Do they just know? (xposted)

[tatermom]

Cross posting this in toddlers because I really want a lot of opinions on this.
So, to those of my DDC buddies who have a DC already, I need some advice. In the past week, DS (20 months) has become almost unbearably clingy, insecure, and demanding. He's always been a very laid-back guy, very secure, and never went through any kind of separation anxiety. But now it's "mommy, mommy pick up" and "mommy mommy big hug" (I know, :crying !) all.day.long!!! I can't even go to the bathroom without him! This morning he broke down because he went outside with DH as we were all going out the door together and he discovered that I wasn't immediately behind him (I'd stopped to get a drink of water). He started crying hysterically and it took us about 10 min to get him calmed down!

Now, I first attributed this to the fact that DH went out of town for work for two nights early this week and I think it really messed with DS's head (he used to know that when we say bye-bye we always come back, but then suddenly daddy didn't come back) even though we talked about it all the time and he talked to DH on the phone and everything. Nothing else in our routine has changed. BUT, in retrospect, I'm realizing that this clingyness started a little over a week ago, the day before we found out I am pg. Could DS just know about the big changes coming? How could he sense that?? Is anyone else going through this with their toddler? I'm exhausted from the constant neediness (last night he wanted me to hold him while he slept, which I'm fine with, except that he wanted to be held in *exactly* the right way and I couldn't quite get it right and he started crying, and I was feeling nauseous and uncomfortable). He's been crying so much in the past few days and it is breaking my heart :crying. How long will this last??? :dizzy:

Thanks for any and all advice or sympathy!!!

[aileen]

tatermom - i feel for you! i don't know if they just know or what but i agree that SOMETHING is going on. i haven't researched the science on this, but i can't help but think that some of it is hormonal? i mean, i feel like i'm dealing with a minature, tiny, 3.5 year old, red headed pregnant lady. she's up, she's down, she's super emotional, she's clingy and extra sweet, but snippy. yesterday she was calling our "mama! mama! i need you!" and then i realized later when dh tried to go get a beer, he got to the bottom of the stairs and i was all, "matty! matty! can you stay?". up - here it goes again - gotta run!:wink

[trmpetplaya]

My dd has been the same way! She also had roseola last week which was REALLY draining since she wouldn't eat any solid foods and just wanted to nurse. I thought it was because she was sick, but she's still very clingy so I'm thinking it's because I'm pregnant...

love and peace. :love

[Ellarae]

Wow, my dd has been doing the same thing. She's only 8 months, but if I put her down for a second, she just sobs. My dh and I have been joking that she know what's going on.

[2much2luv]

:hug

I bet it's a combination of things. I'm sure you're acting a bit different because of nausea and exhaustion, and maybe even subconcsiouly beginning to make room for the baby, and he's probably picking up on some of that. Combined with daddy's unusual work schedule it's probably a lot to handle. :hug Hang in there. He'll be okay.

[ChelseaG]

My 16 month old has also been super clingy, fussy, nursing a ton. I think they do have a sense and kind of know that someone else is coming along that will take some of mommy's attention. Let's hope this clinginess doesn't last a full 9 months!

[snugglebug14]

my almost 23 month old has been acting the same way since right before we found out i wa pregnant. he's also still nursing so i wonder if the hormonal content of the milk changes?! also my supply is beginning to dry up already (which is fine since i want to wean him anyway) but i had just been attribiting it to the "terrible two's" starting. Maybe it has more to do with pg. does anyone have experience on when it ends???

[Mel L]

You know how they just know when you are sick? I think it is kind of the same thing. My son gets SUPER clingy when I feel sick or run down. He senses it (since he was a wee baby), and he thinks that he needs to be with me all the time.

Benji already knows about the baby. I know.... We should have waited, but we didn't. We are trying to get him ready really early. He is also being a little clingy because mommy has a boo-boo (my cracked bone in my foot) so I have no idea what is the actual cause.

[2much2luv]

You know how they just know when you are sick?

My kids really mirror my mood and feelings all the time.

[tatermom]

Thanks for the feedback, everyone. It's been a really hard week for the 3 of us, and I hate to see DS so unhappy. I really hope that this week will be better. I teach parttime so I have to go to work on Mon and Wed mornings so I hope he won't spend the whole time unhappy as he plays over at one of his friend's houses. I think my milk is drying up, too, which is not helping the situation, though I've just noticed this in the past few days so I don't think it was the cause of all the distress. I'm really surprised at how quickly it is drying up, though... I was hoping to nurse DS until close to 24 mos but now I'm not sure we'll make it to 22 mos. :(

I also decided that it might help if we straightforwardly told DS about the baby... we may be underestimating how much he understands about everything and he probably at least knows that something is going on. I ordered some books to help explain about the baby... as soon as they arrive we'll sit down and talk to him about it.

Thanks again, everyone!