Labor pain the worst pain there is?

[kykarraliv]

How many of you are tired of hearing that? I have just got to say that labor pain is not the worse pain there is. I have experienced pain that blows away labor pains. Let me see, getting a colonectomy is worse than labor pain. Having a hemroid as big as a pickle:sick was worse pain. Having a perirectal abcess was worse pain by a long shot.
There is such a difference between the working uterus and some of the pain that I have experienced in my life. Why do people continue to try to frighten pregnant women with horror stories? Out of 5 labors, I had one that did not hurt at all.:D Unusual I know but why are not more stories like that shared? The very best thing I have found for labor is having a doula there for you. Someone who is just focused on you and supporting you through labor, encouraging you along. Expectations and fears can really affect a laboring women. So wouldn't it make sense to relate encouraging stories to them. Would you tell someone going into the hospital for surgery about how awful it was, how they would be screaming out in pain? No. What is up with this?

[KFH]

Yeah, I'd say my gallbladder attack of October '02 was worse. Out of the blue and it lasted for 6 days without respite until they yanked the darn thing out. Dilauded was my best friend. That pain was definitely worse than my long, long, painful, horrendous first labor!

[frogertgrl]

Yeah, I never understood how teenage girls could give birth in their home bathroom and not make a peep but every birth I saw on 'A Baby's Story' or heard about, the woman was writhing and crying out in pain.

I moaned and exhaled loudly but honestly, b/c I labored at home, naked and in any room and position I pleased, that made all the difference. Strap me down to a bed and do vaginal exams and put my feet in stirrups and knees to shoulders and count to ten as I push - that would be PAINFUL (and ridiculously stupid).

[shelbean91]

I agree. I always try to share my positive labor experience. I had a really bad ankle sprain that I think was worse pain and I had an ulcer that I always said it felt like I thought labor would (before I had kids). The ulcer pain was acutally worse.

I think labor pain is more like the pain when you work out really hard. It's pain with a purpose and you feel great when it's over.

[Viola]

Oh good, I agree with you. I haven't had much pain in my life, but I am rather a wimp with it. As a child, I had bad menstrual cramps that were really hard to take, but as I've gotten older they aren't bad at all. I had a particularly bad sciatic episode a couple of years ago that had me ready to shoot myself. Not literally, but I started thinking if it lasted for weeks, I wouldn't know what to do. I also had an abscessed tooth in the front that I didn't know about until pus started coming out of my eye-gross-but I couldn't sleep for 3 days towards the end of that because of the pain, but I can't even remember what it feels like now so it must not have been that bad. I can still remember those painful menstrual cramps, and I've dreamed about them. I used to think someone was shoving a pole up my butt. LOL

Unfortunately I had an epidural with my first, so I didn't experience much of the pain. The pain I did have felt like someone was gouging me in the back with a blunt object. Then when I was vomiting around the time of pushing, my stomach really hurt. Finally at the end when the epidural was turned down, I could feel my daughter's head come out and I felt some contractions that were like mild menstrual cramps. My sister has been scaring me with her descriptions of things, but I think part of it was the fear that she was ripping in two, or something like that. Once the epidural was turned off, then I could feel some painful things, like when he reached up and pulled part of the placenta out, and when the nurse vigorously massaged my uterus. That was kind of an interesting pain, though. I was shocked by the intensity of the sensation, but I almost kind of liked it, if that makes any sense. Then there was stinging when he sutured up where I had torn, but that wasn't bad.

I did have a woman who had two sons tell me that neither of her labors hurt her at all, and she didn't have drugs. Then another woman who had a pain med free hospital birth with pitocin enhancement ended up having a homebirth the next time. She said she kept waiting for the contractions to get bad, but then she was through transition and it was time to push. I know it must be an individual thing, but I wonder if I can achieve a state where I don't look at it as a damaging pain, but a useful sensation. I hope so!

[velveeta]

I haven't had my baby yet, but this is something that I think about a lot. I really believe I could experience no worse pain than emotional pain that I have felt in my life. Also, I would gladly trade in months' worth of nausea and heartburn for a day of intense pain.

I wonder why people make such a big deal out of it? Hmmm. Maybe I am about to find out! :LOL :LOL

:love
Jean

[mshollyk]

i can't say it was the worst pain i've ever had (migraines/sinus infections take that honor), but i do remember being taken aback at how incredibly and completely overwhelming it was. i was really expecting to be able to deal with the contrax by breathing through them, but they came so quickly that i really couldn't. labor was FAR more intense than i had imagined, but not quite as painful as i thought it would be--i'm not sure if i'm describing it very well.

[momto l&a]

The worst pain I have ever experienced was thumb nail that ripped off over halfway back into the quick:eek :eek :eek

Have my 2 girls at home was a breeze compared to the thumb nail!

[Sharon]

I haven't experienced labor yet, but the worst pain I've ever felt was when both ear drums ruptured and my ear canals swelled shut...miserable! I think head pain is some of the worst because it's so hard to ignore. I think I'll be much more capable of dealing with intense pain other places in my body.

[MommyT]

Stubbing my toe hurt more than childbirth....but that's only because nothing positive comes out of smashing my toe on a chair. :)

I always share my positive birthing experience with people. I find that especially pregnant women find this a relief since it seems that most people want to scare the cotton out of them from their own birth experiences (which are 99% of the time riddled with pitocin and other interventions).

I loved birthing! It wasn't easy and it wasn't painless for me....but it was oh so worth it and I'm looking forward to birthing again!

[lilyka]

So long as I didn't lay down my labors were completely painless. I guess I never expected it to hurt and I really think that played a role as to why it didn't I could certainly feel how strong the contractions were but the didn't hurt.

I had a kidney infection at 32 weeks that we thought was labor. let me tell you, I was totally reconsidering the epidural within 20 minutes of checking into the hospital. that hurt worse than anything ever.

[dotcommama]

Thank you for this positive thread - it's easing some of my fears!

:)

[Clarity]

I had a kidney stone while I was pregnant. It passed very quickly, I was breathing through the pain...but it worried me, how would I handle labor? 31 hours of back labor, most of them unmedicated, and a c-sec. Kidney stone was worse!

[Viola]

Originally posted by MommyT
Stubbing my toe hurt more than childbirth....but that's only because nothing positive comes out of smashing my toe on a chair. :)

ROFL OK, so I'm not a baby for jumping up and down on one foot while holding my smashed toe?

[Viola]

Originally posted by frogertgrl
Yeah, I never understood how teenage girls could give birth in their home bathroom and not make a peep but every birth I saw on 'A Baby's Story' or heard about, the woman was writhing and crying out in pain.

:LOL I've wondered the same thing sometimes! I remember watching some show a long time ago, Oprah, I think it was, and a woman was talking about how she had her baby on the toilet, thinking she was just having a bad intestinal illness.

[Bekka]

I was just going to say, do you think that some people are shocked by the yelling some birthing women do, even in a healthy, normal labor (you know, to deal with the intensity), and take it as yelling to deal with the pain?

I have to say that I had pretty bad back labor with both (induced :o ); no pain meds in labor. But it wasn't nearly as bad as the pain I had with my leg fracture in multiple places (I was on serious meds for weeks to deal with that pain). I hope that with this pregnancy (far away in Dec. or Jan.) that I will be able to just have the front pressure, because I can deal with that any day ...

[Kat20]

Amy,
Yeah, I read a story similar to that in YM Magazine I used to get as a teenager. It was about a girl who did not feel well one day, so she came home from school and had a baby when she went to the bathroom a couple of hours later.

Then there was that girl in New Jersey who gave birth in the bathroom at the hotel where her prom was being held.

There was also a teenage couple who gave birth in a hotel room. I think this was in NJ, too.

It seems that there is a correlation between giving birth in a quiet and private place and experiencing less pain.

[Dodo]

I don't know you guys, I found labour very painful. Maybe some women are luckier than others.

And to reassure you first-time moms-to-be, I can't wait to give birth again. It was the worst pain I've ever felt, but also the greatest exhilaration. Definitely worth it. When I was pregnant, I was fearful of labour. Then I gave birth and to my surprise it was more difficult than I had imagined. Now, knowing that, I am no longer afraid of labour. At all. Go figure.

[Eman'smom]

Worst pain ever, wisdom teeth removal hands down (I can't believe nobody has brought up that torture). It was never ending I layed in a ball and cried for 4 days, unless of course dh picked me up enough to throw up.

Labor for me was very painful and I'm not going to sugar coat it, but the bad pain was short lived and ended quickly. There were also breaks in the pain. Don't forget the bonus of ds :D taking my wisdom teeth home in a baggie doesn't compare.

[Greaseball]

Hmmm, I didn't find the wisdom teeth that bad. Except for when I woke up in the middle of the surgery after having a nightmare. That was bad. They finished the job with just a local.

Anyway...I think it's good to tell people it may be the worst pain ever and it may not; everyone's different. I gave birth in stirrups with forceps and found it to be the worst pain ever, but I think if I did it again and wasn't lying down it would be not as bad. But at the time I was thinking I was doing something wrong or my body was abnormal because it hurt.

From what I hear, non-intervention births often come with only a very managable level of pain.

[starfairy]

um..well, maybe for *you* & other women labor isn't the worst pain, but I have had hellish labors ranging from 30-17 hrs (4 live births so far) & yep, they were the worst pain I have ever felt in my life. Every woman has different experiences, every baby is different...my friend had a painless 20 minute birth - then had a far longer, very painfull birth where she thought she would die. We all have different bodies, what yours can do easily, perhaps mine has more difficulty doing. But, I did manage 3 of those (the 4th being the worst) unassisted, so .... :)

Everything previously mention - kidney stones, kidney infections, biopsies, scopes, wisdom teeth,broken bones, etc,etc,etc - all a walk in the park compared to *my* births!

[hkrose]

thanks for the thread! it is very encouraging! it is hard as a first time mom-to-be not having anything to compare the pain expectation too. keep em coming! :)

[CherP]

22.5 hrs for my first - wasn't all that bad.
Now gall bladder - that's another story!! Worst pain I have ever felt :eek
I wanted to cut my stomach out myself to relieve the pain. Thank goodness it's now out.
Strange for me was that when DS was born, pushing was a relief.
whowuddathunkit :rolleyes:

[Chelly2003]

Worst pains I've had:
All my front teeth crowned at the same time, and they still have nerves - the teeth had to be filed down, and dried with cold air - I just about climbed up the wall - and I had about 7 injections for the pain, but it just could not kill THAT pain.

I've slammed my thumb in a car door, I was about 8 years old...... HORRIBLE pain, my nail went black and two days later, I hit the SAME fricken nail on a door jam, and the nail fell off....

I've had abcessed teeth, ear infections, bladder infections that were also pretty bad. Those I dont' think were as bad as labor, but they were POINTLESS pains......

[Viola]

:OT You know, it's weird about wisdom teeth. I've heard it can be painful, but I had absolutely no pain with it. My teeth were completely sideways, so they put me to sleep, cut them out then stitched the area up--maybe it was just an easy extraction because of how they were--the roots weren't down in the bone. The oral surgeon shoving the needle in was the worst part of it--I had a lump in my arm that lasted for several months.

I had emergency oral surgery for my first abscessed tooth because it was so far advanced by the time I went to the oral surgeon. I was in college at the time, and had gone to a dentist, student health and the ER and no one diagnosed the problem. I kept thinking it was my wisdom teeth, and when the oral surgeon told me my wisdom teeth would have to come out in a few months, I almost cried. I said, "But I'm in pain now!" He discovered the problem, gave me a shot of penicillin in my hip, and insisted I come back the next day. I had a root canal, but got to be put to sleep--cool. I had oral surgery when I was 10 and had 4 teeth removed. I woke up during the operation, but I didn't notice any pain so I didn't worry about it. I was still half out of it anyway, like I was in a dream. But back then the drug they gave was sodium pentathol, so maybe it didn't work the same way.

During my last pregnancy that ended in miscarriage, I had a root canal early on because I had an infected tooth that was moving to abscess. Even after all the nerve pulp was removed, I had a little pain for awhile. I have always wondered if the abscess then had something to do with the miscarriage, but I don't know.

OK, back on topic: Reading the stories in the Ina May Gaskin books, I noticed that some are really positive in terms of the pain not being so bad, but others the moms are pretty clear that it was painful and it took all their resources to deal with it. I like that the stories are realistic in that way, but I kind of hope if I do things differently, I will find the pain more manageable without drugs.

[sweetfeet]

.

[Avonlea]

Well good for you.I am so sick and tired myself of hearing how labour is not so bad...you know what, for me it was agony and I was hoping to die before it was over.So go ahead and pat yourself on the back once more that you are somehow better than the rest because you had labours like that.Great, good job and so on and so forth..but knock it off with the "labour is not that painful..and anyone who says it is must be whining or exaggerating".

[Viola]

So Avonlea, it sounds like for you it really was the worst pain you've ever experienced. I think the point people have been making is that the circumstances of birth differ widely, and people experience pain differently.

My dad would tell me stories from the war (WW2). I remember once I sprained my ankle, then hurt my back and couldn't move because I was in a lot of pain. I was a captive audience for his stories that day. "You think that is bad? Well, I'll tell you what pain is. My buddy crawled out of a foxhole and had his leg blown off. The flesh rolled up the bone. I had to pour sulfa powder on it and give him a shot of morphine. Now that's pain!" Wow, gee thanks, Dad, but I'm 15 and I'm not planning on getting my leg blown off anytime soon, so I guess I'll take your word for it."

[LavenderMae]

It's not a competition, everyones labor will be different.

[frogertgrl]

Originally posted by Avonlea
..but knock it off with the "labour is not that painful..and anyone who says it is must be whining or exaggerating".

Who are you quoting in that quoted phrase? I never saw anyone write that in this thread. :confused:

[applejuice]

Labor is extremely painful. But not all labors are the same. The pain is different in each labor.

First I had a long posterior labor; then my 2nd was a long posterior labor with a deflexed head, at home. My third was very easy. My fourth was hard, because it began at the end of a long day of working.

I have heard, that the pain of a broken bone or kidneystone is worse.


The pain comes and goes; there is a rhythm to it. Your body also makes natural endorphines to deal with the pain.

Exercise and good nutrition and a good mental outlook helps you overcome any pain.

[Avonlea]

Sorry to make it so personal.My Mother in Law actually made the comment about whining and etc.

I was induced early due to severe pre eclampsia.I was stuck in a bed on my left side for almost twenty hours of pitocin induced labour that did not progress past seven centimeters. I was told that I should think about a section ..so I said ok.At that point I did not care any more..I was past the point of thinking" I am going to die" and into the "why aren't I dead yet? Does God hate me ? " phase.

I know there are women( some of them friends of mine) who describe labour as nothing more serious than heavy menstrual crapms, or like a bladder infection.

When I hear things like that I get mad.I am not mad becasue they had their own experiance, I am mad because it was NOT like that for me..and if I say " it was the WORST pain I have ever felt in my entire life." then I get these looks,, like I failed in my introduction into the "super mommie" competition. LIke I should have had the baby, then gotten up and made bread by hand and milked a cow and plowed a few rows out in the back fourty.

It was the most dreadful experiance I have ever had.

Now with this baby I am having a scheduled ceserean section, and already I ma getting flack about that from some folks. They are the ones who birthed their babies with a minimum of compliacations who think I should just get a new dr/midwife and just "trust my body" and so on and so forth....but if it is MY body and there for MY choice..why can't I get any affermation of that fact!!!!

Ok, I am venbting now. I am sorry again for doing that. I am so emotional right now after a friend asked about choosing the things I have chosen to do with this birth.I feel like NO ONE understands what I went through having my first child, and that NO ONE understands why I am doing it the way I am this time around.

LIke I have to JUSTIFY my birth choices..can't I just have some supprt on this one...Please?????

And of course this has nothing to do with this entire thread...but in a way it does..because my labour was awful and when some one says" stubbing my toe hurt worse" it just further causes me to feel like a complete incompetant fool who has once again failed somehow.

I am going to stop now because I am crying and going in circles with what I am trying to say.
Becca.

[Viola]

{{{{{{{{Becca}}}}}}}}

Sorry you have had such a bad experience and no support with your decisions now.

I guess for me, I'm just hoping that I can overcome my fear of the pain and I'm hoping that it won't be as bad this time, so reading the stories where it isn't so bad is kind of encouraging. When I think back to what I went through in labor, I think I could have gone longer without the epidural than I did, but I felt like the situation in the hospital made it harder. Fortunately I had an easy pregnancy and no medical reasons for induction, so I was able to call off my scheduled induction and go in on my own. But then I still had the epidural because I was uncomfortable in the position I had to be in for monitoring, I had strong nausea with each contraction, and I really hate nausea! I didn't have any with morning sickness, so I guess I just don't know how to deal with it. Plus I hadn't slept in 24 hours and thought if I got the epidural, I would be able to sleep so I'd be better rested for later on. I wonder if my threshold for pain is lower, if it's all in my mind or what. I just don't know.

Along these lines, I've watched David Letterman a few times recently, and he has been quite vocal in how painful his case of the shingles was. I had shingles once, and it was bad enough that when I thought I was getting it again I thought there was no way I wanted to go through that again. But I think that I couldn't have had as bad a case as he did from the way he is talking about it.

[indiegirl]

1st labor: 3 days. Most of it was managable but the 10 hours of transition labor sucked. Baby V was in a funky position. Worst pain ever.

2nd labor actually felt GOOD at times. Last hour was very intense. Shattering my wrist was much more painful.

It is very intense, I wil say that. Sometimes overwhelming. I didn't like not being in control--and having to let go of everything. Once I did, it was over within 15 minutes.

Labors aren't a competition--and I don't think this thread is about competition. It's good to share that labors don't have to be (but sometimes are) excessively painful.

I think there is a difference between laboring and suffering. I think that when suffering is going on, medical intervention in the form of drugs is warrented. Not all labors are normal and no one should be made to suffer. I suffered with my first birth and did a lot of mental work on that experience and did not feel I suffered through my second labor...

Jesse

[juicylucy]

Originally posted by Avonlea


And of course this has nothing to do with this entire thread...but in a way it does..because my labour was awful and when some one says" stubbing my toe hurt worse" it just further causes me to feel like a complete incompetant fool who has once again failed somehow.

I am going to stop now because I am crying and going in circles with what I am trying to say.
Becca.

Becca :hug , it has nothing to do with how good a mummy you are, I think people here know that. I think it's about pain thresholds personally, plain and simple. My labour really WASN'T that painful- uncomfortable yes- but through that experience I have just discovered that I just have a very high pain threshold. (though ask me again after this next labour experience!) Trust me, with my first birth I was all ready to have an epidural if I needed it, the pain just never got that bad. And I don't think that is gloating at all. So please don't feel incompetent or upset, in no way have you failed. I think most labours are probably the most painful experience most women have gone through.

[Mommiska]

My first labour was probably the worst pain I personally have ever experienced...but it only lasted 7-8 hours, so that wasn't too bad!

My second labour was just over 2 hours start to finish, and while it hurt, I wasn't convinced I was in labour until AFTER I was through transition (I think!), and I do remember thinking as I was holding dd2 - 'That really wasn't too bad'. :D

Other people have said this, but I think one of the best things this thread is saying is - labours are all different, and it doesn't necessarily have to be 2 days of agony, relieved only by an epidural the mom is going to be so incredibly grateful for, you know?

When I was pregnant with #1, just knowing that some women gave birth with little to no pain was an incredible encouragement to me...I just hoped I was one of those women! I think believing that labour might not be too bad for me probably helped, when all was said and done.

[Quirky]

I think it's very true that different women have different pain thresholds. I also think it's true, from everything I've read here and elsewhere, that for many women (not all, of course) there's a world of difference between the pain of laboring in whatever position they want, when they're free to move around, vocalize, eat, drink, use various methods of coping like laboring in water or massage, etc. and the pain of laboring tied down to an IV and a monitor, in bed, not able to move around, and with contractions artificially started and amped up by cytotec/cervidil/pitocin etc.

I'm not saying that's true in all cases, a lot of women who went for natural childbirth have a lot of pain, too, but I don't think anyone who's been induced or who has been forced to labor in a particular way because of hospital policy or the L&D staff's preferences has anything to defend herself about if the pain was overwhelming. Our whole obstetrical system sets women up for painful labors and birth "emergencies." :rolleyes: We're not that far along from the days when women (including my mom) had their hands tied to the bed railings.

OK, I'm not only ranting but preaching to the converted. :p For me, I was surprised at how manageable it was, but I had a great birthing center experience with a husband feeding me honey from a spoon while I hung out in the whirlpool tub for hours. :love I did end up with an episiotomy (one out of 10 my midwife has done in her 20 year career - but hey, I'm not defensive :D ) and THAT hurt like an SOB for weeks. :angry

:blah :blah :blah

[MommyT]

Originally posted by Avonlea
And of course this has nothing to do with this entire thread...but in a way it does..because my labour was awful and when some one says" stubbing my toe hurt worse" it just further causes me to feel like a complete incompetant fool who has once again failed somehow.

I am going to stop now because I am crying and going in circles with what I am trying to say.
Becca.


{{{{{BECCA}}}}}} I'm so sorry, I didn't mean to make anyone feel like that. This was just how I veiw pain as a whole, and for me just like it is for you, it's also a personal experience. I'm also a distance runner, some think this hurts, it's a positive 'pain' for me. Pain that happens with no positive result is horrible pain to me.....nothing positive comes out of a stubbed toe or broken leg or a gall stone. But labor is good pain for me because I have a beautiful baby and I think that's what many of us are trying to say.

I was very happy with my pregnancy and my birth, not because I was just 'plain old lucky'..... but (DH and I) worked very hard to ensure this worked out to be a wonderful experience for us. Through nutrition we avoided any complications and ensured a healthy, strong uterus and baby. Through education we knew our choices and I knew exactly what to expect from each stage of labor and how to avoid a high intervention birth. Because I knew what to expect, it hurt less, or was more bearable because I knew it would naturally pass.

So my pain I felt (or didn't feel) wasn't the result of my 'luck' or high pain threshhold (I have a very low pain threshold), it was because I took charge of how I wanted thing to go. I'm not saying you didn't, but like you, I get frustrated by people telling me how my birth was in comparison to theirs. As if I was 'lucky' I was to have an 'easy' labor, it wasn't luck. Luck implies I had no control of the situation. Lottery winners are lucky, I made this happen for me. Labor's not easy, it's a lot of work (thus the name 'labor') and I worked 36 hours at it....worked to relax and get out of my body's way to let my contractions work, worked to keep hospital staff away from me :lol: and worked VERY hard to push and birth my son.

I think if you are happy with your choices, forget everyone else. The most important thing is that you feel good about your birth and you have a healthy baby. :)

[kykarraliv]

Becca:grouphug please do not feel that because you had a lot of pain in labor that you have failed in anyway. With 5 births I have had a range of experiences including the most interventionistic hospital birth (short of a C-sect) complete with epidural to completely drug free births. To survive difficult births is in itself a reason to celebrate. I wish that more people would celebrate their strengths in getting through and dealing with their difficult births I think that it would give pregnant mom's courage that they too can get through it and their bodies are strong enough.
For myself pitocin and being strapped to a monitor greatly:eek increases pain of laboring and birth. My mind can do amazing things. With my 1st birth it was a medical horror. Lithimy (sp?) position, Pitocin, demoral, epesiotomy where the dr joked about how dull his scissors were while he was hacking away at me. That was a hard labor for me to manage. My second labor I didn't even realize that I was in transition because it happened fairly quickly (within 2 hours) and I kept thinking,"Okay I had better just relax and enjoy myself because I have a long way to go and this is going to get worse." I truly believed that I was in the 1 stage of labor. I never did preceive that labor as painful. That was my only labor that wasn't painful though:) I think that women should also be given positive birth stories too so that they don't go into labor expecting to be writhing in pain. Expectations have a way of fulfilling themselves.

[Cathi]

Um, let's see....labor versus a 52 day continuous migraine due to a brain tumor. I'll take labor ANY day, even my long arduous non-medicated 27 hour labor after 3 days of prodromal labor!

Labor sensation is something I could cope with, that's why I'm glad there were breaks in between contractions. But I do understand that not everyone has the same pain threshhold.

Edited because I used a smiley insensitively.

[Summer]

My labor with Jonah was easily the most painful experience of my life and I've had some pain before too. It wasn't only the intensity of the pain (although it was very intense), it was also the "marathon" of pain that I just couldn't stay on top of. Having such intense contractions and then having no idea when it would end- knowing only that it would get worse and worse and worse until it finally ended was easily the hardest part of the experience. I was exhausted, overwhelmed and utterly unequiped to handle it. Since it was an induction, I had no breaks between contractions to regroup.

See, I had believed that a positive attitude and the right mental perspective would make the experience just like all those "intense but painless" labors I had read about on-line. I didn't even consider that it would hurt because I didn't want to get sucked into the "fear-pain-fear" cycle that all the uber-natural Moms had described. Well, I felt no fear, that was certain, but one heck of a lot of pain. I got an epidural and to be totally honest, I think that medicine saved me from a C-section.

I was induced starting with a hard and closed cervix, so I'm hoping that a natural labor will feel different. Also I've prepared myself for actual pain this time, which I also hope will make a difference. If it doesn't and labor is the same this time, I'll be back for another epidural. I'll be at a Birth Center instead of a hospital, so it'll be a more involved process to transfer to the hospital, but it's a possibility. I won't feel like a failure if I do decide to transfer. I have yet to meet the person with enough power over me to make me feel that way.

[Dodo]

Oh, Becca, your post reminded me that I also wanted to die during labour.

I get a little offended by the Grantly-Read (sp.?) and Ina Mays of the birthing world. The last thing I want during labour is an intrusive midwife asking me about my relationship with dh (see every second birth story in Spiritual Midwifery). This attitude suggests that a woman's messy inner state is responsible for her long, painful labour, which is, for me, a little too reminiscent of the medical model where women's pain is (or hopefully "was") too often assumed to have psychological roots.

[shelbean91]

I've never been induced, but it sounds to me there is a great variety in the pain considering whether or not you're induced. With my son, they wanted to start me on pitocin 1 hr after I got there b/c I only progressed from 3 to 4 cm in that hr. I looked at the nurse like she was nuts and said we were NOT starting pitocin. She said 'I'll call the dr and see what he says' like they have a choice and comes back and said he ok'd no pit. I told my dh that the reason I didn't want pit was b/c in makes contractions harder to deal with, therefore possibly making an epidural a necessity, therefore possibly stalling labor, therefore making for a possible csection.

I know that that line of events may not happen, but I gave birth to my dd w/no pain meds, even though I fully wanted an epidural, but it took them so long to get the IV in, it was too late. Once I knew I could do it with her, there was no reason to have one w/ds and I really resented that stupid nurse trying to pressure me into having pit just to have my son (already 5 weeks early at that point) be born by midnight instead of 3 am so the dr could get more sleep.

Now, granted, both of my labors were really fast and I hardly think I'm a superwoman for making it without pain meds, but I like to share my story with women who are afraid of labor b/c I know when I was pg all I heard was horror stories. I know everyone likes to scare newly pg women and I try to balance that out and I wish my labors on anyone who wants them. With dd I went from 6 cm to delivered in an hour, with ds, I went from 6 cm to delivered in 1/2 hr and I had no pain until then.

Now, we did have special issues b/c they were each 5 weeks early and I don't wish that on anyone - I didn't get to hold either of them until at least an hour after delivery and ds was in the nursery for about 4 hrs. We had real problems breastfeeding that I wouldn't ever want to repeat or wish on anyone. I still feel cheated b/c I didn't get to hold either of my kids when they were first born.

I have happy healthy kids, I think that we can all agree that's the most important thing. It doesn't matter how they got here, but it's that they're here. Sure, we may have preferred things to have gone differently, but if the end result is a happy, healthy child- things are good.

[fourlittlebirds]

There should be no "I want to die" type pain in a natural, normal, uninterfered-with labor in a healthy, unfearful mother.

That said, I had horrendous back labor (which I do not consider normal) with all three of my births and it was quite easily the WORST pain I have ever felt. But I do not feel *I* failed in any sense; to the contrary, I consider giving birth a victory for myself. Unfortunately my first midwife did have that attitude that Becca mentioned about "whining and exaggerating." I have very bitter feelings toward that midwife, because she was quite simply wrong, and her observation was harmful.

When I talk to others about birth pain I stress that while we all should be prepared to deal with intense pain, it should not be assumed that it WILL be painful. That's a set-up for a self-fulfilled prophecy, IMO.

I haven't read Grantly-Read but I do agree that pain in labor is often (but not always, and not in my case) due to the fear-pain cycle. That's important to acknowledge so that we can take steps toward making the birth environment such that that at least is not an issue.

I cannot STAND Ina May's approach. I honor her for doing so much politically to further the cause of homebirth, but she has a lot of really archaic (some based in obstetrics) assumptions about what the birthing woman needs.

[fourlittlebirds]

"It doesn't matter how they got here, but it's that they're here. "

I disagree strongly. Yes, it is important that the child gets here happy and healthy. But the importance of that does not nullify the importance of the other.

Marsden Wagner writes: "Showing women---half of all people---that they are inferior and inadequate by taking away their power to give birth is a tragedy for all society. On the other hand, respecting the woman as an important and valuable human being and making certain that the woman's experience while giving birth is fulfilling and empowering is not just a nice extra, it is absolutely essential as it makes the woman strong and therefore makes society strong."

[galadriel]

Um, its true that women experience labor differently. In my case, it was the worst pain I ever had (24 hours drug-free at home, then 12 hours drugged). I was completely shocked by it. There's no reason to be afraid of labor, either-- whatever happens, happens, and I wouldn't trade a second of my (painful!) experience. I've never had a brain tumor or comparable stuff, but I did have a painful bleeding ulcer in my intestine for some 10 years, that hurt pretty badly. And I've always had a high threshold for pain.

I think it's important to make room for all of our experiences, and lay aside your assumptions beforehand. Labor was absolutely nothing like I expected, and I thought I was really well prepared. It was so important to be adaptable. (I just gave birth 13 days ago, so it's fresh in my mind).

ETA: I love hearing stories about easier or quick labors, too-- I think that's awesome. I totally expected to have one of those, and read those stories my whole pregnancy. I think it's ridiculous that anyone would try to "scare" pregnant women with horror stories. What's the point? Just ignore them, and be prepared for anything, easy or hard.

[crazy_eights]

Mostly I've found that women tell me to shut up when I they hear me tell other first time moms that it can be painful, but managable (but I do think that inductions and early rupture of membranes are tortuous).

For me, breaking my leg and having it set (twice!) by a sadistic physician without any drugs beats labor hands down. And then falling on it (in the cast) when I tried to get up for my pain pills in the middle of the night when I couln't get anyone to wake up to get them for me.

The part they don't mention when talking about labor pain is that it generally isn't constant.

[Viola]

Originally posted by Ubertulip

ETA: I love hearing stories about easier or quick labors, too-- I think that's awesome.

So do I! I talked to one mom who went in for her 39 week OB appointment and found out she was dialated 9 centimeters. So she went onto the hospital and had her baby 2 hours later. I kept hoping it would be like that for me. :)

[Cathi]

I like what some of you have pointed out. It makes me think about my experience as a first time mom differently now that it's the second time around.

~Induction: I wasn't induced but at 10 weeks in this pregnancy a midwife suggsted I be induced by 38 weeks to avoid a big baby. I KNEW from listening to other moms who had been induced that the pain would be horrific, no breaks in between, require me to lay flat on my back which makes pain worse, etc. So I have great respect for women who have had an induced labor. I agree wholeheartedly that it must be a completely different kind of pain.

~Back labor: Now, I DID have back labor because my son was posterior. My mom had back labor with all five of her kids and none of us was posterior. I think sometimes it's just how you end up feeling the pain. And it really WAS very hard to deal with because nothing made it ease up. I had counted on using water and heat, but neither of those helped me at all. In fact I felt worse in the water. So again, different kind of labor pain with back labor.

~I REALLY liked what Ubertulip had to say in this quote I think it's important to make room for all of our experiences, and lay aside your assumptions beforehand. Labor was absolutely nothing like I expected, and I thought I was really well prepared. It was so important to be adaptable. That is soooo true, thank you for stating it so eloquently. As first time moms we don't know what to expect and sometimes labor can be overwhelming once we're in the throes of it. I remember thinking to myself "Is this normal? It hurts so much more than I thought it would!" I felt really prepared too but now looking back I see many things I could have/should have done differently. While I KNEW the information in my head (rest while the contractions aren't too painful, eat and drink frequently, etc) once I was in labor I was so excited adn anxious that I forgot all about that stuff.

~I love to hear about painless labors, or better yet SEE them. I saw one on a Baby Story where a woman used hypnobirthing. She just laid in her bed quiety breathing until it was time to push. Her husband said it looked like she was sleeping. Boy, wouldn't that be nice! That said, I think painless labors are really rare, and I personally don't think pain is always associated with fear. I didn't fear labor at all, but it was painful. I do know that for me laboring at the birthing center was not comfortable. i felt like I was at a hotel and couldn't really relax. I DO think that had something to do with my pain level. This time I'm doing it at home and I hope I'll feel more at ease and, therefore, less pain.

[Beth]

My mom birthed 8 babies. She said the labors were all different, from mild discomfort with me:thumb (I made up for her lack of pain in childbirth with the trouble I gave her in adolescence:mischief ) to lots of pain with her last 2 labors. Truly all labors are different even for the same mom.

[ellery]

labor is what you make of it all women are different if you go in like ' this is gonna be the worst pain it will be you cant stop it. I thought it was the best experience of my life twice .Without drugs to its supposed to hurt that why they call it labor i believe drugs take away from labor women do it every day.

[mamaknature]

I have to say that the worst pain was when I had a chronic back injury that felt like being pounded with sledge hammers and ice picks from my mid-back to the tips of my toes. This lasted a few months.

As much as I loathe advice, I am going to share what worked for me during my home-water-birth:
It is very important to be able to do whatever necessary during labor to relax. For me, it meant being around only people with whom I can totally be myself. Holding back leads to more pain, causing the body to hold back, and making labor longer.

I had back labor (baby was posterior) for 4 hours. The worst of it was worrying about how long it would take. I had no concept of time, but I was concerned that I wouldn't be able to endure a long labor. Aside from being a back labor, I didn't have to face any serious complications. My heart goes out to those of you that had to face challenges during labor.

Before giving birth, I saw a video of an orangatan (sp?) giving birth. I was determined to be as relaxed as she. I was able to sense how she let her contractions do the work. Her body didn't fight them; she let them flow through her. I believe seeing that video really helped me dilate faster. I trusted in the primordial knowledge that my body holds. I let go of the desire to control or fix my body.

I had my mattress on the floor. To relieve the pressure off my back, I bounced around the mattress on all fours and it helped a lot (I felt like an ape). I'm not sure I would have been able to do that in a hospital. Also, when I was able to get into the birthing tub, the water worked wonders on the discomfort. Being able to float with the contractions took the pressure off. And the heat was sooooo soothing. It just goes to show how different we all are. Have trust that your body will find what works.

I hope some of this can help relieve some fears and actually come in handy during your birth.:thumb

[fourlittlebirds]

"My mom had back labor with all five of her kids and none of us was posterior."

I always wonder, when I hear about back labor with anterior births, if the babies were actually posterior until just before descending? (Which is what we believe was the case with me.)

[Viola]

Mine was. The doctor and nurses seemed to know that she was in the posterior position, because I remember them talking about it. At one point the nurse had her hand inside of me, making swirling motions on my daughter's head, trying to encourage her to turn. I asked if that did any good, and she said, "Somtimes." But then she decided to go an get the doctor. I was in the pushing stage, but the baby didn't seem to be descending very well because of the presentation. Although in retrospect, who knows. The come down a little slide back up thing is normal, but at the time I didn't know that and was very discouraged. Then the doctor came in and told my doula to really help me get my upper body closer to my knees--exactly what the Bradley book says not to do, but it seemed to work because all of a sudden on that push the baby came down pretty quickly and when she came out she was in the anterior position. They told me that she had turned and that that was what had made the difference.

[Cathi]

I think a lot of babies are posterior in labor and turn before descending. I remember my midwife saying that ds would probably turn in labor, but he did not. So, yes, I think you're right, blueviolet! Back when my mom gave birth I guess they didn't put too much emphasis on position of the baby before labor so perhaps all 5 of us were posterior until birth! Wouldn't it suck to birth 5 posterior babies? :sick Back labor is the worst!

[Touch of Sunshine]

The first wasn't induced. Though they ruptured teh membrane. Then contractions started. I can't say it didn't hurt, it did. But was it terrible, no. Now my second was induced and i used no pain meds. In one contraction, I went from 3 cm to 10. I push for less than 45 minutes. And it had to be the worst pain I've felt. I felt I was being torn apart. I was mad that she induced me. i had a nurse tell me be be quiet, it didn't hurt that bad. If I wasn't busy at that moment I'd have scratched her eyes out. Then baby #3, I was over 2 weesk late and had to be induced due to deterioration of the plancenta. Before they even ruptured teh embrane I had an epidural, I wimped out. but I laughed and joked through the labor. Took 1 hour for her to be born. With my last pregnancy, it was second trimester loss. I felt it all, did it all on my own, well, mostly till i hemmoraged, but I did breathing, meditation, and when it got intense, deep toned moaning worked. I forcused on the deep pitch and focused energy there.

Now since then i've spoken to many, and truthfully, labor can and does hurt for most. For some, due to whatever reasons can be intense almost unbearable at the moment. For others it's discomfort, others irritation. However, the moment they put that precious baby in your arms, tears of fatigue and pain, turn in to tears of joy and gratitude, and the pain quickly fades. I guess what everyone needs to keep in mind is that this what we do to meet our babies. It's natural, no one said it won't hurt though apparenetly 15% of women have no labor pain.

If you feel the need to yell, then yell, but focus you energy. Think of martial arts, they yell at the moment they are sending the maximum energy out. It helps them to focus that energy. It's all a natural part of child labor.

I'd like to know who says discomfort or pain isn't natural?? I think that is a great disservice to first time moms as well. While there is pain, there are ways to help ease it some if not entirely.

Ok, pregnant mom rambling going on...sorry.

[orangebird]

All three of my labors were the worst pain I have ever been in. I thought I was seriously going to die. I was never afraid and very sure of my bodies ability and all that but they undeniably hurt like @#$%!! I have had kidney stones, which people say is as painful as childbirth- I would take the pain of kidney stones again any day over the pain of labor! I had my last baby at home and it was beautiful. I wouldn't change it for the world but I would be lying if I said it didn't hurt! My first baby I had an epidural and I couldn't feel a darned thing. I liked my at home unmedicated much better. I dare say it was fun. But it did hurt. What is wrong with saying it hurt? I wouldn't ever try to scare a woman who has never given birth, I always tell them positive things because I do believe that your mind plays a huge role. My labors were the worst pain I have ever felt though. I have gone four days with my arm snapped in half which I had to have surgery to repair with screws, not as painful as labor. I have had kidney stones, not as painful as labor. Labor hurts me, but I love it and wouldn't try to scare anyone with my pain.

[MamaOui]

There should be no "I want to die" type pain in a natural, normal, uninterfered-with labor in a healthy, unfearful mother.

That's quite a generalization. I think I am more in the "every woman, labor, situation is different" camp. So are you actually implying if a woman feels pain that gives her the feeling that she wants to die during labor, she must be fearful?