Marissa was my first baby. She was the only one of my six who was born in the hospital. At the time, I was a very mainstream person who was just starting to realize that there were other options out there. Unfortunately, I didn't figure it out fast enough.

She was perfectly healthy despite the eye ointment which I was told I could not refuse and the Hep B shot, which they had just started giving babies at birth. I questioned a nurse about the shot. She was flabbergasted that I would even think to question it. I can't remember what she said, but I immediately shut up and signed the paperwork.

We took Marissa home and for 3 1/2 months she was perfectly, wonderfully normal. The pediatrician proclaimed her to be very healthy. She slept well at night, nursed well, interacted, babbled, etc. Normal baby. At 3 1/2 months she got her first DTP. That night she got a fever, for which I called the doctor and was told that I should give her alternating doses of Tylenol and Motrin every two hours to keep the fever down. I do not remember how high it was off the top of my head. The fever was gone by the next night and I remember thinking she seemed a little different, a little off. The day after that I was lying next to her in bed and trying to fall asleep when she had a seizure. I had never seen a seizure before and was very confused. I picked up the phone and dialed 911, but as soon as the operator answered, Marissa smiled and cooed at me, so I said never mind and called the ped instead. I brought her in right away and was told she did not have a seizure because she would not have recovered like that. So I took her home where she had another seizure. Then several more as the days went on. We finally got an EEG after several visits to the hospital. It was completely normal. Lots of bloodwork was done~ all normal. Every single test was normal. A CT scan was normal; however, this test was done a month after her initial injury; I think it may have shown the injury had it been done right away.

I asked the doctors if there was any way the shots were causing my daughter's seizures and I was told (quote) "No. That NEVER happens." So like a complete idiot, I continued to follow the recommended vax schedule, with my daughter on Phenobarbital to control the seizures. Her development slowed slightly. I believe this was due to the medicine. She was still within the range of normal. The doctors gave her DTaP to finish up that particular vax series. Obviously they must not have been quite so sure there was no problem with the vaccines, or we would have stayed with the DTP. But that is in hindsight. I had nothing but a feeling of foreboding at the time with absolutely no information to back it up.

At almost 13 months old, Marissa had some words. She said daddy, mama, ba-ba-ba (wanting to nurse), fishy, I hot, among others things. She stood while hanging on to the couch and was starting to cruise along it. She got the MMR at this time. 13 days later she was in my arms seizing uncontrollably. She was taken by ambulance to the ER many times in the next couple weeks. All they would do was up her meds and observe her overnight. At this point she was no longer able to say her words or even sit up, but this was blamed on the medication being pushed higher and higher. We lived in a small town at the time and no one was willing to refer her anywhere else until on our last trip to the ER at that hospital, with my daughter in status (seizures that won't stop) once again, I told the doctor I refused to leave until they sent us somewhere where they knew what they were doing. He refused so I called my father, who drove an hour and a half to explain in his very persuasive manner why they were in fact going to send us somewhere else. We were sent to DeVos Children's, where they immediately admitted her.

Marissa then fell into a pattern of status seizures every fourth day. She had an MRI, artery pokes, more EEGs, etc. Everything said normal. Eventually they gave up and sent us to Detroit Children's. The neuro we found there said to me, when I questioned him about the vaccines, that it was certainly possible. Of course, that was followed by "But vaccines are important". More tests in Detroit. A PET scan that showed she was in fact suffering from subclinical seizures ALL the time. More blood work, a spinal tap; nothing showed anything at all. Except for the film of the MRI we brought with us from Grand Rapids, which our neuro looked at and thought he saw a possible area of injury, but he wasn't sure.

This time was pure hell for my baby. She was a "hard poke" and I was a young mom who didn't know any better. There were several times she was stuck with needles repeatedly for HOURS because they said they simply had to get a line. She screamed and cried for me and all I could do was hold her hand. I started to find my voice in Detroit, though, and before long doctors and nurses were actually listening to me, or pretending to really well.

We finally left with Marissa on three different meds and still having seizures. The rest of her life was spent living with them. I hate them. HATE them. It was like some unseen force grabbed her and contorted her face and body. Just awful. And there were the garden variety partials, too, along with myoclonic seizures added in the mix. She had good periods and bad ones. I had good luck with the ketogenic diet for a while, but then it stopped working. We took her off all meds when her liver started shutting down and the docs were all freaking out (they opposed me stopping the meds, but it worked). At 3 years old she refused to take water orally, so we ended up putting in a g-tube. A year later she refused all oral food. For the previous years, I fed her pureed food by the spoonful, after the g-tube I just pureed it finer and pushed it through her tube.

I had the most success with homeopathy. She had many months without seizures because of it. She would make developmental strides during these periods and then lose them again when the seizures started. They would normally last 1 to 4 months. Every day, all day, and all night much of the time~ not starting out that bad, but working up to that eventually.

Marissa threw up a lot. That was something else that started after the first DPT. It was always cyclical. I never worried about it except when she became dehydrated, at which point we would head to the hospital to get rehydrated. She also had very low iron, but it didn't show up on regular hemoglobin tests, only on a full panel. My belief is that the aluminum in the shots was causing chronic anemia that was extremely difficult to treat. She needed a blood transfusion the year before due to this and I wanted to avoid that. So for those two reasons we were in the hospital when she died. We had no clue it was going to happen. She had been having seizures and throwing up, but she was no where near as sick as she had been many times before. I left at 3am because I was very pregnant and had my 17 month old with me. My dh stayed. He called me at 10am, just as his mother was arriving to watch the kids so I could be with Marissa in the hospital and told me she coded and get there quickly.

I won't belabor that day, because it's not really relevant here. Basically, her brain stem swelled. It happened in her sleep. I missed it. She was dead when I arrived, although her body was being kept alive, which I am grateful for because I got to hold her and love her and say goodbye.

So that's what happened to my Marissa. I MISS her so much. I believe if I would have stopped the shots after those first seizures, or even before getting the MMR she would be here and she would be basically healthy and happy. Instead she had a life full of struggle and heartache and she died at 8 1/2 years old. That should never, never happen. I hope her story can help someone who needs to hear it.

Thanks for reading.

I am so sorry for your heartbreaking loss. (((HUGS)))

I am so, so sorry for your loss. Thank you for sharing your story. :hug

:candle

I can barely type through the tears....I am so sorry for your loss...words just fail me..... Hugs and prayers to you and your family. :Hug

There are just not words in my heart and mind for the loss you and your family have suffered. I am so sorry.

Oh, Jen... :hug :gloomy: :candle

Can I ask your permission to post this elsewhere? I know quite a few mothers who struggle with very similar status seizures in their little ones... :(. They may well be one shot away... if not already there.

:hug

Thank you for having the courage to share your story. I am so terribly sorry to hear it.

Thank you thank you thank you for sharing her story with us. How selfless of you to want others to know these dangers. It is through stories like Marissa's that people learn the truth.

I am so so sorry for your terrible loss........that poor baby, and poor momma.

Oh, Jen... :hug :gloomy: :candle

Can I ask your permission to post this elsewhere? I know quite a few mothers who struggle with very similar status seizures in their little ones... :(. They may well be one shot away... if not already there.

Please do. Post it wherever you want to. If I had access to the internet and stories like this, Marissa's story may have turned out differently. Maybe it will encourage someone to change their mind.

I am sorry for your loss and admire your strength greatly

That must have been very hard to write, although I am sure you relive it every single day. I am so, so sorry for your loss. :hug I hope the strength it took for you to share your story will help another family.

Melissa

I have tears in my eyes as well...I am SOOOO sorry for the loss of your little girl. With your permission I would like to repost this on my myspace page for others to read. :gloomy: :bawl

:hug thank you so much for sharing your story and I hope it helps other parents. I can't even to begin to imagine how much you and your family are suffering because of the loss of your sweet Marissa.

I have tears in my eyes as well...I am SOOOO sorry for the loss of your little girl. With your permission I would like to repost this on my myspace page for others to read. :gloomy: :bawl

You may. Anyone can post it where they feel it's appropriate:)

:Hug

no words

Jen,

You are so courageous for posting your daughter's story. I hope that it spreads like wild fire and prevents some other children from suffering the way she had to suffer. That should never have happened.

:hug to you and your family.

:candle for Marissa

You are such a brave mama. I am so sorry for your loss.

:hug

Thank you for sharing your story. I am heartbroken for what your daughter and your family had to endure.

I would like to re-post as well in the hope that other readers who are on the fence about vaccinations will reconsider.

:hug

I don't have any words either. I'm so sorry that this had to happen to you, your family, and your precious Marissa.

What a darling little girl. I just clicked on her site.


:crying

I am so sorry :Hug

:candle

I am so sorry for your loss and so thankful that you found the strength to tell your story.

Hopefully your courage will help save some lives.

:hug Mama!!

I just want to cry and cry so hard right now. I'm so sorry. and I truly hope someone reads this and decides to never vax again.

:hug Thank you for sharing. I'm sure your story will impact many children for the better. I'm so sorry for everything you've gone through and are going through though. :gloomy:

:hug: i'm so sorry.

This is just so heartbreaking. I cannot even imagine going through something like that.

Marissa was a beautiful girl. I am so very sorry for your loss.

Thank you so much for sharing that with us....it must have taken alot of courage. I'm sorry for all that has happened to your beautiful daughter.

Thank you for sharing your loss with us.

Many hugs, to you and to your family.

:hug :Hug :heartbeat

I am so very sorry for your loss, thank you for sharing your story.

:Hug :candle Thank you so much for sharing. May her life touch countless other's lives. She is beautiful. :hug

:hug :candle

:Hug

Barefoot Mama,

I have wanted to know your story for some time and have hesitated to ask..but now with my friend's own questioning.. I knew I needed to ask. Thank you so much.

I have a few most posts to add but this post is to tell you how much your posting means to me. I have been coming to this forum since 2002 and I have put a lot of time and energy in it...and sometimes I ask myself.. 'why?" "why do I care so much that parents have a bit more information before they just say, "Go ahead, doctor, whatever you say."

And now after reading your post it reminds me why this forum is here and why so many people offer up their truths and experiences... so that there is not one more Mommy who has to experience the same pain you experienced with Marissa. I don't know, Barefoot Mama.. you may be out in front more than you know.... helping mommies sort through all the information.

thank you for sharing.:1praying: for Marissa!

Jen, I've read parts of your story before and I thank you again for sharing it. I'm so sorry for the loss of your beautiful little girl.

As a side note - my DD#2 has eyes like I'd never seen either. Such clear blue with the dark ring. Her reactions were the reason we stopped vax.

I am so sorry for your daughter's suffering and death. I am sorry for all of your suffering too. Thank-you for sharing Marissa's story it just may save someone else your sorrow. ((Hugs)) to you and your family.

:topic


In the event that there are newcomers who happen to see this thread... and have been going along with their doctor's schedule. Please research more...

here is a thread I started awhile ago... it may help.

http://www.mothering.com/discussions/showthread.php?t=57794

pertinent to this thread...
MMR
DPT
This is one of the hardest to find pages at the cdc… the way that I actually found this page was by accident. I had called the CDC to find out about hib cases and I got a doctor and he sent me to this page…

http://www.cdc.gov/mmwr/mmwr_wk.html

if you download the current issue it gives you the most uptodate stat that the cdc has on the reportable diseases by the way, the stats are at the end of the document. Anyway, I would start there first.


But just to give you an idea:
Here are the hard numbers for 2004. This is what I found for the last week of the year..... this is the total amount of cases reported to the CDC for 2004.....

Total reported cases to the cdc:

Disease Cases

Diptheria 0
Measles 37
Mumps 236
Rubella 12
Congenital rubella 0
Tetanus 26
Hib (under 5)
Sero b-16
Non sero b-114
Unknown b-156


Out of a population of 295 million people in the united states!!



and by the way... I am not particularly scared of the childhood diseases... since it is one of the perks of being an older mom (I had DS at 43). I remember childhood diseases and guess what... everyone missed a week of school and watched too much tv and then went back to school. The end.

Thank you again, Barefoot Mama.

So very sorry to read of your daughters death.Beautiful little girl.

Are you going to file for death compensation through NVICP? I have read the stress and cost of the entire process is to difficult for most families to even want to try.Again,very sorry for the loss of your child.

:hug and thank you for posting your story. Your story is even more heartbreaking knowing that the doctors ignored your dd's seizures when she was a baby only 8 years ago -- the late 1990's. The same thing happened to Marge Grant in the 1960's -- for more than thirty years doctors have been ignoring parents who say "do you think the shots had anything to do with this?" This is truly tragic.

Thank you again for sharing. :hug

So very sorry to read of your daughters death.Beautiful little girl.

Are you going to file for death compensation through NVICP? I have read the stress and cost of the entire process is to difficult for most families to even want to try.Again,very sorry for the loss of your child.

We plan on trying. We may not be able to because of the time factor. If we can't, I want to see if we can sue the doctors for giving vaccines that are clearly contraindicated in a child with seizures~ regardless of the cause. Of course, there are many hoops to jump through either way.

Right now I am waiting on a call back from a vax injury lawyer. He is apparently very busy.

Thank you for sharing your heartbreaking story. The death and destruction these vaccines leave in their path never fail to tie my stomach into knots. Like Tracy said, it's babies like yours that keep us tied to the internet sharing our stories and hoping that some babies can be spared the grief and misery.

I am hoping someday those responsible will be held accountable.

Thank you again,

Christine

I am so sorry you and Marissa and your whole family had to go through this.

But thank you for posting it. I have copied and sent it on to two mainstream mamas of young children who would never make it to this forum. We may never know how many babies Marissa's story helps.

Marissa was about the same age as a friend's little boy who is Autistic as far as they can tell from the vaccines. That's the story people think about when they think "dangers of vaccines." Stories like yours need to be in the forefront of our minds when we are told it is "time for Jr.'s shots."

Hang in there. :grouphug

Oh mama, your post meant so much to me! We decided not to vax our youngest child but then I had a 4 month check up the other day and our ped. just really freaked me out. I have been just on the fence with this whole vax issue since then. My Ds is 8 1/2 ( same age Marissa was :gloomy: ) and is fully vaxed, and so far is normal and healthy- so my ped keeps saying that she will be fine also. But something in my gut is not ok with it. I prayed alot this morning about it, asking God to help me with this decision. I think your post is my answer. Thank you!:Hug

I am so so sorry for your loss.
:candle Marissa :candle

:hug :crying Thank you for sharing her story.

I'm very sorry this happened to you. You're in my thoughts... Did they figure out what kind of head injury she had? You mentioned it a couple of times about the MRI and a injury. What was it from?

I am so sorry. Thank you very much for sharing her story. What a precious little girl.

I'm very sorry this happened to you. You're in my thoughts... Did they figure out what kind of head injury she had? You mentioned it a couple of times about the MRI and a injury. What was it from?

The initial injury would have been caused by vaccine induced encephalopathy. The brain swelling that killed her was just her brain having had enough after so many years of seizures.

Oh mama, your post meant so much to me! We decided not to vax our youngest child but then I had a 4 month check up the other day and our ped. just really freaked me out. I have been just on the fence with this whole vax issue since then. My Ds is 8 1/2 ( same age Marissa was :gloomy: ) and is fully vaxed, and so far is normal and healthy- so my ped keeps saying that she will be fine also. But something in my gut is not ok with it. I prayed alot this morning about it, asking God to help me with this decision. I think your post is my answer. Thank you!:Hug

I am SO happy to read this:hug

The initial injury would have been caused by vaccine induced encephalopathy. The brain swelling that killed her was just her brain having had enough after so many years of seizures.

Once again I am just so sorry to hear this. I hope the best for your family.

i dont really have any helpful words, and certainly none that seem worthy of a response to this.

i simply cant imagine.
(((HUGS)))

Oh, mama, what a sad story! This is the kind of story that makes me wonder what people mean when they say they have fully considered the risks and decided to vax. I understand that it is only one story, and maybe some out there comfort themselves with that when they decide to vax, but there is no way to know beforehand whether a child is at risk. To be willing to risk it at all, just because of being scared of missing work and having to do a lot of research in a hurry to care for a child with a disease...well, my mind reels. Your loss is not in vain, you are definitely helping us new mothers, and many mothers-to-be.

Thank you so much for sharing. I know her story will save lives.

Thank you, again, for sharing. It has to be so difficult...my prayers are with you...I simlply cannot imagine. I had a difficult enough time just reading about your precious girl.

Please know that MARISSA'S LIFE will make a difference to many, many people!

:hug

Wow, thank you for sharing. I am sitting here sobbing for you and your family. No one should have to go through that heartache. Thank you for sharing.

:hug

I am so sorry for the loss of your beautiful daughter. I could not read this and not post. You are such a strong momma. And I think this is what I needed to read... My 1st DD is selectively vax'd and DD2 has not gotten any more vaxs since she had some "siezure like activity" last month. Now I know to stop them completely.

Thank you, Thank you for telling your story.
:candle

Jen, thank you for sharing her with us. I am so sorry for your loss. I pray that her story will save many children from vaccine-induced injury and death.

Thank you for having the courage to share her story. It will make a difference!

ellacy

I am so sorry for the loss of your precious daughter.

I am so sorry.

I'm sorry too. You might have just saved the life of another child with your post. Thank you for sharing. May time ease your and your family's pain.

:candle

More thanks for posting your story....the beginning is similar to what happened to my daughter and it only reaffirms my gut instinct of what really happened to her. She too had a seizures and then would laugh afterward (at 11 weeks old), was told by the neurologist it was GERD. I know now it was her 2month shots. It's very hard when the doctors say it couldn't be realted to the vaxes.

:candle

Thank you Jen for sharing your story. I have followed your story over in the UC forum during your last preg. You are one strong and amazing momma, wife, and woman! Never forget that. Sending my best to you and your family this holiday season.
~Lee Ann

:hug Thank you mama, for sharing this story. You'll never know how many lives it might save.

My son is just three days older than your Marissa. He was fully vaxed (if I had only known then ... ) and has Asperger's.

I'm deeply sorry for your loss.

We plan on trying. We may not be able to because of the time factor. If we can't, I want to see if we can sue the doctors for giving vaccines that are clearly contraindicated in a child with seizures~ regardless of the cause. Of course, there are many hoops to jump through either way.

Right now I am waiting on a call back from a vax injury lawyer. He is apparently very busy.

Thank you for sharing your story. :hug

To answer your question regarding the statute of limitations -- for a death, your claim must be filed within two (2) years of the death and 4 years after the start of first symptom of the vaccine-related injury from which the death occurred.

The initial injury would have been caused by vaccine induced encephalopathy. The brain swelling that killed her was just her brain having had enough after so many years of seizures.
I just wanted to mention to the readers that pertussis-containing vaccines and the MMR are most often associated with vaccine-induced encephalitis (with and without permanent brain injury and/or death).

Thank you for sharing your story. :hug

To answer your question regarding the statute of limitations -- for a death, your claim must be filed within two (2) years of the death and 4 years after the start of first symptom of the vaccine-related injury from which the death occurred.

What do you think about the possibility of suing the doctor for giving vaccines that were contraindicated? Or does the VICP protect all doctors in all cases? (wouldn't surprise me:irked: )

....

edited to remove the story of my own daughter, as I do not wish to be a part of Dr. Fleas assinine website.


I am so sorry for your loss.

What do you think about the possibility of suing the doctor for giving vaccines that were contraindicated? Or does the VICP protect all doctors in all cases? (wouldn't surprise me:irked: )

The VICP doesn't protect healthcare providers at all. If the doc acks recklessly, they're on their own. Pharma can do whatever they want though. :irked:

Take a look at this link, particularly "Convulsions" and "Previous Reactions to DTaP" http://www.cdc.gov/nip/recs/contraindications.htm

:hug I am so sorry for your loss.

Thank you for sharing her story.

So sorry for you loss.

:hug

Please do. Post it wherever you want to. If I had access to the internet and stories like this, Marissa's story may have turned out differently. Maybe it will encourage someone to change their mind.


I assume that means I can email this to my friend right? she's just now learning about vaccines and I think she would be really interested in this story. I'm so sorry for your loss. that is heartbreaking. :gloomy:

I assume that means I can email this to my friend right? she's just now learning about vaccines and I think she would be really interested in this story. I'm so sorry for your loss. that is heartbreaking. :gloomy:

Yes you may.

Thank you :hug

I emailed this story, and some concerns about it, to a pediatrician blogger who I've found to be ethical and even-handed. He has posted about it on his blog, Flea. (http://drfleablog.blogspot.com)

Most of the posters here will not agree with what he says, be forewarned.

Thank you for sharing that. This is a story that NEEDS to be told.

I write for another mama site - - if it's okay, I'd like to post your story over there or at least link here to it.

:hug

My dd also has vaccine induced encephalopathy.

:bawl :bawl

And that's how hard I'm crying. Mama, I'm so sorry for all the grief, pain and hardship you've had to go through. Blessings to you, and to Marissa, and to all of your family. I'm so, so sorry this happened.

A similar thing happened to my sister, with her DTP shots, and she's had seizures for years. The doctors diagnosed her with cerebral palsy at 24 months of age, and insisted it was a stable enough nuerological condition to continue on with all vaccines. My parents never questioned.

I've questioned, for years, and Marissa's story is like one more piece of the puzzle. Thank you for sharing it. :hug

I emailed this story, and some concerns about it, to a pediatrician blogger who I've found to be ethical and even-handed. He has posted about it on his blog, Flea. (http://drfleablog.blogspot.com)

Most of the posters here will not agree with what he says, be forewarned.


Well, that's what happens when you ask a doctor's opinion:irked: . Would anyone expect him to say anything different? Seriously. He's been brainwashed. How can he be "even-handed"?

I guess I hadn't fully prepared myself to hear all the sh*t that people would say about this. I kinda just thought it would out there for people to read and I wasn't anticipating getting torn apart over my child's death.

This is what happens when you tell the truth.

Nevermind that what happened to Marissa is written on the package inserts as a "side effect" of the shots.

Whatever. Screw "Dr Flea".

May I change what I said earlier to this may be reposted elswhere, but it is not up for debate, it is to read only.

Well, that's what happens when you ask a doctor's opinion:irked: . Would anyone expect him to say anything different? Seriously. He's been brainwashed. How can he be "even-handed"?

I guess I hadn't fully prepared myself to hear all the sh*t that people would say about this. I kinda just thought it would out there for people to read and I wasn't anticipating getting torn apart over my child's death.

This is what happens when you tell the truth.

Nevermind that what happened to Marissa is written on the package inserts as a "side effect" of the shots.

Whatever. Screw "Dr Flea".
That's right. F him.

And what's important to remember is that *we* know the truth and if we can help only ONE other mama to see it too, we've done a great thing.

Ignore the rest. They're too stupid to be involved in any way.

May I also add that I do not appreciate the "doctor" tearing me apart simply because I practice and believe in alternative medicine? In my mind, that gives him even less credibility.

Can you tell I'm just a little :angry :irked: ?

You will all have to forgive me

May I also add that I do not appreciate the "doctor" tearing me apart simply because I practice and believe in alternative medicine? In my mind, that gives him even less credibility.

Can you tell I'm just a little :angry :irked: ?

You will all have to forgive me

No need to apologize! I'm really :angry too. In fact, my heart rate is up and so I'm going to walk away for a while and come back later.

And I know I'm not the only one. . .

OK, I know I'm being a PITA, but is the story not clear? Flea seems to think Marissa's brain swelled during an "uncontrolled seizure". I thought
I was clear that she died in her sleep?

Was it also not clear that she did not seize during fevers? He seems to blame the fever, which never existed during 98% of her seizures, and not with the first one.

Hey~ this is good practice for dealing with umm........uninformed people when I sue them!

I'm over my anger (well, that experience of it anyway) and now I am going to say that I do not care what this person thinks or says. People like this want me to shut up in case someone actually listens.

And may I say that he has very appropriately named himself, if you think about fleas:lol
(trying not to violate the UA)

Alright, I'm done now.

Thank you so much for sharing your story and Marissa's life with us. :crying It is such a great help to me. :hug

Julia

Ok, I just saw the Flea thing, and I am soooo mad! :hopmad Why would you send the story to someone who is likely to tear it apart, and then provide the link? What purpose does that serve? If you notice from the comments, a fellow doctor or two actually disagrees with his take on it, too.

It would be one thing to provide the facts anonymously to serve individual curiousity for a "second" opinion, but to purposely give the parent's information and source so the blogger can criticize her "crazy homebirthing" ways (not a direct quote) and other personal choices in an attempt to discredit her is just beyond me.

I think that was clearly beyond the intent of the OP's willingness to share Marissa's story.

Ok, I just saw the Flea thing, and I am soooo mad! :hopmad Why would you send the story to someone who is likely to tear it apart, and then provide the link? What purpose does that serve?

Originally, I did not send Dr. Flea a link to Marissa's story. Instead, I recapped the story as a hypothetical situation (no names used or links provided), and asked him a medical question. I wanted the opinion of an ethical pediatrician as to whether Marissa's case sounded like a medical syndrome I had heard of--unrelated to vaccines. I was concerned for other reasons. He emailed me back asking if I was referring to the "Lavendar Essence" blog, and to Marissa's story.

Dr. Flea is a good pediatrician. He's very active in decreasing routine antibiotic use for ear infections, and against the general medicalizing of childhood. His blog is interesting and informative.

This is a difficult situation. Marissa's story has been made public--both here, and on barefoot mama's blog. This may invite comments that are not as supportive as those that would be made by family and friends. However, a choice was made to put the story out there. For my part, I (a stranger) read the story, had a (non-vaccine-related) concern, and asked a doctor a question. He apparently followed up, found the information posted online, and wrote his own opinion on his blog. Nothing wrong has been done here. No provacy has been violated.

I offered a link to Dr. Flea's blog to allow those vacillating on the vaccine issue to see another side. I also felt that barefoot mama should know that the story had gone a bit more public than she might be aware of.

Barefoot mama, I am again very sorry for your loss and send good wishes for the health and safety of all of your other children.

All in all, this particular public forum should be a place for Jen to receive the support she needs. I can only imagine her grief - and receiving negativity in any form was, I'm sure, not expected, so is probably a double punch in the stomach... More hugs to you, Jen. Really. I hope you know you have our support.

I used to have a thread up for a long time and then in our many switches to new servers.. the thread didn't make it to the new server.

Anyway, on that thread I discussed a friend of mine from where I used to work. He had a daughter who had exactly what happened to Jen's daugther happened to her. It was after the DPT.

She has the mind of a 1 year old. She is now.. lets see, she is now 8.
Every doctor who saw her at the hospital indicated it was due to the shot. However, the reaction happened something like day 35 after the shot.
My friend was told that he could try to sue the pharms since it was a clear reaction but it would be hard because they are protected after 30 days. He did not have the energy. So, here they are with an 8 year old girl who has the mind of an 1 year old.
Who is going to take care of their daughter when they die?
Who is going to be there for her?
How is he going to find the funds to take care of her?


And on the same note.... there is a mommy at my sons' school who also has a 9 year old. She started having seizures after her shot. I think it was DPT although it may have been the MMR. Her daughter has severe issues. She can barely walk.. she will always need help. They too did not have the energy to sue.. it can be very difficult on a family.


and how many cases of diptheria were there last year?
and how effective is the pertussis shot?
and really, how many cases of Tetanus are there especially intersting since most people in the united states are not current on their tetanus shots.

And measles..mumps and rubella...these are childhood diseases and when I was a child we had them. And we missed a week of school. The end.

The hype out there in the world and of course Dr. Fleas and his group.. sigh... well, if you are reading this thread and you are new to the discussion..please research this stuff before you say yes.
And just because you like your doctor does not mean he is all knowing.

talk to Jen, talk to my co-worker friend, talk to the mom at my son's school.

And if you must know.. talk to those people who lost their children to SIDS I strongly believe they are all victims of vaccines....
there used to be a thread here which discussed it..but it was closed because of some unfortunate posters. sigh.

also.... there is a money component...this link will help explain:

http://www.mothering.com/discussions/showthread.php?t=111257


Jenn's story will not be forgotten.

I wanted the opinion of an ethical pediatrician as to whether Marissa's case sounded like a medical syndrome I had heard of--unrelated to vaccines.

You asked for an opinion from a doctor who says this:

"There is no credible evidence that vaccines cause any negative neurodevelopmental outcome whatsoever."


. . . and he links up "Autism Diva." :shake

His website screams: By creating and maintaining this website, I subconsciously need to make myself feel better for literally shooting up thousands of children into autism and other conditions.

Why would you even bring this idiot into this thread?

Dr. Flea is a good pediatrician. He's very active in decreasing routine antibiotic use for ear infections, and against the general medicalizing of childhood. His blog is interesting and informative.

That he is a "good pediatrician" is your opinion. I know lots of people who are against the routine administration of abx, but that doesn't mean they know jack squat about vaccines. Anyone who states, "There is no credible evidence that vaccines cause any negative neurodevelopmental outcome whatsoever," is living in fantasyland at best and purposefully misleading others at worst. Either way, anyone who says that is certainly not trustworthy and certainly not a "good" doctor.

I offered a link to Dr. Flea's blog to allow those vacillating on the vaccine issue to see another side. I also felt that barefoot mama should know that the story had gone a bit more public than she might be aware of.

You should've done that on a different thread, then. How thoughtless, heartless and insensitive to post a link to THAT on a thread like this. That is inexcusable. Hopefully you usually exhibit more concern for others' feelings than you have shown here.

The only "good pediatrician" is the one who stays 10 miles away from my family. In my opinion, "good pediatrician" is an oxymoron.

To say, "There is no credible evidence that vaccines cause any negative neurodevelopmental outcome whatsoever," is as far as I needed to go with this "ethical" doctor.

All those years of medical school, thousands of hours of being told what to know and what to see, and all he can come up with are ad hominem attacks and simple-minded opinions. Not very impressive.

Marissa, first let me say I'd read your story, but had not replied to this thread as it upset me greatly, because when I read your story, all the others before,.. the parents who have come to me, and the cases I've fought and won, and fought and lost, flood back. So one case, isn't one case to me, its another marble on the mountain IFKWIM.


I emailed this story, and some concerns about it, to a pediatrician blogger who I've found to be ethical and even-handed. He has posted about it on his blog, Flea. (http://drfleablog.blogspot.com)

Most of the posters here will not agree with what he says, be forewarned.

Individuation, I'm glad you did this, but not for the reasons you state.

Originally, I did not send Dr. Flea a link to Marissa's story. Instead, I recapped the story as a hypothetical situation (no names used or links provided), and asked him a medical question. I wanted the opinion of an ethical pediatrician as to whether Marissa's case sounded like a medical syndrome I had heard of--unrelated to vaccines. So why didn't you come back here, and ask your questions first? I'm amazed that you couldn't do that, but felt the "need" to scuttle elsewhere for reassurance :nut I was concerned for other reasons. He emailed me back asking if I was referring to the "Lavendar Essence" blog, and to Marissa's story.

Dr. Flea is a good pediatrician. So concerned that you didn't take it up with Marissa's mother first. Right then.

Don't all paediatricians consider themselves "good" and doesn't every paediatrician have devotees who would say they are the greatest? I mean, I'm sure paediatrician Offit has more parents and paediatricians wanting to tie his shoelaces than anyone else around. Does that mean that he's actually a good paediatrician, who would respect any views held by those here who don't vaccnate?

He's very active in decreasing routine antibiotic use for ear infections, and against the general medicalizing of childhood. His blog is interesting and informative. :yawn So is quackwatch, and other anti-antivaccine sites. I go there just for a laugh sometimes. Until I remember that these otherwise ordinary people, who've suddently become morons on one topic, really believe themselves.

This is a difficult situation.

Please define "This". And also state why its difficult. DO you mean it was difficult for you to hear/swallow/read and you found the story to be fraudulent, biased, and myopic? Exactly how is this a difficult situation, other than the fact its not something you want to make an effort to understand?

Marissa's story has been made public--both here, and on barefoot mama's blog. This may invite comments that are not as supportive as those that would be made by family and friends. However, a choice was made to put the story out there. For my part, I (a stranger) read the story, had a (non-vaccine-related) concern, and asked a doctor a question. He apparently followed up, found the information posted online, and wrote his own opinion on his blog. Nothing wrong has been done here. No provacy has been violated. Of course not.

The fact that you feel the need to justify your actions so comprehensively is fascinating.

I offered a link to Dr. Flea's blog to allow those vacillating on the vaccine issue to see another side.And of course, because you are provaccine, no doubt you feel that Dr Flea's story to be the more persuasive even though he appears to be too stupid to read accurately, and described stuff that didn't happen?

I also felt that barefoot mama should know that the story had gone a bit more public than she might be aware of.correction.....

:hyena

Barefoot mama, I am again very sorry for your loss and send good wishes for the health and safety of all of your other children.Somehow that doesn't quite read the way I'd like it to...


Now, Marissa. You are the more important one here. Individuation's honourable altruism has done you a good turn.

May I also add that I do not appreciate the "doctor" tearing me apart simply because I practice and believe in alternative medicine? In my mind, that gives him even less credibility.But it also gives you a good benchmark. You can easily judge a paediatricians worth, because the minute they come up with crap like that, you know that because they feel inadequate to disprove the story, they will shoot the messenger. Which should warn any parent never to go to that doctor, unless they have no option.

Can you tell I'm just a little :angry :irked: ?

You will all have to forgive meNo need. Having done more cases in my life than perspiration above, I've met so many paediatricians who behave like this, that I know them well. They deserve all the reprimands they will attract.

OK, I know I'm being a PITA, but is the story not clear? Flea seems to think Marissa's brain swelled during an "uncontrolled seizure". I thought I was clear that she died in her sleep? It's really simple. Paediatricians do this all the time. Both in written specialist reports and in the doc. And if you go for that case, you should get Dr Flea in the dock and get your lawyer to run over him. If he has any trouble, I'll give him a hand. :D

Was it also not clear that she did not seize during fevers? He seems to blame the fever, which never existed during 98% of her seizures, and not with the first one.Now here's a good lesson for you. I've NEVER met a doctor who gets things right, by listening, or even reading.

I've had situations where I've typed things up, and given it to them, written, on a plate, and they still get it wrong. But at least if you give it to them in writing, and they stuff up, you simply put the bit of paper in your left hand, your right hand behind their head, and rub their faces in it. (actually, just do it metaphorically, but you know what I mean) They get really really embarrassed. Better still do it in court. And if its a jury trial, you can just about guarantee that within a year, they won't be in practice, because the jury, and public gallery will let everyone know that X paediatrician can't read, and therefore can't be trusted.

But unfortunately, this is another reason why the NVIC act was enacted. It is a closed court, and unfortunately, the chances for doctors to be shown up this way are now extremely limited. But then, the NVIC act wasn't about getting justice for parents. It was about protecting the manufacturers and doctors from accountability for lousy vaccines, and just such 'assessment' mistakes as these.

Hey~ this is good practice for dealing with umm........uninformed people when I sue them!Yes, it is, and that's why I'm glad that miss uninspired up there took her concerns to such an eminent mistakologist.

I'm over my anger (well, that experience of it anyway) and now I am going to say that I do not care what this person thinks or says. People like this want me to shut up in case someone actually listens. You will feel this anger many times, before you get to the end of this road. Dr Flea won't be the last person to pontificate, elucidate, and wear halos on the establishment's behalf. So gird your loins, because one of the reasons that many parents stop legal action is when the fleas of this world get on top of them emotionally, and wear them down. At the same time, you have to pace yourself, so that you just flick the fleas off.

And may I say that he has very appropriately named himself, if you think about fleas:lol
(trying not to violate the UA)

Alright, I'm done now.I'm sure you will find a lot more inventive nick-names or acronyms before your journey is finished. :D

I could write a book about some of the stuff that happened in cases... well, actually I couldn't. Because the vaccine world, and that of the USA is so litigious, there isn't a word of it that wouldn't attract action by someone, because while its okay to write fiction, the truth is what really hurts.

The only way you could do it, is write fiction and then everyone would go : wipes sweat Isn't it great that's only fiction :rolleyes

On a much more cheerful note...

A mama who was "concerned" about vaccines read Marissa's story through my post (thank you Barefootmama). She e-mailed me with vaccine questions and I gace her some basic info and sent her here.

She is now a member here and has decided to at least delay until she has had time to research this whole issue.

Marissa's story has done some good. One (that I know of) has heard and listened. May many more follow!!

I hope this helps give you some solace Barefootmama...

Anyone who states, "There is no credible evidence that vaccines cause any negative neurodevelopmental outcome whatsoever," is living in fantasyland at best and purposefully misleading others at worst. Either way, anyone who says that is certainly not trustworthy and certainly not a "good" doctor. Let us be charitable shall we?

Anyone who says that there is no credible evidence... etc... is basically saying that a whole swathe of their own medical literature is a load of bollocks. :D. Of course, you could argue then... what does that say about the rest of their medical literature?

Quite right too. If medical knowledge only has a half life of 5 years, the question isn't which half is wrong. The question is, "What is the worth of the majority of it?"

You should've done that on a different thread, then. How thoughtless, heartless and insensitive to post a link to THAT on a thread like this. That is inexcusable. Hopefully you usually exhibit more concern for others' feelings than you have shown here. Oh no, I disagree :D. I love it when people do this.

It's almost as educative as when loons swim into the lake.

You asked for an opinion from a doctor who says this:

"There is no credible evidence that vaccines cause any negative neurodevelopmental outcome whatsoever."


. . . and he links up "Autism Diva." :shakeYes, well, I've had plenty of experience with her on BMJ. Naturally, she just doesn't get it. After all, how can someone who is autistic possibly articulate the difference between someone who is not autistic and herself? How can she possibly articulate what it is she has missed when she's never experienced it?

And the funniest thing is to "watch" her talking with people who once were autistic, and are now NOT autistic, and how she still considers herself the only authority. She cannot listen to people who've been both, since to her that concept is impossible. Only those stuck in impossibility, cannot conceive any alternative. Why Dr Flea cannot see that, is obvious. It suits him to defer to someone who cannot possibly be an authority on non-autism but who thinks she is. The irony is luscious. But its only a concept that an ex-autistic non-autistic would ever be able to understand, since recovered autistics know what she is missing, and she doesn't and can't.

His website screams: By creating and maintaining this website, I subconsciously need to make myself feel better for literally shooting up thousands of children into autism and other conditions.

Why would you even bring this idiot into this thread?Hey.... its great Long Island. One more doctor for the blacklist. :D.

Look at the positives of it. A whole lot of people now know one more doctor to avoid like the plague. :lol

MT~ thank you SO very much for your thoughtful reply. You remind me once again how important it is to make my voice heard regardless of the fact that they would rather I did not draw attention to the potential side effects of vaccines.

Yours is a post I will read again and again.

I am so happy to read that there are several mamas who are further investigating after hearing Marissa's story. Quite honestly, I would rather have my child than the ability to help others in this way, but the past can not be undone and I will do the best I can with the situation I have. I'm sure Marissa would want me to share her story.

I'm sorry for your loss. I was in tears reading your story.

Dealing with people like "Dr. Flea" will make your voice stronger, mama. Thank you for sharing Marissa's story.

MT. You are a treasure.

Shame on any Dr. out there who would treat a mother like this after the death of a child. Yes. Vaccine injury does not discriminate- don't you think what happens is that women who are willing to " ask questions" tend to be women who are willing to ASK questions and do things against the mainstream? That is why it is so easy to "discredit us" we are the "bitches and lunatics" Who have babies at home and all sorts of other crazy things?

Marissa's story is making a change. People will read it. First hand stories are what made me think twice about vaccinating. They are what keeps me sustained in my decision also to NOT VACCINATE.
If mothers were not telling their children's stories we would not be here at all NOT vaxxing.

Hugs mama. You are strong. We are here to support you.

I am so sorry for your loss. Thank you for sharing your story. I am sure your story has saved many babies...many people lurk and never post.

I am sure your story has made people consider researching vaccines. Once people start researching they will not vaccinate or at the very least delay.

My prayers are with you.

I just wanted to add, my son also started having siezures almost immediately after his first DTP. With each one they got slightly worse. Now, in his case, his first siezures were febrile siezures. However, they were complex febrile siezures, which are not nearly as common as simple siezures. By the time he was 6 months old, even a very slight elevation in his temp would cause a siezure (not even a fever, just simply anything above normal). By his 2nd birthday he was having regular siezures and was diagnosed with epilepsy. His EEG is abnormal. He has to be on siezure medication for the rest of his life.
Anyone who says that vaccines never cause neurological problems is full of poo.

Thank you so much for your heart breakimg story. You have made my mind up about the vax issue in my mind. Thank you, you are so strong.
"Blessed be the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of tender mercies and the God of all comfort, who comforts us in all our tribulation, that we may be able to comfort those in any sort of tribulation through the comfort with which we ourselves are being comforted by God."- 2 Corinthians 1: 3,4
Someone read that to me when I needed comfort, and now I pass it along to your family.
God does not "take" children from their parents, as some have been told. All of us have inherited sin; we are all imperfect. We were born into a system in which everyone- both the good and the bad- eventually dies. (Eccleasties 9:5; Genisis 8:21; Psalm 51:5) But God 'yearns' to reunite children with their parents by means of the resurection, and lovingly has made provision to do so. -John 5:28; Job 14:4, 14, 15; compare Jeremiah 31:15, 16; Mark 5:40-42
Much love and peace to your family.

Jen, I am so sorry that the flea added to your load. The thing is he is not very credible. It was very wrong for the pp to link your story to the flea to pick apart across cyberspace without ever seeing your child. Of course some people cannot accept the word of a parent because how can we know our child?:dizzy: I am very honored that you have felt the need to share your story and perhaps spare another child. Hang in there girl. I think of you often.

Marissa, I see another total moron who also can't read, posted on your blog. Make a collection of them, and use them on the dart board :D :D.

You will get a heap more of those in times to come, because no doubt, Flea will let all his mates know, including quackwatch etc, and you watch them all climb out their closed minds and show their true colours.

:grouphug

Well, I guess my dd's story has made quite an impact! It certainly seems to be ruffling the feathers of the on-line medical community. Oh my! What would happen if people started to question their doctors! Let's squash this ASAP!

Personally, I don't think I would trust any child left alone w/this "flea".

As for the attacks, make like a duck and let them roll of your back. Mother's instinct for me has always overruled and hasn't failed me yet.

Well, I guess my dd's story has made quite an impact! It certainly seems to be ruffling the feathers of the on-line medical community. Oh my! What would happen if people started to question their doctors! Let's squash this ASAP!


Their guilt is so apparent. they can't fathom the idea that their beloved vax schedule and doctor could possibly be wrong. and when you suggest what you suggest, barefoot they have to attack.

I have seen this before...there is one mom out there with a particulary lame board where she defends vax so much (she has a child with autism) that it is clearly 'thou protest too much."

sigh.

i feel badly for their children.

Hugs mama.

Thank you so much for sharing, you have my thoughts and prayers for peace, I also hope and pray you having the courage to share your story will save even one precious baby.. I know it will

Laura

I know know deep down in my heart that if we had vaxed our already autistic son that he would be currently keeping your beautiful angel company in heaven,,, sharing your tragedy HELPS others.. God Bless you

Reading your story I am now in tears. I don't have any words for how much this breaks my heart. Bless you and your angel baby. Thank you so very much for sharing. :Hug :hug :candle

:hug Hugs to you Jen. Thank you for sharing your story. It helps cement my decision to non-vax my ds and never letting my dd get another vax. I'm thankful she survived the ones she got before I knew.

I'm in MI and hs too. Are you anywhere on the lakeshore (Holland-Ludington)? It would be nice to know somebody irl that was hsing and anti-vax. Most of my friends are pretty mainstream...

Jen, Marissa's story made me cry and cry... I am printing it out for my (pro-vax) DH. It's easy for people to trust vaccines until they're confronted with the heartache and overwhelming loss left in the needle's wake. Maybe Marissa's story will help him understand why I stopped vaxing DS.

I said a prayer for your little girl today. Hugs to you,

Jen, Marissa's story made me cry and cry... I am printing it out for my (pro-vax) DH. It's easy for people to trust vaccines until they're confronted with the heartache and overwhelming loss left in the needle's wake. Maybe Marissa's story will help him understand why I stopped vaxing DS.

I said a prayer for your little girl today. Hugs to you,

:truedat:

wow, my (autistic, thimerosal ,Rhogam only ,poisoned) son has teh same eyes as your angel.. I have seen those gorgeous clear blue eyes with teh dark ring SOOOO many times in ASD kids.. we need a poll on this one.. how many vaccine damaged or autistic or ASD kids have "those" eyes... it might help keep a parent from vaxing if htey KNOW they are at higher risk of a really big bad ugly reaction (as opposed to the regular bad reaction..) if they have those eyes.. hey, anything to help tip the scales against.. is good, right? (certainly NOT to say that other eye color means vax are Ok... geez, I am tired I hope I am making sense) It just really struck me and I think someone else posted it too..

bump

:hug :candle

wow, my (autistic, thimerosal ,Rhogam only ,poisoned) son has teh same eyes as your angel.. I have seen those gorgeous clear blue eyes with teh dark ring SOOOO many times in ASD kids.. we need a poll on this one.. how many vaccine damaged or autistic or ASD kids have "those" eyes... it might help keep a parent from vaxing if htey KNOW they are at higher risk of a really big bad ugly reaction (as opposed to the regular bad reaction..) if they have those eyes.. hey, anything to help tip the scales against.. is good, right? (certainly NOT to say that other eye color means vax are Ok... geez, I am tired I hope I am making sense) It just really struck me and I think someone else posted it too..
That is interesting about the eyes. And Marissa's eyes are beautiful!

DD2 has the same clear eyes w/the dark ring. Don't know if you can tell from her pic as I fixed the red eye in that one.

We should do a poll. I'd be interested to see how many.

I'd be interested to see that poll, too. Although I think of it more on a spiritual level than a physical one. I won't go into that because this has been linked all over the place and who knows who's reading.

Oh my~ Annikate~ just looked at your babies. Beautiful! And there are those eyes...........

I'd be interested to see that poll, too. Although I think of it more on a spiritual level than a physical one. I won't go into that because this has been linked all over the place and who knows who's reading.
I think of it that way too & I think I know just what you mean.

Sadly those people who are coming here from other places are often misguided.

They think we all believe 3 shots from the grassy knoll mean more than Lee Harvey Oswald, bombs blew up the world trade center not planes and the government has an alien body in a refrigerator in a Kansas airforce base.


No, we just don't put all our faith into pharmeceutical companies. It is not more complicated than that, folks. sorry to disappoint.

No, we just don't put all our faith into pharmeceutical companies. It is not more complicated than that, folks. sorry to disappoint.

Nope, it isn't more complicated than that.

Except that it isn't just a matter of faith; it's a matter of knowledge, skepticism, research, critical thinking, and a willingness to go against the grain. I see that a lot of vaxers throw "believe" around, as if it were a question of pulling something out of the ether. The only faith issue, in my mind, is in oneself and in the human body to fight for itself if giving the right tools. I see the faith issue on the opposing side as faith in the medical/pharmaceutical community to know everything there is to know, objectively analyze the data (even if it goes against their dearly held assumptions), be able to pre-emptively strike at the human body with toxins and anticipate all of the possible repercussions, and generally hold some stranger's child's best interest at heart at potential risk to their own careers. Barefoot Mama, I have faith in your fight, and I wish you peace and emotional endurance.

Except that it isn't just a matter of faith; it's a matter of knowledge, skepticism, research, critical thinking, and a willingness to go against the grain. I see that a lot of vaxers throw "believe" around, as if it were a question of pulling something out of the ether. The only faith issue, in my mind, is in oneself and in the human body to fight for itself if giving the right tools. I see the faith issue on the opposing side as faith in the medical/pharmaceutical community to know everything there is to know, objectively analyze the data (even if it goes against their dearly held assumptions), be able to pre-emptively strike at the human body with toxins and anticipate all of the possible repercussions, and generally hold some stranger's child's best interest at heart at potential risk to their own careers. Barefoot Mama, I have faith in your fight, and I wish you peace and emotional endurance.

You are correct, Wallacemum. much more to the point. :wink

Dear barefoot mama, I just read your post for the first time -- and I'm sitting here typing with tears running down my face. I am deeply sorry for the loss of your sweet Marissa. I am devestated for you. I wish you peace in this journey you struggle with. Thank you for sharing your story of your swet angel baby -- it will, with no doubt, help others realize the potential dangers of vaccinations.

Were you able to get on the VAERS or VICP?

I reported to VAERS several years ago. No doctor ever made a report.

The VICP is exceedingly difficult to deal with, apparently. Working on that possibility, however unlikely.

Thank you:hug

Thank you for sharing your story. It must have been heartbreaking to even type it. My prayers are with you and your sweet young daughter who did not deserve what life dealt her.

Many, many, hugs to you and your family.

bump.

I'm so sorry for you and your family. :hug

lizzie

barefoot mama,

I am thinking of you this christmas. I know it is your first christmas without Marissa. sending you so many hugs today.

:hug:love

Oh, Jen. I cannot imagine how hard that was for you to post. Even harder to imagine, is what you and your DH have gone through and are still suffering with. I have often wondered about the story behind your beautiful Marissa who you obviously love so much. I also have prayed for you many times (I hope you are not offended). Just a simple prayer to ease some of your grief.

Please accept my :hugs and love to you and your family on this bittersweet day. And thank you for posting Marissa's story. Her life is honored through your sharing.

Pam

I'm so sorry for your heartbreaking loss.

My oldest son also had seisures after his 3rd set of vaccinations. Even after spending a week in the PICU public health wanted me to continue his vaccinations but I refused.

I wish there was more information on how prevalent these problems are. It's heartbreaking.

This story truly touched me!

I am very sorry for your loss.

I am going to be TTC in a few months and this may have just told me no to vax.

*HUGS*!!

Erika Leigh

:hug:love

Every time I see your siggy with your daughter's wings, it gives me more resolve to not vax. So your Marissa has had a big part in opening my eyes. Just wanted to let you know that.

Jen,
thank you for taking the time to write out Marissa's story. A few months back I had seen your siggy, and did the math in my head that your daughter was a young girl when she passed on, not a baby...when that realization hit me, wow, vax's kill young children too, not just dangerous for babies?...is when i began my research. (not sure why it seemed "worse" to me at the time for an 8 year oold to have died and not a baby...just an initial reaction i guess?) i wanted to tell you that it is simply because of your siggy that dh and i have decided to question vax's at all and have stoppped all vaccines beyond administered to our children until we can do all the research we want to be confidently satisfied. thank you for that. my children thank you for that too. :wink

(((hugs))) to you and your family

...i am also reposting your story on my blog to get awareness out.

Thank you for sharing your story, hopefully it will help some question the medical comunnity.
May God Bless you

:hug s Thanks so much for sharing and enlightening, I am sure countless people, to the risks of childhood vaccines. I am so sorry for your family missing your sweet daughter.

Take care,
Tara

:hug I'm so sorry. I cannot imagine your pain :(

:candle Marissa
Mama, thank you for sharing that terrible story, I have no doubt that Marissa's experience will help alter the course of many others'.

I wish you strength.

bump

thank you so much for opening up to all of us. I'm so sorry for your family; you are a brave momma.... I hope this will open up others' eyes.

many blessings ~

I can't just read this and not post. I am truly sorry for your loss and what you and your sweet daughter went through.

Everyone should be made to read this story to counter balance the doctor's advice to vaccinate. Everyone.

Marie

Big (((HUGS))) Thank you so much for posting this & making others aware

I'm very sorry about your loss. I can't even imagine.

I can't just read this and not post. I am truly sorry for your loss and what you and your sweet daughter went through.

Everyone should be made to read this story to counter balance the doctor's advice to vaccinate. Everyone.

Marie


agreed!

Can we somehow keep this thread at the top for all to always see?? barefoot mama, have you thought about adding a link to this thread in your signature so when you visit other parts of MDC other curious members who don't normally come here can hear Marissa's story?

I am so sorry for your loss. You are a very brave mother and I thank you for posting your heartbreaking story for us all to learn from. :Hug

I am so sorry for your loss. This story sound similar to what a friend of mine went through and it's just heartbreaking that it has to happen to anyone.

I have seen Marissa's name in your sig but never knew the story of her tragic death. Thank you for telling it. Peace to your family :candle

Im so sorry for your loss. And because of stories like yours I will never vaccinate my children. Thank you for sharing!

Can we somehow keep this thread at the top for all to always see?? barefoot mama, have you thought about adding a link to this thread in your signature so when you visit other parts of MDC other curious members who don't normally come here can hear Marissa's story?

I can add it to my sig. I will work on that tomorrow

Thank you for the support and compassion, mamas. :hug

i am so sorry for your loss. my thoughts are with your entire family. even though my kiddos were vaxed a few years ago (and before i knew better), they had no adverse reactions. i probably would not have them vaxed now. thanks for your story. my thoughts go out to you, your dh, and your children for strength during this time of grief.

Jen, thank you so much for sharing your heartbreaking story. I am so incredibly sorry for your loss and she is beautiful.

I had already begun to question vaccines and this has only propelled me to do further research. My husband is no supportive of no-vax, but is open to delayed & selective vax. I'm sure that as I research further I can help show him that despite what Doctors say, vaccines are not the saviors of western civilization.

Thank you so much again. Your family is in my prayers.

~Randi

I just read your story and my heart goes out to you and your family. I cannot begin to understand what you have gone through, but I can offer my sympathy and let you know that telling your story and your daughter's continues to strenghten our resolve not to vaccinate our 19 month old daughter (she has had no vacciantions).

Thank you and I wish you peace.

:candle

I can't imagane your loss. I hope you get soem peace in shareing your story and know that you haved saved at least one little ones life.

:candle

May your little girl always be remembered.

:Hug

What a sad sad story. I am so so so so sorry for your loss!

Thank you for sharing your story. Like many others, I'm typing through tears. This has to make anybody (even pro-vaxxers) wonder, why does this happen to some children and how do we know which children they are? This part gave me the chills,

The neuro we found there said to me, when I questioned him about the vaccines, that it was certainly possible. Of course, that was followed by "But vaccines are important".

im so sorry:(
im in tears, i cant imagine your pain

i just happened to stumble across this, but i was researching vaxes today and was on the fence about if i should (delayed) vax my daughter at all, well now i know

Wow I am so sorry for your loss, but thank you for sharing your story.

I'm so sorry for your loss. Thank you for sharing her story with us. :bawl

i'm crying. that's SO sad! i'm not vaccinating my children. i was so torn as to what my decision should be and felt i needed to defend myself with the no-vax route. well...forget that. my gut feeling is all i need for an answer. thanks so much for sharing your story.

I remember when Marissa died, but didn't realize the connection to the vaccines. Thank you so much for telling us about it.

We've been hurt by medical "treatment" too, and it was bad enough, I still wake up in the middle of the night with anxiety attacks over it, but it was nowhere near what your family has suffered. I'm in tears right now. I'm just so sorry.

Oh mama :( I am so so sorry for your family and your darling girl :(

Wow, that is a truely heart renching story... I don't know what to say, except your story has helped to solidify my belief that my soon-to-be son does not need any of these vaccines - and especialy not MMR/DTaP. I had/have a 'seizure disorder', having spent 10 days in coma at age 6 due to a status seizure that lasted for a couple of days... Nothing since then. The only thing I know about vaccines is that *MY* old neuro didn't want me getting MMR - and he's about as standard pro-everything doctor (don't know how else to put it) as they come. So, he obviously knew something about that vaccine.

Thank you again mamas (and dads, too). Knowing that Marissa has touched people in such an important way means so much to me. :hug

Every once in a while the "what ifs" get to me and I start to question my decision not to vax. And then I read a story like this and come to my senses.

Even if one of my children were to somehow contract one of those rare, horrible diseases, I can't imagine it being any worse than this. This is truly awful and I'm so, so sorry you and your family had to go through it.:hug The best comfort I can possibly offer is that your darling daughter didn't suffer for nothing. By telling her story, you are helping others avoid a similar tragedy for their children.
:candle:*pangel

:Hug to you mama. So sorry for your loss.

I am so, so sorry for your loss. Thank you for sharing your story.:hug :hug

Your sweet daughter. :candle She was the same age as mine. When I was pregnant back in 1997 I never realized how difficult the whole issue of vaccines would become. It must be so painful for you to remember. Know from your willingness to share this story, many of us will remember Marissa now and be inspired to keep questioning the mainstream position on vaccines. This is especially important in light of the efforts to push Gardasil on young girls-- the age Marissa would be coming up on.
how ANGRY it makes me to read that part of the push is that the manufacturer is trying to profit from this vaccine before a competing one comes out from a different drug company in the next year.
Marissa's story will not be forgotten as I follow this issue. Thank you on behalf of my own daughter.

Dear Jen
The past few days have been a rollercoaster on this website. I'm happy to of met you. Such brave well spoken mothers contributing helpfull information via the tragic events of their childrens suffering.
Yes i have been a witness to this horrific event aswell (my brothers baby,seizures immed after vaccines) As i told you already jen.
This story needs to spread it's wings and cover the planet in honor of marrisa. A warning and wake up call to all new mothers out there.

I did see your post regards a lawyer; here is a link that might help A firm that deals with vaccine adverse effects. www.vaccineexemption.org
also www.909shot.com(click on "LAW FIRM DIRECTORY")
has a link to lawyers dealing with this problem
Sorry if these have already been mentioned.
Big hugs.................:)

Tyler

Just when I question myself and consider listening to the mainstream world, and going ahead with vaccinations, I stumble across something like this. Thank you so very much for posting this and sharing your heartbreaking event. I'm so sorry that you had to go through this, but I hope this will help some parents decide on whether or not to vaccinate. It has caused me to re-think and I still need to do some more research on the illnesses that 'they' want me to vaccinate against.

Thanks again, mama. :hug

:candle :hug

I love Barefoot Mama and I just don't feel comfortable seeing this thread on page 8.

:love
You are so sweet. :hug

bump :candle

i am so sorry for your loss...i have tears in my eyes...i never would of thought that it could happen from something that was supposed to protect children...thank you for sharing you may of saved my sons life :hug

I am so increadibly sorry for your loss.

And yet I thank you so much for sharing your story. I've already postponed the appointment for my 13 month old's MMR one time...I forsee a phone call early in the morning to cancel it again.

I just saw this. Mama, I'm so incredibly sorry. Thank you for sharing Marisa with us.

:candle

I just read your story. I am so sorry that you lost your baby. :crying

When my daugther was molested last year, it taught me to TRUST MY INSTINCTS. My gut feelings tells me not to vaccinate her or her sister. So far neither has had any at 4 years old and 9 months. Whenever I think about it, I feel that the risks are too great. You can't reverse the damage.

Thank you for coming forward. :clap

:candle

thank you for sharing and I am so deeply sorry for your loss, mama~Marissa'a story will touch untold numbers.

much love :grouphug

Thank you so much for sharing your story about your sweet daughter :hug :candle

Came to this through your signature.

:hug :candle I have no words. Just :hug

Our stories begin identically with our daughters' reactions to their first DPT shots. Fortunately, there was somebody in my life much like yourself who gave me the strength to refuse my own daughter's second.

Thank you for sharing your story. I wish I could thank that other mama and tell her how grateful I am for my strong, healthy, eighteen year old daughter. She will never know what a difference she made in the life of my child.

You will neverknow the difference you have probably made in many children's lives either.

You will always be Marissa's mother. Don't ever stop talking about her.

:hug

Thank you for sharing your story. It has encouraged me to continue my quest to inform people about the dangers of vaccines. May many blessings be with you and your family. :Hug

:hug
I just finished reading your heartbreaking story.
I don't know what to say.....
:candle I can only pray for you.
As I finished reading your story and looked out
the window, I saw the snowflakes falling down,
then I thought to myself: these wonderful white
flakes are a sign! They must be, it is already April
after all, but your story is so sad, it makes
other mamas cry...it's even changed the weather
around here, it's like a cry from the skies.:gloomy:

God Bless you and give you strengh!

Kristina(29) mama to Jasmine(4) :novax: :nocirc2 :aqua: :fambed21

I am so, so sorry for your loss. I can't even imagine. I will be praying for you and your family. :hug

That is so heartbreaking... I hope that you and your family are hanging in there.

I am another one of those mamas who occasionally breaks to mainstream pressure (I have been reading a lot of doctor blogs lately) and challenges everything I have come to believe. My Bethie had a bad, bad reaction to DTaP TWICE. Both times the ped waived it off as unrelated, random viruses. I made the choice then and there to stop until I could figure it out. Reading Marissa's story....I am so glad I did. She also has those amazing eyes, rimmed in dark, dark green with very light centers. All three of my littlest ones do (the younger two are blue). Interesting correlation I have never run into before.

:candle
Love to you, mama.

:hug I think it is good for people to read your story. A lot of people don't realize these kind of reactions happen with vax, because doctors won't tell them. :(

Bumping this up as we near the anniversary of Marissa's death.
:candle

:candle

:loveeyes:

I'm in tears. I'm so sorry for your loss. I wish there was something I could do to help, but I can't. I'm sorry.

God bless you.

:hug Thank you so much for sharing your sweet Marissa's story, and thanks to all who've worked to keep this on the front page. We quit vaxing almost 7 years ago, right after our oldest had her 4m-shots, because of info. some friends linked us to.

Then a week ago, we had an appointment with a new pediatrician and she read me the riot act for not vaxing. I suddenly felt a need to review the "why" of our decision. Marissa's story is a powerfully great help, and has strengthened my resolve.

I can fully understand that you'd rather have your darling than be able to help so many others -- but thanks for helping us all the same! :hug

Bless you & your family for sharing Marissa's story with others! I pray it will prevent others from suffering the same fate. :crying:

God Bless you!

:hug You are so brave to post this! I'm so sorry that happened to you, it's just heartbreaking! I hope it will help others.

That is the most horrible story I've ever heard. My heart breaks for you mama and it makes me so ANGRY at the doctors that kept pushing vaccines. I'm so sorry that poor Marissa had to suffer like that. You are such an amazingly strong mama to go through that with her and survive to tell us about it.

I am sorry for your loss. No one should live or die that way, especially a small child.

Thank you so much for sharing Marissa's story.

:hug

Thank you for sharing your story. I can’t even begin to tell you how sorry I am for your loss. You are such a strong woman.

thank you so much for sharing your story. my first dd had some vaccinations too because i didn't know any better really. if i would have had some real info to read about them. she is fine. but playing roullette and not knowing which child will be affected by them in such a way as Marissa was is very scarey. it is truly wonderful that you shared your story and i hope many babies and children are saved by it.

OMG! :crying :love

It is because of the courage you had to tell your story, that one more child may live on, unharmed, and pure. Thank you, and God bless your family.:hug :hug :Thanks

It is because of the courage you had to tell your story, that one more child may live on, unharmed, and pure. Thank you, and God bless your family.:hug :hug :Thanks




yes she is very brave and loving to share Marissa's story.

:loveeyes:

So sorry for your loss

some days I come to this forum and I'm just floored by some of the posts. Really, they tick me off...and when I am just that pissed... I come here and bump up this thread...and then I feel better because then think..."maybe Marissa will help someone" and then I feel better.

hope that makes sense.

some days I come to this forum and I'm just floored by some of the posts. Really, they tick me off...and when I am just that pissed... I come here and bump up this thread...and then I feel better because then think..."maybe Marissa will help someone" and then I feel better.

hope that makes sense.

Makes a lot of sense. I probably would have never seen this if you hadn't bumped it...so thank you.

And THANK YOU, Jenny, for having the courage to write out Marissa's story. Words are failing me now...but I appreciate you doing so and send you and your family and precious angel lots of hugs, peace, and love...

Aw Tracy, what a sweet thing to say. :love

And once again, thank you to everyone who has posted in support of my family and Marissa. We miss her VERY VERY much.

:hug

OMG..thank you Jenny for posting this. I wish I could make everything better for you and your baby. I will NOT vax my DS after reading your true story. :crying :Hug

Poor little Marissa. God Bless little Marissa. I have a puppy that was just sent up to heaven that I hope she gets a chance to play with, if she likes.

Thank you so much for sharing your story. I will share it too. Definitely NOT vaxing my baby.

:(

:hug:

Your story just breaks my heart. I am so sorry for your loss, thank you for sharing your story.