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mesa
12-08-2006, 01:46 PM
I chickened out and wrote it down. SHe has a way of making me forget what I planned to say, and I know it would have degenerated into a fight. Here is a copy of the email, of anyone's interested:

Dear Mom,

I am writing this in email form because I want to
organize my thoughts and be very clear without trying
to think of responses to what you have to say. I want
to tell you everything I have to say, and I would
appreciate it if you think on this for a while, or
even a day or two, before you call me. I am not
interested in any negativity or criticism, so please,
take your time, try to be happy for us, and if you
can't do that, then maybe we should take a break from
each other until you can at least keep your negative
thoughts to yourself.

I am pregnant. Matt and I are deliriously happy, especially Matt, and
his folks are head over heels with joy. Matt is
already looking for a better job, and we are doing
fine. I understand that your definition of "raising
children well" and mine are vastly different, and I am
not going to try to change your viewpoint, I would
appreciate it if you would give me the same courtesy.
We have a good, happy life. Yes, money may be tight,
but we have a home to live in, electricity, heat, and
plenty of food to eat. We have warm, comfortable
clothes, shoes, and happy, happy kids. I have time to
take Nicolas and Noah to the park, be active in Boy
Scouts with Nicolas, and do fun things with both of
them. I love being a stay at home mom, and I know
that my life's work is here, raising my children.
Your goals and mine are very different, and that's ok.
I have never felt a drive to be an overachieving high
earner like you, but I get immense joy in watching my
children grow up happy and well adjusted. You can
think it's mere laziness, but I need you to try to
keep your negative opinions to yourself. Which brings
me to my next point...

You know that I love you dearly. You are one of my
best friends, and I treasure our relationship. But I
have to say, that the boundaries between my life and
yours are rather blurry. You seem to have no qualms
about voicing your highly negative and hurtful
opinions to me whenever you feel like it, and I really
don't appreciate it. If you and I are going to have a
mature, healthy mother daughter relationship, we need
to establish some boundaries. Please work with me on
this. This is what I would like to work on with you.


Please don't criticize my life choices anymore. You
are welcome to your opinions, but please accept that I
am an adult now, and my choices are mine and mine
alone to make. If I ask for your input on a possible
life change or major decision, then I will welcome any
CONSTRUCTIVE advice you may have, as long as you do
not attack me or Matt in any way.

Please accept my parenting style as I have chosen to craft it. I
choose to stay home and raise my children. Matt and I
choose to have a family, and we accept the inevitable
life changes that come with these choices. We know we
will never be rich. We are willing to make sacrifices
to make these dreams real, including working multiple
jobs, or even moving to a lower cost of living area to
make it possible. We will decide what is best for our
family, and all we ask from you is that you be a
loving grandma. You don't have to concern yourself
anymore with whether we will make it or not. And, in
return, I promise not to burden you with our troubles.
We are adults, we made these choices, and we will
learn to deal with the consequences on our own. I do
promise this, but it will take time on both our parts
to make it habit. I promise to gently remind you when
you are overstepping my boundaries, if you will
likewise be gentle about reminding me if I am
burdening you. Sometimes I am emotional and want to
vent, and it is difficult for me to resist it :)

As for our arrangement with the horses, I am willing
to work with you until I have recovered from having
this baby (I hope it's a girl...wouldn't it be great
to have another horsecrazy girl around?). Obviously,
I won't be able to trim them until I have recovered,
and riding is probably taboo too. I will continue to train on the ground, and
I will help you with the undersaddle portions of our
training. I will help you learn to ride Titan to help
get him ready for sale. In short, I will do anything
in my power to make this temporary transition as
comfortable for both of us as I can. I am thinking
about asking my neighbor (the trainer lady) if she
would be wiling to ride them for about 30 minutes a
week, and how much she would charge for that, or maybe
even putting a sign (or ad in the paper) for a
highschooler with experience to ride for us. Let me
know what you think, ok?

Anyway, mom, I don't want to fight with you about
this. I don't want to stress anymore about telling
you, so here is my email. I feel stupid, because I
shouldn't be afraid to tell my own mother that I am
expecting, especially since I am an adult woman of 27.
For once, please be happy for me.

And I know you probably won't believe me, but Matt and
I have been planning to get married for about 4 months
now, the date is next Christmas. We are having a B&B
ceremony, complete with carolers and hot chocolate, in
front of a big tree, and we are going to have a horse
drawn sleigh, too. And no, I don't plan to ask you
for any help in paying for this wedding. We are
saving for it ourselves, and we are going to use most
of our tax return on it. I personally don't want a
big wedding, but Matt really does, so we compromised.
B&B, about 25 guests, and it's being held in Minnesota
(or maybe Flagstaff...anywhere with nice snow). I'm
so excited, I wish you could be too, for once.

Please take as much time as you need to digest this,
and call me when you won't be angry. If you call and
start to lecture or yell at me, I *will* hang up.
Please, mom.....I know it's really hard for you to
accept that my life didn't turn out the way you
planned, and it's doubly hard for me because I'm your
only child, and there's nowhere else for you to focus
your gaze but on me. But I have a *good* life. I'm
happy, I love my kids, I have a fabulous, loving,
supportive partner who will do anything for me and the
boys, we have a nice life here in AZ, you and I
have a satisfying relationship...what more could we
ask for, really? And the love will only grow when
this beautiful child joins us, and I KNOW you will
fall in love the minute you meet him/her.

Love always and no matter what,
Misti




Graceoc
12-08-2006, 02:28 PM
that sounds very well thought out and nicely written...I hope she takes it to heart. ((((hugs)))) for even having to write the email, it sucks that she can't just be supportive. I don't know what we would do without a supportive family...

mesa
12-08-2006, 02:45 PM
thank you. I'm just sick. It took everything I had to push that send button...that, and the fact that I have to take my foster dog in to be PTS tomorrow (for aggression, we've had him for 7 months, and he's just too much of a liability for my organization).....I'm having a rough week. I woke up to a flat tire day before yesterday, and a dead battery this morning. I think that's my quota of three bad things. Now I just need to quit biting my nails and just let it be with my mom. I have no control over her. She is just gonna have to get over it.

thanks for the hugs. Yeah, those of you with supportive families....I envy you :D At least Matt's family is thrilled....LOL

SleepyMamaBear
12-08-2006, 04:07 PM
:thumb :hug :twothumbs :clap

Aliviasmom
12-08-2006, 04:14 PM
OMG, that is BEAUTIFULLY written! And very mature of you too. I hope she responds well.

mesa
12-08-2006, 06:11 PM
thank you guys. No response yet....hopefully she read it before she left work, otherwise we are going to have a bit of an awkward weekend.....I'll keep y'all psoted when I do get a response from her. I'm not holding my breath for a positive reaction, though:(

fek&fuzz
12-08-2006, 06:17 PM
Not in your DDC, but I just wanted to say that my sister had a B&B wedding like you are planning, complete with horse-drawn sleighrides though the snow, and it was so beautiful and cozy and wonderful. Yours will be beautiful!

crazycandigirl
12-08-2006, 06:50 PM
You wrote that beautifully. I think you summed everything up very nicely. I hope you get a good response and that your mother realizes that it is her turn to "grow up" and let you live your life.

Yuba_River
12-08-2006, 09:26 PM
I just wanted to add that you did a wonderful job conveying your thoughts and feelings. Your mom is lucky to have such a thoughtful and caring daughter! I'm so sorry about your foster dog--my sister fosters all the time, and I know how heartbreaking it can be if it doesn't work out. Take care of yourself.

LisainCalifornia
12-09-2006, 01:50 AM
What a wonderful letter, mama! I am proud of you for writing such a heartfelt, kind, honest, polite, upfront letter. If I were your mother it would touch me deeply. I pray it will for your mom too, and that both of you can move on in your relationship to a better place.

Hugs,
Lisa

mesa
12-09-2006, 09:25 AM
oh wow. So for the last two weeks I haven't really been able to truly enjoy this pregnancy, I always had this dark cloud of what my mom will think hanging over my head. I haven't been able to sleep well, I've been short tempered with my family, and acting funny around my mom. Writing that letter literally made me sick to my stomach, and like I said, it took me a good five minuted to push send, and even then I had to look away while I did it.

My mom and I have had one of those great on the surface, but kind of rocky underneath, type relationships. I have felt for years that I had to put who I was aside to keep the peace, and (although I hate to admit it) I have resorted to lying to her on more than one occasion because I just. don't. want. to. hear. the. b*tching. You know?

That letter is the FIRST time I have *ever* stood up for myself. Ever. She called me last night to tell me her plane was late, and would I mind feeding the horses for her....my gut sank. I just knew she hadn't read it before she left work, and now I was going to have to tell her face to face.

Then she said, I read your letter. I said, yeah? What did you think? And our conversation evolved into a 2 hour talk about all of the issues we have in our lives...she admitted fault (!) for her part....actually expressed excitement (!) for the new baby.....we agreed to be nicer and more respectful to each other (I am not the perfect daughter, trust me)...

Wow. I'm still in shock. I guess the email really was the way to go. I'm a better writer than a speaker. I finally got a really good sleep last night, and I feel like I can sit back and truly enjoy this pregnancy.

Thank you, all of you wonderful mamas, for your moral support and good suggestions these last two weeks. You will never know how much I relied on you...I know, out of all the mamas on the internet, this group would be the kindest, most understanding, and the most like ME. And I was right. :grouphug

Thanks, ladies.

Emma's_Mommy
12-09-2006, 09:40 AM
yippie im glad it all went well for you!

luckydog
12-09-2006, 09:59 AM
Then she said, I read your letter. I said, yeah? What did you think? And our conversation evolved into a 2 hour talk about all of the issues we have in our lives...she admitted fault (!) for her part....actually expressed excitement (!) for the new baby.....we agreed to be nicer and more respectful to each other (I am not the perfect daughter, trust me)...

Wow. I'm still in shock. I guess the email really was the way to go. I'm a better writer than a speaker. I finally got a really good sleep last night, and I feel like I can sit back and truly enjoy this pregnancy.

My eyes filled with tears when I got to this part. Silly pregnancy hormones. :o

But truly I'm glad to read this follow-up. How wonderful that things went so well and that you and your mom are on the path towards healing your relationship. It sounds like you are both making the right choices!

crazycandigirl
12-09-2006, 01:18 PM
I am so glad things went well. :shy