Talking to Older Siblings...

[Lukas's Mama]

I've got a toddler, he's going to be 2 this weekend. We've told him that mama has a baby growing in her tummy and he just pointed to his tummy and said "me baby". He'll kiss my tummy and say "hi baby" but I'm not sure he's getting it really. Who could expect him to..... it's a pretty complex situation.
What are you saying to older siblings? Do you have any recommendations on great books to get them used to the idea? I have a book for children about a mama who has a baby one night at home and it's told from the youngest sibling's point of view. It seems to have disappeared from the shelf but I'll find it and update you with the title.

[jandj+1]

I have a two-year-old and was wondering the same thing.

I looked around at the bookstore a bit, but didn't like what I saw. Bet you can guess why...

All the books I found showed the new baby being bottle fed. I have enough of an issue with the Little People house my daughter got for her birthday. Its "mother" has a bottle in her hand. Of course, I've been telling my daughter its the babysitter. I just wish they'd leave feeding out of kid's toys and books if they won't show breastfeeding :(

So, if you come up with any books for soon-to-be siblings with no pictures of or discussion of bottles, I'd love to hear about them!

[mommysusie]

I'm not going to tell my kids that I am expecting until later on down the line. My kids think that everything happens tommorrow, so they would probably be asking me when is the baby going to get here everyday. I have been getting them ready for the idea of a new baby though. My oldest loves babies and he just has to pick up every baby or toddler he sees. My daughter really wants me to have a girl, because she says she is out numbered with her 2 brothers right now, so if I don't have a girl, I'll have to get her a girl puppy or something.

[Lukas's Mama]

I'm having an awful time finding anything. Mostly I've been checking amazon. I did find a Dr.Sears written book for children called "Baby On The Way". The mom does see a doctor for her prenatals but it shows both mom and dad slinging the new baby and no bottles from what I can tell.

"Welcome With Love" is the book that I have that specifically shows a homebirth. The mama is crawling around on all fours, moaning and goes for a walk outside while laboring. It's told from the point of view of the big brother and when the baby is finally born, the whole family crawls into the bed they've made on the floor near the fire. The illustrations are beautiful and the story is simple and sweet.

There is another book called "Runa's Birth" that shows the homebirth of a new little sister and details the typical progression of a birth. First mama gets loud and daddy helps her cope, the midwife arrives, pushing and a baby.

Please feel free to add to my list.

[*~Member~*]

Well Freja had JUST turned 2 9 days before I had Raeden and truthfully there was no way to prepare her. You can try books but it's really just going to take bringing the baby home for them to understand in my opinion with toddlers. For the first 2 weeks Freja would Cry whenever anyone else held the baby cause she didn't realize that they weren't taking her away she was 'ours'

[twilight girl]

Well, my DD seems to intuit these things. We were at the store right around the time I started getting :+ s, and she picked up a baby toy and said she had to get it for her baby. I asked her where her baby is, and she said "not in my tummy."

She also went with me to get my beta, but I don't think it's clicked yet. However, August is sooooooo far away and she is just 4.5 y.o. She doesn't deal too well with anticipation so I don't think we're going to make a huge deal of this with her until I get a belly. (I told her two weeks ago that after Christmas we were going to Florida with Grandma and Pop, and she immediately ran and packed her suitcase. So, I'm thinking 40 weeks is way too much anticipation for her right now).

[Lukas's Mama]

Judi,
It's a very good point you make about the loooong wait being too much for the little ones. I'm just thinking that the more he starts to understand pregnancy, labor, birth and new babies, the less of a shock it will be at the end. He can expand his vocabulary so that he can better ask questions and get an idea of what new babies look and sound like. I certainly don't expect the transition to big brother to be seamless (although I can hope) but I would feel better doing everything I can to prepare him.

[twilight girl]

Lukas'smama--> I agree with you 100%. I just don't think you have to start too early. You can talk generically about where babies come from. DD already knows that they grow in a mother's uterus and that they come out from the vulva (we haven't talked about vaginas yet). Talk about other friends that have more than one kid. I would think that if you have an u/s at 20 weeks, take him with you. It will help make it real (at least it did for my husband :lol ), and the pregnancy will already be 1/2 way over. Plus, that will a good time for the older bro. to start talking to the baby, playing music for him, etc.