Finding a MW/Doula/insurance ?s - aka I'm feeling overwhelmed!

[cbmr777]

I feel like I'm starting for the first time trying to figure this all out since I want a HB after 2 hospital births (one that was just "OK" and one that was horrible)...

We *want* a homebirth but having been tramatized by hospitals, we're fearful. I'm fearful I can't "pull off" a natural HB. I'm fearful that something may go wrong. (I know... I've read the statistics but you know how these thoughts can get ingrained in ya...) But I'm what the hospitals consider "high-risk" being 37 yo... so very old. LOL

So I'm now all of a sudden having to look for a doula or midwife or both and figure out how all of this is going to work and more importantly how we are going to afford this!

So I had a few questions that maybe ya'll could help me out on:

1) How did you find your doula? What kind of things were you looking for in a doula? Do you rely heavily on references from others? How do you find one that clicks with you? I am such a wimp that I need someone understanding yet... I don't know... firm, I guess... firm on the right things and for the right reasons, if that makes sense...

From what I understand, a doula helps with the labor itself. So in my last labor experience, a doula would have been the person to tell me to get on all 4s to relieve myself of that back labor, right?

2) Midwife versus OB... which did you choose and why? How did you find yours?

Typically a midwife is only there during the delivery part, right?

3) Insurance... I know I need a MW now... for all that prenatal stuff. But if it is not covered under insurance and we'll have to use taxes and such to pay for her, what do I do in the meantime? Go to an OB and switch over? Would some MWs work with us on the costs? Has anyone have Michigan HAP and used a MW who does HBs?

4) What are your favorite links for more HB/MW/Doula info?


Gosh! I sound like a young 20 yo 1st time momma, huh??? LOL :lol

(Maybe I just need a little encouragement? I am still not believing that I am really pregnant... Reality has not set in!)

[AugustLia23]

Was that an insult? I wasn't even 20 when I had my first homebirth and I think I was very well informed about the entire process. You can be knowledgable or ignorant at any age.

Anyways to answer your questions:

1. Alace.org and dona.org are both great resources for doulas in your particular area. I wouldn't rely so heavily on references as I would making sure it's a good personality match. Someone could have the best references, but if you don't click, you will not enjoy having her attend to you in labour.

2. I believe that all women should have midwives. OB's are trained to deal with the pathology of pregnancy, not normal birth, so if you are a healthy woman having a healthy baby/pregnancy, a midwife is your best bet.

Midwives are usually around longer then just the delivery, but you won't get the same kind of support in the hospital than you would at home.

3. Most midwives(in MA at least) do bill for insurance, but my insurance doesn't cover it. No matter though, it's worth the cost to my family to have a homebirth and foot the bill.

4. gentlebirth.org has some great resources on pregnancy and birth info. There are also a ton more sites that you'll find linked around mothering.commune

[daceysmomma]

Christine - I feel like I am in the same boat with you. My first pregnancy - I was willfully uninformed. I just knew I wanted ("needed") an epidural, so I did nothing to prepare myself for any other outcome. And guess what? I ended up with a c/s!
Anyway, thanks for asking these questions because I have the same ones!

I have found that asking the mamas in my LLL chapter to be very helpful. Many have delivered with a MW - at home or at a birthing center. I even found the names of some area doulas from these mamas. I think once you start asking around, you will get some names to start with, and then you can "interview" (not sure if that is the right word . . . you know what I mean) from there.

Good luck and I will keep watching this thread! Thanks, Kailia, for the helpful feedback!

[nikkihoi]

Hi Christine and Ladies.

First off, when you go to a Midwife, you are not automaticly considered "high risk" because of your age. You would be considered high risk b/c of your health or a health issue that a at home MW wouldn't recommend having you birth at home.

As for insurance, every state has different laws regarding CNM's , CPM's and home birth. This can effect insurance.

Also, check out, if you haven't already, on this site, "Finding your tribe". And you may find some other MI mammas

Good Luck!

[cbmr777]

Was that an insult? I wasn't even 20 when I had my first homebirth and I think I was very well informed about the entire process. You can be knowledgable or ignorant at any age.

Actually no! It was certainly not meant as a insult! Please! I hate to think that you took it as such. :(

I'm was referring to how ignorant I was about all of this at 20 yo... I was 27 yo when I had my 1st and did the military thing - go in and birth exactly when and how they wanted you to. With DD2, I *tried* to have a natural birth but again, not enough resources, friends, and connections to help me have the birth I wanted. I had a medicated hospital birth. It seems with each birth I get smarter and smarter. I admire mommas who know what they want and know how to get what they want - and they aren't afraid...

I just know *I* feel like I did at 20 yo... too ignorant and too confused by all of the choices I really never knew I had.


(I hate the internet sometimes since you can't see my body language or see subtle nuances... or be able to see confusion/hurt on someone else's face to clear misconceptions up quickly... :( )

[AugustLia23]

Sorry about that comment Christine. I didn't mean to attack you, I was feeling quite grumpy when I read your post! I had no reason to attack you however and I do apologize for that.

[cbmr777]

Sorry about that comment Christine. I didn't mean to attack you, I was feeling quite grumpy when I read your post! I had no reason to attack you however and I do apologize for that.

That's OK... When I reread what I wrote although it sounded exactly what I meant, no way you could have known I was making a job at my own self.

We can officially blame those darn pregnancy hormones now, huh? :lol

[My*Scorpio]

Congratulations Christine! That is awesome news.

I gave birth in a birth center with a midwife. My insurance (Aetna) paid for everything - it was no different than if I would have had an OB/hospital birth.

I also thought about having a HB, but my dh was a little concerned since it was my first baby and all. So we compromised with the birth center. It was a great experience. I was encouraged to move around during labor, drink, get into the whirlpool, etc. Very empowering. But, if we get the chance to do this again, I will want a HB.

I did not have a doula because the mw was already "on the same page" as me.

Please feel free to call me/pm me if you'd like more info.

Jennifer

[cbmr777]

Hi Jennifer! Great to see you "here"... yea, I'll give you a call this afternoon... Thanks!! :)