Past miscarriage support thread [Archive] - MotheringDotCommunity Forums

debra_lea

01-10-2007, 01:10 PM

Hi Mommas,

As I mentioned in my intro thread, I had a miscarriage a few months ago for my second pregnancy. It was a suprise, disappointment and a huge learning curve for me. I didn't know they were so very common, and...well... I didn't know much of anything about miscarraige at the time. It seems like such a hush hush topic that no one discusses.

I am so VERY happy to be pregnant again. It took a while for my body to get pregnant (#2) after bfing my DS for his first 2 years. It only took me one cycle to get pregnant this 3rd time after the miscarriage. And while I am optimistic that everything will be fine this time, I am still a bit nervous. I am only about 5 weeks, but I almost wish I were exhausted or puking like I was with my son so that I would know everything is fine. Instead I keep poking at my very sore boobs to feel somewhat reassured.

Anyway, I started this thread to see if any of you other ladies have similar fears and would be interested in supporting one another. I can't wait to get through to the second trimester!

beckyphry

01-10-2007, 02:47 PM

I miscarried in October at around 5 weeks. The miscarriage took a full 2 weeks to complete (like, the products of conception finally came out... so really I was 7 weeks). It was my first pregnancy, we got pregnant on our first try, and I was terrified the whole time. The month after my miscarriage 2 co-workers announced their pregnancies... due the same month I was. :( It was hard.

This time around my doctor's office did early bloodwork -- I know my hcg and progesterone levels are good and I'm less nervous because of that, especially since I don't have many symptoms. Debra, have you thought about going for bloodwork? It did my psyche wonders!

jmhammond

01-10-2007, 02:50 PM

I m/c in September @ 14 weeks. She died @ 8, but my body didn't respond. I had spotting all throughout the pregnancy.

I'm very scared, nervous, happy, sad, excited, relieved, anxious, etc. all at the same time! I'm glad to be here with you ladies!

naturegirl

01-10-2007, 03:16 PM

First of all :hug to you all. I also experienced a m/c with my first pregnancy before ds. I also was in a state of shock as I never thought that would happen to me! ds pregnancy was sketchy with bleeding, cramping, clotting up to 13 weeks. Thank goodness things turned out great with him!

Unfortunately this time I have NO symptoms so I am especially nervous. No sore boobs (still breastfeeding), no significant nausea, not especially tired (at least not more than I already was with a breastfeeding, co-sleeping toddler.) On the positive side, I haven't had any spotting and only minor cramping (normal I think) so hopefully it will just be a nice, breezy pregnancy.

I am, today, waiting for the results of my second hcg and prog. levels. I am taking 100 mg of prog. Why hasn't she called yet!?! :irked:

debra_lea

01-10-2007, 03:41 PM

My midwife didn't seem to think it was neccessary to do the bloodwork. I am going to go for an ultrasound at 7 weeks, or around there.

My first pregnancy was totally normal, and I was on Clomid with my second. Probably a mistake. I waited for 5 months after breastfeeding to start having a normal cycle and I got impatient (patience is not one of my virtues). So, I opted to go on Clomid to get ovulating. Now, after the whole experience, I learn that there is an increased risk of miscarriage while you are on Clomid. Wish someone would have shared that with me before I used it!

I had an ultrasound and heard the baby's heartbeat at 61/2 weeks. Everything was fine. I started spotting at around 11 weeks, and when they did an ultrasound there was nothing left, just the sac. So, the baby died sometime inbetween. I knew though. The entire pregnancy I knew something wasn't right. I wasn't the slighest bit nervous with my first pregnancy, but with the second I kept telling people something didn't seem right. When they dated the size of the baby in the ultrasound it was WAY off. I didn't have symptoms past 7 weeks. I kept expressing my concerns and I was brushed off.

Part of me is obviously a little nervous with this pregnancy, because of that experience, but I guess I also feel pretty confident that everything will be fine. There is a really low chance of a repeat miscarriage, according to the statistics. Statistics make me feel better:-) I'm glad a few of you wrote though, I think talking about it and with others helps.

lactivist

01-10-2007, 05:30 PM

I have had several m/c's throughout the years. I had two m/c's the year before I conceived my 22 mo. One was so rough. I had panick attacks all through the first trimester of his pregnancy. It was so stressful. This pregnancy is somewhat of a surprise and although I am little nervous about m/c this time, I feel really at peace and calm about the whole thing and i don't know why. I hope it is a sign that the pregnancy is going to be fine. I just wanted to chime in and say I can relate. Wishing all of you a great pregnancy and peaceful thoughts.
Wendi

teniprice

01-10-2007, 08:37 PM

I also just had a m/c in Nov. at 6 weeks. I got my bfp just 2 cycles later and I feel very good about this pg. I just know it will be a healthy one.

debra_lea

01-11-2007, 06:31 AM

Isn't it amazing how well we know our bodies. I knew 3 days after I ovulated this cycle that I was pregnant. I also feel really good that everything is going to be fine with this pregnancy.

Does anyone else have different symptoms this time? I don't necessarily have different symptoms, but my symptoms are much more pronounced.

flapjack

01-11-2007, 07:03 AM

Yep. I tend to alternate a miscarriage with a baby, and this is my baby cycle ;) (touch wood.) I've never felt as ill when I didn't get to hold the baby.

teniprice

01-11-2007, 09:42 AM

With my m/c I had no symptoms at all except for sore bbs and those were there in my 2ww. This time I have been exausted since before my bfp and I'm craving things and having small spells of nausea. It's not my usual full blown m/s (yet) but I can tell something is off. Has been for a few weeks now. It is definately reassuring to have symptoms this time.

jmhammond

01-11-2007, 10:10 AM

I also feel *different* this time, but not having any symptoms really is hard for me. I have to remember with my son I didn't have any symptoms until about 6 or 7 weeks. So I should just enjoy these few weeks without the sickness!

naturegirl

01-11-2007, 12:02 PM

Not good news here either...:gloomy: :crying

My results are back HCG was 172 at 21 DPO but they were at 93 at 10 dpo. so they haven't even doubled in 1 1/2 weeks. My prog. is only 12. I am going off the progesterone and now just have to wait for the m/c.

Sorry about the copy and pasting of this on the other threads. I just don't want to re-type this over and over...

maylea_moon

01-11-2007, 01:04 PM

Could I join? I had a miscarriage in November at 5 weeks. I knew I was going to miscarry and I did. This time I feel very good about the pregnancy so I'm not *too* worried but I am more worried than what's probably considered "average". ;) My symptoms are much stronger this time. Last pregnancy at this point I really didn't have any symptoms except very slightly tender breasts which disappeared the day I began to spot.

*hugs* to Cheryl.

lactivist

01-11-2007, 01:55 PM

naturegirl :grouphug I am so sorry.
Wendi

LacieD

01-13-2007, 07:33 PM

Bumping this up... I had a miscarriage in November at 12w1d. The baby died around 8 weeks. I feel much, much better about this pregnancy (I was hesitant to even post with the last) but I think I'll still be on edge until I make it past 12 weeks.

debra_lea

01-14-2007, 06:48 AM

Hi Lacie,

Yes, I think we all feel a little nervous. But, I think the most important thing we can do is stay positive, and let our little one know that we have joy and happiness around their existence. That, and staying as stress free as possible. I've been trying to do some relaxation breathing when I wake with insomnia:-)

pianojazzgirl

01-14-2007, 11:33 PM

Hi all!

I just got my bfp about 5 minutes ago and I've come to join the group! I am shaking all over. I've had two mc's this past year - in Apr at 8wks pg, and Aug at 10 wks pg. I'm so terrified right now. Ecstatic and terrified. I was diagnosed with MTHFR (bloodclotting disorder) which the dr said most likely did not cause the miscarriages so he won't prescribe me anything. I am considering taking baby aspirin anyway. But I'm scared of hurting the baby. I don't know what to do. Yikes, so many thoughts running through my head right now as I look down at those 2 lines on the hpt!

Anyway, excuse my ramblings - I'm still in shock here! Looking forward to getting to know you all and sticky vibes to everyone!

lactivist

01-15-2007, 12:08 AM

Congratulations! :balloons
I had two m/c's in a year and then went on to have Eavan. Sending you lots of sticky baby vibes! I don't have any advice about the baby aspirin but I bet a bit of research and intution will guide you to the right choice. :hug
Wendi

beckyphry

01-15-2007, 09:16 AM

So, how are all you ladies feeling about telling others about your pregnancy? I'm excited but hesitant. The only people I've told so far are people who knew about my miscarriage (i.e. people I'd want around for support in case something goes wrong again).

I have an early u/s today and we should be able to see the heartbeat if all is going well. My husband really wants to tell his family and friends. I'm excited to tell them, but at the same time still worried that even if we do see the heartbeat, something could still go wrong. Maybe I've spent too much time hanging around message boards with women who have had later miscarriages :duck: and it's making me nervous.

I told my husband we'd talk about telling after this appointment. Thoughts? How do you feel about telling?

stacyg

01-15-2007, 09:38 AM

We had a mc late in September I was about 5 weeks. We are really excited about this pregnancy but we too are hesitant to tell anyone. We've told our support system but that will be all until around 12 weeks or so. It's hard to keep the news in but I personally would rather not tell than have to tell everyone I'd lost the baby again. It's a personal decision though...I'm sure everyone is different.
I'm trying to remain positive and think happy sticky thoughts yk? I do feel different this time so that's a plus!

Becky~ Let us know how it goes today! How exciting!!

KittyMommy

01-15-2007, 10:57 AM

Count me in. I was due at the end of June and m/c'ed at 8.5 weeks. I also had two m/c before DS was born in 2002.

We won't tell for a while...other than a select few close friends. We didn't tell my parents until the second tri with DD.

beemama

01-15-2007, 11:14 AM

I'm here, too. We had a new year's 2006 loss, and I had a blighted ovum in '95.
We're not telling anyone until we get to the 2nd trimester OR we see a heartbeat... I'm not sure what I'm doing in the way of a dr so we may not have an early u/s.

I'm trying to stay neutral on the fact that my symptoms have mostly disappeared! They were so strong a few days ago. It's still so early, tho.

What are you doing to cope with the fears? I'm meditating more, and when I do meditate on this pg I feel a deep calm. When I start thinking negative thoughts I get into the *now*. It's been helpful.

jeaninevp922

01-15-2007, 01:00 PM

With ds, we didn't tell anyone until the 2nd trimester. Except for a few of my co-workers because I worked with organic solvents and had to stop. I told them as soon as I knew. (And surprisingly, that's one rumor that didn't spread through the whole company.)
With dd, I was going to wait, but people knew we were going through fertility treatments, so they always asked. I had one friend offer me a margarita, and when I refused she said something about abstaining while ttc and I said yes, even though I was already pg. Then I felt bad about lying to her, so fessed up. She was sooo excited. She wanted to know the results of my 7-week ultrasound, so on my way home from that I stopped at her house at showed her the u/s pic of twins. She then sent an email out to everyone on a local mom's group yahoo list.:splat Most of those people aren't my friends, either. When I called one of my friends to tell her, she already knew:irked: - that's how I found out about the email. So, after my ten-week u/s, when there was now only one heartbeat, i made her send out an email to everyone again:hammer . (And no, we aren't friends anymore.)
When I was pg with the one I m/c'd, i didn't tell anyone. Then I started spotting, the dr put me on progesterone (due to my history) and then they started doing hcg's and u/s's to find out what's going on. That's when I told three friends, and my parents. And i've since told others that I had a m/c.
This time, I've only told one friend. Sometimes i think i should tell other people - after all, i told them when i was in the middle of a m/c, so obviously i don't mind telling them if things go wrong. But I don't think I will. I have an u/s on Wednesday, I'll be 7w2d. Hopefully everything looks good, but i still don't think I'll tell. I may ask for a 10-12 week u/s, and if everything looks good at that one, then i'll tell.
whew, that was long!

debra_lea

01-15-2007, 03:06 PM

I admire all you mommas who can keep it quiet. I guess I'm just a blabbermouth. Even when I have good intentions of only telling a few close friends, I spill the beans. I haven't even had my first u/s yet and I still told more people than I had planned. I'm just SO excited!

But, when I miscarried I told everyone too. I tend to talk myself through difficult times. I feel terrible when I'm going through a difficult time and I feel like I don't have anyone to talk with.

beckyphry

01-15-2007, 03:09 PM

Phew, we have a heartbeat! :) Nice, strong 133bpm. Now I feel better! I just have a feeling that everything will be ok... so I think we're going to go ahead and tell the rest of our family members and I told my husband he could tell his friends (he's been DYING to tell!). Work and the rest of the world can wait til 12 weeks.

stacyg

01-15-2007, 03:13 PM

beemama

01-15-2007, 03:30 PM

Congratulations, Becky!!! How exciting!

LacieD

01-15-2007, 10:46 PM

I'm really hesitant to tell people this time - I'm not worried about this pregnancy, but I'm very superstitious. We told everyone about DS1 at 13 weeks, and he was fine; we told people about our angel at 8 weeks and things weren't fine. So I think we'll wait until second tri again this time - it'll be hard to keep in, but I think I'll feel a lot better. :)

pianojazzgirl

01-15-2007, 11:16 PM

Phew, we have a heartbeat! :) Nice, strong 133bpm. Now I feel better! I just have a feeling that everything will be ok...

Yay! :D

I think this time I'll tell a few people right away just to have a support network, but beyond my close circle of family and friends I'll keep it quiet until the bump starts to get noticeable. ;)

jmhammond

01-16-2007, 12:11 PM

We are slowly telling people...

It has just come out in conversations over dinner with close friends and supportive people. In the past, both times I got pregnant, I sent out his mass e-mail with pictures of the EPT. It feels weird to make that sort of announcement after the m/c, but also feels weird not to.

So I guess we don't really have a plan, but are telling people more than not.

go4it

01-16-2007, 02:00 PM

What a relief to find this thread! 12 dpo today, got a good, strong bfp at 10 dpo on Sunday, so this is officially my THIRD day pregnant with what I hope will be dc#4.

We had a 6-week mmc in October, ended at 11 weeks with d&c Nov 1. This was my 2nd cycle post d&c. I also had a chemical in July. So that's three pregnancies in SIX months. Urg.

I feel so depressed to be pg, not optimistic at all. :(

I have only told dh & my sister. I was so excited to tell my sister by showing her the digital but then I just couldn't ... it just came out like "never mind... well, okay, it looks like I'm pregnant again."

Ugh.

The good news: 7dpo progesterone was 81.7; yesterday's beta (11dpo) was 59. Low but good. I'll know next week, I guess, but everything doubled nicely at first with the last pregnancy, too.

My bb's started hurting on Sunday but have since stopped. I wish they'd come back...anyway, I feel like I'm in mourning - not joyous about this at all.

stacyg

01-16-2007, 03:21 PM

:Hug I pray everything works out for you. :Hug
Please come back for support and keep us updated. I'll be thinking of you!

pianojazzgirl

01-16-2007, 07:24 PM

I feel so depressed to be pg, not optimistic at all. :(

I totally relate. It just seems completely unrealistic that I'll go through a uneventful 40 wk-ish pg and end up with a healthy baby. I don't know why. It just doesn't seem possible. I had a mc last April, then I got pg again in June and I somehow managed to stay totally positive throughout that pregnancy... until the bleeding started. Now I just can't get into it somehow.

stacyg

01-16-2007, 07:42 PM

:hug

go4it

01-17-2007, 11:17 AM

mrsfatty

01-17-2007, 11:38 AM

Well, unfortunetly, I'm going to join this thread:

8/3/04--I miscarried at 6 weeks, 6 days
6/9/05--I gave birth to a healthy baby boy (he's 19 months now)
5/28/06--I miscarried at 8 weeks, 5 days
9/28/06--I had a late miscarriage at 14-15 weeks, to a perfectly formed little baby girl--I had an incomplete miscarriage, so I had to have a D&C to remove the placenta...

I've had the battery of blood tests done for those with recurrent miscarriage--and nothing is wrong with me, that we know of (the results were normal)...I'm feeling positive about this pregnancy...but there is still the nagging, awful feeling that something might go wrong...I just want to have another baby, healthy, happy, full-term, that I get to keep longer than a few weeks...

So I'm excited and a bit scared...I have an early intervention appointment with my OBGYN on the 31st, to have my cervix checked and bloodwork done and possibly and US...

jmhammond

01-17-2007, 03:06 PM

I just wanted to tell you ladies that I am a praying woman and am praying for you daily as I pray for myself for healing and for this baby! :hug :Hug :grouphug

danaalex

01-17-2007, 08:44 PM

we had a m/c in nov 06. too. i had a hard time with it because i think *I* could've prevented it.

i went in for an abdominal/ pelvic CT scan that had been ordered 2 weeks before by my gastroenterologist. i had had my period and then three days after it ended i started spotting and that lasted three days. well, the 3rd day was the day of the CT scan.

no one asked me if i was pg or thought i could be. i never thought to mention it either, because i had had my period 2 weeks earlier. well, that night i found out i was pg. i was actually devastated because i had just exposed my new baby to TONS of radiation and iodine. i researched it and what i found was that when you are pg you should NOT expose yourself to a CT scan at all, especially not an abdominal or pelvic one. there was a high chance for miscarriage and or defects due to the radiation.

i prayed to God to keep my baby whole, however that had to happen. my bleeding stopped for 4 days and then it started again bright red, and i miscarried. i don't know how far along i was. i know i was pg because i went in for a blood test when the HPT was positive, but that was all i knew.

i'm cautious this time around, but hopeful that this baby will stick and be born healthy :)

Lyrelle

01-19-2007, 01:39 PM

:grouphug to everyone. As I posted in my intro, I lost my baby back in August due to a syndrome called Pentalogy of Cantrell.

I'm glad to be pregnant again - but I'm terrified. It hasn't helped that yesterday my side was achy all day (though it's still early to notice symptoms from an ectopic pregnancy, I know) and today my side is achy *and* I'm having mild to moderate cramping. Of course, before losing a child, I would've probably not really worried about it, but now . . .

When we were pg with #1, we blithely decided to tell everyone almost right away, because we were so excited and because we decided that if we lost the baby, we'd rather everyone know why we were sad. Now, however, we just don't want to subject our families to such a potentially painful emotional rollercoaster, so we're waiting a while. We've already told a couple of our friends who knew we were ttc, though.

Lyrelle

pianojazzgirl

01-19-2007, 06:28 PM

I guess for a lot of people it is about getting PAST where they with their loss and then they breathe a little easier. But last time, after the chemical, I had a ton of tests and kept getting GREAT betas and high temps (yeah, it's dumb to temp) but that put my mind at ease. This time, I tell myself seeing the heartbeat will...

I don't think getting past the point of my last loss will help me this time. My first mc was at 8wks and then when I passed that point in my next pg I breathed a huge sigh of relief... only to mc at 10wks. I also almost lost my dd at 38wks for unexplained reasons. So I think even after I hear the heartbeat I won't rest easy. Only when I have a babe in arms!