Should I VBAC?

[irishprincess71]

I know this probably sounds really odd but the thought of a non-c section birth scares me.

With my first pregnancy last year I planned on trying to go as natural as the hospital would allow. No meds or inductions unless I felt it was absolutely necessary. When I set my mind to something I have a strong enough personality to pull it off.

However, DS was breech from 18 weeks on. To make a long story short, I decided immediately that if he stayed breech I did not want a vaginal delivery. Despite the fact that it is possible to have one without any tearing or forceps, I knew there was a greater possiblity and I didn't want to take a chance of either of those.

My biggest fear in giving birth has always been tearing of any kind down below. Unfortunately, for reasons I am not sure of, sex has never been 100% pain free and I seriously fear making it worse by giving birth.

Because my c-section was a great experience for me - I didn't do any damage, DH was with me the whole time and did all the diaper changing for the first 3 days, and DS was with us 24/7 almost from the beginning, I am considering scheduling the next one as a c-section.

How possible is a non-tearing (I refuse to allow an episiotomy) birth? Are you ever the same again even if you don't tear?

[dotcommama]

How possible is a non-tearing (I refuse to allow an episiotomy) birth? Are you ever the same again even if you don't tear?

Very possible. Your body is made to accommodate a child passing through. You were designed to have a baby go through your body without damage. I would recommend doing perennial (sp?) massage ahead of time to make sure your body is extra stretchy (if your not comfortable touching yourself this way – maybe your dh would volunteer) and you really should have no problem.

Also if sex is painful for you - have you ever discussed this with a doctor? There maybe a reason and a solution.

[irishprincess71]

I have information on the perineal massage and had started working on it with the last pregnancy before I found out that it would be c-section. There are just so many horror stories out there and very few positive ones that it is hard to be optimistic about it.

I haven't discussed the sex issue with anyone yet. I suppose I should but I just keep putting it off.

[Kirsten]

I have not had a c-section before (I browse this board for my friend who is doing a HBAC this winter) but did myself tear with my two previous vaginal deliveries. I had in my birth plan that I would prefer tearing to being cut. Both times I did tear a little and was stitched up. Not a big deal at all. No issues healing then or with sex now. I was very anti-cut but the tearing was nothing. Didn't feel it when it happened and I healed up just fine. I don't know if this helps you as if tearing is your issue I can't make it not be. I know for me needles (especially having blood drawn or getting an iv) is my issue and no matter who told me it was no big deal, it still would be for me. Just wanted to tell you that I have had absolutely no negative effects from tearing - I think I am still the same physically and emotionally.

I would say that going for a VBAC is a great idea - but no one can guarantee you that you won't tear so it depends on how comfortable you can get with the idea of that possibility. You can use positions for birth that make tearing less likely and/or the perineal massage that others suggested.

I also second the idea of talking to your doctor/midwife/etc. about why sex may be painful for you now. Also, with your next pregnancy, I would see a midwife as they are more likely to do birth without episiotomies than doctors are.
Kirsten

[RainCityMama]

Hello irishprincess71!

I had a c-section with my first child and an HBAC with my second -
With my vaginal birth I experienced a 'skid mark' which was uncomfortable but primarily when I went to the bathroom and it only lasted about a week or so I would have to say that I experienced more discomfort from the hemorrhoids in both my pregnancies than I did giving birth vaginally.

Good luck on your decision!