My poor DS was circumcised. I was completely mis-informed and was given the whole spiel of pro-circ propaganda by the Doctors and nurses. I didn't do any of my own research and I wish so much now that I had. I had a very difficult pregnancy and was on bed rest the majority of it because they told me my DS could die in utero at any time. He didn't even have any clothes or diapers to come home to. I had to send DH out the day after we got home.

I am going through this HUGE grieving process right now over my son's circumcision. Nightmares and extreme guilt with each diaper change etc. It is making me feel like a horrible mom. I would NEVER do this to another son! I only found out what I had done by allowing them to circumcise him when I came to the internet looking for info about penile adhesions. This was because the Drs kept ripping his apart and it was killing me to see him in pain. Then I went and got his hospital records and found out all they gave him for pain was a pacifier and sweet ease. :bawl

Anyway...he was circumcised with a Gomco. The top is a straight defined cut and there is very little skin left. The bottom of his circ is VERY loose and can almost cover the top of his glans. My question is does this mean they left his frenulum? I have no idea what to even look for. I know it is very strange but I am really :1praying: that they did so that he isn't completely destroyed by this. So if anybody could tell me what to look for I would appreciate it. :o

First off, :hug!

I would say if he looks loose on the bottom, he most likely has his frenulum. That's good, because it's normally a very pleasurable spot. Please don't pull apart his adhesions any more, or allow doctors to do it! It's totally unnecessary. They will likely resolve on their own with time.

I'm sorry you had to learn the hard way what circ really entails and I'm sorry you were lied to by people you should be able to count on to tell you the truth.

First off, :hug!

I would say if he looks loose on the bottom, he most likely has his frenulum. That's good, because it's normally a very pleasurable spot. Please don't pull apart his adhesions any more, or allow doctors to do it! It's totally unnecessary. They will likely resolve on their own with time.

I'm sorry you had to learn the hard way what circ really entails and I'm sorry you were lied to be people you should be able to count on to tell you the truth.

:yeah:

First off, :hug!

I would say if he looks loose on the bottom, he most likely has his frenulum. That's good, because it's normally a very pleasurable spot. Please don't pull apart his adhesions any more, or allow doctors to do it! It's totally unnecessary. They will likely resolve on their own with time.

I'm sorry you had to learn the hard way what circ really entails and I'm sorry you were lied to be people you should be able to count on to tell you the truth.

Thank you. The even worse part is that the Doctor who did it told me he had used Lidocaine! LIAR!

I would only add that you shouldn't keep beating yourself up over being lied to and deceived. It happened. Many people have had wonderful lives even though they were circumcised. And you know how to help him later. You will be able to give him the information needed for nim to make an informed decision. He will have better resources for helping him restore, if and when he is ready. I wish I had known what he will know when I was younger. So he will be much better off than I was.

First off, :hug!


I'm sorry you had to learn the hard way what circ really entails and I'm sorry you were lied to be people you should be able to count on to tell you the truth.

:yeah:

But sorry, the frenulum of the foreskin is similar to the frenulum of your tongue (on the underside of your tongue)......once it's cut, it just doesn't work the same way. So, even if it's still "there," it won't function the way an intact frenulum would.

But stick around and join us in our fight to save more babies. Marilyn Milos, who founded www.nocirc.org, circ'd her sons before she knew better.

First off, :hug!

I would say if he looks loose on the bottom, he most likely has his frenulum. That's good, because it's normally a very pleasurable spot. Please don't pull apart his adhesions any more, or allow doctors to do it! It's totally unnecessary. They will likely resolve on their own with time.



I don't want to be depressing, but DH is VERY loose on the bottom and his frenulum is pretty much COMPLETELY removed :gloomy: . They can remove the frenulum and still leave a rather loose circ. Probably if you looked at some pictures you would get an idea of what a natural frenulum/large frenulum remnant after circ looks like.

So sorry with all the deception that happened at the hospital. We hear this sort of stuff all the time, so disheartening. So sorry that you have to go through a grieving process that the medical community should have really protected you from :gloomy: .

My sisters ds2 had a circ like this ( I didn't see it but she described it). She insisted it be "fixed" and had him undergo surgery at 11 months. At the time I just didn't know anything about circ's at all and never said anything to her. Now I'm horrified. She felt he would not like to look funny and it was just wrong. YUCK! Even after that she circed her next ds. Our relationship will never be the same. And she doesn't care. She truly thinks it was for the best. I'm glad to hear you want to protect your ds.

Thank you. The even worse part is that the Doctor who did it told me he had used Lidocaine! LIAR!

Let me preface this by saying Iam not a lawyer, so my thoughts are speculation. Have you considered sueing them for lying about the pain relief. From what I've seen the reason that Drs stopped just circ'ing all boys, and started to get written consent is b/c someone in the '70s sued them. I know this is hard on you but if you channeled that anger, and sued them they might at the very least stop lying and actually start giving pain relief. If Drs started using real pain relief more often it should also make circ less profittable.

I also wanted to say something too help you feel better, but I'm not good with words, so :hug

WARNING: PENIS

Intact frenulums:
http://secretpenis.com/frenulum.jpg
http://net.indra.com/~shredder/intact/anatomy/frenlum1.jpg
http://foreskin.org/46-33-11.jpg

An intact man with no frenulum - many cut guys look like this:
http://foreskin.org/nofren.htm

This man has a skin bridge but shows where the frenulum would be (right in the middle) and a bit of remenant:
http://www.circumstitions.com/Restric/Images/Botched/brij13.jpg

A few more pictures of parts of the frenulum left:

http://www.circumstitions.com/Restric/Images/Botched/scar18.jpg
http://www.circumstitions.com/Restric/Images/Botched/scar7.jpg
http://www.circumstitions.com/Restric/Images/Botched/tag1a-gom.jpg
http://www.circumstitions.com/Restric/Images/Botched/tag1.jpg

No frenulum at all:
http://www.circumstitions.com/Restric/Images/Botched/uneven17.jpg

Hope these help

First off try not to beat yourself up (I know, easier said then done). You know NOW that what you did was a mistake and that is the first step. If you have any future boys you can feel good knowing they will be intact. For a lot of people the hardest part is getting through to them that circ is indeed wrong, you are already there. Now you can start learning WHY it is wrong and the truth which was withheld from you by medical professionals.

Second, leave your son's penis alone. Don't keep forcing the remaining foreskin back. The penis is trying to heal it's self by reattaching the foreskin to the glands. Don't let ANYONE else push your son's foreskin back. When he is older he will be very very grateful for what little he has.

Stick around and educate yourself so someday you can help others! Welcome!

Remember to that now you are in a very unique position to educate others on the horrors of circ. Take the time to tell others what you have been thru and let them know how you feel about circ.

:hug

Let me preface this by saying Iam not a lawyer, so my thoughts are speculation. Have you considered sueing them for lying about the pain relief. From what I've seen the reason that Drs stopped just circ'ing all boys, and started to get written consent is b/c someone in the '70s sued them. I know this is hard on you but if you channeled that anger, and sued them they might at the very least stop lying and actually start giving pain relief. If Drs started using real pain relief more often it should also make circ less profittable.

:nod

Know Your Rights (NOHARMM) (http://www.noharmm.org/knowrights.htm)

Attorneys for the Rights of the Child (ARCLAW) (http://www.arclaw.org/)

HTHs

Here are some links on adhesions:

http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/entrez/query.fcgi?cmd=Retrieve&db=PubMed&list_uids=10893633&dopt=Abstract

http://www.mothersagainstcirc.org/adhesions.htm

http://www.cirp.org/library/complications/ponsky2/

http://www.kidsgrowth.com/resources/adviceDetail.cfm?id=3420

http://www.medem.com/medlb/article_detaillb_for_printer.cfm?article_ID=ZZZYME GW1NC&sub_cat=474

http://pediatrics.about.com/od/weeklyquestion/a/05_pnl_adhesion.htm

http://www.henryfordhealth.org/19160.cfm

http://www.circumstitions.com/Complic.html


Basically they all say the same thing leave them alone and let the penis heal itself and when the teen hormones hit they will most likely release on there own.

No frenulum at all:
http://www.circumstitions.com/Restric/Images/Botched/uneven17.jpg



*sigh*
:(

I dont know that you will be able to tell at this point....my dh is circ'd, maybe a little loosly but not much. He still has his frenulum....

Yeah, I think whether or not the frenulum remains at all is entirely up the discretion of the person doing the cutting. I don't think loose/tight cut makes a difference.

I'm in the same boat as you! It wasn't until my son was about 9 months old did I finally look up circ'ing. We totally regret it!! I know your pain and frustration! :Hug

I really need to find some way to deal with this other than being angry I guess. I am SO mad at that stupid doctor I don't even know where to start.

1. He made me feel like this was for my son's health.

2. He told me he used Lidocaine when he didn't. The hospital records clearly show that.

3. He was the one who came and took Calen from me. When he brought him back he was laughing and carrying on about how Calen had peed on him during it and how funny it was. I had NO CLUE what had actually just happened to my baby and now that I know I am OUTRAGED that he had the nerve to laugh about it and joke about how he peed on him. My poor Calen!!! :gloomy:

4. The day we were discharged this same physician came to check on my son's circumcision site. Calen began to scream as soon as he saw the man. When his diaper was taken off he immediately peed all over him again. Then the Physician had another great huge laugh "Haha he must remember me. Your baby doesn't like me anymore."


I am just convinced this man took some sort of perverse pleasure in my poor child's pain!

Ok Rant over. Just have to get all of this out somewhere!!!!

:hug

I am so sorry that you were lied to by people you should have been able to trust.

While this is horrible and so painful for you right now I hope that you can use your experience to talk other parents out of circumcising.