Mamas of 2 or more?

[JamesMama]

Have you thought on what you're doing with your DC while you are in labor (if you're not having a homebirth)?

A homebirth is pretty much out for me...apartment living, I can hear them drop a pin upstairs...I'd be too self concious...so we're doing a hospital birth (birth center is over an hour away...with NO traffic) with a midwife....

So that means we have to have somewhere for James while I'm in labor. After the birth (at night anyway) DH will just go home...but while I'm in labor I need somewhere for James.

I have a friend that said she could take him, but she's having a baby at the end of July so I don't want her to have to deal with her (then) toddler, newborn, AND my son...so I think on my mom...but she could be in school when I go into labor...

The other problem is that James has NEVER spent the night away from me, I'm terrified about how that is going to go...part of me wants to check out ASAP from the hospital, but if I leave AMA then I have to foot the bill....

What are you mama's doing?

[StacieM]

When my 3rd was born it was early in the morning and my MIL wasn't working so luckily we dropping them off with her. When my son was born, my SIL had come home from out of state to hopefully catch the birth. The kids were on a break from school, so just so happened the night I went into labor she took them all to sleep over grandma's house with her. DH has a big family so we're lucky because someone is always at his parent's house and we can kind of leave them there until we get home.

[kerilynn]

My mom is taking a weeks vacation so hopefully she will be here to watch Cameron
I plan on doing as much laboring at home as I can, then we can all troop over to the (military) hospital (i want Cameron to see the baby being born) and then my mom will take him to our home, and DH will stay the night with me and the new baby.

[Apryl Srissa]

We've got my mom, she watched the older two when the youngest was born. Or if we can't get a hold of her (she had a habbit of being out for hours on end, couldn't get ahold of her), a good friend if she isn't at work.

Bigger concern to me is for my appointments. Last time around, dh didn't get to come to them with me, since we coudn't bring my then 18 month old to all of them. Now its even worse, can't bring all three to them. So though he'll make it to a couple, and definately the ultrasound, I'll be on my own for those.

We'll be moving at some point (kinda soon I hope) and am keeping homebirth as an option, my labors are scarily fast. But the downside there, is if dh doesn't make it home from work or something, then I'd be home with three kids lol

[LittleBrownDog]

We are probably going to have a birth center birth, maaaybe home birth, so DD could hypothetically be there- But I don't think I'd be able to focus, I'm afraid I'd be too worried about her. But I also don't think I could be away from her overnight if I wasn't in labor. MIL wants to be at the birth, I didn't let anyone come besides DH last time, and she is a birth junkie that had two c-sections, so I know it would mean a lot to her to be there. So, I'm thinking BIL & SIL, but they are also TTC and who knows, maybe they're pregnant now? So they might also have a newborn or SIL could be very very pregnant which would make an unhappy 2 year old tough to deal with. Whoever watches her, I'd like them to do it at our house if it's at night, so she's at least in comfortable surroundings. We'll leave the birth center as soon as we can if we deliver there. My mom might come up, but I think she'd like to be at the birth too.

[welldone]

am keeping homebirth as an option, my labors are scarily fast.
Me, too. So glad we had a homebirth with my second--she ended up being born unassisted, caught by my husband, because the midwives didn't arrive in time! Her labor was just over an hour and a half from first contraction to birth.

I'm unsure as to what to do with my two daughters this time. We have a birth center here that I'm wanting to try, but I'd rather have a homebirth. Homebirth midwives, even CPMs, are being attacked around here, so it will be difficult for me to find one to assist me. We don't have any family nearby, and neither child has ever slept a night away from us. I really just want somewhere to drop the kids off for the labor; then my husband can pick them up after baby's born.

I dunno. I'm just really afraid of labor and birth in a car, if we try to make it to a birth center. How wretchedly, torturously uncomfortable that would be!

[StacieM]

Apryl - how old are your kids? My oldest 3 will be in school when I go for my appts, but my son (2) will come with me. Hopefully DH will get to come to one or two appts, but he'll probably be working.

Leigh - when I had my second daughter, my oldest was with me. She was almost 3. DH was there, MIL and DH's grandmother was there, so there were other adults around to look after her. I wasn't worried about her. DH's baby sister was also there, she was only a year old. So we had two little ones in the room when my second daughter was born. Who knows what will happen this time? Thankfully, my oldest is 10, actually she'll be 11 by the time my due date rolls around and she can help with her brother and her sisters if we have to take them with us. My youngest will be almost 3 by then too and he is fine with my oldest helping out with him, so I think we'll be okay.

I just hope we make it to the hospital in time. With my son I woke up with contractions at 12:30 am. I wasn't quite sure those were it, so I took a shower. By the end of my shower I knew I was in labor, so I woke DH up and we went to the hospital - DS was born at about 2:30 am and each of my labors so far have been faster than the one before.

[Apryl Srissa]

Me, too. So glad we had a homebirth with my second--she ended up being born unassisted, caught by my husband, because the midwives didn't arrive in time! Her labor was just over an hour and a half from first contraction to birth.

I'm unsure as to what to do with my two daughters this time. We have a birth center here that I'm wanting to try, but I'd rather have a homebirth. Homebirth midwives, even CPMs, are being attacked around here, so it will be difficult for me to find one to assist me. We don't have any family nearby, and neither child has ever slept a night away from us. I really just want somewhere to drop the kids off for the labor; then my husband can pick them up after baby's born.

I dunno. I'm just really afraid of labor and birth in a car, if we try to make it to a birth center. How wretchedly, torturously uncomfortable that would be!

I have a real fear of the car thing too! My last time around, my midwife was really great, and understood (she was a homebirth mw before she moved to our area, and really supportive of all natural goodies). She gave dh a quick run through of what to do, said if my water broke, don't come, just stay home. That is usually when things start rushing for me, 30 1st time, down to 15 the 3rd, so if that happens, I'm going no where. I had a fear of it happening like shopping or something too, she said just go wheres closer, the center or home. And to keep towels in the car :lol

My now 3 year old had never been away either. We had him spend a few afternoons at grandmas house as warm ups to be sure he'd be ok. Then when Hunter came, we left the boys at my best friends house with her kids to play with till my mom got there and he did really well, but it was late enough and he'd played hard enough, he just crashed. By late morning, we were done, but they were having fun, so I just rested talked to him on the phone. We actually got to go home early next am. I talked to our mw before, she said that since we were experienced parents and knew what to watch for, it would be fine with her as soon as the ped ok'd it, so we also talked to him, and he came as quickly as he could.

[Apryl Srissa]

Apryl - how old are your kids? My oldest 3 will be in school when I go for my appts, but my son (2) will come with me. Hopefully DH will get to come to one or two appts, but he'll probably be working.




Mine will be 11, nearly 4 and 2. But we homeschool, so they are always home. And dh works nights, sleeps mornings and evenings and has a second job that he goes to 4 days a week. So though he can be with me, I'd have to bring the little guys. Unfortunately, my friend who would help with at least a few is only off work on days that dh isn't. I'm crossing my fingers she won't be working by then, her dh is up for a new job that will mean she can be back at home with her kids. That would be great for all of us. Plus, I could handle taking them occasionally. I have to admit, that I kinda enjoyed it last time. I don't go out alone all that often, so having that was so quiet. Like time to get to absorb having heard the heartbeat or whatever, with out the chaos of everyone else

[Momma Aimee]

this si a REAL issue for us. DS is 15 months now, he iwll be 24 at teh time of birth.

we have NO family here -- MIL, a by-choice-invalid -- is 4.5 hours. My mom (who made it to iowa for Theo's birth) is 7 hours.

Mom will lkily hit the road for iowa as soon as we call -- still yu are looking at 8 to 9 hours from call to Grand Pat careing for T.

Equally big -- Bigger concern to me is for my appointments. DH went tot hem all alst time, we'd rather save his leave this time as I will need more PP support ant with two kids I need him to be off THEN. but I don't have NAY clue what to do with Theo for appts.

We have people who Scott works with who i would call great emergency care -- if all h&&& broke loose we could call any of them...but for anythign rotinue, nope

I have been telling all teh doulas i talk to that i will need support with Theo untill my mom can arrive. reasonable -- i htink -- i ahve one who in general seems to act like i am too demanding and told me to becase how much i expect from any doula (????).............but i see that as our only option -- labor at home with the doula as assitace till Mom can get here. Last labor was 33 hours, soooooooooooooooooooooo

We have never been apart ovr night, and with living so far from family, and his still nurseing as much as ever, I am not sure how to work that.

I have in my birth plan that Theo may spend the night with us at the hosptial, and that we might leave after one night, not two, beacuse of him.

all depends on the birth and the timeing

A

[monocyte]

We just bought the house right next to my folks...so Im sure DS (will be 4.5 at birth time) could go with them - I guess it depends on our feelings (my mood) to have him at the birth at that time.

DS birth was super quick (albeit as natural as an induction at 43 weeks can be!) and I am expecting the same quickness this time around.

[sorteep]

my oldest will be almost 17 (youngest almost 7) so he will hold down the fort at home (unless it is school time then we might have pick up bus issues.. ) my mIL can help cover that if necc, we also live in a great cohesive neighborhood so a friend/ neighbor is always an option, we are so lucky to have so many options

I REALLY wanted a homebirth with Evan and still do but DH is totally freaked by it, we had a great hospital birth exp so will do same this time, I think.. and we are TOTAL non intervention down to no eye drops or vit K or seperation . no circ etc and they were great, so it should be OK
Laura EDD 11/7/07

[HoneyNBenNKids]

Aimee...

Get a sibling doula or get a teen from church to watch Theo. At your appointments tell them you wanted to know if they'd be willing to hold him in the room while doing appointments. My son and daughter are 17 months apart....I sympathise with you. My first was cruising at 5 months so he's VERY active. I simply asked my CNM if she would ask a nurse to hold/play with him so I could ask a few questions. This worked pretty well...I would get questions answered if I called, and they nurses still know us after all these years. Of course...we're going homebirth this time around, but, that really helped and it made Tyler really comfortable with my CNM since I was having Rhea in the BC where he was going to be too.

And, tell your doula she's being a snot. you decide her role...if she's a volunteer doula or a paid...she's at your birth and that's an honor. Now, you can't be expecting her to watch Theo and give counter pressure, but...seriously...I doubt you were expecting that. I'd get a new doula. Sounds like a ...snot. (Shhh...fellow doulas shouldn't complain about others, but really... that's not asking too much.)

Look for a homeschool'd teen...now that's some great science experience right there...she can learn about the anatomy/physiology, the special needs, the needs of the sibling...you could help her gain a new understanding & appreciation.

Honey

[Momma Aimee]

Thanks Honey

I am working so many angles

I looked for a Moms Mornign Out program -- for appts -- but get this (I found this odd, maybe no one else will) -- all of them enroll in MACRH but don't start till Sept. Only one takes kids under two. but doesn't matter....I am not going to pay a fee to enroll,a nd fight for a spot, in somehting i can't use. I'd ahve to go with him first 2 or maybe 3 weeks.....that is ALL of Sept. the baby (with + or - 2 week) could be here in teh 20's of Oct. that is a lot of BS for maybe 4 weeks... maybe 6. I will not be driving him 45 minutes to town (at 9 am) AFTER THE BABY...so .............the MMOP ideas are out.

Still looking for a mother's helper - babysitter. HS would be perfect, cuz then i could MAYBE get 3 or 4 hours an afternoon -- hoping to build up to 5 or 6 hours once a week over the summer. I e-maile the Y -- they don't be babysitter classes any more (going to look at some kind of community ed, if i can find one or ARC) but the lady said she'd share my contact info with her staff -- who frequently babysit. no word yet.

I will be reworking my Doula stuff -- still so many don't bother to retrun e-mails or phone messages.....and the one who thought i was being demaning is out. i don't get it though, we talked by phone 2X and e-mail 3 or 4 then we met. She told me to think about my last birth, what i needed differenty (either cuz it didn't work last time, or cuz i am a 2nd time mom this time). She told me to think about what worked and didn't last time, and things i'd like to think about for this time. .... then she tells me i am too demanind and needy?????? BTW aren't ALL BIRTHING MOMS NEEDY????

still working on it all.............

[HoneyNBenNKids]

Aimee....

I have to say...I'm not liking that doula.... When you say it that way I hear...'You birthed wrong...lets fix it this time...'

Perhaps I'm just hormonal though.

Check churches. Ask them to say something in the High School class and the Ladies class. Check at the High School....talk to the home ec teachers...if you've a teen moms set up at the high school, a lot of times there are volunteers in there...perhaps someone knows some one...and at least you know you could get weekend & afternoon/evening support. Some may even just miss school for the birth. I know I did when I was in school! ;) See what becomes of those kind of girls?...they become doulas who plan on becoming midwives! ;)

Honey

[JamesMama]

We will definatly do one night only at the hospital. I'm not staying in that place any longer than necessary to get it paid by my insurance (they won't pay if you leave AMA...:lol although I'd be willing to bet my midwife would discharge me sooner than normal)

I've talked to my mom, she'll come get James and stay at our place...that way James has his bed and his toys and stuff. My mom'll even cosleep lol

[scheelimama]

Well, we are about 99% sure my dh will be deployed at the time this baby is born. So, I won't have his help. I'm highly considering home birth, but haven't ruled out a birth center birth. Either way, I will have a friend or my mom there with the kids. I want my kids to experience the birth if they want to. I know my older dd won't have it any other way, even if it's the middle of the night. They will be 3 and 4.5 at the time of birth. And even if we do a birth center birth, we will come home within hours of the birth, so I don't anticipate being gone for more than 6-8 hours.

[Momma Aimee]

We will definatly do one night only at the hospital.

us two -- have not talked to OB about it yet.

But our plan is to stay one night or two based on

-- time of birth

-- my recovery

-- how the baby is

I am going to be upfront that we are considering only one night away from Thoe.

However Mercy -- one of the Two hosptials we can choose -- had double beds in recovery (still move rooms there) -- sooooooooooo if we had to stay another night, Theo could come stay with us (not sure how that would go over....)

[marisa]

I'm birthing at home so my mom or my MIL will probably hang out with the kids during the birth. Last time they were a little freaked by my screaming (Gigi was 9.5 pounds and my hardest one yet!)