Pushing--What's it like?

[Serenity]

Any experienced moms want to explain? I've read in various places that you don't need to push at all, that you do need to push and hold your breath, that you need to push in a certain way. It's all very confusing. In bradley class they say to take 2 deep breaths, hold the 3rd and push for 5 seconds. This seems so forced. I guess I'm wondering what does pushing feel like? Did it come naturally to you or did you use a particular method that you learned? Is it hard to do?

Our Bradley teacher also said we should expect with our first birth to push for 2 hours. That seems like so long! And exhausting. Maybe I'm just totally naive. :eek:

[jenoline]

I took Bradley class, too. Here is my experience...When I pushed I tried to take the 2 deep breaths, then push on the third - I'm honestly not sure if I did that each time or not. It came pretty naturally - you will KNOW when it is time to push. Also, my pushing did take about 2 hours, but the time went really fast - when busy and working really hard at something the time goes pretty quickly. Other people from my class only pushed about 45 min or so. I have heard other people that pushed for much longer, though. Good luck! :)

[leafylady]

With the birth of my son, I labored for 4 hours and pushed for 2. I was not watching the clock. I didn't perceive it as going slow or fast. Time just doesn't pass like that.

For me, I described pushing like "shitting a brick". A friend of mine said the same thing but replaced brick with truck. I didn't perceive it as painful, just like incredibly hard work and yes it was exhausting. I've seen it compared physically to running a marathon in some type of medical article. Labor and pushing can literally take that much work. The exhaustion is replaced by exhausted exhilaration when you have your babe in arms.

I did not consciously control my breath. The breathing did seem to come instinctually. The midwife asked me to do 4 pants and then a strong push for the last push- which worked out fine. That's the only actual breathing that she asked me to do. I also took the Bradley classes and found them invaluable.

I labored in the side lying position described in one of the Bradley books. I pushed laying partially on my side. When I was sitting up, it was incredibly painful in my lower back (like a knife), so the midwife suggested going back to a side lying position for pushing. That worked. I never did try squatting- don't know why.

[kama'aina mama]

well, I think there are two questions here... one is what is giving birth like and the other is about pushing. Giving birth was a lot like passing a Mack truck, but for me, pushing was awesome! I felt so powerful and in control. I was the queen of the universe and I felt great!

I also took Bradley classes and am glad I did. I can understand your concerns about how mechanical it may sound when memorizing it from your book, but it's like learning to run hurdles from reading about it. If you sat and memorized it 'run 13 strides, breath thus and so, on the 14th stride kick your right leg up, blah, blah, blah...' but then you get out on a track with hurdles and go..Oh! Now it makes sense. The thing that is hard to explain is the need to push.. it is intense and it hurts (for many women, anyway) not to push when you are having strong pushing contractions and it feels sssoooooo good to push!

I'm not sure to this day how long I pushed... between 45 minutes and 2 hours is all I can say for sure. It is hard work and some women actually manage to doze off between contractions, although I didn't. The hard work factor is why Bradley recommends you exercise in advance and rest and eat during the early parts of labor. I can't believe I would have felt nearly as good if I had fasted and not had water during my labor.

You are going to be great. Don't worry, it will all make sense.

[daylily]

Funny, I've pushed out 4 babies and even with the last baby, I couldn't get my act together when it was time to push. Except for my first baby, I felt no strong urge to push. Maybe it was the Lamaze class I took that made pushing involve all this complicated counting and breathing. I have noticed that with the first baby, the pushing doesn't hurt, exactly, but with subsequent babies it hurts a lot. I hate the typical scene where everyone in the birthingroom is screaming "push! push! push!" like you're at a football game or something. With my first baby, the doctor got held up and everyone was telling me NOT to push, but the baby descended anyway. Once the doctor got there, I pushed maybe two times--for about 5 minutes total and out came ds. So, I don't think you MUST push with every ounce of your strength if you don't want to. But you might want to. This might not be satisfying advice, but the best thing to do is see what your body tells you to do when the time comes.

[cosmos]

I had a hospital birth and an epidural for my first baby. For me pushing was extremely painful bc the medication was wearing off (don't plan on going that route again) It really helped that my midwife instructed to take a deep breath and let it out, then take another deep breath and push like hell. I've seen women on that show a baby story who don't take the in-between breath and I wonder if they feel like fainting eventually!? I had hand holds and also used a birthing stool part of the time and after dd was born I could not hold her in my arms because I had lost all strength. I guess you could say I have never done that strenuous of physical labor ever before. Many people described it to me that they finally felt good because they had something to focus on or "do". oh, the whole thing really is like trying to "shit a brick" like someone else mentioned :blush It really seems quite unnatural to be pushing so hard...

[peggy]

I have had six babies and pushing is my favorite part of labor. To me it wasn't painful, it felt good to do it. It is exausting though. The best advice I've recieved on pushing was to focus the push in the right area. Gritting your teeth, clenching your fists. even using your voice to "push" wastes energy.
Another reason I loved pushing was that it meant it was almost over and I'd be holding my baby soon!

peggy

[Erin Pavlina]

The thing about pushing for 2 hours is that when you're 10 centimeters, your contractions stop coming so close together. Mine were coming 5 to 7 minutes apart, so I was resting for 5 to 7 minutes in between.

I cut down on my pushing time by turning around in a squat against the back of the bed (sort of a poop position if you will). That moved the baby 2 centimeters in just a couple of pushes. Then my legs went numb and I had to lay on my back.

I only pushed for 1 hour and 10 minutes (the clock was right in front of my face), but only had to push maybe 12 times total.

I felt no urge to push. If they hadn't put that mirror up in front of me I wouldn't have believed I was making any progress. Try to get a mirror. It makes a world of difference in your resolve to keep going.

[fourlittlebirds]

Ooh, one of my favorite subjects!

I do not beleive that forced pushing is necessary, and I believe that "10 cm.=full dilation= time to push" is a myth. What, is the idea that the baby is never going to come out unless it's forced out? Ridiculous! And who decided that 10 cm. is the magic number anyway! It's so completely illogical to assume that all women's bodies are exactly the same, it makes me crazy to even think about it. Here is a great article on first-time pushing:

http://www.midwiferytoday.com/articles/default.asp?t=pushing

I also cannot stand the notion that second stage of labor should be treated like an athletic event with rules no less!

My advice: do not make a conscious effort to push. Wait until your body is already doing it, and if you have an urge to bear down, by all means do so.

My first birth the midwife had me pushing at 10 cm -- well, as the baby and my body were not ready for it, it took two hours of pushing. She was also coaching me on breathing -- lord, how distracting is that -- and exhorting me not to grimace or make loud noises, which of course was what I felt like doing. The whole time I was expected to fight against my body's natural impulses. Oh yeah, that makes sense. Sheesh!

For my second and third births I didn't even check dilation, just let my body do its thing, and I roared and changed positions half a dozen times and roared some more, and oh my what a big surprise, pushing was quick and physically easy (though extreme physical action.)

All right, rant over, and I'll answer your question :) , what was pushing like? The first time it was like hell. I was on my back, with back labor, and it was unbearable. I was so caught up in just surviving the pain that I never did feel my baby moving down through me. It was all sheer brute effort, and it felt like I was pushing all my organs out along with the baby.

Second and third times... pushing was glorious. I have never felt such a strong biological imperative (well, except maybe when conceiving. ;)) It felt good that my body was doing what it was supposed to do, it felt good to be just letting it happen. The sensuality of it was incredible. I don't mean that I was sexually turned on, but it was pleasurable in the way that, for instance, having your back scratched or sinking into a hot bath is pleasurable. Only a thousand times more intense. It does feel a little bit like having a bowel movement, in that your muscles are bearing down and pushing out. And then, when the head reaches the perineum, the ring of fire. A definite burning sensation, but it is over quickly, and the relief and release as the body slides out. Quite amazing.

[lunarmomma]

I had been laboring in the tub for a good while, an hour or more...
Suddenly I felt this weird sensation, like when you are going to throw up, the part about someone pushing on your tummy and your back at the same time?
Well it was totally involuntary. I wasn't even sure that it was pushing. I had to have my DH call in the midwife to tell me!! it was absolutely something I could not control. I got out of the tub to give birth, as I didn't feel I had comfortable leverage for my feet. I sat up on the bed. My midwife and her assistant asked me to push about three times per contraction.
Important thing to remember is to tuck your chin down. This pushes the energy down below.
I pushed for maybe 45 minutes.. Seemed like 10. Who knows, I was in the zone. The time thing only comes up later on when they tell you how long things took. If you can surrender into being primal birthing woman and go with the flow, trust your body you will not be in any space where time remotly matters! That is for left brain thinking folks! And believe me, you will not be thinking while you are birthing. Hopefully you will be in a place where you feel safe, the lights are dim/low and you are not in a space where you have to defend yourself against anything. Noise, bright lights, distractions, people coming in and out with their own agenda strongly interfere with the smooth progression of labor. (Insert vote for homebirth here:o )
Anyway it helped me to focus on my third eye from the inside when I was having really strong contractions. But thinking about it wasn't an option.
You just have to go with the flow, wherever it takes you!
Don't worry about it, trust yourself, you can do it!
All the best,

[lil' love]

I loved when it was time to push! I knew that it meant I was almost done. PLus, when I began to feel the unbelievable urge to push, my contractions no longer hurt. I felt much more in control of the situation all the sudden. Before, the contractions were so overwhelming and I had NO control.

Anyhow, I didn't take any classes that instructed me how to push so I just did what felt natural to my body. When I felt the urge to push, I did, but very mildly. I pushed as much as I felt my body was telling me to and I did not overdue it. I pushed for about 15 minutes and I didn't tear :) But I also have to credit my dh for giving me perineal massage through out my labor.

I can't stand watching those birth shows where the OB instructs the mother to push even in between contractions. That just seems so unnatural and it looks like it hurts!

[Milo]

Yeah, the part about passing a Mack Truck sounds about right....but I also found pushing to be the easiest part of labor...
because my baby really was almost here.

I couldn't not push when the bearing-down sensation began - I pushed for 5 hours with my first, and only about 30 minutes with the second, and it didn't seem to be that much different, nor did it seem more than a few minutes, either time. A couple times, the midwife would ask me not to push, and that was the hardest thing I have ever had to do - truly, it took all the self-control I had to not join in with the work my body was doing.

I didn't try any breathing techniques, only was reminded by DH and the midwife to "breath for my baby" and not hold my breath. The contraction would start, I would bear down with it, and then it would stop and I would rest.

[daylily]

What you said about the mirror makes sense, Erin, but it made me laugh. When I was pushing with my second baby, the Dr. brought over a big mirror and told me I had to watch. And I was like, "Gaaah! I don't want to look at that!" The sight of myself was kind of frightening. Anyway, I found the pain to be pretty overwhelming and I made a general announcement that I just couldn't push anymore. So the doctor said, "Well, you can't walk around like this." And the absurdity of that idea sank in (there was that mirror there) so I started to laugh and dd popped out with one more push.

[emmalala]

I pushed for 2 hrs w/1st - didn't have an irresistible urge to, but it felt right when I did. The contractions sort of fed into the pushes, so when a contraction came, I could use it to push with. Midwife did not yell push, she said "keep it keep it keep it" which made sense at the time.

[PM]

I started to push when I felt like it. I didn't listen to the damned doctor, just myself. It felt great! It was the only way for me to relieve the pain. I loved pushing! The only thing I wish I had done was learn how to push properly. I popped every blood vessel in my face and looked like crap for over a week! All red like I had acne or something! :D I also got a bad case of hemmorhoids (I'm pretty sure I "pushed" them out! ooh gross!)that really debilitated me during my stay in the clinic.

Edited to add:
I labored for 5 hours, pushed for 2. It's WAS exhausting! But there we were at 7 am, next to the window, and the sun was rising right as I pushed her out. That's the thing I'll remember forever; all the pain was washed away by the sun shining through the window!

[Milo]

Oh, ParisMaman -Ouch! I was only ruptured two little tiny blood vessels, in the white part of each eye, with my first. I was very, very surprised that I didn't give myself hemmorhoids.

My midwives tried to show me how to push with the first baby - she put her fingers in my vagina and told me to "push against this" I just couldn't figure it out. My DH say my confusion, and put his hand on my bottom, and said " Honey, push like you need to poop really bad" THAT I could understand!

[zealsmom]

I pushed for 10 minutes, 3 pushes and out he came! But I held on for a very long time before actually doing any pushing.
It was definitely the easiest part of that 20 hours!

But I don't think one can actually describe the sensation. It's exactly like you are passing a 7lb (or more or less) squiggly wiggly beautiful baby! AMAZING!

Thanks for asking (it brought back so many wonderful memories - like mom standing at the foot of the bed with the camera as dh kissed and massaged me waiting for this miracle to appear) and I can't wait to hear how it was for you.

[lilyka]

pushing is great because it means it is almost over. I pushe for 9 min. with my first one and 12 with my second on but I had no space between my contractions.

When it is time to push you won' t be able to stop it.

IYou push the smae way you would push a turd out. Same feeling, same musckes.:)

good luck.

[Serenity]

Thanks everyone for your replies! I think I was over-intellecutalizing it all a bit. Seems like the best thing is just to listen to your body and do what feels right at the time.

Sweetwater, thanks for the link to that article, that was awesome! :cool:

[fourlittlebirds]

You're welcome!

A few more comments:

It's pretty commonly accepted in both obstetrics and midwifery that the mother is in transition when the contractions are on top of each other and the mother goes into a "laborland" sort of trance. But my contractions never got closer than a few minutes apart and I was completely lucid throughout. Imagine my surprise when suddenly my body was pushing the baby out! And I've since read many other stories of unhindered labors in which labor progresses in the same way.

It is also common for the mother to get to that point where the contractions are on top of each other, but if she does not push at that time, the labor will soon after slow down. I think Gloria Lemay talks about this in that article? I don't remember, it's been a while since I've read it. Anyway, this happened with my second birth, and it was wonderful because it gave me a rest before the intensity of pushing.

Also, you mentioned breathing techniques... this is something else that I don't believe in. :) It may be helpful in maintaining control over an unnatural situation, I don't know. What I do know is that in a normal birth in which the mother is not being burdened with stressful outside influences, the body will take care of itself. If going "he he he ha ha ha" during labor was what our bodies truly needed, we would already have the instinct to do so.

[lunarmomma]

Yeah, the blood curdling screams that came out of me when I was pushing were nothing I ever knew I had in me!! I wasn't screaming because of pain, it was just a primal force that came out of me.
I had no control over it whatsoever...

[daylily]

I totally agree about the breathing, Sweetwater. My SIL is a Lamaze instructor and she was a doula to me for 2 of my births. It was great having a woman along to support me, but I got impatient with the breathing patterns. The second time, I escaped to the shower and stayed there, alone, until I was in transition. Lamaze was great for the women of the '60s who were being routinely anesthetized, but it seems a little old fashioned now(IMO).

Screaming: Wow! I'm glad I'm not the only screaming mama out there. I'll never forget the doctor telling me not to make so much noise when I was pushing out my third baby. I wish I'd have kicked him. During my fourth labor, my midwife was much more reassuring and told me it was normal to scream, but I felt a little disappointed in myself.
Edited to add that my Lamaze instructing SIL finally quit in despair. She was fed up with women asking "How far do I have to be dilated before I get my epidual?"

[bebe luna]

pushing...
I think that pushing is where it gets pretty darn painful!!!
I pushed soo hard- I was determined to get that baby out as quick as possible!! I pushed for 30 minutes.
It just seemed natural to me to push hard and consistantly. My midwife and doula kept saying to me that it was okay for me to take more and longer breaks between pushing sessions, but I just wanted the baby out!
I had no tearing or ripping and felt great after my son was born.
I think every womans birth experience is different- she has different needs, so does the baby.
Trust your body, your instincts, and the process of birth! You will do a great job!!

[fourlittlebirds]

Making noise. Yeah. My first midwife was really put out that I wasn't behaving like one of the 'ladies' in Spiritual Midwifery. :rolleyes: She kept trying to convince me that growling, whimpering, swearing, yodeling, grimacing, etc., was just going to slow the process down. Unfortunately I thought she must know what she was talking about, after all she was the "expert", so I tried like hell to get myself under control. I am now really bitter about that, because I now know that raging through birth was what I needed to do to for it to progress normally. And how empowering and freeing it was once I figured out that my instinctual response to my labor was valid. No ladylike labor for me, thank you very much.

[Zoepie]

Well when I went into labor it wasnt that painful so my midwife told me I was in early labor. So when I started to push I thought I had to poop. SO I got on the toilet and started to push.. WHen I realized I was pushing for a baby not a poop I called my midwife to get there right away and had to 'resist' the urge to push for 30 min. From what I understand pushing is compared to 80 pounds of pressure pushing on your tummy. Now while pushing I grunted and yelled it wasnt because it was painful I feel as though I was releasing incredible amounts of pressure and energy and a nothing like a good yodle or scream to release tension and energy. It was the resiting that was uncomfortable. And towards the end I could resist anymore my husband started laying out the mats and pads and getting ready to deliver this baby himself.. LOL he looks so scared. So I have to agree with most the other moms that it feels like a very big very emotional poop. Well until the crowning then it burns:)
Michelle

Edit: I agree with bebe luna.. trust your instincts and go with the flow.. your body really does know what to do.

[2boys1girlsmom]

Pushing for me was involuntary. I was hoping it would work out that way, that if I just let my body do its work, things would go the way they were supposed do, and that's what happened. It was as though I just couldn't NOT push. Her head was out in 2 pushes and the rest of her followed with the third. It was an amazing feeling after being numb for the births of my boys.

Oh, and regarding yelling and screaming, that was also involuntary. I think it helped too, even though after the fact I was a little concerned about what the neighbors might have thought!!!

[Milo]

Yeah, I've warned the people who will be assisting us that I don't swear, but I do get loud....and don't expect to be given a hard time about it. Definetly not "ladylike" in my experience...but very powerful.

I have experienced that "laborland trance" with both previous babies, and also found the breathing to be worthless.

[Wildflower]

I'm a little confused, or in awe, of my pushing experience...When I felt the urge until she was born was only 10 minutes and it felt like 2! Everyone said I pushed her out in 3 contractions, but my internal feeling was that I did not push it out, I did not think about or try to push at all! It was like she herself or my uterous did the whole thing automatically, completely independent of my will. You know, it really hurt, but only because I tore, not the pushing itself, but I think I'm really glad it went so fast...I had been drinking gallons of red raspberry (iced) tea in that last month and during labor, and this tea is renown for toning the uterus and just helping with labor in some mysterious (to me) way...but now I'm thinking that maybe my super-toned uterus was so strong it just pushed her out without me helping! It was miraculous! But I totally can't relate to these tales of hours of marathon pushing! My warm thoughts are with you for a beautiful birth! Remember you're a goddess, and you are one!

[marymary]

Oh, oh, oh, - I've had 2 drugfree vaginal births, no tears, my third is several months away, it's really good to hear that your uterus can just do it's thing. I've been putting labour thoughts to the back of my mind. I did feel that I pushed the baby(s) out, doesn't it feel like the most 'alone' time in the space/time continuum.That's not to say it's a bad feeling but there's no-one but you and your babe and I remember being struck by that the first time. We are incredibly lucky. My gran described it as that 'rolling' and it is just like the ocean. My second midwife said that some ladies were completely silent, others sang hymns and rubbed her arms, and the ones that looked like Princess Anne were the foulest-mouthed! Somebody, Was it Parismaman? said that the sun rose as she gave birth, With my first son, we were taken up to the 15th floor overlooking the river thames and Tower Bridge as a full moon rose! In spanish you say 'dar se luz' for birth, 'giving light', it's so wonderful, however it happens. Incidentally a woman I know gave birth without knowing she was pregnant (honest!) just goes to show there must be a big psychological coupling to the birth process, anyway, enjoy it, it's truly amazing, ah yes pushing, hmmmn, I'm not going to bother this time! Hopefully it'll all flow smoothly along x

[Britishmum]

Regarding the length of labour - put that out of your mind! I pushed for three hours and twenty minutes. (I ignored all the cheerleaders and told them that if they said 'good job' once more I'd hit someone)

When dd was finally born I looked at the clock and said 'Wow, that was quick, only twenty minutes!" Everyone was stunned that for me, the additional three hours just hadn't existed. After that I had a new lease of life, and wanted to eat, eat, eat, and eat some more.

Then I found out that while I was in labour, Dh had eaten the bar of English chocolate I'd saved for this moment. I have never quite forgiven him.......!!!

[clover]

I don't have time to read all of the posts so forgive me if I repeat what others have said. This is my experience. When It came time to push it was awhole different thing than the labor before. The contractions really spaced out. I definately had no choice but to push. The contractions came and my body took over. forgive me if it sounds crude but it is like having a very intense bowel movement. ya know if you don't push your body will just push for you. I pushed for a very very long time, I had a big baby 9.8lbs with a huge head!!!! so I was very tired at the end and really needed the support of my partner I think I really wrenched his back pulling on him for strength to push, but it was the better part of labor for me. Hope this anserws your questions and goodluck!

[serenetabbie]

Ummmm...okay. With ds it was a long, slow affair. He had his hand up on his head and got "caught" up in there for a bit, so I think that made it a little more painfull than it needed to be. I pushed for 2.5 hours with him...almost had an assisted birth! The way I described labor and pushing to a friend right after he was born was "like lightning...very hot feeling". In retrospect I said it felt like the sort of abdominal cramping you get with diarreah. With ds it was all so fast...I was in labor for about 5 hours or less...threw up and pushed her out 15 minutes later! Her labor never got worse that feeling of bad menstral cramps or gas. I had no classes as my midwife assured me I would be able to do it when the time came. I agree with the "rolling ocean" anaology. I found it helped to scream...But I am a vocal person no matter what! My doula w/dd really helped a lot by telling me to make "low growling noises"....it wastes less energy. Pushing really is a huge relief...you know the end is near and your body just takes over! For me crowning hurt the most...that felt like someone lit my bottom on fire! But it lasts only for a moment and then that baby comes sliding out!!! Good luck and speedy delivery! :)

[marymary]

serenetabbie, thanks for reminding me that crowning only lasts a 'minute' .

with ds1 the midwife said to 'push down into your bottom', DON'T! I'm sure that gave me piles, with ds2 I was able to focus on my diaphragm amd push down through the muscles as if they were a brick wall and that way I really felt like I got on top of the baby and helped him out, 3 almighty pushes later. There is something rather odd about straining to such a degree I agree and really hope that things will be even better this third time. Good luck ít's still the most wonderful thing there is.MM

I'd just like to add a lovely thing my best friend, mother of 3 said to me when I was pregnant with my first, that 'if it was that bad women wouldn't do it twice'.

[lunarmomma]

Check out "Isabellas waterbirth story" in the Homebirth forum,
It is a long, but wonderful birth story and has excellent detail of all the pushing potential...

[KareninCT]

Serenity, I'm glad you asked.

Everyone, thank you so much for those glowing, joyous words about pushing. I'm TTC #2 and had a horrible experience with pushing #1. It's the one thing that truly scares me about giving birth again. Thank you for reminding me that it is possible to have it work just like it should. I will keep trying to remember all of your goddess-like descriptions of power.