dancingmama
05-27-2003, 06:39 PM
I wrote this about a week after Eva's birth:
At 3:30am on September 2, 2002, I woke with a little leaking. I thought it might be amniotic fluid, but wasn’t sure. There was a tiny bit of bloody mucus in the toilet, and a little pink when I wiped – turned out to be a bit of the mucus plug. I started to get excited – I had been saying I’d go into labor on Labor Day, and maybe this was it! I was 41 weeks and 1 day pregnant. I had a hard time going back to sleep, with excitement and mild contractions, not much different than I’d been getting for a few days. Randy stirred, and I told him what was going on and he said “are we having a baby today?” I finally fell asleep around 5:30, and woke again at 8:00 am. I continued to have mild contractions for the morning, but they were different – maybe more regular or noticable or crampy. Around 9:00 am I called the midwife, Marilynne, and gave her the update. I asked her “am I going to have a baby today?” and she said to be patient, that these were all good signs that things were progressing, but it could be today, or it could be in the next few days. She said to call back between 3:00 – 5:00 with an update. So I tried to go about my morning like nothing was different, to normalize the day, so I didn’t get my hopes up. Catherine called and I told her what was up, and assured her that it seemed like something was different, but it could still be a few days even.
Around 11:00am, the contractions started getting more noticable. I would stop and breathe through them. Nothing too painful, but nothing to ignore either. Randy was cooking risotto in preparation for BBQ that evening with Bill and Becky. But B&B cancelled, and so I encouraged him to bring them some. I went upstairs and tried to watch Law and Order reruns on cable, and rest. I could feel that the baby was posterior – I had been battling the posterior position for several days now. So I would lie on my side and push the butt toward the front of my belly, and then get on hand and knees for a while to let gravity help. I was soooo determined NOT to have a posterior labor! And it worked. At some point, I started having to vocalize a bit during contractions, which were occuring every 6-10 minutes. Things were intensifying quickly. Around 2:00, I was on my hands and knees in the hallway, vocalizing loudly during contractions. We called the midwife again. She asked if I wanted her to come over and be checked. I was having a hard time figuring out what I wanted…. I didn’t want to have a dilation check and be told I was only at 2cm, so I equivocated…. She asked to talk to Randy, and she heard me make my way through several contractions. She told Randy that I couldn’t really make decisions anymore and he’d have to. She said he could get me in the pool for 20-30 minutes, but get me out if my contractions slowed down. I was also hesitant to have her come over because I was thinking I had a long way to go, and I was still trying to “normalize” a bit, and prepare for a long haul.
In the meantime, I was definitely working hard. I told Randy to call my mother and Catherine. He held the bucket for me as I threw up the plums and peaches I had eaten earlier. It was getting harder. He went to fill up the pool, but was having a hard time with the hose – the sink was shallow and he couldn’t get the hose to fit tightly to the attachment. Poor Randy, he was really hurrying! I was in my bathroom alternating between the floor and the toilet, working very hard, lots of pain, not aware of time. Finally he got the pool filled up. It was a little hot, but it felt so good to get in. Randy would get the bucket for me when I needed to be sick, and I’d hold his forearms for contractions, and he’d put juice or water in front of me to sip. At some point, maybe around 4:00, he called the midwife again and said things were picking up and maybe she should come over. Actually, I think his words were “Julie’s getting a bit more uncomfortable” !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Not exactly how I’d describe it J I don’t think he realized how close we were – he was also thinking we had a longer haul. I don’t think he knew how much pain I was in – turns out we were in transition! I heard myself saying “I can’t do this Randy, I can’t do it.” I knew that’s what women said in transition, but it all seemed so soon. The pain was incredable. It was all-encompasing, and it took every bit of strength I had just to get through each contraction. I rested well against the side of the pool in between contractions. At one point, I reached out of the pool – as if trying to escape the pain, sending a cascade of water onto the floor, with Randy looking a bit forlorn. But mostly, I just went along for the ride. I didn’t fight it, I wasn’t afraid of it, but I was really feeling like I could not tolerate it any more. I started getting really hot, and Randy suggested getting out of the pool. I was on my hands and knees on the floor and then with a contraction, I heard my breathing change. I said “Randy I think I’m pushing!” He had great surprise in his voice, and said “you’re pushing?? Um, let’s get you back in the pool!” He paged Marilynne again and left a voicemail that said I was pushing – that was about 4:15.
At some point, Mickey (the other midwife) called. It turns out she was on call because the only available apprentice was Amanda, who was just starting out and could only be a third attendee. I heard Randy on the phone with her, updating her on our progress. I didn’t know Mickey was to be involved, and thought he was talking to my cousin and couldn’t figure out why on earth he was talking on the phone while I was pushing and told him to get off the phone! Little did I know, Marilynne had paged her with our number as call-back, because when she got Randy’s second message that I was pushing, she high-tailed it over, not wanting to wait for Mickey’s call. Marilynne arrived around ten till 5. Mickey and Amanda each came in soon thereafter. Someone checked me and said the head was most of the way through the birth canal already! She could feel it, and a bag of waters. The presence of the midwives was wonderful. Suddenly there were these soothing women around, giving me encouragement and telling me how wonderful I was doing. Mickey had her face and lips on my shoulder and I’d lean into her, and her skin felt so good, as if restoring me between the pains. Her tending and gentle touches were so soothing. The voices of the midwives were incredably grounding and reassuring – it makes me want to cry to think about it now. I remember someone putting my hair up better, out of my face, and I remember also being very anxious when anyone wanted to help hold the perineal area – I got jumpy. And I remember occasionally having to reposition myself so they could check the fetal heartrate with the doppler, and we could all hear it. It slowed only once, when the baby was almost out and the head was being compressed I remember someone lighting the candles, and I could smell them, and someone getting my camera and taking pictures – I actually think I had some presence of mind to tell them where the camera was. Randy was keeping cold wet washcloths on me, and he’d squeeze cold water over my head and shoulders between contractions, and it felt so so good! During contractions, I’d get on my knees and hold his forearms and curl up and push. He’d encourage me, and his voice sounded so good, and the midwives told me it was OK to push into the pain, and they’d let me know when to ease up. I started to feel the head come down during a contraction, and then receed back up in between. This happened a few times, and then I felt it come down and stay down. There was commotion, and excitement in the room. I know I said something about feeling burning at some point. And at some point the midwives told me to breathe through a contraction – not push. And then amongst the excitement and commotion and change in energy, I pushed and they saw the head and I pushed and pushed and then I felt her! I felt her slide out of me and it was the most incredible feeling in the world! Randy said she just shot out all at once, as soon as the head emerged. I had been on my left knee, holding onto Randy, with my right leg kind of raised to make room. I heard Randy’s voice – the excitement in it, the laughter in it! And I flipped over and there was this little person, this little writhing, wiggling, warm, wet person placed quickly onto my chest and covered with blankets and a hat and it was my baby! Wow, we did it!!!!! Oh my gosh, this little person was inside me all this time and I didn’t even know what she looked like! And I didn’t know she was a she yet – I lifted her feet and looked and said “it’s a girl!” and looked at Randy and he was smiling and laughing and so happy and I was crying I think and laughing and breathing and it was all such a miracle.
The midwives guided me to push out the placenta, which I did, though I really didn’t feel a contraction or an urge to. They clamped the cord because it had stopped pulsing, and Randy cut it. At some point, he took the baby and I was helped out of the pool. I started shaking so hard, I couldn’t control it – I was cold and weak. They wrapped me up and got me up the several steps to my bedroom, where I was to stay for the next several days. The little champ was nursing within 30 minutes of her birth, and remains a champion nurser! An herbal bath was prepared and I was helped into it – it felt great. And little Eva, our miracle, was given to me in the bath, to be soothed and healed as well. We had my first pee (ouch – burny!), a newborn exam, a perinium exam (one superficial first degree tear, no stitches needed), some post-partum instructions…. Catherine came over and started crying – it was so good to see her! It had happened so fast (well, 9 hours total), she wasn’t able to get here in time for the birth. But she stayed with me, and helped me to and from the bathroom and did best friend things for hours. Eventually, everyone left, and it was just me and Randy and our little Eva – our family – in our bed, holding and resting and nursing and napping and basking in wonderment.
At 3:30am on September 2, 2002, I woke with a little leaking. I thought it might be amniotic fluid, but wasn’t sure. There was a tiny bit of bloody mucus in the toilet, and a little pink when I wiped – turned out to be a bit of the mucus plug. I started to get excited – I had been saying I’d go into labor on Labor Day, and maybe this was it! I was 41 weeks and 1 day pregnant. I had a hard time going back to sleep, with excitement and mild contractions, not much different than I’d been getting for a few days. Randy stirred, and I told him what was going on and he said “are we having a baby today?” I finally fell asleep around 5:30, and woke again at 8:00 am. I continued to have mild contractions for the morning, but they were different – maybe more regular or noticable or crampy. Around 9:00 am I called the midwife, Marilynne, and gave her the update. I asked her “am I going to have a baby today?” and she said to be patient, that these were all good signs that things were progressing, but it could be today, or it could be in the next few days. She said to call back between 3:00 – 5:00 with an update. So I tried to go about my morning like nothing was different, to normalize the day, so I didn’t get my hopes up. Catherine called and I told her what was up, and assured her that it seemed like something was different, but it could still be a few days even.
Around 11:00am, the contractions started getting more noticable. I would stop and breathe through them. Nothing too painful, but nothing to ignore either. Randy was cooking risotto in preparation for BBQ that evening with Bill and Becky. But B&B cancelled, and so I encouraged him to bring them some. I went upstairs and tried to watch Law and Order reruns on cable, and rest. I could feel that the baby was posterior – I had been battling the posterior position for several days now. So I would lie on my side and push the butt toward the front of my belly, and then get on hand and knees for a while to let gravity help. I was soooo determined NOT to have a posterior labor! And it worked. At some point, I started having to vocalize a bit during contractions, which were occuring every 6-10 minutes. Things were intensifying quickly. Around 2:00, I was on my hands and knees in the hallway, vocalizing loudly during contractions. We called the midwife again. She asked if I wanted her to come over and be checked. I was having a hard time figuring out what I wanted…. I didn’t want to have a dilation check and be told I was only at 2cm, so I equivocated…. She asked to talk to Randy, and she heard me make my way through several contractions. She told Randy that I couldn’t really make decisions anymore and he’d have to. She said he could get me in the pool for 20-30 minutes, but get me out if my contractions slowed down. I was also hesitant to have her come over because I was thinking I had a long way to go, and I was still trying to “normalize” a bit, and prepare for a long haul.
In the meantime, I was definitely working hard. I told Randy to call my mother and Catherine. He held the bucket for me as I threw up the plums and peaches I had eaten earlier. It was getting harder. He went to fill up the pool, but was having a hard time with the hose – the sink was shallow and he couldn’t get the hose to fit tightly to the attachment. Poor Randy, he was really hurrying! I was in my bathroom alternating between the floor and the toilet, working very hard, lots of pain, not aware of time. Finally he got the pool filled up. It was a little hot, but it felt so good to get in. Randy would get the bucket for me when I needed to be sick, and I’d hold his forearms for contractions, and he’d put juice or water in front of me to sip. At some point, maybe around 4:00, he called the midwife again and said things were picking up and maybe she should come over. Actually, I think his words were “Julie’s getting a bit more uncomfortable” !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Not exactly how I’d describe it J I don’t think he realized how close we were – he was also thinking we had a longer haul. I don’t think he knew how much pain I was in – turns out we were in transition! I heard myself saying “I can’t do this Randy, I can’t do it.” I knew that’s what women said in transition, but it all seemed so soon. The pain was incredable. It was all-encompasing, and it took every bit of strength I had just to get through each contraction. I rested well against the side of the pool in between contractions. At one point, I reached out of the pool – as if trying to escape the pain, sending a cascade of water onto the floor, with Randy looking a bit forlorn. But mostly, I just went along for the ride. I didn’t fight it, I wasn’t afraid of it, but I was really feeling like I could not tolerate it any more. I started getting really hot, and Randy suggested getting out of the pool. I was on my hands and knees on the floor and then with a contraction, I heard my breathing change. I said “Randy I think I’m pushing!” He had great surprise in his voice, and said “you’re pushing?? Um, let’s get you back in the pool!” He paged Marilynne again and left a voicemail that said I was pushing – that was about 4:15.
At some point, Mickey (the other midwife) called. It turns out she was on call because the only available apprentice was Amanda, who was just starting out and could only be a third attendee. I heard Randy on the phone with her, updating her on our progress. I didn’t know Mickey was to be involved, and thought he was talking to my cousin and couldn’t figure out why on earth he was talking on the phone while I was pushing and told him to get off the phone! Little did I know, Marilynne had paged her with our number as call-back, because when she got Randy’s second message that I was pushing, she high-tailed it over, not wanting to wait for Mickey’s call. Marilynne arrived around ten till 5. Mickey and Amanda each came in soon thereafter. Someone checked me and said the head was most of the way through the birth canal already! She could feel it, and a bag of waters. The presence of the midwives was wonderful. Suddenly there were these soothing women around, giving me encouragement and telling me how wonderful I was doing. Mickey had her face and lips on my shoulder and I’d lean into her, and her skin felt so good, as if restoring me between the pains. Her tending and gentle touches were so soothing. The voices of the midwives were incredably grounding and reassuring – it makes me want to cry to think about it now. I remember someone putting my hair up better, out of my face, and I remember also being very anxious when anyone wanted to help hold the perineal area – I got jumpy. And I remember occasionally having to reposition myself so they could check the fetal heartrate with the doppler, and we could all hear it. It slowed only once, when the baby was almost out and the head was being compressed I remember someone lighting the candles, and I could smell them, and someone getting my camera and taking pictures – I actually think I had some presence of mind to tell them where the camera was. Randy was keeping cold wet washcloths on me, and he’d squeeze cold water over my head and shoulders between contractions, and it felt so so good! During contractions, I’d get on my knees and hold his forearms and curl up and push. He’d encourage me, and his voice sounded so good, and the midwives told me it was OK to push into the pain, and they’d let me know when to ease up. I started to feel the head come down during a contraction, and then receed back up in between. This happened a few times, and then I felt it come down and stay down. There was commotion, and excitement in the room. I know I said something about feeling burning at some point. And at some point the midwives told me to breathe through a contraction – not push. And then amongst the excitement and commotion and change in energy, I pushed and they saw the head and I pushed and pushed and then I felt her! I felt her slide out of me and it was the most incredible feeling in the world! Randy said she just shot out all at once, as soon as the head emerged. I had been on my left knee, holding onto Randy, with my right leg kind of raised to make room. I heard Randy’s voice – the excitement in it, the laughter in it! And I flipped over and there was this little person, this little writhing, wiggling, warm, wet person placed quickly onto my chest and covered with blankets and a hat and it was my baby! Wow, we did it!!!!! Oh my gosh, this little person was inside me all this time and I didn’t even know what she looked like! And I didn’t know she was a she yet – I lifted her feet and looked and said “it’s a girl!” and looked at Randy and he was smiling and laughing and so happy and I was crying I think and laughing and breathing and it was all such a miracle.
The midwives guided me to push out the placenta, which I did, though I really didn’t feel a contraction or an urge to. They clamped the cord because it had stopped pulsing, and Randy cut it. At some point, he took the baby and I was helped out of the pool. I started shaking so hard, I couldn’t control it – I was cold and weak. They wrapped me up and got me up the several steps to my bedroom, where I was to stay for the next several days. The little champ was nursing within 30 minutes of her birth, and remains a champion nurser! An herbal bath was prepared and I was helped into it – it felt great. And little Eva, our miracle, was given to me in the bath, to be soothed and healed as well. We had my first pee (ouch – burny!), a newborn exam, a perinium exam (one superficial first degree tear, no stitches needed), some post-partum instructions…. Catherine came over and started crying – it was so good to see her! It had happened so fast (well, 9 hours total), she wasn’t able to get here in time for the birth. But she stayed with me, and helped me to and from the bathroom and did best friend things for hours. Eventually, everyone left, and it was just me and Randy and our little Eva – our family – in our bed, holding and resting and nursing and napping and basking in wonderment.