The TV: Live Enricher or Brain Vacuum?

[papabliss]

I noticed several other posts in different forums addressing the nature or use of TV. I'm wondering about the roll of TV in your home?

While I am probably one of the most vocal critics of TV in this dotcommune, I would also like to know what people find in TV that keeps it in their homes. Or if you are like our family, never had one, never will.

I should also mention something else that got me thinking about this. Our 3yo dd attends a story hour at the local library. Unfortunately, the library embeds a few minutes of video played on a TV into the hour (personally, I feel that the TV is the biggest competitor with reading so I don’t see a place for a TV in a library). Anyway, when our dd got home, she climbed up on our counter and opened the cupboard doors. Then she climbed down and laid on the kitchen floor looking up at the open cupboard pretending it was really the TV cabinet at the library.

“AAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!” said her father.

[m&m]

Well,

I grew up with TV - not lots - but at least 1 show per day - with mom and dad and bro watching all together - more in the winter than in summer though - Because Winter is too cold here - sometimes (like 4 out of 7 days - you would freeze in 10 minutes or less) it is not fun to play outside - and we do a lot together inside - but TV does provide a nice distraction once in a while. And the educational shows are quite informative.

So, in my home, we do watch tv in the Winter (from Nov to March) - if we ever get the chance to move to a warmer climate, I would love to be outdoors more. Our summers are spent outside most often.

I have also found that the more my dh is away (away most often in Winter - he works and goes to school) we watch more TV, and rent more videos on weekends too. He needs to relax - and that is often his choice.

I have found though that TV can take away some of your own creativity - so we do a lot of imiginative play, crafts, art, and reading.

[PM]

Like I said on the other thread, we use it for old movies and the news. Dd, 22 mos, has never watched.

[Mamaste]

I catch the weather report in the morning (our weather is notorious for changing drastically from day to day and even quicker). Other than that, I'm a "background" user: I'll sometimes put on some crafty-type show or music while I'm eating lunch or folding laundry. DS watches any documentary about insects, amphibians or the sea that we can find. DH watches the most of any of us, and most of that is channel surfing after the kids are in bed at the same time as he's catching up on his reading and doing light research and outlining (he's a writer); we're also usually chitchatting the whole time, too. DH and I are big suckers for anything about ancient civilizations and religions (although our company doesn't offer the History Channel :crap).

[dotcommama]

I think the TV is mostly for my dh and i. I put it on for the kids once or twice a week for a half hour and that's only been recently b/c it's winter and they can't go out and play and are more likely to get bored. After the kids go to bed my dh and i watch, but not every night - more like three nights a week. Usually we just sit on the couch and read a good book after the kids go to bed.

The only time we break the rules is if my 4 yr old ds is sick - I will turn on PBS and let him watch several shows throughout the day. Not that I "plug him in" and ignore him when he's sick. I mostly spend the day in bed with him reading and rubbing his back, etc. . . but if I want to clean up the house, make dinner, etc - then I let the TV distract him so he's not sitting there miserable.

[Rain]

I don't know if you have seen my posts on the other threads about tv, but I am the first one to admit that I am a tv addict. I'm probably the biggest tv fan on these boards. I love it, and will never give it up. I enjoy tv immensely. There are so many different things to watch, from educational documentaries to trash tv. Dh is a tv addict too, with an emphasis on sports, movies and nature shows. The tv, or tv's if dh is home are pretty much on all the time. When no one is really watching, the tv is usually tuned onto a news station.

I am also an avid reader, and read all the time. I don't find that tv interferes with my reading. I enjoy both. I put on childrens shows for ds in the morning for him to watch and I read while he is watching. The funny thing is that ds sees me do that, and he would rather flip through a book himself, than watch tv. (He is too young to read).
The tv is always available for him to watch, and he really shows no interest in watching. He would rather flip through his books (I make sure he has lots of books and magazines) or run around and play. I think that because tv is so available to him he isn't really interested.

I can understand if someone doesn't like tv, and I respect that. For me, I find it very entertaining and I thoroughly enjoy it.

I agree though, that a tv doesn't belong in a library! I've never seen one in my library, and believe it or not, me the tv addict is in the library all the time!!!:)

[paula_bear]

I went for three years without a TV and didn't miss it. Then I got married and DH felt it was time to invest in a TV! Anyway, in our previous home, DH had refinished the attic and made it into the TV room. I didn't spend much time up there during the day because all my "work" was on the floor below. Consequently, DD did not watch much TV during the first 18 months of her life. After we moved, it took another 3 mos. before we got the cable.

Now I allow DD to watch the PBS shows she likes. It helps me to get things done. She tunes in and out - much of the time she is absorbed in play, so I turn off the set. She would much prefer the TV off and Mama playing with her - I try to spend a few hours each day on the floor with her!

We spend a great deal of time reading, so I don't think having a TV is necessarily a bad thing. She gets lots of time outdoors and playing with other children. TV is a very small part of her life, and I hope to keep it that way.

Personally, I enjoy PBS in the evenings as well. I love the nature programs as well as programs focusing on the arts and humanities. I think I have learned from TV, rather than becoming a vegetable watching it. It all depends on the programs one chooses to watch!

[AMum]

I am also a tv addict. It was a constant part of my childhood. I was pretty good about keeping it off when ds was a baby. We even packed it away for quite a while. We used to have two, then we put the bigger one (21") in storage and just kept out the little one (12"). We finally gave the bigger one away when my IL's tv stopped working. Anyway, last winter ds was sick a lot, so we sat & watched a lot of pbs together. We also watched a lot of disney's Dinosaur movie. I hate disney, but ds totally loves dinos and this movie is an all time favorite even though he knows that dinos only live in our imagination. We managed to put the tv away whenever he was feeling good and didn't have it out during spring or summer. But this winter even though ds has not been sick we have been watching even more pbs than last year. At first it was b/c I was pg. and really tired. Now I turn it on when I want to clean or cook. I have created a monster! That monster is me! Even when ds doesn't ask I will offer. WHY?? Dh is hard at work on our basement and we will move the tv downstairs soon. That should really help. I feel like I have no willpower. In my defense, ds is really going through the 2's and is so much "more" than he used to be. We need to get out more even if it means freezing! On the plus side ds has really learned some things from sesame. But, that was never in my parenting plan, so it makes me feel worse, not better.

Ashlea, who is determined to regain control of her viewing habits, tomorrow :o

[laralou]

I chose the last although I wish I could change it. We do so much stuff outdoors but when we are all home on the weekends we generally watch movies or news shows. Now during the week, we turn it off to do school. I want to be tv free even though I am addicted but dh has to have it.
We discussed it before marrying. I have this fantasy of living in a cob hut with no electricity. He had to agree to do this if I still want to someday or I wouldn't marry him. He agreed on the condition that he gets a "pouting shed" out back filled with tv, stereo, etc. He is a total technophile. I can't do my fantasy now because I would miss my computer.

[PM]

You crack me up Lara! Make it a log cabin in the mountains with a professional home cinema out back for the boys, and we can live out our fantasies together!

[laralou]

:thumb PM! I'd be honored to share a cabin with you. Maybe we could alternate caring for the compost toilet and hauling water from the well. Ha!

My whole family thinks I am nuts. In fact the biggest fight I had with my brother was over me wanting a compost toilet-- he said I was certifiably insane. It will probably never come to pass cause I have now discovered how much a dishwasher means to me. I am scared of germies!

[PM]

Well my whole family thinks I'm insane because I'm more than willing to follow Nicolas to Kyrgizstan (known as the Switzerland of Central Asia). I'm more enthusiastic than he is, and it would be for his job! The idea of living in a country that can barely supply its people with hot water just really gets my imagination going!

[laralou]

That is too funny, PM, because dh got a job offer in Haiti for 6 mos and I begged him to take it. I thought it would be a great educational experience for all of us. He now claims that was the first time he knew I was crazy.:bouncy

[Parthenia]

We got tv as a gift after dh's coworkers found out we didn't have a tv (I guess dh left out the fact that we didn't want one.) Luckily we can't get any reception on it, and we won't pay for cable. We do use it to watch videos. I pop in a video after dd has an afternoon snack, then off it goes. My mom seems to think we're depriving dd of a tv fun filled childhood, and sends us kid's videos all the time. I'll ask her to tape things for dh and me to watch occasionally. Most Thursdays I sneak downstairs and watch Friends and later ER with my neighbor.

In our house, it's the computer that's the indisious brain sucker upper.

[PM]

In our house, it's the computer that's the indisious brain sucker upper.

No kidding! Now, besides no TV, we have new computer usage rules (dd is only 22 mos so it's not for her, it's for us adults!): no turning on the computer before breakfast and no computer on weekends unless I have work (far too often).

[laralou]

Hey PM! I have a no computer on weekends too! And most evenings. Dh likes our family time to be "family" and not me and my "imaginary friends." I need the break anyway.

[mother_sunshine]

I personally could do without tv. It's dh that I worry about. As soon as he comes home, it goes on and it doesn't come off until he goes to bed. We inherited a large screen tv from my inlaws and I hate it...dh loves it.

I limit dd to 1 hour of selected shows during the day (honestly because it gives me a break), but it's hard to adhere to that when dh has it on all the time. Luckily he watches nature shows, but I still wish it were off. I call it "the great invader" and I will be happy when it breaks!

[paula_bear]

Wow, I better not let DH hear that y'all have no computer usage nights and weekends. He feels that I ignore him and spend more time w/ my computer friends. I argue that all he does is watch TV and that doesn't interest me... It hasn't become a real problem yet, but I see that we'll need to work out a compromise pretty soon!

[coonmom]

Mother sunshine I'm in a situation similar to yours: ds and I can, and frequently do, go all day without the tv except when I put in a Thomas video when I need to shower. DH on the other hand turns it on as soon as he gets home and often falls asleep in front of it. I'm not as lucky as you to have it on nature shows, though. He likes Sci-Fi and "macho, manly" movies! Poor ds, even he has the good sense to go into the other room when Daddy's watching tv. I have 3 shows a week that I like to try to catch if they're not reruns and sometimes ds watches with me, more times he goes and plays.

I was SOOOO happy yesterday though! DH came home and plopped into his viewing chair as usual and after about an hour the picture went out!!! HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH!:LOL :bgbounce :rotflmao :bouncy :p
It's going to be Monday before anyone can come out to look at it. Pooooooooor dh! Unfortunately we have a small one in the bedroom and he thinks he can keep it running until he falls asleep. I try to make sure ds isn't exposed to tv for at least an hour before bedtime, so this is a problem. I guess I'd better get the guest bed ready!
What bothers me the most is that this is supposed to be an intelligent man I married and he can't see the worthlessness of vegging in front of the tube all night, not to mention being completely blind to the fact that ds does not like to compete with the thing when he is trying to play with daddy or read books with him. I also think it's weak to use "noise" like a tv to run away from your own internal silence (or lack of).
Oh, well, that's my 2 cents worth.
Gin

[laralou]

Originally posted by paula_bear
Wow, I better not let DH hear that y'all have no computer usage nights and weekends. He feels that I ignore him and spend more time w/ my computer friends. I argue that all he does is watch TV and that doesn't interest me... It hasn't become a real problem yet, but I see that we'll need to work out a compromise pretty soon!

That is us too. If I get on the computer for anything, he thinks I am ignoring him-- and he is watching tv too! I just told him that if he will watch something I like I will turn it off. The problem is that I don't like much of what is on; the only show I have left that I like is Friends. But as long as it is something with a plot I'll turn it off, except 24. I know that is a great show but it totally stresses me out. I don't like my blood pressure getting that high over a tv show.

[papabliss]

Originally posted by coonmom
I was SOOOO happy yesterday though! DH came home and plopped into his viewing chair as usual and after about an hour the picture went out!!! HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH!:LOL :bgbounce :rotflmao :bouncy :p

I'm sharing your joy! Too bad your other machine didn't suffer the same fate. Maybe you could "fix" the little one as well.

Cheers!

[mother_sunshine]

Originally posted by coonmom
What bothers me the most is that this is supposed to be an intelligent man I married and he can't see the worthlessness of vegging in front of the tube all night, not to mention being completely blind to the fact that ds does not like to compete with the thing when he is trying to play with daddy or read books with him. I also think it's weak to use "noise" like a tv to run away from your own internal silence (or lack of).
Gin

I hear you Gin, dh is a teacher, has genius IQ (HE says anyway!:LOL ), went to a good school, post-graduate, blah blah blah!, you would think he would see tv for what it is. I also know what you mean about internal silence (or lack of) which is impossible when he's home...and dd competing for Daddy's attention...sigh

What's strange is that he grew up without tv in his home (except at his grandparents'). He also grew up without candy in his home. Now he is a tv addict and, even more so, a candy addict! He says it's because of his childhood but I know it is because he's a grandma's-boy and grandma spoiled him rotten (literally) when he was at her house. So he associates all that stuff to love. I always have to talk to him about doing the same thing to our dd. But that's a different topic now isn't it...

CONGRATULATIONS about the broken picture tube!! I hope that's me one day!!

Michelle

[laralou]

That won't ever be me. Dh eyes the new plasma screens anytime we go to circuit city or some similar place. It is only a matter of time before we have a huge movie viewing room. I will only consent if I get a popcorn machine and a huge leather recliner.

Not to give dh a bad name because given a choice he will always go out and do something rather than watch tv, he is just a huge technophile.

[PM]

Hee hee! My dh recently admitted that he checks out the TVs EVERY time he goes to Fnac (A French bookstore/camera shop/computer store/TV and VCR store). I had no idea! He is a broadcast journalist so he does watch some TV (maybe 2 hours/week) plus some old movies. But from there to needing a home cinema!?

[laralou]

We are serious movie fans and watch several movies a week. We belong to a dvd club where we rent as many as possible for one monthly fee. So it wouldn't be wasted. Then we could get that movie theatre experience without having to sit next to yakkers and sit upright (my biggest pet peeve in theatres is that I come out with a back ache). But STILL!!!!!
I don't think we need a home theatre! He is a total technophile.

[truly_sarah]

Had one in past, don't have one now, wouldn't want one even if it were given to us.

[Dov]

We live in a broadcast shadow; go a km east or west and you get signal... same with radio (although you just have to go out to the car to get radio signal). As a result cable or satellite is the only option.

We ran out of money to pay for cable and satellite costs too much. So, we use this lovely 27" thing as a movie screen (vids and DVD). I'm studying multimedia and screenwriting so movies are a big deal around here. At first not having TV was annoying but the only thing I miss now is the EPL futbol matches on FSW I used to get. So now I just go to local matches and actually go play in the park.

The kids check out vids from the library along with the tons of books (we read more than anything else nowadays) they like to read. They watch movies once a day usually when I'm trying to crunch code or work out m/m projects. My daughter enjoys "reviewing" films for me ever since my Film History class where I had to present films once a week for school. Nothing beats a five year old's POV on the camera techniques employed by Tigger ;) We're trying to impress upon them the idea that TV, film, etc. are just media... one tool of many in a palette that includes being outside, being creative, making music, drawing, painting, playing, etc.

The computer is the workhorse (& my once in a while Mothering Board cruising) so it's where I write and work on multimedia stuff. To feed my need for news, etc., I go online... especially at school since it's broadband there and THAT is way cool. However, all tech gets shut down for 25-26 hours every week on Shabbat and we hang outside. Same goes for holidays.

TV is like anything else in life.. too much of a thing makes it nauseating. We need variety. -Dov.

[DeChRi]

I could use some advice on this. I grew up watching almost no TV. We never had cable, and I really cannot recall watching anything till highschool age. My husband's upbring was polar opposite. They would, and still do have the kitchen TV, livingroom TV, and all 3 bedroom TV's on at the SAME time just for noise. SO in our house, with our almost 3 (tomorrow) yr old dd, we do onlye PBS, and some short tapes, i.e. elmo, dora, blue's clue's, etc. When she was born I was adamant about TV. I didn't want to ban it, but very strictly limit it. My husband and I are yet to reach an agreement. DD watches, in my opinion, to much TV. No one to blame but myself. I am finishing my degree online and it really helps. I could use some advice on ways to cut back without tramatizing my whole family. Dh even agrees it's time to cut back. Please help. Thanks

[truly_sarah]

Well, when we decided to bid our TV goodbye, I waited until the summer, when DS (11) was away at camp (where there are no TVs). He was there for a good many weeks. When he returned, and it wasn't a shock to him because we had discussed it beforehand, there was simply no TV and he had a couple hundred dollars more in his bank account to invest since I had sold them and all of our movies (well, we gave the really good ones away to friends).

Sometimes I rent a DVD and we watch it on my computer. But I use my computer for work so that's limited. We go to the library now once or twice a month on their movie day and watch a movie.

We just returned from a quick overnight trip where there were plentiful TVs and got our fill. I still have a headache from just an hour or two of viewing. OK, maybe it was the driving, or the food, or something. I couldn't really pay attention to the screen but I was amused that my 20 month old liked Barney, just like his big brother did when he was a toddler. We thought it was a hoot.

Don't knock yourself. When I was in grad school and holding down a job, my older son who is now almost 12 went to a day care where they watched a good amount of TV...the news, Barney, Sesame Street, Gilligan's Island, etc. and he's perfectly fine. He's not asocial or anything like that.

When I was in college I was a nanny for a couple of toddlers and when the littlest one was napping and the older one was awake, he would play in his big sandbox while I studied. That worked pretty well. Or I would take them to the park and let them ride their big wheels while I memorized financial equations or whatever for a test...even had group class meetings at McDonald's so they could play in the indoor playground while I had a group meeting.

I work from home now...I tend to try to do the tough stuff when my toddler is occupied by himself or napping. Then do the easy stuff piecemeal in whatever spare moments come my way. When my older son does his math work, we give the little one crayons and coloring books/paper.

How about booktapes? Is your little one old enough to turn the pages when the 'ding' sounds? Or music CDs? I think my favorite movie to pop in when I had to study but my toddler wanted to watch TV was Fantasia. He would play with Legos or his tools and I would do heavy math. If I was doing that now I would choose anything with a Caldecott label on it (like the Eric Carle?? stuff, or Richard Scarry videos, or even Lambchops!) That sort of thing isn't very jarring. you don't have to worry about content very much. It's very calming. I would however provide some props to go along with whatever you're showing them on the screen, so that they can act it out in real life.

Whatever you do, your little ones will accept as reality and adjust. I wouldn't worry too much about it. Do whatever you feel in your gut!

[Thall]

We have TV and cable and a VCR. We all like it and watch it whenever we want. My son has watched TV his whole life, as have my wife and I. Our video store has a special offer-2 kid's videos a day for free! He's watched hundred's - every one in the store, and is now on his second go round (he gets different things out of them now that he's older).

A few things that I wish to say regarding this:
1)Though I was initially suspect of TV viewing, my opinion on this has changed 180 degrees. (Ask about it on the TCS board if you want some really good, and hard to dispute, reasons for supporting TV viewing.)

2) My son (now 4 yrs old) is the most creative and active child that I know. He can make up and remember very complex stories and plots. He has a huge vocabulary, and a very good knowledge of the world for someone his age. Almost every show that he's watched (that he liked) has been played out in many different kinds of stories, puppet shows and role playing. He constantly has ideas for creating his own animation and movies. I cannot see any negative effect from his TV watching. To the contrary, it seems to be a constant source of creative ideas and knowledge.

3) All the really big breakthroughs and exciting new stuff going on in the arts for the forseeable future revolves around integration of the various artistic mediums with the new possibilities of the digital age. One major component of this revolution is the incredible artistic possibilities involved in combining visual art, music, theatre, storytelling, movement, into interactive digital formats (DVD's, games, etc).

I can barely even imagine the possibilities of these new mediums (being an "old school" artist), but I do know that if I don't let my son explore the ways that this stuff is happening now (in cartoons, movies, videos and video games, cable TV, computers and computer games, DVD's, etc) then I am hampering his chances of being involved in this artistic (and economic, and you name it- I think about art 'cause that's what I do) revolution. The younger he's exposed to this stuff, the better chance he has of being able to understand and use it in a positive way. Like other kinds of knowledge, languages, and arts, if you don't get exposed until you're older, it's much harder to understand it in the bone deep way that "native speakers" enjoy.

[TripkeHughes]

we do not have one and will never get one... i truly become another person when there is a tv around (at my parents, for instance). i become inattentive to my dw and ds... it is really bizarre. i am not sure if i miss it so much that i am satiating my appetite or if i am simply giving into the easiness of being entertained... who knows?

nonetheless, for myself, a tv would be a detriment to our relationship.

so i say "no way and never"...

edited to say that this is actually "laGracia" (although it says TripkeHughes, to whom i am married)

[Maracita]

Didn't know where to vote since we had one but since it is just ds and me I don't want one anymore, maybe in the closet to watch a movie every now and then someday...
So I don't have one now, but did before.

[3boys4us]

We have two tvs and one vcr. Dh and I went for 6 years without any tv and loved it. We got finally got tv back about 6 years ago. We watch whenever. The kids watch in the morning and I am addicted to PBS (Frontline, POV, the new WideAngle etc...). The kids are restricted though and it has never been a problem. After getting a "fix" (1/2 hr) they often go the whole day without anymore. We have bigger problem with Gameboys then the tv.

We beleive that moderation is better then none at all. We had neighbors who didn't have any tv and when the kids came to play, that was the first thing they asked to do (watch tv).

There are days we go without "electronic fixes", no tv, no computer, no gameboy etc.. There are days when tv has saved their lives, they're sick, I'm sick , they're tired and I'm making dinner etc...

The one thing I can't stand is when they go over to someone's house and tv, playstation or whatever is part of their playdate. In our house if a friend comes over, you play. TV is for when there is absolutely nothing else to do.

[Moon]

Maeve has always been, from Day One, an observer. Long before I ever switched on the set, she learnt best from watching. Her way of learning seems to be completely visual. Even during handcrafts (sewing) at school, she will watch the teacher do something over and over, and then, once she finally picks it up, does it perfectly.

So yes, I let her watch some really cool telly programmes. Discovery Channel (?) just did a GREAT series called "The Big Blue Earth" that was just absolutely outstanding.

Sophie, my youngest, is definetly a different kind of learner. Even at ten months it's obvious this kid is 100% tactile. If she can see it, she wants to touch it, and manipulate it, and play with it. No way will I be sticking this kid in front of the telly.

My parenting cheat sheet? Not telly........but books on tape. We love 'em. Probably too much.

[El Casey S]

When DS was about 3 we got a TV with a video player and the TV is not hooked up to any outside antennae, it is only for videos. We got it to help DS with his German language comprehension & to give us some periodic grown up evening entertainment (I think we've sen maybe 10 movies together in1 1/2 years. I'm glad we didn't get DS this until he was over 3 - somehow I think he would be less creative - I don't know . . .

[mirlee]

I am with Thall on this one. We have two TVs. We really only wanted one, but when we moved to our new house, the cable guy came before the furniture, so we bought a small set. The small set lives in the kitchen and the larger set is in the living room.


I think that TV is like a lot of things these days. You have to use it wisely and set limits. Sure, there are days when we camp out in front of it with movies. Most of the time it goes on briefly for the show, then goes off.

I probably could live without the tv, but movies and the history of movies is in my profession. I watch some old newsclips or videos practically everyday in the course of my job. I also like to see the news reports even though I feel they are heavily biased.

Right now our son's favorite things to watch are classic Mickey Mouse cartoons from Disney's Treasures series. We have it on DVD so we can control exactly how much he watches.

Sure, tv is harmful if you watch too much of it. Just look at the health factor of sitting for long periods of time with no activity. But moderation is the key. I don't think tv should be eliminated. I also don't want my son to feel completely left out from his peers and miss cultural references. Besides, sometimes I just need to go to the can! ;)

Just my opinion.

Mir

[Cindi]

I find cable TV pretty offensive, and we don't subscribe, but we do get two fuzzy pbs stations, and a local station. I really love the feeling of cuddling together and watching a good show or movie, whether it's dh and me, ds and me, all of us, or just me alone. This morning dh and ds were watching a very peaceful painting show. But just yesterday the power was out 24 hours and we had a really nice time without TV or computer (but I couldn't return a video on time because it was stuck in the powerless VCR!) We started a fire in the fireplace, played guitar, and colored with crayons by candle and firelight, and listened to the storm.

[cumulus]

I'll add something about TV I didn't in the other thread. Robert Putman, the sociologist and author of Bowling Alone about the loss of community in the USA blames television as one of the major causes. If it doesn't just seem logical he's got a ton of statistics and studies to back that claim up. The thing that struck me was what a woman said during a contest wherein familes were paid $500.00 to not watch TV for a month. She said, "It was terrible. We did nothing -- My husband and I talked."

He also hints that it is disruptive to the smallest community, the family. Originally billed as something that would bring families together, it now separates them. Shows, and the commercials that pay for them, are aimed at certain age groups and in many families each member has their own TV. I think the majority of kids have a TV in their room and some feel media pushes children for "guilt money" from their parents to buy what they see on TV; another way it may separate families. Also, especially for children, even if you do not watch, if your peers all want the clothing, food, entertainment, and lifestyle sold to them on TV, you're going to want that stuff too. He points out that when our parents pass away we will essentially be a nation of people wherein everyone grew up with television.

[Pema's Father]

Greetings,

I've been participating in one of the other discussions at MDC currently happening on TV use. If you like you can tune in there also at: http://216.92.20.151/discussions/showthread.php?s=&postid=371615#post371615.

Very useful discussion to be having, and particularly timely in my family. I wasted a lot of my life on tv...several hours a day as a child for many years. With the birth of our first child only weeks away, and realizing that television is definitely contraindicated for at least the first two years of life according to "Attachment Parenting", by Katie Granju....I asked my wife if we could move the tv into a closet and not use it for a few years and later consider if and when we want to reintegrate it into our lives. After very mild resistance and time to consider my viewpoint, she agreed. [so actually none of the choices in the poll at the top of this thread apply to our situation].

There are many issues to consider. Just a few I can think of off the top of my head:

1. The direct physical health effects of tv. The effects on the eyes, brain waves (e.g. epileptic attacks in susceptible children), and the current obesity epidemic in America (which can further be related to the high rates of heart disease, cancer, diabetes, etc. in this country compared to less developed countries).

2. The effects on learning. There are many viewpoints on this and it seems that tv can definitely be a learning tool when skillfully used, though far too often the other negative consequences seem to become an issue. Corporate advertising is particularly insidious as some of you have pointed out and is made clear by two articles in the latest issue of Mothering Magazine.

3. The effects on the mind and addictive behavior. This is a huge subject - perhaps the most complex of all. As a Buddhist, my teachers have always reminded me that the objects of our addiction are not the problem. The real problem is our relationship with the object. I.e. The problem is our habitual mental thought patterns. Even so, sometimes putting some distance between ourselves and the extenal triggers of our addictions is a wise course.

And tv is just a small window on the larger world of contemporary media. Recently I went to see the second Lord of the Rings movie. I loved the books when I read them years ago. The movie had stunning cinematography, but when I got home, my whole body was shaking from the intensity of the sound, and my mind was reeling from the magnitude and frequency of violence which was shamelessly glorified. I lost count of how many violent movie previews we had to sit through (seven?). Mind numbing! My sleep was poor that night.

Well, the tv is in the closet right now and feel so lucky that so far my wife's pregnancy has gone smoothly (she is 40 years old), and in a few weeks, something very magical may happen. Probably there is an appropriate use for tv...e.g. nature and other truly educational videos, or even as entertainment for some. Who am I to really say what is right for anyone other than myself and my child? If it obviously results in harm to another (e.g. physical assault), then it is my duty to intervene. Maybe we should be thinking about how we should respond to our current president's push for a war rather than debating tv? Maybe not? You decide. I have to go hug my wife and unborn child now.

:bolt :heartbeat :grouphug

[QueeTheBean]

It sucks me in like a drug because it is so effortless. If DH didn't have a vote, I would get rid of our 2 tvs and just get a tiny portable type thing for special occasions.

Kept DS away from all commercial stuff and only watched a few programs that we approved of. Then, a few months ago, we let him watch Toy Story (which I happen to love, BTW). Wham--it is like we have a different child. From mild mannered and passive to rough & violent, saying "stupid", talking back. I swear to god, this was the trigger. Genie in a bottle.

$41 every month for cable--AAAGGGRRRHHHH!!

[Paxetbonum]

We have no TV and it was never even considered that we would buy one when we got married. We like to watch DVDs on our computer since we are both movie fans.

I've always thought TV and movies are similar to magazines and books. Magazines require only a short attention span, are rarely reliable (exept for mothering . . .OF COURSE) and are filled with ads. Books require more complex thought processes and are genuinley more thought provoking and don't have ads. These are broad generealizations obviously but I think the comparison to TV and movies holds true generally speaking.

There is a magnificent article by a Dr. Aeschlimann of UVA called "The cold gray glow" which talks about the tragedy of the hearth of the home being replaced by the TV. I for one prefer the interaction and soicety of reality.

[Paxetbonum]

Didn't mean to sound to snotty there. I don't think tv is of the devil or anything. I just prefer our home to be w/o it. :thumb