Pediatrician Interview RANT!!

[RumiWithAView]

I just got back from a VERY disconcerting prenatal interview with one that someone from the local La Leche League uses. He was supposed to be rather "alternative parenting" friendly, but it was obvious our philosophies were not going to mesh. He actually tried to talk me out of my decision not to circumcize using false (or perhaps outdated) statistics. I know the stats are wrong because I did plenty of research before making the decision. He agreed that there was no medical reason to do it, but he said since 97% of boys are done at birth that he would be embarassed in the locker room. First of all, I don't think performing (what to me) equates to plastic surgery on an infant to avoid potential locker room embarassment is a good idea. Secondly, that 97% figure is wrong. Anyway, things got even worse from there. I asked him about his child rearing philosophy and it was VERY strict. He basically said tell a child once something is wrong and once they cross the line, they need a firm hand. When I asked him about breastfeeding, he said he doesn't think babies should feed on demand... that they should feed every 3-4 hours on a schedule and if they want to eat before that time, to give them a pacifier, water, or even let them cry!!!!! I'm sorry to rant like this, but I just got back from the appointment and I'm just flustered. I didn't even ask his thoughts on sleeping arrangements... I felt like I already knew the answer.

I am looking for an Attachment-Parenting friendly doc, who is an advocate of breastfeeding, will allow or even support delayed/ selective vaccinations, etc. He doesn't necessarily have to be anti-circumcision, but one that will support my decision not to. The girl who I got this rec from warned that he wasn't 100% her cup of tea and that she basically just "uses" doctors to get what she needs/wants and doesn't expect them to guide her in any way. But I was really hoping for my baby to be seen my someone who if they don't share my viewpoints, at least respects them!!!

Ok, thanks for letting me rant!

[LianneM]

:hug That sounds so frustrating! I'm sorry you had such a rough experience.

Good for you for knowing what you believe and want to do. I sincerely hope you can find a Dr. that will support you in the way you need.

The 97% figure may be his own - different areas of the country just have higher and lower rates, but the overall is about 50/50 I believe. I agree that it's silly to make such a permanent alteration to another person's body based on the possibility of them wanting it later. Sounds like a justification to keep doing what he wants since he knows there's no medical reason to do it.

:hug Good luck on your search!

[jbirdbrain]

Gah! That just sounds incredibly frustrating. You are smart to ask those questions now, though! Best wishes in finding someone you can work with! (I haven't even thought about pediatricians yet...)

[RumiWithAView]

Thanks, Lianne... by the way, I graduated from Satellite High School. Melbourne is really a nice place!

jbird, hopefully you'll have more luck in Wyoming!

When I told him AGAIN, that I didn't feel right about circumcizing, he said "but you have to think of what is best for the child". WHAT??? Does he not think that is what I've been doing? He then proceeded to tell me that his brother wasn't circed (wow, one of those elusive 3%, I guess). And when he adopted a boy, he told the doctor, "Make sure he gets circumcized... I don't want him to have to go through what I did." I could barely contain myself and just replied that my father wasn't circed and was still glad he wasn't.

[~Megan~]

You might find a family practice doctor more open to some of your parenting ideas.

Just keep talking to doctors and see who you can find. Perhaps ask some local midwives who they recommend.

The first pediatrician that I had gave a lot of assvice like that. I was complaining about him at a LLL meeting and one of the other moms said she went to him with no problems at all. We went through a few more peds and then went to a FP and things have been much better.

[queen_anne78]

If you keep having a rough time finding someone, I wouldn't even bring up parenting philosophies....it would be NICE to see a ped who's on your page about that, but if your choices are limited, it might not happen. It's none of our doctor's business where my baby will sleep or how often I will feed her. As long as she's healthy, how will he know what I am doing at home?? Find a doc who is with you (or at least accepting/open) on the medical stuff that is important (circing, vaxing, etc.)....that in and of itself is sometimes hard to come by, KWIM? Then, if you can find someone who is also very AP, it's like an extra blessing!

[gibsonsmom]

I have found that the best way to deal with people like the doctor you described is to ignore them and don't use them. You will find someone who meshes with you more, it takes time no matter what your beliefs are. Good luck.

[Papai]

Find a doc who is with you (or at least accepting/open) on the medical stuff that is important (circing, vaxing, etc.)....that in and of itself is sometimes hard to come by, KWIM? Then, if you can find someone who is also very AP, it's like an extra blessing!

This is true. I'm nervous now about finding a pediatrician for my future son.

[Finch]

Have you asked for recs in your tribal area? That dude sounds like a backwards nightmare. Bleah.

[Nature]

I would look in your tribal area here at MDC. Thats how I found mine! ;)

[RumiWithAView]

I'll have to try the tribal area again. I tried it a couple of months ago for a homebirth midwife and didn't get an answer. I guess there arean't too many people here in my tribe! :o

[knowerofnada]

Holy :cuss: I would have totally become unglued. What an ass. Best of luck in your search. I'm right there with you, although I have hopes for the new one DD is seeing in a few weeks.

[AbbieB]

I just wanted to put some food for thought out there...

If you are not planning on vaxing, why do you need to see a pediatrician on a regular basis? Especially if you already feel good about your parenting decisions and don't need a professional telling you how to do things?

I had this same problem with pediatricians in my area with DD. Since we decided not to vax and I felt confident in my ability to evaluate her normal development I just took her to my family doctor if and when she needed to be seen.

I hope you find someone you feel comfortable with. Searching for a doctor is such a frustrating thing.

[SMUM]

Another suggestion, perhaps you can find a naturopath in your area who has admitting privileges to the hospital? Also if you aren't doing vaxes, as a pp noted, a ped isn't necessary, with my third baby we just went for the after birth checkup, then nothing until preschool when a physical was required...you can do the well baby weight, measurements etc. yourself.

[RumiWithAView]

Trust me, there is no naturopath here! Acupuncture and chiropractic medicine is about alternative as this area gets.

I'm not 100% sure about vaxing. My current thoughts are that I may delay/selective vax. At least that is my decision until I can make my mind up more clearly.

The family doctor suggestion may be just the thing, though.