Part 3...40+ or almost 40 with babies & small kids

[kaje62]

I am starting a new thread and renaming it to include some of the 37 or 38 mamas.

Post away sistes.

[Tracy]

seems like a good idea. Plus the other thread was getting long.

I will go on record and say for all those moms in their late 30's having babies...... I think you are YOUNG.


it is true. Come here and feel good.

[glh]

Hi again, I'm 46 with three children ages 19, 7 and 2. We also lost a son 16 years ago when he was 3 1/2 months old.

Last week at exercise class I was talking with a couple of moms with young and schoolage children (of course they were younger than me). We were talking about the schools in town and I mentioned my two boys ages and then said I had a 2 yr old daughter. One of the moms said "Were they mistakes?" - She meant my younger two children. Excuse me-MISTAKES!! How could anyone with children call any child a mistake? I said "no they were surprises, not mistakes-we didn't think we could have more children and they were truly blessings". It's bad enough when someone asks you if your pregnancies were accidents, but the mistake comment really burned my butt (could you tell? :rolleyes: ). End of rant.

[Tracy]

glh



i'm down on that mom.

:angry

[buttafly]

I'll be hitting the Big 40 next March and I'm PG with my second - a boy :-)
I already have a DS, who will be 7yrs old when this little man is born in October. Nice to meet ya :thumb

Buttafly

[emmaline]

hi folks!

I'm 42 on Wednesday (just a youngster according to trabot!) and dc3 is arriving the week after, my other kids are 12 and 5

mistakes huh????? surprises - well yes I was surprised by this pregnancy, dh and I thought we were a bit past it!! obviously not

:wave

[geekmom]

Total bummer! I didn't have to read this thread until you added the "almost 40" :D

I'm 37 in a couple of months and I have a 5 1/2 year old, 2 year old and 1 year old. The catch is, though, that I'm a foster parent and probalby will keep getting kids well into my 40s and 50s and maybe longer. Right now I seem to have a ton of energy to keep up with the little ones. We'll see what happens as time goes on.

[barbara]

Hey all, glad to see a new thread. I'm fourty-ish, closer to 50 that I'd like to admit! I think my energy started to wane around 42, but never fear, those little ones will force you to keep young and fit. :D :wink

[zeldah]

Hi all ... finally a place where I can be the young'n for a change! :D I'm 39, ds is 41 and the boys are 4 and 8 mos. We're thinking about stopping at 2 now, since the last preg was pretty rough on me, but still undecided.

I love things the way they are now, so I guess we can take a couple years to make the final decision. We're both in great shape physically, so energy levels are not a problem, though the grandparents have raised that question regarding babysitting. Anybody else have that concern?

[kaje62]

welcome to all the new mamas. glad a few of you almost 40's joined us.

[mom2sam]

Hi all. I'm a 40 year old first time mom and my dh is 43. Our son is almost 5 months. I'm finding that what I lack in physical energy, I make up for in patience and life experience. Though it can be hard at times, I love being a mom! I am so grateful everyday to have this wonderful child in our lives.

[Tracy]

Okay, so I am working on this job where I have to deal with kids in their early 20's. And of course I have heard several of them mention their moms and I can't help myself, "how old is your mom?"

"Oh, she is 42."

hah. younger than me! and I've got the toddler. Sometimes I have had to talk to the moms and I can't resist mentioning that I just now got around to having my son. Naturally, they do a big sigh...."Oh, I don't know if I would have the energy now."


Of course, they are on the other side of raising their children so this probably does sound daunting. And I know some of you moms here already have children in teens and late teens... whew!

and we still are thinking...."do we have one more in us?"

oh, well. we'll see.

welcome all you late 30ers!:)

[simple gifts]

My oldest daughter is 25, and I have a couple of teenagers. Well, and a 10 year old, and the 1 year old, and the 4 stepkids.

To me, the worst thing about having older kids too is that you have a comparison. I am tired now, but not that terribly exhausted, KWIM? But I do remember having a baby at 19, and even at 30 and how it didn't seem like I was as tired then.

But then again there is selective memory. I don't remember being tired, but I do remember days that I wanted to just cry trying to get things done, or worrying about this that and the other. Being older kind of helps that, I think. With 4 kids 10 and over, I'm much more relaxed about the house, or the stages the baby goes through. Lots more perspective, I guess.

All in all a good trade-off, I think.:)

[merpk]

:wave

Okay, good to join you ladies ...

:wave

Have a 5yoDS#1, 3yoDD, and 1yoDS#2. And a 40yo me. :D
Want more, really I do. Feeling mortal as a general rule, so scared lately ... and for no good reason beyond basic hypochondria ...

Anyway, nice to meet y'all ...

:wave

:hippie

[rainsmom]

Im 45 (!) is that middle age??? but I thankfully look much younger do to good genes and my new braces! Most people guess me for 30+

Dd is 2.5 and some days I have a hard time keeping up. Thank goodness my dh is 7years younger!!!

I also had my first at 19.....I definetly had more energy then! But more frustration I think.

One thing I agree with, having kids does keep me health conscious, which keeps me feeling and looking younger. I care about my body and what I put in to it, and working out, etc etc. I want to be around to see my dd hit all her milestones.

[fourlittlebirds]

I'm 37, and my kids are 6,4, and almost 2. I don't know if we're going to have another, but if it did happen ideally I think I would be around 40. I feel like this is the perfect age for me to be having babies. It feels completely normal... which, biologically, it is. :D It seems totally odd to me that people think 40-year-olds aren't supposed to be having babies! I don't get that at all.

[zeldah]

Energy is not really a problem for me but ...

I strained my shoulder yesterday lifting the car seat into my car (ok, suv really, a Jeep Cherokee). :bang
Would that have happened ten years ago?

He was at max capacity anyway, so I put it away and got out the next one. It just barely fits rear-facing, and it doesn't fit in dh's monte at all. I guess we'll just be using my car for awhile.

my lil pumkin is growing up so fast! :crying

[Kerlowyn]

:wave I ladies!

I'm 40, and I have a 10 year old (Yikes! already 10!) and a 8 month old. I know I am a better mom the second time around, but the day to day things....the lifting, waking up at night...are a bit harder. However, DH and I are planning one more baby. Hopefully a year from now I will be PG.

I see the listings in my local paper for the kids graduating high school, and I went to school with their parents! :eek I could not imagine having a child 'so old!' I still feel so young! :thumb

[kaje62]

Emmaline had her baby

[Tracy]

omgoodness.... did emmeline's baby come early? For some reason I had July in my mind for her?

is there a thread somewhere?


Welcome to Kerlowyn, as I have said on our previous threads... in my mind 40 is YOUNG. I had my ds at 43. My first.

zeldah, my boy is growing up so fast too. It is making me crave another baby more. But then of course somethings have gotten easier as he has gotten older and there is a feeling like, 'phew'.
If we want another we need to move fast and I just don't think I can do it to my body right now. I'm trying to get my body back as we speak.

rainsmam: you and I are the same age and I don't know if you do it, but when I watch tv or look at movies, magazine, I'm starting to obsess on actresses, "work". eye stuff in particular.
But in truth very few of them seem to get good work. Candace Bergen seems to be the only one who doesn't look freakish.
I have friends who do collegan. I'm not there.

blueviolet: I'm with you. I had a weird experience the other day I was at the bookstore and there was a mom there with a new baby and a 2 and half year old and she told me how old her son was when she got pregnant and I said, "Wow, you moved quickly." And then she said, I turned 40 this year and I just wanted it done. After I indicated that I had my son at 43, she later said, "I don't think we're suppose to have babies in our 40s."

Needless to say, my feelings were a bit hurt but I didn't say anything. I also didn't feel like getting into..."well, if we weren't suppose to have babies in our 40's, they why do we still have periods and ovulate in our 40s." There is a case to be made from that perspective. But, she is entitled to her opinion. Anywway, god has a wicked sense of humor...maybe she'll get a surprise when she is 42.

[rainsmom]

rainsmam: you and I are the same age and I don't know if you do it, but when I watch tv or look at movies, magazine, I'm starting to obsess on actresses, "work". eye stuff in particular.

What I notice is that they seem to be getting work done EARLIER than they need it. Personally, I dont think Id do it. I just had braces :D put on, so now I only notice everyones teeth.

god has a wicked sense of humor...maybe she'll get a surprise when she is 42.
kaje62

I NEVER thought Id have a child in my 40s......never say never!!!

[emmaline]

yes I did have my baby early! sorry I forgot about posting the news here - there is ab it of the story on the Caesarian suppport circle thread, just the bald facts, I'll add more when I can have some space to think

anyway, he's a nother blonde haired blue eyed boy, gorgeous of course, and I'm recovering slowly

oh and he just sneaked in 4 hours 4 minutes before I turned 42!! god sure does have a wicked sense of humour

[Tracy]

emmaline: Congratulations!!!!!!!!

If you were an astrologer you would know your ds wanted to be quick witted, funny, clever and good with his hands... as he chose to be a Gemini!

anyway, I read your posting in cesearan and wanted to know how the nursing was going with ds? And what exactly was the bug in the intestines? I think that's what I took from your post.

I'm so happy for you and your dfamily... and how clever for your ds to come in at age 41.... giving room for you to have one at 43?

kidding.

many hugs from the northern hemisphere where it is too hot to have a baby.

[kaje62]

god has a wicked sense of humor...maybe she'll get a surprise when she is 42. kaje62

rainsmom just curious why my user name is by that quote. were you gonna say something to me and forgot?

just wondering.

[emmaline]

trabot - yes ds3 (there we go a again! how weird is it to write that?) obviously knew he'd need to be quick to match wits with his mama!!:o :D but it's funny because I kept thinking how bizarre it was that I 'knew' the time and date of this birth b/c it was 'scheduled' and that's not what happened at all..

the bug was not identified, mystery virus was the conclusion, but no one else in the family got it - odd b/c usually the kids bring the bugs in and then dh and I get them, not this time

nursing is going well, I'm just reining in my abundant oversupply and watching like a hawk for early signs of mastitis which I had early on after both other c-births and found wildly awful
sorry duty calls

[Tracy]

emmaline, so glad the nursing is on track and all is doing better. In my silly opinion the bug should be called, "mercury" the winged messenger bringing a new gemini...but that's my woo-woo side speaking....

congratulations again, I'm so thrilled, I am even jealous but not a bad jealous a good one.


note to all.....
I have noticed that most of my friends who waited to have children into the later years...read late 30's -40s... well, it seems there are more sons to these moms than daughters.
One friend said that she read that it is more common. Although, I haven't read it..it certainly appears that way in my world.

[kaje62]

dh always says we can provide more for our kids being older but that means financially not physically. tee hee.

[kaje62]

should i have a baby after 35?

hmmm 35 kids sounds like enough

quote from http://www.themothermagazine.co.uk/

[emmaline]

hmmm 35 kids sounds like enough

:LOL that's good!!

the bug should be called, "mercury" the winged messenger bringing a new gemini...but that's my woo-woo side speaking....

oh no more jokes, OK? my stitches hurt :LOL

[glh]

Congratulations Emmaline. I hope all is going well for you and your family. My last baby was a month early, she weighed 6 1/2 lbs and came home with me after two days in the hospital. I was unprepared at home though, I had more shopping to do for baby things and had planned on freezing meals ahead of time. It was very strange not to have that last month of pregnancy to get everything prepared.

[callmemama]

Hey Mamas, how do you find the time (and energy!) to exercise? I used to be a "walker", but 3 1/2 yo ds rarely agrees to go for a walk anymore. It finally occurred to me that I might be less tired if I exercised, so I'm giving up precious SLEEP :o to get up and walk while dh is getting ready for work and ds is still asleep. Its helping! Now I'm looking for ideas for when the days are short again and its dark when dh is getting ready for work!

[SagMom]

Late to the party (as usual)--mind if I join in?

I'm 40. Ds is 12, dd is 8 and ds is 3. We've been hoping for another (for more than a year and a half now.) One midwife thinks it's not happening because I'm nursing, the other thinks it's because of my age. The "why" of it doesn't really matter at this point though.

Anyway, I keep flip-floping between sadness that our baby-making days are over, and trying to put a positive spin on it--like not having to wash crayon off the walls anymore, being able to close the door to pee by myself--stuff like that. The trouble with this is that I don't really mind the crayon or the open door.

Anyone else notice there's no "peri/menopause" board at mdc?

[callmemama]

"Anyone else notice there's no "peri/menopause" board at mdc?"


Hee hee - it looks like a few of us could qualify, doesn't it?! Although at 44, I've been informed by my doctor that my hormones indicate I'm not yet menopausal! Its almost like an invitation to ttc:o

[ladylee]

Thanks for including the nearly 40's, kaje62. I'm turning 39 in August, and having my second child in September. For the most part, I still feel "like others" because until fairly recently I lived in NYC and people waiting until later in life to become mothers was the norm, not the exception. Now I live in an area where the bulk of mothers w/children the same age as mine are in their 20's, but I really don't think about it that much. I am close to a few mothers who are 30-33 and I do notice very different perspectives between us sometimes (I think they assume I'm closer to their age than I am.)

emmaline-I'm glad to hear everything is getting better and better!

callmemama-I stick to a daily exercise regimen quite easily-primarily because I include my daughter in it! We do yoga together. When I do weight training, she loves to play with little one pound weights. And we love hiking together.

[Mamaste]

Originally posted by ladylee
I am close to a few mothers who are 30-33 and I do notice very different perspectives between us sometimes (I think they assume I'm closer to their age than I am.)


The story of my life! Everything goes along well while they think I'm more or less their age. A gulf always seems to ensue when they find out I'm a decade older, though. And *I* sometimes feel awkward staying silent when they're talking about things that are ... well ... We all know how big a difference 10 years can make. Different perspectives. Different takes.

You hate to say "Been there, done that," though. What a damper that would be. :(

[zeldah]

I just had a new friend say to me "I could learn a lot from you"

Our kids are the same age! We have roughly the same amount of mothering experience, but simply because I'm nearly 10 years older, I'm the mentor?

Maybe I could teach her a thing or two ... :firedevil

[ladylee]

"And *I* sometimes feel awkward staying silent when they're talking about things that are ... well ... We all know how big a difference 10 years can make. Different perspectives. Different takes."-Mamaste

When this happens to me it feels like the old days when I was on a date! Sometimes I get weary of listening to things that don't interest me (namely drama) and would rather be solo. But I'm sure they have to take the bad with the good with me as well :LOL. One significant difference I've noticed in the age gap with my particular situation-I'm no longer filled with as much ego & self-importance as I was at that age.

I do have friends my age and older who are childless, and I think I feel more compatible with them.

zeldah-I've had people try to put me in the mentor role and I RUN :LOL. That's always been a bad setup in my experience!

[kaje62]

At my prenatal on Tuesday, my blood pressure was up again, so they had me lay on my side and it went down, which is good. But they ordered me on modified bedrest, which means lay on my side 2 hours twice during the day. I know it is not total bedrest so I asked the midwife how am I to take care of Charlie and can I sit rather than lay? And she said, "you can do this or be admitted to the hospital like a young woman was today. They drew blood to check my liver and stuff which the results came back as perfect on Thursday. I also had a non-stress test which went well.

Later I talked to my friend Sarah, who is a doula and I said she doesn't mean 4 hours she is just saying this to make me do one hour and Doula said if she says 4 she means 4.

And in my last few visits, they keep bringing up the size of the baby and how maybe a VBAC will be too risky if the baby is large. Again Charlie weighed 9.15. So they are doing an ultra sound on Wednesday to help determine the size and Carrie my doula is going with me because these last few visits have been a bit hard and I need to get encouragement about the VBAC. I feel like all they ever do is bring up concerns.

So anyway I am a bit disheartened. Even though, so far my baby is doing well and I am doing pretty well.

The other thing is Jerry is into total crunch mode on the living room expansion so we are all in a hotel this weekend. We got a good deal at a hotel for $55.00 a night.

Again, my due date is August 8th. And I know I need to take this modified bed rest as serious or I could end up in the hospital with an iduction which would make a repeat c-section much more likely. At any rate, please keep us in your prayers. Thank you.

[Tracy]

re: Age and other moms:
Yesterday was my ds's birthday. He turned 2. We didn't throw a party because I think he is too young and he wouldn't really get it yet. But of course we made his day very special. Included in the day was a trip to the beach and about a week ago a mom friend of mine invited us to her birthday party for her 3 year old son. Since she lived near the beach town we were going to visit I said yes. So, we stopped at the party for a couple hours then went to the beach. My son had a beautiful time because they had the bouncy house, a nice inflatable pool and a really glorious brio train set up. I think he thought he was at an arcade.

anyway, this was one of those times when I realized how much older I am. She is in her 20's...and of course all her sisters were there and they are in their 20's and their friends were all in their 20's. And her step mom was six months younger than me and informed me she had a granddaughter when she was 36!

It really was one of those things where I suddenly realized..."man I'm a lot older than everyone here." I don't usually hang out in that thought, but I did have it there. Not a lot but a few times.
The one curious thing, is that her mother had her last child when she was 43. She is now 50 with a 7 year old. She said she is tired all the time but then when I pointed out she does have 4 other children besides the7 year old she still said, "I dunno, I think 20's is for having babies."
Later her daughter said, she says that because we are all still hanging on her boobs and we're in our 20's."

anyway, that is a long way to say...some days I'm in a sea of 20's and early 30's... but really mostly I don't care. I just so connect to having a toddler and those issues with other moms that I'm sort of oblivious to the fact that I'm so much older. Except when it is really, really noticeable.

[Tracy]

kaje62:
I'm so sorry you are going through this... when I say this.. I mean the tensions and questions about what is the 'right' thing to do. Good for you for bringing your Doula.

I had my son at a huge famous hospital. Because of my age I didn't feel comfortable with a home birth and actually I developed GD the last trimester and they started the drum beat early on that they might have to induce. I wasn't thrilled and I tried to bring on labor, naturally...but in the end they did induce. But at least I did get a vaginal birth and I know so few people at this hospital to have vaginal births...just a ton of cesarians.

However, the one thing I did do..... is on the day before the induction I had a foot reflexolgy appointment. I didn't have one during the entire pregnancy because I was nervous about it. Anyway, that night before, he came over to my house and I swear to you...he was deep massaging my feet and pushing pressure points when suddenly he pushed one spot and I just 'knew" and I said to him, "What does that part of the foot connect to in the rest of the body." He said, "it is the uterus."

I knew it. I felt a sharp tug in my uterus. Anyway, I kind of felt my appointment with him helped the induction. And helped with the vaginal results. You might want to see if there is one around your neighborhood. But wait until the end of the pregnany.

Anyway, your in my prayers.

one last note: there is a major ass astrology aspect this summer and it is growing and I think that is why so many moms to be that I know are going to the hospital and showing preeclampsia and other things... I think it is tugging on babies like a race car track calls a driver.

[Tracy]

Anyone else notice there's no "peri/menopause" board at mdc?


joan, that is a brilliant idea!


I am going to send a note about it to mods.

[jempd]

HI all. Turning 44 on Thursday so I am feeling a little older. Had ds when I was 41. I wonder if there are more boys born to older women than girls . . . I've never heard that as an actual statistic but in my experience also it is true.

Have pretty much decided on one kid, by default, but feel strong pangs of longing for another little newborn . . . trying to squelch them.

I am going to Montreal for the weekend to celebrate, where my friends have assured me that there they consider women in their forties not over-the-hill at all and rather sexy. And I'm getting dh to take me to a WNBA game.

[Kelso]

Hey!
I turned 40 in January and I have dd-4 3/4 and ds-2 3/4yo.
I totally get the feeling like I'm older than everyone else and feeling tired with two little ones. I do wonder if I'd be this tired if
my babes were born earlier in my life. But then I think about what I would have missed ( Schooner sailing to Newforndland and the Carribean, Train trip to Colorado, and some really cute guys, among other things). And also the fact that those really cute guys were not the ones for me to have my kids with!!

Woo-Hoo JEMPD. My sis and I (she's 37 with 4 kids) go to a WNBA game each summer. We used to go to NYC, but this year they have games in CT. so we go there. Of course we're still die hard NY Liberty fans (we grew up in NJ), but the CT team is only 2 hrs away, not 4. It is so cool to watch those women play ball.
I played in HS and the first WNBA game I saw on tv was the FIRST GAME and I almost cried, I was so happy. The pitch of the crowd cheering is also much higher than at other events. Lots of women go and I just feel a connection with all the women (from the very young--a few months old- to the very old--I've seen some women over 70yo at games). Have a GREAT time at the game!!!:love

[ladylee]

"Schooner sailing to Newforndland and the Carribean..."-Kelso

:thumb

Whereabouts in the Caribbean?

[Tracy]

well. dh and ds and I went to disneyland on wednesday.
oh, my god, I felt like I had been hit by a truck the next day.

that was an instance when I did feel old. hot weather, long lines, chasing ds....well...we won't be returning for a couple of years. thank goodness.

[Tracy]

emmaline,
how is it going? I think I saw one of your postings somewhere that pretty much the house was going off, noises, whistles etc and you and little babe are trying to get through it all.



does anyone have any jealousy when they have friends having babies now...I meantoday I ran into a friend of mine who is having a baby at the end of the month. She is 32. I am a bit jealous, I mean it is such a perfect age for a first baby. She could then take her time and have more if she wants.

it was kind of hard for me considering I didn't even meet my husband until I was 38. And I couldn't just say, "hey, you seem nice want to have a baby?" I needed to spend time with him... oh, well..

I am still very happy for all my friends who are having babies. It is just such a sweet time.

[rainsmom]

My friends here (as opposed to where I used to live) except one, are all in their mid to late 20s and early 30s. Most of them are working on kid 2 or 3. Some of them seem to be struggling......some are very happy where they are. So yea, I could be younger having dd, but I feel so much more together in my life. And that takes a load off, as far as being able to be home and not stress about money etc etc. And Im lucky dh is understanding with giving me time to myself. I hope to take a nite class this fall or next spring.....get back in the real world again......

For me, having a child at 20........and another at 42, gives me alot of perspective on myself as a parent, human.......etc. The only thing Im missing out on these days is a full night of sleep! Me and dd take naps together.

[callmemama]

Rainsmom, ds has stopped taking naps ... and I still need one!! Sometimes I sack out early (with him) at night, much to dh's dismay:o

[rainsmom]

I feel your pain callmemama! Dd has days here and there when she doesnt nap.......long days! i go to bed w/her too!! I keep telling dh it will be better soon...someday she WILL sleep thru the night, in her own bed....

[callmemama]

Had to share this:) The other day I was sooooo tired, I told ds that I was going to lie down on the couch and asked him to wake me up when the big hand on the clock was pointing straight down (about 10 minutes). Bless his heart, he did just as I asked. Then I told him I was still really sleepy and asked him to play quietly while I rested a little while longer. I fell asleep (the kind where you can still hear your little one playing!) and woke up when the big hand was pointing straight down ... an hour later! What a little sweetheart to let me sleep!!

[beanma]

hey y'all,

can i join in? 39 and pg now with number 2. we have one sweetie dd who is 2.5. i do have several playgroup friends with kids around dd's age who are in their 30s, but i don't know if any of them approach my "advanced maternal age"! i'm feeling much more tired with this pg and can't say if it's age or dd or other confounding factors.

does anybody else have older parents? i am the youngest and my parents started late. they're in their mid to late 70s. my dad is in poor health now so we're dealing with that, too. dh's mom is a young mid-60s, though. dd adores her -- i think partially 'cause she can still get down on the floor and play with her. dd loves my mom, too, but she's not as physically playful as dh's mom.

every once in awhile one of my late 20s friends with kids will say something about somebody like jane's addiction being "oldies" music and i'm thinking, "huh? kc and the sunshine band maybe, but jane's addiction was popular after i was out of college -- oh yeah, you're like 10 years younger than me!" most of the time i don't notice the age difference, though. probably would if my friends were early 20s, though. i have lotsa friends my age who just ended up not having kids, too, so we never really felt much peer pressure to get started. all in all, i'm happy to have waited (dh and i will have been married 10 yrs this fall so we could have started earlier). i think i'm a better parent now than i would have been as a younger mom, but most of what i know i learned from dd anyway! :p

[callmemama]

beanma, one of the sad things about waiting to have children is that ds has only met one of his grandparents (one time). Two of his grandparents are deceased and one is in a nursing home a long way away from us. I'm sorry to hear about your dad's poor health.

Congratulations on baby #2!

[beanma]

thanks for the sympathy on my dad. it's a sucky situation.

yeah, i only had one grandparent that i remember. i did meet my maternal grandfather, but he died when i was 6mo old and my paternal grandmother died when i was about 3 or 4 i think. i realkly don't remember her. my dad's dad died when dad was a teenager, so it's only my mom's mom that i remember.

dd has both of her grandmothers, but dh's dad died suddenly (heart attack thingy) when he was just 64 about 4.5 years ago.

whoa....way to bring down a thread! :eek

well, gotta go. sleeping beauty awakes!

[BAU3]

Hi all.. I think I posted here once before, along time ago, but am here again...I'm a big lurker.. not much of a poster.. i think the keyboard and i don't hit it off well.. i can never seem to say what I want.. oh well.
I will be 40 in april.. have a 5 yo, 21/2 yo and ds #3 due in Dec.
It doesn't bother me much to be an "older" mom...I find it kind of empowering to be Pg at this age.. my body is still strong and able to do this miraculous thing!!!yea!!!
I am also the child of an older parent.. I say that singular because my mom was merely 30 when she had me.. but my dad was 52... never knew any of my grand parents.. my moms mom died when i ws 1.. the rest way before..My children only have one granparent, my mom, as my dad passed away in 96 and dh's parents both passed away when he was 12.

I have a sister who is 41 and Pg.. I feel so bad because her SO(shes not married). decided that thier relationship was going "too fast" when she told him of the pg.. (you'd think he was 15 instead of 50) So shes faced with raising a child on her own.. she's afraid what will happen with her job.. she's woried about money.. and apparently her Dr. keeps saying things to her like"did you know that you only have a one in 39 chance of having a healthy baby?" "do you know how much it costs to raise a child today?".grrrrrrr..I'm trying to gather some more comforting statistics for her.. that just sucks.

Anyway.. just wanted to jump in and say hi.. I'm find it very supportive and comforting to come here now and again and know that there are alot of people in this world who are parenting at our age.. i love it and wouldn't trade it for the world:)

[beanma]

man, i feel like i've brought this thread so down, so i thought i'd pop back in here with something a little more positive.

like bau3 it doesn't really bother me to be an older mom. i feel like i'm ready now and had my wild oats and rock-n-roll days. i also don't feel almost 40 whatever that's supposed to feel like, or maybe i do, durnit! go 40ish moms! we rock!

[callmemama]

not to worry, beanma. we go everywhere in this thread:) i love being a mom now too - i call it my second childhood! its more fun than the first!!

[emmaline]

emmaline,how is it going? I think I saw one of your postings somewhere that pretty much the house was going off, noises, whistles etc and you and little babe are trying to get through it all.

trabot that post came after a night where i was nearly insane with the mechanical and electronic noises generated between midnight and 7 am that woke no one but me:angry :angry it's not usually that bad

ds3 is 8 weeks, on a huge breast-a-thon at the moment and growing enormous, we have even had afew beautiful toothless grins:love

i'm finding balancing everyone's needs fairly tricky esp as ds2 is still off his head and angry with the world

i'm really enjoying watching ds1 (12) with his baby brother, they are in love, and look so alike - i long to take a photo of ds1 slinging ds3 but our camera is broken:crying and must be replaced - soon!!

[Tracy]

For some reason I have missed this thread for the last month. I don't know how it got skipped.

Anyway:

BAU:

I have a sister who is 41 and Pg.. I feel so bad because her SO(shes not married). decided that thier relationship was going "too fast" when she told him of the pg.. (you'd think he was 15 instead of 50) So shes faced with raising a child on her own.. she's afraid what will happen with her job.. she's woried about money.. and apparently her Dr. keeps saying things to her like"did you know that you only have a one in 39 chance of having a healthy baby?" "do you know how much it costs to raise a child today?".grrrrrrr..I'm trying to gather some more comforting statistics for her.. that just sucks.

I wish your sister would change doctors immediately. I don't find anything comforting in that doctors' words. And I also think it is bullshit.
No one ever talks about the fact that Downsyndrome is also prevelant in teenage pregnancies.. all anybody thinks about is the over 35 or whatever age.... I can't even talk about this because I'm so pissed at that doctor.

As for your ds's SO and all the other fears.. YOU MUST GET THIS BOOK IMMEDIATELY....


http://www.amazon.com/exec/obidos/tg/detail/-/044990928X/qid=1061186967/sr=1-4/ref=sr_1_4/002-4530568-8011260?v=glance&s=books


this is a book written by the author who experienced the exact, EXACT situation as your sister. She is a beautiful writer and there are threads on her in the media section MDC.

Get it for your sister. She needs some encouragement. I'm positive her community will rise to the occasion. And she must remember the adage about a village raising a child. She'll find her village.

[Tracy]

emmaline, my 2 year old can just be hideous. this temper that has emerged it just so explosive. DH and I are kind of far from that volcanic style but we did have mothers who were that way. Ah, it has skipped a generation.

wait a minute... I think I misread your post. When you said ds2 you weren't talking about your two year old son, you were talking about your second son.... ah, never mind my first paragraph.

I'm so happy the baby is doing well and yeah, the exhaustion is horrible. But when it is all said and done...remember some of us, well, at least me...is jealous.

congrats on making it to week 8. Sleep is in your near future. I can smell it.

[kaje62]

went in to medwives or should i say meddlingwives on Wednesday and
bp was up to 166/100
and on side 142/90
it has been borderline high for about 7 weeks
140/90 and 120/70 on side
my non stress test was fine

anyway they wanted to do a c-section that afternoon instead of today
or they wanted to induce me with cervadil
but my cervix was not dilated at all and i was just 25% effaced

she gave me the dead baby scare
and said, do you want to bring home a baby?

i said no to being induced and the c-section
so then they wanted me to go to the hospital for two hours of testing
to get several readings of my blood pressure and i said no
i want to go home

so i had another blood draw, which came back perfect on Thursday
and came home and took an hour nap with charlie

And then DH and I talked and I did a lot of research with ICAN and Dr. Brewer (www.blueribbon.org) I even talked to him on the phone and then Friday DH went in with me and we cancelled my c-section for today and rescheduled it for this Fridaywhich will make me 42 weeks. All my test including the non stress were great on Friday. I think my bp was 162/92.

I so want to VBAC and am bummed I am so overdue. And then MIL came by yesterday and said, "I don't think you will go into labor cuz you have been on bedrest for so long." Thanks MIL!!! You are so sweet.

[Tracy]

kaje62.
Find a foot reflexologist.
Got get foot reflexology.

I had to have an induced labor. I had GD. Long story.

Anyway, since I wasn't thrilled about starting a cold engine, you know what I mean... I had my foot reflexologist come over to my house and rub my feet. There are pressure points that can bring on labor. They'll know them.

I am convinced it helped me when they had to give me that thing that opens the cervix. They were convinced I would need two of them. I only needed one. Get the reflexology. Get even two appointments before now and friday. You might dialate.

good luck. I'm sorry it is not going as planned or wanted, but some of these darn babies, just want more of a show. My boy has a bit of drama in him.

hugs
tracy

[Velveteen]

kaje62;
Thinking of you- hope the advice from Trabot helps!!!

Well, here I am at 41 getting ready to ttc in the next month or two!!!!Can you beleive it? So, I vacillate, thinking that I won't even get pg at all, but in the past it was no problem. So we shall see if a babe is in my future after all. Or, should I say, a caboose babe.

Trabot, I find it very encouraging you had a baby at 43, your first!

And what is with the Dr. saying that your sister has a one in 39 chance of a unhealthy baby BAU3? This is terrible!!!!!

Odds are you have a 98% chance of a HEALTHY baby, I've been looking into this, because naturally I want to make an informed decision.

Good to hear from everyone- and Emmaline, Congratulations!!

[kaje62]

your 12 day overdue mama checking in

would love you to vote on my should i have a c-section on friday poll???

http://216.92.20.151/discussions/showthread.php?s=&threadid=81675

[ladylee]

Just wanted to note how flattering the universe has been to me lately :LOL--two people have expressed disbelief this week that I'm soon to be 39. Guess I must be thinking good thoughts! It makes me happy to know I look younger now than I did at 22-when I had SO much baggage wearing me down!

[Tracy]

Kaje62 has had her baby!
A little girl!!

http://mothering.com/discussions/showthread.php?s=&postid=774966#post774966

i found the update. on the above thread.


Here's cheers from the moms who remember jfk's funeral, nixon in office and black & white tvs.:champagne


much love to mom and new babe!

[Tracy]

by the way, Ladylee, that is fantastico!
Take those strokes from the universe and love 'em.

I haven't been getting much lately. But I need to lighten my hair and my ass has never been bigger.
well, maybe it was bigger a month ago. Who knows.

In the meantime I'm out to get some jojoba.

[kaje62]

Trabot thanks for posting my link. Here is my story. Love to all.

I called my midwife that Thursday morning and she said, “Kathy why don’t you come in and we will check you out and if your cervix is favorable we can try a trial of labor with pitocin and if that does not work then you can have the surgery tomorrow.

So we called Grandpa Peterson who would be with Charlie until that evening when Corrine would come and spend the night with him. We spent some time with Charlie, packed up and went off to the hospital. Our doula Carrie met us there. My cervix was ripe enough so we were given the go ahead but my blood pressure was up a bit more so I was put on a magnesium drip shortly after our arrival. This makes you very hot and really hurt going in through the IV. It also limits movement during labor and actually is used to slow down labor for moms not full term. So before too long I was put on something used to speed up labor, pitocin and something to slow down labor, magnesium. About ½ way into labor, my blood pressure was not coming down enough so they increased the magnesium. Other than that, it was really a calm beautiful night and Jerry and Carrie were wonderful. A few hours into the labor, I started to have some bloody show which is a sign of your cervix thinning so we were feeling excited. A few hours later I felt discouraged and I had been on 12 hours of pitocin. I knew before I was checked that I had not advanced much. The midwife said that she was willing to do 3 more hours of pitocin but did not think we could go much more than that. After she left the room, I told Carrie to tell the midwife that I wanted them to turn the Pitocin off. And we started to be prepare for surgery. We called some family members and things moved quite fast.

It all seemed to go much more smoothly than the surgery with Charlie, including the spinal. When Charlie was born, we had in our birth plan that Jerry would announce the gender so at that exciting moment, theOBasked Jerry to stand up. Jerry stood and said, "Ladies and Gentlemen, I am proud to announce the birth of my baby boy, Charles Andrew Peterson and then he broke down in tears. So on Friday we once again made it clear that we wanted Jerry to announce gender. TheOBgave him the cue and Jerry said, "It's a girl, right?" And theOBsaid, "It appears to be." And the anesthesiologist said, "And that it is."

Angelyn Rosemarie Peterson was born Friday August 22nd at9:28 a.m.weighing 9 pounds 13 ounces and 20 inches long. (I was born at9:28 a.m.onMay 20, 1962. Pretty sweet that we were born at the same time.) The trial of labor was valuable as Angelyn's apgar scores were 9 and 9 (same as Charlie's) at birth. Even though Charlie was c-section, my water broke with him and it is said that a trial of labor even for awhile can help babies lungs and apgar scores once born. I feel I made all the right choices during the last few weeks. I not think I should have waited any longer for baby to arrive or do not think we waited too long. Angelyn is beautiful and is in no way overcooked.

http://f2.pg.photos.yahoo.com/ph/kaje62/lst?.dir=/Angelyn+Rose+Peterson&.order=&.view=l&.src=ph&.done=http%3a//f2.pg.photos.yahoo.com/bc/kaje62/lst%3f%26.dir=/Stuff%2bto%2bsell%26.src=ph%26.view=l

[callmemama]

She's angelic:) Congratulations!!

[emmaline]

wonderful kathy! :hug for Angelyn :hug for big bro Charlie

[Tracy]

Okay, A new thread for us 'older' moms has been generated. This one was getting kind of long...

please go to our new thread. I guess, new season, new thread....

http://216.92.20.151/discussions/showthread.php?s=&threadid=87796


Happy Fall to us northern hemispheres

And a beautiful spring to Emmeline and her fellow southern hemispheres.

tracy