Any mamas of biracial babes?

[mags&jordy]

Hi!

We are a happy family of different colors. I'm white, dh's black and Jordy came out beautifully tanned. I SO! envy her her permanent-year-round tan!!

How do you define your babe's race...multiracial?
Halle Berry is defined black..

I mean - I don't plan to make a problem out of it, because I don't see one there, but just wonder what do you think...



:love

Mags&Jordy

[eilonwy]

I am mixed, DH is white, and ds is, of course, MIXED! My sister is forever teasing me and my brother about our "little white babies" (ds has blue eyes & medium skin, and my nephew has blonde hair). Her older daughter is much darker than we are, but her younger one is the color of a french vanilla cappucino (their father is black).

So, in short, yes, I have a little mixed person. I can't wait to see if his hair curls! *hehe* :LOL

[BathrobeGoddess]

I am white, my ex is 1/2 Japanese and dd looks like a light haired Japanese child...she had the eyes and the slight body and bones. She has a Japanese last name, too.

[Quella]

Hi,
I am white. DH is Samoan.
Our son and daughter have perfect warm toned skin and gorgeous, dark almond eyes and medium dark hair. They both have a polynesian version noses--soo cute.
10 minutes in the sun they both put me to shame---I don't tan nearly as fast!
Our kids are the darkest by far of my extended family, and the lightest kids by far when we are with DH's family.
DH's family lives in Hawaii--when we visit them this October I know my kids will be smooched by the sun and return home more polynesian than ever. I love it!
I'm envious of my kids' looks! :)

I love talking up my darling babes.

Thanks,
Quincy

[malamamama]

I am caucasian, dh is Filipino, dd is "hapa". In Hawaii, anyone that is mixed with caucasian is a "hapa haoli"~half white....And....she is a beauty!!! And a sweet soul!!!
Doesn't look anything like me at this point, except she has my brownish blondish hair. Big, brown, almond eyes, dark skin, wide, yet buttonish nose, full lips.....gush, gush, gush! :love

[daisysmom]

I'm pale and blonde and my exhusband is Guatemalan. dd has absolutely gorgeous skin. A perfect tan year round. She's naturally as dark in the winter as I am in August. But she's got my mouth. :love

[Quella]

malamamama,
my babes are "hapa" , too because dh as was born and raised in Hawaii. He used to work at PCC (Polynesian Cultural Center, Oahu) while we were at school, I miss the islands! His family is still there.

is your user name malama from "malama pono"?
Just curious :)
Kauai is one of my favorite places, my best friend's family lives in Kapaa. I've spent some time over there, exploring the island :)
Her dad taught me how to spear fish and catch octopus. I was shocked at how much poke they eat!

We're planning a trip this year (to Oahu), yay!

Yay for our hapa sun babes!

Q

[malamamama]

Quella, Yes! Malama means to care for, support, etc. in its verb form and caretaker & keeper in its noun form. So thats where I came up with my user name. I guess Pono would add rightousness to that???? I'm just beginning to learn the language on my own. It is so beautiful.
I use to live on The Big Island and then dh and I moved back to CA Bay area for almost 4 years. I missed Hawaii so much then. It was our goal to be back in the islands by the time dd was two.
Oregon is a good place to be on the mainland...Mahalo for the connection!!!!:love
btw, dd LOVES poke!!!!

[radish]

i am dark skinned mexican
dh is canadian/jew (lloks very "white")

10 week old dd looks like him, only fairer skin, blue eyes and dark brown hair...

everyone, strangers, comment on how light she is, she must look like her dad, etc etc...

it is beginning to annoy me (and esp DH) - he hates that ppl (inlcluding my family) must always point out skin color...

i agree but it IS a factor and pretty darn obvious...

[neveryoumindthere]

*

[neveryoumindthere]

*

[burritomama]

I am a dark-skinned, dark haired daughter of my Mexican-American father and my blonde, blue-eyed mother of German/Dutch descent. I identify as a Latina.

My sweetie is the son of a German-Polish refugee woman and a second-generation Yugoslav (now Croatian)immigrant. I don't know if I wrote that right but you get the idea.

Our little guy was born with black hair that has since turned blonde and has coppery skin. He looks just like his daddy.

Like radish, I am getting tired of all the comments about his "color"...my father, in particular, seems relived that the babe turned out so fair (unlike he and I). sigh.

More on this later perhaps.

[malamamama]

Saffiyya80~your dh's comment touched my soul and brought tears to my eyes.
People feel so safe with all those boundaries and boxes...our children's generations are really gonna shake up that illusion of security!!!!
When we lived in CA, people often asked if I had adopted my dd because she was darker than me and the IL's kept making comments about how light she was because she was lighter than them. :rolleyes:
Now we are in Hawaii where there are a million shades of brown and no more comments except how beautiful she is:love

[Amazlilith]

Originally posted by saffiyya80
me: "u act like dh conceived and gave birth to her himself!!"
mom: "the baby takes after the fathers culture"
[/B]

Actually, a child takes after the mother's culture. It comes from the idea the Maternity is easier to prove then paternity.

Back on topic...
My daughter is not biracial but I am and our family is multiethnic (I'm Mexican/Hungarian, DP is Italian and DD is AA)

[neveryoumindthere]

i dont believe the child takes after the mother's culture either...
dh and i believe we all came from Adam (peace be upon him)..and happened to be born in different areas of the world

but in my parents culture, ya, supposedly teh kids take after their dad's name and culture-whatever:rolleyes:

[minicooper]

hi :) i don't currently have a mixed baby... but i will in December lol :)

everyone is excited to see who the baby will look like...

DH is black and I am white (french and irish - so i kinda have a yellowish skin tone) we're kind of hoping the baby gets my eyes... green/hazel... we both have dark hair and full lips so i think some features are guaranteed lol :)

have you ever seen a japanese and black mixed child? they are SO beautiful!

just thought i'd put my two cents in... :)

interesting to think about the cultural aspect of mixed children... i had three ectopics with my first husband (nigerian) and my husband now is american and i'm canadian... so it's less of a cultural issue now than it might have been with hubby no 1 lol

i do have say that i know people who see mixed children.. or have mixed children and have the mentality that they are one or the other and not both, which i find disturbing... why limit your child in that way

was so great to see this thread :)

[radish]

minicooper (do u drive one??)

a friend told me green eyes are the hardest to get, both parents have to hae 'em 9or have em recesively) i think....

here is a pic of my "light" baby:
http://www.reginagirl.com/images/0523_4.jpg

[minicooper]

she's beautiful radish! :)

no we don't drive a mini cooper... i love the car and our last name is cooper... so there's a mini cooper coming soon :)

darnit! well maybe we'll be the exception to green eyes lol

thanks!

[radish]

lol!! a mini cooper -- i:love it!

a girl at a salon named her littele boy cooper! i thught that was so ciute!

[eilonwy]

My little man has skin that's as dark as mine, but more yellow.. mine is very neutral, but next to him I look kinda pink. I don't get too many comments until he opens his huge pale blue eyes.

When I was a kid, my mom got lots of comments about my siblings and I because we all got different features. My mother is of Russian descent; *very* pale skin (hospital wall white, we call it. ;)), hazel eyes, black hair. I have dark red curly hair, amber eyes, medium skin; one of my sisters has blue eyes and curly hair, light-medium skin and the other has amber eyes, fair skin and nappy dark brown hair.. my brother is darker skinned than the rest of us, with nappy dark brown hair and medium brown eyes. People used to whisper behind my mother's back that we all had different fathers. :angry :rolleyes:

I think it's cool that being mixed or multiracial in some way is considered a good thing in America today, but I really wish it had been that way when I was growing up. I had a really rough time coming to terms with my identity. I think part of it is that my mother never really said anything one way or the other and my father wasn't around, but still... I wish there had been other mixed kids around who could identify with me that way. It would have been nice, ya know?

My little boy is mixed, even though he's got those huge blue eyes. I will make certain to teach him that there are many different cultures and ideas in his background, and that each one has merit and a place in making him who he is. There are more people around today who identify as "mixed", so he'll have an easier time assimilating that way than I did. (I hope! :P)

[daisysmom]

dd is half Guatemalan and while I'm no longer married to her father I still want her to have a strong bond with the latin culture. I speak to her in spanish when I rmember, although that seems to be less and less dh doesn't understand it so we don't speak it much at home anymore. Her dad lives in Utah and she only sees him a few times a year. I feel very strongly that our cultures are important to all of us. It makes us who we are. And I don't want her to loose that.


Hey Radish, how'd you do that with the pic? I can't seem to figure it out.

[neveryoumindthere]

OT but do u have a library nearby where u can get children's books in spanish? maybe have her father (or any of his relatives) speak to her in spanish when he calls or visits or whatever and talk to her about what it's like in Guatemala--just some ideas

[daisysmom]

thats a good idea. She has one book and one video in Spanish and she adores them both. We just moved and I haven't fount the library around here yet. But that would be a great place to start. I don't know if there would be enough interest in this area to have books in spanish or not. Her dad speaks to her in spanish when his stepkids aren't listening to their conversation. He wants them to be able to understand too when they're there. His new wife is trying to learn Spanish as well and says hi, bye, water, and other simple words, but hasn't learned to converse yet. dd's dad is an orphan and the only member of his family he has contact with is an Aunt and her spouse and kids. She's a sweet lady who doesn't speak a word of English, but she won't talk to me since the divorce. Dd only sees her dad 3 or 4 times a year for a few days at a time, so I'm not sure how often se is going to see his aunt. I've thought about getting her a Guatemalan flag for her room, but I haven't found one yet. I've only seen adult t-shirts and pins, but no little flags or magnets or anything yet.

[plum]

I am full blooded American Indian and look it: very brown skin, long thick black hair and dark brown eyes. My husband is white (French-Canadian) and has a darker coloring- easily tanned skin, dark brown hair and dark brown eyes.

We haven't had our baby yet, but we're both thinking it will look pretty brown.

On the other hand, my three younger sisters are much lighter than I am, two of which I would consider to be 'fair-skinned'. Kids at school used to tease us about us having different dads, but we don't. They actually sunburn, which has never happened to me. Genetics are funny.

[daisysmom]

I think I figured it out.

http://babiesonline.com/babies/d/daisydust/

Here's my little angel girl.

[eilonwy]

There are actually some really great books & resources on multiracial youth out there (now)! visit www.mavinfoundation.org; I think they've got a list of great resources. I don't know what's on that site about languages, but I know another really cool language site at www.rosettastone.com where you can actually learn very quickly. I can't remeber what it costs, but you can try it out for free ;). I love languages and learn them very easily, so I had a great time there. :) hth!

[Amazlilith]

Originally posted by saffiyya80
i dont believe the child takes after the mother's culture either...
dh and i believe we all came from Adam (peace be upon him)..and happened to be born in different areas of the world


Didn't think of it that way...I completely agree! :D

[malamamama]

Wouldn't a child take after whichever culture he or she would be raised with, be it the mother's, fathers, or whatever????
If we are talking ethnicity and "looks" that's up to the chosen genes in the miracle moment.....yeah?

[LaffNowCryLater]

:wave I am white (Irish, but got some Native American in me too) and SO is black :dreads (yes, he does have the dreads!). I consider ds mixed. People actually ask me if his dad is either Filipino, Mexican, Puerto Rican, or Hispanic. He is very light skinned and has jet black hair and dark brown eyes that look black. (Check him out in the link in my sig. :D)

[LaffNowCryLater]

Actually, a child takes after the mother's culture. It comes from the idea the Maternity is easier to prove then paternity.
My mom is a elem. teacher and said children go by what their mom is. She said ds is "white" b/c I am but me and SO agree he is Black as he does not look white in any way, and as time goes by he will def. get darker. Ds is "black with a white mom". I was actually caught off-guard when I was getting my episiotomy stitched up and was being asked what to "classify" my child as-white or black.
Actually I don't really think about it.
My theory is by the time ds (5 months old now) is in school the majority of his peers will have tan/brownish skin rather than white or black. (Not just from white/black mixed kids but from all mixes as they usually have tan skin). At least this is how I think it will be here in my area.

[Mizelenius]

nak
My DH is of Korean descent but his culture is mainstream American/German-American. I'm of Irish descent but was raised to be bilingual (Spanish/English). I love it that our daughter won't fit into any box-- she looks mostly Korean, will be bilingual and has a French last name. I think people with diverse backgrounds really challenge people's notions of what race/ethnicity/culture ("What are you?") are.

[jeca]

There was a thread about this awahile ago, probably in the archives by now, I meant to post earleir but forgot I suppose.

Anyway I am black and DH is puertorican which according to my sister makes my babies blackerican. Although is true I have a little extra somethings in me as well I don't recognize that part of my heritage and claim only the blackside, which leads to alot of puzzled looks from the nosy people who are always asking what I'm mixed with. DH is a "darker" puertorican having living on the Island most of his life and our babies range from a beautiful brown to just damn near white.

Here's a tip for you curly haired multiracial mamas. There is a product called CurlyQ's that is esecially for our childrens type of hair and it works wonderfully. I had been struggling with my daughter's hair. The black products were too greasy and the white products dried her hair out. The website has helpful hints too http://www.curls.biz
Just a tip for those who need it, I know I did.

[Indigo73]

I am a mixed mama (Puerto Rican, African, Native American & European) with a white hubby and with an apparently white baby. DS has that peaches and cream complexion that you expect to burn after 3 seconds in the sun. Nope, tans after 3 seconds. He is almost as dark as me, at the moment.

And Jeca, I second the CurlyQ's suggestion - almost all my cousins and I use it on our kids moppy mixed hair.

[LovAttach]

Im white daughter is black/white my other daughter is Panamaninan Latino- French/white and my son is white like me all my 3 kids have differnt fathers. I am now married to the best man now though the other fathers are thugs.

[LovAttach]

None of my kids look like me I gave birth to them but have people come up to me ask me what country I adopted them from. I just stare at them and say Oh I pushed out of my loins and they grossed out and walk away LOL! Perfect stranger can be cruel sone cam up and told me of my dd was pretty but said nothing about my black/white daughter. In front of her.

[intymama]

Originally posted by burritomama
Our little guy was born with black hair that has since turned blonde and has coppery skin. He looks just like his daddy.



This sounds as I f I had written it! My dh is from Swiss and Check descendence, he's very blond and fair skinned (not that pale though :LOL ) I am from Ecuador, in South america. I have dark brown eyes and hair and my skin is brown.

We have 2 children, Shanti who is 6, has light brown hair and eyes and her color of skin is lighter than mine. Her brother Lukas, whos is 2, is blonde and has even lughter color of skin. He doesn't really look "just as" dh but people think so because he's blonde. I always get comments from people comenting on his beautiful curly blonde hair. People will also ask if " Daddy is blonde" It used to botter me but I just answer before I get comments. One time thought a women asked me if my kids had the same dad :eek :angry

I speak only in Spanish to the children and we also have lots of books and music in Spanish. It is very important for me that they grow up bilingual (or kind of) We have ecuadorian flags and lots of pictures and art from Ecuador around the house. Iwant them to know their background and culture.

I like this thread :)

[burritomama]

Yes, it's nice to see this thread revived!

Let's see who else jumps in!

It's been a few months now.

My little guy has grown blonder (if that is possible) and his eyes now are big brown saucers.

We're trying to do the multi-lingual thing - a lot of English a bit of Spanish (I wish mine was better!!!:( ), German and even Polish - see how it goes.

He'll go to his first Dia de Los Muertos party in a couple weeks.

:hippie

[plum]

just updating: we had our baby (wow she's almost a month old already!) and she looks, well, like if you combined us. she's got black hair and her eyes are almost black.

here we are: http://min.midco.net/scout_james/jamie%20and%20baby.jpg

[burritomama]

Apple - what a gorgeous photo of you both.

Congratulations.

:hippie

[intymama]

Apple, congratulations and thanks for sharing. Looking good :love

Burritomama I have never heard of a party for El dia de los muertos. What are you going to do there? Let me know please.

Jula:)

[burritomama]

Well, if it is anything like the others I've been to there will be an ofrenda (altar) honoring the ancestors - guests will contribute photos and flowers (marigolds) and sugar skulls and candles and the favorite food of their dead loved ones, etc.

There will be good food for us to eat as well (pan de muerto) and music - it will be a party like other parties.

This one also seems to have a costume element - the invitation says "come as they were."

I'll let you know how it goes...







:hippie

[BubbiesMami]

DH is Cuban and I am white. My son has beautiful coloring in the summer but in the winter he gets as white as mommy :LOL He has his daddy's big brown eyes. I get tons of compliments on his eyes :D

http://www.boomspeed.com/bratty1pa/closeup.jpg

[Soul-O]

I am Caucasian, my ex-DH is bi-racial (Af-Am and Irish), and our two boys are definite rainbow children.

Ethan has olive-toned skin, dark brown eyes, and straight dark brown hair.

Adam has pinky-tan toned skin, light brown eyes, and curly blond hair.

They are beautiful and unique - Ethan looks somewhat Middle Eastern and Adam looks like a California surfer dude :). I tend to identify them as bi-racial or "other" when forced to make a determination of racial category for them.

[tricia80]

Hello,

I am white and my ex-dh is african american so dd has a nice little tan with an afro... but right now its straight as i permed her hair...

I use biracial when i have to clarify for someone what she is... i cant remember in the U.S. (i used to live there) but up here applications for filling stuff out doesnt even ask ur race... and since u can tell my dd is mixed i rarely have to say anything to anyone...

[eilonwy]

Do any of you have really light or dark kids that people tell you couldn't possibly really be mixed? I hear this all the time, and it's kind of offensive to me.. sure, he's got blue eyes, but he's still my son, kwim?

[tricia80]

My daughter is extremely light....

the only thing u could tell with her is her hair... some ppl say she cant be mine... or if they see her with a hat or something covering her head supposedly they say shes white.. to me u can tell shes mixed..and i dont know why the big deal about her ethnicity is... shes my kid...im sick of ppl labeling everyone

[cappuccinosmom]

I'm white and dh is Ethiopian

ds is a gorgeous mix. Fortunately he does take after his daddy a lot--he got those wonderful exotic eyes and curly dark hair, and tan skin. i'm so plain and "pasty", so I hope all our kids are like ds.

He's the inspiration for my user name, BTW. :D

[luv my 2 sweeties]

I have 2 beautiful bi-racial children. (That's the term I usually use.) I am white, DH is Haitian and quite dark. Our kids are both the *exact* same color (light to medium brown), which I think is wonderful. I love to see them in the tub together with all that beautiful skin blending together! :love I sometimes imagine that it symbolizes their bond with eachother -- that out of the love of two people who look pretty different, came two more people that look similar and embody both ethnicities and neither ethnicity at the same time. That sounds so corny and weird, but it's how I feel sometimes!

Their hair is *not* the same, however. My dd has fairly coarse hair -- more black than white, except that it grows long easily. The front looks more stereotypically "bi-racial", with ringlets and all, but the rest of it tends toward frizzy. She will never be able to wear it long and loose unless she relaxes it. After washing her hair, she sports a 2 1/2 foot afro until I braid it! :LOL I love her braids, but *do* I wish she could wear it loose for special occasions (just for variety). Luckily, she loves her braids too -- the more the better! Her brother got the looser curls (figures -- kinda wasted on a boy! :rolleyes: ) His is also a lighter brown, so it will be interesting to see how people who don't know his parents categorize him racially. He could easily be mistaken for Latino or more likely, dark-skinned Italian simply because of his hair. DD will more likely be recognized as bi-racial or assumed to be black. Should be interesting...

[CookieMonsterMommy]

Hey guys:

White momma (Polish and Italian---look like pure Polish!) of a mixed 5 year old (dad is Black---West Indian, from Barbados).

White people tend to think he's dark Italian ("His Daddy's Sicilian, isn't he? I bet he is!" lol...not quite!).

Hispanic people tend to think he's hispanic (I get Cuban and Colombian a lot) or Dominican

Black people tend to think he's just a white boy or hispanic.

Some people just know tho. (the cool ones anyway--lol jk)

lol-Whatever! He's "Olive" toned (I hate that term! All the olives I've seen are either green or BLACK, and my son is neither!), with straight dk. brown hair and big delicious brown eyes. Before his 1st hair fell out, it was wavy. He looks like a child version of his daddy (minus the melanin and kinky hair!)...except his lips aren't as full.

My ex still thinks he'll "darken up", because he was about the same shade at that age, but now he (ex) is on the darker side of "black" skin color-literally the shade of a hersheys bar (man I miss him so much...). DS is like a chameleon (sp?)...one day he looks as white as me, some days he's dark...who knows!?

QUESTION--Do any of your children get a THRILL out of seeing other mixed kids? I'm not sure if he;s just at that stage, but when at the park, we saw a mixed girl with her white grandma... Well my son stared and analyzed with his 5yo brain and finally exclaimed "I bet her daddy is brown just like my daddy!" The grandma smiled and wasn't offended-how could you be?
lol
And funniest thing: For Easter, he made me buy him a white bunny (the mommy), a chocolate bunny (the daddy), and he himself added a pink PEEP thing to be the son (where he got neon pink from is beyond me!)

Best Wishes, Kelly

[Designeratheart]

Well, I've got a slightly different take on my biracial kids b/c they're both of different races than myself or dh. Since they're adopted they look like neither of us, but we embrace our differences and love it! DD is black and caucasian and DS is Asian and caucasian. Dh & I are caucasian. Makes for some interesting looks when we're all out and about together. :confused: :scratch

:LOL

[luv my 2 sweeties]

QUESTION--Do any of your children get a THRILL out of seeing other mixed kids?

Kelly, my dd hasn't made any comments about other kids yet, but she did have a reaction to a picture of Jesus that surprised me. She has a little kid's bible which, I admit, I chose because of the illustrations -- modern people are multicultural, biblical characters are mostly brownish, with some black and some white thrown in. (The downside is that it turns out I can't stand the text! The paraphrasing for preschoolers is terrible -- I have to constantly edit as I go along. Anyway...) Jesus is brown in this bible, and one day dd pointed this out to me; something she had never done before. She asked why he was brown. I explained about the connection between skin color and geography (on a 3 y.o. level) and said that although we don't have any pictures of Jesus, he lived in a place where most people had kind of light brown skin. "Kind of like yours" I said. She got the biggest grin and fell back on the bed giggling! After a few moments of lying there, she said, still with a smile, "Mommy, tell me about Jesus again."

"You mean about his skin?"

"Yeah" :love

It was just so sweet. I had no idea it would make her *that* happy to think that Jesus had skin "kind of like" hers! We aren't *super* big on Jesus, either, BTW. We aren't evangelical Christians (Quaker Christians is more like it.) We talk mostly about God or the spirit of God, so I was really surprised by her reaction. It made me glad I picked that annoying little Bible, even if I do have to change all the words! :hippie

[purplegirl]

My cousins who are bi-racial and all beautiful have had to face insensitive comments from others. Two of them look obviously bi-racial. One looks like a beautiful black girl with very long hair. She has the most beautiful caramel colored skin and the most gorgeous jet black hair. She is often told that she couldn't be "mixed" because she is too dark.
However because of others' ignorance she often felt "ugly" because she didn't have the same coloring as her brother and sister. Fortunately her parents never made the color of their skin an issue. They were all encouraged to love themselves just because they are children of God.

[eilonwy]

Eli is still a baby, but right now as far as skin color goes, he associates them with people he knows... when he meets a girl with dark skin, for example, he'll say the name of his dark skinned cousin.

My nieces, nephew, and son are four different colors, and their parents are too. :LOL I don't know if my niece has noticed race in particular among her friends, but when asked she'll say that a kid is the color of her sister or cousins or grandmother or aunt. Because there are so many different colored people in her family and life, she tends to assume that it's normal, so she doesn't feel out of place. Sure, she's the darkest of my mother's grandchildren, but she's got cousins on her father's side who are darker as well as lighter.

[tricia80]

Originally posted by CookieMonsterMommy

QUESTION--Do any of your children get a THRILL out of seeing other mixed kids?


I live in a very diverse cultural part of canada... well actually all of canada is quite diverse.... since my daughter was born in the usa her father is obviously african-american... but its funny up here cuz ppl ask if shes african, jamaician, st lucian, etc etc... cuz we have such a diverse amt of ppl it can get to be a very long list before i say shes african american.. her father lives in the U.S.

my dd used to get happy when we first got to canada then we looked around and everyone is biracial... so its not a big thrill anymore... when she went to kindergarten there were 6 kids out of 17 who were biracial... when she went to daycare it was the same.. like half the class was mixed... :LOL

i like my dd's skin tone... not too light (like me who is soo pale i glow in the dark) but that afro man is like wow... lol... she wanted it straightened so i did.. and she loves it... less crying...



Designeratheart -- thats awesome.. i love it when i c ppl who have adopted children outside their own race..one day i hope to do the same...


ok im done rambling now... :wave

[CookieMonsterMommy]

I meant to ad in my 1st post...this 15 y/o girl that I mentor and who I doula-ed for is bi-racial (black/white) and looks it, although she has that smooth capuccino colored skin that all her friends (black and white alike) envy (lol). Anyways, the babies father is light skinned middle-eastern (not too specific--we don't know much about him, he was like 23 and it was a BIG mess, legally, emotionally, etc), and this baby was her color when born...I visited a month later , and this baby is the DARKEST, dark chocolate brown.
I swear, he is darker than any "full-blooded" black baby I've ever seen in my life! And he's only like 25% black! They love it though, but she's freaking out, trying to learn how to do corn rows and braids and all. lol

Just adding to the "proof" of diversity amongst mixed kids. :D
--Kelly

PS-I say "black" and I hope this does not offend anyone. I dislike the term "african american" as a general term for all black people, because as stated in my op, my son's father is West Indian (bajan) black, his ancestors haven't been from Africa for like, a gazillion years. I usually call black people "People with brown skin" to my son, and white people "People with fair skin"... sigh... I hate labels! :rolleyes:

[wendygrace]

I don't know what we are. My family is from Argentina but like most of America, it was founded by immigrants so I usually say, Argentina but mostly Italian (mom's side) and Spanish from Spain (I say it that way because unfort. many "Americans" forget that people from Spain are "Spanish" and its not just a lump term to describe people who speak Spanish). I do not really identify with "hispanics" or "latinos" although I do speak fluent spanish.
Dh is American and he's Irish, German, Russian, and other northern European.

Our kiddos...well, our son is the spitting image of his father. So much so that pics of our son are often confused with pics of my dh. Our daughter is a bit more mixed but she's only 3 months old so who knows. Both appear to have light skin and light eyes at the moment (ds is not yet two). Dd appears to have dark hair and ds has brown hair. People tell me they look alike but I don't see it other than their skin tone.

What do you consider mixed? I have a hard time with this term because people say I am hispanic but although I speak spanish and have a "hispanic heritage", my family is really Italian and Spanish. And my "hispanic heritage" is really Southern European and very different from "Mexican" or "Puerto Rican". I identify more with European heritages yet am different enough that dh and I have culture clashes. I believe it's more a difference of Northern European and Southern European...or North American and South American though.

[eilonwy]

Originally posted by wendygrace
What do you consider mixed?

I call myself "mixed" because I don't identify more strongly with one 'race' or another; I don't really look like I'm any race in particular, but you could look at me and make me anything you wanted. I've been asked if I was Israeli, Hawaiian, Mexican, Puerto Rican, Polynesian (interesting, because I don't really have Asian features.. :shrug), NA, Eskimo... in fact, the only thing I've never been mistaken for is Asian. I could be "black" or "white" or "miscellaneous" but I'd rather not bother with it. It's not who I am: I am mixed. I am something different. :LOL

[tricia80]

5...we didnt use lye tho... and it worked great on her hair.. and i take good care of it... so nothin bad has happend.. i actually noticed shes losing less hair than before...

ok spank me... i know ppl want to when they here we straightened her hair... :LOL

[luv my 2 sweeties]

Tricia,

There's a phrase I've seen around these boards: "My child, my decision." I think what you do with your 5 y.o.'s hair falls into that category. Don't let folks get you down over something as superficial as perming. My uncle (a barber) gave my cousin a perm when she was about 5 at *her* insistance. The whole family laughs now when we remember her curly blond mop that year. She's a fully functional, happy, healthy adult now with naturally straight hair! :hippie

[tricia80]

Originally posted by mahdokht
but make the hair of a white girl curly is not the same as straightening the hair of a black or even partilly black child. It is so much bigger than just a style.


This is true.. many ppl get confused by the term "perm" for white ppl it is to make our hair curly... for black ppl it is straightening it out...

I also made sure it was done professionally and i take care of her hair... so i know what i am doing... one of my closest friends is a hair dresser and she is the one who braids my hair and shes been in the business for the last ohhh 20 yrs.. yes shes much older than i... i have heard horror stories about straightening her hair.. and those usually are from ppl who do not take care of their hair.. and jus cuz its straight does not make it any easier to care for... i didnt push for her to straighten her hair..she wanted it done... and loves it... alot less crying..

ok done rambling...

[AnnMarie]

I have two interracial children. My daughter is white/Hispanic and my son is white/Arab. Both have darker skin than I do. I'm jealous. :LOL

[AnnMarie]

Originally posted by mahdokht
It may be superficial to you, but make the hair of a white girl curly is not the same as straightening the hair of a black or even partilly black child. It is so much bigger than just a style.

I don't see how it's any different. :shrug If the child wants it, why not? It's only hair, it grows back. I've gotten a lot of flack for letting my kids color their hair, but so what? It has always grown back. They like it, it's fun for them.

[purplegirl]

Excellent!:thumb
No need for me to say anything else.
Lisa

[AnnMarie]

Originally posted by mahdokht
Depending on how curly her child's hair is this may be something she has to continue to do or her hair will fall out. Many women call relaxers creamy crack. They call it that because once you relax hair, you must continue to relax it or it will break off.

Wow, I never knew that. I've known people that relax their hair, but I had no idea. Thanks for the info!

[tricia80]

mahdokht,

u know whats funny... i am very proud of my dd's afro and she is too... when she was a baby her fathers family would be all upset when i left it out... saying how demeaning it is against black woman and brings back slavery or something... (b.s.) and said her hair should be constantly plaited, braided, or straightened... and they told me it was very offensive to see her in her afro...

personally i never bought into that... and have multiple friends who were like what the heck...we didnt use lye in her hair... i know this can be an extremely hot topic among the black community.. i have heard both sides of the story..

my daughter is aware shes beautiful and up here she sees many different hairstyles for black ppl.. like i said where we live we have alot of africans, jamacians, ethiopians, somalians etc... she sees woman in dreads, straight hair, afros, etc... and she is fully aware she is black and beautiful.... and her hair wasnt unmanageable before... ive always taken great pride in her beautiful hair... and make sure its the healthiest it can be...

ok done rambling again...

we could debate this one for hrs though.. like i said it is a very hot topic... i hope i havent offended anyone.. sometimes my posts can be misread...

[jeca]

I agree, relaxing a child's hair is too dramatic. It sends across way too many signals to an AA child. I want my daughters to know that hair doesn't have to be straight to be pretty. My mother relaxed my hair when I was in the 8th grade. It all fell out, broke out however you want to call it. I went from having breast lenght hair to chin lengh in a matter of weeks. Depending on a relaxer for years to come is a very serious thing. For one if it's not done right then you'll keep losing your hair. as alrerady stated if you decide later to go natural it has to be cut off with a fresh start.

My yougest daughter has strictly hispanic hair. No kinks, waves or tight curls just fine big bouncy jet black curls that brush straight way too easily. BUT my oldest DD has obviously mixed hair so we do go through teh trials og trying to tame her curls. Moisture is the key but I haven't found a product yet that offers 24 hour moiture that she needs(for her skin either for that matter).

I have a pack of skittles. My son is actually darker than me but most people assume he's mixed just from his nose and hair. My knee baby has her daddy's color and a ehad fully of uncotrollable waves and curls that I usually brush out and put in twists. My baby girl is teh lighter than both of us, most people assume she's not mine or mixed with white. For teh most part when we're out as a family they assume we're all from teh middle east or india.

[ErikaDP]

Originally posted by mahdokht
Oh boy, I really didn't want to get into a big thing here, but when I saw that your daughter's hair was permed all sorts of bells and whistles went off for me. As a black woman and the parent of two bi-racial children this topic has been huge for me. Few white people really understand that hair in the black community is much, much more than just hair, it is very political. I get so nervous when I hear of little brown and black girls whose hair is being permed, the health of the hair is secondary to the health of their minds and that is what concerns me most.

For the most part the only images of beauty that little girls of color see are images of white women, brown women with european features or brown and black women with light contacts an unnaturally straight hair. Children of color are told through every media in existance that their beauty is not beauty and that the lighter, the straighter the closer to European the better. Little girls, especially, are constantly getting messages that they are imperfect and need to buy this or that in order to improve themselves. I think that most of us can agree that it causes our children a great deal of harm. Add that to the issue of a little girl who is ALSO being told that her curly, kinky or nappy hair is ugly or unmanageable or any other variety of deragotory and negative things and you are setting her up for a womanhood of fighting with her beauty.

Mahdokht,

Thank you for one of the best explanations for why straightening a young AA girl's hair must be looked at from more than just a "hair style choice" perspective. I hope that you don't mind me quoting your reply here often.

[luv my 2 sweeties]

Many women call relaxers creamy crack. They call it that because once you relax hair, you must continue to relax it or it will break off. Relaxing the hair dramatically weakens it. When the new growth comes out the point at which the stronger curly hair and the weaker chemically straightened hair meet are a weak point and the hair will break. Most women who go from relaxed to natural hair eventually have to cut thier hair off and start new or it will simply break off and look terrible. You can not compare it to dyeing hair or making straight hair curly.

I didn't know that either. I have no desire to change my dd's hair. In fact for many of the reasons you stated, mahdohkt, I would discourage it. But it's good info to have in case she comes to me later wanting to do this.

I've recently begun to learn how "political" hair is in the black community. (I cringed when my SIL said Brianna had "good" hair, because I know that's a hot button!) I'm also very sensitive to the messages of beauty that our culture sends to all girls, and black girls in particular. Personally, I will encourage my dd to let her natural beauty stand on its own. Nevertheless, I still feel that what a mother and daughter decide to do about the daughter's hair is between them, and if they don't ask for advice, it's probably best not to give it. Especially after the fact. That's MHO, anyway. I felt Tricia was about to be attacked for a personal choice that she and her dd made -- that's why I posted the comment. (I know, it can be a political choice too, but that's not the topic of this thread.)

[ErikaDP]

Originally posted by luv my 2 sweeties
I didn't know that either. I have no desire to change my dd's hair. In fact for many of the reasons you stated, mahdohkt, I would discourage it. But it's good info to have in case she comes to me later wanting to do this.

I've recently begun to learn how "political" hair is in the black community. (I cringed when my SIL said Brianna had "good" hair, because I know that's a hot button!) I'm also very sensitive to the messages of beauty that our culture sends to all girls, and black girls in particular. Personally, I will encourage my dd to let her natural beauty stand on its own. Nevertheless, I still feel that what a mother and daughter decide to do about the daughter's hair is between them, and if they don't ask for advice, it's probably best not to give it. Especially after the fact. That's MHO, anyway. I felt Tricia was about to be attacked for a personal choice that she and her dd made -- that's why I posted the comment. (I know, it can be a political choice too, but that's not the topic of this thread.)
Stephanie,

The reason that Mahdokht and a few other mommas here(myself included) are commenting about Tricia's post is because of what you said in the above quote-"I've recently begun to learn how "political" hair is in the black community." I am sure that there are many people outside of the black community who do not know about the hair issue and it's complex history. And what seems to be just a simple choice about hair care ends up meaning so much more later on in the daughter's life-physically as well as emotionally.
Self-acceptance is very important in a young girl's life, and I feel it is even more important when mother and daughter do not share the same features. This fact is true not only when the difference is racial(I wish there were another term-we are one race-human!), but also when moms and daughters are of different body-types, colorings, heights, etc. We as women and as mothers have to be aware of how our daughters self-image can be greatly affected by seemingly small events and we just wanted her to be aware of how this issue can have a great effect on her young daughter.
I also don't believe that any of the mommas commenting here would attack Tricia for her choice, we just wanted to make her aware of another point of view.

[tricia80]

luv my 2 sweeties, Thank you.


Now i am gonna say this.... I was raised in the black community.. i understand what everyone is saying... my daughter is aware she is beautiful... i tell her everday... and trust me she will never think anyway else... We DID NOT use lye in hair... I understand where some ppl are coming from for not relaxing their childs hair... I know my daughter has the "bad hair" which has been said to me soo many times... and its not bad its not anything.. i love it.. its beautiful.. its soft and georgous (too late cant spell)... I did not relax my daughters hair to fit in anywhere or to make her look like me... Like i said what she wants done to her hair is her business... shes happier now cuz it does hurt her less... thats her saying it to me.. not me telling her... she loves her hair.. and it is beautiful and i do take great care of her hair.. and because we did NOT use lye it will not be irreperably damaged... I am also quite aware from both sides of the story in this debate... i believe i had already stated that...

ok i think i covered all points... i felt that no one was reading my previous posts... so i had to clarify we DID not use Lye...lol...


SUBJECT CHANGE

does anyone run websites for their children or do they have a family website???

I do and i find its fun.. my daughter has me type up what she wants to tell ppl... she is jus starting to read and sometimes i think the only reasons she wants to read is so she can type to her grandma who lives in Az...

[3_opihi]

I know this is a weird point to be jumping into the thread, but I just wanted to say hi! I have two little hapa boys. I'm white and dh is the standard Hawaiian mix of Japanese and we're not sure what else, since he was raised in foster care. I can't tell who they look more like anymore...just beautiful to me I suppose. :heartbeat

On the topic of hair, Dh has curly black, my boys both have golden curly hair, not common for Hapas. I am constantly getting remarks on it --and it drives me crazy! "Where'd he get that hair? Japanese don't have curly hair!" Well, look at his dad --he has curly hair. Obviously Japanese can have it!!!!

[QUOTE]When we lived in CA, people often asked if I had adopted my dd because she was darker than me. [QUOTE]

Yep. Except I'm really young, so people just thought I was the nanny.

One of the things I love so much about Hawaii is that not only is it very diverse racially, but practically everyone is mixed with something...makes for some really beautiful people (both inside and out).

[plum]

i posted on this list in the beginning, before dd was born.

i have her picture in my signature. she has black hair and very very dark eyes (almost black) but her coloring is closer to her daddy's.

we both think she's beautiful.

:love

[tricia80]

Just to clarify a few points (really I swear I'm not beating the post mortem horse):

sure sure sure ur not... j/k :LOL

Regardless of the chemical used to straighten the hair, the problem with breakage if she wants to grow it out is the same. I use the term lye loosely, it really doesn't matter what chemical is being used one is really no better than the other. I used to have a website written by a chemist who is an African-American woman, explaining the whole issue of relaxers. Anyone know that site?

Nope... and im completely aware of breakage....

BTW some would argue that there is no such thing as healthy relaxed hair as the chemical process used to change the texture of the hair works by weakening it..... but that's neither here nor there for this discussion.

Ok fine i will rephrase.. healthy as it can be...


I've heard two different people mention "both sides of the issue." What do you mean by both sides?

ppl who say no dont do it and ppl who do... if u read my prev posts u would of seen what i had said about my ex-dh's family.. some AA woman think its disrespectful to not relax your hair as it has something to do with slavery and since now in days there are things out there to help... now i didnt say that was my viewpoint..so no flaming or what not... i dont agree at all.. that is what my ex MIL said when i kept my daughters afro out... and she wasnt the only one to state this..and i dont remember much of what they said to the tee as it was like 4 yrs ago.. and they dont make any decisions as i havent spoken to them in almost 3 1/2 yrs and we are 3000 miles apart...


Ok i think i covered it all... any more on this subject u can pm me.. cuz now we are hijacking the thread... and as u can tell with my subject change im non confrontational and am not interested in arguing....

Ok i think ive made sense.. im tired..

[tricia80]

Plum, Your dd is absolutely georgeous.. such a cutie... Welcome back :wave



mamamaya, welcome :wave

[thrifty_sahm]

I am brand new to MDC. I have a 2yo son. I am white (complete mutt here) and his dad is black (has white in near past).

How do I put this...we are more into being a person than being a race so race really isn't a factor in the raising of our son (yet).

He will learn about both of his families as we believe it is very important.

I am still learning and trying to figure out how to raise my son with the respect to his heritage. I am sure both sides will do a good job. :)

Here is a link to his web site. There are 100s of pics of him.
http://groups.msn.com/DavidKimberleeCartwright/babycartwright1.msnw

Have fun and great to be here.

[MamaAllNatural]

I don't know how I even came across this thread. :scratch Anyway, I'm glad I found it. I am Icelandic, European & Native American and my dh is Black and Peruvian. We have three lovely children and they seem to get lighter as we go.:confused: I have blonde hair (which neither of my parents do - it's a STRONG gene I carry) so all of our kids came out with light brown/blonde hair. DS #1 has an afro but dd has barely curly hair. It's very thin and has just very light ringlets. DS#2 has straight hair still (they all did for the first year) so I don't know what his hair will be like but he's baasically my dd's twin so I suspect it won't be very curly at all. They all have lightish brown skin. The oldest is "medium" the youngest is practically "white." Anyway, I refer to my kids as mixed. And I CRINGE when I hear the term "Mulato." I know some people are well meaning when they use this term but it really kills me. I try to calmly explain that it is derived from "Mule" (and all that implies) and it's "not very polite" to say the least. (sorry a little OT there!)

I do have some things I'd like to say about the hair issue but only if it's ok with all of you. I realize it may be a dead issue at the point I'm jumping in on this thread (although what I have to say is not just about relaxing it, it's also about just not caring for it properly).

[eilonwy]

I asked my mom what she thought about the hair issue, and she said that as a white woman she'd be uncomfortable relaxing her children's hair because a)she wouldn't be sure she was doing it correctly and b)she feels like she could never understand all of the ramifications, both social and physical.

(Not that it's an issue at this point; my mother's youngest child is 22 years old!)

My sister relaxed her older daughter's hair so that it would be easier for her to comb, and on one hand it's a good thing because my nieces hair gets combed and braided much more often than it did before but I still have real issues with it. She's a little girl, and combing her hair wasn't that difficult before. I understand that it was solely a time management issue for my sister (she works two jobs and has two nappy-headed girls) but I still find myself irritated by it. Like I said, because of the time factor things are much easier and my niece's hair gets combed a lot more often than it did before the perm, but ...ick!

Oh, and about lye vs. no-lye: the two are actually very similar chemicals, and if you want the truth lye is better for the hair than 'no-lye'. Lye is (chemically) NaOH or sodium hydroxide, and it has a reputation as a scary and dangerous chemical (which it is!) because it's the main ingredient in Red Devil (stuff you use for clogs in the sink). "No-Lye" relaxers are made of CaOH, or calcium hydroxide. For some reason, this chemical doesn't have nearly the reputaion that NaOH has... probably because people figure that if lye=dangerous then no-lye = not dangerous. At any rate, this is just as scary a chemical as NaOH, and in some ways, it's more scary. On a chemical level, CaOH is more able to strip moisture from hair (not less) and therefore able to do more damage to hair than NaOH. It's also easier for your scalp to absorb and more able to wreak havoc with your body for many reasons (calcium is more readily utilized by biological systems than sodium is, though levels of one can and do affect levels of the other..) Just thought I'd share another perspective on that creamy mess! :LOL

(Sorry, I spent several years as a chem major, I'm a bit geeky on this topic! :LOL)

[luv my 2 sweeties]

I'm not a mom of color, but I imagine it would be quite a different experience. In our family, we don't have AA culture, because my dh and his family are Haitian. DH never fully assimilated into the wider black culture in school, etc., partly because of cultural comfort levels, and partly because of the prejudice between African Americans and African and Carribean immigrants. (This was in Boston.) The experience of being black in America (the relationship with the "mainstream" world) is similar, but the cultural stuff -- language, music, family roles, even history -- is not the same. My in-laws are in the US, though not close by, so the kids have some contact with them. They bring to our family the "immigrant" experience more than the "black" experience, if you KWIM. DH and his sibs experience american racism more accutely.

As far as the kids go, we have all kinds of ideas on how to transmit Haitian culture. We have Haitian art and aritfacts in the house, DH tells stories of his childhood, they see their Haitian family members, etc. As they get older, we will study Haitian history with them (we're homeschooling). Aside from studying AA history and attending local cultural events, I don't know how or if they will get much in-depth experience with AA culture. Hopefully they will have freinds of several races. I realize that their looks may lead others to assume that they are AA, and their lack of familiarity with mainstream AA culture could get awkward, but we can only do what we can do! I think not being in school will help (not being labeled/made fun of, etc.), as will the fact that there are *many* bi- and multi-racial families in our city. They are not alone, by any means.

[eilonwy]

This is an especially difficult situation for me because of my own lack of experience with AA culture, and the fact that my son only looks mixed to a very well trained eye (his skin is a it dark for the average white baby, and he has funny-colored hair in the sun). When he's out with daddy, people assume that he's white. They're often surprised to meet me, because while I don't look distinctly AA, I'm definately not white. :LOL

Our (extended) family is very mixed, the kids are all different colors, hair textures, etc. Still, my oldest niece is the only one who even comes close to approximating AA. Her features are very mixed, but her skin is dark enough & her hair nappy enough that people assume that she's black. Her sister has very light skin, but nappy hair.

I have no idea what I'm going to teach Eli, except that it's very important to me that he thinks of himself as mixed/multiracial, that he's aware of himself that way, because it messed with me for years that some people would tell me I was white and some would tell me I was black and some would tell me that I couldn't be whatever I said I was at the moment. :shrug I'm curious to see the other responses here.

[tricia80]

I havent really thought about this issue... but i look at the way i raise dd and definately see both cultures... i read books written by AA authors and surrounding black culture, we have friends of almost every black culture constantly around us, i havent emphasized color much on her... i dont even think she realized the difference between mommy and daddy before ppl started making her...

she is homeschooled so later on she will get an in depth look into AA history and cultures... but not jus AA cultures but all cultures as in canada we have everyone here... :LOL

my daughter loves her skin tone and her hair so i see no probs there.. im jus tryin to think if there is any more problems ive can think of.. we dont have issues in our city as there are lots of multiracial families...

i do not know if i even answered the question.. i jus moved my whole house around.. needed a break so here i am on MDC

[tricia80]

Well for us dd cant help but be raised around other cultures... she has friends of many different cultures and religious backgrounds...

I am glad for this since I want her to be able to talk with anyone and feel comfortable and so far soo good...

she has learned to speak PATWA with her jamacian friends, and understands native canadian words, and as she gets older she will probably learn about all other cultures in our city as well... since there are lots of celebrations during the year surrounding various cultures i like to take her to those...

how culturally different is it where everyone else lives???

[MamaAllNatural]

I'm so with ya Rynna. We celebrate every different race/culture/nationality our children have. My children love it. They're proud of it. It is also the same for me as with your dh. When I am out w/just my two youngest, most people (esp. white people) think they're white and I get compliments on their "tans.":rolleyes: (Those comments have come to irritate me over the years. I could go on for days about it - lots of stories :LOL ) When my oldest is with us too or when the whole fam is together the mixture is obvious and there's no question about the younger two. I also have friends who are a Mexican/White couple and the dad (who is the Mexican one) swore that when he was alone in public w/his dd, people looked at him like he had kidnapped his own baby (she was very white).:angry I think some people are still a bit in the dark about mixed people.

Anyway, about the hair thing, (at the risk of getting flamed) I have always felt very strongly about this. It really upets me to see a non black mom with a black daughter whose hair is being totally neglected. I'm sorry but if you're not black and you plan on having a black child, you need to respect, love, cherish and value everything about them - including their hair! When I see some cute little mixed girl w/a white mom and her hair is just out of control, totally not being taken care of properly it really makes me sad. What kind of message is that sending to her? What does that say about her mom? I just want to scream "For God sakes, learn to do your own kid's hair!" Sometimes I want to offer to teach them how, but people get offended so easily. Honestly, I do afro's better than I do straight hair (very pathetic since I have straight hair:rolleyes: ) and I'm a bit dissapointed that my dd doesn't have an afro. My ds grows his out sometimes though and lets me braid it up.:love I used to corn row dh's hair but he keeps it super short now. Back on the subject, I don't mean offense to the above poster's siter, but this is exactly a case of not knowing how to care for her dd's hair. She *doesn't* have to comb it every single day. If she doesn't want to do it every morning she needs to braid it up. I'm sure she can find someone to teach her how if she can't figure it out. There are so many different types of braids she can do and many can last for a while.

I think all the hair straightening in our society is a problem. IMHO it's so much more than just a hair style. Some of the above posters already illustrated this for me so I won't go into a rant about it.

I do have one more thing to share though. I used to work at a group home for DD (Developmentally Disabled) children. I came to work one day to find they had cut the AA girl's hair off so they didn't have to worry about doing her hair. I was so pissed!:af I asked them how that would be different from cutting the other little girl's hair off that is long and straight. No one seemed to get it so I took it to the people who own and run all the homes. They were nice about it (I think maybe a little scared of me:eek ) and hired me out to come do her hair once a week ( I would give her "dos" that would last for the whole week). She got a lot of compliments on her hair and, even though she was a little girl who was unable to speak, I know she was very happy about it.

So these are my gripes. Hair is sometimes more than just hair. We need our children to feel beautiful and happy about themselves just the way they are. What does that tell them if their mommy does all kinds of things with her own straight hair but can't be bothered to mess with her dd's kinky hair? I just feel like the world is such a hard place for girl's to grow up in already, we need to give them all the confidence and pride that we can.

[MamaAllNatural]

Rynna, I also could tell your son was mixed. I remember clicking on his pic a month ago;:love It's funny when you have mixed kids it seems you're better at being able to spot one (whether it's the same mixture as your kids or not).:)

[tricia80]

Originally posted by MamaAllNatural
It's funny when you have mixed kids it seems you're better at being able to spot one (whether it's the same mixture as your kids or not).:)

That is soooo true... my friends are amazed i can tell which kids are mixed...


I have seen ppl who also neglect their childrens hair... and sometimes i wanna scream... I make sure everyday i take care of dd's hair... make sure its braided and looking nice and if it isnt braided then i make sure it looks good... i have taught some of the white mothers i know with mixed babes to do their kids hair... heck i have friends of pure white kids who want me to do their kids hair...

[tricia80]

Everyone that has posted their babes pics they are soooo cute... i love lookin at pics... probably why dd's webpage has some of hers.. i need a better webcam tho...

[eilonwy]

Originally posted by MamaAllNatural
It really upets me to see a non black mom with a black daughter whose hair is being totally neglected... I don't mean offense to the above poster's siter, but this is exactly a case of not knowing how to care for her dd's hair. She *doesn't* have to comb it every single day. If she doesn't want to do it every morning she needs to braid it up. I'm sure she can find someone to teach her how if she can't figure it out. There are so many different types of braids she can do and many can last for a while.


She does braid it, always has. The thing is, she has two jobs and two little girls and braiding both of their heads up (before the evil perm :rolleyes: ) took about a day and a half. That's a long time when you've got a life outside of home. Not only is their hair nappy, it's very long (mixed hair, and our genes). My older niece's hair is halfway down her back unbraided, the younger's hair doesn't grow quite as fast but it's still down to her shoulders. Imagine an afro that would be about a foot and a half long on a 6 year old, if it wasn't so fine that it can't stay puffy at that length. (It sort of collapses under it's own weight).

At any rate, I agree with you, but I think it's even sadder to see an AA child with an AA mother and their hair uncombed (and it happens a lot!) I don't think any white women have been offended when I offered to teach them to braid their babies' hair (and I've gone up to perfect strangers and done it!). They're usually really grateful to have the help, they just don't know how (or who) to ask. Black women will usually approach someone who's daughter's hair is adorable and braided and say "Hey, who did that for you and where can I get my daughter's done?" We had a (black) neighbor who always admired my nieces' hair and just couldn't braid her own daughters & put in the pretty beads. She was thrilled to pieces when my sister offered to comb her little girl's hair. (This was a long time ago, when my younger niece didn't have really long hair and so only took an hour or two to wash & braid up).

[MamaAllNatural]

Rynna, My main point was more about moms just not taking care of their dd's hair too. It sounds like those girls have A LOT of hair!:)

Thanks for your stories and info. I'll try to be more bold next time at offering to show some moms how to do their kid's hair.

[eilonwy]

Originally posted by mahdokht
For me religion trumps culture hands down.

Ah, religion. For us, religion is culture in large part. I'm Jewish, and there is a whole culture that goes along with American Judaism, as well as "old country" Judaism (in our case, Belarus & Russia). Lots of culture there, and it's very important to me that our children identify with that from the beginning (hence the Hebrew names).

Mike is of Amish and Mennonite descent (very close; his mother was raised Amish and his father was raised Mennonite). Eli's got a *very* 'Dutchy' last name, and it's important to me (moreso than to Mike, I think) that Eli understand the signifigance of that. Again, these are religions that come with built-in culture out the wazoo. :LOL I'd love to do a week-long "Frontier House" type thing where we all live & work on an Amish farm for a little while; I'm absolutely certain that Eli's grandmother has some first & second cousins who'd be more than happy to help us out. Mike has no desire to do it, and his mother said "You enjoy yourself! I've already done it and I have to say no thanks!" :LOL She was so funny, she looked at me like I was nuts when I said I wanted to try it. :LOL

[thrifty_sahm]

Originally posted by mahdokht
Yesterday a friend of mine (who is Mexican and married to an African American man) asked me what I planned on doing to help my children form their cultural identity. I was really dissapointed cause i didnt have much of an answer. I mean, since I am the African American in the relationship I guess I sorta expected my kids to get it by osmosis:rolleyes:.



I am not sure if you saw my intro but this is pretty much the way I feel too. I don't really know much except the way I was raised and my christian views. I was not brought up in a very accepting family (alot has changed). So I just do my best and live life like I would even if dh and ds were the same race.

We live in CA and I am the minority on my street. We are in a very diverse (of other cultures) area. We just moved here a few months ago but I have always promised that I would never put my son in an area that would not be accepting of him.

All I can say is I do my best and my family and my dh's will do their best to teach him about there families.

I think it is more important for him to know and understand his families than it is his color. (at this time anyways.) My views may change on this as he gets older.

[malamamama]

About the hair issue......two of my mama friends who have African mixed kids with curly hair (not completely kinky) use spray leave-in conditioner to deal with their curls. The one little girl has big, big hair when lose, and it looks great and cared for with the conditioner!

My dd is hapa....1/2 caucasian 1/2 Filipina.
She is 3 1/2 and is just starting to realize the difference in she and I. The other day we went to the beach for the first time in a long time. My back got burned where I didn't have sunscreen and she just turned a beautiful shade darker. So I was explaining to her how she and I have different skin, cuz papa helped to make her and he is all Filipino, so she is part like him and part like me. It was sweet to see her thoughtfully processing this info.

As far as the culture.....other than encouraging dh to speak more Tagalog with dd, I have been thinking more of Hawaii's culture in terms of dd.

We are in a unique position as most of the people on this island of 60,000 are mixed.
From the mix comes the Pidgeon language which I think is beautiful. Like ebonics, the use in learning institutions is questionable. However, I feel that its evolution which emerged from the plantation days is very relevant. Already, dd has picked up certain words and expressions (not necessarily from dh and I), and I don't correct her to a proper english cuz that language is of its own and she is naturally picking it up. So Mahdokht, I do think that so much is simply absorbed through day to day living.
And at this point my focus has been more on teaching healthy eating habits! Considering how popular SPAM is, I'm not pushing all aspects of her people!:lol
When I think about cultural exposure for dd, I more often think Hawaiian than Filipino. In that embrace she will be exposed to and interact with Filipinos as well, cuz of the mix here.
One of my favorite, now deceased, Hawaiian musicians spoke out saying "...support all things Hawaiian, full on....." That message struck a chord deep inside. And I feel, as a caucasian living here, that it is my responsibility to do that, cuz white people almost wiped out the Hawaiian people and their culture. It's the least I can do now, to support the resurgence.
Right now in dd's life, she has Caucasian, Filipino, Hawaiian, Mexican, Japanese, Chinese, and African, African-American and Native American influences. Some on an intimate level and some on a larger life scale. She exemplifies a little of each of these influences in her mannerisms and ways and interests already. So it will be interesting to see where she goes in life. As her mama, I will continue to provide exposure and encourage her on whatever path(s) she chooses.
As for my own heritage, Irish and Norwegian, I probably identify most with my Celtic roots on a spiritual level as I'm not really into any one religion, but am very in touch with my earth based spiritual connection, so dd is already living with that on a day to day basis.
My deepest hope for her is that she lives her life with inspiration and a heartfelt connection with the spirit that flows within her. Right now, she's there in that purity. And whatever path, culture, religion etc. that she takes to remain there in life is up to her.:love

So that's the experience happening in our lives right now....lovin' this thread....and all the perspectives...

[ErikaDP]

Hi Everyone,

I jumped in and commented on a post without introducing myself.
I have 4 kids, 3 that are adults and an 11yr old. My husband and I are AA but we have a green-eyed sandy brown haired daughter(who looks a lot like Rynna) and a blue-eyed sandy brown haired son. People always assume that my husband is white when I am with them alone and they assume I am white when they are with my husband without me. When we are all together as a family, we get some very interesting looks.
When my daughter was younger, she was asked "what are you mixed with?" all the time and she used to tell everyone she was light-black. I was never thought to be her mother, I was either the nanny or the step-mother. And my son has had it even worse. People always are commenting about his blue eyes, so much so that he had been known to say when he was younger, "I have a nice smile too." At 11, he still calls himself tan when asked what he is.
Because my kids' eye colors skipped two generations-both my husband, myself and both sets of our parents are all brown eyed-we didn't expect the different colors. And I never thought about my grandfather not being black.
But when my daughter was born blue-eyed and white skinned(I am brown and my husband is tan), I knew that I was going to need to be aware of how she was going to be treated differently than myself. And because of our differences, I think her racial identity was formed a lot earlier than mine was(hers at 3 or 4 compared to my 8 or 9). I often comment that she is more comfortable in her skin than most people I know. She has a very strong sense of herself as a black woman, and most of her friends are multi-cultural(as are mine).
I have learned so much about multi-cultural living because of my children. I was raised in a multi-cultural family but I thought that everyone's family was like mine(My family looks like the U.N.).
This thread is really great, I hope that I can get some of my friends and family to read it.

[luv my 2 sweeties]

I'm curious to hear more about religion from those who practice one. Finding a church has been a huge ordeal for us, since Sunday is the most segregated day of the week! :( DH's backgroud is Catholic (which in the US is pretty white,) but neither of us are interested in attending a Catholic church. My background is evangelical Christian, but I'm not really that anymore either -- not that conservative. We tried an AME church once, but it was too charismatic for us -- especially DH! He was pretty shocked when the spirit "moved"! :LOL I was prepared for it, but not too comfortable with it. (Reminder if you don't remember my earlier posts: he's black [Haitian] and I'm white; we have 2 kids.)

So we tried the "mainline" protestant churches. Mostly white, mostly boring, mostly not for us. By this time, our dd had arrived, and I was concerned about her being the only dark child in a sea of white faces. There were 1 or 2 other black/white interracial families, but their kids were older, and this was a fairly large church. They were very welcoming, and we even started to get involved there, but ultimately DH wasn't comfortable being so much in the minority and I wasn't happy with the theology (it was kind of a conservative UMC congregation.)

We tried Unity -- a *little bit* more diverse, but still not right theologically. <sigh> I was getting totally discouraged. But last year we found the Quakers. DH and I (especially me) are both happy with the beliefs espoused there. There are no sermons of course, but the children do recieve religious instruction, so it's important that we be mostly on the same page with what they are teaching. The racial mix is still mostly white, but there is some diversity, and it's a small enough group that the "minority status" doesn't feel too overwhelming. There are only a few children, and no other black children, but the breakdown in dd's class is something like 2 white, 1 black/white mixed (dd), and 1 latino/white mixed. So again, it's not an overwhelming thing. We currently rent space in a UCC church which is in a mostly white neigborhood, but our meeting (Quakerspeak for congregation) is soon to be building our own meeting house in a very diverse part of the city, so hopefully that will attract some folks of various ethnicities. I would love to see more people of color, especially those with kids. Bottom line, we have finally found a place where we both feel comfortable socially and theologically, but it was a *long* search! It's still not perfect, but at least the Quakers have a pretty good track record of truely believing in equality among all people. (Not spotless by any means, but they've nearly always been ahead of the curve.) We both feel the difference there in how we are accepted. It's a nice feeling, and I think Brianna (dd) picked it up right away too. My usually reserved little girl warmed up to the Friends immediately: she danced with another child in the middle of the circle after worship on her first day there! :love

I'd love to hear the stories of how some of you found places of worship that felt inclusive and comfortable for your families, or of the struggles you've had in that regard.

[thrifty_sahm]

luv my 2 sweeties
I sent you a PM.

[eilonwy]

I was actually raised in an Orthodox Jewish household (I call it "half-assed Orthodox"; we didn't always do everything, but when we did we did it all the way :LOL) but I didn't like going to Shul, ever. The davening was fine, the service was fine, but I couldn't stand the kids or the adults with their snide comments that we weren't supposed to hear. My mother is white and very Russian-looking; super-fair skin, nearly black hair, hazel eyes. My siblings and I are four different colors, different hair textures & colors.... one of my sisters has amber eyes like mine, my other sister has very pale blue eyes, and our brother has medium brown eyes. At any rate, there was a rumor going around that my mother had four children by four different men (not true, and no one's business if it had been). We were dirt poor, and (most) people were not nice to us. We were also much much smarter than the other kids... and that was just intolerable to them. Poor people and non-white people are supposed to be stupid, and here we were with less money and darker skin than anyone they'd ever met, and we were all four so far ahead of these kids intellectually that they were eating our dust. :shake They hated us, and we hated them right back.

I did a lot of religious exploration and theological study in my teens, was a practicing Pagan for a while, and pretty happy with myself. Eventually, I came to the conclusion that nothing I'd learned about Judaism actually contradicted the beliefs I'd come to hold. I developed my own ideas about God, Wisdom, Truth, etc. and was very happy with it. I decided that I could honestly call myself Jewish and not feel like I was living a lie, but I would never be Orthodox. I could be Pagan at the same time (I have some very strange ideas about God! :LOL) and light my candles & incense and be happy.

Around this time I met Mike, who had grown up in a seriously conservative Evangelical Christian household. He was not that conservative at all, but he still considered himself a Christian. He said that his father just didn't understand how he could call himself a Christian and not go to church on Sundays, but he didn't care. :LOL We discussed religion a few times, (me, Mike, and his dad who was a Minister for years) and I learned a few things about very conservative Christianity; namely, that they take single lines of the Bible out of context and that the overwhelming majority have never read the Aramaic, Hebrew, or even the Greek of the New Testament, or if they have they have no idea what the words mean. I was immediately irritated by the complete lack of logic. :shake I could not make it work for me. We let the subject drop for two years....

And then I got pregnant. There is nothing like pregnancy to make you think about God again, let me tell you! :LOL It was like a switch went on and I realized that I needed something to teach my son. I went to the Conservative Temple in town, and it was okay but not quite for me. I waddled in to the Reform Temple with my huge belly, and thought it was very strange at first (they skip stuff and shuffle things around! :LOL) but was immediately attracted by the references to the matriarchs as well as the patriarchs in prayers. It was really funny, the first Friday night I went for services, the Rabbi came to say hi to me, and started to ask how long I'd been Jewish when a family friend came up and said "This young lady has a very long history in the Jewish community of Lancaster." (He has since saved me from many such conversations! :LOL) I explained that I'd been raised Orthodox which was why very few people at the Reform Temple knew me, but I was definately Jewish, by birth even, and it was all good.

I really enjoy it there, I feel very comfortable, and talked about joining up. I told them that I have no money at all, but I was willing to help out in any way I could and that's how I ended up teaching Sunday school this year. :LOL Next year I probably won't teach, but I'll still do some volunteer work around the office or what-have-you. :) It's a very affluent congregation, there aren't many people who can't afford to pay dues, so it's all good.

My husband said that he'd like his children to grow up to be Christians, but I told him flat out that he needs to come up with some kind of logical argument for me. Eli is being raised Jewish with an awareness of his Christian heritage, and Mike is really more comfortable with that because in Reform Judaism, Eli will never hear anything about how his parents are horrible sinners who are going to hell. He'll never hear the words "Because I said so" when he asks a question, or "Because the Bible says so". A child with a question is seen as a wonderful thing in Judaism, not a bother to be swatted out of the way until the end of class. :rolleyes:

Easter weekend, Mike and I had a really hard time. We went to church Sunday morning with the IL's and the sermon was.. well, it was horrific (I posted about it on the Jewish Moms thread). Mike now feels an overwhelming need to a)find a church/congregation where he's comfortable and b)talk to his parents (father & sister) about their church. I walked out with a profound sense of justification. I never want Eli walking into that church again, and Mike doesn't either. Nothing short of a funeral will see any of my children in that church.

I also noted something interesting on the bulletin board: There was a flyer about discipleship and children, saying that the vast majority of people who 'Accept Jesus as their Lord and Savior' do so between the ages of 5 and 13, and that's why it's so important to minister to children. I was very offended by this, and asked Mike about it; if your logic is so shady that you honestly don't expect anyone over the age of 14 to accept it, why not develop a better argument? He said "Well, it makes sense that kids would stick with their religious training. That's why they go to Sunday school. Jewish kids go to Sunday school too, right? Why do they go, then?" I explained that Jewish kids don't really recieve religious training, they recieve religious instruction which is entirely different. They're taught Hebrew language, basic Jewish ideas/morals, to ask questions and how to find answers. It's entirely different from Christian Sunday school, which as far as we've been able to determine is meant to instill fear of hellfire and love of Jesus and the idea that faith is more important than a reasonable answer.

So the more I learn, the less sense Christianity makes to me. :shrug I don't have a problem with Mike being a Christian, but he knows what he has to do if he wants to teach that to our children. What he knows is that he wants his sister and father to have absolutely no role to play in our kids' religious instruction, so we're in total agreement there. :LOL

Wow, that's long! :eyes Maybe I should have sent a pm, too? :LOL

[tricia80]

I was raised in a Roman Catholic household... I always got in trouble with priests.. i would always question things at sunday school... and they would pull me away privately and told me to talk to the priest..when i talked to him he would try to guilt trip me into not asking questions... and i didnt understand why girls were not allowed at that time to be alter "boys"... and figured since my needs were not being met spirtually i would see if i could find a path that did speak to me... i eventually chose to be Pagan... it fulfills me more than catholicism... and i love the diversity..in paganism there are soo many different ppl from all walks of life... so i am quite happy... i see lots of different ppl so i have no fear if dd wants to follow my path.. i think she will be jus fine and not the only "brown" face in the crowd...

[LuvJAH]

Greetings all.

I myself am biracial (AA father and Caucasian mother). My SO is AA. We recently had a hair incident with our ds. He is 4 years old and in his first year of Montessori school. The school and surrounding area are very diverse. He has long hair that I usually keep braided. Well one day I left his braids out. His hair is pretty bushy/curly, kinda like the singer Maxwell.

Anyway - a parent of another child told my ds he looked like buckwheat. :eek Needless to say we were offeneded and hurt - evenmore so by the fact that my ds demanded that his hair be braided that night. I couldnt do it that night and the next day he did not want to go to school. Of course he does not know who buchwheat is but he saw the reactions of others and new something negative was said, specifically about his hair.

All has been worked out between us and the other parent but of course now my ds has developed a sensitivity to his hair when its not braided. He does not like his naturally curly/bush hair and now his father and I have to try to reverse the damage. :(

[plum]

:hug oh, no!

[MamaAllNatural]

:hug Poor little guy. That's terrible. I hate things like that. Maybe you can get him around some older boys with big afros and point out how nice it looks. My ds thinks older boys are cool so this helps him.

[sandy from Toronto]

Hi,
we are expecting our first baby in August. I am white, anglo-saxon background and my husband is biracial - Burmese and Indian. He was born and raised in India, but does have a bicultural/biracial background since his Burmese mother had a great influence on him. I don't know what our child will look like, I imagine he will have darkish skin and black hair, but he may also have some oriental features. My husband is very unique looking and people can not initially place him...they ask are you Latino, Native Canadian, Arab...he gets everything. It will be exciting to learn what our little boy looks like and who he is. I think we will encourage him to identify as biracial and bicultural. This shouldn't be very difficult living in Toronto, Ontario, Canada. We have a very multicultural/multiracial city.
Sandy

[plum]

welcome! congratulations on the baby.

[tricia80]

I hate it when adults think they are making jokes or whatever and hurting a little boys feelings... thats sad.. poor little guy....

:wave Welcome Sandy I am from Hamilton.. Congrats on your baby...

[Indigo73]

I remember growing up trying to straighten my "fro." I am of african, italian, scottish and pennsylvia dutch (german) descent.

I was teased about my hair a lot. Now most of the girls would die trying to get my thickness and curls.

LuvJAH, I second MamaAllNatural's advice. Nothing like reverse peer pressure.

[LuvJAH]

Both me and SO have dreadlocs and most of our friends have nautral hair so ds is exposed to a lot of natural hair luv..kiwm?.

I dont think its ever OK to comment on a childs apperance in a manner they do not understand....like comparing them to someone whom they have no idea who it is.

[mollyeilis]

New person here...the baby isn't quite here yet, so we're still wondering who it will look like. We have MANY conversations about this. :)

I'm almost as Irish as they come, with a bit of Scots-Irish, English, and German/Swiss Jew thrown in there for good measure.

Right now I'll comment on MY hair, because even though I'm white (rather, I'm pink), I have had HUGE issues with it all my life. I grew up around either white girls with stick straight hair (until jr. HS when they started perming it) and Asian girls with stick straight hair (until HS when they started perming it).

I have what I now realize is one of the many permutations of a perfect head of Irish hair; about 4 different colors naturally, with curls that are in full force one day (or half day) and just sort of there the next.

When I was growing up the curls weren't all over; rather they were ringlets in the front and blah frizzy waviness that tangled like crazy on the sides and in the back. :confused:

Every time my mom brushed my hair I cried and had a headache that lasted a day. It hurt SO bad. And I hated how it looked. Someone said "There are few things in this world worse than looking in the mirror everyday and hating yourself for something that you can't change."

Yep, I agree. And I wasn't even lucky enough to know where that hair had come from! No one around me realized it was an Irish thing, we all just thought my hair was loopy. So I had no pride or understanding of the potential beauty of my hair. :(

Lucky for me my mom finally consented and let me get a perm (a curly perm, not the straightening perm mentioned a lot). Now, I ended up hating that too, but at least all my hair looked the same!

It lasted a year (wow) and then it grew out, and I just dealt with the frizzy mess until mousse was invented and my life got vaguely better.

My mom did not want to let me have that perm in jr. HS. But she relented because she didn't have to look at my hair in the mirror every day. She didn't have to go through the physical and emotional pain of having her hair torn through, or of not looking like she wanted to (she had stick straight hippie hair while in CA). I really respect her as a mom for letting me have that done to my hair, since it meant she realized she wasn't having the same experience as I was, and she could see things from my point of view.

My mom wouldn't let me grow my hair long, even though I wanted it, because she was the one who had to take care of it for years.

So when someone commented on how bad it is for a caregiver to cut someone's hair...well, I can't really related to that. If someone isn't able to care for their own hair, the caregiver/parent has to figure out something, and if that means they restrict the length in some way, well, that's a way of caring for it. Disliking someone's short hair because you want the caregiver to learn to do other things with it is not all that caring IMO.

Anyway. I moved to South Carolina in my 20s, my hair changed, and even though I live in the Pac. NW now it's never gone back. A trip to Ireland helped, too, just after I cut all my own hair off because I couldn't handle it anymore (that's when I got sympathy for my mom). I was bummed that I'd cut it all off just before seeing my "native" hair, but it was a lesson learned.

So. Hubby is half Korean. I don't know about other mixed groups, but half Koreans go wild over meeting other half Koreans. And they seem to have a psychic sense about it; they can nearly sense each other before they see each other.

Race is talked about a lot in our household, because it interests both of us. His sister married a white guy, so in a way we have previews of what our baby might look like though her husband is a bit darker complected than my version of white. :rolleyes: Oddly, they look more Korean than their half Korean mom!

We live in a highly Korean community, and plan to teach the future kiddies Korean (and then Irish and then whatever we feel like teaching them, along with English of course). That will be fun, to watch the reaction at Hyundai Foods. Especially if they take after me more. :)

Robert's other half is Welsh and Portuguese, so he's got curly hair and light eyes in his background...the kids could end up with that one particular Irish look with pale skin, light eyes, and dark curly hair! Now that would be COOL. They'd look like a perfect mix of us, rather than favoring one side.

R and I could talk about this forever; I'm 37+ weeks now and we just can't wait to meet this little person! :D

[tricia80]

:wave


Welcome mollyeilis and Congrats on ur babe :banana:banana

[gethane]

:wave

Hope you don't mind me jumping in to this thread this late. I've been at Mothering.com since December, but read more than posted.. until lately anyway *grin*

I am white, and my exhusband is black. My first three children are tan, but identify themselves as black.

My second husband is white, and we just had a baby boy in November that is blue eyed (we both are) and has red hair! :yikes:

When we all go someplace we get some interesting looks. Especially since we live in Nebraska. My children are often asked if they are adopted.

Anyway, I haven't spent any time in the tribes locale. Been in BF and circ forums mostly. But wanted to say hey! I found my tribe!

Here's my beautiful litter of kidlets :) Black and brown and red all over! (http://home.alltel.net/sm00212/pics/4kids_easter_01.jpg)

[tricia80]

Gethane... welcome to the tribe....

Your children are all georgeous...

[plum]

love the pictures, gethane!

[3_opihi]

Welcome, and what beautiful children!

[PuppyFluffer]

There are tons of posts in this thread and I have not read beyond the first page...but I wanted to say that I think the most beautiful children I have ever seen are multi-racial.

I was in New Mexico a few years back and I was completely starstruck at the beautiful people there. The influence of Spanish and Native American was just striking!

Im white or caucasian or what ever the politically correct term is....so is dh. OUr dd is predictably light skinned and blonde and blue eyed....and the most beautiful baby on the planet simply because she is ours!

I sort of laugh at these people who get on their high horse about being white. I think we are all just a bunch of mutts! America is a melting pot of many peoples. There is so much more to me than my skin color.

It is sad that some people don't see past skin color. I just love the diversity of humans. We're all people. Our cultural differences make us different but I'm the type who is very intrigued by those differences. Especially the food! Yum yum!!

[momtoej]

Hi All. I just had to add my 2cents :innocent I am Black and West Indian.
(from the West Indies - St. Kitts) My husband's mom is half white and half black. Very fair skinned with Green eyes. At my wedding, I quietly asked my DH who were all the white people, and he replied, my family :innocent. Much like his mom, from 1st glance you would ask what is she? My MIL has a twin brother also with Green eyes and very fair skin. Her sister has Grey eyes and too is very fair. My husband is on the light-side also but brown eyes. Our son who just turned 4 is Very Fair like my MIL and also has Green eyes and Reddish hair. When he and I are out and about, Automatically people assume my husband must be white. And when DH is out with our son, people assume I'm white. I agree with an earlier post, why is it that, we all know America is a melting pot, and you don't know what you are going to get till you get it, but people are still surprised when you get what you get :love Insane right!

[Nurturing Mama]

I just found this thread and wanted to introduce myself. My son is Caucasian and Japanese. He looks Caucasian for a few months, and then his face changes and he looks not-so-Caucasian (but not necessarily Japanese, either) for a few months. I always love imagining what biracial babies will look like before they're born. I think the combinations of features of different races is fascinating, and like somebody else said, you never know what you're going to get!

My sil's kids are also Caucasian and Japanese. The older of them looks similar to my ds, with brown hair, brown eyes, brownish skin, and the younger has blonde hair, blue eyes, and more fair skin. When the kids are all together, we joke that her older son and my son look more like brothers, and her younger son looks more like the cousin. They're all beautiful, though!

[Miss Blue]

I just saw this thread and am happy to have found it. My husband is Cambodian and I am Anglo. My oldest daughter is very fair with brown hair and green eyes, and my youngest is olive with dark eyes (too soon to tell). My husband is a very fair-skinned Cambodian and doesn't look very "Asian", so we had no idea how our girls would look. All our Cambodian relatives say the girls look like me and our white friends say that they look like DH. They look quite lovely and exotic IMO!

As far as listing their ethnicity on forms, surveys, etc. I never quite know what to write since they are both Asian and Caucasian. I hate checking "other" because what does that mean? More and more, the world is becoming "other".

Anyway, glad to have found you all.

[eilonwy]

I love checking other. I find it subversive and amusing. :LOL I also like leaving the line next to "other" blank. :LOL

[tricia80]

I like checking the other box and leaving it blank too... i only had to do that when we lived in arizona.. it hasnt come up here yet... and probably wont...

i jus got asked today this on the bus "is she yours?" referring to my dd... ummmm yes she jus called me mommy.... some ppl... altho that lady was kinda elderlish... so she jus assumed i think i was babysitting... and cuz im excited...

DD lost her first tooth last night... whooo hooo :balloons:banana

my baby isnt my baby anymore.. u can check out her new grin at her website... ok im done rambling time to eat dinner and do homework...

[eilonwy]

i jus got asked today this on the bus "is she yours?" referring to my dd... ummmm yes she jus called me mommy.... some ppl... altho that lady was kinda elderlish... so she jus assumed i think i was babysitting... and cuz im excited...

I really wonder about this, especially in cases like yours (your daughter looks just like you, for crying out loud!) I also look a lot like my mother but even more like my maternal great-grandmother who passed away long before I was born; to the point where when my sister found a picture of said great-grandmother, she asked "When did Rynna get her picture taken in that dress?" :LOL

My son looks a lot like me, there's no denying that he's mine even though his eyes are blue and his hair is straight and he has no mongolian spots. Of course, he looks a lot like Daddy, too. :LOL Even so, people are confused when they see us all together. I'm obviously not white, but Eli is just as obviously my son, even though he looks white. I say, let them be confused! :LOL

[Tonali]

Hello. I'm new here...
I'm the proud mother of a boy born in april -03. He's Mexican-Norwegian. Here we don't say "race", it's not politically correct at all (and not scientifically either, strictly speaking). People mostly say "half this and half that".
Anyway, he looks like his dad, kind of tanned, with dark hair and brown eyes. A future latin lover, I fear.

[Rainbow]

Just checking in- I'm NA and white (mixed) and DH is Puerta Rican/Japanese/Hawaiian
Our oldest looks like a lighter female version of him and our youngest is whiter than I am with bright blue eyes. DH especially always gets asked if she is his.
Now off to read all the previous pages... :LOL

[plum]

welcome tonali!

[tricia80]

welcome to the new ppl joining :wave

[martiesmom]

I'm half Chinese and half Caucasion. My husband is from Polish-Russian descent. I think since my father had blonde hair and blue eyes, that's why my little baby takes after her father, but she has the Asian shaped eyes. My mom always says that people are suprised to see pictures of her little blue eyed grandchild. My skin is very fair, and so is DDs.

I never considered myself Chinese or White. I always considered myself a half and half. I don't want to have to define my child's ethnicity. When school forms come up she'll be "other". I do want her to know her Chinese background though. I'd love to hear from others who are like me on how they will raise their children. Our daughter is so diverse. I'm Christian and DH is Jewish. However we are raising her to be Christian because DH is non-practicing.

Sorry to ramble on.

[tea olive]

hey y'all. i may not get to read all the posts but i'm entering the tribe.
here are fotos:
http://community.webshots.com/user/casina102

my parents are both taiwanese who came here for grad school and still live in the states, i was born and raised in the states and my dh is white, some cajun some hatfield and some williams.

[naminel]

Hello All, just had a baby boy on March 20, 2004. He is korean, italian and polish-what a combo, :rotflmao. But he is the most cutest thing. He is such a happy baby. I am 100% Korean and the father is Italian and Polish. Funny thing is when the baby was born he looked like me and now everyone is saying he looks like the father. Well we shall see who he really will look like and see who has the last laugh :bgbounce

[Rainbow]

I'm half Chinese and half Caucasion. My husband is from Polish-Russian descent. I think since my father had blonde hair and blue eyes, that's why my little baby takes after her father, but she has the Asian shaped eyes. My mom always says that people are suprised to see pictures of her little blue eyed grandchild. My skin is very fair, and so is DDs.

I never considered myself Chinese or White. I always considered myself a half and half. I don't want to have to define my child's ethnicity. When school forms come up she'll be "other". I do want her to know her Chinese background though. I'd love to hear from others who are like me on how they will raise their children. Our daughter is so diverse. I'm Christian and DH is Jewish. However we are raising her to be Christian because DH is non-practicing.

Sorry to ramble on.
I don't want to define it either, and truthfully I am unable to in such a small space. They have 4 grandparents each of a different race- and one of them are mixed.
My girls are registered with my mothers tribe- but I don't really connect to being NA because I was raised without my mom and she was my link to that culture. So technically on official papers they are NA- but I don't like them being defined in that alone.
I figure I'll expose them to a lot of their family's culture on both sides and let them feel connected to as much or as little of it as they want.

[eilonwy]

Like I said, I get a kick out of checking other.. there's really nothing else for me to do. :LOL I want to buy this t-shirt (http://blacklava.net/site/02/b/index.html) as soon as I have $20 to spend. :LOL It's so much fun to confuse people! Especially since I really could pass for nearly anything. I got a lot of questions when I was younger... not so much anymore, but still, I think the shirt would be fun and very appropriate. :LOL :thumb :wink

[tea olive]

rynna, i died laughing at the big bad chinese mama site. i didn't know you had some asian blood.

[eilonwy]

I've got a little bit of everything. :shrug Not enough Asian in there for me to feel comfortable calling myself Asian, but it's definately in there. :wink I meant the "Check Other" shirt; I just think it's too cute! :LOL I wish they made it in baby sizes.

[Penguinlady]

hi ladies!

my name is Patty and i am half indian(native) and half spanish. dh is half caucasian(french/english descent) and half chinese. so our little dumplings are quite the mix. my daughter is abo