Need to hear detailed positive stories about adoptive breastfeeding.

[Leatherette]

I am really on the fence about this issue (for my personal situation, not as a philosophy). I already have a toddler (not adopted) whom I nursed for fourteen months (with a lot of pain, frustration and bouts of mastitis). I am glad I nursed him, but as I read about taking hormones (which do not do right by me generally) and trying to use supplemental feeders, I am already getting anxious, especially thinking about trying to do this with a nutty 2 and a half year old in tow.

Also, does anyone know if it is "easier" if you have breastfed before?

Nervously,
L.

[steph]

i'm still doing adoptive bfeeding with my 2 y.o. we started when she was 2 days old... i did absolutely no preperation other than purchase a lact-aid and some organic formula. you do not need to take hormones or domperidon to nurse - or even to make milk... what i did was take fenugreek (an herb) in capsules, sometimes with blessed thistle (but was not regular with it) and drink alot of water. that said, if i had had more than about 13 hrs. notice that we had been chosen (it's not uncommon w/our agency to get 4+ weeks advance notice) i would have started at leaste trying to use a breastpump to speed up the situation. as it was, i started making milk within a few months. how much and how quickly really varies from person to person. the fact that you've already nursed a baby means that you will most likely have no problem making milk. i had barely even been pg before (my 2 pg's lasting 8 weeks or less). i never made enough to not use the lact-aid, but i've read many sucess stories of others, so know that it's very possible. i just can't imagine NOT bfeeding my dd - the bonding was and still is so amazing! i feel a closeness to her that is second to none. the challenge for me was night nursing... keeping the formula cold until it needed to be warmed. i used icepacks to keep it cold and a thermos w/hot water to warm it up - all next to the bed so that i didn't have to climb out. really, bottle feeding is the same hassel, except you dh or whoever can do it instead of you. but there's nothing like being all snug in bed nursing. it took awhile for my nipples to not hurt, but then again, i went from nothing to full time nursing - having never nursed before. i think you've got a great advantage having previous experience - even if not all of it was positive. i worked with the LLL pretty closely the first month or two to help me over my hurdles and questions. dd and i have nip'd plenty - and if someone catches sight of that little tube and my lact-aid pouch and asks questions, i've always gotten positive responses (with the exception of an adoptive mom i know, who is so non-ap it's sad!)... i say go for it! if you don't like it you can always stop, but it's worth it in my opinion! i recommend getting more than a couple of lact-aid's... i at one point had 10, because i hated having to clean them more than once a day, and dd was a little nursing monkey!:D now i'm down to 3, and i've learned how to keep them in the fridge before i clean them, so it's easier and a few other tricks... i would recommend though at leaste 6 if you've got a newborn - you'll have your hands full enough with a toddler on top of it. ok, i think i'm rambling now, so if you want more details or have questions, let me know! best wishes!!!

[TiffanyK]

Here is my story about adoptive nursing. I do think we succeeded although i had to redefine that for myself. I have 3 bio dc that all nursed over 2 years. My youngest is adopted from Guatemala and was 5 months old when we came home. I took the domperidone for about 6 months before she came home and also pumped about 2-3 times per day. I was getting approx. 5-7oz of milk per day and literally had a freezer full! I was able to give her one whole month of breastmilk. We did try to nurse with the lact-aid but she was very resistant. It would be much easier with a smaller baby, I think, although many have made it work with older babies. We never could get the nursing down. We dealt with flu, ear infections and tummy bugs shortly after arriving home so that didn't help. I'm soooo glad we tried though and I do consider it to be a success for us. Just not exactly what i was hoping for.

Good luck with your adoption. Deciding to adoptive nurse is a personal decision and like I said each mother needs to define her own success.

[steph]

Leatherette, i'm also assuming that you've checked out the adoptive breastfeeding website/discussion board at www.fourfriends.com if you haven't, it's a good place to go for info... there are lots of gals there with experience and i learned sooooo much from that site (though i liked their old boards better than the one they have now)... basically, i hung out there for a few months before we got the call w/dd... it was there i learned everything i needed to get started...

[Laurel]

Can a story filled with challenges be a positive story? I consider my experience both positive and successful, though I was only able to continue for about six months. I just think it's wise to go into it with your eyes wide open, because I don't think adoptive nursing is for the faint of heart.

We had 4 weeks notice that we were getting ds. I did not want to take any medications, so I simply pumped every three hours for 20 minutes w/ a hospital grade double pump. I am one whose body did not respond well to inducing lactation, but I have never been pg so maybe that had something to do with it. I did not see a single drop of milk until ds was 4 weeks old (he was placed at 2 days). I don't think I ever made more than about 1 oz a day. I did take fenugreek at different intervals, but it has the side effect of lowering blood sugar, which it did in me, and I could not continue it. I also took blessed thistle and marshmallow root.

I nursed using the lact-aid supplementer. It's a hassle at first, but you get used to it, and it really becomes second nature for most babies. Ds took to nursing like a champ. I was hardly sore at all, which at the time I thought was great, but now I think that he had a weak suck.

I think if ds hadn't had problems including colic, and extreme distractibility/activity, we would be nursing to this day. From about six weeks on, we dealt with back-arching, popping on and off the breast, and a general inability on his part to relax and nurse. I think in a normal nursing situation, these problems could have been overcome. We did many things to try and overcome them, including a visit to a naturopath for therapeutic massage. But when you combine problems that would be severe for a bio mom nursing with the inconveniences of inducing lactation (using supplementers, not making any milk at all), it seems almost insurmountable. Not being able to stay on the breast is challenging enough as it is, but when you have to reposition the lact-aid tube every time this happens, it's definitely an added stress.

Anyway, I don't want to go too much into all the problems, but when he was four months I finally knew that it would never get better, and that for his sake we needed to go to a bottle. But I continued to comfort nurse him with the lact-aid for another 6 weeks, until he stopped nursing on his own accord. I don't know if it was a nursing strike or truly weaning, but since he would stay at the breast for 1-2 minutes anyway I decided it was weaning.

I consider our story successful because I did the best I possibly could. I know that. I would nurse another adopted baby in a second, even with a toddler running around. I think you need to have lots of support, though. I think you need to have realistic expectations and to be aware of potential challenges. It does take a lot of stamina. There is a balance between keeping the focus on the bf'ing relationship and not expecting to make too much milk, and yet IMO you have to focus some on milk production because your chances of having a successful experience are so much greater when there is more milk. That's just me. I feel strongly that if I could have made even 5-6 oz a day instead of only one, that we'd still be nursing today.

Nursing was an experience I'll always treasure. I get misty-eyed when I think about it, and I still have poignant moments when I wish I could put my little boy to the breast. For me, it really helped me feel like a mother to this little baby who was basically a stranger. I didn't fall in love at first sight when we met him, and I also was in for a shock when he turned out to be a boy instead of a girl. I was a little disappointed about that, and I really feel that it was nursing that bridged the gap between those disappointing feelings and the great bond that we have today. He is VERY attached, and it just thrills me to death to think that he actually likes me that much!

[OnTheFence]

Well here is my story.
I breastfed my birth daughter a little over 20 months, less than two years later we adopted. I did not take the hormones or pump before we adopted. After we took placement of our son, I began nursing him at 3 days old, after relinquishment papers were signed. He had no trouble latching on but he did not like the lactaid. I would breastfeed him first and bottle feed him after. He often fell asleep on the breast when he was just a few weeks old. I had milk and was supplying about 1-2oz a feeding by the end of the first week I tried supplemnting with some tiny tubing and a syringe when he was around 3 weeks old because I wanted to exclusively breastfeed. We adopted a baby who was alcohol exposed and had some real issues with skin to skin contact and eye to eye contact, this really started to affect the nursing relationship around the 4-5 week mark. Breastfeeding for the next 3-4 weeks felt like a lot of work and I felt like I was hurting him more than I was helping and I was really frustrated with the whole thing so I decided to Quit. I was producing milk, he did have a good latch, but the nursing, skin to skin contact, was not going well. Dylan also did not like cosleeping. And I tried multiple times. He preferred laying in his crib with a certain blanket and it being pitch dark with his head in a certain direction.
Here are my feelings, if you are already stressing about breastfeeding an adoptive child and have anxiety based on your past experience, than skip it. Just enjoy being with your baby, holding him or her, cuddling, and bottle feed. Breastfeeding is not as important as the relationship and bonding you want to do with this new little person. Take it from "Been There & Done That".

And congrats and goodluck with the adoption process, its an amazing journey!

Kim

[HotMama]

Dd just fell asleep nursing at the keyboard (NAK)...I wouldn't give up our nursing relationship for anything! She's exclusively breastfed, using a Lact-Aid system with our homemade goat's milk formula. She had mostly breastmilk, from friends and a bit of mine, until three months, then just my milk and our formula. She got colostrum from her birthmom, at her breast and mine. We were at her birth and the hospital was very supportive of me breastfeeding. I took Dom. through the winter to up my milk as much as possible (we don't vax and I wanted her to have as much of my immunities as possible), and fenugreek. The fen. gave me gas! I've only heard of birth control pills to simulate pregnancy and boost your chances of making more milk once you have the stimulation, be it pump or baby. Is that the hormones your talking about?

I'll try to focus...I pumped and ate fenugreek for three weeks before dd was born. I nursed her from the start, and her birthmom nursed and pumped in the hospital so she'd get colostrum. We usually have 6 Lact-Aid set-ups and also have a few SNS I recently started using sometimes. I nurse everywhere and always get positive feedback when folks ask about the bag...older women tell me they wish there'd been something like it for them, way back when. Fast forward...dd still loves nursing. Two weeks ago I realized she now needs food. Food's not just for fun anymore, she needs to nurse and she needs lots of snacks. We're starting to think about adopting again and I will definitely nurse again.

[ramblinrose]

I am breastfeeding my seven month old that came home from Guatemala at 5 1/2 months. I am using a lact-aid and domperidone. Hard to say how much breastmilk she is getting, but I know she is getting it, she takes from 12-16 oz. of formula. I did pump for 6 weeks before she came home and it was a bit tricky to teach a 5 1/2 month old. Good support at yahoo adoptive breastfeeding group and at fourfriend site someone cited above. Good luck!!

P.S. we love it!!

[Leatherette]

I have been reading and thinking. Thank you for all of your responses. Honest and helpful!

L.

[Leatherette]

I went to a lactation consultant today and got an electric pump and a supplemental feeder. I have a couple of months to get this working. We'll see. Thanks for your encouragement.

L.

[steph]

Good luck leatherette! be sure and take herbs - fenugreek, blessed thistle are important.... borage, hops and alfalfa help too. some people drink beer to get the hops :D ... anyway - best wishes!