Calling all Feb. Homebirthers

[Jlcampbellkidz]

Anyone planning a homebirth or repeat homebirth?

Planning our 2nd home water birth. Can't imagine ever going back after that last glorious experience. It was amazing. My DH and I caught and brought the baby up out of the water. My best friend took an amazing picture of the whole thing. Which totally off the sub. Anyone in the North Tx area should check her out. She is an amazing, reasonably priced Birth and NB photographer. Check out her site, www.flickr.com/photos/theoneandonlylynsey/
check out page 6 under the caption The home waterbirth of Krisalyn Elise Rose

Just trying to find a new midwife. I've contacted a few. my new insurance isn't so great with HB coverage but I refuse to go to the Hospital. I'll work out the cost later. It's so worth it.

[noordinaryspider]

I'm planning my fourth homebirth and my first UC. I can't even imagine having a hospital birth.

I'm a bit nervous about the logistics of the UC because I'm a single mama but I do have an adult daughter so I'm sure we'll figure something out. She was at her brother's birth when she was 2 years and 9 months old and she was wonderful then.

[flapjack]

Yep. There is little short of blood or prematurity that would get me to birth in a hospital. All of mine (including my 24-week stillbirth) were born at home. I'm now living on the other side of the country and they aren't so hot on homebirths, so I may be having a deliberate "whoops, that was fast." I have great hopes for my new midwife though- haven't met her yet, but we spoke on the phone after I lost the twins and she sounded more gutted that I was :) I get the impression that she really likes doing homebirths.
I'm going to the doctors today to get the ball rolling on antenatal care, so we'll see how that goes.

[Jlcampbellkidz]

I will be praying for you flapjack. All of my losses have been really early, and were very hard emotionaly. I can't imagine getting to 12 weeks, having heard or seen the heartbeat and then have such a devastating blow.

Lots of Sticky vibes for you!

[bloominmamas]

I fully plan on having a homebirth after having 2 hospital births. Weirdly the first one had the most interventions and was the most empowering while the second had less and I was most traumatized. But the staff the second time were a bit brutal with me....Anyway...I just found out that I qualify for state assistance healthcare that would pay for a homebirth, whereas my supposed great insurance from my dh's work won't. So I am actually going to be able to afford it, yay!

[loraxc]

Maybe. I need to do some thinking on it.

[flapjack]

Laurie, we don't normally do first trimester scans over here- just one at 12 weeks and one at 20. The first I knew of the twins was when I started labouring again 24 hours after Brighid was born...
The good news is that I have a referral to a community midwife, my blood pressure is down on my last pregnancy, and as long as I'm still pregnant in two weeks time, my GP will refer me to the Early Pregnancy Unit for a scan. The bad news is that I forgot to lie about my dates, gave her my actual LMP (the NHS doesn't believe in newfangled ideas like fertility awareness) and so I now have a January due date :( Let's hope that the sonographer manages to be inaccurate in the right direction. Right now I feel very nurtured though.
Oh, and all of this is covered by the NHS, btw. We don't get nice details like beta tests and scans at every appointment, but my midwives have always been fantastic and the support post-birth is pretty great as well.

[sarahn4639]

I am so excited to be having this baby at home. Our first was a hospital birth. It was supposed to be with a MW but I was booted at 35 weeks so it was her back up OB. We were there a total of 1'15" before the birth, no interventions at all other than the monitoring, but it just wasn't what I want for myself. I'm a doula and have only attended hospital births, each one gets harder and harder to watch, I just want to scream "Give her her baby!" and "She said stop!" and "Be patient!" So we are having a HB so I don't have to worry about screaming all those things at my own birth. I meet our MW in a week. There is one here that takes insurance as an in network provider. The others are out of network. We just don't have the money for that right now so I really hope I like this one!

[loraxc]

Hey, so talk me into it, y'all! :)

This kid will definitely be a midwife-attended birth, but I haven't decided on birth center, homebirth, or even possible hospital midwife birth.

[flapjack]

What talking do you want? Do you want to be painted a rosy picture of that first night tucked up in bed just you, dh, blah and bean? Skye's story (http://www.homebirth.org.uk/helenskye.htm)- aka how NOT to do a homebirth :lol

[suzywan]

This sweetpea is my first and I plan on homebirthing him or her. Just praying that there's not a blizzard. Talking to my midwife next Friday, hopefully we can work out a game plan, so I can stop fretting about it :o

[StrawberryFields]

We are having another homebirth! Ds was attempted but we transported to the hospital. I am thrilled with the chance to do it again and actually make it this time. I am looking for a new midwife right now, just have to get my interview questions in order.

It is SO nice to be able to putter around your own home in labor. Suddenly need a drink of the grape-cherry juice you bought last week? It's in the fridge! Need to change into that soft T-shirt you love? It's in the drawer! T-shirt pissing you off and you want to switch to a sports bra? Your in luck, it's in your dresser. Tired of the bed and want to try leaning on the couch or laying on the floor or sitting on the stairs--everything you need is right there and you can do whatever you want.

I spent a lot of time kneeling on the floor with my head on the couch and some time laying on the kitchen floor as well. Not sure how the nurses would have felt about that action had I been in the hospital. I couldn't imagine staying in a bed during labor, I don't think I could have made it. Even walking the hospital halls trailing an IV seems too constricting.

[HoneyTree]

I'm considering another attempt at a homebirth. My first was pretty scary--the baby was descending crooked, and so wasn't putting pressure on all of my cervix, so one side didn't efface entirely and I was stuck at (I think) 7 cm, then my water broke and it was heavy meconium show, and I had my mom and sisters there, who, for all their splendid points just were not the bravest faces in such trying circumstances--so I ended up a hospital transfer.

I'm taking my time making the decision, making sure that I can learn how to prevent some of the things that didn't go as smoothly as I'd have liked, recognizing the role my own fear and stress level may have played in the outcome, all the while trying not to be hard on myself and to stay open to what the universe has in store.

But the idea of birthing my baby in my own sacred space, holding him or her close right away, showering in my own hot shower, snuggling in my own warm blanket, hearing the dogs snore at my feet, the whole family being able to fall asleep in bed together that night, ... that is a beautiful and compelling thought!

[DDNemo]

JUST found out I'm pregnant with my fist TODAY! But I have been planning on having a homebirth for the last year before even TTC.

Now that I have a positive test result, my mother, step mother, and friend are all trying to tell me how dangerous it is to have a baby at home. They are sooo worried about that small chance that something may go wrong that the MW can't handle, which might be avoided if you were in the hospital....

My friend dates a gyno, and he says ladies get transfered to hospital all the time for the pain and thinking that they are dying...

I'm a little scared about the intensity of the pain... I read the stories where ladies say they were not ready for that kind of pain... but they did get through it. I like the stories where woman feel relief from pushing, and kind of like the "ring of fire" in a weird sort of "i'm making progress" kind of way.
I REALLY don't want a hospital transfer due to pain.

I'm trying to stay postive and not let the doubt creep in. I KNOW things can go wrong at home... but that doesn't make the hospital safe.

[DDNemo]

Ok, so my first post was full of doubt and fear.

I know that I can do this. Women have been giving birth since the begining of time. I will trust my body and my MW. I will ask my family and friends to keep their doubt to themselves.

I will have my baby at home with my husband, all nice and cozy and right where we should be.

[noordinaryspider]

Diana, I'm not fooling myself into thinking I remember the pain, because we don't; nature makes it that way on purpose; I remember little dribs and drabs of it, like being in labour with ds and realizing that I had forgotten what the pain was like with my dds even though the births weren't that far apart.

Buit I do remember that with my first birth, there was no way I was going to transfer because it was easier to deal with the pain of birthing than it would have been to deal with the pain of getting into a car and bump-bump-bumping down the road to a hospital.

I also remember that at some point during my second labor I realized that dealing with the pain of labor and birth was a necessary part of becoming a mother and would prepare me for other challenges further down the road. The phrase "If you could just buy them at the K-mart..." went through my mind and I embraced the pain as a good thing.

I've had to go hungry for dd and give up a lot of things that I loved and be stronger for her than I ever thought was possible, and I think there would have been less joy and more resentment if I had been going through those challenges with an adoptee or a C section baby or a medicated birth.

Are you familiar with Ina May Gaskin? She completely reframes the whole paradigm by refering to contractions as "rushes" instead of "pains". It may be a bit "hippy-dippy" for your tastes to compare birth with orgasm or LSD, but I can definitely see the parallels.

Do you have other experiences in your life with "good" pain, such as riding a bicycle in a marathon, working out hard at the gym and feeling it the next day, climbing a mountain, finally getting a chance to go horseback riding and knowing you're going to be sore in the morning but also knowing that it's worth it? If so, that's what the pain of birth is like.

Both my mother (an early pioneer of natural childbirth, although she did birth in hospitals) and myself wanted to do it again after our most recent births.

I never expected ds to be my last, but I do expect that little dd will be, so hopefully I can enjoy every step of this experience.

[Kimmiepie]

I don't know if I'm pregnant yet, but I'm pretty sure! I can't help but jump in. :shy

I am planning (if I am pg) to have my first homebirth. My other 3 were hospital born. My insurance does not cover midwives so we are going to have to figure that out, but I'm really excited about the prospect of a homebirth. We shall see!!

[loraxc]

My hesitations about homebirth:

1) Afraid I'll need to transfer and be attended by some OB I don't know (I transferred from a birth center with DD, but my MW delivered)

2) Afraid of paying twice because of a transfer (also happened with DD)

3) Afraid of the teeny-tiny risks (this is the least of my worries, actually)

4) Afraid of other people hassling me

I just noticed how pain isn't on the list! Hey! And I had a horrendously painful back labor. Actually, although I did end up with an epi, that was only because the midwife talked me into it (in retrospect, I think she was worried about my exhaustion +posterior babe = the hospital demanding a section)

So, NOW talk me into it. :)

[azyre]

Definetely planning a homebirth :) I had a crappy hospital birth experience first time around and am choosing a care provider I mesh better with this time :) Just want a nice low key drama free relationship with a midwife so I can concentrate on my real job at hand! :)

[flapjack]

Diana, the most common reason for first-time homebirthing mums over here to transfer to hospital is because of the pain: 60%, in fact. Now what this actually tells you is that only 40% need to go because of a potential red flag about baby's health, like Theresa and Amanda's little boys (or mothers health.) Pain is such a subjective thing- your body will produce the endorphins to help you through this.
Besides, there's two kinds of pain: there is "my muscles are working harder than they've ever done before" pain, which will get the baby out. Then, there's "AAAOOOOOOOWWWWW" pain, like a total placental abruption in labour which, with total seriousness, feels like a limb in your stomach has just been amputated. (I'm good friends with someone who had a partial abruption.) That kind of pain will save your life, by making sure you know you need help now.

[JJJJBlue3333]

We'll be having our 2nd homebirth with the same midwife who helped with ds2. I can't wait!

[Jlcampbellkidz]

Laurie, we don't normally do first trimester scans over here- just one at 12 weeks and one at 20. The first I knew of the twins was when I started labouring again 24 hours after Brighid was born...
The good news is that I have a referral to a community midwife, my blood pressure is down on my last pregnancy, and as long as I'm still pregnant in two weeks time, my GP will refer me to the Early Pregnancy Unit for a scan. The bad news is that I forgot to lie about my dates, gave her my actual LMP (the NHS doesn't believe in newfangled ideas like fertility awareness) and so I now have a January due date :( Let's hope that the sonographer manages to be inaccurate in the right direction. Right now I feel very nurtured though.
Oh, and all of this is covered by the NHS, btw. We don't get nice details like beta tests and scans at every appointment, but my midwives have always been fantastic and the support post-birth is pretty great as well.

My midwives wont be doing the scans or betas either. I am in the care of a doctor at a fertility clinic that i was referred to by my midwife after 3 consecutive early miscarriages in the last year. She knew i needed some answers and that she didn't have the resources to give me any answers. DH and I have no problems concieving on our own, it's just keeping the baby. I am a pretty hands off, low to no medical person. So this has been a trip for me. But so glad i did it. Cause now i know it was just my body not producing enough progesterone. I will be on the supplement until 9 or 12 weeks. After that, I will transfer my care to my midwives. The sono at 6 weeks is standard at the fert. office.

As far as homebirth for this one, it's a hands down easy choice. DH was not so supportive the first two pregnancies but I just prayed hard and God revealed his will to my hubby. So #3 was an amazing birth with only 4 short hours of labour. Dh and I both caught the baby. Even more amazing to him. He is so excited about having #4 at home. He just can't see going back to the hospital ever again. I am so relieved.

[DDNemo]

Hi noordinaryspider!

Thank you for your post. I'm hoping that "going to the hospital" does not even enter my mind as an option; and like you that I'd rather just get through it, than get in the car and go for a ride to see some dr. I don't know, and do the same thing I would have done at home anyhow...

Even though I have not experienced it, I think I know what you mean about the "if you could just buy them at the store" comment. This morning my husband was saying that he wishes that I did not have to feel the pain... And the Idea of a totally pain-free birth seemed so weird, and not as ful-filling... and I told him if that's what I wanted, I could just get the epi. And I explained to him how empowering birth can be for so many woman.

I have two experiences in life to sort of compare it to... One was hiking on the AT going up a mountian, I felt like I would be walking up a steep hill in the cold and rain for ever... We still had such a long way to go and I started crying, but I kept going and I did reach our goal, and I felt good, but also sad that I had not totally believed in myself that I could make it.

The other experience was getting a tattoo... lame, I know. But you get that rush of endorphins and you're in pain, but I like the "Be HERE, NOW" kind of feeling it brings on, that I have heard people talking about having during labor. That with the pain, you are living totally in the present.

Loraxc: I'm also worried about people hasseling me! I'm going to have to tell them all to keep it to themselves.

Flapjack: 60% hospital transfers due to pain is not very inspiring. I hope I can avoid a transfer due to pain. And thanks for the reminder that there is the pain of giving birth, and then theres the "you need help now" kind of pain, where you know something is wrong. I think women get scared and think thats the kind of pain they are feeling - and maybe thats why they asked to get a transfer. I have been reading so much to combat any fear and doubt.

Well, Sorry for the long post!

[flapjack]

No- of the first-time mums who choose to transfer (and bearing in mind the fact that in the UK, we have a higher transfer rate than you do) 60% of those people chose to do so because they wanted access to more pain relief than they could have at home. That's including things like prolonged labour and back labour and awkward foetal positioning where no other indicator has presented yet. (UK midwives rarely use the "failure to progress" tag, though doctors sometimes do.)
It's not an inspiring statistic, but fear of pain is something you can prepare for and deal with. You can practice relaxation breathing, explore hypnotherapy (why has nobody talked about hypnobabies yet?) and use sheer bloodymindedness- it really IS like your analogy of climbing the mountain. Like mountainclimbing, it's one step, one contraction at a time. The view from the top is absolutely overwhelming- and yes, there's the option of taking the cablecar (epidural) But you don't have to if you don't want to.

[LaurenB]

I really want to have my baby at home. I think it would be wonderful! My DH is against it because he's so scared something will go wrong. I have awhile to work on him though. I'm not giving up on it yet!!

[jaxinsmom]

And I had a horrendously painful back labor. Actually, although I did end up with an epi, that was only because the midwife talked me into it (in retrospect, I think she was worried about my exhaustion +posterior babe = the hospital demanding a section)

So, NOW talk me into it. :)

Um ~ I had the same situation! I was at the hospital, in labour and he was posterior and I had intense back labour/pain and my midwife suggested an epi ~ I didn't have it b/c I dialated before the doctor could get to the hospital to give it to me, and I can tell you that although it was the worst pain I'd ever experienced, the second I pulled ds onto my chest I bawled, looked at dp and said "I wanna do it all again". Pure Bliss

I'm not a religious person, but the 'mantra' I repeated to myself during the labour was that God wouldn't give me more pain than I could handle. Simply wouldn't happen.

The other midwife who was attending the birth told Kay (our MW) that she didn't think the baby would be born vaginally (I found this out the next week).

He ended up comming out with his fist balled up and placed on his cheek. I tore ....ahem, *both ways* :o

I figure, if I can handle that kind of pain and come out if it glowing, I can do it all again in the comfort of my own home.

~ side note, but when I got the the hospital we arrived before our MW and the nurse 'checked me' and I swear she thought I was a cow. It was aweful. violating. The main reason I'm not going back to the hospital.

Also, you might want to look into hypnobirthing, great way to focus during labour.

[mom3b1?]

It'll have to be a pretty catastrophic situation to get me into a hospital again for a birth. My first two boys were born in hospital, and I can tell stories that will make your hair curl. In both cases I was forced into unwanted and unnecessary procedures, and ended up with c/s.

My third was born UC in my bathtub. It was an unusually long and difficult birth, but compared to the hospital births it was pure heaven. The recovery was amazing, so much easier. I was able to focus on my children right away.

This time I think I'll hire a MW if I can get one who will let me stay pregnant as long as necessary, and let me birth alone if I need too. I think I have one who will work this way. The UC was great, but this time we are military, and he's going to be in Iraq. Something tells me I'm going to want someone around, if she's hands off enough.

Kiley

[mom3b1?]

Sheer bloodymindedness worked for me. My home labor was very long, 36 intense hours, all backlabor, first vag birth after two c/s, just hard all around. I kept telling myself that women all over the world have been doing this without c/s for millenia, and if they can do it so can I. I didn't want to be shown up, I think. It worked. He came out!

Kiley

[mama_nym]

I'll definitely be having a homebirth - possibly a UC, depending on how I feel at the time. For prenatal care I will be under the care of wonderful midwives and actually can't wait for my first appointment "outing" - they're about an hour away, and just about 5 minutes from the beach, so I usually make a day of it!

I've had a horrible, medicated hospital birth; a wonderful natural hospital birth; and amazing midwife-attended birth center waterbirth and the most natural, normal, pain-free, estatic, serene homebirth ...of my biggest babe at 10 lbs 14oz. Now I can't imagine birthing anywhere other than in the comfort of my own home!

[mom3b1?]

I've had a horrible, medicated hospital birth; a wonderful natural hospital birth; and amazing midwife-attended birth center waterbirth and the most natural, normal, pain-free, estatic, serene homebirth ...of my biggest babe at 10 lbs 14oz. Now I can't imagine birthing anywhere other than in the comfort of my own home!

That's like a sampler platter of birth!

Grin,

Kiley

[mama_nym]

:lol Yeah...it's definitely been a journey! I was ready for a homebirth after my first hospital birth but it took dh a while to come around to realizing how safe homebirth is and that all the horribleness we had with our oldest's birth was BECAUSE I was in a hospital!

My dh and my mom were with me at all the births - and by far they think homebirth was the best. The only birth my Dad has seen besides mine and my sisters' hospital births was my youngest's homebirth, and he tells EVERYONE about his daughter's beautiful homebirth of the amazingly large baby! :lol

[Greeneyes0506]

I want to have a home birth but DH isn't on board at all.

[flapjack]

That's OK if he's the one having the baby ;) If not, he has some serious reading to do...

[Greeneyes0506]

That's OK if he's the one having the baby ;) If not, he has some serious reading to do...

:lol He usually comes around after I make him read. I think for him he doesn't see why I would want to change it. I've had good hospital birthing experiences and since he works where I deliver I get special treatment. I think if our insurance covers home birth he'll go for it, if not I'll make him!

[loraxc]

I have an appointment to interview a practice of HB midwives next week. :)

[mom3b1?]

My three boys father, my ex husband, was very anti homebirth. I figured I'd have a natural birth in the hospital. He'd see that it can be done without drugs and stuff then he'd be OK birthing at home. Insurance only covered hospital birth for us at the time, so I didn't fight as hard as I might have.

We ended up with a lot of unnecessary stuff and a c/s. To be fair there were some legitimate complications, but they could have been treated in a better way, and if the correct treatment had gone well I probably could have had a normal home birth or at least an unmedicated hospital birth. Baby number two, there were no real complications, just those caused by the drugs and proceedures of the hospital. Baby three was UC. I put my foot down. No circ, no hospital, no drugs. He hated it, and we fought hard about it, but I won in the end. In the end I told him if he wanted to have the babies penis cut, he was going to have to go with him and hold him through the proceedure. He never said another word about it.

I told this one right from the start that if we were to ever have a baby it'd be born at home, not circ'd, breastfed no bottles (cup of bm in a pinch), no disposable diapers and either ec'd or cloth diapered if I couldn't sort out the ecing very well. I think he was saying to himself "I haven't even tried to get you to sleep with me yet!" I think he'll take to wearing the baby very well. He loves children, and is really sweet with babies.

If he gets cold feet about this birth, he's out of luck. He's going to be in Iraq.

Kiley

[aslmere]

That's OK if he's the one having the baby ;) If not, he has some serious reading to do...

I wish that were true.. but when your husband or partner is so frightened of birth then it could potentially be very damaging for your relationship to keep on insisting on a homebirth.
I would LOVE a homebirth and although dh think in theory they are great.. he believes that I am too high risk to try it.

I KNOW I could do it... but he is so scared of birth that for me to push it would tear us apart.
And THAT is something that I am unwilling to do.

[LoveChild421]

Another repeat homebirther here! :D Just found out today I'm pregnant and although it is a BIG surprise and it's going to be a big expense for us its worth it.

[azyre]

I meeting a midwife today and another on Tuesday :)

I hadn't discussed HB with my partner - getting him to ttc was my main focus, no reason to set yourself up additional obstacles :) He knew my intentions tho, he isn't stupid.

Last night I told him I'd set up some meetings, and we got to talk about it and it's sorted now. He already knows why the medical model is troubled and that they are more rigid for vbac again, I allayed his concerns regarding mess, and where the money will come from.

I think we'll both be a lot happier with a hb, he didn't like what went down at the hospital and his role will be much more flexible at home. He isn't too comfortable with the reality of birth, and I am spoilt for choice with hands on support so we'll have a lot more freedom about how things pan out with us at home. He can care for our DD, run the house, or directly support me. Play some WoW, you know LOL

It's really key to me that he enjoy this experience as well, since I didn't realise until recently how he still carried the first birth experience, it was part of what was holding him back from another. Now I don't necessarily want a third child, but if we can cross birth and post partum off the list of reasons not to, it won't hurt LOL

So it's important to me that I find care providers that aren't rigid about the partner's role, I don't want him disrespected or them feeling sorry for me because we are happy like we are. We have a high degree of autonomy in our relationship and sometimes that is misunderstood as disconnection. He doesn't have to be "into" it and researched and believe the same things I do, he just needs to comfortable enough to facilitate what I want and support us. He's pretty easy going, just if others are expecting enthusiasm, they will be disappointed :)

Anyway, I think it is going to be GREAT for our family to do it this way :) All of us will get more of what we need.

[Miss Blue]

I am considering HB for baby #3. I had 2 birth center births and, while I love the birth center, it was such a pain (literally) to get in the car in the throes of labor to drive to the birth center. Soon after the girls were born I was ready to go home anyway. I have had quick labors (6 hrs and under 3 hours) and barely even made it in the door of the birth center with my 2nd baby. I still need to find a midwife, and we are moving between now and the birth, plus preparing to homeschool, plus selling the house, so I am going to be a busy mamma.

[mtnsunshinemama]

Just got a BFP this morning ! It was a faint line but I DEFINITELY FEEL PREGNANT! And now I'm trying to think of creative ways to tell my DH when he gets home!! Ant ideas?
Right now I think I'll have DS show his daddy the preg test and tell him "mama baby in tummy", we practiced a bit before his nap and I think he can pull it off!
We had an amazing homebirth with our son (some photos here - http://www.soulshinefamily.smugmug.com/gallery/805260) and wouldn't do it any other way ! Unless there were complications of course!
Sooo excited, we'll use the same midwife, who is our dear friend and the woman who performed our wedding ceremony so it a very special connection.

I guess I better finish writing up DS-August's birth story before #2 comes. When I do, I'll be sure to post it here to inspire those on the fence!:D

[mom3b1?]

Congratulations! How lovely to have such a wonderful relationship with your MW, though really she is more than that too you. How utterly perfect!

Your way of telling is much nicer than what I did. He remarked to me, that shouldn't my period have started, and I thought he was right, it should have. I miss periods a lot for other reasons, and I'm 43, so they could stop for menopausal reasons. I didn't really think much of it. I had an old test around so I took it.

He knew it was positive when he heard me cussing in the bathroom. I'm not normally much of a cusser, and I really do love babies, but the timing is really awful, and my initial reaction was shock.

Kiley

[frontierpsych]

I'm planning a homebirth. Last birth was a UC, planned water birth, but I couldn't stand to stay in one place during labour. I still want to at least spend some of labour in the water though, I credit my not tearing (10lb baby) to labouring in water.

[mama2molly]

This is our second baby, and we're planning our first home birth. My daughter was born in a hospital, and I will NEVER do it again, unless it's life or death. Just an all-around terrible experience.

We're definitely still in the very first stages of planning, finding midwives to interview and starting on some reading. :)

BTW, GORGEOUS photo of the waterbirth, OP! WOW.

[mamajessica]

We are planning a home birth for this babe. Moon was an unplanned hospital birth, imperfect in many ways, but still very "real". I thought I would love the water while laboring, but only did for a short while. Se we will see with this one!
:wave Tracy, Oregon mama's unite!

[naturallia]

I plan on an homebirth. I'm still unsure if it'll be midwife attended or UC.

[noordinaryspider]

I had the best talk with big dd yesterday about expectations, plans, and fears. I told her that even though I have never had a water birth and always wanted one, I was beginning to think that the logistics of inflating, filling, emptying, and cleaning the fishy pool might be asking too much of her and that I was surprisingly not upset by it.

If you'd ever seen big dd's pigstye of a room, you'd understand what I mean. :lol if I wind up with a serious tear and big dd just left the fishy pool to sit and "ripen" for several days and then CPS or a UC-unfriendly humanoid like ds happened to show up, things could get really ugly really fast.

dd said she wanted to do the fishy pool because she was actually worried about how she was going to clean up the mess on a bed if I wound up birthing on it again the way I did with all three of my other liveborn children. I started to tell her how little mess there actually was and how we put the shower curtain under the sheet and used lots of chux and....

....I stopped myself because I really do want the water birth and complaining about the alternative option is kind of dd's modus operandi. She wouldn't want me to figure out how much she really loves me or they might not let her be eighteen any more.

:lol

We talked some more about birth in general and UC in particular (she already knew exactly what the fishy pool is) and how important it is that I can trust her. I thanked her again and let her know that without her support, I might be tempted to cave and go into debt to pay for a midwife (and I don't live in the same place I did when the big kids were born, so i don't even KNOW any good lay midwives here) and she laughed and said I could always give her the money and I said I fully intended to, but in the form of colleg tuition and bail-outs when she did the kind of stupid things all 20-somethings do periodically.

dd is not the domestic type at all, but she is SO into UC and avoiding any sort of intervention. We had fun learning to chart together (her to avoid, me to conceive) and this birth just seems like a natural progression to me now instead of dumping way too much responsibility on such a young woman.

I positively adore my ginormous age spacing! Big dd reminds me of what little dd will become and why it is worth it and that I CAN do this and I AM a good parent and little dd reminds me of what a long history big dd and I have and how precious and young and full of promise she really still is.

This will be the third birth big dd witnesses. She hasn't said a single critical thing to me, but I can tell that she's been doing her research about pregnancy nutrition because she keeps making me all these high protein goodies and she usually likes to limit my protein intake to protect my kidneys and so that I have enough appetite for fresh, raw produce.

[gingerbane]

I really, really want to have a homebirth. My husband and I are living in China at the moment and will still be here when baby is born. Before I got pregnant I became very interested in midwifery and actually had planned on becoming a midwife. I've been researching as much about midwifery in China as I can. The education of midwives in China was discontinued in 1993 in order to promote hospital confinement births. Since then the cs rate for births in China has risen to between 60-70 percent. So, they're not too big on midwives or homebirths here plus I have the language barrier to deal with. But, I'm really hoping I'll be able to find a midwife and have a home birth. If not, I don't know what I'm going to do. This is my first pregnancy and I'm not nervous but I don't want to be in a hospital.

[noordinaryspider]

Gingerbane, feel free to have a look-see around here:

Unassisted Childbirth Boards (http://www.mothering.com/discussions/forumdisplay.php?f=306)

which should ease your mind a bit while you look for a midwife. I know that's not what you want and I'm not trying to convince you to "join my clique", just to let you know that there ARE options and that you can relax a bit if it takes some time to find your midwife.

[Greeneyes0506]

I'm calling around today so I can interview a midwife. DH is thinking about it so I might be a homebirther this time!

[mom3b1?]

I really, really want to have a homebirth. My husband and I are living in China at the moment and will still be here when baby is born. Before I got pregnant I became very interested in midwifery and actually had planned on becoming a midwife. I've been researching as much about midwifery in China as I can. The education of midwives in China was discontinued in 1993 in order to promote hospital confinement births. Since then the cs rate for births in China has risen to between 60-70 percent. So, they're not too big on midwives or homebirths here plus I have the language barrier to deal with. But, I'm really hoping I'll be able to find a midwife and have a home birth. If not, I don't know what I'm going to do. This is my first pregnancy and I'm not nervous but I don't want to be in a hospital.

I know American's who homebirthed in a small rural town in China. It worked out great for them. You could also go to Hong Kong and rent a place for a month or two and do it there. Singapore could work too. I lived in Gui-Zhou and taught English there for a while myself. That's where I met the couple that homebirthed.

Kiley

[glowfaeriejosie]

well, looks like i'm joining the ranks. i got a bfp on the 1st. this will be my second homebirth. this time my mom is not invited though.. unfortunately she just stressed everybody out. hopefully this one will be much shorter than the last (60 some hours, mostly UC)

[bloominmamas]

I know I started a thread about this already but I just had my first visit with my midwife and I feel more confident than ever that I will have the homebirth that I and my baby need/want. I am so excited!!:bouncy

[newcastlemama]

Planing a 2nd home waterbrith here! I am hoping it will be snowing and I cn be near the woodstove!

Jen

[noordinaryspider]

That sounds delightful!v I was planning on oputting the fishy pool in the kitchen, just because it won't fit in the bathroom and the kitchen seemed like a logical place, but I don't think I'd really started to think through the fact that it will be FEBRUARY.

It doesn't snow here, but it does rain a lot and get quite cold. I don't normally keep the house very warm, and because of the way it's laid out, it would be very hard to heat just a bedroom. The living room/open kitchen area is delightful when you want to invite a whole bunch of people over at the same time, but it's miserable when it comes to heating bills and when someone has to sleep on the couch and have it double as a bedroom.

I've never had a waterbirth before. I've always wanted one, but I get to be a worrywart about the details. The thought of that much water accidentally spilling and flooding a rented house or apartment IS rather intimidating.

:o

[mommycakes]

This is my second pregnancy and I'm considering a homebirth, though I'm really not sure yet. I think I may feel more comfortable at the local birthing center. My dd was born in a hospital birthing center and midwife attended (unmedicated as well). I know I'm going natural again and that the birth will be midwife attended, I just need to check out the free-standing birthing center to see what I think.

[firecat]

hey everyone,
So...I definitely want a homebirth. Dh knows this, I've talked about it everytime anyone mentions a birth, and how I hate hospitals, how much they suck, how great being at home would be, etc. I'm also planning a UC but since the first thing out of his mouth about the birth was "I know you want to do it at home but I want you to go to the hospital" i haven't, um, mentioned that yet. :shy
I have a lot more work to do than I thought.... All I said in reply was that we have a long time to think about it. Now I'm collecting my thoughts on what to say to convince him going to a hospital or even a birth center would be a bad idea.
I am really on the fence on who to hire for prenatal care though. I don't want ultrasounds, lots of testing or vaginal exams, I need to know I will be allowed to go "overdue" (whatever that means). I need to start calling around, seeing if someone will fit and then if my insurance will pay (another big hurdle for dh).
I think I just need to start dropping info, like what I did with organics and health food; he laughed at me at first but now he quotes me! He is worried about safety...for me I believe in my body and baby, we are made to do this. Somehow I need to show him that.
Good thread, I needed to get that out. Thanks for listening. I am so excited there are so many of us planning homebirths!

[naturallia]

Cheryl, my DH is the same way. I really hope he doesn't stand in the way of my UC but I don't want to cause a rift in our relationship because of my stubbornness in wanting one. I am deaf and he is worried that it will give the government a reason to look hard at us as targets.

[NamastePlatypus]

We had an AMAZING BC experince in Germany with e and will NOT be able to come even close to that here so we are going to HB and enjoy it how we are meant to. If anyone knows about Tricare you will know I have a long road to haul ahead but it is so worth it to me!

[firecat]

naturalia, I am so there with you. I am not willing to give up my homebirth plans and still hoping for a uc, but at the same time, I want dh to be on board. I don't want to lose what I think is right because he won't even try to see it my way. It doesn't help that everyone around here is all about the hospital w/ midwife because they are "so great" and there is a "wing dedicated to holistic healing and natural birthing" so I should just check it out a be happy with it. I DON'T want to leave my house while I'm in pain and feeling vulnerable not matter how great everyone else thinks it might be.

How does being deaf make it hard for you to uc? Is he deaf to? Do you get gov't assistance or something? Not trying to be insensitive, just curious!

[flapjack]

NamastePlatypus, that (the German BC) is good to know. My best friend is over in Germany at the moment and is expecting her first- she's currently making the decision between hb and a birthing centre.

[NamastePlatypus]

NamastePlatypus, that (the German BC) is good to know. My best friend is over in Germany at the moment and is expecting her first- she's currently making the decision between hb and a birthing centre.

I had him at St Johanis which is a hosp but LD is a birth center place and if anything BAD happens right though the double doors is surgery so it is amazing!!!!! I wish I could fly back! I got to stay for 5 days in a private romm and it was wonderful!! It all depends on where SHE is the most comfortable! Here I will have a HB if I was there I would PROBABLY go back to the BC but I am not sure since that is not a option now:lol

[naturallia]

Deaf should have nothing to do with it. (My DH is hearing, I'm the only deaf person in my family)

If, God forbid, something goes wrong, we are concerned that the state would look hard at the "dumb deaf weird girl" who only buys organic, wants to homeschool, refuses to vax, etc etc that thought she could go it alone at home and what else would she do to put her children at risk for what she thinks is right? That's probably how they would see it. So we're worried they will end up taking our children away.

I lost my older son (He's going on 8 now) because I am deaf- and all of the sterotypes that the government type people had with deaf-dumb people suddenly applied to me during the custody battle. :(

[mom3b1?]

Deaf should have nothing to do with it. (My DH is hearing, I'm the only deaf person in my family)

If, God forbid, something goes wrong, we are concerned that the state would look hard at the "dumb deaf weird girl" who only buys organic, wants to homeschool, refuses to vax, etc etc that thought she could go it alone at home and what else would she do to put her children at risk for what she thinks is right? That's probably how they would see it. So we're worried they will end up taking our children away.

I lost my older son (He's going on 8 now) because I am deaf- and all of the sterotypes that the government type people had with deaf-dumb people suddenly applied to me during the custody battle. :(

Tishia,

I'm very sorry to hear that, and hope you can find a way to protect your family and live the lifestyle you want. My ex-husband tried to use the birth of our third child to take the children from me during a custody battle. In the end he'd insisted on the birth we chose, but in court he told a different story. He got temporary custody for a while, but in the end they came home permanently. I do understand your thinking and the need for it. Things aren't always the way they should be.

Hugs,

Kiley

[Brigianna]

I'm hoping for another home birth, but for a variety of reasons beyond my control, I may have to compromise on a birth center birth this time. I still want a homebirth, though!

[azyre]

How's everyone's search for care providors going? I've met 2, meeting another Tuesday, and am yet to hear back from 4 and 5 about an appointment with the two of them (tho I did accidentally leave my answering machine off).

I hope no. 3, 4 or 5 is the right one for me!!

[flapjack]

Well, I don't have a huge amount of choice: I have an appointment with my NHS midwife on the 11th July, which is great- and I know a lot of people who think she's fantastic. She sounds lovely on the phone and excited about doing a homebirth, which is good. If the NHS girls don't work out for me or if this turns out to be something eccentric like twins or a baby who's breech at term, there's a couple of independent midwives near me.

[bloominmamas]

How's everyone's search for care providors going? I've met 2, meeting another Tuesday, and am yet to hear back from 4 and 5 about an appointment with the two of them (tho I did accidentally leave my answering machine off).

I hope no. 3, 4 or 5 is the right one for me!!

I just met my midwife this past tuesday, she's great! She was at a good friends birth a few years ago, and the friend totally loved her.

[noordinaryspider]

I'm still planning a UC, not that I don't get cold feet sometimes.

For the reasons Tishia mentioned, only substitute "old", "single", and "low-income" for "deaf" and "mute".

I've tracked down a postpartum doula in my town, but I'm still kind of feeling her out to see how UC-friendly she is. I know dd doesn't think we need her, but it might be nice to have her on call "just in case".

[APMomOfKimmyN-Maya]

I'm planning a freebirth/UC.

[Steady101]

I am considering a home water birth. I am a little scared of it, but I know I just can't do the traditional birth in a hospital. My first child was born in the UK, med free, with a midwife who pretty much left us alone.

[Greeneyes0506]

[QUOTE=azyre;8404481]How's everyone's search for care providors going? QUOTE]

I'm meeting with one on Friday. I hope it works out because there's only 2 homebirth midwives in my area.

[mom3b1?]

How's everyone's search for care providors going?
I hope no. 3, 4 or 5 is the right one for me!!

I've not really made any progress. I've got a lot of stuff that isn't birth related going on. I'm planning on interviewing someone early in July. Last time I UC'd and really liked that, but this time my husband will be in Iraq, and I do want another adult around because my births are so long and so intense. I don't need someone to monitor me or tell me what to do, but to comfort me if I get confused. Last time I got confused when my water broke. I'd been in labor a long time and was deep in la-la land.

My best bet for having an adult who won't freak about me birthing my own way may be to hire someone. I'll have to find someone who won't rush the pregnancy or feel a need to fiddle around with me, or want me to do a lot of tests and things. I'm not sure what I'll end up doing.

Kiley

[NamastePlatypus]

Dh is still ify about it but at least he sees how bad our hosp situation is here, it is grim:irked: I wish I could UC but dh would NEVER go for it:(

[jljeppson]

Working on 5th homebirth after 1 hospital birth. 2 have been water births and I'm hoping this one will be as well (both of my WB were pain free. Not feeling free, contractions were just strong not painful and didn't need all the attention that the other ones did). Last baby, so hopefully things will be quiet and calm. Not one of those times you want to go out with a bang!

[mom3b1?]

Not one of those times you want to go out with a bang!

I'm with you on that! I'd have loved more kids, but the way it's worked out I've got three boys, and this will be our last. I'll be 44 at the birth. I definitely want to go out quietly, with the most peaceful birth yet! My third was born in water too and though it wasn't pain free it was much less painful for me that being in the hospital with an epidural (blek).

Kiley

[noordinaryspider]

Probably my last too, and I seem to be reminded of that constantly during the past few days. My other births weren't bad, by any means, but I don't particularly care for having a lot of people around when I'm birthing and I don't see how even the world's most perfect midwife is going to be able to avoid having me see her as an "authority figure" and either obey or, more likely, rebel.

As far as a magnum opus, I can't think of a more spectacular way to hang up the ol' uterus than to birth attended only by my own adult child.

dd is really good at this, too. Her personality hasn't changed significantly since the last time she was at one of my births fifteen years ago and she was the most incredible little toddler who was never in the way and not scared of anything that was going on.

[Brigianna]

Deaf should have nothing to do with it. (My DH is hearing, I'm the only deaf person in my family)

If, God forbid, something goes wrong, we are concerned that the state would look hard at the "dumb deaf weird girl" who only buys organic, wants to homeschool, refuses to vax, etc etc that thought she could go it alone at home and what else would she do to put her children at risk for what she thinks is right? That's probably how they would see it. So we're worried they will end up taking our children away.

I lost my older son (He's going on 8 now) because I am deaf- and all of the sterotypes that the government type people had with deaf-dumb people suddenly applied to me during the custody battle. :(

I'm so sorry this happened to you! This is one of my nightmare scenarios. :gloomy:

[naturallia]

I have only 4 midwives to pick from. We're interviewing them this week, the first one today. I hope one of them is the perfect match for me.

[jljeppson]

I WISH I "only" had 4 midwives to pick from. There was only one that provided care to my area when I had my first HB, though fortunately I loved her. I spent my first 1-2 yrs apprenticing with her as well. That wasn't the case with the woman who has bought out her practice. Very nice and capable, but I haven't clicked with her. I'm hoping that after I assist at a few of her births that I'll be happier with her but overall it looks like I will be having my sister (graduating from nursing school soon) attend along with the woman who assisted my 1st midwife at my 2 water births. There are 2 other midwives a few hrs away that are willing to come to this area but one has almost no training and the other wasn't reliable the one time she was supposed to provide backup at a birth I was assisting at. Plus it's a several hr drive for both and I might not make that.

[mama_nym]

I have my first midwife appointment a week from today! I'll be seeing one of the midwives who attended C's birth (V). The next appointment I make will be with one of the two new midwives in the practice, although I'm hoping to meet them on Sunday at a party for the opening of their new office/ farewell party for the other midwife that attended C's birth, Saras, who is moving north to take up her new role as Director of the Midwifery Program at the University of British Colombia.

Waterbirth/pain ... I had a mostly-pain free waterbirth with H - the only pain was when she failed to completely turn (she was along my side when I was in labor) and I was having a little difficulty getting her past my pubic bone. C's home waterbirth was completely pain free (just lots of pressure!).

[miss_honeyb]

Well, I'm really hoping for my first homebirth. DH is kind of on the fence because of losing ds#1 shortly after birth, due to complicatins during delivery. I was just reading over all the doctor notes on his birth, and the more I think about it, the more I think it may not have happened if I had been at home...

But we were at a hospital, and they couldn't save him, so doesn't that mean we should give homebirth a shot? I mean, we already know being at a hospital doesn't mean your baby will live...

I'm trying to convince DH that being at a hospital isn't necessarily safer than at home, and he seems open to the idea. But he'd have to be really convinced in order to go ahead with a homebirth. I mean REALLY convinced. And I'm not sure how to do that!

Also, for those of you who have done this before, how do I go about finding a MW? I already have a list of mw who do homebirths in MN, so do I just call them and talk on the phone? Do they usually schedule a consultation appointment? And what are some of the things I should ask them? I'm so ignorant about this! I just know I want to birth at home!

[azyre]

Melissa, I hope your conversations with your DH go well :) We had nothing so traumatic to process but it has been good for us to have even the briefest chats that we have about the past and what we are choosing for the future. Glad to hear he is open to it, hope you both come to a decision you are excited about :)

What I did to look for a midwife was write about what I wanted, and from that create a list of questions I needed to ask. I had a friend help me word them in an open and non-leading way, as well as how to communicate some of my personal "stuff" that might be pertinent to my relationship with them - like how I see my SO's role and beliefs about vaccines for example.

Then I made appointments, I made 2 to start with, then another 2 when the first didn't work out. The first two I left feeling like I would be unable to trust anyone to be my care provider, when they were like 80% fits, still saying things that didn't sit right with me. I met the third one and we have clicked and I feel very excited about employing her to be my midwife :) Gonna cancel the 4th appt where I was meeting 2 midwives - was unimpressed by the one I spoke to on the phone, and she has already said something dodgy about my "options" including hospital and that's not the type of commitment I'm looking for when I am interviewing a midwife to plan a HB with!!

So anyway, I have a midwife now :)

[purplepaisleymama]

hello, I am not sure if I am in DC, as I am not exactly sure of my dates, but I am homebirthing and will have a UC.... I am meeting the only MW I can find in the area who will be supportive of a UC. I have had 3 different MWs throughout my pregnancies and all are not appropriate for what will work for us now. I just called the prospective midwife last week and introduced myself. She asked me a few questions about how many previous births I had and what I was looking for and made an appointment for this Friday.
I think that we will get along very well, we both homeschool and we agree on everything birth wise so far.
I wish you luck in your finding a perfect fit for your Midwife....
laura

[jljeppson]

All midwives I know of do a free first consultation meeting. Just give them a call and they will be happy to set up a meeting with you (they usually want to meet DH at that 1st as well). There's a thread on here somewhere that has the same subject and lists all the same questions I would have suggested. If you can find it, it would probably be a big help.

[mom3b1?]

I wish you luck in your finding a perfect fit for your Midwife....
laura

Laura,

I'm glad you found the right MW. I'm looking for one like that. I UC'd last time and it was perfect. However, now I've got some other concerns so I'm looking for a MW who will basically support me UCing, though I won't think of it as an UC because she'll be involved. I want her there at the birth, and to help out if anything comes up during the pregnancy, but that's it.

Kiley

[jljeppson]

I've only done 1 solo birth and that's the role I played. Mom had a doula, dad didn't do much labor support but was perfect for the delivery and he caught. I was just there to take heart tones/blood pressure, etc and a check IF she wanted one (last baby didn't dilate and she has strong pushing urges so she wanted to make sure she wasn't going to tear by pushing too soon) and just watch for troubles. I did clean up, newborn check, etc but overall mom and dad were in charge and they were very happy with it. Only down side was heavy mec with the cause possibly being the placenta pulling away early and I asked them to go in to get checked by their DR. Don't think they were happy with that and wish I hadn't had to, but had to make sure baby didn't aspirate mec (had mec when I suctioned her and trouble breathing) and I can't do at home care for that if she had. Mom wanted to do a UC but dad wasn't comfortable, so hopefully it was a happy medium.

[Wabi Sabi]

My 2.5 yo ds was a home waterbirth and I can't imagine doing it any differently this time around. I had a great birth experience and am actually looking forward to doing it again.

Here's his birth story with photos:

http://www.mothering.com/discussions/showthread.php?t=578398

So far I haven't been able to get ahold of my midwife- I've left her a couple of messages but haven't heard back from her yet, which is making me a bit nervous. I'm sure she's just really busy, but some weird little insecure part of me is thinking, "Oh no...what if she doesn't want to work with us again? Maybe she didn't like us..." Silly, I know. I'm sure I'll hear from her soon.

[mom3b1?]

I've only done 1 solo birth and that's the role I played. Mom had a doula, dad didn't do much labor support but was perfect for the delivery and he caught. I was just there to take heart tones/blood pressure, etc and a check IF she wanted one (last baby didn't dilate and she has strong pushing urges so she wanted to make sure she wasn't going to tear by pushing too soon) and just watch for troubles. I did clean up, newborn check, etc but overall mom and dad were in charge and they were very happy with it. ... so hopefully it was a happy medium.

Sounds good to me, though I won't do doppler, and probably not BP (as long as it stays good before the birth). The less touching the better. Last time I might have wanted a dilation check toward the end, because I'd had trouble dilating before, but it worked out great without one, once I figured out that hairy hard thing was the babies head (talk about being in la la land!). Now I feel I'm OK with that, OK with waters breaking (scared me last time, it was explosive! la la la) but no doubt this little one will have a surprise or two up her sleeve for mommy. Oh, I also want someone who will help me stand up if I need to change positions. Last time I just HAD to stand at the last minute, and couldn't have without someone pulling me up. My births are so long and intense that I kind of like having someone who can glance over and tell me everything is normal if I need it...but it really messes me up if I get touched and handled.

Fun for the poor MW who takes me on, LOL. Hopefully she'll love to knit.

You don't attend births in Middle GA, do you? Grin

Kiley

[mom3b1?]

My hesitations about homebirth:

1) Afraid I'll need to transfer and be attended by some OB I don't know (I transferred from a birth center with DD, but my MW delivered)

2) Afraid of paying twice because of a transfer (also happened with DD)

3) Afraid of the teeny-tiny risks (this is the least of my worries, actually)

4) Afraid of other people hassling me

I just noticed how pain isn't on the list! Hey! And I had a horrendously painful back labor. Actually, although I did end up with an epi, that was only because the midwife talked me into it (in retrospect, I think she was worried about my exhaustion +posterior babe = the hospital demanding a section)

So, NOW talk me into it. :)

For me the extra costs of having had my babies in the hospital far outweigh the costs of homebirth. The fact that my bladder control will never be the same. They sew your uterus to your bladder after a c/s. My babies were given formula in the hospital against my wishes. The risk of infection alone in the hospital is scary enough to choose a homebirth without all the rest. The #1 cause of death in hospital isn't some horrible disease, it's medical mitake. The #3 cause of death in the US, in any setting, is medical mistake. Yeah, I want to avoid unnecessary medical proceedures for my baby and myself.

What you do is up to you. It's a lot easier to prepare and plan for a homebirth then change to a hospital birth if you run into complications, than go the other way.

Kiley

[bloominmamas]

I just got the pregnancy confirmation that I needed from my primary care-giver. Yay a positive, yeah I know a bit silly with me at 7 weeks but I was still weirdly nervous:o Anyway, it just reminded me why I really don't want to have a hospital birth. When the nurse finally called me back with the results (and I want to stress here that she was really nice, but she also sounded like she was reading a script) she went on and on about everything I shouldn't be doing, whether I was going to keep the baby, I needed to sign up for a meeting with their OB person to talk about pregnancy and to choose my OB. It was just so impersonal and medical, and she just assumed that I would do an ultrasound to figure out the due date (she stressed that I would need one because I was having 26 day cycles and they would want to figure out the due date). It just really stressed to me how much I don't want to go that route again. She also expressed concern that I was taking OTC prenatals and that they wanted consistency and that they would prescribe me some, which I won't be picking up. It was just affirmation that it wasn't right for me.

[jljeppson]

My grandmother had two "table top babies" (that's the way poor farming families did it back then. HB with the family women the only ones present and possibly a midwife if there was a baby catcher in the area). When she was pregnant with her 3rd there was a hospital in a neighboring town, so they decided to try this new fangled idea of going to the hopital. Suffice it to say, my aunt didn't survive and it definitely influenced my decision to HB. It was a girl, after 2 larger boys, and they told my grandmother that her head was crushed due to CPD. Pretty much impossible. We know the dr didn't make it on time and from what I've been able to piece together the nurses held the head in (used to be common practice, know people that will hold the womens legs together until the doc gets there) in hopes of keeping her from delivering without him and they crushed her head. As I said, it definitely was something I thought about when I was deciding on HB's.

[mommy2abigail]

Count me in! With dd, we were planning a natural birth at a birth center. Well, she got 'stuck' (posterior) and would. not. come. out. 14 hours after my water broke, it was policy to transfer. Well at the hospital, everything went to h*ll. She was born, taken from us, and ended up having to stay for 5 days under a billi bed. She was pricked every 3 hours. I had severe ppd and ppp for years (still have ppd a little, though it's under control) nursing got off on a horrible note. I didn't sleep for the first 5 days. At all. I sat in the rocking chair in the nursery 24 hours a day, minus the 15 minutes at 7 and 7 for nurse changes. After the first 3 days, they discharged me, and I refused to go home. I told my dh to take the seats out of the van, I could sleep in there in the parking garage. Luckily one of the great nurses offered us an empty room to sleep in the first night, and hooked us up at the Ronald McDonald house for the other two nights. When dd finally did get to come home, it was with a billi bed for 3 more days. So even in my own home, I couldn't hold and sleep with her. It was terrible. So now with this pregnancy, not only do I have fears and hesitations, everyone thinks I am crazy for not wanting to go to a hospital straight away. "What if something happens like with Abby?" It really stinks not having anyone IRL have faith in me, and believe in me. And it really stinks that they dont see that last time, the HOSPITAL was where all the problems started! Anyway, sorry for my rambling.....it feels better to get it all out. I still have so many regrets from dd's birth and her infancy. I was so unsure of everything, and listened to everyone else but her. I was swayed by all those who said she'd never sleep if we didn't CIO, that by wearing her she was becoming too dependant, ect. :(

[firecat]

Naturalia,
sorry to hear about your son. I am thinking about you and hope you will get the birth you want.

Not really any progress here. I am procrastinating. I'm not really excited about the process of trying to find a midwife, so I am putting it off. I still have some time yet don't I? :bag:

I have been doing alot of thinking about the birth and what I want and where it might happen so that is good.

[bloominmamas]

Naturalia,
sorry to hear about your son. I am thinking about you and hope you will get the birth you want.

Not really any progress here. I am procrastinating. I'm not really excited about the process of trying to find a midwife, so I am putting it off. I still have some time yet don't I? :bag:

I have been doing alot of thinking about the birth and what I want and where it might happen so that is good.

The only thing I have heard is that some midwives months fill up pretty quick. I know my midwife will only take on 4 mamas a month, so I made sure to touch base with her quickly. But I would imagine it would depend on how many are in your area.:wink

[miss_honeyb]

So now with this pregnancy, not only do I have fears and hesitations, everyone thinks I am crazy for not wanting to go to a hospital straight away. "What if something happens like with Abby?" It really stinks not having anyone IRL have faith in me, and believe in me. And it really stinks that they dont see that last time, the HOSPITAL was where all the problems started!

I've gotten that kind of response, too, and I feel the same way! Everyone assumes that we should be in the hospital because of our history, but that's exactly why I DON'T want to be at the hospital!

I also have fears and hesitations about this pregnancy, but I finally feel like I really know what I want and what I don't want, and that I'm ready to just do it, despite what everyone else says!

[smokeylo]

ME!! :wave

I just found out I'm pregnant last week and was out of town. I'm a doula and part of a midwifery advocacy group, so I know most of the local midwives but haven't yet met with any or interviewed any. I do plan on a homebirth, probably a waterbirth, with a DEM, and a doula in attendance.

[Greeneyes0506]

Ladies, how much are you going to pay your midwife? Mine accepts our insurance but other Moms that have used her paid between 600-750 in extra fees. My DH will never go for that

[smokeylo]

Ladies, how much are you going to pay your midwife? Mine accepts our insurance but other Moms that have used her paid between 600-750 in extra fees. My DH will never go for that

I don't think I will have any insurance coverage for my homebirth, and will probably pay between 1000 and 1500 out of pocket for my birth. It's an investment - in my health, in my baby's health, in my family. We're in grad school and by no means rich, but I'm not letting my insurance company dictate my health care choices when it comes to something as important as my birth.

If you want to save some money, you could do some of your prenatal care with a covered care provider and switch to the MW later. Like, see an OB or CNM at a hospital until 20 weeks or so when the awful tests begin, and then switch care to a HB MW.

[jljeppson]

The midwife around here (both the new one and old before she retired) run $3000. I didn't have to pay that much with my 1st with her (the old one) but I did with my 2nd with her. Depending on your insurance, they will pay all but deductible, or nothing at all. No matter what you prepay and get a check back for whatever your insurance company paid.

[mtnsunshinemama]

T No matter what you prepay and get a check back for whatever your insurance company paid.

Not always true. We only paid our midwife for the 30% that our insurance didn't cover. Around $750. Actually, We were able to barter a good portion of that with our midwife.

I would imagine you'd end up paying that amount of your hospital pill anyway. You should see what your insurance covers so you can make the case with your hubby.

[jljeppson]

Sorry, I meant that prepaying was the practice in this area. Though I do agree that most midwives are willing to barter, or if you have to pay out of pocket they are willing to stretch out the payments (to a point) to accomodate your income. Also depends on if the midwife does this as her primary income or just for love of HB. Midwife by midwife I guess.

[Greeneyes0506]

Not always true. We only paid our midwife for the 30% that our insurance didn't cover. Around $750. Actually, We were able to barter a good portion of that with our midwife.

I would imagine you'd end up paying that amount of your hospital pill anyway. You should see what your insurance covers so you can make the case with your hubby.

For us the only thing we'd have to pay is the co-pay for the hospital, which is $75. DH said he's willing to pay up to $250 but anything above that he said no.

I feel torn because I want a homebirth but witch how much it costs thats 2 car payments!

[smokeylo]

For us the only thing we'd have to pay is the co-pay for the hospital, which is $75. DH said he's willing to pay up to $250 but anything above that he said no.

I feel torn because I want a homebirth but witch how much it costs thats 2 car payments!

Well, hospital births aren't entirely free, first of all, and second of all, the physical and emotional benefits of out-of-hospital birth make it an investment in your health and that of your kids. For example, if you have a birth that is highly interventive (even if you don't intend to!) or the hospital does not respect your wishes not to bottle feed your baby, breastfeeding might be compromised and thus cost you thousands in formula. It's a high initial investment, but longterm it will pay off. Or you might end up w/ ppd and need counseling or something else that will cost as much as a homebirth. I'm just trying to balance out your DH's reasoning here: it's not money being thrown away, it's being spent wisely as an investment to prevent further expenses down the road. I sympathize with you on the money thing, it's really a shame that insurance doesn't cover homebirth better.

Most midwives will negotiate a fee or permit you to pay it off in low payments over a longer period of time. No midwife in my area would turn a family down because they couldn't afford it! Do everything you can to make it work if it's what will be best for your family.

[jljeppson]

Kiley, didn't notice your comment before about practicing in GA. I'm from GA! Have to tell you, I hate the midwifery scene there. I moved back to Ga (Albany) a few yrs ago and stayed about 18 mths. (Family stuff) Couldn't find a midwife, except one in Fl that was willing to come but would leave me high and dry if a Fl mom went into labor. If I wasn't pushing, she wasn't staying. I was homeschooling at the time and ended up asking 3 women I knew to assist (HB, homeschool people in the area assisted at each others births because there was no midwife). 1 would definitely be there, the other 2 it would be whichever was in town. Turns out the other 2 were both out of town and the 1 brought another HB/homeschool mom that I hadn't met yet that was a retired L&D nurse. Not that it mattered, my kiddo kicked into overdrive right after I called everyone and told them it was time to come. No one, including my sisters and brother that were supposed to be there, made it in time. All the equipment was mine anyway, so it didn't matter much and everyone got there in time to clean up, which was nice. I think if I was back in GA I would end up practicing out of default!

[ScarletBegonias]

Hello Ladies and Mamas!

I'm joining the ranks. We had a MW assisted HB with DD. We are planning on an UP/UC for this babe! I feel completely in sync with my body and this baby. I felt the same with DD, but for two reasons we opted for a MW.

I would only go to the hospital if it was life threatening. There is no need to possibly subject ourselves to the whims and procedures of the medical system.

That said, I am so excited for everyone! Congratulations and sticky baby vibes to all!

Peace!

[mamabutterfly]

Hi everyone!
Just chiming in to say I"m 5 weeks with my second, and have been intending to have a home birth if we ever had another. Dd was born at a nearby birth center, and since then I've been to many hospital, birth center, and homebirths as a doula. From all that I feel pretty strongly in favor of home birth, but I would also still consider going to our birth center again.

I have no insurance, but could apply for Medicaid just for the pregnancy and the birth center accepts it as full payments. I'd have to start talking to midwife friends about what costs would look like to HB.
One big reason for me would be to have the option of birthing in the tub - not an option at the birth center, and something i would *LOVE* to do if it feels right at the time.

Congrats to everyone!

mb

[jljeppson]

Ok, finally told DH I was pregnant last night. He didn't believe me! We were joking around some, so I can understand a little bit but it took quite awhile to convince him. Might end up not being the best timing for us, but I won't know for awhile. This is when we were supposed to be pregnant, so I'm sure everything will go the way it's meant to.

[mom3b1?]

Kiley, didn't notice your comment before about practicing in GA. I'm from GA! Have to tell you, I hate the midwifery scene there. I moved back to Ga (Albany) a few yrs ago and stayed about 18 mths. ( I think if I was back in GA I would end up practicing out of default!

It's not as bad as Michigan, IMO. It was easier to find a MW, but everyone I spoke to had to have a long lists of tests, or they would fire the patient, they wouldn't handle VBAC, breech, over dates (some even past 41 weeks!). There's a MW in Macon who seems good, and she's got back up from Atl if something special comes up.

I'll know more in a few weeks afer I've met her.

I UC'd my last one, and wouldn't mind doing that again, but would like someone around to help.

Kiley

[jljeppson]

N Ga isn't that bad at all, but where I grew up is the armpit of the South. You get the worst of all human traits, stereotypes, you name it. Unless you're a member of a HS group that supports each other at their HB, there is NO ONE available to attend your birth. It's UC whether you like it or not. I only knew of one person that lived in the area that had a home birth and he was a chiro and his wife and he caught all their kids. Everyone else that I knew that had a HB were people that moved in and usually hated it and didn't stay long.

[True Blue]

I'm so excited, so far I have interviews set up with 3 different midwives!!! I've never had so many choices before, it's amazing. And there is still at least 1 more I'd like to meet with. I really never thought that, even given the population, I'd have so many midwife choices in NYC. The hospitals are horrid and you couldn't pay me to have a baby in there. DD was waterborn at home into Daddy's hands, and I can't wait to do it again.

[mama_nym]

True Blue ... how exciting!!! It's always great to have options and to find somebody you really click with!

I'm eagerly awaiting my first appointment (July 9 - postponed from yesterday) - my mom and friend Rachel are going with me. Rachel is a 19 year old college film student and has decided to make a documentary of my pregnancy/birth for fun - so it should be fun, although I'm a little unsure about being the subject of a documentary - :lol I did speak with one of my midwives and can call her anytime if I have any questions, concerns or just want to chat. When we were talking on the phone we were laughing about how this is my fifth child and there's not much (if anything!) we need to go over at prenatal appoinments and that I'll be spending more time on the road than in the office (their office is an hour and 15 minutes ONE WAY!). We'll probably do what we ended up doing last time and just chatting about life in general after my exam. :p

[flapjack]

mama-nym, we were going to be part of Homebirth diaries with Skye, but when we found out she was breech we decided that we needed to pull out- at that point we had to make the decision of hiring an independent midwife and birthing at home, going with the hospital option (c-section) or going to hospital and fighting for a vaginal breech birth (or UC, of course.) If we'd gambled on a HB and the gamble hadn't paid off, we didn't want the pressure of the nation watching us on TV. I do regret losing my nerve, though, and I keep thinking about contacting Berni about her new programmes.

[StrawberryFields]

Ladies, how much are you going to pay your midwife? Mine accepts our insurance but other Moms that have used her paid between 600-750 in extra fees. My DH will never go for that

Last time my midwife was $1000 (aaaand then we transferred to the hospital at the tune of like $3000+, I lost track!!)

This time I selected a different midwife (still nervous about the awkwardness of that when my previous midwife finds out I'm expecting again and using someone else!) and her charge is much higher. The cost will be about $1300 plus $35 per prenatal.

I feel bad because I planned on paying higher than the lowest rung of the sliding scale this time but because her fees are higher than my last one I don't think I will be able to.

[mom3b1?]

N Ga isn't that bad at all, but where I grew up is the armpit of the South. You get the worst of all human traits, stereotypes, you name it. Unless you're a member of a HS group that supports each other at their HB, there is NO ONE available to attend your birth. It's UC whether you like it or not. I only knew of one person that lived in the area that had a home birth and he was a chiro and his wife and he caught all their kids. Everyone else that I knew that had a HB were people that moved in and usually hated it and didn't stay long.

I do know what you are talking about! I spent several months when I first moved to GA down in that area, about an hour west of Tifton, out in the middle of no-where. There were some nice people, but I saw some scary stuff. I can tell you stories that would curl your hair. I'm loving Warner Robins. My children nearly ended up stuck down there due to, well due to some really evil stuff. We can swap horror stories via PM if you want.

Kiley

[jljeppson]

Warner Robins is so much nicer an area than where I grew up. Definitely PM me; my DH was a cop so I could probably match you story for story.

[firecat]

Well, I went online today to check on care providers covered by my ins. Good news is, there are some midwives in town that are covered.
Bad news is, they are the ones that do in hospital births. Now granted, everyone tells me the facilities are nice - they have birthing tubs, stools, bars, all things to encourage natural birth and I know several ladies who have had natural births there. But to me, it's still the hospital.

And like I said before I AM planning a uc, regardless. It's just the prenatal care I am worried about and if there is a problem during the birth that I have someone to turn to. I can't see paying out of pocket for someone "just in case" especially if I can't really afford it and what if I do, for some god forsaken reason, end up in the hospital, and end up paying for that anyway, on top of the midwife? So the hospital midwives may end up working out in the end for what I need them to do. Hopefully I will still get my homebirth no problems.
It is all still so up in the air though.

[mama_nym]

Cheryl - it sounds like having hospital midwives would work out for your purposes - you'd get prenatal care covered by insurance and, in the rare case you need to transfer to a hospital, you'd be cared for by midiwives you're familiar with.

I'm happy that my homebirth midwives (CNMs) take insurance. They also do hospital births, so bill the insurance company accordingly. The only thing we have to pay for is whatever isn't covered without a "facility code" - like the private nurse that comes after the birth to help out and the disposable supplies that the midwives bring to the birth. Last time it was around $565, which in CT isn't a bad out of pocket expense for a homebirth!!! My midwives may not make it in time for the birth this time - the one who used to live 30 minutes away now lives an hour and 15 minutes away, as do the other two! So, if I were to have a UC, I wouldn't be disappointed at all, and my midwives are half expecting it depending on how quickly my labor goes! :lol

[TrishWSU]

I thought I had replied to this a while ago, but I guess not...

We are planning a UC, UP as much as possible. My first dd was a mwhb and I just can't imagine having my baby anywhere else. Since her birth I have been pulled to UC and I know it's right for me. My mw was wonderful and very hands off, but I don't feel the need to have someone else there "just because."

I am a surrogate so it will be my boyfriend and my IPs (intended parents) present for the birth. When I first started looking into surrogacy I decided that I would be ok with a mwhb or bc birth since I know UC is kind of out there, but I just can't do a hospital birth. My IM was so excited when we first met that I wanted a homebirth because that's what she would do if she was giving birth. After months and months of talking she asked if I had heard of UC and how I felt about it. So needless to say we are very excitedly looking forward to our upcoming UC!! I can't wait to give birth, lol!

[bloominmamas]

Just a quick update on my app for Medicaid, I didn't think we would be able to get it but we did.:D Just for me but hey it means we only need to pay the MW $700 vs 2500. I was really giddy finding out about it, it also means that we will have the extra cash to be able to pay the midwife, since of course women during the breeding age are the most expensive to insure:irked:

[mom3b1?]

I thought I had replied to this a while ago, but I guess not...

We are planning a UC, UP as much as possible. My first dd was a mwhb and I just can't imagine having my baby anywhere else. Since her birth I have been pulled to UC and I know it's right for me. My mw was wonderful and very hands off, but I don't feel the need to have someone else there "just because."

I am a surrogate so it will be my boyfriend and my IPs (intended parents) present for the birth. When I first started looking into surrogacy I decided that I would be ok with a mwhb or bc birth since I know UC is kind of out there, but I just can't do a hospital birth. My IM was so excited when we first met that I wanted a homebirth because that's what she would do if she was giving birth. After months and months of talking she asked if I had heard of UC and how I felt about it. So needless to say we are very excitedly looking forward to our upcoming UC!! I can't wait to give birth, lol!

Very cool!

Kiley

[naturallia]

Wow, Trish, it's wonderful you are a surrogate.

[jljeppson]

Ok, I'm kind of disappointed. My family has a history of miscarriage so I tend to wait until the 2nd trimester to tell people I live around that I'm pregnant and since this is my last I wanted to savor it for awhile. Definitely not going to happen. DH had to tell his parents Sun because so many people had been asking him this past weekend if I was pregnant yet that he went ahead and told his parents so no one else would know first. At least he is the one that told them this time. I've told them every other time and they haven't always looked pleased. (Happy to have grandbabies, just worry for my hubby that never really wanted kids how he will cope with 6.) Everyone knows we planned on one more and since our kids are around 2yrs apart and my daughter will be 2 in Sept they assumed it was about that time again. Everyone at his work already knows because 1 of the women there pinned him down and wouldn't let him evade the question. Even my kids have been asking me for weeks if I was pregnant. So much for enjoying the info by ourselves for a little while.

[NamastePlatypus]

Well I got it all approved by tricare this week, I am so excited, I wish I had a facilty like you have at hand firecat but I think I might still opt for hb anyway but that is what I had with e and it was amazing:duck:

[bloominmamas]

Just wanted to update that I have all the medicaid stuff in order so that I am officially planning a homebirth, YAY!! Set up my first appointment and everything, so it's a go:p

[Bluemoonbath]

I will be having my 3rd unassisted homebirth in Feb

[mom3b1?]

So far I'm Ok, but I'm bleeding a bit. At my age, and with my history of many miscarriages, it's almost to be expected that I could loose another one. Still, it's not over yet. Mostly the bleeding has been extremely light.

I called up the MW I'm thinking about hiring, and she was very nice. She told me to stay in bed for 24 hours beyond when the bleeding stops. She told me there's no need to see a Doctor for a m/c, which I was happy to hear her say. I long ago gave up on Doctors for m/c, even before I gave up on them for birth. I don't want to tell work that I'm pregnant, so I'm not sure how I'm going to handle that.

I'm glad the kids are visiting their Dad, so I don't have to tell them. I don't want to tell them anything for a few more weeks.

Good thing there is a Doctor Who marathon on the Sci-Fi channel or I'd loose my mind.

Kiley

[flapjack]

Kiley, I'm scared for you: how long is the Doctor Who marathon going on for? They're not showing all 30 seasons, are they?

:hug
Here's to a speedy end to the bleeding as well.

[mom3b1?]

No, it was just this new series, which I'd only seen one episode of. It's over now. I'm watching some awful Movie that my DH put on, one of his DVDs. He likes bad movies, thinks they are funny.

I'm supposed to take a friend to dinner tonight, but can't. I don't want to tell her why I can't go, because I don't want her to know I am/was pregnant. She took care of our rabbit and rats while we were out of town. DH is over there now helping her move furniture, the least we can do.

The bleeding is kind of coming and going. Only time will tell if the baby will hang in there or not.

Kiley

[NamastePlatypus]

No, it was just this new series, which I'd only seen one episode of. It's over now. I'm watching some awful Movie that my DH put on, one of his DVDs. He likes bad movies, thinks they are funny.

I'm supposed to take a friend to dinner tonight, but can't. I don't want to tell her why I can't go, because I don't want her to know I am/was pregnant. She took care of our rabbit and rats while we were out of town. DH is over there now helping her move furniture, the least we can do.

The bleeding is kind of coming and going. Only time will tell if the baby will hang in there or not.

Kiley
best of luck to you with your dh's movie choices( sounds like mine) and the bleeding. I am thinking about you and your bean:loveeyes:

[Mama2-4]

I really want to have a home birth with this baby, especially since it is probably our last baby. My DH is very reluctant about it. Our last baby was born in a nice quaint birthing center with a midwife. The labor was fast, but VERY painful, but I did it all naturally (I had natural childbirth with all of my kids).

I just love the idea of being at home with my other little ones around me when the new baby is born...it is so special. I guess one draw back is we don't have any family around here and the day or two in the hospital not having to worry about meals etc...is kind of nice, but certainly doesn't make it worth it.

We have lots to think about and discuss...I would like to just have an oops UC at home! When I worked in L&D I always marveled at the women who would come in with the baby they delivered at home or in the car! It was so amazing!

[ChocolateNummies]

I'm going for a homebirth this time. My first was a hospital birth. My second a birth center. In retrospect it feels so silly to have left my home to birth my child at the center. I traveled in a rush in transition to have my baby less than an hour after arrival. Shoulda just stayed home.

This time hopefully I will. Dh is a bit anxious about it though. We live 45 minutes away from the nearest hospital (and birth center) and he's concerned about complications at that distance. I'm not really. Staying here sounds so peaceful.

[firecat]

Bluemoonbath, very exciting!! There are quite a few of us planning ucs, yay!

mama-nym, thank you, I hope it will work out. It is nice your homebirth midwives take your insurance :)

[Jlcampbellkidz]

Wow, this thread sure has grown since i first started it a month ago. And alas, now I have to unjoin the homebirthers. After my last homebirth, I can't imagine a more peaceful or safe setting to have a baby. But I was tested for some blood clotting issues due to reacurrent miscarriage and turns out I have a serious condition called antiphospholip antibody syndrome or APS Luckily I only have one area the IgG My blood clots too much and can cause Still birth, underdeveloped baby, preeclampsia and many other horrible outcomes. They treat women with Heprin for this, but even then there is still a 25% chance of something yucky happening. I am now seeing a Maternal Fetal Medicine Doctor and a Midwife group that delivers in a hospital. I have told myself for two years now, the only way to have a safe and peaceful delivery is to do it home and now I can't. The concern is, that once I deliver, I will bleed too much because of the heprin. More than just being given pitocen or methergin could stop. They might need to do a platelet transfusion.

I am having such a hard time. Giving up my ideal birth for what I truley believe in my gut is a good reason to be in a hospital. I have delivered at this hospital with this midwife group with my second child and it was a positive experienc. Very little monitoring and I was able to eat, and drink and move about and use the shower and tub. They will deliver wherever I choose.

I wish the rest of you the best of experiences. Homebirth is so amazing!

[flapjack]

Oh, Laurie, I'm so sorry that it came to this- but so glad that this condition was caught. :hug Here is wishing you a gentle safe birth all the same (and that you bleed JUST ENOUGH to make the hospital worth it, not enough to be exciting. 520mls, maybe?)

[Greeneyes0506]

:Hug Wow, this thread sure has grown since i first started it a month ago. And alas, now I have to unjoin the homebirthers. After my last homebirth, I can't imagine a more peaceful or safe setting to have a baby. But I was tested for some blood clotting issues due to reacurrent miscarriage and turns out I have a serious condition called antiphospholip antibody syndrome or APS Luckily I only have one area the IgG My blood clots too much and can cause Still birth, underdeveloped baby, preeclampsia and many other horrible outcomes. They treat women with Heprin for this, but even then there is still a 25% chance of something yucky happening. I am now seeing a Maternal Fetal Medicine Doctor and a Midwife group that delivers in a hospital. I have told myself for two years now, the only way to have a safe and peaceful delivery is to do it home and now I can't. The concern is, that once I deliver, I will bleed too much because of the heprin. More than just being given pitocen or methergin could stop. They might need to do a platelet transfusion.

I am having such a hard time. Giving up my ideal birth for what I truley believe in my gut is a good reason to be in a hospital. I have delivered at this hospital with this midwife group with my second child and it was a positive experienc. Very little monitoring and I was able to eat, and drink and move about and use the shower and tub. They will deliver wherever I choose.

I wish the rest of you the best of experiences. Homebirth is so amazing!


My Mom has the same exact disorder! :Hug I hope everything goes smoothly for you

[azyre]

Laurie, sorry to hear of your additional challenges :( But glad you are able to get appropriate care to see you and bubby as healthy as possible. I can imagine how hard it is to have to turn your plans around like that, but you know you can from experience you can have a good experience in that circumstance, so hang on to that when you dream ahead *hugs*

[smokeylo]

:( Laurie, what a bummer. It sounds, though, like you're a case where a homebirth wouldn't be safe, and that's what hospitals SHOULD be for. Best of luck to you, please keep us updated.

I talked to my midwife this morning! Or at least the woman I think I'll be hiring (she wants me to interview many midwives, but I think if me and DH like her, we'll probably stick to her). She was enthusiastic about attending my birth and will be calling me tomorrow to firm up an appointment. I can't wait! She is a CPM and will be taking her boards for her CNM licensure this month. This means we might get some insurance coverage -- you can bet I'll be pushing for that, anyway! Regardless, it was a great conversation and I am really looking forward to having a care provider lined up.

[True Blue]

I am going to officially hire my midwife this afternoon (after I take a nap...lol...DD just went to sleep so now's my chance!!!)!!! I am so excited, I had an u/s today a the OB's office to make sure I was only having one (twins run in family) and that confirmed that I never want to walk in there again! Not that I was going to in the first place, I mean I never had any intentions of letting her care for me during my pregnancy. Go read my ultrasound post, you'll die when you see what she had to say!!!!! But at any rate, healthy little bean with a strong heartbeat measuring right on, if not a couple days ahead. :)

[TrishWSU]

Laurie, I'm sorry you won't be able to have your ideal homebirth, but I'm glad you and baby will be getting the care you need. I hope you have an ideal and safe birth in the hospital.

So we are totally UP now, YAY!! I had my first "appointment" with myself yesterday and everything is great, lol! We are planning to get a 3D u/s since my IPs want to know the baby's gender and you don't have to have a "doctor" order the 3D ones. They are just paid out-of-pocket. I'm actually really excited about finding out because both IM and I are convinced this baby is a boy. It's so nice doing everything on my own!

[SamuraiMom]

We are eight weeks along, but due to 2 m/c's, I am reluctant to feel too secure. However, G-d willing we get to February, we will be birthing at home. My first two babes were born in Hospital, the first one not so bad, the 2nd crazy, but our 3rd was at home and the most wonderful experience of my life. But, I am sooo tired right now, I can't even go on, and I have to pee. Be back tomorrow!

[noordinaryspider]

Yay. Trish! I'm so glad to have another UP-er here. So far it is so freeing for me, but I do get a bit nervous sometimes because I have never done anything like this before.

I wanted to toss out the existence of Intelligender (http://www.intelligender.com/) to you and your IPs in case that would be something you would be interested in; it is MUCH less expensive and invasive than an ultrasound and about 90% accurate.

[DDNemo]

Hi everyone! I have a question....

So, I have a great MW for my planned HB, everything is going perfect so far. I am not too worried about things going wrong... BUT I have read of women having an "emergency plan" so that they don't end up in the ER with whatever Dr. is there....

I was just wondering if anyone here is doing that? And if so, how do you coordinate with an OB to be an emergency back up? Should I just start with my regular OB/GYN, and see if she would do it? I just can't imagine too many Drs would be happy with this....

[doula jbw]

I sit ok to jump in now? I am planning my 3rd homebirth - wouldn't do it any other way. This is my first birth since becoming a doula and a childbirth educator so i am feeling nervous like I have to do it "right." The other 2 were great - long and posterior but awesome experiences. now I just have to walk my talk :)

[doula jbw]

Hi everyone! I have a question....

So, I have a great MW for my planned HB, everything is going perfect so far. I am not too worried about things going wrong... BUT I have read of women having an "emergency plan" so that they don't end up in the ER with whatever Dr. is there....

I was just wondering if anyone here is doing that? And if so, how do you coordinate with an OB to be an emergency back up? Should I just start with my regular OB/GYN, and see if she would do it? I just can't imagine too many Drs would be happy with this....


I never had an "emergency plan" I felt like that would be attracting something I did not want. I knew that in a true emergency I would be taken care of in our local hospital and I just trusted.
I reccomend talking to your midwife and see what her usual protocols and/or suggestions are. She may have a usual dr and hospital that she uses for back-up. Most docs are funny and not supportive about doing homebirth back-up but if you feel really comfortable with your ob then you should talk to her too.
Good luck

[TrishWSU]

Diana, my MW from DD's birth discouraged this because it can plant the seed in your mind that something will go wrong. She had 2 back-up OBs that she worked with who would be on-call if an emergency did come up, but she doesn't want her clients focusing too much on the small chance of a true emergency coming up.

[flapjack]

:yeah:

If you're truly high risk (have a pre-existing medical condition or are on a subsequent pregnancy) then that's one thing. As things stand, though, the reason most first-time mums decide to transfer is because they want some help with pain relief or the labour is taking longer than they feel comfortable with- and frankly, in a situation like this it's likely to happen at night and unlikely that your OB would be on call anyhow.

[smokeylo]

I plan to quickly write up a "transfer birth wish list" for my doula in the event that we do have to transfer, so that my post partum wishes will be known and respected. I don't plan on establishing care w/ anyone but my midwife, so if I go to the hospital it will be for an emergency and I'll take whoever they give me. I just want to make sure my baby isn't given bottles or anything. I will get that over with later and when I do it, it will be quick.

[SamuraiMom]

My MW's and I have a plan that includes the local hospital. I am sort of flip flopping with getting a new family practitioner, one that I have been told is HB friendly, though he probably wouldn't agree to being a back up. A few years ago, Ina May Gaskin came to our town to speak about HB and transfers. I don't remember the Fam. Practitioner who spoke on behalf of the OB and LD department, oh, but it was so funny when a young OB, maybe she was a resident...asked, rather incredulously, "Well, when you bring them in, how are we supposed to know their history," BP and the like, she assumed that these things were not recorded. The room full of PMW's and Doulas laughed. Anyway, I guess it's supossed to be understood that the Nurses and Dr.'s would be respectful of women who had planned a HB, but end up in Hospital, and will respect their wishes regarding birth plans, so far as it does not get in the way of what they feel is necessary to protect the life of mama and baby. I would actually love to go UC, but I am only worried about the cord being wrapped and not knowing it. Though I have heard such incredible stories of mama's reaching in and unwrapping the cord, or removing the lip of the cervix from the babies head to open passage, that amazes me! Anyway, I like having someone there to clean up afterwards, and I love my MW!

[flapjack]

I hear those stories too. I keep toying with the idea of forgetting to call the m/w, but then I said that last time and I don't truly know if I'd have got Skye out safely. I was in a bloody silly position to give birth in and really not in touch with my inner self, kwim? I think this time I'm going to leave it as late as possible to ring.

[mama_nym]

I have a hospital transfer birth plan just in case - I don't wan