No heartbeat!

[SpringRain]

I'm 13 weeks and at my appointment this morning my midwife couldn't find the heartbeat. She says that this is really common at the stage and that 40% of the time they can't find it, but I'm really kinda freaked out. I've had a lot of cramping and spotting this pregnancy and I just feel like I'm on shaky ground here. I did have an u/s at 10 weeks due to the bleeding and cramping and everything looked good then. We did see the heartbeat on the u/s.

So, please tell me your stories. Any words of advice are welcome. I'm just so upset.

Thanks

[Eman'smom]

Did she feel your uterus? My uterus is tipped so I hear the heartbeats "late". With ds she felt my uterus to make sure it was growing at 10 weeks, it was a one hand on the belly one hand inside thing, not pleasant but reasuring. I didn't hear the heartbeat until 14 weeks.

Did she say you should come back in a week or two to recheck, how about a second ultrasound. IMO the stress is worse than any procedures so do what you need to do to calm down. Maybe you could call back in a bit, and try to talk to her or a nurse or somebody about what you could do to ease your fears.

[skye's mama]

Stay positive! Take a deep breath and focus on your baby being fine. I think your midwife would be honest with you if there was a reason to be concerned. If something happens 40% of the time, then it is *very* common. So try your best not to get too stressed out about it. I know this advice is kind of crummy especially since I haven't been in the same situation. But I didn't have my first appt. until I was 18 weeks along, so I don't know if I would have heard anything at 13 weeks either. Also, my guess is that u/s is more sensitive than the doppler that my midwife uses. So it seems reasonable to me that you might hear the heartbeat with the u/s, but not with the doppler.

Hope this helps! Hang in there!

[lilyka]

I woiuld get an ultra sound. Not knowing would kill me. I had spotting and cramping at 12 weeks and they didn't even bother with the doppler because "It will totlaly freak you out if we can't find the heart beat and we will probably have trouble finding it" They didn't need a tech to find the heartbeat. The nurse did it so there wasn't a charge (I don't know if money is a ocncern for you) and it only took about 60 seconds too. I was just so reassuring to see her doing her little happy dance in there. If this is something that you will llose sleep over then I say it is definitely worth it to get the ultrasound.

[pamamidwife]

13 weeks can still be early for many mamas, Eman'smom mentioned, due to the tipped uterus - even a placenta that is positioned in the front of the uterus (anteriorly) can "hide" your little bean and make it difficult to hear for quite awhile.

Chances are things are fine. Don't worry! You might want to call her in between now and your next prenatal just to see if you can get together to hear baby. :)

[pmcleod]

They had a problem finding my baby's heartbeat with the doppler at 12 weeks also. Since I'd had a previous miscarriage, I pretty much insisted on an ultrasound, and they didn't argue. Hang in there, but don't feel shy about insisting on a quick ultrasound in times like this!

Pam
edd 9/28/03

[wolfmom]

All the above advice sounds good but I just wanted to send you some love. Take care of yourself and think positive!

[Gemini]

I woiuld get an ultra sound. Not knowing would kill me.

I agree with this...

You have no need to be worrying yourself sick knowing if your pregnancy is okay. I say get confirmation very soon to ease your mind. The stress you're feeling about this is NOT healthy for you or small baby inside.

(sending good thoughts)

[SpringRain]

Thanks for the words of reassurance. I would get another u/s, but they don't do them at the midwife clinic I go to. I'd have to be referred to the hospital to get one. I'm not sure that it's worth all that trouble when it is fairly normal (i guess) to not find the heartbeat yet. *sigh* I wish I could find confidence in my body. I'm having such a hard time trusting that everything is going to be OK this time.

I'm going to be 14 weeks in 2 days. Has anyone else not heard the heartbeat this late?

[mountainmommy]

I had this happen with my first pregnancy! I think that I had a uterus that hadn't been in the correct position. Also, my due date was faulty si they tried to hear it at "10 weeks" but it was actually only 8 weeks along. My midwife just wwwwworried me, saying that perhaps the baby had stopped growing...can you imagine?! I had irregular cycles and she should have known that the due date might have been off. She had me so worried and everything was fine. If you're worried, I would definitely get the hospital referral and get the ultrasound. I agree with the posting about stress ang worry being worse than an ultrasound.

[Kirsten]

Can't remember with dd1 and dd2 but with dd3 (just two weeks old now so it is fresher in my mind) I know that my midwife asked me if I even wanted her to try to hear it with the doppler at that stage - she told me she may not be able to hear it and would that freak me out. I know it would have the first pregnancy but I am much more mellow now. She tried, couldn't hear it, but I was not worried. However, I have not had any preg losses so I bet I would feel differently if so.
Please try not to worry! 40% is a huge percentage! So nearly half the time they can't hear the heartbeat - try to stay positive and not worry and know you will hear it next appointment. If you are really freaked out, then I would ask for an ultrasound but my money is on everything being perfectly fine.
Kirsten

[Mary-Beth]

This happened to me with my first pregnancy...I have a healthy dd now too so stay positive! Envision the outcome that you want.
In my case, we heard the heart tones at 10 weeks and then could not hear them at 14 weeks. My midwife expalained that this is not a cause for alarm. She advised me it could be becasue of a tipped back uterous- which is not a problem for pregnancy or labor. It could be that the baby is kind of hiding under your artery- as many babies like being close to mommy's heart beat. (see, its so sweet) It could be that you are not as far along as you think for whatever reason sometimes dates need to be adjusted. My midwife recommended that I come in again in 2 days to take a quick listen again with the dopplar. And indeed we heard the heart tones- but it took a bit of searching! Maybe you could call and ask to come in to look for the heart tones again?

When I left the office that day though I remember thinking okay I can worry or I can just trust everything is well. It sounds cliche like or someting but I honestly made a decision to do what I could to send love to my baby which for me meant a sense of calm, peacefulness, and acceptance. Please don't get me wrong, if you are worried you aren't a bad momma! But if you can turn inward and try to trust your body and your baby or working together and are well!

[Viola]

I haven't been able to hear the heartbeat at my 12 week appointments, so both times the docs did a "quick" u/s, just to verify it was there. I ended up not hearing it until about 16 weeks.

[casmi]

We can never find my babys' HB at 13wks either. I pretty thin too, so you would think it would be easy - NOPE!

The doc drug in the u/s machine and did a quick scan and we saw the heartbeat.

I had originally only wanted 2 u/s's but so far I've already had 3 and I have have one more planned for Friday due to a medical condition I seem to be developing.

Anyway, I just wanted to reassure you that it is a common thing not to hear the HB at 13wks.

Good Luck! :)

[SpringRain]

Thank you all!! I'm feeling a lot better today. Dh and I talk about it and decided to get into she the midwife again on Monday to see if we can find that heartbeat. If we can't hear it then, we will go for another u/s. I'm trying to trust in my body and send love and acceptance of whatever may come to my baby. I helps that I've thrown up 5 times since yesterday, and my nipples are extremely sore. (I never thought I'd be happy about that!)

I'll keep you posted on how it goes. Please send healthy baby vibes my way.

-Mandy

[gossamer]

Sizzkid,
They had a hard time finding my babies heartbeat too. Infact they then had a hardtime finding my baby via ultrasound so my OB was asking me if I still felt pregnant, if I had been having cramping or bleeding. So for about 15 minutes or so I didn't think I was pregnant anymore. I am now 20 weeks pregnant and my baby is safe and sound and growing like a weed. SO I will keep you in my thoughts and prayers knowing in my heart that everything is ok.

Gossamer

[SpringRain]

Great News!!! We heard the heartbeat today. :love What a sweet sound. 152 beats per minute and sounding great. Thank you all for your support and advice. :grouphug

[Luckymomma]

Whew! I'm sure you're feeling better. I know you'll have a wonderful Christmas. Congratulations!