View Full Version : For those who have other children....
mimi_n_tre
06-07-2007, 10:40 AM
how old is your youngest? Mine is 11 months and they will about 19 months apart.... How much of a challenge do you think I have ahead of me???
Mary
eilonwy
06-07-2007, 11:32 AM
My youngest is 14 months old. Babies 1 and 2 are 19.5 months apart; 2 and 3 are 21 months apart (supposed to be 22).
I've got a brother who is 10.5 months younger than I am; I was a VERY easy and very strange baby, and my mom still says her life was INSANE. On the other hand, when it's over it's over-- you move on to the next stage. You've got a rough road ahead of you, I won't kid. Nursing will probably be difficult... with my first, he wasn't ready to eat solid food when my milk dried up. It was horrible, he and I were both miserable. :( Today, however, he's 4.5 and she's nearly 3 and they're the best of friends. Separate the two of them for a few hours and they greet each other with hugs and kisses and cries of "Oh, brother, I missed you!" and "My sister, I love you so much!" :lol (Okay, they're a little melodramatic, but you get the idea! :lol) They've always been close. I can remember seeing a picture of tandem nurslings holding hands and I thought "that's so corny, that has to be staged..." and then my kids did it. :lol They just love being together. :lol
noordinaryspider
06-07-2007, 11:35 AM
Well, my youngest is fifteen and has another birthday before the birth day.
:lol
My first set of kids were two yars and ten months apart. I wanted them closer, but life just didn't work out that way. The first year was absolutely the hardest. Parts of it were exhausting, but tandeming was so wonderful and having a little, verbal person who could still remember what it was like to be a baby was helpful.
What I missed most, silly as it sounds, was being able to curl up around the little baby and take a nap with him. At the same time I regret handing the big baby off to her father as much as I did instead of just toughing it out.
By the time the little baby was mobile, things got MUCH easier. They could play together and entertain each other and the way my windows were set up, it was even safe for both babies to play in the yard (within eyesight from inside the house) at a much younger age that when I was able to let the big baby outdoors.
Nineteen months is going to be wonderful! Congratulations.
flapjack
06-07-2007, 11:54 AM
My first two are 21 months apart- again, should have been nearer 22. All I can really say is that I don't remember 2001 at all :lol PPD with a toddler and a newborn is both common and crippling. The problems come when you're dealing with something way out of the norm- like a child with severe eczema and allergies who occasionally gets hospitalised, for instance. Other than that, I would honestly say that pregnancy with a young toddler is harder than life with 2 under 2.
We were trying for close spacing this time, btw. It's that good when they grow up ;)
eilonwy
06-07-2007, 12:04 PM
Oh, one more thing that I wish I'd thought of/been told in advance-- anemia. I was exhausted, nursing the first two. I thought it was just having two little kids, but one day I tried to give blood and they told me I couldn't-- I was very anemic. I started taking Floravital and it was like magic. All of the problems I had been having with energy, depression, and anger disappeared over the course of a week. :o Even if you don't tend to be anemic, it's hard to stay on top of your own physical health with two teeny tinies. :nod I highly recommend a good iron and/or vitamin supplement. It wil do wonders for your sanity. :nod
noordinaryspider
06-07-2007, 12:48 PM
. I can remember seeing a picture of tandem nurslings holding hands and I thought "that's so corny, that has to be staged..." and then my kids did it. :lol They just love being together. :lol
I absolutely LOVED it when my kiddos did that! I was thrilled to find some tandeming pictures when I was going through the albums and albums of 35 mm shots and scanning them.
http://i67.photobucket.com/albums/h309/Qwerty_Uiop/TandemNursing.jpg
Tandem Nursing Pic #2 (http://i67.photobucket.com/albums/h309/Qwerty_Uiop/tandemnursing2-1.jpg)
Tandem Nursing Pic #3 (http://i67.photobucket.com/albums/h309/Qwerty_Uiop/TandemNursing3.jpg)
I would totally do a close spacing again if I wasn't quite so single and quite so 42.
Another thing I forgot to mention is that if you have even the slightest wisp of a plan to homeschool in the future, kids who are 19 months apart are very likely to enjoy doing the majority of their work together, which can make things easier for you as long as you watch the competition. Mine were a bit too far apart and too different as far as abilities and interests most of the time.
ellymay
06-07-2007, 12:54 PM
my youngest is 13 months so they will be not quite 2yrs apart my other kids are 3yrs apart so this will be new to me :)
Nature
06-07-2007, 02:26 PM
My youngest is almost 17 months old, and will just be 2 when this babe is born. My other children are five years apart, and three years apart.. so this will be the closest spacing for me. :)
Kalopsia
06-07-2007, 03:24 PM
My youngest turned 3 in April. I wish there wasn't as big of a space between them, but I'm just happy to finally be pregnant again.
mom3b1?
06-07-2007, 05:36 PM
how old is your youngest? Mine is 11 months and they will about 19 months apart.... How much of a challenge do you think I have ahead of me???
Mary
Well, my youngest at this time is 6. He and his brothers are all about two years apart. My sister and I are 18 mos apart and that was what I was hoping for.
It's really hard to have them close together when they are little. It's a lot of work. I felt like I was washing diapers all the time, and I was! I tandem nursed them all, and even had all three nursing at once (well, not at the exact same time, but during the same time period).
On the other hand, they keep each other busy and entertained. They love each other and will always have each other to look out for each other. They fight way too much, which is wearing on the nerves. They also rat each other out, so it's like having an extra set of eyes.
Overall I think it's great, but hard.
Kiley
jaxinsmom
06-07-2007, 07:20 PM
my little guy will turn 3 the week before my due date. :) I think that's perfect.
Yes, Im sure you'll have your hands full, but like anything else it'll have its benefits as well! My brother and I are 16 months apart and we were super close growing up (besides all the fighting :wink ).
Mama2-4
06-07-2007, 09:31 PM
I know I will be busy! I will have a 2 year old boy, a 5 year old boy and a 12 year old daughter. My daughter is a huge help (when she wants to be) and is very excited about having another baby. The 5 year old is my big challenge right now...he is Mr. Independent, does not listen to me AT ALL and really makes me totally insane! Thank goodness he starts kindergarten in the fall, even though it is only 1/2 day it will be a nice break! I am also hoping that being in the classroom will help to sharpen his listening skills a little. The little guy is very easy going and really just blends in!
The other crazy bit about my life is that my husband is away every other week for work. My house is like the nut house most days!
Andrea
Carlito's_wife
06-08-2007, 09:05 AM
Well my oldest is 8 and the youngest is 5. They are about 4 years apart. They get along okay. But my oldest is kind of sensative so I think he takes my 5 year old under his wing out of sympathy most of the time. This one is going to be even farther apart. When this baby is born there will be a 6 year difference between him/her and my youngest and a 9 year difference between my oldest. Kind of weird I guess.
Miss Blue
06-08-2007, 10:23 AM
My first two are 2.5 years apart and I thought that was hard. My firstborn struggled with accepting someone new into her world, and I think the emotional adjustment was what was the hardest. Work-wise it wasn't terrible because dd #2 was such a laid-back baby. I used to just put her in the sling and carry her everywhere. My oldest used to follow us around and "help" with whatever chores I was doing.
When #3 is born I will have a 6 and 4 y.o. I expect them to want to help a lot with the baby.
My father was one of 6 siblings, and he had an Irish twin on either side of him. My grandmother had 3 in cloth diapers at one time, doing all her laundry in an old-timey washer with a wringer on it. So when I think of that I am reminded that my life is much easier! Those women were tough, that's for sure.
mama_nym
06-08-2007, 11:42 AM
A adn Z are a little under 19 months apart, Z and H are 23 months apart, and H and C are 3+ years apart and we had very smooth transitions with all my kids. My youngest now is 20 months old - will be 2yrs 4.5 mo when the new babe arrives.
I love tandem/triandem nursing - especially the hand holding, head rubbing, the older nursling playing with baby's feet...
When this babe is born, I'll have a 9 year old, a 7.5 year old, a 5.5 year old and a 2+ year old. :dizzy: :lol
ksera05
06-08-2007, 01:21 PM
Mine is 10 months old. We just got a BFP this morning. They are going to end up being about 17 months apart in age. Eeeek.
I wanted them close. I just hope I don't regret it. :lol
mom3b1?
06-08-2007, 05:25 PM
Mine is 10 months old. We just got a BFP this morning. They are going to end up being about 17 months apart in age. Eeeek.
I wanted them close. I just hope I don't regret it. :lol
I think you will have moments when you regret it, but overall will be thrilled it worked out so well. My sister and I are 18mos old, and tried to have our babies spaced about that way because we love being so close.
My three are 10, 8, & 6, and I LOVE having them so close, would have them a little closer if I could. What I wasn't counting on, is getting them all up and running in school, going back to work, settling into an ideal job with part time hours around their schedule...then starting all over at the age of 43. EEEK!
Kiley
frontierpsych
06-09-2007, 07:30 PM
my dd would have been 6 1/2 months old by now. I couldn't imagine having 2 that are 14 mos apart, although DH and SIL are 15 mos apart, and my brother and I are 20 mos. apart.
noordinaryspider
06-09-2007, 08:40 PM
Phoenix and my surviving dd were 14 months apart, Kati. Phoenix was long gone by the time dd was born so I don't know anything at all about the logistics of two siblings so close in age, but I do know that I did okay physically, except that I gained a LOT more weight with dd which might have been because I had to eplenish nutrients that had been depleted by the previous pregnancy. Emotionally, it made things easier to think of dd as being a boy while I was pregnant and then it helped a lot after the birth that she looked so different than Phoenix had and her personality was also her own. I never thought of her as a "replacement baby" but I did have some bonding issues because I was so afraid of losing her too. I was open with her about her older sister as I hope you will be about Mackenzie MiChele and we have mostly been able to talk through it. When she was a toddler, we did have one incident where she deliberately destroyed a few mementoes and I was horified. I had the sense to leave the room and calm down before I talked to her about what she had done. She was going through a phase of "sibling rivalry" with a ghost sister who seemed to be able to do no wrong. I decided that it was time to put the mementos away in a safe place for awhile and try to focus my own emotions on the present.
When she was an infant, she was not able to understand why Mommy would sometimes start crying and hurt because she missed the other little girl, but dd did know that she had the power to make mommy laugh and smile again by being her own sweet self. She was a very compassionate baby.
In a lot of ways, I think she saved me. I don't know how I could have accepted the senseless loss of my firstborn if I had not had her little sister to drag me out of my own private hell.
I was so thrilled to find out that you are pregnant again, Kati, and I hope your new little one helps you heal and helps your love of Mackenzie MiChele's memory to grow and deepen with each passing year.
Greeneyes0506
06-09-2007, 09:29 PM
I know I'm in for some trouble when this baby comes :lol
My oldest will almost be 5 when the baby comes.
My second DD will be 2 1/2.
DS will be 18 months.
And I'll have a newborn :dizzy: I'm just praying it isn't twins
Brigianna
06-10-2007, 01:33 AM
She's almost exactly 6 months. I also have an almost 2 yr old, a 4 yr old, and a 7 yr old.
This should be fun!
Dov'sMom
06-10-2007, 03:12 PM
She's almost exactly 6 months. I also have an almost 2 yr old, a 4 yr old, and a 7 yr old.
This should be fun!
My youngest (and only) is just six months too, so we're looking at a similar spread (except that I don't really know how pregnant I am so I could be a January mom...). But if you have an almost 2 year old too, you did something similar last time, right?
LoveChild421
06-10-2007, 03:19 PM
My son is 2 years and 4 months right now. He'll be almost 3 when the baby is born.
naturallia
06-10-2007, 04:25 PM
My youngest DS is 10 months, turning 11 months on Friday. So I think that's 18-20 months apart
ksera05
06-10-2007, 04:49 PM
My youngest (and only) is just six months too, so we're looking at a similar spread (except that I don't really know how pregnant I am so I could be a January mom...). But if you have an almost 2 year old too, you did something similar last time, right?
wow there are a lot of us with close together babies! :lol
StrawberryFields
06-10-2007, 04:56 PM
I have an 18 month baby boy and I am so nervous about having two little ones about 26 months apart!
Brigianna
06-10-2007, 08:44 PM
My youngest (and only) is just six months too, so we're looking at a similar spread (except that I don't really know how pregnant I am so I could be a January mom...). But if you have an almost 2 year old too, you did something similar last time, right?
No, actually my almost 2 yr old is (in the process of being) adopted. But still, if you look at my kids' birthdays, you'll notice the shrinking gap between babies. Maybe my next one will be twins.
Close together can be good. Get a double stroller and embrace the chaos.
aircantu1
06-10-2007, 09:32 PM
This baby is due 4 months after my older children turn 3 and 5...I'm hoing the slightly larger age difference this time will make the first year a little easier. We'll see!
miss_honeyb
06-11-2007, 04:59 PM
how old is your youngest? Mine is 11 months and they will about 19 months apart.... How much of a challenge do you think I have ahead of me???
Mary
Hi Mary, you may not remember, but we were in the "pregnancy after a loss" forum at the same time when you were expecting Arianna and I was expecting Moses! I'm excited to see we're both expecting again!
I'll have about a 20 month spread and I have NO idea how I'm going to do it. :dizzy: But my dd will be almost 9 (!) by then and she already has almost more mothering instinct with her little brother than I do! I know she'll be a big help.:slingboy:
JJJJBlue3333
06-12-2007, 02:34 AM
My first two are 20 months apart this baby will have a 24 month gap so I'll have a 3.7 year old, 2 year old and then newborn...
newchicagomommy
06-12-2007, 06:32 AM
My DD turns one tomorrow and I'm 5.5 weeks pregnant... I'm sure it will be tough, but we want a big family and are both pretty laid back... so giddiup!
justmama
06-12-2007, 06:41 AM
Our girls are nearly 7 and 2 1/2 so the "baby" will be just over 3 when her little brother/sister arrives. She's still very much a mama's girl and I can't imagine having her be any younger when a new sibling arrived. She's still constnatly "ON" me even though she already weaned and she refuses to let daddy help her in favor of mommy. I watched a 6 month old a little while back and she was SOOOOO jealous. I think it's going to be an interesting road!:lol The almost 7 year old is a little jealous still of her sister but she's going to be absolutely thrilled to have another baby coming. She's been asking for over a year now for another baby. She is a HUGE help with getting things for me as I sit stuck in a rocker nursing or slinging the baby(when the 2 year old was smaller) while I'm in the shower. I just bought a mei tai specifically for her and I'm going to be making a wrap for her. That way she is capable of slinging the baby safely while I supervise. She even changes some diapers, she actually asks. So she's a huge help to me. I am so excited.
miss_honeyb
06-12-2007, 07:04 AM
I just bought a mei tai specifically for her and I'm going to be making a wrap for her. That way she is capable of slinging the baby safely while I supervise.
My 8 yr old dd really wants her own wrap or mei tai! But her "little" brother is a hefty 25 pounds and she's a very petite 42 pounds, so I'm not sure she'll be able to carry him! But maybe for the next baby... Where did you find a child-sized mei tai?
bloominmamas
06-12-2007, 08:00 AM
Maggie is 5 and Will is 3, they were born about 26 months apart. It was hard because Maggie was such a Mama's girl and baby came along, I sometimes wish we had waited a couple more years before Will, but they love each other so much and play really well with each other. Will will be almost exactly 4 years older than this baby, so we will see how that goes:wink
eilonwy
06-12-2007, 09:38 AM
My 8 yr old dd really wants her own wrap or mei tai! But her "little" brother is a hefty 25 pounds and she's a very petite 42 pounds, so I'm not sure she'll be able to carry him! But maybe for the next baby... Where did you mind a child-sized mei tai?
My 40-pound son carries my 32 pound daughter all the time. :lol It's an absolute riot, he's only about four inches taller than she is. He's a real beefcake, though. :lol
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