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View Full Version : Unemployed? Has it affected your parenting?




hslingmomof4
06-27-2003, 02:15 PM
I've read some posts over the past few weeks and noticed there were a lot of ppl affected by the economy and the loss of their jobs.

I don't think there is a forum for unemployment or support for a loss of a job so, that is why I have started this thread.

I like to hear stories and how being laid off affected your living. I also wonder how it affected your parenting.

I'll start with mine.

It has been two years since dh got laid off. We were o.k. with it until I got laid off 5 months later. I got laid off 2 months after 9/11. My deep depression started and I felt impaired to raising my four children. I am openminded but have a stubborn independent personality. Dh was off of work for 15 months b4 he found a job in Florida. I was still looking and had an offer with a company an hour away from our new hometown (Jebb's country). It was also in the Central time zone which would affect my parenting. I wouldn't get home until 7pm. I decided to homeschool, considering the school are no match for back home. I have gotten out of my depression without meds. I still have a bit of depression but I think in time I will adjust. During my time of deep depression, I neglected the basic needs of my children. communication. I slept tremendously. I did force myself to do get up and get them ready for school, brush teeth and even had parties for them. I was just silent and numb. I wasn't myself. My kids seen our cars get repo and we were hiding when they came knocking. I would scrounge around for pennies to buy milk. I couldn't believe my children were experiencing this. Dh picked up 3 pt jobs b/c none of them would hire him perm. They were retail stores and grocery stores. They wouldnt give him full time work. He lowered his standards of work and pay and still no one would hire him. It was really bad.

Now, at the end of it all. I am with my children all day and hsling them. I don't mind, I just need more time to adjust b/c I was this person who believed I needed to work and have a career. I am happy to be with them. I see that they are happy too. Normally they would be in a daycare in the summer months getting bored. Now, mom can take them everywhere and we have fun. They will remember the fun.

They say losing a job is like losing a loved one emotionally. There are 9 million ppl that are still out of a work. Some can't even find min. wage jobs as my dh tried. Majority of them have exhausted their benefits and have been unemployed for two years. Did you know that if you are out of work for 13 months (seen this on DR. Phil) that you have a 5 percent chance you will return after 13 months. You become consumed with the new lifestyle.

As for myself, well I am going to hs the children. I am planning on starting my own business where the children will help too. I will not return back to the corporate world. They don't deserve me, my children do.


So, how has losing a job, whether it be your spouse or you affected your parenting? How did you adjust? Are you still adjusting? Are you able to see the step in front of you? ( I couldn't for a long time)UY




geekmom
06-27-2003, 06:54 PM
I have been unemployed since the Internet bubble burst in 2000. It makes me feel so incredibly squeezed. It's just so frustrating. I am also single. I am able to really pay attention and be there for my children, but feel unable to do much else. I'm not at all depressed, just exhausted and overwhelmed. I can't keep my house as clean as I want, nor my car. My yard is overgrown. I so want to get things organized, but when? When all the kids are finally asleep I'm exhausted.

I finally, finally, finally got a job as a teacher for next September. NOw I just have to scrimp by until then. It's going to be so much work, but I'll have the money to hire people to do some of the things I don't have the time or energy for.

I know it would be way worse if I wasn't able to ever get a job or not get a good job, but I just feel liek I'll never get ahead, sigh. I felt with a teacher job I would at least have all my vacations and summers off with my kids.

Piglet68
06-27-2003, 07:02 PM
Great idea, hslingmomof4! Moving this to Finding Your Tribe... Hope you keep this thread going there - I'm sure many people could use the support!

sagewinna
06-27-2003, 07:22 PM
My DH was laid off 6 months ago from a tech company here. The job market is SO competative! They are gettin 75 resumes for every job he has applied for.

It's getting harder. We both had to adjust our expectations of each other. He is still looking, and he has good days and bad days. When he is depressed it effects us all.

We are trying to just take it one day at a time, not looking too far ahead.

hslingmomof4
06-27-2003, 08:51 PM
I've heard that a lot of teachers back home were cut. I'm shocked to hear in the most important field (teaching) they would lack funding. Wow, and you were single. I'm not sure if you had to resort yourself to govt funding but we did. I had to swallow my pride and get on food stamps, wic and ask for money. I just wanted to cry. I felt that I went back to 1991 when we started our family so young. I worked hard, just like everyone else to get where I was and bam, a slap in the face for all my hard work.


My dh is in the IT field too. He is a PB/SQL programmer. There are a few openings at his company. I don't know if you would want to transfer that far. I'll pm you with the link.