Stressing about alcohol before preg confirmation!

[TreeMama3]

I have a friend that is in quite a panic about his wife drinking before they found out she was pregnant yesterday. She is not a regular drinker, but last week she had a beer one night, a beer the next night and a night of 4 drinks on the 20th of Aug. She is 4 weeks pg now.

He is getting quite upset over his internet searches warning him of the very worst case scenarios.

Does anyone have any knowledge or input on if they really have something to worry about or how I can help them through this?

Thank you for all of your input!

Laurel:p
Proud homeschooling Mama to a 7 yr ds:bgbounce , 3 yr dd:hearts , the Belly Bean:belly coming in February and my angel ds :*pangel born 7-29-94

[leafwood]

Dh is a developmental biologist and he always told me that for the first 2 weeks the baby isn't even attached/implanted, so there's really not much to worry about that early on. Isn't 4 weeks pregnant really just 2 weeks after conception anyway (since you start counting from your last period). I always get confused with that, but I think it's the case.

I drank on my honeymoon more than I ever did and dd was conceived at the start of our 10 day vacation. She's fine. My MWs never worried.

[thismama]

I got absolutely *tanked* about a week after my daughter's conception. I had taken a blood pregnancy test at 4dpo, got a negative (of course!), and thought I wasn't pg. Drank and drank and drank... you wouldn't believe how much. :lol

Anyway, she's totally fine. Does everything ahead of schedule even, and is a happy and bright spirited kiddo.

Tell your friend don't worry, mama! I think a one time drunken-ness is absolutely fine.

eta - And as for the 'one beer' nights, I think those mean NOTHING. Ina May Gaskin talks about women drinking and drinking to avoid premature labour.

[stickywicket67]

i celebrated my birthday on christmas eve with many beers and lots of bottles of champagne.
then christmas. the champagne was seriously flowing + raw oysters + very un approved cheeses (and shhh... a little mj.)
then new years- even more champagne and beer. (btw, i'm not a hardcore drinker it was just the holiday season- ya know :o )
new years day i suddenly realized i hadn't had my period in a while. checked the calendar. yup, late! took a pg test and of course positive!
i haven't had my babe yet (due any day) but i asked about it when i went in for my first prenatal visit and again when i had an amnio. at 20 weeks. like someone said above me on here- you aren't really 4 weeks at 4 weeks. our baby was conceived on Dec 10th-ish. ( i think from the dates you've given that's about the same amount of time from conception to drinking that i was at if not less)
nothing at all has shown up in any of my visits/test and all the signs point to a very healthy baby.
besides looking at mothering.com, i'd suggest the friend's dh stay off the internet.
i was on the web constantly when i was first pg. convinced i'd messed up my poor child and also because i hadn't been taking folic acid in anywhere near the amount recommended. and my husband has spina bifida oculta! which at the amnio i was told was not serious and wasn't even really considered s.b. anymore... but i'd convinced myself from cruising the internet that our baby was going to have spina bifida.
people always want to share the worst case scenarios. and the medical industry just FEEDS the paranoia. (i even let myself get talked into the amnio just because i'm 39. i have no family history of problems and i'm very healthy.)
also, i hope this doesn't come across as insensitive, but the friends dh really needs to chill and be supportive. in the event something awful does happen it will be very painful for his wife (and him) to make her peace with it thinking that it was her fault... and it would probably have nothing to do with the drinking.
besides, not to be callous and flippant, but look at anna nicole smith's baby. we don't know the ins and outs but i'm sure the tabloids would be all over it if she were brain damaged. and her mom was a MESS. i'm certainly not advocating becoming a druggy/alcoholic or not taking care of one's health and the unborn child's. just keeping some perspective.

[Ironica]

Ok, I actually know a guy with FAS. Well, really, I know his brother, who is the oldest; he's one of my best friends. They have a younger brother, too.

Oldest and youngest are... well, ok, so "normal" would be misleading ;-) but other than being interesting people, are totally neurotypical. Bright, happy, healthy. Only the middle child has FAS. I don't think you could call it mild... he didn't develop the ability to sense pain until he was 10 years old, for example. Has "the look" too.

Mom didn't quit drinking until well after the birth of her last child. Not sure when she quit the other drugs, or if she smoked during pregnancy (she quit smoking after her oldest was already an adult). So they all had similar exposures most likely, and only one got messed up... and he's a totally functional person. Has a real gift for matching actors and movies, and remembering the entire TV schedule, too. ;-) Works with his dad (who is a property master in the entertainment industry) and has a strange, but well-developed, sense of humor. Pretty cool guy. Not someone I wanted to hang out with when I was a shallow teenager, but turned out ok.

So, you can be a heavy habitual user, and still have perfectly neurotypical kids. You can *also* have a kid with FAS, but not have it be a nightmare. That's the upshot!

[hipmummy]

I conceived Ds around Christmas. So I had been drinking three or more drinks fir many nights. I never drink at all. But the holidays were there etc. I kind of thought I might be pg so on New years eve I skipped the champagne toast. On the 5th the line turned pink. Ds was fine. As long her folic acid intake was adequate I would not worry too much.

[lilsishomemade]

Yeh, I got pretty wasted a few weeks after getting pregnant with my youngest. I also went to the fair and rode on the gravitron. To be honest, I was more concerned with the ride than the drinks (you know, basically being in a centrifuge or something)

[meggles]

Yeah, there's an 18-20 day window before the little thing is getting anything from mama. I wouldn't stress at all.

[Shirada]

Dh is a developmental biologist and he always told me that for the first 2 weeks the baby isn't even attached/implanted, so there's really not much to worry about that early on


:yeah:

[Inspired007]

i celebrated my birthday on christmas eve with many beers and lots of bottles of champagne.
then christmas. the champagne was seriously flowing + raw oysters + very un approved cheeses (and shhh... a little mj.)
then new years- even more champagne and beer. (btw, i'm not a hardcore drinker it was just the holiday season- ya know :o )


Party Animal!!:lol :wink

[mama to 2 girls]

I wouldn't worry too much! :) I had a couple drinks for a couple nights in a row, right before I found out I was p/g with dd2 and she is fine! Some might even say ahead of the game! So, try not to stress! :) Easier said than done I know.

[emo1221]

Not that this is by any means a good example, but i knew a woman who drank substantially her entire pregnancy. and by substantially, i mean, quite a lot. she's an alcoholic, and didn't even realize she was pregnant until her 5th or 6th month because she thought she was too old (47) to conceive, and only noticed because she started to show.

Anyway, her child is developmentally normal in every aspect of regular child development. He's actually quite intelligent. I know this is rare for him not to have some sort of FAS, but i'm pretty sure all she drank was beer her entire pregnancy.

What i'm getting at is the baby's fine. :)

[PixieAlly]

I am so glad you asked this question because I was concerned as well but I think everything will be ok.
Basically the biodad and I "celebrated" A LOT for 3 weeks...and I conceived right in the middle of all that celebrating but didn't know until about 3 weeks later. We got drunk almost every night (on absinthe sometimes!), smoked cigarettes, some drugs and I ate TONS of fish...almost every day...so I probably bumped my mercury levels as well. Actually, that is probably what I am worried about most at this time. Anyone know if I need to worry about all that mercury filled fish I ate for 3 weeks?

Ally