How to ease my worried mind...

[pdxmomazon]

I'm pregnant for the first time and I am scared to death of having a miscarriage. My mom had one with her first pregnancy (she was pretty young, and wasn't married to my dad yet, so it might've been a relief) but she passed away over 10 years ago, so I can't talk to her about it. Anyone else have these fears?

I am trying to remain positive- sending happy thoughts and prayers to the embryo, but every twinge makes my heart skip a beat. How do you deal with this?

[blizzard_babe]

I don't know, but if you figure it out, let me know! I'm turning into a hypochondriac up here, and all the stress CAN'T be good for the bean. I try to send welcoming vibes to the kiddo every night before bed (I repeat "You are wanted, you are loved, you are welcome," kind of like a mantra, while focusing good energies on my uterus and it's contents), but every little twinge, like you said, makes me nervous.

Example (WARNING: example talks about poop. If you find poop talk offensive... skip it): I'm INCREDIBLY constipated. Today, all day long, I kept thinking to myself, "Am I having cramps? Is that a bad thing?" Turns out... nope. Just constipated and uncomfortable because of that. Took a little poo and feel a little better. More time with Mr. Toilet will, I'm sure, improve things further. I've been worried and cranky all day because of it... and "it" was nothing!

I need to relaaaaaaaax.

[rach03]

I'm sorry you are worrying. I am pregnant after a loss, so I too have fears of losing this baby. I just try to enjoy each day as much as possible.

[bluepetals]

I am a worrier too. This is my second and I am worrying just as much as the first time around! And I haven't had a loss, I am just born to worry, I guess.

Each day you will have a little more faith in your pregnancy and your body, at least that's how I find it goes for me. You can just take it a day at a time and eventually the day will be here when you have your baby in arms. And then you can start worrying about a whole other list of scary stuff. Sigh. Motherhood is great!

Now, no-one notice the thread I am about to post about round ligament pain and should I be worried about it :lol

[kristenok18]

I'm in the same boat. This is our second, but it took us 3 years ttc to get here, and I'm terrified it's going to slip away. 3 years of research and getting to know people who are in the same boat and getting to know people who've had such heartbreaking losses has made a very nervous mama this time 'round. I almost wish I didn't know anything, so I could naively enjoy everything because I didn't know all the things that could go wrong!!!

[*Aimee*]

I lost my first baby at 8 weeks. My second baby I was so freaked out that it was an awful experience for me. My pregnancy was not fun and I spent the majority of the time crying over every little twinge. I also bleed (alot) twice in my second trimester which did not help! I didnt have sex with my husband, I was afraid to poop (that I'd push out the baby on accident), I seriously did just sit around and cry. And my son was fine!

With this pregnancy I promised DH that I'd try harder to keep myself out of that mental state. My faith has really helped me this time around. Also being so busy with DS helps as well. My point is there is nothing you can do at this stage to stop a m/c anyway. Eat healthy, get rest, and relax. Truly enjoy the miracle that your body is creating. And I'm only saying this because it made ME feel better, but I thought if I *do* lose this baby I want his 8 weeks on earth to be beautiful, not stress filled and wrought with tension.

That said, I am getting an early ultrasound to see the heartbeat, because that does put me at ease, but just try to relax, be kind to yourself mama!

[christinespurlock]

I lost my first baby at 8 weeks. My second baby I was so freaked out that it was an awful experience for me. My pregnancy was not fun and I spent the majority of the time crying over every little twinge. I also bleed (alot) twice in my second trimester which did not help! I didnt have sex with my husband, I was afraid to poop (that I'd push out the baby on accident), I seriously did just sit around and cry. And my son was fine!

With this pregnancy I promised DH that I'd try harder to keep myself out of that mental state. My faith has really helped me this time around. Also being so busy with DS helps as well. My point is there is nothing you can do at this stage to stop a m/c anyway. Eat healthy, get rest, and relax. Truly enjoy the miracle that your body is creating. And I'm only saying this because it made ME feel better, but I thought if I *do* lose this baby I want his 8 weeks on earth to be beautiful, not stress filled and wrought with tension.

That said, I am getting an early ultrasound to see the heartbeat, because that does put me at ease, but just try to relax, be kind to yourself mama!


I loved what you had to say. I do have to remember this is out of my hands.

I had a six week u/s today. I cried and cried. I got to see and hear his/her little heart. I think mine stopped for a second.

[thismama]

I get anxious about miscarriage too. Less this time than last time, although I know it is just as real a risk. I wait and watch for symptoms, I analyze them (or their absence), I count how many weeks til I can stop worrying. :shrug

I just try to distract myself. I started school yesterday, and I actually forgot I was pregnant for awhile! That was nice, but then when I remembered I felt guilty.

I also feel kind of like, well what is meant to be is meant to be. But, I really hope this is meant to be! Coz damn it was hard work getting pregnant.

I'm getting an early ultrasound too, next week. Can't wait!

[Shanana]

I lost a baby before having my dd, and my first trimester with dd was so hard. I think I checked for blood every single time I went to the bathroom. One day all of my pg symptoms (m/s, fatigue, etc.) completely disappeared. I freaked out. The same day I found out the previous pg was not viable, all of my symptoms totally went away too. So I was so afraid I was going to lose my dd too. But the next day everything was back with full force, and you can see pictures of her in my siggy -- happy and healthy :lol.

I don't think there really is a magic way to get over your fears. The risk of m/c is very real and it is sadly quite common. Life is what it is, and we have no control over things. The thing I try to practice day in and day out is surrender. But it is a practice, and something that is often easier said than done. I've been working on it pretty hard for the last two years (dd's birth led me down an incredible path of healing), so I do mostly feel a sense of peace this time around, and am not as worried as before. It is what it is. But it's taken a lot of time, and a lot of hard work to get to where I'm at, and I certainly don't feel that way all the time :lol. It's also made easier by the fact that we don't seem to have any trouble getting pg. I'm sure I would be much more fearful if we had been battling fertility issues.

I just try as best I can to enjoy each day, and take them a day at a time. I really like what Aimee said: "but I thought if I *do* lose this baby I want his 8 weeks on earth to be beautiful, not stress filled and wrought with tension."

[christinespurlock]

Oh and I wanted to add this..

We take our vitamines, eat clean organic food and generally take care of ourselves and still we sometimes the baby still leaves.

And (I know this is going to sound insensitive) crack mamas often give birth to live babies...

That is something I sometimes remind myself of to really 'get' that this is out of my hands. Sounds crazy, but I find it comforting.

[pdxmomazon]

. I think I checked for blood every single time I went to the bathroom.

that's me! and (KINDA EXPLICIT) every time i have a little discharge, i get nervous. if i'm out, i start looking for a bathroom!

I just try as best I can to enjoy each day, and take them a day at a time. I really like what Aimee said: "but I thought if I *do* lose this baby I want his 8 weeks on earth to be beautiful, not stress filled and wrought with tension."

i like this a lot. new mantra :)