View Full Version : I'm a Mess and the doc insists on meds!




mommybytheWord
10-09-2007, 07:03 AM
I have always stuggled with anxiety and when I was younger I took Zoloft for years. It almost took it away. I even took it through my first pregnancy. But than a few years ago I did a ton of research on the meds and found some really BAD info. So I stopped them 5yrs ago and have not looked back.

Life most days is really tough and since my dads suicied this summer I have been over the top. At times I cannot even care for my childern. I am terrified about postpartum depression again and I fear that if I do not take them than I will lose it. I'm really scarred. My doc has been wanting me to take the meds again for years and he sees my declining health. I want to start them now and he says it is just fine that the benifits way out way the risks. I tried many meds years ago and even the natural one and Zoloft was the only one that worked.


I hate the thought of thoes drugs and the thought of the baby getting them but I am so afraid that if I don't there will be a very bad outcome.


Any advice?




Aeress
10-09-2007, 07:08 AM
not in your ddc, but I was on zoloft for ppd after my first. With my second I began taking it in the last month or so before I gave birth. I don't know if it really helped me through the hard part after birth but i didn't develop ppd and slowly weaned off it after a few months.

Given all you are going through, it might be beneficial to start something now, so you don't get really bad.

*hugs*

monocyte
10-09-2007, 07:32 AM
:hugs

Sometimes you just have to really weigh the risks and benefits. You've been handed alot lately, and it really might be in your and your kids and your unborn kid to take the meds. I don't think med's make you a bad person or less of a person. Please think about it...you really seem to be reaching out.

Would it make you feel better to see a psychiatrist? Someone that might have a bit more knowledge about the drugs and pregnancy? Not that your OB can't do it, but, there might be a better drug out there for you.

Isaac'sMa
10-09-2007, 07:38 AM
Wow. That's a tough spot to be in. If you are really worried about PPD, I would start taking proactive steps now nutritionally and see how you do. It seems like it might not be a bad idea to go on the meds temporarily and then wean yourself off 6-8 months post-partum. In the meantime maybe you could start researching anti-depressants so that if you decide the best choice is to get on one, you can find the one with the least side effects and one that you are most comfortable taking.

I have a friend with a beautiful 7 month old DD who has struggled with life-long depression/anxiety and stayed on A/Ds her whole pregnancy and is still on them now while nursing.

p.s. Have you tried talk therapy? I'm guessing you have since this has been an ongoing issue in your life (obviously complicated by recent events).

xelakann
10-09-2007, 11:02 AM
Hugs!

I too tend to have a lot of anxiety... when it was at it's worst I did get on some meds... it really helped me deal with my issues and then wean off them after just a few months.

Since then I have discovered acupuncture. It really, really helps me. As my due date approaches and my hormones rev up, I tend to get really worked up... after an acupuncture appointment I feel "normal" again (normal for me).

And not to sound too new age-y but mediation has helped a bit too.

However, you might try the meds to get handle on things, then look at the alternatives when you are feeling better.

welldone
10-09-2007, 11:48 AM
I suffered from severe anxiety during my first pregnancy, and I had to make the difficult choice to take medication in my third trimester. So I've been there, and I understand how difficult this is.

First off, you have to make the informed choice that's best for all of your children, born and unborn. Whether or not you choose medication is not as important as feeling completely informed so that you can make the best decision for your family. After that, don't look back.

Second, if you're interested in trying more nutritional remedies before trying medication, the PPD forum here at MDC can really help. I've personally found daily cod liver oil to be extremely important in avoiding medication during my second and third pregnancies.

Hugs and prayers for you!

Da WIC Lady
10-09-2007, 12:00 PM
I'm on a combo of Seroquel and Celexa. Last pregnancy it was seroquel and serzone. Hormones do bad things to my brain chemistry and I get suicidal within the first 6 weeks, so it's not an option for me in pregnancy to forgo drugs. I get major anxiety which feeds into depression, which feeds the anxiety... you see where this is going. If you need meds, go for it. If you think it would be nice, but not really necessary, then that's fine too.

Anna

Curlita
10-09-2007, 12:10 PM
I have anxiety and depression and I am on the maximum dose of Zoloft (200 mg) and have been all through this pregnancy. I was on Zoloft all through my last pregnancy as well. Being on Zoloft has given me my life back. I remember my life pre-Zoloft -- the depression was bad enough and the panic attacks were debilitating. I was very relieved when my doc told me that I did not have to stop taking it while pregnant.

I talked to my midwives about the risk factors, more to be informed than anything else, because for me, the risks would have to be EXTREME to consider giving up my meds. The stated risks are postpartum withdrawal, which I did not notice with Dylan and which my midwives have told me they have not actually witnessed or heard mentioned by any of the pediatricians they work with. The other risk is an increase of the chances of persistent pulmonary hypertension, the effects of which range from mild to serious. The normal risk of this is .2%, so the elevated risk for those on SSRIs is 1.2%. Again, my midwives told me that they have never actually witnessed this in one of their patients, and they tend to be liberal in their approach to SSRIs in general. And of course, this is based on only a few studies.

Overall, these are odds that I can easily live with. Particularly since there is also documentation of ill effects of untreated depression on babies in utero.

You know how you feel without meds, and you know that Zoloft has helped you in the past. You are dealing with a lot of grief right now, in addition to everything else. Give yourself a break. You need to be able to take care of yourself, and your children -- both the born and unborn. You don't need to tough it out.

Take care of yourself. :hug

kgrfcharlton
10-09-2007, 12:15 PM
I've been on & off Zoloft since '02. I would wean off during pregnancy & start up at some point afterward. I have not been able to wean off this pregnancy. I know how you feel. I have to weigh the loosing it my kids or taking the drugs. I worry about the long term effects for my baby, but I really don't know what else to do.

I tried reading The Mood Cure by Julia Ross (someone on MDC suggested), & taking the supplements. I didn't feel it worked for me that much, but it obviously does for some.

Hang in there. You're not alone!

Kontessa
10-09-2007, 12:26 PM
((((((((hugs))))))))

To me it does not sound like you have much time to try things. If you can already say that there are times you can not take care of your kids, I think you are right needing meds you know will work. This might also come from my own fears of PPD. I am doing well enough though that I think I can battle with other things before thinking about medication. The moment PPD hits though as I can not afford to "wait" to find something, I will be on meds as well at least till Hubby gets home to help. All this is to say, I understand the worry.

I am sorry you are in such a spot hun. Not fun.

GinaRae
10-09-2007, 12:29 PM
I am pretty anti meds for the most part, but after dealing with this terrible anxiety during the pregnancy I get an inkling of how you might feel. I generally have anxiety, but pregnancy makes it that much worse. If you feel you cannot care for the kids and/or may have crushing PPD, you need to address that quickly.

I have also heard the stories of ladies here in the DDC and feel at this point in the pregnancy Zoloft would benefit you and the baby. I would give it a try now to get it all under control.

Then later, when feeling better, you could try some more natural things like nutrition, herbs, exercise, accupuncture, yada yada, and wean off the Zoloft.

maisiedotes
10-09-2007, 02:38 PM
Sometimes you just have to really weigh the risks and benefits.

This is what my midwife said last time. The effects of depression may be worse than the effects of the antidepressant. I was on prozac for years and didn't even realize how much it helped me till I went off it and went off the deep end. :hug I hope it all works out.

GearGirl
10-09-2007, 05:06 PM
If it were me I would go on Zoloft. It really sounds like you are suffering, and it would be best for you and your children. Good luck, and I hope you find some relief soon.

Googy
10-09-2007, 09:02 PM
ITA about the whole weighing the benefits and costs thing. No one wants to take meds when pregnant, and yes, there are possible side effects of meds on the baby. However, if you are at risk for not being able to take care of yourself and/or your children, or harming yourself and/or your children in any way (emotionally, physically, or otherwise), then to me the possible risks of the meds are completely outweighed.

melissakc
10-09-2007, 09:06 PM
If it were me I would go on Zoloft. It really sounds like you are suffering, and it would be best for you and your children. Good luck, and I hope you find some relief soon.

ITA. If you are already struggling to care for your children, adding the demands of a newborn is going to add more stress. I wish I had gotten help for my PPD last time. I suffered a lot, and so needlessly. This time if I have signs I am going immediately for help. I hope you will too!

Kontessa
10-09-2007, 09:08 PM
ITA about the whole weighing the benefits and costs thing. No one wants to take meds when pregnant, and yes, there are possible side effects of meds on the baby. However, if you are at risk for not being able to take care of yourself and/or your children, or harming yourself and/or your children in any way (emotionally, physically, or otherwise), then to me the possible risks of the meds are completely outweighed.

I really value Googys thoughts on this, specialy the harming children emotionally part. I worry about a pregnant mama I know who has her hands full with kids and the oldest two are bi-polar, the boy is violent even to her. I saw her just about snap this week on them. I wish I could help her. If she told me she needed meds for herself I would not blame her one little bit as a person can only do so much and her kids need her to be ok before emotional damage is done by mama or the older brother!

Kontessa
10-09-2007, 09:10 PM
Oh, and I got on Kellymom.com today and saw that Zoloft is the safest when pregnant and breastfeeding so thats my plan if it comes down to it. Right now though, I really am ok! Doing well even. Overwhelmed but well. Yay me. Good to say that for a change. Begining of the pregnancy they had me on prozac! :duck:

Things change, I hope they do for you too!

isosmom
10-09-2007, 09:10 PM
Having had terrible ppd with ds and not doing anything about it, looking back, I really really wish I had gotten help, even if it had meant meds, and I am really anti-meds. Of course only you can know what the right choice is for yourself and your kids.

GinaRae
10-09-2007, 10:05 PM
I worry about a pregnant mama I know who has her hands full with kids and the oldest two are bi-polar, the boy is violent even to her.

Off topic, but most bipolar children are more violent towards their mother than anyone else. It's because mom is their safe spot, so-to-speak, even if that seems weird. Mom is who their brains say it's safe to unload on, but unfortunately that can be with force. Sometimes they can't control rages and a mom can be kicked, hit, etc.

It's very hard to keep your cool, especially when pregnant, with ONE bp child, let alone two!! Moms of bp kids live in sort of a PTSD loop that's very stressful and hard to overcome. You're always on guard.

I know because my 12 year old is diagnosed bipolar, so I have experience as well as lots of reading up on the subject behind me.

mom0810
10-10-2007, 08:11 AM
I think you would be very smart to go on the zoloft now. Start at the lowest dose--25 mg-- and see if that does anything. then, if you need to, you can slowly titrate up after the baby is here.

I nursed ds on zoloft and he is wonderful, smart, ahead on all of his milestones, and just perfect. My cousin nursed her 2 lb. preemie on 75 mg of zoloft, and he is ahead as well, and so smart and perfect. And they told her that since he was born at 28 weeks that he wouldn't ever walk!! So that is wonderful, and I hope it reassures you.

Zoloft is very very safe in pregnancy and nursing. Depression and anxiety are not. Those will affect the baby much more than the meds. And by starting them now, you will be protecting yourself a little bit from the possibility of PPD.

Hugs to you. I struggled with the choice of meds or not, and I was very anti meds. But I have to tell you, they have made it possible for me to succeed in therapy, and they have given my son a happy mommy who is not sad and worried all the time.

mommybytheWord
10-10-2007, 01:27 PM
:dizzy:

mommybytheWord
10-11-2007, 01:46 PM
Wow! Thank you for all the support. My DH thinks it is worth the try but my mother is against any Mental meds. She makes me feel like a faliure if I give them a try.

Now I am soooooo worried that because of all the anxiety and depression my baby will be affected. Man, I should have tried them earlier. I hope I haven't messed her up. Poor, baby.


I am scarred that the side effects will be to hard for me to handle. I only remember mild diarreh before.

I really, really do not want to NEED them but I want to live life again. I miss not being anxious and depressed. Life just seems to pass me by.


I thought for years that the sickness I have been feeling for 5yrs,

Dizzy
Head Fullness
Ear fullness
Muscle bruning
Muscle fatigue
Vision problems
Depth preception issues

and tons more

were causing me to be anxious and depressed but my Doc INSISTS that it is due to the anxiety and depression and it will fade away after the meds.

melissakc
10-11-2007, 01:49 PM
My DH thinks it is worth the try but my mother is against any Mental meds. She makes me feel like a faliure if I give them a try.

I'm glad your DH is supportive. It's so sad that your mom is not. She must not be able to understand how serious the issue is. Try not to let her lack of experience or knowledge stand in your way. You are not a failure for taking medication for a medical problem!

mama_b
10-11-2007, 02:02 PM
Wow! Thank you for all the support. My DH thinks it is worth the try but my mother is against any Mental meds. She makes me feel like a faliure if I give them a try.

Now I am soooooo worried that because of all the anxiety and depression my baby will be affected. Man, I should have tried them earlier. I hope I haven't messed her up. Poor, baby.


I am scarred that the side effects will be to hard for me to handle. I only remember mild diarreh before.

I really, really do not want to NEED them but I want to live life again. I miss not being anxious and depressed. Life just seems to pass me by.


I thought for years that the sickness I have been feeling for 5yrs,

Dizzy
Head Fullness
Ear fullness
Muscle bruning
Muscle fatigue
Vision problems
Depth preception issues

and tons more

were causing me to be anxious and depressed but my Doc INSISTS that it is due to the anxiety and depression and it will fade away after the meds.

I had all those symptoms with my anxiety. I thought there was something physically wrong with me, but it really was just anxiety. As for the Zoloft, you won't be a failure if you need to take it. I personally am very anti-med (for myself), but I was at a point where I was staying with family because I couldn't take care of my dd by myself. I had to take the Zoloft until I could find something else. I'm really glad I did because it did help. I am now off the Zoloft, but if I needed it to be able to take care of my dd I wouldn't hesitate to take it again. As for pregnancy, no meds are really good for a fetus, but there are many women who take anti-depressants throughout pregnancy and their babies are just fine. I was taking Zoloft myself until I was about 10 weeks pregnant. I think you should take it if you think it'll help you. :hug

GinaRae
10-11-2007, 02:35 PM
To heck with your mom. Mine told my husband she is disappointed in me and feels she coddled me too much and made me weak. P'shaw. Others tell me how strong I am.

I thought for years that the sickness I have been feeling for 5yrs,

Dizzy
Head Fullness
Ear fullness
Muscle bruning
Muscle fatigue
Vision problems
Depth preception issues

and tons more

were causing me to be anxious and depressed but my Doc INSISTS that it is due to the anxiety and depression and it will fade away after the meds.

I have gone thru all that and more over the past 4-5 years. Once I got a handle on things, wrapped my mind around a fibromyalgia diagnosis, accepted treatment for the issues and for hormonal imbalance from my acupuncturist, changed my diet, started receiving stressful things differently, realized I have major anxiety issues, etc, I am feeling SO MUCH BETTER.

If Zoloft will help you get there, just do it. Then you can begin working on the more holistic things and getting your mind wrapped around everything.

mom0810
10-11-2007, 04:45 PM
You know, in another generation, people never admitted this stuff and just lived with it. How sad. Your mother comes from a different generation who did not admit to any kind of feelings, depression or otherwise. My mom was the same. Very anti meds. then, when she saw what they did for me, she changed her mind.

You know, housewives in the 60's took Valium regularly, or drank to deal with depression. Personally, I think it's much better to take something that actually helps the problem, like an ssri.

Don't worry about any adverse effects on the baby from your anxiety. When you know better, you do better, you know? I think start the meds and you will see a huge improvement and things will be so much better. You will also be better able to shrug off any criticism from your mom or anyone else once you start them and get to feeling better.

You are a wonderful mommy already just for wanting the best for your little one. And getting help and meds is the right way to get there.

Best,

Curlita
10-11-2007, 05:25 PM
No one wants to need medication to feel okay.

I REALLY struggled with the decision to go on meds, and a few friends were not supportive because of their suspicion of the medical establishment. My husband was very supportive, but I was resistant to the idea for a long time. I felt like I should be able to be "normal" without meds, and that going on the meds meant that I wasn't normal. I didn't want to admit defeat by choosing meds. I thought that I was depressed because I had a lot of reasons to feel depressed (mostly physical symptoms and chronic pain -- which have improved or gone away since being on the meds).

Two things made up my mind. One was talking to a friend with depression and anxiety who has been on meds for 7 years. She was so open and hopeful about her experience that it made me believe that meds could really help.

The second was seeing a billboard that said, "The leading cause of suicide is untreated depression," and my first thought was, yeah, that's obvious! And then I realized that although my family acknowledges the fact that my grandfather committed suicide, no one ever acknowledges that it must have been because he was depressed. And depression runs in families. That made the potential seriousness of my condition very real to me.

Your mom might be coping with her own baggage surrounding your father's death that makes it hard to admit that you are depressed. You deserve to feel better than you do. :hug

Da WIC Lady
10-11-2007, 07:46 PM
My DH is so supportive of me being on meds that he told me after I got back on them that if I hadn't he was going to divorce me because it was that bad. I was on meds when we met, all through DD's pregnancy and then off of them after I had her. When I got pregnant again, it took about 6 weeks or so before I had medicaid and could get an appointment and get back on the meds. Heck, I didn't want to be around me, so I don't blame him. :lol I'm just glad I was able to get in with the same doc I was with before. He understands that when I say I need meds, I need something NOW, and that when I say I'm fine, that while things might not be the best, meds aren't my only option for coping. He also understands that I know my body and what my limits are and listens to me. I just need to get in to see him sometime before the baby is born and his new office is wierd about answering the phone.

Anna