When are you going to tell?

[eatorganic]

Hi, I am a little over 5 weeks preggo and am wondering when to tell everyone. I have told close friends and family, but I am already starting to show... How long are you going to wait before telling everyone???

[anonymousk]

I'm a terrible liar and we were going through fertility treatment for awhile so most of our close people knew before I was even 4 weeks. I'm not showing physically but my face gives everything away so I didn't even have a chance. Our family situation is not so great so they will all find out at Thanksgiving, assuming that no one blabs to them before then.

I was a little hesitant about telling most people before the 2nd trimester, but we've been really open about our infertility so that doesn't really work out for us. Maybe I'm a little fatalistic, but tragedy can happen anytime (and has, to some of our friends) so we'll just take our chances.

[ekblad9]

Once we tell the kids it's all over. They tell everyone. We haven't told them yet, though. I think I'll tell them Thursday when our family celebrates All Saints Day. But I may wait until I'm further along. I just don't want them to overhear me talking to my mom or something and learn about it that way. We'll see......

[quarteralien]

How long are you going to wait before telling everyone???

Forever. :lol Seriously, I'd love to just call my family (who all live across the country) and say "I had a baby last night." But that wont' go over well. I'll probably tell at around 13 weeks.

[DandeCobb]

i tell my family right off the bat. and anonymous internet friends :wink i didn't last time tell my work till 12 weeks, this time i'll try to wait that long as well.

[prothyraia]

We've already told a ton of people. I can't keep this sort of excitement to myself, hah!

[mchalehm]

We will probably tell my brother- and sister-in-law (who are our closest friends) and everyone else will find out at Christmas. Unless I am big as a house by then, which is a distinct possibility. (I also have really bad morning sickness if my last pregnancy is any indicator so I may have to tell a couple of co-workers so that they can cover me if need be.)

[yamilee21]

Forever. :lol Seriously, I'd love to just call my family (who all live across the country) and say "I had a baby last night."

This is my plan. Well, that, and avoiding my family as much as possible since they don't live across the country. ;)

[quarteralien]

This is my plan. Well, that, and avoiding my family as much as possible since they don't live across the country. ;)

Are you having a UC or some other controversial option? that's the main reason I want to wait, less grief from people over wanting homebirth/UC.

[mama to 2 girls]

I am going to wait as long as possible! My mom will probably be the next to know because she is my babysitter....so she'll have to know a couple days before my first appt. at probably around 10-11 weeks....the rest of the family will know when they start noticing my belly! :)

[yamilee21]

Are you having a UC or some other controversial option?

Worse... I'm having a VBAC! We're surrounded by uninformed people who have great faith in c-sections and OBs who would probably try to have us committed if they knew we were planning a homebirth with a midwife. I would love to go unassisted, but my poor husband could not handle that - although I don't see why not, since some random woman gave birth in his car twenty years ago; so he's seen UC.

[christinespurlock]

I was thinking today it will still be winter when I start showing an maybe my coat will come in handy to hide my belly.

[eatorganic]

I am just so excited, I want to tell everyone. Plus I already look like I have gained 5 lbs so I would like everyone to know I am preggo!!!

[Stayathomemommy]

I am usually the type to call and tell the whole world the second i pee on the stick. but every time i say that NExt time i am going to keep it to myself and just soke it up. well the excitement oozes out and i cant help it. i called people who live far away and do not live close to family. basically people who cant tell anyone else!! Its extra hard because my parents live in our town for the winter and they just got here and i have to keep it hidden but i am feeling so sick its hard to hide. she probably already knows and is waiting for me to tell her myself. I want to get t shirts made and do a big productions to tell my folks and the kids. i better do it soon or they will find out on their own!

as for in laws and others who are going to react badley to us haveing a 5th child, i dont care if they find out when we have the baby!!! But thats really mean and would only foster more separation between us so i will probably tell them at christmas with cute little presents from the baby or something cheesy like that.

[MySunflowerBoys]

I'd like to wait until 12-13 wks along to tell my inlaws, but I doubt we will last that long. They were less than supportive last time & in fact I think they think we "came to our senses" and decided we were done.

My sister is traveling from several states away to spend Thanksgiving with my parents, so all my family will be together there this year. I will probably tell them then, so I can tell them in person. This time I am going to tell them not to spread the news like they did last time. They would really like us to have another child, so they tend to get pretty happy about pg news.

I'm sure once my family knows, dh will want his family to know. :irked:

[mamatosaskia]

I'd like to wait until 12-13 wks along to tell my inlaws, but I doubt we will last that long. They were less than supportive last time & in fact I think they think we "came to our senses" and decided we were done.



This is my exact situation, so we always joke how we will tell them two months after the baby is born! With dd, they thought it was an oops, in fact, my father-in-law still talks about her as if she were an accident. We were already married 5 years by then and she was very much tried for!!

This baby will be four years younger than dd and I am in my second year of my PhD so I know that they will again think that we are insane to have a baby. They are coming out for Christmas and unless I have a noticeable belly by then, we are not going to tell them until after the new year.

j

[mchalehm]

This baby will be four years younger than dd and I am in my second year of my PhD so I know that they will again think that we are insane to have a baby. They are coming out for Christmas and unless I have a noticeable belly by then, we are not going to tell them until after the new year.

j

What's your Ph.D. in? I'm in the final year of my Ph.D. and I think grad school is a fabulous time to have a baby.

[ekblad9]

I am usually the type to call and tell the whole world the second i pee on the stick. but every time i say that NExt time i am going to keep it to myself and just soke it up. well the excitement oozes out and i cant help it. i called people who live far away and do not live close to family. basically people who cant tell anyone else!! Its extra hard because my parents live in our town for the winter and they just got here and i have to keep it hidden but i am feeling so sick its hard to hide. she probably already knows and is waiting for me to tell her myself. I want to get t shirts made and do a big productions to tell my folks and the kids. i better do it soon or they will find out on their own!

as for in laws and others who are going to react badley to us haveing a 5th child, i dont care if they find out when we have the baby!!! But thats really mean and would only foster more separation between us so i will probably tell them at christmas with cute little presents from the baby or something cheesy like that.

I always think I'll "keep quiet" *next time* but I just can't. I shout it to everyone, even strangers. I guess it helps to make it more real.

My MIL thought we'd really lost it when we had our third. By our sixth my dh wouldn't tell her and I had to. Can't remember how she found out about our seventh but I am so not telling her about number eight! She will FLIP out! She doesn't visit us anyway and says we have too many kids to visit her so really, she could never know, :lol

[MySunflowerBoys]

we always joke how we will tell them two months after the baby is born!

Ha ha! My husband works with my MIL, FIL and BIL so it is impossible for them not to know. Plus the company gives medical reimburssment, so they will know when we start submitting bills from the clinic.

They absolutely assumed the loss we had in May was an "oopsie" baby, but we had been charting and ttcing since January. When we told them we were expecting the last time, my FIL rolled his eyes at us and MIL siad "how in the world are you going to keep up with 3 babies?" I was like, Huh? I'm not having triplets! The boys will be 3 and 5 when the baby is born! After the m/s my MIL told me that it was for the best, it would of been too hard for me to have another child.

Can you tell I am seriously dreading this? We love them to death and my sons are crazy about them, but they just don't see this the same way we do. They think that since we have one SN child when shouldn't have anymore children because it will take away from his needs. We think it will only enhance his life, not hurt it. ugh

[Ahimsa]

I am one of those people that has a hard time keeping it to myself. I might try and wait until Thanksgiving to tell my family, but I am sure I'll start telling friends right away. I already told my three year old, so he may be telling people for me.

[4Marmalade]

We haven't really decided yet. I have a friend who is having their third child as well and she said the responses she got were very different than the first two times around. Some people were sincerely happy but others would say stuff like "was it planned?", "are you crazy?", etc... so I think I prefer to keep it a little bit quiet for a while and enjoy it rather than deal with those comments. I will probably tell that same friend so we can share our third pregnancy together. Oh yah...I guess I better tell dh :lol (just kidding).

We may tell some family around Christmas as that will be when I'm about 12 weeks.

[Ahimsa]

I am only 3 1/2 weeks pregnant and I already told. My partner told his mother this morning and she lives up the street from my parents, so I felt I had to go ahead and tell them. I had my 3 1/2 year old son, Kai, call and tell them he was going to have a baby brother or sister. He kept saying baby brother and sister, so that confused them.:lol Then I called my midwife and told her, and called and told a few of my best friends.

[nubianamy]

We won't tell most people until 8-10 weeks, around the holidays. I probably will spill the beans at Thankgiving, though, because everybody knows I LOVE wine, and if I'm not drinking, they'll KNOW why!!

[Mom2Lex&Cay]

I'm so surprised at the reactions others are getting for having 3 children. Wow! I knew smaller families are more common now, but I just never imagined 2 was the "ideal" in the eyes of so many. Like 3 is a herd or something. I could see 5 or more getting that reaction. Maybe even 4. I don't agree with it then either, but it seems to be a common reaction to a large family. I just don't think 3 is that large.

My family/inlaws were a little surprised that we said "that's it" at 2. Little change of heart.:lol It might come as a bit of surprise and I'm sure they'll ask if it was an oops. Won't be a big deal to anyone though. A 4th may be, but I give up on predicting when we will be done. Time will tell.

[nubianamy]

I want to have four. I'm not sure if I'll be "too old" by then or not (I'm 33). My friends online have convinced me that four is not too many! My friend just had her 9th!!

[quarteralien]

I'm so surprised at the reactions others are getting for having 3 children. Wow! I knew smaller families are more common now, but I just never imagined 2 was the "ideal" in the eyes of so many. Like 3 is a herd or something. I could see 5 or more getting that reaction. Maybe even 4. I don't agree with it then either, but it seems to be a common reaction to a large family. I just don't think 3 is that large.

My family/inlaws were a little surprised that we said "that's it" at 2. Little change of heart.:lol It might come as a bit of surprise and I'm sure they'll ask if it was an oops. Won't be a big deal to anyone though. A 4th may be, but I give up on predicting when we will be done. Time will tell.

I get annoyed when people say I have a boy and a girl, and I should be done. :irked: The point isn't to have at least one of each, it's to have a family of the size you think is right for you. Or maybe I'm the only one who thinks that way, I dont' know. Anyway, I know some people will be shocked when I tell them, although I never said we were done with 2.

[Mom2Lex&Cay]

I get annoyed when people say I have a boy and a girl, and I should be done. :irked: The point isn't to have at least one of each, it's to have a family of the size you think is right for you. Or maybe I'm the only one who thinks that way, I dont' know. Anyway, I know some people will be shocked when I tell them, although I never said we were done with 2.


I agree!! It's about so much more than gender or even a number. It's not that I want a boy or another girl. I want the joy of creating and raising another little being that will only serve to enrich our family further. I don't think it's anyone else's place to comment on how many children we choose to have.