Advice on how to ask for reduced hours at work?

[PixieAlly]

Hi, I posted this over in the working moms forum but so far all I've gotten is a link to a site that I have to pay for to use and since this really is pregnancy related, maybe someone here is going through something similar...

I am really really really tired all the time. I have never been this tired for this long in my whole life. I go to bed at 10 or 11 and wake up at 7 but I wake several times a night to pee or for no reason at all. I usually have to spend my entire Saturday catching up on sleep. I feel like I have no time for anything because I'm so tired after work I just lay down or sit around watching TV. And this is all before the baby is born and keeping me up half the night to be fed!

So, I found out I can go to 30 hours a week and still get my paid maternity leave. The problems are:

1. I work in a call center and they only care about numbers. Less hours for me = more people on hold for longer for them which will tick more customers off.

2. I know their argument will be "well if you're tired now before the baby is born, how are you going to work 40 hours a week after it's born?" The thing, I plan on quitting after my maternity leave is up. Of course I can't tell them that so I don't really know how to dodge this question other then saying I want to work 30 hours permanently maybe??

Anyway, I am not sure how to go about this. Any suggestions on the best way to ask for the reduction in hours and good reasons why they should give it to me? I really don't think I can do 40 hours for the next 3 months...I'll die.

Ally

[JennaW]

Could you possibly get a doctors note?

[Peony]

I agree with the note. With DD1 I was working night shifts from 6pm to about 7am, I was getting to a point where I was so exhausted that I would spend my entire drive to work crying. Course the hospital was no help, so I talked to my CNM about how it was affecting everything, blah, blah, and voila a note not to work more then 8 hours shifts, three times a week. I did end up getting the worst 8 hour shift that exists, and a couple weeks later ended up going on maternity leave earlier then I planned, with another note. :wink

[ZoeyZoo]

I feel the same way... so you're nto alone.

It depends on two things: the company and the state. According to the federal law if you've been there for a year they can't fire you over the pregnany but they could make up another reason (like not doing enough work) to fire you. Some states and companies offer better programs but it is up to the state and the company.

I agree with the PP. The safest way to go about it (assuming you have told you work) is to get a doctors note. If you think your work is cool about it, they may allow you to do a reduced schedule (especially if your work has a slower shift they could move you to) or you may be able to telecommute part time if you do non-phone duties like clerical work.

[3cuties]

First, has your thyroid been checked? Tiredness is defitely a symptom of pregnancy, but extreme exhaustion is not. Many careproviders do not know this, but your TSH level should be below 2-3 during pregnancy -- so if it was checked asked for the numbers (many docs just say "it is fine") and if it has been several weeks since it was checked -- get it checked again. An out of wack thyroid is very common during pregnancy.

If you know that you can go down to 30 hours, I would approach the person who is responsible for such a decision with a solid plan and examples of how it worked with other people. Do not associate it with your pregnancy, the reasoning of why is not important. Additionally, if the question comes up about post-pregnancy -- that is inappropriate so I doubt if they will pose the question as you state in your OP.

Finally, get someone on your side -- is their a senior person or a boss who will support you in your quest?

[cubasianchica]

Hi, I posted this over in the working moms forum but so far all I've gotten is a link to a site that I have to pay for to use and since this really is pregnancy related, maybe someone here is going through something similar...

I am really really really tired all the time. I have never been this tired for this long in my whole life. I go to bed at 10 or 11 and wake up at 7 but I wake several times a night to pee or for no reason at all. I usually have to spend my entire Saturday catching up on sleep. I feel like I have no time for anything because I'm so tired after work I just lay down or sit around watching TV. And this is all before the baby is born and keeping me up half the night to be fed!

So, I found out I can go to 30 hours a week and still get my paid maternity leave. The problems are:

1. I work in a call center and they only care about numbers. Less hours for me = more people on hold for longer for them which will tick more customers off.

2. I know their argument will be "well if you're tired now before the baby is born, how are you going to work 40 hours a week after it's born?" The thing, I plan on quitting after my maternity leave is up. Of course I can't tell them that so I don't really know how to dodge this question other then saying I want to work 30 hours permanently maybe??

Anyway, I am not sure how to go about this. Any suggestions on the best way to ask for the reduction in hours and good reasons why they should give it to me? I really don't think I can do 40 hours for the next 3 months...I'll die.

Ally

first let me say I know EXACTLY what you mean. I work in a call center too. I dont think they can use the line "well if you're tired now before the baby is born, how are you going to work 40 hours a week after it's born?" I think its illegal... it violates some sort of rights you have. (i think) They may give you the run around and tell you something about numbers and whatnot. I would suggest asking first and see what they say. The worst that will happen is they say no. If that is the case talk to your dr. Most drs will give an order/ note for a reduced work schedule. Like most empoloyers the cannot guarentee certain days off just number of hours reduced. Mine did that and now they have me coming in on saturdays 8( put all in all it is less hours. all i had to do was ask and my dr wrote me a note

Let me also add that (in my particular case and maybe you too) this is not considered maternity leave. it will be FMLA and the days you dont work are unpaid

[Writerbird]

Please, no flames. My background: I am currently a work-from-home mama-to-be, working for a startup that doesn't offer maternity leave. I will have to be back at my desk with the baby in a sling almost immediately if I want to keep the lights on and the rent paid. Before this, I was a director at a large company with a team of four assistants, one of whom was pregnant at the end of my tenure there. I left that company before my former minion, now my friend, had her baby, and before I got pregnant - but I helped her arrange a schedule that allowed her to work from home two days a week after the baby came.

Taking the maternity leave and then quitting at the end of it is not ethical. Neither in the small picture or the big picture.

Small picture: Maternity leave costs the company money. Companies spend that money because it's an investment in the employee. Whenever someone takes the money, and then does not repay the investment, it is exactly like stealing no matter how one rationalizes it. I include short term disability payments, because one's out of pocket contribution is minimal compared to the payment one's company is making. (At my last company, my contribution was two whole dollars a paycheck, and I'd have gotten 2/3rds of my salary per paycheck!)

Big picture: When someone takes the money, and does not repay the investment, the company is reluctant to extend the same or better benefits to other women lest they be taken advantage of again. Maternity leave comes over time to be seen as a complete loss to the company, and any attempts at agitating for the paid time to be extended is met with "yeah, well, most people don't come back at all, so why let the gravy train keep running?" Also, any attempt to negotiate desperately needed concessions while pregnant are met with resistance, again because the managers think they know that the person doing the negotiating is not going to return.

Small picture: It's dishonest. That's... pretty much it, there.

Big picture: Again, this dishonesty makes it extremely difficult for all the women who must follow in your footsteps, and may not have the option to quit. The guy who owned my last company assumed without even ASKING that my employee (and in the future, me) would not be coming back... because of the sheer volume of women who took their maternity leave and never returned. Right now, my current boss is begging me to just tell him that I'm not coming back, because he is assuming that when I say I am returning, that I'm LYING. I can't blame him! If I come back like I say I am, I'll be the exception, not the rule!

There have been dozens of women in his career alone who rationalized it with "oh, I can't tell them my real plans or I'll lose something." Yeah, great, they got theirs, and screwed everyone else over. Each little lie adds to a great big layer of crap.

Small picture/big picture: If you don't come back to work, you may be required to repay some portion of the maternity leave money. This is something you NEED to check with HR, because I do not know the details. It could be related to the short term disability, it could be the regular leave, it could depend on your state and your company, I have no idea. But I have heard of it happening, and better you know now than after you spent the money.

Final note: The real problem as I see it is a culture with no adequate child care, no proper maternity support, no sensible health care practices, and more. We should all be working to change the system, to get federally mandated leave policies that allow us to take care of our babies (six months, not six weeks). We should be working together to ensure access to quality daycare staffed with well paid professionals. We should be lobbying, petitioning, and voting.

What we should not be doing is lying, stealing, and rationalizing either behavior without a thought to the larger community around us. Not only does it not help, it actively worsens the situation for all other women.

[cubasianchica]

Please, no flames. My background: I am currently a work-from-home mama-to-be, working for a startup that doesn't offer maternity leave. I will have to be back at my desk with the baby in a sling almost immediately if I want to keep the lights on and the rent paid. Before this, I was a director at a large company with a team of four assistants, one of whom was pregnant at the end of my tenure there. I left that company before my former minion, now my friend, had her baby, and before I got pregnant - but I helped her arrange a schedule that allowed her to work from home two days a week after the baby came.

Taking the maternity leave and then quitting at the end of it is not ethical. Neither in the small picture or the big picture.

Small picture: Maternity leave costs the company money. Companies spend that money because it's an investment in the employee. Whenever someone takes the money, and then does not repay the investment, it is exactly like stealing no matter how one rationalizes it. I include short term disability payments, because one's out of pocket contribution is minimal compared to the payment one's company is making. (At my last company, my contribution was two whole dollars a paycheck, and I'd have gotten 2/3rds of my salary per paycheck!)

Big picture: When someone takes the money, and does not repay the investment, the company is reluctant to extend the same or better benefits to other women lest they be taken advantage of again. Maternity leave comes over time to be seen as a complete loss to the company, and any attempts at agitating for the paid time to be extended is met with "yeah, well, most people don't come back at all, so why let the gravy train keep running?" Also, any attempt to negotiate desperately needed concessions while pregnant are met with resistance, again because the managers think they know that the person doing the negotiating is not going to return.

Small picture: It's dishonest. That's... pretty much it, there.

Big picture: Again, this dishonesty makes it extremely difficult for all the women who must follow in your footsteps, and may not have the option to quit. The guy who owned my last company assumed without even ASKING that my employee (and in the future, me) would not be coming back... because of the sheer volume of women who took their maternity leave and never returned. Right now, my current boss is begging me to just tell him that I'm not coming back, because he is assuming that when I say I am returning, that I'm LYING. I can't blame him! If I come back like I say I am, I'll be the exception, not the rule!

There have been dozens of women in his career alone who rationalized it with "oh, I can't tell them my real plans or I'll lose something." Yeah, great, they got theirs, and screwed everyone else over. Each little lie adds to a great big layer of crap.

Small picture/big picture: If you don't come back to work, you may be required to repay some portion of the maternity leave money. This is something you NEED to check with HR, because I do not know the details. It could be related to the short term disability, it could be the regular leave, it could depend on your state and your company, I have no idea. But I have heard of it happening, and better you know now than after you spent the money.

Final note: The real problem as I see it is a culture with no adequate child care, no proper maternity support, no sensible health care practices, and more. We should all be working to change the system, to get federally mandated leave policies that allow us to take care of our babies (six months, not six weeks). We should be working together to ensure access to quality daycare staffed with well paid professionals. We should be lobbying, petitioning, and voting.

What we should not be doing is lying, stealing, and rationalizing either behavior without a thought to the larger community around us. Not only does it not help, it actively worsens the situation for all other women.

im a bit confused with this post.... who is talking about lying and stealing? am i the only one a bit thrown off? maybe its my prego brain but I dont get it

[PixieAlly]

So are you going to pay for my daycare so I can return to work after maternity leave???? Because they do not pay me enough to pay for daycare and rent...or maybe you think I should live in a cardboard box on the street??? Give me a break!

[Writerbird]

No... I think you should be honest that you can't afford to come back to work after the baby is born. You wouldn't be the first or the last due to the DEPLORABLE attitude this "culture" has towards child care and child rearing.

Do you not think your employer and your customers deserve to have someone who is trained to answer the phone? That's what is paying for the maternity leave in the first place. You need to be replaced, both now while you're exhausted and later when the baby is here. Your employer needs a chance to train a replacement, and your customers deserve better than sitting on hold for hours... because your customers might be any one of us sitting here on the board, equally tired and equally pregnant.

I think honesty is best, instead of implying that you will be returning (or dodging the question), and instead of taking money meant to cover a temporary absence, money that would otherwise be repaid by the company retaining your skills and abilities. You need to be cut down to less time for your own health, and that's fair, but your post was asking about how you could do that and still take the maternity leave money.

(And if you'll read my post, you'll see that I am not getting any leave at all, but I'll need to be back at my desk with my baby in a sling immediately in order to keep the bills paid. I don't have the option of quitting at all... let alone day care. I count myself lucky that I CAN work at home, else I would be trapped between a rock and a hard place.)

[PixieAlly]

You really need to take an reality check.

[3cuties]

Writerbird, I do understand your point of view and I am sympathetic. However, the problem is larger than 1 mama -- who ultimately did not create the problem herself.

[lylas]

I did the same thing when I got pregnant with my daughter. I also worked in a call center for customer service of a major cable company......it was nothing but numbers, numbers, numbers and madatory OT everyday. We had to have only 1/2 hour lunches instead of our hour lunches and we had to do at least 7-10 hours mandatory OT per week. It became ridiculous for me (everyone really but especially me) and I had a 2 yr old at home to care for too. I called my OB, told them the situation, and within an hour they faxed over a letter stating that I could only work 40 hours a week....end of story and my company complied. Then when I went on maternity leave, I quit at the end of it. I figured, I had put 6 years of me into that job....countless hours of OT, sold massive amounts of products for them, gave up holidays and weekends to come in for them, worked 10-12 hour days sometimes to help out during extremely busy times....I didn't feel the least bit sorry for "taking" the maternity leave money I had paid for thru my insurance all those years anyway. Do what you got to do, ya know? Nobody knows your financial situation but you. Good luck!!!!

[PixieAlly]

No... I think you should be honest that you can't afford to come back to work after the baby is born. You wouldn't be the first or the last due to the DEPLORABLE attitude this "culture" has towards child care and child rearing.

Do you not think your employer and your customers deserve to have someone who is trained to answer the phone?

You mean the customers that call me up every day yelling at me and telling me I suck? No, I do not think most of them deserve to have someone answer the phone. And are you referring to the employer who forces me to ask female applicants of they have any male reproductive disorders, 63 year old women if they're pregnant, and mother's of 1 year olds if their child has used marijuana in the last 5 years? Then no again, I don't think they do either.

That's what is paying for the maternity leave in the first place. You need to be replaced, both now while you're exhausted and later when the baby is here. Your employer needs a chance to train a replacement,

Riiiiiiiiiiight...so they can train the replacement now and fire me in a few weeks so I am totally screwed financially, huh? And before you say they can't fire me I am sure they can find something to fire me for and I am not exactly in a position to go out and hire a lawyer to sue them for making up a reason to fire me.

and your customers deserve better than sitting on hold for hours... because your customers might be any one of us sitting here on the board, equally tired and equally pregnant.

None of the people I talk to are pregnant because we are not allowed to insure pregnant women. Of course the person on hold might be some pregnant woman calling me to yell at me and tell me I suck because I won't give her insurance...as if it's my choice. I think those people should be put on eternal hold.

I think honesty is best, instead of implying that you will be returning (or dodging the question), and instead of taking money meant to cover a temporary absence, money that would otherwise be repaid by the company retaining your skills and abilities. You need to be cut down to less time for your own health, and that's fair, but your post was asking about how you could do that and still take the maternity leave money.

(And if you'll read my post, you'll see that I am not getting any leave at all, but I'll need to be back at my desk with my baby in a sling immediately in order to keep the bills paid. I don't have the option of quitting at all... let alone day care. I count myself lucky that I CAN work at home, else I would be trapped between a rock and a hard place.)

Yeah well to me it would be HEAVEN if I had a job I could take my baby to and carry around in a sling. I tried proposing that to my current employer and they looked at me as if I had asked to bring a nuclear bomb to work.

[hyz]

I'm surprised the employers haven't dealt with this already. In my job, you have to be working here a year before you can take paid parental leave. If you quit within 3 (or 6, I can't remember for sure) months of the end of your parental leave, you are required to PAY BACK the money you got while on leave. Also, if you return at a lower percentage time than you were before you took the leave (i.e. when you come back you don't want to be full time anymore, just 60% or something), you have to pay back the difference between the full time checks you were receiving while on leave and the amount of your checks when you return. Maternity leave is not a severance package--it is a benefit to employees to enable them to live comfortably until they are able to return to their jobs.

I understand Writerbird's points, especially about quitting after maternity leave making it tougher for all the mothers that come after you. At my job, if they even allowed it, it would definitely be considered dishonest, and you could forget about any kind of good recommendation in the future. Then again, I guess if you don't have a choice, you don't have a choice.

ETA: also, if you're employer is truly awful, I wouldn't mind giving them this parting shot, either. I don't think it's unethical towards them, in that case, because they haven't shown any real consideration to you. It just sucks that this sort of thing might make it even harder for future mothers working there.

[Sunshine4004]

I just need to say that I would love to quit my job after maternity leave. If we didn't need my income I would be thrilled to quit my job and not look back. I am a management employee in human resources and I would feel no blame to any mom who makes this choice.

[MeepyCat]

PixieAlly, whatever you take away from Writerbird's post (and she has a lot of good points, although I understand why they frustrate you), take this:

If you do not return after your maternity leave, you may be obligated to pay your employer back for pay or benefits (or both) received during that leave time. That's potentially thousands of dollars that you don't have now and won't have then. FMLA does not require employers to extend benefits (like health insurance) during leaves for employees who ultimately do not return to work.

Do not be dishonest with your employer about your intention to return in ways that could cost you money.

It is really hard to be concerned about treating an employer ethically if you don't receive ethical consideration from them in return. My aunt is in HR, and I will tell you what she told me: people's plans change. Some people genuinely don't know, until they see their children for the first time, that they can't go back to work.

Get a copy of your company's benefits policy and read it. Read it very carefully. Then figure out what you can do about reduced hours and benefits and leave and quitting.

[JennaW]

Winterbird,

I really do see where you are coming from but what you are talking about will take years if not decades. I see it like the argument about donating food to countries with starving people. Yes, there is enough food in the world to feed everyone and the problems of hunger aren't really about a lack of food but more about a lack of transportation, education and stable governments. But those sorts of problems don't get fixed over night and in the mean time, there are hungry people that need food now. Does providing the food enable the roots of the problem to be weakened? Yes but the other option is to let people starve to prove our point, not really the best solution IMO. The OP does not have the resources to make herself an example of the bigger problem, she needs a more immediate solution. Again, I agree with your points but most people do not have work from home opportunities and ultimately that Mama has a responsibility to her baby. So yes, our maternity policy in our country needs to change but until it does, mamas got to do what they got to do.

And Pixie, I agree with others. You NEED to check out the policies at your work, being without maternity leave sucks but having to pay back thousands of dollars in maternity leave would suck even more, to put it bluntly.

[crazydiamond]

I've worked for several call centers and completely understand how ruthless they can be.

Take the FMLA on an intermittent basis.

I don't know about your call center, but the ones I've worked for employed thousands of employees. There was no loss to just "me" being gone. Really. . .with attrition at 50%, it was a constant revolving door. I truly would not be missed during my leave, or if I decided not to return.

I think it's best to discuss the maternity leave situation with HR first, though. Understand your options. Ask if you have to repay some of your benefits (like insurance premiums) if you choose to use COBRA for a while. Find out if you can use your paid leave for maternity leave before leaving.

I would not intentionally go out and do something unethical, but I wouldn't bend over backwards for them either. I'd do what I had to do without having to repay thousands of dollars and I'd leave in the best of graces as I could. But in the end, at least where I've worked, I was nothing but a number and nobody cared about me in the least.