So we're now officially in the "6 month wait" to get our KD's sperm out of quarantine. :love

I want to be as ready as I can be for this. I also want to have something productive to focus on, instead of spending half a year going "why don't I have my baby yet?" :nut (And it's bad. I was sitting in church XMas eve thinking "Next Christmas, I'll be pregnant. I wish it was next Christmas.")

I've been working on getting to a healthier weight and trying to re-learn how to eat properly. I'm also hoping to start doing some yoga, but the classes at my gym are inconveniently timed, and I really don't have the extra $ to pay for classes elsewhere.

Is there something you wish you'd done before the TTC process? Something you're really glad you did?

I wish I had kept a detailed diary of all my pms symptoms during the luteal phase. When I started TTC, my breasts would get sore, I'd be extra tired and thirsty - and wonder "did I feel this way every month and just not pay attention, or is this a pregnancy symptom?" Keeping a list of those symptoms and what cycle day they show up will help you stay sane during the Two Week Wait - If being sane during the TWW is even possible :dizzy:

Good Luck! I hope the next 6 months pass quickly for you!

Are you charting? I'd start if you're not. Even if you plan on using fertility drugs, it really is worth charting as it helps A LOT to really understand your body and recognise the signs it sends out.

I'd also start on a pre-natal/breastfeeding multi vitamin and if you choose not to do that, then get yourself some folic acid. It's essential that you take folic acid from at least a couple of months before TTC. Evening Primrose Oil is something else I'd consider as it helps to tone your uterus. Once TTC though, you should only take it between menstruation and ovulation.

And finally, I'd quit or cut right back on caffeine and alcohol.

Out of interest, how come you have chosen to bank you KD's sperm rather than use it fresh? Are you living in different locations?

I second the recommendation to chart, if you're not already. I chart at Fertility Friend and I recommend it--they've got a really great board community that I've found very supportive.

If you've not done so, get your hands on a copy of Taking Charge of Your Fertility. It's an excellent resource.

Do some research before you decide that you need to take a prenatal. I took one when we ttc'd the first time, but I'm not this time. We suspect that the prenatal was largely to blame for Kidney Stone Saga 2007 (http://betweenthelakes.blogspot.com/2007/06/late-springearly-summer-2007.html).

Finally, WRT yoga, if you can swing the funds for an intro class, you can easily do it at home after that. There are lots of DVDs out there--you can NetFlix a few and see what works best for you.

I had a year's wait before we started TTC. It seemed like the longest year ever but I do have some advice. While waiting I found it helpful to write a list of things we needed to accomplish before we started TTC. It night not even be baby related, you might want to save X amount of dollars or finish a home improvement project or go on a nice vacation. All of those were on my list and it was nice to mark them off as we accomplished them. It made me feel like I was moving forward and doing SOMETHING to get to the TTC stage.

1) I third the charting suggestion. It's so important to understanding when you O. Even if you put it away when you start TTC you'll have a lot more insight. Every woman's body is different and you need to get to know yours.

2) Both you and your DP should get a full physical including a gyn checkup for both. This was a priority for us, we even paid out of pocket for DW's. We wanted to make sure both of us were in good health before we brought a new life into the world.

3) Get yourself ready. Cut the caffiene, alcohol, drugs, etc out or at least reduce them and start taking a pre-natal.

4) Enjoy the time you have now. I know it's so hard to stay in the present, I was there, but really try to enjoy the alone time you and your partner have right now. Your lives are about to change dramatically and you want to make sure you both are in a good place as individuals and as a couple. Plus not thinking too much about TTC, for me, made the time go by faster.

5) Pick up a good book. I love reading about pregnancy and TTC while I was waiting. I did research on cloth dipes, schooling options, attachment parenting, etc. Just be careful because now that we're trying I don't want to look at anyting baby related. But some of the really cool books I read were Stephaine Brill's Lesbian Pregnancy book, Rachel Pepper's pregnancy book, and the taking charge of your fertility book frog reccommended.

6) Enjoy your hobbies and don't put them aside when you start TTC. As hard as this is going to sound, you're probably not going to get pregnant the first time. This was the hardest part for me because I thought, "I've waited a year already, I'm ready for my kid now, please." We'll five months later and we're still trying. Know and expect that this may not happen within the first few tries. With that said I needed something else as a distraction and my hobbies have really come to my rescue. Don't have a hobby, find one now!

7) If you're going the medicalize route I'd suggest a consultation with an RE. Ask for a Preconception workup. They'll test your blood for just about everything. Also ask for a progestrone test, if you have good insurance. I'd do this at least 2-3 months before you start TTC so you have some time to work out issues if any arise.

8) Relax. Find your Zen, your place of peace, figure out how to relax your mind and body. Get a monthly massage, do yoga or meditation, listen to tibetian monks, whatever works for you. This will come in handy when your in the 2ww. I wish I had found this before hand.

9) Set up a support system. Both you and DP will need it. If you don't want to tell your friends and family your TTC, and we didn't, find an online community and attach to them. I've found MDC to be the best part of this whole process. I've met some really awesome people and I've learned so much here.

10) Ok, so I ran out of advice but I had to have a ten so I'll just wish you good luck!

Are you charting? I'd start if you're not. Even if you plan on using fertility drugs, it really is worth charting as it helps A LOT to really understand your body and recognise the signs it sends out.

I'd also start on a pre-natal/breastfeeding multi vitamin and if you choose not to do that, then get yourself some folic acid. It's essential that you take folic acid from at least a couple of months before TTC. Evening Primrose Oil is something else I'd consider as it helps to tone your uterus. Once TTC though, you should only take it between menstruation and ovulation.

And finally, I'd quit or cut right back on caffeine and alcohol.

Out of interest, how come you have chosen to bank you KD's sperm rather than use it fresh? Are you living in different locations?

I started really basic charting a couple months ago- just my bleeding, mucus (when I remember), and ovulation pain. If the past 2 months are indicative, and my ov pain actually indicates when I ovulate (which I think it does), I ovulate on about day 19 of a 30-31 day cycle. So I'm gonna look into ways to lengthen my LP. I'm also thermometer shopping today so I can start temping.

I'd rather wait to start the prenatal vitamins, as multivitamins (or too much heavily fortified foods) make me nauseous. I'm not sure what it is exactly, but it happens every time. I may try just the folic acid supplements and see how that goes.

My caffeine and alcohol intake is minimal (like, tea or a Coke once or twice a week, alcohol maybe a drink or two every couple months), so that's not going to be a biggie for me.

And yes, our KD lives too far away to make using fresh terribly practical. I wish he was close enough, but such is life. We also like the legal protections that going this way provides. I don't think it would be a problem, but better safe than sorry, especially as we'd like to move to another country at some point.

Thanks for the advice. :love

I'm very glad that we have extremely supportive families. DW's mom has been vcally wanting us to give her grandbabies for about five years now. My mom is planning her remodel of her second floor so there's a place for the crib. The only parent who wouldn't mind us waiting more is DW's dad, whose youngest is 5. I just wish they were closer. DW's family is 3-4 hours away. Mine is on the other side of the country. :(

We're hoping to get through this process with minimal medical intervention. I'm 27, and other than being overweight and allergic to things, am in very good health. I had a full physical with bloodwork, etc. this summer, and everything looks fine. Well, my cholesterol is low. That's genetic, as far as I can tell, as both my mom and her sister had the same problem. My family is generally fertile- every female who has wanted to has had at least 2 kids without major trouble. And my cycles are pretty regular and I can feel when I ovulate, so hopefully it won't take too long to get pregnant (knock on wood, cross your fingers, etc. etc.).

I think trying to stay present is going to be hardest. I love planning and thinking about the future, so I'm going to have to really focus on being in the now and remembering that my life isn't going to start when I have that baby or even TTC. My life is what I'm living today.

I'd rather wait to start the prenatal vitamins, as multivitamins (or too much heavily fortified foods) make me nauseous.

Particularly because of this, do some research before you commit to prenatals. Most women don't need everything that's in them.

Hey there !

Everything i have done is listed already !

If I were you, I would try to take at least the folic supplements... or supplement your meals with many folic acid rich foods. I have a friend who had a anencephalic child (before we knew about folic acid) and it is really really important to have at least that for a few months before TTC.

Best of luck !!

Coco

You can get tablets of just folic acid, although if you eat commercial bread and cereal you probably get a lot already, because starting a few years ago those products began being supplemented with folic acid.

As an alternative to prenatal vitamins, maybe track your nutrient intake in FitDay (http://fitday.com). You can set "nutrient goals" for some common nutrients, i.e. iron, calcium, folic acid, etc. I'm not into taking a multi-vitamin, but rather trying to tweak my whole foods consumption to get to where I need to be. I was surprised to find that what I was already eating was pretty close to complete most days...if I were taking more vitamins I'd be way over-supplementing. I do take extra vitamin C and Floradix (iron) pretty much daily, though.

What I wish I would have done proir to TTC is stocking my freezer full of dinners. I hated cooking while pregnant and most of the time I was too tired anyway. Also I wanted to do a good toxin cleanse. I did get in shape and got a good Yoga routine going before TTC #2 and that helped a lot. Also I would start taking a prenatal now and maybe start drinking Red Raspberry Leaf tea (or Trader Joe's has prenatal with RRL in it)

I think charting is way up there, the more symptoms the better (you will probably invent and imagine more in the tww anyway if you are like many of us--but it's good to have a long list of the normal to start!)

Also, if you like anything that you won't be able to do as readily.... on my list would be snowboarding, hot tubs, eating sushi, massage (and then while pregnant, things like movies, sitting in bed all day reading a book, indulging in hours-long conversations with friends, tennis, taking long hikes, sleeping in, etc.) Can you take a trip somewhere you've really wanted to go? That can make the time pass, and is slightly more tricky while ttc (only if it interferes with timing), being pg (if you get m/s), or with a little one (though infants are very portable, you may be tired...)

I also think eating healthily is a great idea--get those veggies in! Lots of people have odd aversions during pg that makes it more difficult to eat healthily, particularly in the first trimester. Plus, you have a chance to re-tool your eating habits before you are tired and overwhelmed with a newborn--I worked on that before having Maddie and was happy to be able to pass on healthier eating habits to her once she was old enough to eat solid foods.

I think that you are doing all the right things so far. The MDC family is great and a great resource! I think it's great that you have 6 months to get ready. We got pregnant on our "practice run". I guess it was ment to be. My advice would be... Exercise, eat well, the book "lesbain conception and birth" was awesome, look into Bradley's Method (it was great), and take time to relax!!! Enjoy down time, do all the things you can't while pg and have good quality time with your DP. The whole process can be all consuming, at least for us it was. We didn't take as much time as we should have to just relax and not think about anything "baby". So get sleep, cuddle as often as possible and go on vacation :)

Get a nice, hand-woven hammock. Best thing for my pregnancy ever.

Pick a sweet, comfortable song that you can sing a lot while PG, then sing to the babe.

Lots of rockin' sex now. Sock away some money and learn (?) how to cook Indian food.

That's MY list, anyway. A quick six months to you!