Every morning I let DS know it's time to go get washed up. He goes and waggles his fingers under cold water, takes a swipe across his mouth and calls it done. Many mornings his toothbrush is dry after he's told me he has brushed his teeth. Usually I have to send him back to do it properly two or three times, with both of us getting angrier each time. He strongly resists doing it together, and locks himself in the bathroom. How can I give him autonomy but still have it done properly? I'm tired of fighting about this every single day. Help!

By doing it together, do you mean doing it at the same time or both of you working on his teeth/hands?

I found getting the foam soap helped w/the handwashing. Telling dd that she has the choice of doing her teeth properly herself or having me do it for her helped.

By doing it together, do you mean doing it at the same time or both of you working on his teeth/hands?

Both. I've tried doing it myself at the same time, or by saying "you do it, and I'll help with the parts you miss."

Telling dd that she has the choice of doing her teeth properly herself or having me do it for her helped.

I've also done this, which usually sends him running to lock himself in the bathroom, resulting in a confrontation.

He feels like he's old enough to do it himself, without help, and any attempts to help are a threat to his independence. He knows the spiel about germs, and that not brushing his teeth might result in having black fillings like mom (not that I would let them near his teeth with amalgam fillings!). He just shrugs his shoulders, and says he's not going to fall over dead if he doesn't brush his teeth! I'm glad to know he's not an anxious person like mom is. Maybe I have to resort to "prizes" for washing and teeth brushing, although I don't generally agree with that.

I did see a good idea on Supernanny - get a vanity mirror and place it on the table. He can watch himself better than with a bathroom mirror and it at least works short term. There's also the plaque dye - it's a natural red dye from sugar beets. Your dentist could probably give you some or an idea of where to get some. If he uses it after he brushes, he can see what he's missing. With my oldest, fancy toothbrushes are an incentive enough. I buy regular toothbrushes throughout the year, but Easter, first summer trip, Halloween, and Christmas all get the present of a "cool" toothbrush - light up ones, spinbrushes, musical..and new toothpaste.

As far as handwashing, doing it in the kitchen has worked out better for us. I have a 4yo I watch that uses a shallow bowl at the table, with a scrubber and a dry cloth next to it. We use the sink. It's a lowkey way to keep an eye on things and help as necessary - singing 'row, row, row your boat' or offering some nice lotion after.

I just joined the Consensual Living yahoo group (following a link from a post by WuWei), and found ALOT of discussion of the toothbrushing issue, so much that there is a PDF file there full of all the toothbrushing discussions. Some very insightful stuff!

Would having the dentist talk to him help? I know for us, if mom says something it's in one ear and out the other, but if someone else says it- it's more likely to be taken seriously.

This issue comes up on the CL group often, here are a few old posts and info about toothbrushing. There is also info in the Dental forum about curing cavities with nutrition. http://www.mothering.com/discussions/showthread.php?t=399989&highlight=curing+cavities+nutrition (http://www.mothering.com/discussions/forumdisplay.php?f=308)

You can read Weston Price's chapter on controlling decay(and rest of his groundbreaking book "Nutrition and Physical Degeneration")
http://www.soilandhealth.org/02/0203CAT/020305ppnf/PPNF.HTML


Foods which heal tooth decay:
http://www.amazon.com/Cure-Tooth-Decay-Cavities-Nutrition/dp/1434810607
http://www.yourreturn.org/Articles/Early_ChildHood_Caries_Cured.htm

Healing Early Childhood Tooth Decay Naturally:
http://www.mothering.com/discussions/showthread.php?t=529174&highlight=foods+hea\
l+teeth (http://www.mothering.com/discussions/showthread.php?t=529174&highlight=foods+heal+teeth)

http://www.westonaprice.org/traditional_diets/ancient_dietary_wisdom.html
http://www.ppnf.org/catalog/ppnf/Articles/Rootcanal.htm


The Invisible Toothbrush
By Emmanuel Cheraskin, MD, DMD

Quote:
One of the many risk factors for heart disease is poor dental health. The root cause for both diseases is probably the same—nutritional deficiencies, including deficiency of vitamin C. In this article, Dr. Emmanuel Cheraskin presents evidence that serum vitamin C levels are just as important as brushing for the prevention of tooth decay. His research also explains why primitive peoples on nutrient-dense diets have no tooth decay, in spite of the fact that they do not brush their teeth.

http://www.westonaprice.org/healthissues/toothbrush.html (http://www.westonaprice.org/healthissues/toothbrush.html)
Well, ds doesn't consume a lot of sugar and he does brush, and still had a ton of cavities. And I had a ton of cavities as a child. I have a mouth full of mercury fillings. Dh had his very first cavity, an itsy-bitsy one, at age 40. I believe that there are very many variables. The worst culprit that I have learned is providing chewable Vitamin C tablets which are severely acidic and destructive to tooth enamel. Ds loved them! We also used sippy cups beyond a very early age for spill-proof benefits. (still do) Apparently, this contributes to maintaining an acid oral flora. When one drinks juice or milk in a single sitting, the natural flora rinses the teeth to a more proper
pH.

We didn't brush at bedtime consistently. Rather we brushed throughout the day. Apparently bedtime brushing is more efficient due to the decreased saliva production at night. My own lack of nightime brushing apparently increased the bacterial counts (strep mutans the specific bacteria that causes cavities in the presence of acidity); but *I* haven't any additional cavities. We didn't use Xylitol products. We do now. And specifically the mother's use of xylitol products prenatally decreases cavity production in the child's teeth up to one year subsequently. Essential fatty acids and vitamin A in the prenatal and postnatal diet (breastfeeding) are huge variables. I had these.

Reading on the VeryYoungKidsTeeth site will convince anyone that sugar and brushing are NOT the issues to cavity development.
http://health.groups.yahoo.com/group...oungkidsteeth/ (http://health.groups.yahoo.com/group/veryyoungkidsteeth/) There are many very restrictive parents there who severely limit simple sugar foods and brush their children's teeth religiously twice a day (many forcefully). And their VERY young children still have developed extensive dental caries. A mother sharing utensils and foods with the child increases the oral bacteria count passed to the child. We didn't do this either. So, the main issue that I can discern is the chewable Vitamin C destroying the tooth enamel and led to decay.


http://www.dentalgentlecare.com/trident_research.htm

http://yourreturn.blogspot.com/2005/...rstanding.html (http://yourreturn.blogspot.com/2005/12/early-childhood-caries-understanding.html)


Apples, carrots, celery and other crunchy fruits and veggies help to clean plaque off of teeth, and cheddar cheese helps to change (I think) the pH balance in the mouth so that plaque is less likely to form. You could just plan on keeping small snack plates of these available and out much of the time.

Rinsing with water after eating, especially after eating sugar, will help reduce the formation of plaque. Again, have a favorite water bottle or cup with water available where he is -- in front of the TV, in his room, whatever. Then it's easy to reach when he wants it, and it's no big deal if he doesn't.

There are some great kids' books that really explain what plaque is and how it works, on the bacterial level -- the scientific information. If you don't already have them, buy one or two of those books and just have them in your book collection -- that way the information is available as she happens upon it.

There are lots of different toothbrushes (including the electric/rotating toothbrushes), toothpastes, and mouthwash/rinse products out there that kids can try. There are also different gums that can help clean the teeth, and those Listermint papers kill some germs, too This doesn't have to be a big deal, but when you go shopping together, you can just let him pick out some of these things that look fun to him, and that way you'll have an assortment of different things at home.

texture and taste of the toothpastes -- I think the activity itself just raises a *lot* of sensory issues for a lot of kids. At that age, when their mouth is still so related to pleasure and comfort and taste of food, it can feel very violating to put something relatively large and hard and prickly in there. I think as parents we can *start* the conversation there -- validating that it can be really unpleasant to do this thing.

One other thing you could try is, instead of using a toothbrush, use a wet washcloth with toothpaste, pushed over his teeth by one finger. It might feel gentler and more in control.

Pat

We told 4yo DD it was her choice but explained what happens when you don't brush your teeth or wash your hands. We try to make a game out of it for those times when she's too tired or rushed to make a good choice. We sometimes count in funny voices or I let her argue with me about why I should wash my hands. We try to build in some silliness (I might start out with: "I pet a lion today and it sure needed a bath, I should probably wash my hands." and her imagination goes wild!) so she ends up laughing while washing.

We have the "hand-washing machine"! I soap my hands and hold them apart in the sink. The kids put their hands between mine, one at a time, and I rub them vigorously but gently with my hands while making silly "machine" noises. Sometimes when they're reluctant to wash their hands, that helps get them over the hump because we're all laughing.

Then later I can encourage them to make their own "hand-washing-machine" and remind them to be sure to get the backs, between the fingers, etc. while making funny machine-type noises.

I do the same thing with brushing--lots of silly sound effects. Sometimes I pretend the toothbrush is a funny little critter who wants to go in the wierd cave with teeth in it to explore. Or I'll have them sing scales of "ah" or "ee" while I brush their teeth, and I sing with them.