Hair Help

[lovinannah]

My DD is half white and half Nigerian. I have never liked to do my own straight hair, just brush and go. DDs curls are amazing and lovely, but so dry. What natural products can I use? I've used California Baby leave in conditioner. But even when I put in a quarter size dollop on her little head of hair, it barely helps. I've read that using straight oil, like apricot or almond oil isn't a good idea because it blocks the hair follicle. Her hair is still very short so not long enough for braids yet. Although at 2 1/2 she doesn't have the patience to sit thru it yet, not to mention me. :wink Any suggestions? I love the wild and free look of the spiral curls, but is it far more work and more hair products to get there?

[Bad Mama Jama]

When going the natural route, I use Olive Oil for my dd's hair. It softens and is light and lets the scalp breathe. But I also found a nice detangling lotion at the black beauty supply. I have never looked for it outside of my neighborhood. I will report back when I get home the name of it. But I love it, it is relatively inexpensive and smells great!

[kateena]

ahh, hair...just my topic :)

I'm going to start using olive oil, but it's my first try with anything else than shampoo. I bought a vaporizer today, I'm thinking that might be a bit easier on her hair (and scalp) than massaging it in. In any case it sounds a lot nicer than the things I could get at the local African store- right now I want to try and use more natural stuff.

But if anyone has other good ideas, I'd be very interested as well!

[ajv]

first, you know to only shampoo once a week right? then try organic root stimulator carrot oil. use it as a leave in conditioner. you can get it online at texas beauty supply. anyway, after shampooing her hair rinse but dont towel dry, add generous amounts of carrot oil, partition her head in to 4 or 5 sections, doing one section at a time just twist with two strands of hair. let air dry. if she cant sit still for this long then try three braids, till she gets used to the ritual, add additional braids each time you redo her hair.

you can use the carrot oil as a leave in conditioner when ever you comb her hair. combing hair can be such a nuturing ritual between mothers and daughters. i hope this makes sense.

[Joyster]

My hair is fairly curly, I take care not to wash it too often, a few times a week, so it doesn't dry out. I do wet it every day to style it. I use leave in conditioner, and for the most part for convenience, I put it in a ponytail. I also sleep with a high ponytail on my head so I'm not smashing the hair. Never brush the hair dry, in fact try to use a wide toothed comb.

My hair was a disaster until I found a hairstylist here who specialised in curly hair and developed (not natural, but very gentle) products and specific haircuts to minimise bulk. Ironically the person who developed the technique is white and has super straight hair, but he knows curls and so do his staff.

[Paddington]

ajv, Love how you threw that shampoo thing in first. :thumb

[Bunnybee]

I'll have to agree with pp about washing the hair only once a week. My DD has super dry hair and skin. We only bathe her every other day to begin with! I also found some "baby oil" from Whole Foods, but the main ingredient is olive oil! It seems to help. I make parts in DD's hair and skirt the oil in then massage it and comb it through. Her hair is not quite long enough to braid all over, but in some sections it is. I kind of prefer the "natural" look myself as I have never been a "girly girl" or into doing my own hair (which is super straight, lol). I love what ajv said "combing hair can be such a nuturing ritual between mothers and daughters." How true! I never really thought about it since I'm not into doing my own hair but you are so right!

[grumpybear]

Hello,
I am not very well experienced in curls as I have super straight hair but I've read in various books and articles that dry hair and skin could be a symptom of omega-3/essential fatty acids deficiency. So maybe you'd want to look into that as well?
HTH :)

[Bunnybee]

Hello,
I've read in various books and articles that dry hair and skin could be a symptom of omega-3/essential fatty acids deficiency.
Interesting. I will look into that. Thanks. :)

[LaffNowCryLater]

I have two sample kits on their way to my house.
One is from www.oyinhandmade.com
and the other is from www.curls.biz (I ordered the kids line, but when I have the baby I want to try their organic baby line).

Anyways, I rarely rarely ever shampoo. Then I put a generous amount of conditioner in her hair and comb it in with a wide toothed comb and let it sit for a while while she plays in the tub. Then I rinse it out and comb it again. When its still wet a little I add some creamy leave-in conditioner and scrunch her curls.

Sometimes I 'wash' it but skip the shampoo part.

[mom2tatum]

We started using some oyin products, too, about six months ago - and boy, have they helped our ds hair grow and be softer and not so dry, matty, and stringy, wild, breakable, etc. I love the greg juice for quick moisturization which I use before we leave the house, and love the honey hemp conditioner they offer in the sample pack...we use the cond. after baths and just leave it in and use a wide toothed pik to comb out any knots. Not quite ready to dread it yet, although parts of his hair are ready I think. OUr ds' hair is really really crazy. I know lots of mixed kids and have seen plenty of the different heads of hair and still have yet to see any like ds' AT ALL. :lol

It definitely depends on how recently it was washed and if there is any cond. or greg juice sprayed in, but for the most part - the top/back area of his head is super curly and coarse. The front is almost totally straight, with a little wave sometimes and as you move back on his head it gets curlier. The back/bottom is half bald and easily breaks and the other half is a total mix of curly/coarse and straight and soft. The sides are usually sticking straight out and very dry and coarse yet with no curl. He's got it all, I swear! :lol Its sometimes a pitb, but mostly we just smile and let it go however wild and weird it looks...Most people comment on his hair before anything else and I don't know if they like it or not, but always something like, "whoa, look at that hair!" or closer friends will say, "That hair is crazy, kiddo!" Whatever. I guess we'll figure out what to do with it at some point.

I know how to comb, separate, and braid (cornrow, I should specify) because dh has 2 little sisters who have spent many weekends at our house with us over the past 7 years - so I HAD to learn, basically. And, not that I would want to braid ds' hair ever, but I am glad to have had the experience with both of their hair types because yes, the care and maintenance is SO different than with us with typical "white" hair. And, I've learned (after working as a teacher in the inner city and knowing dh's family's ways) how many black women mismanage their own children's hair - mostly because of what types of products are sold in their beauty supply stores (cheaper and many petroleum based oils/grease, and hair ties that damage, etc.) So, wanting to manage and care for coarse curly hair is not always easy to discover - if you want to do it naturally. ykwim? So many women in dh's family have such broken and damaged short hair with hair lines completely pushed back further and further (from long term micro braids and lots of chemical treatments, etc) that now has to be covered in wigs because of how they wore it over so many years. Some of the more rasta or non urban type ladies in his family never got into the braiding and wear their hair naturally or in dreads, and it seems more the way to go if you want your hair to last and stay strong and beautiful. Just takes more work, I guess.

I always took for granted that I can wake up in the morning and throw my hair back in a ponytail or not and not worry about it for days on end. I can't even remember the last time I used a comb or brush. I do own one, but don't know where it is - I'd have to search. :lol Just ONE of the things I took for granted until going to college and meeting people different from myself.

sorry for babbling. :rant:

[QueenSheba'sMom]

We use oyin, too, but in it's absense ($$), we're using coconut oil & detangler

[stacim]

No shampoo here. I'm AA/black and my kids are black/white mix. I wear my hair natural and haven't used shampoo (except a few times) for about two years. I use conditioner and massage it in and rinse once a week or so. On the other days I wet it and either put in Paul Mitchell Foaming Pomade, or a little Bed Head Ego Boost mixed with conditioner and then the PMFP. While this combo works really well for me, I want to change b/c of all the SLS and other stuff in there.

As for dd, no shampoo for her either. She has slightly curly hair, that doesn't tend to be too dry, but the shampoo would probably dry it out more. I do the same for youngest ds.

The older boys do use shampoo w/conditioner mixed in, but they all have hair that is more on the "white" side, so mine is probably a closer match.

[earthgirl]

I use this (http://www.drugstore.com/qxp90283_333181_sespider/beauty_without_cruelty/leave_in_conditioner_revitalize.htm) stuff and love it. I'm biracial, btw, sounds like your DD has my kind of hair. You should also check out this (http://www.naturallycurly.com) site, though it can be overwhelming w/ the amount of info and products.

[mom2tatum]

first, you know to only shampoo once a week right? then try organic root stimulator carrot oil. use it as a leave in conditioner. you can get it online at texas beauty supply. anyway, after shampooing her hair rinse but dont towel dry, add generous amounts of carrot oil, partition her head in to 4 or 5 sections, doing one section at a time just twist with two strands of hair. let air dry. if she cant sit still for this long then try three braids, till she gets used to the ritual, add additional braids each time you redo her hair.

you can use the carrot oil as a leave in conditioner when ever you comb her hair. combing hair can be such a nuturing ritual between mothers and daughters. i hope this makes sense.

where do you get the carrot oil? I'd like to try that as well...Is it a strong smell? Ds seems bothered by that...but I'd still try anyway just to see.

[Bunnybee]

I saw some carrot oil in CVS the other day but didn't buy it. We're using the olive oil/baby oil for now. Here's a link to what I saw at CVS:

[Bad Mama Jama]

Kids' Organics is what I use, sorry it took me a minute to confirm the name and I couldn't find a website for the actual product, but here is what the detangling lotion looks like and they have a super gro that smells great, too... Hope this helps! I buy it at the beauty supply up the street from my home and both products are $2.99 apiece.

http://www.walgreens.com/store/product.jsp?CATID=304656&navAction=jump&navCount=1&id=prod399965

http://www.walgreens.com/store/product.jsp?CATID=304659&navAction=jump&navCount=1&skuid=sku1083821&id=prod1083831

[Bunnybee]

I noticed those have BHA in them. I'm not too savvy about this stuff, but I thought BHA wa a not so good thing?

[Bad Mama Jama]

ah, i had not prior seen it on the list and honestly, wasn't aware of what it was, but now, i am mad as hell. how could they be allowed to market it? darned FDA! :rant: i will be switching to something else. back to square one. :irked:

[happyhippiemama]

The pics are huge, sorry.

Okay, DD is triracial (AA/Hisp(Mex)/white) and I am white with straight-ass do-nothing-ever hair. Her hair length now is approximately:
*just-past-the-shoulders when allowed to air-dry and all springy-curly
*mid-shoulder-blade when brushed while dry (read: frizzy)
*to the small of her back when brushed straight while wet

I know logically what I'm supposed to do with her hair, but just can't do it. For example, brushing/combing her hair.

I know I'm not ever supposed to brush her hair dry, but I also can't spend upwards of an hour every single morning getting the tangles out. We have one of these (http://www.mysimon.com/9025-10955_8-41122607.html) brushes (DD prefers the soft side) that we use to smooth the surface hair back into a ponytail pretty much every morning. Am I destroying her hair?

When her hair is wet, I simply cannot comb it. Everyone says, use a wide-toothed comb, right? It does not work. It tugs and it hurts and it sucks. Usually what we do is this: at bathtime, with tons of conditioner gooped on and soaking in, I sit with her for over half an hour and using my fingers slowly separate out every single strand of hair from the knots they live in.

If I do this routine, and then just let her hair air-dry with a leave-in conditioner in it, it will look like this (http://i269.photobucket.com/albums/jj47/thetanhafamily/PP1010497_106_edited.jpg) (styled with curl-rejuvenator stuff) or like this (http://i269.photobucket.com/albums/jj47/thetanhafamily/EarlyDecember063_edited.jpg) (unstyled, two years ago, and about 6 inches shorter). It will look like this for 3 hours, tops, until it starts to tangle up all over and dreadlock in the middle.

I admit to being a bad triracial-hair-doing-momma and using DP's brush (http://www.hairproducts.com/view_product.php?product=BRU-MYS102&searchlink=yes&search=GD-&page=1) to *gasp* yank the tangles out while her hair is dry, which completely frizzes her hair out to its full frizzy potential (which is damned cute, btw, but probably not the best for her hair) and leaves her looking like this (http://i269.photobucket.com/albums/jj47/thetanhafamily/Picture152.jpg) (upside down, but it looks pretty much the same right-side up, anyway).

I am not skilled enough to do even relatively small braids or french braids or anything. I have tried to braid her hair back in four or five sections at the back of her head before bedtime. By morning, the ends of the braids have curled up and over the rubber bands, wormed their way into the braids proper, and begun to take root up near where the braids start at her scalp. :eyesroll

DD will not tolerate anything on her head at night (no scarves, covers, hats, wraps, anything). She also will not tolerate her hair down and loose, as it gets in her face all night and she can't stand it when her neck gets sweaty. We usually just pull it back in a ponytail - and end up cutting the ponytail holder out in the morning, because so many hairs curled around and under it that it's impossible to remove.

HELP!!!

[QueenSheba'sMom]

The pics are huge, sorry.

Okay, DD is triracial (AA/Hisp(Mex)/white) and I am white with straight-ass do-nothing-ever hair. Her hair length now is approximately:
*just-past-the-shoulders when allowed to air-dry and all springy-curly
*mid-shoulder-blade when brushed while dry (read: frizzy)
*to the small of her back when brushed straight while wet

I know logically what I'm supposed to do with her hair, but just can't do it. For example, brushing/combing her hair.

I know I'm not ever supposed to brush her hair dry, but I also can't spend upwards of an hour every single morning getting the tangles out. We have one of these (http://www.mysimon.com/9025-10955_8-41122607.html) brushes (DD prefers the soft side) that we use to smooth the surface hair back into a ponytail pretty much every morning. Am I destroying her hair?

When her hair is wet, I simply cannot comb it. Everyone says, use a wide-toothed comb, right? It does not work. It tugs and it hurts and it sucks. Usually what we do is this: at bathtime, with tons of conditioner gooped on and soaking in, I sit with her for over half an hour and using my fingers slowly separate out every single strand of hair from the knots they live in.

If I do this routine, and then just let her hair air-dry with a leave-in conditioner in it, it will look like this (http://i269.photobucket.com/albums/jj47/thetanhafamily/PP1010497_106_edited.jpg) (styled with curl-rejuvenator stuff) or like this (http://i269.photobucket.com/albums/jj47/thetanhafamily/EarlyDecember063_edited.jpg) (unstyled, two years ago, and about 6 inches shorter). It will look like this for 3 hours, tops, until it starts to tangle up all over and dreadlock in the middle.

I admit to being a bad triracial-hair-doing-momma and using DP's brush (http://www.hairproducts.com/view_product.php?product=BRU-MYS102&searchlink=yes&search=GD-&page=1) to *gasp* yank the tangles out while her hair is dry, which completely frizzes her hair out to its full frizzy potential (which is damned cute, btw, but probably not the best for her hair) and leaves her looking like this (http://i269.photobucket.com/albums/jj47/thetanhafamily/Picture152.jpg) (upside down, but it looks pretty much the same right-side up, anyway).

I am not skilled enough to do even relatively small braids or french braids or anything. I have tried to braid her hair back in four or five sections at the back of her head before bedtime. By morning, the ends of the braids have curled up and over the rubber bands, wormed their way into the braids proper, and begun to take root up near where the braids start at her scalp. :eyesroll

DD will not tolerate anything on her head at night (no scarves, covers, hats, wraps, anything). She also will not tolerate her hair down and loose, as it gets in her face all night and she can't stand it when her neck gets sweaty. We usually just pull it back in a ponytail - and end up cutting the ponytail holder out in the morning, because so many hairs curled around and under it that it's impossible to remove.

HELP!!!


Aaaak!
TOSS the brushes! Her hair shouldn't be brushed.
You can get a wide toothed comb and a comb with all different sized teeth (large to small).

First- in the bathtub- make sure that you're using shampoo & conditioner that are good for her hair (e.g. pantene contains wax, which is horrible for curls). I like the nature's gate hemp or the circle of friends. My favorite conditioner is the oyin (http://www.oyinhandmade.com). She or you can detangle in the tub without any fussing or pain.

Second, when she comes out of the tub, put something on it, e.g. coconut oil, and massage it through. Then comb it, and either put it up in a ponytail or a pigtail or braids or whatever you feel comfortable with, making sure to make your parts with the comb.

Beware that hair that is not braided will tangle quiclkly, and just about any braid will keep the hair separated and manageable.

Now, you only want to wash her hair 1-2 times a week.In the meantime, you can take it down, oil it or spray it up with greg juice or use a detangler or whatever (water, too). Comb it through well, and re "do" it.

[ajv]

sorry i have been out of town., i get my carrot oil at texasbeautysupply.com. and i do this b/c i have not consistently lived in or near an african american community. it doesnt smell, i am the only one of my relatives who uses it, but i think the cost is prohibitive for my sister and mom...tho they take a jar of mine when they visit ( i order them 6 at a time).

i dont mean to be critical but i think the triracial mom with the beautiful daughter is trying to control her daughters head/hair ALL AT ONCE. really you have to partition her head. so if you can section off (not even with straight parts) one fifth of her hair, then then pin the rest back, comb and moisturize the 1/5 only. put hte one fifth only in a braid--no rubber bands, dont worry if it comes apart at nite. then move to the next 1/5, then the next 1/5. okay i kno her hair dries quick, but do all of this while it is wet even if you have to squirt her hair with a water bottle. do this on a weekend, while she is watching her favorite dvd (something she has seen before so she can put her head down if necessary).

having thick curly hair is very high maintenance, but such a blessing, make sure you are communicating the latter, she will be stronger if you love her hair.

hope this makes sense.

[QueenSheba'sMom]

Aaaak!

sorry to aak at you, by the way. you wouldn't believe the crazy head of hair my dd went to scool with today.



by the way, mamas, do you know bell hooks' book happy to be nappy?

ajv made a great point. sometimes kids grow to resent these gorgeous curls...

[happyhippiemama]

thanks for all your advice mamas!! we love happy to be nappy.

DD has been asking to cut her hair for a while now, but I'm reluctant to do it unless she really wants to and not because doing her hair is such a nightmare for all of us to do, yk? *sigh* it's just SO BEAUTIFUL.... once every ten days or so. :lol

[QueenSheba'sMom]

thanks for all your advice mamas!! we love happy to be nappy.

DD has been asking to cut her hair for a while now, but I'm reluctant to do it unless she really wants to and not because doing her hair is such a nightmare for all of us to do, yk? *sigh* it's just SO BEAUTIFUL.... once every ten days or so. :lol

One thing that is a godsend for us is the big locker room shower at the pool. They're happy to spend all day in teh shower, so I can really get them clean, combed and product-ed

[Bad Mama Jama]

Beware that hair that is not braided will tangle quiclkly, and just about any braid will keep the hair separated and manageable.
You can say that again! :lol

[Kajira]

very good advice has been given in this thread

here are my tips, moisture, moisture, moisture!!
After washing oil will lock in the moisture it's soo important to do that, to get that product on the hair asap while damp, section and comb while damp also.

Oyin, Carol's Daughter and a bunch of others all make great products (I should know I try everything I'm a product junkie) but some of the best products can be found in your kitchen/bathroom castor oil, olive oil, apple cider vinegar etc

Be willing to change products!! if you try something and it's not working move on.

Also it's important to use clarifying shampoos to get rid of the product off of the hair so it's able to accept the moisture, not everytime you wash but it needs to be added to the rotation during the month.

NO rubber bands!! Add something like these barretts (http://texasbeautysupplycom.stores.yahoo.net/barrett2.html) are better, there are much smaller ones that you can use at the ends of hair, I find them generally at the flea market and latino markets

Cotton strips moisture out of hair, using an old play silk or a satin pillow case/bonnet for older kids will help

Oh yeah accept the frizz, it's normal after a couple of days the best you can do is refresh it with a bit of moisturizer of your choice and covering at night will help.

hope that helps

[kimiij]

DD will not tolerate anything on her head at night (no scarves, covers, hats, wraps, anything). She also will not tolerate her hair down and loose, as it gets in her face all night and she can't stand it when her neck gets sweaty. We usually just pull it back in a ponytail - and end up cutting the ponytail holder out in the morning, because so many hairs curled around and under it that it's impossible to remove.

HELP!!!

Try putting her hair into three to four large braids or twists and then pinning them together at nighttime.

[LaffNowCryLater]

I have two sample kits on their way to my house.
One is from www.oyinhandmade.com
and the other is from www.curls.biz (I ordered the kids line, but when I have the baby I want to try their organic baby line).

Anyways, I rarely rarely ever shampoo. Then I put a generous amount of conditioner in her hair and comb it in with a wide toothed comb and let it sit for a while while she plays in the tub. Then I rinse it out and comb it again. When its still wet a little I add some creamy leave-in conditioner and scrunch her curls.

Sometimes I 'wash' it but skip the shampoo part.


Update now that I have tried both products.

The CurlyQ's stuff works far better in my dd's hair- I think b/c it is specifically formulated for biracial hair. The Oyin would be better for someone who has more coarser hair or kinkier hair, on my dd it just looks weighed down and greasy.

[mom2tatum]

yeah, ya know, I actually only put oyin product into the back of ds' hair (coarse, kinky, super curly, sometimes frizzy, etc.) since the front/top is almost straight and fine, with a little wave - it'd just make that part look greasy.

I wish curly q product was also made for boys because I like the sounds of some of those products and how they classify by hair type. I don't think he needs to look/smell any more like a girl though (people ALWAYS refer to him as her or she or ask if he's a girl or boy) ugh. Although, now I see some ingredients on their lists that don't seem very natural or even healthy for hair...and it makes me wonder if the company is just trying to grab more clients (like us) by using product descriptions like "organic" and "natural", etc. Hmmm.

[QueenSheba'sMom]

Which oyin products are too heavy for your kids?

it seems to me that they cover a wide spectrum. I (white, straight/wavy/collicky hair) use the conditioner and the pommade myself, and the greg juice is really light. But the burnt sugar only really works for my daughter with the coursest hair and my husband.

[mom2tatum]

I agree with you on the oyin products you mentioned, but I can't even get to many spritzes of the greg juice towards the front of ds' hair or it gets a greasy look and feel to it. But its much safer to use than anything else, because if the burnt sugar pomade touched his hair up front, forget it. :lol We'd have to wash again. I also love the conditioner.

[Leatherette]

My daughter is AA, not biracial, but we have had great success with products from Cornrows and Co. They have a website.

For beads/barrettes/snaps, I just found a great new website called Snapaholics.com. Haven't bought from them yet, but it looks good.

And we only wash hair once a week.....

L.

[LaffNowCryLater]

ALL of the stuff in the Oyin hair sample kit were way too heavy for my dd's hair. Even the conditioner (thoroughly rinsed out) left a greasy residue. When I sprayed her hair with the greg juice it makes her hair matted and tangly and it left my hands feeling dried out from scrunching her hair.

The Curly Q's don't really smell that string, you could try the baby line though.
Its not as all natural as I would like but its way better than the typical hair products I use and it works a lot better for her than Oyin. I really really wanted to like the Oyin stuff too b/c its more all natural but I wouldn't buy it again.

[mom2tatum]

Hey everyone! I found a great book at the library yesterday...just happened to see it sitting on the shelf and thought of a few of you ladies on here with daughters and hair issues...Its called, "I love my hair" (http://www.amazon.com/Love-Hair-Natasha-Anastasia-Tarpley/dp/0316522759) Check it out!

[MimiB]

first, you know to only shampoo once a week right? then try organic root stimulator carrot oil. use it as a leave in conditioner. you can get it online at texas beauty supply. anyway, after shampooing her hair rinse but dont towel dry, add generous amounts of carrot oil, partition her head in to 4 or 5 sections, doing one section at a time just twist with two strands of hair. let air dry. if she cant sit still for this long then try three braids, till she gets used to the ritual, add additional braids each time you redo her hair.

you can use the carrot oil as a leave in conditioner when ever you comb her hair. combing hair can be such a nuturing ritual between mothers and daughters. i hope this makes sense.

This advice is PERFECT. I'd add a couple of other things.
* I saw that you're in Buffalo so you should be able to go to a black hair care salon and get some products...and advice if you need it. Most of it is natural. Avoid stuff for chemically straightened hair b/c that tends to have more products that necessary.
* You basically want a cream-based leave in product. I've even used Keri Lotion in my own hair as a pinch.
* After shampooing and conditioning in the shower, don't let her hair get too dry before lathering on the hair cream. Following AJV's advice about partitioning her hair into sections, don't let the uncreamed sections get too dry before you get to them...you could twist them up or do one fat braid until you get to them.
* Don't use a comb or pick at first - until she gets used to it - b/c the pulling might hurt her and make her not want to sit through it. Put the cream through her hair and work it through with your fingers.
* Untangle the curls from the bottom and work your way up...NOT the other way around. LOL And, put cream on your fingers as you do this to make it easier.
* Totally agree with AJV about making this a special mom/daughter time. I remember sitting between my mom's legs while she did my hair and that's when we would talk/laugh/sing/share secrets.

HTH

[MimiB]

Hello,
I am not very well experienced in curls as I have super straight hair but I've read in various books and articles that dry hair and skin could be a symptom of omega-3/essential fatty acids deficiency. So maybe you'd want to look into that as well?
HTH :)

I know Grumpy Bear is trying to be helpful but I would caution the OP on this kind of suggestion. I highly doubt there is any actual deficiency. We just have curly hair and curly hair tends to be more porous and therefore more dry. I would just worry about letting the little ones think there is something wrong or deficient with them or their hair. Hair, in the black community - and often more so with mixed kids - is one of those things that can really affect some kids' (and later, women's) self-esteem.

Black/mixed hair is not something to be "dealt" with and shouldn't be dreaded (ha ha - no pun intended). Yes, it can be difficult to learn how to work black hair especially if that's not the kind of hair you have. For example, I'm just used to my hair and I know how to take care of it and I'm efficient at it. I couldn't IMAGINE trying to work straight hair or going through what some of my white friends do with their hair on a daily basis. It's just a matter of getting the hang of it and help her to love her hair. You're doing great so far asking for help and you're getting good advice.

:thumb

[hottmama]

I use almond oil on my biracial toddler's hair, and it works pretty well.

[cyndimo]

I'm trying to find the right product(s) to use with my DS's hair.
He's 2.5yo and "full" AA (for lack of a better term - both of his bio parents identify as AA.) His hair is very course and we keep it short, but also want to keep it well moisturized.
I've not been happy with most of the products I've tried from mainstream stores. The smell of Just For Me was waaaaay to girl-y and strong. The Africa's Best Organics line for kids was less strong smelling, but didn't really work that well for DS. Also, it seems that the "Organic" lines I've found don't actually contain organically grown ingredients and have a lot of petroleum-based products and other yicky stuff. :( (Makes me wonder how they can be called "organic"?)
Along those lines, we have been using Kaza's Indian Hemp product. It's first ingredient is petroleum and the second is parafin wax. I really liked it for the first jar, but into the second I'm finding that DS's hair is really waxy and not as soft. No change in washing (1-3x/week). The barber suggested Organic Root's Olive Oil, but looking at the ingredients I have the same questions about the "organic" name.

Which brings me to...
1. Homemade hair treatments...
I've heard about people using Coconut oil, olive oil or other "cooking" oils - do you just use stuff you find in the cooking section of whole foods? For coconut oil - refined or unrefined? I saw a coconut oil designed for hair and skin, but it said t heat it first - that seems like too many steps, too far away from where we're combing hair... how much oil? I have used shea butter, but found it hard to work with and DS's hair and everything he touched were oily.
Any other suggestions of stuff I can make at home with ingredients I like better than the off-the-shelf products?
2. I saw a line in a natural store called Jane Carter Solution. Any experience with this line? I'm also interested in the Olin products that have been mentioned in this thread, but I'm an instant gratification kinda gal and prefer to purchase locally and try out my haul right away.
3. Any shampoo suggestions? I've been using CA Baby, which I like, but might not be the best for DS's hair.

Thanks so much!!!
- Cyndi

[purplegirl]

I'm trying to find the right product(s) to use with my DS's hair.
He's 2.5yo and "full" AA (for lack of a better term - both of his bio parents identify as AA.) His hair is very course and we keep it short, but also want to keep it well moisturized.
I've not been happy with most of the products I've tried from mainstream stores. The smell of Just For Me was waaaaay to girl-y and strong. The Africa's Best Organics line for kids was less strong smelling, but didn't really work that well for DS. Also, it seems that the "Organic" lines I've found don't actually contain organically grown ingredients and have a lot of petroleum-based products and other yicky stuff. :( (Makes me wonder how they can be called "organic"?)
Along those lines, we have been using Kaza's Indian Hemp product. It's first ingredient is petroleum and the second is parafin wax. I really liked it for the first jar, but into the second I'm finding that DS's hair is really waxy and not as soft. No change in washing (1-3x/week). The barber suggested Organic Root's Olive Oil, but looking at the ingredients I have the same questions about the "organic" name.

Which brings me to...
1. Homemade hair treatments...
I've heard about people using Coconut oil, olive oil or other "cooking" oils - do you just use stuff you find in the cooking section of whole foods? For coconut oil - refined or unrefined? I saw a coconut oil designed for hair and skin, but it said t heat it first - that seems like too many steps, too far away from where we're combing hair... how much oil? I have used shea butter, but found it hard to work with and DS's hair and everything he touched were oily.
Any other suggestions of stuff I can make at home with ingredients I like better than the off-the-shelf products?
2. I saw a line in a natural store called Jane Carter Solution. Any experience with this line? I'm also interested in the Olin products that have been mentioned in this thread, but I'm an instant gratification kinda gal and prefer to purchase locally and try out my haul right away.
3. Any shampoo suggestions? I've been using CA Baby, which I like, but might not be the best for DS's hair.

Thanks so much!!!
- Cyndi

I use coconut oil straight from the jar on my hair. It melts very quickly, so I take a glob, run it in my palms and apply it, lightly to my hair. If my hair is extra dry, I will use olive oil. I sometimes use shea butter but only after melting it over heat. If I have extra time, I might make a mixture by melting any of the above, put drop of bergamont oil in and use it once or twice a week.

I would suggest trying oyinhandmade products. I know you like instant gratification but their stuff is so worth the wait.

[momof3ejs]

I'm curious as to why noone has mentioned Mixed Chicks products. We use their whole hair line- shampoo once a week, deep conditioner that rinses out, then a leave-in conditioner on both of my daughters. For everyday fixing, I get their hair damp, then spray with Soft&Precious detangling spray. I comb it, then put in the Mixed Chicks leave-in, then fix it. We get so many compliments on their hair. Also, on weeks where we have a lot going on, I will braid my oldest dd's hair and leave it all week so we don't have to fix it every morning. DD1's hair is coarser, with a tighter curl. It holds braids and everything really nicely. DD2's hair is super fine with big, fat ringlets. Her hair was actually straight until she was 1. DS's hair is very close to my oldest.

Just thought I would mention these products, since I haven't seen them mentioned. Also, when my children were younger, and for my son we used the Soft&Precious hairdress.

[Bunnybee]

I'm curious as to why noone has mentioned Mixed Chicks products.

I just tried googling it but their website didn't work. Where do you buy it? What are the ingredients like?

[Mommy2Amira]

not sure if I can help because dd's hair is very fine (like her dad's who is white) and I'm multiracial (so my hair's texture is thick, curly, soft) BUT our hair get tangled really easily.

What has worked for us is putting olive oil before we wash our hair. Then in the shower, I use shampoo plus conditioner and brush it out with a wide toothed comb.

I don't like leaving oil in either of our hair because I like the dry, non-greasy look.

[LaffNowCryLater]

mixed checks is mixedchicks.net I think. I haven't tried it on dd yet b/c I didn't see on their site a list of exact ingrediants.

[MamaEli]

I use the Curly Q conditioner and milkshake on DD's hair and really love it. Another one I've thought about getting (but haven't yet, kind of if it's not broken don't fix it philosophy) is the Blended Cutie line. I think they're a bit more "organic" than Curly Q, but still, it seems like that's not saying much.

And yeah, it's interesting how different hair types take to different products. The stuff from Curly Q is great for DD, but doesn't do anything for DS. Her hair is fine and spiral curly on top, and very frizzy and tangly on the bottom. DS's hair is thicker and overall a bit coarser, but we've never had tangles and he gets big curls that people can't keep their hands out of, but when cut short it looks straight. On DD, I can apply LIBERAL amounts of olive oil--like fill the palm of my hand amounts, if wash it and don't apply anything else. With DS, if I just rub some on my hands and rub my hands through his hair, he looks like a little greaseball. Sooo, other than some gel now and then for him, that's it. DD gets ALL the hair attention--good thing she's a girl! :)

[nikag]

The fomula is basic but essential...

Condition, condition, condition.

Shampoo only once per week, but condition every day.

It's really too bad that they don't make Unicure Conditioner anymore. That stuff was A-M-A-Z-I-N-G.

[LaffNowCryLater]

Just to let anyone know that may be interested, I got an email from Curls.biz and you can get 30% off with promo code "curlsbday" now through 4/11/08 at midnight.

Remember if you order through them you can type in 3 free samples you would like to try in the comments section!

[Bunnybee]

Oooh, thanks! I think I will try some now!

[WilliamsMama]

Hi, Mamas-
There's a good website (that has a forum) called Naturally Curly that you can go to.
I believe they have a section just for children's hair.
: )

[BigMama2008]

Hi there,
As an AA mom with loose kinky curls, try Carol's Daughter products. They're for AA/Bi-racial hair, all natural and work great. Don't worry about braids at this age, she'll never have patience. :) Just use the products, let it dry naturally or put it in a loose ponytail and go. HTH. :)

[waiting2bemommy]

I just happened onto this thread and wanted to add that as a multi-ethnic person with long curly hair, I've found that Dominican stylists/hair products work wonders on my hair. The stylists are adept at straightening even super-thick hair without chemicals (not that you'd want to straighten your little girl's hair at this age) and the products keep my hair moisturized better than anything else. When I was in the DR & then NY I used Sedal products, and now that I am in VA I have my family in NY bring it down when they come and use Just for me in between. (like, a jar every other day---my hair just sucks it up.) HTH!!!! Btw, sedal stuff is available online also....I just don't want to pay that much for it lol. (about $7 a bottle)

[Bunnybee]

I'm just bumping this since someone else recently had hair questions for their DC.

[olliepop]

Hi there,
As an AA mom with loose kinky curls, try Carol's Daughter products. They're for AA/Bi-racial hair, all natural and work great. Don't worry about braids at this age, she'll never have patience. :) Just use the products, let it dry naturally or put it in a loose ponytail and go. HTH. :)

I second Carol's Daughter. I use her Hair Milk (http://www.carolsdaughter.com/product/id/100313.do)on my biracial dd and it makes her curls shine w/out leaving her hair greasy or heavy.

FYI - they have free shipping right now for Mother's Day!

[LaffNowCryLater]

What exact products would you recommend from Carol's Daughter?

My dd is biracial, her curls are very loose though, similar to this little girl (a random pic I found while googling hair stuff):
http://www.biracialhaircaretips.com/2007/09/05/products-to-make-hair-more-manageable/

[expat-mama]

I'm biracial and after relaxing for a while in my teens (social pressure to look "normal"! :angry) I went back to natural a few years years ago and never looked back! :)
I use pure (sometimes organic) Shea butter on my hair after no-poo washing and sometimes a vitamin/protein rinse. The shea butter is AMAZING :thumb and smells so wonderful. It is not greasy or oily and leaves my hair soft and shiny. You can find shea butter at lots of natural food stores, and if you get the pure stuff you can use it on your skin, baby's skin and it's great.
Africans have been using shea butter forever on their hair, and I figure they must know what they're doing!
I also spritz my hair with water (this helps with any dryness, African/bi-racial hair NEEDS moisture and loves water). Every now and then, I will do a hot organic olive oil treatment (hot oil on hair and scalp, with shower cap on for a few minutes) and then rinse out very well with conditioner.

My biracial hair loves water, shea butter, no-poo, and being chemical free the way it's meant to be! :afro

[mom2tatum]

Love it! Thanks for sharing!

[QueenSheba'sMom]

We've also had good luck with this:
http://oyinhandmade.com/oyin/index.php?main_page=product_info&cPath=1&products_id=3
which is mostly shea butter and smells amazing.

[Teenytoona]

My mexican/AA DSC are in town and I'm really interested in making DSD-6's hair look awesome (because it really is). DSS-8's hair is short enough where it's really no muss, no fuss, but lately, DSD-6's been saying her hair is like a "buffalo." Where else to come but here. I'm also hoping to learn the techniques to make me good at DD's (Caucasian/AA) hair once I have to start doing it regularly. I used to do DSD-6's hair regularly, but was never very good at it. I'm white with stickstraight hair and no hairabilities... I'm glad to have found this thread. DP knows alot about hair, but his methods seems to be a little too much for his mixed daughters' hair. (he tried many methods of hair doing on DSD-17's hair). There are some pictures of them in my siggy.

I'm just going no-poo myself and hoping to find a similar method for the girls. For them, I'm hoping to go conditioner only, with an occassional bs/conditioner wash thrown in. But would I only do the conditioner a few times a week? Do it everyday? Do the bs/conditioner once a week/every few weeks?



i dont mean to be critical but i think the triracial mom with the beautiful daughter is trying to control her daughters head/hair ALL AT ONCE. really you have to partition her head. so if you can section off (not even with straight parts) one fifth of her hair, then then pin the rest back, comb and moisturize the 1/5 only. put hte one fifth only in a braid--no rubber bands, dont worry if it comes apart at nite. then move to the next 1/5, then the next 1/5. okay i kno her hair dries quick, but do all of this while it is wet even if you have to squirt her hair with a water bottle. do this on a weekend, while she is watching her favorite dvd (something she has seen before so she can put her head down if necessary).

having thick curly hair is very high maintenance, but such a blessing, make sure you are communicating the latter, she will be stronger if you love her hair.

hope this makes sense.

Ahh divide the work into pieces. Funny how something so common sense seems so elusive in real practice.




very good advice has been given in this thread

here are my tips, moisture, moisture, moisture!!
After washing oil will lock in the moisture it's soo important to do that, to get that product on the hair asap while damp, section and comb while damp also.

Oyin, Carol's Daughter and a bunch of others all make great products (I should know I try everything I'm a product junkie) but some of the best products can be found in your kitchen/bathroom castor oil, olive oil, apple cider vinegar etc

Be willing to change products!! if you try something and it's not working move on.

Also it's important to use clarifying shampoos to get rid of the product off of the hair so it's able to accept the moisture, not everytime you wash but it needs to be added to the rotation during the month.

NO rubber bands!! Add something like these barretts (http://texasbeautysupplycom.stores.yahoo.net/barrett2.html) are better, there are much smaller ones that you can use at the ends of hair, I find them generally at the flea market and latino markets

Cotton strips moisture out of hair, using an old play silk or a satin pillow case/bonnet for older kids will help

Oh yeah accept the frizz, it's normal after a couple of days the best you can do is refresh it with a bit of moisturizer of your choice and covering at night will help.

hope that helps

A satin pillow case sounds like a great idea. Except, DSD-6 always ends up far from her pillow! :lol

I'm biracial and after relaxing for a while in my teens (social pressure to look "normal"! :angry) I went back to natural a few years years ago and never looked back! :)
I use pure (sometimes organic) Shea butter on my hair after no-poo washing and sometimes a vitamin/protein rinse. The shea butter is AMAZING :thumb and smells so wonderful. It is not greasy or oily and leaves my hair soft and shiny. You can find shea butter at lots of natural food stores, and if you get the pure stuff you can use it on your skin, baby's skin and it's great.
Africans have been using shea butter forever on their hair, and I figure they must know what they're doing!
I also spritz my hair with water (this helps with any dryness, African/bi-racial hair NEEDS moisture and loves water). Every now and then, I will do a hot organic olive oil treatment (hot oil on hair and scalp, with shower cap on for a few minutes) and then rinse out very well with conditioner.

My biracial hair loves water, shea butter, no-poo, and being chemical free the way it's meant to be! :afro

DO you mind sharing your no-poo shea butter routine?

Thanks so much mommas! Looking forward to learning more!

[akaisha]

hi ladies!

as a hopeful future adoptive mama i really love reading all these hair tips! they're so helpful so someone with no experience with black hair. i'm white and have typical relatively straight tangle free white hair, well now anyway. as a kid it was very wavy and would knot up like crazy...well for a white kid anyway, it certainly didn't dread, much to my annoyance. i really wanted dreads as a teenager. in any case i recently learned how to cornrow, and i've wanted cornrows myself for quite some time. i'll got get it done eventually, but since all you mamas are experienced with this stuff i wanted to ask you if any of you have ever cornrowed your own hair? is that even possible? i've done little braids all over my head before (the ones you typically see white people with when they come back from a Caribbean vacation) and didn't find that hard to do myself, but cornrows are obviously more difficult. is this an impossible task, especially with my slippery hair?

by the way, i also wanted to say that i get immensely jealous every time i see a black woman with amazing cornrows and braids. i know it's a lot of work and can be a source of anxiety (among other things) in the black community, but your hair is just so gorgeous, and something to be proud of. :thumb