Another toddler question?

[Mommy22B]

Dd will be 18 months when #2 comes along. I want to have someone there to watch her during the birth, but the thing is she isn't really close to anyone but dh and I. I have a friend or 2 that she knows, but they have small children and I don't know if they could leave their babies and come. Plus, she doesn't really know them all that well. She knows her grandma fairly well, but not that well. And Grandma works. I dont want to be a bother to her. I try not to worry about it, but I can't help it. There are scenarios in my head where everything goes well; she sleeps most of the time, or is in a good mood and plays with a friend during the hard spots and maybe watches the actual birth. But there are other scenarios...she wakes up in the night just as I am pushing and need dh's support, or she is terrified because everything is so different and won't go to anyone but her dad, so I am alone to labor. I guess I just need some reassurance. Did any of you have this situation? Did you try to get your dc used to someone else so they could really trust them? How do you prepare such a little girl for this? We have watched birth videos several times and she is kinda intrigued, but how do I get her to know that a baby is going to come out of mommy? AHHHH!!!
Ok, I am really not as stressed as all that. just a little bit. I do know that she is a very independant little girl and not scared easily at all. I don't think she'll be scared to see me in labor...probably just laugh. :p But I still have a few worries. Thanks all!
Beth

[joyceb]

I had my fifth baby this past June and I worried about whether or not to have my 23 month old present. It worked out that the baby came early, Grandma wasn't there to watch her, and she was happy to play across the street at the neighbors with another 2 year old. I think it worked out that way because I don't think I would have been able to handle labor and giving her the attention she needs and I also needed daddy to help me, and my 13 year old was present for the birth and she would have missed out if the two year old was begging for her attention(She's extremely active) In retrospect I don't think her not being there caused her any harm or jealousy. she was thrilled to come home to her. Good luck:) joyce

[Music-mommy]

Can her grandma come to the birth? I'm sure even though she works that she would be willing to come help out if you ask her. I am going to have my mom there so she can help with dd, keep her occupied or simply talk to her during the birth if she wants to be there and keep her company.

[Honeybee'smama]

No real answers here, just wanted to say that I have some of the same concerns. Dd will be a little more than 3, and she is deffinatly a mama's girl. On the good days, I think about how wonderful it will be to have her there, and on our harder days I wonder how she will deal with everything. We do have someone to be with her, but even with that I wonder, and sometimes worry. We have a while to prepare though. Good Luck!

[Sleepymama]

Our dc are the same age, honeybee! I am worried about the same thing. He's very mommy-centric. I have images of him in the tub with me as I'm pushing, clinging to me b/c he won't stop screaming otherwise :(

My mom lives 2 hours away, and could come, but the thing is that I don't really want her at the birth. She would just make ME more nervous. I am trying to make friendships with some local people so I have people to call.

[starbarrett]

Right there with ya, mama! If I birth first, I'll let you know how it went. When are you due?

I would ask her grandma to be present, though. I bet she would be honored to take the time off.

Also, what about a doula? In case dh does get tied with with dd?