When will you tell the older siblings?

[Bella Catalina]

Just wondering when everyone plans to tell their children about the new sibling on the way?

We've already told Adrian. I know a lot of people wait because nine months is such a long time for a toddler, but it didn't feel right for me not to include him from the beginning. We don't talk about it much right now, but he knows there is a baby (he says 2 babies lol) in Mommy's belly. As time progresses we'll start looking at books about new babies and siblings on the way and include him in pretty much everything. We're not completely sure if we'll have him at the birth yet, but most likely he will be there. I had told him about the baby we lost, too, though I am not sure how much he understands, but I've learned not to assume they can only grasp so much because he always surprises me :love

[tatgurl]

We haven't decided when we're going to tell the boys yet. I want to tell them before we tell anyone else, but I know that when we do tell them EVERYONE will know. They are 4 and 6 and I'm sure that it will come up at school. So when we're ready for everyone else to know, we'll tell them.

We will include them with everything. and hope to have them at the birth if they choose to.

[andi-mama]

We've told our son, but he's only 20 months old and really has no idea what we're talking about :lol

[Mrs-Mama]

We've told our son, but he's only 20 months old and really has no idea what we're talking about :lol

:yeah: except that our DS is 23 months :) All we've said is that there is a baby in mama's tummy. He pulls up my shirt to look :love He's not so verbal yet so I'm not afraid of him telling anyone else before we're ready.

[jmo]

We'll tell dd (2.5) at the end of my first tri. We had told her about the babies that I lost and it was confusing and upsetting to her when I tried to explain the m/c's. This time I want to be sure everything is going to work out.

[nznavo]

I haven't posted here yet. I'm due Nov 4 but trying not to think about it too much for the next while.

Assuming all goes well, my son will be exactly 4 when the next one comes (they have the same due date!). I probably won't tell him until at least 4 months. I wouldn't want him to have to go through a loss with me.

[Alison]

I think I'll wait til end of first trimester as well. I'm not confident in this pregnancy yet, because it took us so long to achieve it. And I don't relish the idea of explaining miscarriage to DS. We're still coming to terms with the death of a pet, over a year ago, and it's a topic that keeps coming up again and again. It would just be too tough for me, so I'm waiting till the risk of miscarriage is reduced at the end of the first timester.

[AugustineM]

My kids are 20 months and 3.5, so I don't know when we'll tell them. Probably not really for a while. I'm also sort of wondering about this pg... wondering if it will stick. I know the 20 month old won't understand, but I'm sure DS will by the time the baby is close to here (he'll be 4).

[JeanineTheOT]

We've told our son, but he's only 20 months old and really has no idea what we're talking about :lol

Yeah, exactly. MY dd was actually there when I POAS, I took pics of her next to it. And she is obsessed with babies, so I dont think she understood the difference between talking about the "baby in mommys belly" and her baby dolls.

[tireesix]

DD1 has already worked it out (shes nearly 4). I asked her why she was reading my pregnancy book and she said 'because you have a baby in your tummy'...... So there we go.

She is absolutley fascinated by birth, when she was 18 months old she was there for DD2s birth so if all goes to plan with this baby, she might just get to see 2 naturalish births at home.....

[AladdinsLamp]

Ds is almost 3.

We have talked about that we are going to have a baby next year but we haven't said that the baby is in my tummy. I m/c-ed in the fall and was relieved that we had done it the same way so it wasn't a big deal to him that we lost the baby because he doesn't have the idea that the baby was here- I mean 9 months is so far away.

So now we just say, we are going to move and after that we are going to have a baby. This way if anything happens early on, he won't know the difference because I know we WILL have another child some day.

I guess when my tummy gets really big, then we'll tell him the baby is in there but not yet. He does know that he can't bf as much now because we need to save it for the new baby.

[because]

DD is 5 and DS is 2. They don't know yet but I think that we'll only be able to keep it from them for another couple of weeks. They're both verbal so once they know.... the world will know! :D

[Patchfire]

I will probably try to keep it from the kids as long as I can, because I'm not ready for the world at large to find out. This all depends on how nauseous I get, though, because dd is 7.5 and no slacker in the brains department, if you know what I mean. So we'll likely tell her first, and ask her not to say anything, and tell ds much later... even once he knows, I think it'll take a little while for it to sink in with him.

[sarahcecile]

We already told DD who is 27 months. She is very very verbal, and I am not worried about telling her, but I do sort of regret telling her as I'm not sure this babe will stick. I thought maybe she'd forgotten about it since I didn't told her 3 days ago and she hasn't mentioned it since, but today she asked me twice to
"pick her up with the baby". I asked "what baby" and she replied "your baby, the baby in Mama's belly" which broke my heart a little. She is such a little love, I hope this babe sticks so she has a sibling! :o

- Sarah

[Girl Named Sandoz]

I told my 5 year old son just after I told DH, which was just after I had my positive pregnancy test (at 10 dpo)! He is very excited. I told him that it's a secret for now and he can't tell anyone at school - and he hasn't!

Our families and a few close friends know already, I'm terrible at keeping a secret!

[buckysprplmonkey]

We're expecting a nephew- he's due on Easter day- and we want to wait at least until after he's born to tell my hubby's parents that they've got grandbaby #4 on the way too. Because we're waiting to tell other friends and family, we're not telling our girls yet either. My 7 year old can't keep a secret to save her life.

[natalieadw]

:yeah: except that our DS is 23 months :) All we've said is that there is a baby in mama's tummy. He pulls up my shirt to look :love He's not so verbal yet ....

Same here! I can ask her where the baby is, and she pulls up my shirt, kisses my flabby belly, then grabs a sneak peek at the na-na's and just HAS to nurse!:)

[buckysprplmonkey]

Same here! I can ask her where the baby is, and she pulls up my shirt, kisses my flabby belly, then grabs a sneak peek at the na-na's and just HAS to nurse!:)

Ha ha ha ha ha. My 21 month old has the same irresistible urge to nurse when she sees "nuhnuhs." Makes showering interesting.

[natalieadw]

Ha ha ha ha ha. My 21 month old has the same irresistible urge to nurse when she sees "nuhnuhs." Makes showering interesting.

It sure does!!! LOL! I have totally been tempted to shower with a swim suit top on just so she doesn't see them!

[LotusBirthMama]

I've told Casey...but he's only 12 months old, so I think he can keep a secret!:wink

We will tell the other kids when we can't get away with hiding it anymore. They have always known right away and its been bad for several reasons.

1-I've lost 4 babies and the m/c's are hard on the kids, who tend to get really excited really quickly.

2- They tell EVERYONE as soon as they know. Even if we aren't ready for them too.

3-Nine months is a loooong time to a 10 and 5 year old. They go a little crazy towards the end.

[Delaney'sMommy]

We've already told our girls, and we just got the positive test result yesterday!

My oldest was praying last week for God to send us a baby & asked me one day last week to take a test since she had said that prayer the night before. She brought all this up on her own. So we really felt like we should tell her. :)It'll be a long nine months though!

[hannybanany]

I told DD this past weekend. She's 2.5, and I'm not sure that she really gets it. She does like to hug and kiss my belly, and talk about sharing her mommy milk with the baby :love

[hmberhalter]

i still haven't talked to my 2 1/2 yr old about it b/c he is super-duper attached to me and very jealous if i spend significant time w/anyone else. so i'm afraid he might revolt when i tell him. any tips??? btw, since i'm already 24 weeks (and huge), the conversation w/him is bound to come up any day now!

[Booflies]

I keep asking my daughter, 18 months, if she likes babies. She keeps telling me NO. I think we'll keep it at that for now ;)

[andi-mama]

I keep asking my daughter, 18 months, if she likes babies. She keeps telling me NO. I think we'll keep it at that for now ;)

LOL! Roman finally learned "no" last week and now it's alllll we hear.

[Delaney'sMommy]

i still haven't talked to my 2 1/2 yr old about it b/c he is super-duper attached to me and very jealous if i spend significant time w/anyone else. so i'm afraid he might revolt when i tell him. any tips??? btw, since i'm already 24 weeks (and huge), the conversation w/him is bound to come up any day now!

We took our first daughter who was 27 months at the time to a bookstore & found a great book, I'm a big sister by Joanna Cole (they have big brother as well). We read it to her there (we changed a few words to fit us- like instead of saying someone new is at our house, we said someone new is coming to our house, etc) & explaining that this was was happening with our family, that we were expecting a new baby. It made it special to be in the bookstore reading since we hadn't done that before & it seemed like a way of telling her that it wasn't all about her, it was about our family, if that makes sense. It turned out to be a very gentle way to tell her. We bought the book, which made her very excited and we read it to her throughout the pregnancy, changing a few words here & there to fit the current situation.

Hope this idea helps a bit. :)

[GreenFlower]

umm...I found out yesterday, told my DH, then called my mom, then told dc, lol

dc's been praying for a "baby in my mommy's tummy" for years now, so I needed to let dc know that the prayers were answered :love

[buckysprplmonkey]

I couldn't help myself. I wanted to wait at least a few more days, but I couldn't keep it from my 7 year old. She was surprisingly unimpressed. She's not upset about it or anything, she just acted like it was not a big deal. She did kiss the baby good night though (my belly- my 21 month old followed suit, very cute!)

[knittinmama]

Not sure when we will DD yet. I am sure she will remember from just adjusting to her baby brother!

She has said after he was born that she wanted a baby sister so I am sure she will be talking my ear off about it!

[Alison]

I told DS yesterday. I'm 7 weeks along, he's almost 5, he was wondering why I was sick all the time and starting to get upset. So I told him that I had a baby in my tummy who would be coming out at Halloween. He was so excited, and said "you mean my baby brother Trevor is already in your tummy?" He's had an imaginary baby brother called Trevor for about a year now. He's going to be disappointed if this is a girl!

[thankfulmommy]

Not sure when we'll tell the kiddos. The older ones are pretty used to it by now. Only a couple reasons for waiting and that is because my test was light, so dh isn't sure it "counts" as a positive, lol! I assured him it was a pos. The other thing is we have 8 kids and they are close in age, so people always have soooo much to say about us having another. Once we tell the kids, everyone knows because they are so excited. We're going to be seeing some of dh's family tomorrow and most likely they will ask if we're expecting again, so we may end up telling the kids tomorrow, I don't know yet. I kinda like having a secret, but I'm bad at it and almost told my oldest dd today.

[buckysprplmonkey]

I kinda like having a secret, but I'm bad at it and almost told my oldest dd today.

I know what you mean. I couldn't not tell my oldest DD (7). She and I are close and it just didn't seem fair to not tell her. I wound up telling her a couple days ago. We sort of told our 21 month old DD#2, but she's not really old enough to get it completely. Our 18 year old foster son (Yeah, we have a taste of every age group at one time, lol) found out yesterday afternoon when we told my in-laws. I think all the kids are excited about a new baby.

[hattifattener]

I think I'll wait til end of first trimester as well. I'm not confident in this pregnancy yet, because it took us so long to achieve it. And I don't relish the idea of explaining miscarriage to DS. We're still coming to terms with the death of a pet, over a year ago, and it's a topic that keeps coming up again and again. It would just be too tough for me, so I'm waiting till the risk of miscarriage is reduced at the end of the first timester.

That's us, exactly.

[Alison]

That's us, exactly.
Except, of course, I ended up telling him at 7 weeks, because he was so worried about why I was always saying "mummy doesn't feel well".

So now I've just got alll my fingers crossed that this sticks, so I don't have to explain why there's no longer a baby.

[arismama!]

I told my 6.5 year old son. he did not think it was particularly cool or interesting in any way whatsoever, lol. he was concerned that I promise to love him more than the baby, even just "one tiny bit more". he seemed pretty emotional today too, didn't want to go to school and just crying over everything.

[OwensMa]

I told my 6.5 year old son. he did not think it was particularly cool or interesting in any way whatsoever, lol. he was concerned that I promise to love him more than the baby, even just "one tiny bit more". he seemed pretty emotional today too, didn't want to go to school and just crying over everything.
Aw, the little guy :hug

We'll probably wait for another month or so, before we tell the boys. DS1 wants another baby so much, and he even asked me today about it. He says he'd like to call it Diesel 10.:irked::lol

[MommyinMN]

We took our first daughter who was 27 months at the time to a bookstore & found a great book, I'm a big sister by Joanna Cole (they have big brother as well). We read it to her there (we changed a few words to fit us- like instead of saying someone new is at our house, we said someone new is coming to our house, etc) & explaining that this was was happening with our family, that we were expecting a new baby. It made it special to be in the bookstore reading since we hadn't done that before & it seemed like a way of telling her that it wasn't all about her, it was about our family, if that makes sense. It turned out to be a very gentle way to tell her. We bought the book, which made her very excited and we read it to her throughout the pregnancy, changing a few words here & there to fit the current situation.

Hope this idea helps a bit. :)



This book is still one of dd's favorite. We bought it 3 years ago when we were expecting ds. We are going to be buying ds the big brother version. I think dd will be getting a book about where babies come from because I can see the question forming in her mind everytime we see one of our pregnant friends and once we explain to her we are expecting I figure they will come spilling out.

[arismama!]

i forget the name of it but dr. sears and martha sears wrote a good kids book about pregnancy and becoming a sibling.

[goodheartedmama]

I have told my kids, but they don't really get it.

[bemommy]

Holding off until we're sure everything is ok. DD (who is 5) has recently been dealing with a lot of sibling rivalry (it's only taken her a year). . I think finding out about another possible sibling right now would not do her any good.

[Kleine Hexe]

I just told my older ds tonight. I couldn't wait any longer.

He was so excited. He was bouncing all over and asking all sorts of questions. How big is it? Is it a boy or girl? When is it coming? He asked what it looked like so we browsed the book "A Child Is Born" and he looked at the pics.

Now, let's see if he can keep it a secret.

[my2elliots]

We told our 18 month old and talk about the baby on the way all the time infront of him.. BUT he has no idea what we are talking about!! I guess once he sees my big tummy he might start understanding what's up.. I know he's going to super excited to have a little baby around to play with.

[clavicula]

Ehhmmm, we didn't want to tell DD1 yet (2.5 yrs), but the other day she made a "picture" of her family, and she said, there was "Sophie" in mommy's belly...she "just knows", i guess. :scratch:shrug

[catballou24]

we just found out yesterday that we are expecting again. this will be the last baby for us. we decided to wait a bit to tell our dd's - our oldest is turning 5 on monday and our youngest is 30 months. we were pregnant in november and lost that baby at 6 weeks. we'd told them right away then so having to tell them, especially our 5 year old, that the baby was gone was really hard...i'm being very superstitious this time around, even though my lines are ALOT darker than before and i'm actually having better symptoms...

[BundleFishMama]

We told our other kids about 10 minutes after I told DH :lol I just can't keep secrets at all!

[CheriK]

DS and DD are 6 - new baby is due on/about their birthday (I'm not sure if I like the idea of all the kids w/ the same bday or not!). We haven't told them yet, the plan is currently to wait until I'm at least 10-12 weeks. But if I get bad ms again, then we'll re-think that.

They're so observant, though, that they might guess. I took a bath w/ my son last week (BEFORE the + pg test, but I already guessed) and he asked me, "Mom, why are your nipples so dark?" He only weaned a month or so ago, so I guess he's still pretty aware of how my breasts normally look. And they are already bigger (and I guess darker, although I didn't notice).

They've been asking about having a baby sibling for at least a year, so I expect they'll like the idea. And we homeschool, so I'm really excited about sharing the baby's growth with them. I expect that they'll be there for the birth. I especially want them to experience a natural birth, because whenever they "play" birth, they always pretend to have the doctor cut the baby out of the mommy's tummy (they've seen their birth video), even though we've talked about normal birth and watched videos. I want dd especially to know what a woman's body can do!

[catballou24]

with all my symptoms and feeling pregnant, we caved and told both the girls and my son. all were thrilled! our 5 year old especially...she asks me everyday if the baby is still in my tummy and on saturday couldn't help herself...she blurted it out to her entire soccer team..:lol i guess we aren't keeping it too much of a secret...:lol