Does anyone else have ZERO sex drive for this pregnancy?

[Dillpicklechip]

I didn't see a noticeable difference in sex drive for my first two pregnancies. But this time around...I just have absolutely no desire whatsoever to have sex with my husband. The idea is not even remotely appealing to me. And the few times I have given it a try, it actually hurt, as if my body was totally rejecting the idea.

I'm just wondering if anyone else has gone through this, and is there any possible way to alleviate the problem? I'm only at the 20 week mark and my husband is going crazy. I'm not going to force myself into it if I don't feel like it, but is there any way at all to maybe bring back a little desire, or is this just an unfortunate side effect of pregnancy sometimes?

[hopeandolive]

Hopefully someone will chime in with some sound advice! I'm in the same boat and it was the exact same during my first pregnancy. I never did find anything to pick things up for me.

[sniffmommy]

This is my 3rd pregnancy, and everytime, I have ZERO sex drive. I do miss sex, I miss the intimacy, but everytime I try to have intercourse, it feels AWFUL.
My sweet, patient husband is willing to settle for less. We do all but the deed, but just to him, as even foreplay grosses me out. :(
I hope you can work something out with your partner. :)

[raingyrl]

In the same boat... I hate the books/articles that talk about sex drive amping up in the 2nd and 3rd trimesters... Whatever. I try to keep DH happy and let him know this will pass...but even kissing makes me want to gag..but then again I've been nauseous throughout this PG, so that could be the main problem.

[seren]

Is it bad that I sometimes wish I had a lower sex drive? It's been so much lately that it's really making me crazy!

[sunnymw]

Oh, honey, I was right there with ya with DS1's pregnancy! It was the pregnancy that probably could have ended our marriage if it wasn't so strongly founded on friendship and love. DH said after that one we'd never have kids again (but here we are in the same DDC!).

I don't know what to tell you except that we bought bulk supplies of KY and had horrible sex about once a month until DS1 was born. Most of the time though I just found... alternative ways of pleasuring him, IYKWIM... since intercourse was very painful for me.

I am very convinced that it varies by pregnancy because I have no trouble this time around.

I hope things get better and that your DH can hang on for just a little longer!

**hugs**

[redorchid]

Me too, and funny we're all due this coming summer...

Anyway, it's gotten a little better for me. The best thing was that my husband said that it was okay and that he would rather sleep anyway. Very unromantic, I know, but I was relieved to hear it.

Once the pressure (imagined, as it turns out) was off, I started feeling a little more like it. I need more foreplay and ahem.. some lubrication, but it's gotten better now. I'm about 22 weeks. We still aren't as active as usual, but I think we're both happy with once every week or two.

For me, I think it was in my head, but I guess it could be hormones too. Either way, I'm lucky that the hubby was understanding about it.

[Ligeia]

Me too! I was actually feeling a little repulsed by the idea for awhile and it was hurting. I have since had a couple of good experiences which seems to have helped a little. We bought a new toy :innocent to spice things up and just have lots of foreplay to make sure I am very ready.

[tjjazzy]

i'm SO there. just not interested, though i want to be and i know he wants me to be. it's not as satisfying either. i don't know if i'm subconsciously worrying about hurting the baby or what?! i'll just keep trying! there's no limit to the number of tries i can have before i give up altogether. LOL

[Mamatolea]

It is night and day with pregnancy and my last. I was SO all revved up with DD and this one is like, um, no...

DH is going crazy and so I try to force myself to want it but more often than not we end up asleep..

On a side note, what do you all do with your co-sleeping LOs when you want to have sex?

[cj'smommy]

With my first and second pregnancies, I had a good drive in the 2nd trimester. This time around it's pretty much nothing. I crave the intimacy but well...just don't want to do it. DH is very understanding and patient so that helps a lot. I think because he is so understanding about it, I can surprise him once in awhile and keep us both happy!

[Sunshine4004]

I have zero sex drive as well. I feel bad for DH but I just can't make myself do it. Fortunately he says he is okay with this and feels like he is invading the baby's space. So both he and I are wierded out by it I guess.

[N8'sMom]

Yep me too. None whatsoever.
And I don't feel bad about it at all.
Hubs can just wait.

[Dillpicklechip]

Thanks everyone. It's good to know I'm not alone!

[New_Natural_Mom]

Same thing. I usually have a SUPER HIGH sd, but since I got pg we are down to zero. At 29 wks I was put on bedrest and told we CAN'T do anything, so that helped. In some ways it is poetic justice cuz now DH knows how I felt a lot of the time, but I still feel bad. I am worried that the drive will never return. I had to have perineal surgery a few years ago and it took me 9 mos to recover, so we are both worried it will be another 9 mos before we can try again. But I want to want to if that makes any sense.

I give him a helping hand every so often IYKWIM, but I know he wants the action.

[dianna11]

Wow, okay this is very good to read! I posted this exact question several months ago, and most people responded with "well, I'm just to tired", or "we aren't 'allowed to' have sex because of ___ right now" etc. I think only one person said that their sex drive had greatly diminished.

From what seemed the minute I got pregnant, my sex drive was completely gone, and I was unable to have an orgasm (it's usually not too hard for me otherwise). Although my poor girl bits are a little sore (4 days postpartum), and I can't imagine sex right now, I do hope my sex drive returns soon!

[mommyddeville]

I'm in the exact same situation. For my first two pregnancies, sex was ok. Never something I really had a drive for, but I could enjoy it. This time, it repulses me, and it hurts. I've tried really getting in the mood, but no. It's just SO gross to me. Poor DH. He's really, really understanding about it, though.

[thefragile7393]

This and the first one I'm having it. Both times I think it's because I was/am so stressed out with everything that it kills my drive :eyesroll