Where are you in your path to conception (again) after a loss? Let's support each other.

[Olerica]

Well, I'll stick my head out here and start the threads off.

I'm 37, married 10 years and working on baby #1.1. We had a loss in December. That pregnancy was the first that I'd had a positive pregnancy test on. Baby was lost at 9 weeks.

I really work on staying positive while honoring my feelings of hurt, abandonment, worry that I'll never be a mom. I don't know how well I do, but I want to do well.

Not to be closed, but sometimes it's difficult for me to read other's loss stories. My own pain is not something that I want to refreshen. I have grieved for a number of deaths and hope and rememberance is where I'd like to be now. Some days, though the grief of my own losses (not just babies) is rather overwhelming.

Where are you in your path to conception (again) after a loss? Let's support each other.

[DreamsInDigital]

We lost our fifth pregnancy. We have 4 living, wonderful children. I miscarried at 13 weeks and 5 days.

We are actively TTC this cycle. There's a small part of me that struggles with that.

[Chic_Mama]

This is our second official month TTC since our loss of Micah in November at 10 1/2 weeks. It is hard starting to see all of my friends who were pregnant when I was having their babies. I have been soooo okay for the last few months but righ tnow I am having a hard time. I really thought i would be pregnant again by June and it doesn't look like that is happening.

[BlissfullyLoving]

We are working on our second. We started trying in October last year. I got pregnant in December. We lost that baby in January. We have been trying since late February early march. I am still in my second postpartum cycle.

Olerica, I know exactly what you mean about not being able to read other people's stories of loss. I never ventured out of the hope, healing and concieving again thread for that reason. It was too easy for me to get really depressed and completely identified with my loss.

[Amydoula]

I have to say I really really like that when I logged on today I noticed we have our own forum now!!

About me: I'll be 31 next month, DH is 33, will be 34 in November. We had a loss at 7.5 weeks in October of 1999. Then it took over a year to get pregnant with my now DS. We waited a long time to be ready for a second child but decided it was the right time this past summer. Started "trying" in August of 2007 and got pregnant in October 2007, had a missed miscarriage at almost 12 weeks, with a D&C on January 4th 2008. We waited two menstral cycles and are slowly back at it again. My DH is having some health problems that make us not able to be as "active" right now but we give it a go each month. I am in the tww of the second month trying.

We are doing raw juice and I'm taking a bunch of supplements in hopes to get pregnant again with a sticky baby.

Emotionally I'm all over the place, depends on the day and the moment sometimes.

[Kayda's Mom]

Somebody had to ask this question today...

I'm 41, DH is 35. I have a DD9 from a previous marriage. I have DD15 months with DH.

Got pregnant in December and lost the baby in March.

I have been a mess since.
I have had two PP periods now. My cycle has returned to normal and I appear to be ovulating.

My mood swings are horrid. Not 100% sure what is causing it. Today I am super angry with DH and thinking about throwing in the towel with TTC. He is sick of my depression and negativity and doesn't want to bring another child into the world in that environment. Which in turn makes me even more depressed.

I am CD6 so there is no reason for me to be feeling so cr*ppy.

[Red_Lil_Mamma]

I'm 34. DH is 40. We have no little ones yet. We conceive really fast. It's getting our spouts to stick that's a problem. I had two m/c's. They both were very early (5 and 6 weeks). It'd be easier if I didn't get such heavy symptoms when I got pregnant and m/c. I've never had back problems until all this. After each m/c I get clenching back pain during my sleep that lasts for a month or two.

This past time (May) was as tough as the first, but one good thing came out of it. We finally found a great doctor. She just found out in my bloodwork that my progesterone is borderline low, and after I have my first cycle we will have a hysterosonogram to double-check on some uterine polyps. If they are bigger than last time, I'll have a hysteroscopy. If not, we'll leave things be.

Either way, we're going to start TTC again in July. I'm hoping to get myself healthy and in better shape before we try again. The next time it happens, though, my doctor is going to prescribe progesterone.

[Chic_Mama]

Somebody had to ask this question today...

I'm 41, DH is 35. I have a DD9 from a previous marriage. I have DD15 months with DH.

Got pregnant in December and lost the baby in March.

I have been a mess since.
I have had two PP periods now. My cycle has returned to normal and I appear to be ovulating.

My mood swings are horrid. Not 100% sure what is causing it. Today I am super angry with DH and thinking about throwing in the towel with TTC. He is sick of my depression and negativity and doesn't want to bring another child into the world in that environment. Which in turn makes me even more depressed.

I am CD6 so there is no reason for me to be feeling so cr*ppy.

Well, that isn't completely true- you do have a reason, you are postpartum. You still have to deal with all of the emotions and forgetfulness and hair loss that full term mothers do, you just don't have the baby which makes it suck WAY more!!! I have been feeling this lately and I have had to remind myself, "Hey, it is okay- I would have grace with myself if I had a new baby I need to have that same grace now."

Make sure that your DH knows that too- you have medical reason to be crazy!!! I mean- it only happened two months ago!! Tell him to get a grip and have some sympathy! Instead of complaining about your emotions why doesn't he go buy you a card, flowers and a BIG box of chocolates!

[perl]

Yeah, I seriously can't *believe* how wretched those hormones were after the m/c. I was a complete raving lunatic. I even went back to my psychiatrist for a "tune up" and 1.5 weeks after I saw him I was fine. I mean, still feeling twinges of sadness and missing being p/g and a bit frustrated with the whole situation but not a complete WRECK like I had been before.

Whew. It was a wild ride. Anyway, I hit the big 35 last month so am starting to feel the pressure, as well as really wanting to have a sibling relatively close in age to DS (age 3.5).

I"m excited to have this forum, too! And many thanks, Olerica, for starting this thread. I like how you said that remembrance is where you want to be now. Me, too. I really want to go and support others on the loss forum but sometimes it brings back painful stuff that I'd rather not dredge up. ((sigh))

[concadmom2]

I'm 36, DH is 45. We have two awesome sons who will be 4 and 6 in June that we conceived without really trying.

We conceived again in January this year my first cycle after going off the pill. I miscarried at 6 weeks in mid-Feb. My cycles are finally getting normal again, and I had good CM this month and I think I ovulated yesterday. We are sort of TTC, but just basically taking small steps and seeing what happens, as we are still recuperating from the recent loss.

I also have had some health scares since having my last two babies, which has resulted in the large span of time between our last child and TTC this one. We were just starting to think about TTC when my youngest (now 4) was 18 months. I had a series of abnormal paps, which resulted in having a LEEP on my cervix in March 07. I also had a breast biopsy done in Feb. 07, which was benign.

I'm going for a progesterone screen this week to see if that is okay. My prog. was only 2 when I lost the baby in Feb.

I look forward to chatting with others about their experiences. Sending you all baby vibes!!!

[mel_rak]

I'm 31, my DH is 31. We have 2 amazing boys, ages 3 and 5. TTC since Sept. 2007. Got pregnant and miscarried in January at almost 10 weeks. Had a D&C, which was emotionally difficult for me... finally ready to try again, we got pregnant first try in April. Just miscarried at 5 weeks.. back to the hospital on Tuesday, no D&C this time... a relief. But emotionally... I'm exhausted.

I see you guys posting about progesterone testing... Can you help me?? My doctor hasn't done any of that.. Just one test after this one and she said it was low (I don't know the number), but she said it was normal to have low progesterone in early pregnancy. Is there testing I can do now to prevent this from happening again???

Any other testing you have done???

Many thanks!

[veganmama719]

I'll be 41 tomorrow and we have 2 great kids who we conceived easily in my mid-thirties (4 cycles and 1 cycle respectively). We were very lucky.

Now I just get the doom and gloom from the RE about how I better "move on" to injectibles and IUI or IVF "right away".

4 days after that wretched appointment in January I got PG naturally. It was a blighted ovum that I m/c at 7w1d.

It was a natural, uncomplicated m/c.

However my cycles since the m/c are really wonky. Both my LPs were 10 days, instead of my usual 14. I am o-ing a couple of days later than "normal" and my LP this months looks like it might be only 8 days! My temp dropped WAY below coverline this morning which usually happens the day before AF shows up. Scary! My post-O temps have been very low all week too. Something weird is going on.

[Olerica]

I'll be 41 tomorrow and we have 2 great kids who we conceived easily in my mid-thirties (4 cycles and 1 cycle respectively). We were very lucky.

Now I just get the doom and gloom from the RE about how I better "move on" to injectibles and IUI or IVF "right away".

4 days after that wretched appointment in January I got PG naturally. It was a blighted ovum that I m/c at 7w1d.

It was a natural, uncomplicated m/c.

However my cycles since the m/c are really wonky. Both my LPs were 10 days, instead of my usual 14. I am o-ing a couple of days later than "normal" and my LP this months looks like it might be only 8 days! My temp dropped WAY below coverline this morning which usually happens the day before AF shows up. Scary! My post-O temps have been very low all week too. Something weird is going on.

You know, regarding the RE who wants you to start IUI/IVF right away... it always strikes me as a car mechanic who when you go to them to say you need new brakes and new tires they say let me take you 'round back - I'm also a car salesman. Seems like 9 times out of 10 a surgeon will tell you cutting is the best option.

I don't really know what I'm talking about though, really, but I am a little suspicious.

My temps are weird this cycle too. Happily we are setting this one out and I think it's related to an 11 day respiratory illness/flu and a rather stressful couple of weeks.... I think that it's all connected, you know?

Well, Happy Mothers day to all of you, all of us. Hope you are getting the care, love and attention you need today.

[Amydoula]

I'll be 41 tomorrow and we have 2 great kids who we conceived easily in my mid-thirties (4 cycles and 1 cycle respectively). We were very lucky.

Now I just get the doom and gloom from the RE about how I better "move on" to injectibles and IUI or IVF "right away".

4 days after that wretched appointment in January I got PG naturally. It was a blighted ovum that I m/c at 7w1d.

It was a natural, uncomplicated m/c.

However my cycles since the m/c are really wonky. Both my LPs were 10 days, instead of my usual 14. I am o-ing a couple of days later than "normal" and my LP this months looks like it might be only 8 days! My temp dropped WAY below coverline this morning which usually happens the day before AF shows up. Scary! My post-O temps have been very low all week too. Something weird is going on.

My first two cycles after my D&C were very long and I don't think I ovulated on either one. One cycle was 38 days and one 35 (normal for me is 29-30). This past cycle was 29 days and I had a +OPK on CD15 so I know I am finally back to normal. It takes time. I'd start up some EPO, fish oil(oops just noticed your name, maybe flax oil for you) and B-complex I really think they helped me get back to normal.

[BlissfullyLoving]

My first two cycles after my D&C were very long and I don't think I ovulated on either one. One cycle was 38 days and one 35 (normal for me is 29-30). This past cycle was 29 days and I had a +OPK on CD15 so I know I am finally back to normal. It takes time. I'd start up some EPO, fish oil(oops just noticed your name, maybe flax oil for you) and B-complex I really think they helped me get back to normal.
Can you tell me what EPO is? I see it here and there, and I do not know what it stands for. Thanks!

[Amydoula]

Can you tell me what EPO is? I see it here and there, and I do not know what it stands for. Thanks!

Yes! Happy to help. It is evening primrose oil taken in the first half of your cycle. You start on CD1 and end when you O. It helps amazingly with cervical mucus, I've also found it to help my PMS. You can google it and find out all kinds of things. It isn't safe for pregnancy, can bring on contractions so you stop it at O. I then switch over to the fish oil for the second half of my cycle.

[BlissfullyLoving]

Oh, thanks! I did take it at the end of my pregnancy with ds. Our midwife recommended taking it because it helps ripen the cervix. I did not realize it helped with cm. I might pick up some because my cm was lacking this last cycle.

[erin_brycesmom]

I'm 29 (for 3 more months) and have been married for almost 8 years. We have 2 living children and lost our 3rd child at 18wks 3dys. It took us over 15 months to conceive the baby we lost so I'm really hoping we can get pregnant much faster this time.

It has been about 4 weeks since the loss but my first AF came 2 weeks ago. I felt myself ovulate on Sat and have been having some spotting since then which has me a bit baffled.

I'm pretty much totally obsessed with getting pregnant as soon as physically possible.

[Olerica]

VEGAN MAMA: I totally missed this yesterday (so self involved am I): HAPPY BIRTHDAY! :balloons :birthday: :baloons

I hope you get what you are wishing for most this year!

[labortrials]

Phew, I'm so glad we have our own forum area!

Well, I'm on some sort of nightmarish journey. Sorry if this upsets anyone's "chi".

I've lost three pregnancies in the 1st tri this past year. No real good reasons why. Standard bloodwork comes back fine. I don't have a doc here who gives much nod at progesterone deficiency. Recent HSG showed some sort of congenital defect in my uterus which was a huge surprise for me.

I'll be in Denver for June & July and plan on seeing a RE who has experience hopefully with Mullerian Anomalies. Depending on the outcome, we'll ttc again in August.

I see you guys posting about progesterone testing... Can you help me?? My doctor hasn't done any of that.. Just one test after this one and she said it was low (I don't know the number), but she said it was normal to have low progesterone in early pregnancy. Is there testing I can do now to prevent this from happening again???

Any other testing you have done???

Many thanks!
I have YET to have someone check my progesterone level. :irked: Still on the hunt to find someone who will help me there.

Otherwise, you might investigate testing for blood clotting disorders and other immunologic causes of miscarriage.

I'm pretty much totally obsessed with getting pregnant as soon as physically possible.
LoL, I hear ya!! BTW, I have spotted the cycle following each of my losses. I myself will wait until things physically calm down before I ttc again. Well, and I'm pursuing 2nd opinions.

Hey another question for you all - WHY OH WHY is my lower abdomen still a bit sore? I had a D&C in late Feb, and it still feels tender off & on . . . It's really scary. :(

[Chic_Mama]

I'm 29 (for 3 more months) and have been married for almost 8 years. We have 2 living children and lost our 3rd child at 18wks 3dys. It took us over 15 months to conceive the baby we lost so I'm really hoping we can get pregnant much faster this time.

It has been about 4 weeks since the loss but my first AF came 2 weeks ago. I felt myself ovulate on Sat and have been having some spotting since then which has me a bit baffled.

I'm pretty much totally obsessed with getting pregnant as soon as physically possible.

It can take a while for your cycles to get back to normal. I know that I experienced a lot of spotting in my first cycle after my m/c. It is your body's way of completely clearing out the uterus and making sure that it is healthy again. Give your body some time to heal and prepare for another pregnancy.

[erin_brycesmom]

It can take a while for your cycles to get back to normal. I know that I experienced a lot of spotting in my first cycle after my m/c. It is your body's way of completely clearing out the uterus and making sure that it is healthy again. Give your body some time to heal and prepare for another pregnancy.

I'm afraid that you and labortrials are right about that :gloomy::bawl:crying:crap:( i really really don't want to wait any longer...I've already waited 2 years

[veganmama719]

I had some spotting the cycle after the m/c too and I never spot. Then I had some AGAIN this weekend. Just the tiniest amount on my 3rd cycle since the m/c.
Very odd, I guess it does take our bodies a while!

Thanks for the advice AmyDoula, you are so sweet. I do actually take all that stuff (flax seed oil for me, you are right!) but I am sure someone els will benefit from that too!

Big hugs mamas and thanks for the birthday wishes!

[erin_brycesmom]

Hey another question for you all - WHY OH WHY is my lower abdomen still a bit sore? I had a D&C in late Feb, and it still feels tender off & on . . . It's really scary.

I'm so sorry mama. I don't know what would cause that. I haven't really noticed any tenderness. Do you do any stomach exercises or anything else that might be related?

[erin_brycesmom]

Happy Birthday Veganmama - I hope you are enjoying your special day!!

[labortrials]

I'm so sorry mama. I don't know what would cause that. I haven't really noticed any tenderness. Do you do any stomach exercises or anything else that might be related?
No, I can't think of anything. Maybe I'm just paranoid b/c I know she palpated my c/s scar! :angry But I swear I feel not quite right underneath & behind the scar. :(

Ah, just got back from the psychologist. He told me a lot of stuff I needed to hear but don't want to hear. He called me stubborn (he wasn't being rude or anything, I promise). He's actually quite sympathetic . . . or as sympathetic as any man probably CAN be . . .

So, he told me to schedule ONE THING (at least) every day that goes in the "self care" category. I have to write it down in my planner/calendar and actually DO IT. Hmm, motivation - nonexistent . .

[muffie]

Hi. I am so happy to find a category for me. I haven't been back here since we conceived our baby last July. We lost her at 21 weeks gestation in November, and now are TTC again. Mother's day was hard. I had so many friends that were pregnant at the same time as me, and they all--3 of them--had healthy baby girls within a few weeks of my baby's due date.

It took us about 12 months to conceive our first and now I am waiting...it is so hard to count the days again! I am really hopeful but of course we all know how it feels to have our hopes dashed!

muffie

[Leav97]

I have 1 DD that is almost 4. I had a loss the end of Feb. Currently, I'm working on getting my PCOS better under control and trying to get rid of some reoccuring infections. It seems to be working. We are "kind of" trying this month but, won't be doing Clomid until at least next month. I won't do clomid until I know I'm infection free.

I'm really hopping to be pregnant by the EDD of the baby we lost. But, it to 2 YEARS to conceive the baby we lost and 5 YEARS to conceive my DD.

[apmama2myboo]

this thread is a great idea.
I am 35, dh is is 35. we had a pregnancy when I was 23, but there were complications from the very beginning. first they thought it was causing me to bleed because it was ectopic. then they thought blighted ovum. then finally at around 8 weeks they found a heartbeat, but it was only about 65 bpm. i was still bleeding every day, passing out from the blood loss, every other day i was in the ER hooked up to an IV for rehydration and still bleeding like i was going to die. it was terrible. the doc i had at the time, i later discovered, was a religious nut and he had such devout belief that the fetuses should live that he didn't care at what cost to the mother. i was young and dumb and didn't think to ask for a different doctor, as it was i was a poor college kid with no insurance who had to go on medicaid for any care in the first place. i ended up waiting til 12 weeks so i could have the termination, despite the ER visits and the bleeding and the passing out. it was traumatic and terrible. We conceived our dd, who is now four, after I had been on 6 months of lupron depot for endometriosis. i got pg with our son and lost him last november at almost 20 weeks, because of a series of colds an infections i had had that transmitted to him. we are ttc again, and have been, since getting my cycles straighted back out (reset by provera pills for 10 days after spotting after the d&c wouldn't stop). i had a UTI two months ago during O time, and then last month was dh's grandma passing away during O time. This month, I had my first night away from our daughter since her birth as she stayed with my parents while dh and i got a hotel room at the same place we had our wedding reception 10 years ago. it was romantic, and during O time. we're still working on it. I hope to get pregnant this month, really hope for it. I am eating better than ever and exercising daily....if only my body would cooperate :(

so that's my story, thats where I am right now.

[JenMidwife]

I'm 29, dh is 30. My dd will be 2 in August. She was conceived on cycle #2 of no condoms & I had an uncomplicated pg w/ her. No post-partum AF w/ her ("extended" breastfeeding)... dh & I decided to stop using condoms around the time she was 13 or 14 mo. We figured I wasn't ovulating & it might take quite awhile to conceive #2. Much to our surprise, we caught the first egg! I never had AF b/w #1 & #2 (it was bliss I tell you!).

Started bleeding around 13 or 14 weeks w/ #2. Was diagnosed w/ a large sub-chorionic hemorrhage/hematoma & was as prepared as I ever could have been to m/c. But baby hung on & grew & grew. I bleed (sometimes quite heavily) ever.single.day until the blood irritated my uterus so much that it caused true labor & we lost Owen @ 22 weeks & 5 days gestation.

Owen's birth was unremarkable medically & I was so thankful I didn't have to have a d&c for retained placenta as often happens w/ preterm births. So we just waited once cycle before ttc- this is my first cycle ttc right now (May). I'm as ready as I'll ever be for ttc (though I know there will be difficult times, emotionally, I can't wait to be pg again!) & dh is ready too (though no pressure from him either way).

Since I've gotten pg so easily previously, I'm hopeful that it will happen easily again. But I'm so jaded now... I kind of feel like the universe is going to f*ck me & it will take a long time to conceive or I'll have a 1st tri loss since I've never had one before. Sigh...

All in all though, I am doing pretty well so far. So glad I have you all here who understand :hug

[veganmama719]

Jen, I'm so very sorry. :grouphug

[~Mamaterra~]

I don't know where I am on this journey or if I even belong here....

I'm 37 and dh is 29 and last week was my 5th m/c in 14 months. I swore that I couldn't do this anymore but I find my mind wanting to and reading these forums. Maybe because I have just been trying to have our 4th (and last) baby so bad, it has become habitual.

I know that I am going to take the summer off to get my marriage and my body back together.

I notice that the vast majority of the pp are in their mid to late 30's/early 40s'. How many of you have read Jon Cohens' Coming to Term. What if we are the 48% of "habitual aborters" (just gotta love that term) that will continue to miscarry because of our age? That is a statistic that I am having a hard time coming to terms with...

Our latest baby was spot on perfect and everyone is stunned that this little one died. We are suspecting that it was a amniotic infection but we will see what the results prove.

Sorry about my ramblings......I guess that is a perfect description of where I am at emotionally.....ramblings.

[BlissfullyLoving]

I don't know where I am on this journey or if I even belong here....

I'm 37 and dh is 29 and last week was my 5th m/c in 14 months. I swore that I couldn't do this anymore but I find my mind wanting to and reading these forums. Maybe because I have just been trying to have our 4th (and last) baby so bad, it has become habitual.

I know that I am going to take the summer off to get my marriage and my body back together.

I notice that the vast majority of the pp are in their mid to late 30's/early 40s'. How many of you have read Jon Cohens' Coming to Term. What if we are the 48% of "habitual aborters" (just gotta love that term) that will continue to miscarry because of our age? That is a statistic that I am having a hard time coming to terms with...

Our latest baby was spot on perfect and everyone is stunned that this little one died. We are suspecting that it was a amniotic infection but we will see what the results prove.

Sorry about my ramblings......I guess that is a perfect description of where I am at emotionally.....ramblings.:Hug I am so sorry.

[JenMidwife]

I don't know where I am on this journey or if I even belong here....

I'm 37 and dh is 29 and last week was my 5th m/c in 14 months. I swore that I couldn't do this anymore but I find my mind wanting to and reading these forums. Maybe because I have just been trying to have our 4th (and last) baby so bad, it has become habitual.

I know that I am going to take the summer off to get my marriage and my body back together.

I notice that the vast majority of the pp are in their mid to late 30's/early 40s'. How many of you have read Jon Cohens' Coming to Term. What if we are the 48% of "habitual aborters" (just gotta love that term) that will continue to miscarry because of our age? That is a statistic that I am having a hard time coming to terms with...

Our latest baby was spot on perfect and everyone is stunned that this little one died. We are suspecting that it was a amniotic infection but we will see what the results prove.

Sorry about my ramblings......I guess that is a perfect description of where I am at emotionally.....ramblings.

Oh mama, I'm so sorry for your losses & sorry that there's no quick fix :crying

[Olerica]

I don't know where I am on this journey or if I even belong here....

I'm 37 and dh is 29 and last week was my 5th m/c in 14 months. I swore that I couldn't do this anymore but I find my mind wanting to and reading these forums. Maybe because I have just been trying to have our 4th (and last) baby so bad, it has become habitual.

I know that I am going to take the summer off to get my marriage and my body back together.

I notice that the vast majority of the pp are in their mid to late 30's/early 40s'. How many of you have read Jon Cohens' Coming to Term. What if we are the 48% of "habitual aborters" (just gotta love that term) that will continue to miscarry because of our age? That is a statistic that I am having a hard time coming to terms with...

Our latest baby was spot on perfect and everyone is stunned that this little one died. We are suspecting that it was a amniotic infection but we will see what the results prove.

Sorry about my ramblings......I guess that is a perfect description of where I am at emotionally.....ramblings.

I'm so sorry for your losses, I don't know what else to say about that. :Hug

Personally, I've been working on coming to a positive place, not the GD "relax" thing that people always say, but to a place where I can see and feel to then experience a healthy pregnancy and baby.

Not sure who, but someone on the boards mentioned the book "The Fertile Female" by Julia Indichova. Got it on Friday and read about 1/4 of it over the weekend. I'm not really sure how, or why, but the switch on my heart got flipped to positive.

I'm sure we'd all take something different away from the reading, but I guess it just confirmed that I need to get MY mind/body connection working for me and generating the positive flow of expectations - though I am talking about something deeper than "positive thinking".

I'm sure I'm not explaining this well, but I am believing again in possible probability in spite of my experience.

[Quate]

Can I post here too? I just lost my first little one last week. It took us 7 cycles to conceive ... if things had gone according to plan, I would be due within a month or two I guess. Now, in addition to grieving the loss, I'm also feeling frustrated at the thought of waiting even longer. I'm afraid it will take us another 7 months or more to conceive again. I'm afraid that we'll lose the next one too. I'm afraid that we won't ever be able to have children. I know these fears aren't rational. We know now that we can conceive--something we didn't know before. There was no indication that there were any physical problems that caused the miscarriage. A few days ago I was feeling really hopeful at the thought of trying again. But this is where I am today.

[BlissfullyLoving]

Can I post here too? I just lost my first little one last week. It took us 7 cycles to conceive ... if things had gone according to plan, I would be due within a month or two I guess. Now, in addition to grieving the loss, I'm also feeling frustrated at the thought of waiting even longer. I'm afraid it will take us another 7 months or more to conceive again. I'm afraid that we'll lose the next one too. I'm afraid that we won't ever be able to have children. I know these fears aren't rational. We know now that we can conceive--something we didn't know before. There was no indication that there were any physical problems that caused the miscarriage. A few days ago I was feeling really hopeful at the thought of trying again. But this is where I am today.
:Hug I am so sorry for your loss.

[Quate]

Thanks. I appreciate the fact that I can post in a place people can understand, and I think I needed to say these things. But (in interest of bringing this thread back to a more positive place) I wanted to say that I'm feeling much more at peace today with what has been and what will be.

We plan to wait one cycle and then start trying again. Probably. Except we don't like any of our birth control options :p

[catballou24]

i just got af back today after miscarrying at 8 weeks on april 27th, we'd known it was going to happen for over a week before that though. i feel lucky that af came back so quickly, as i'm not a spring chicken. i'm 43 and don't feel i have alot of time left if i want to do this one more time. the m/c was really hard on us, but i am ready to try again and don't really feel i can wait several cycles. so we'll start with this one.

i am glad to have a place to come and share these emotions and thoughts while on this path. it's very scary to me to be honest...

anyway, i just wanted to drop in and give blessings and good baby vibes to everyone on this journey right now..

much love and light...

[lovbeingamommy]

i just got af back today after miscarrying at 8 weeks on april 27th, we'd known it was going to happen for over a week before that though. i feel lucky that af came back so quickly, as i'm not a spring chicken. i'm 43 and don't feel i have alot of time left if i want to do this one more time. the m/c was really hard on us, but i am ready to try again and don't really feel i can wait several cycles. so we'll start with this one.

i am glad to have a place to come and share these emotions and thoughts while on this path. it's very scary to me to be honest...

anyway, i just wanted to drop in and give blessings and good baby vibes to everyone on this journey right now..

much love and light...

OMG - I am in the exact same place as you. M/C'd and had the D&C on Apr.29th. I'm also 43 and really wanting to TTC SOON. I'm forcing myself to wait 2 cycles before trying again. I'm also doing massive body preparation so at least I know in my heart that I'm doing everything I can to make this next baby stick. Good luck to you and here's some :dust :D

[mamalibby]

I am 28, mama to one amazing 18 mo boy, still bfing. We have had two losses since January. The first one never felt "right" (I didn't want to tell anyone, and I suck at keeping secrets), and I didn't know about the second one until I woke up bleeding. No one should have to take an hpt with a cup of urine that is mostly blood. tmi, sorry.
just found out that my good friend is pg with her first and I am ashamed to say that I am jealous of her good fortune, but I soooo wish for all of you to be holding your babies very soon!

We are ttc, just had my second Af after the second loss, starting to chart and am armed with a big fat supply of ovulation and pregnancy test strips. Getting ready to buy a whole bunch of lingerie to help us get in the mood, bc this month, I take no chances: every day, whether we want to or not!:wink

I want to be pregnant, I want a second chance at a natural birth after my c/s, I want my son to have a sibling close to his own age, I want to kiss little newborn toes and I want to be able to tell my DH that I am pregnant for his birthday (July 9)
:goodvibes:and:hug to all of you who are already mamas, even if you don't have your babies yet!

[momoftworedheads]

Hi,

I am 34, my Dh will be 35 in August. We have three boys and have been TTC #4 since 2005. We have had 4 losses. Three first tri and one second tri (16 weeks). I saw an RE in May and had a Clomid challenge last week and started Clomid Sunday. I go back to the RE Thursday for an u/s and other tests. Then we will TTC this month. I am hoping, wishing, and praying that this is our month.

Lots of luck and love to all!

Jen

[fuel1316]

hi im 25 and just lost my & DH first baby at 5 weeks, we got pregnant the first month we tryed and hoping now that we are ttc again it goes that fast!

[Olerica]

Fuel - I am so sorry for your loss. I hope that you are able to concieve quickly too.

I don't know if I shared this on this thread or not, but I've been reading "The Fertile Female: How the power for longing for a child can save your life and change the world."

I've never been diagnosed with infertility, and I'm not terrifically old (soon to be 38) but something in this book is just resonating with me. Something in me is just resonating with hope.

I guess that I just wanted to share the book's availability to others, and encourage it being read.

[heatherh]

Both DH and I are in our early 30s. It took us 7 cycles the first time and 8 cycles the second time (with some thyroid issues we believe started after the first m/c).

So Quate, I can SO relate to this:
I'm afraid it will take us another 7 months or more to conceive again. I'm afraid that we'll lose the next one too. I'm afraid that we won't ever be able to have children. I know these fears aren't rational. We know now that we can conceive--something we didn't know before.

So where I'm at now... waiting for the m/c to complete. We found out 2 weeks ago and still nothing but blood. I'm already scared we won't be able to get pg again for months. I'm scared my thyroid will be wacky and cause another m/c. I go back and forth - I feel optimistic for a day then down in the dumps crappy for a few days then more or less OK for a while.

[major bedhead]

Thank you for this thread, and gentle hugs to all the women here.

We're TTC #3. We have two wonderful boys. I fell pregnant the first month of trying with each of my three pregnancies and considered myself blessed in that regard, even though my pregnancy with my youngest was a difficult one.

I lost our last baby in January of 2007 at 9 weeks. We took some time for thought, and started TTC again in November, 2007. With my difficulties in my youngest's pregnancy, plus the miscarriage, and now not having any success in TTC, I can't help but wonder whether I should accept that my family is complete, but that isn't what my heart is telling me. We are both 36, which is not old by any means, but is a world of difference, apparently, from being 30 or 32 and TTC, as I'm finding out.

[mel_rak]

major bedhead just wanted to say hello, I haven't checked this thread for a while, but keep up with others daily. I am 31 years old, it's not any easier :( I have two boys just like you. Similiar in age. Both were easy pregnancies. TTC #3 Got pregnant, miscarried in January 8th at just over 9 weeks. Had a D&C. Waited three months, got pregnant again, miscarried and now am on Progesterone and in my 2ww. I has been a very long year. Good luck to you, baby dust to you...

[Storm Bride]

This is my first time to this forum...

I've been through the ttc after a loss before, but this time is the hardest. I have three living children (b. '93, '03 and '05), plus four lost ones (m/c in '97, '98 and '00, plus my stillborn son in November). I sometimes feel as though I've spent my entire adult life just trying to complete my family.

DH left the call on having another baby after Aaron up to me. I knew I wanted one, but I'm pretty freaked out. My babies have all been c-sections, and I'm worried about how well I'll cope with going through that again, as well as fear over losing my child at any point in the pregnancy. Despite all that, we'll be starting to ttc this cycle - so in about two weeks. We won't be using any birth control again, so we'll see what happens.

In my case, I just wanted to bounce back enough physically and emotionally, and I think I'm there. I'm hoping we'll be as fortunate with conception as we have in the past (my difficulties were with my ex, not with dh).

[seafox]

hi im 25 and just lost my & DH first baby at 5 weeks, we got pregnant the first month we tryed and hoping now that we are ttc again it goes that fast!


I am in the same boat - although I am 31, I was surprised that it was pretty easy to get pregnant, but I am (or was, not sure how things are going to be post-m/c) very regular and have very distinctive ovulation pain so it made timing things pretty easy. I was off BC for three months, but we only really tried the third month since the mr. was out of town the second month and the first month I didn't think I ovulated (no pain).

I lost my the baby at 7.5w, but didn't find out until 12w at my first u/s. I had a D&C last Thursday. I am patiently going through the first month post-m/c and trying not to want to try to conceive, its hard to be patient! I figure Ill drink some dong quai tea, keep taking the prenatals I was taking, continue not drinking coffee and alcohol, and hopefully my even more healthy body than usual will conceive quickly again.

I worry that Ill have another, I also worry that I won't relax next time since its going to be so hard to do earlier u/s (I have a very tipped uterus) and the possibility of them not finding heartbeats and the like before 12w is pretty high, from what I can tell. I am retroflexed and retroverted. The misdiagnosed miscarriage site kind of freaked me out, I'm guessing there's no way though with this one at least, at 12w they should see a baby, even with a tipped uterus. Still though, it doesn't look like an 8w u/s would be that helpful.

What's making this hard is two friends who got pregnant around the same time as me (both were 3 weeks ahead) who are fine and going strong. That's been the toughest, even realizing I can try again, and hopefully will conceive quickly, I was looking forward to a January baby, I had just started to work my life around this trajectory since I was coming up on 12w I assumed nothing was wrong. So its just a shock to get so derailed and watch others continue on.

[CityChic]

This is an amazing thread, so glad someone started it.

We are in the "don't know what to do phase" as our loss is still recent. Our MW said we only had to wait one cycle and then we could try again. The thing is that DH and I both get stressed when it comes to "trying" and have decided not to go that route.

Recently we have been thinking about not trying and not preventing and let nature take its course. I feel like deep down we will not be blessed with another pregnancy until the "time is right". Logically I feel like we are being stuipd teenagers by not protecting ourselves...

Has anyone not tried and not prevented? What was the outcome.

Lots of :hug to you all.

[Leav97]

Has anyone not tried and not prevented? What was the outcome.



I've gone this route. It is less stressful. But, I have PCOS and conceiving is very difficult for me. I can go years without preventing and not get pregnant.

[joannamf]

I'm Joanna, 22, and we lost our first baby at 9 1/2 weeks after concieving "him" on or around our wedding day. It was such a blessing and we couldn't wait to meet our new addition. Sadly, at 9 weeks, I had some bleeding (very minimal though/one swipe) I rushed to the hospital and had an ultrasound which found a great heartbeat at 180. The ultrasound tech. noted a small abnormality in the babies chest. There were two black patches that were apparently, fluid filled. We were told it was something we should just make sure we mention to another doctor in the future. Word for word, we were told, "this is not a problem with your baby going to term, this is def. a viable pregnancy". Needless to say, two days later at the ultrasound specialist's office, we were told our baby's heart was no longer beating. After having a D&C May 13th, we are now using the CBFM to monitor my cycles and we're going to try to concieve near Dec. I want to immediately but DH isn't ready.

[JenMidwife]

Recently we have been thinking about not trying and not preventing and let nature take its course. I feel like deep down we will not be blessed with another pregnancy until the "time is right". Logically I feel like we are being stuipd teenagers by not protecting ourselves...

Has anyone not tried and not prevented? What was the outcome.

That makes a lot of sense to me.

my 2yo was conceived the 2nd month after we stopped using condoms. The first month we "tried" & dtd every other day around the time I thought I would ovulate (I wasn't charting or anything). Didn't conceive that month. The next month I have a raging yeast infection & he has excruciating jock itch (not sure who gave it to who!)... neither one of us wanted to come near each other w/ a 10 foot pole. I think we *might* have dtd twice that month (w/o paying any attention to the calendar) & wouldn't you know it, that's when we got pg.

my 2nd pg (that we lost) was conceived when we caught the first egg after dd was born. She was 14 or 15 months old & I still had not had a period (from nursing). We were ready to for another one but figured I wasn't ovulating yet.

So yeah, especially is you've gotten pregnant easily in the past, I think not "trying" but not preventing is a great strategy.

Good luck mama!

[lunarmagic]

Well, we are actively trying. But I'm feeling very negative about it this month. My boy was stillborn at 36 weeks, and to get pregnant with him was a long, rough journey (nearly two years, several IUIs, medications, and finally two fresh IVF cycles). I feel like we're idiots for thinking that we're going to magically get pregnant the old-fashioned way after everything we went through last time. And yet here we are... timed intercourse, and me freaking out each 2ww.

I'm only on my third cycle post-partum. AF took a while to return after I gave birth (9 weeks). I'm extremely impatient and cranky about all of it. Feeling very negative about life in general. We do have an appointment with the fertility specialist on Aug 1 though, so that gives me something to look forward to.

[happythistle]

thank you for this thread it was just what i needed....

we have a DS who is 2 (yikes!) and had a terrible time ttc. m/c, d&c, pid, my midwife was very worried my chances of conception were zero. she prescribed "get pregnant or have an hsg" - i came back to her with a +hpt.

this spring we had a surprise +hpt - no ttc, no charting, just natural. m/c at 8 weeks and it's been a long road to beating the depression. just now feeling lighter and more accepting.

DH does not want to ttc again and neither do i, however, we're not very good at tta either. guess we're just accepting of another "accident" if that's in the cards. i just can't go back to charting, temping, opks, it drove me nuts the 2 years we did it.

[Mama-Ana]

I'm new to this... a friend suggested I check it out. I appreciate reading other people's stories and knowing I'm not alone in this.

I was 12 weeks in mid June and went in for the Downs ultrasound test, they told me there was no heartbeat. I was shocked, I'd naively assumed I'd bleed if there was something wrong. Baby had died shortly after our first ultrasound at 8 weeks. I had a DnC. This was my first pregnancy. My hubby had been very uncertain about having kids for years and had caused a lot of tension in our marriage. We finally got to the place of not really "trying" but not doing anything to stop it. This was big for my dh. And then it happened and we were so excited and sadly now it's over. He was more upset about it than I thought, he'd accepted it and even loved it (after years of not wanting kids). We've grieved and seem to be moving forward.

I'm in the same boat as CityChic, not trying but not doing anything to prevent it either. I've gotten my period and everything seems to be back to normal. I really want it to happen again but I don't think dh will ever be okay with actually trying and taking temp and everything. It only took 3 months of trying/not trying before so I'm hoping it happens soon.

Thanks to everyone out there for their stories and advice.
p.s. I'm still learning what all the acronyms mean... :)

:flower:Ana, wife of DH (10 years on Sat!), mama to our little baba :yangel:06/13/08

[JenMidwife]

Ana, I'm sorry for your loss :Hug

[Mama-Ana]

Thanks Jen.

Does anyone know if those over the counter ovulation test kits really work? I've been thinking about trying one to see if what they say matches day 14 like I've been assuming. I think it might freak my dh out a little but I want to know that I ovulate around day 14 like I should and that there is nothing up with my cycle that might have influenced my miscarriage. Am I being paranoid?

:flower Ana, wife of DH (10 years on Sat!), mama to our little baba :yangel 06/13/08

[lunarmagic]

Ana, I am very sorry for your loss. I'm using those ovulation tests now, and yes they do work... usually. It depends on the brand and the woman, though. rands have different thresholds, and women have different hormone levels. But despite that, they can be helpful. I like to buy mine at Walmart - they are cheapest there.

[Sophiasmomma]

Ana IM sorry for your loss

Kayda's Mom -mY hormones are all over the place as well.. some days I feel great others Im mad and then I have the i dont care days.
some days Im thrilled to see a baby while other days I weep:(
Its def a PPD type thing for sure and I keep telling myself that I am intitled to have all of these feelings with the loss of a baby.

Hi Im Shelly 33 my DH is going to be 40 in Dec. we wer ehappy and fullfilled with 2 great kids (now 4 & 20 months) I have PCOS so I needed to take metformin to get pregnant. It took over a yr of tests and TTC to find that out.DD was concieved on cycle 1 with met. DS was concieved on cycle 2 with metformin.
My DH had just told me he didnt want any more children in the winter . I was sad but ok with the descion and since we NEVER used any protection in the 11 yrs together didnt think Id get pregnant on my own.. well I did and I was so nervous to tell DH (I was THRILLED) he was sooooo excited and happy from the moment I told him it almost felt like it was our first baby. My DD was sooo excited she was finally old enough to "get it" about having a baby.

well at my 13 weeks sono the baby had no HB. It died at 12 weeks...
I was devastated & heartbroken.
sooo Of course DH now we def need to have a 3rd.. it mad eus both realize how badly we really want more children (child)

I MC in late May Ive had 2 cycles since and now we are TTC again and Im back on Metformin which I was not on when I got pregnant last time..

[Mama-Ana]

Natalie - Thank you. I'm sorry for your loss also. I looked at Devin's memorial and it's beautiful. It made me cry. I made a baby book/journal of the story of our baby which has helped me grieve. You are so strong and thank you for sharing your experience with others. It helps me to know that I can get through this. :Hug
I went out and bought an ovu. kit and a basal thermometer. I haven't told DH yet but will. I just want to watch my cycle and make sure it's normal/average...

Shelly - I'm sorry for your loss. You seem positive and it's great you are going to try again. I hope it works out. :shamrock

[Sophiasmomma]

TY Ana- thats a great way to grieve.. I jsut have several sono pics and I actually had my baby cremated so I have his/her ashes as well:(
I just keep trying to see the "lesson or reason" and dont so I am trying to move foward



well Im hoping I "O"ed this cycle (not charting or OPKing this cycle) so we shall see...I did all that I could:D

[Ms. Cellaneous]

Hi,

I am new here too, and very grateful for a forum like this. We're actively trying to TTC but it's just so hard for me to relate to the experiences of those untouched by loss ... optimism is wonderful, and I want to have it, but it's just different when you've seen what happens when good thoughts don't protect you from the worst happening. Maybe I'm being melodramatic there, I don't know.

I found out at 10 weeks that the baby had stopped developing at 6 weeks. I never had a drop of blood, no indications anything was wrong. I had a D&C right after Thanksgiving. We've been trying since January & I'm starting to worry again.

So I've started using ovulation predictor kits -- for two cycles so far, both times got a positive result on day 13. Which surprised me because my cycle is short, 25-27 days, so I thought it would be sooner. I've started temping & charting on advice from my ob-gyn (who is so awesome, she's the one blessing to come out of all this so far). I had resisted charting before because I just wanted getting pregnant to be easy and effortless, like it is for so many other people -- I completely realize how stupid that sounds now, and now I feel stupid for wasting time not charting when I could have been learning about my cycle, but I guess I had to go through that irrationality in my own time. On the plus side, I am actually very excited now to see what happens to these little dots on a graph.

So, where am I on the journey... temping, beginner charting, trying, two-week-waiting at the moment, fingers crossed (& legs open - ha! a little TTC humour there, sorry), and most grateful I've found a group of women to share this journey with. Thanks, and sorry for the long post (I think I've stored this up for quite some time!)

[Olerica]

I'm struggling a little bit. I ovulate every cycle, we've been pretty good about bd-ing at the right times, still; we aren't pregnant.

I've decided to have some testing done. I am rather reluctant to go through it, but I'm 38. I want to hold a baby of my own. It's so tough.

[JenMidwife]

I'm struggling a little bit. I ovulate every cycle, we've been pretty good about bd-ing at the right times, still; we aren't pregnant.

I've decided to have some testing done. I am rather reluctant to go through it, but I'm 38. I want to hold a baby of my own. It's so tough.

:Hug I'm so sorry it hasn't happened for you :gloomy: It's so frustrating isn't it, when you can't think of one good reason why it's not happening. I hope you get some answers from the testing :hug

[Amydoula]

I'm struggling a little bit. I ovulate every cycle, we've been pretty good about bd-ing at the right times, still; we aren't pregnant.

I've decided to have some testing done. I am rather reluctant to go through it, but I'm 38. I want to hold a baby of my own. It's so tough.
I hope you get some answers soon!