In our 40s and due in January

[juneau]

Hi, I've noticed several of us are in our 40s, so I thought I'd start our own thread. Who else wants to jump in?

I'm 44 (will be 45 in Nov.) and due Jan. 14. I'm still nursing my 3-year-old dd.

Who have you told? I've told my midwife and perinatologist; other than that, I've been keeping quiet. It'll be the third time I've announced "I'm pregnant" this year and the successive losses seem to be hard for others to deal with. I'm hoping for a sticky, healthy babe this time!

OK, enough about me. How about you?
(Doulamomvicki, what's your "miscarriage protocol"?)

[Prism]

Can I join at 39???
I thought I was the oldest here so how relieved I was to see others in the "mature" age group gestating! I'm also nursing my 3yo.

I've only told friends who have been supportive of my not-so-excited state and have helped me with that. There is too much going on in my family right now to tell: my cousin (also age 39) just m/c a much wanted and tried for babe, and my bro and wife are pregnant w their first and I don't want to steal their lime-light. Their was a death in the family over the weekend and a wedding coming up and I'm expecting some flack from my MIL about having too many kids..............sorry to rant:o

[doulamomvicki]

:wave Juneau and Prism

I am 39, will be 40 in July. If this babe sticks it will be my 5th child. I am keeping this pregnancy quite too. I know all too well that having to explain a loss to many people makes it that much harder on me.

My OB prescribed vaginal progesterone, aspirin 81mg, prednisone 5mg 2x's day. I am not too happy taking all these meds but I am will to try anything at this point not to m/c.

Hoping and praying for a sticky babes for all of us :)

[juneau]

Hi Prism. Welcome! I'm sorry about your cousin; I know what that feels like, on the other end. Make sure you reach out to her especially when you tell the family your news. My SIL (we were pregnant at the same time; I lost my baby in the 2nd trimester) ignored me completely and I was so hurt by that. She wanted to spare my feelings but that's not how it felt to me. We still haven't forgiven each other and it's been almost 2 years.

Vicki, how long do you have to be on the prednisone? All the rest sounds OK but I think that would be tough to take for a long time.

Since my cycle was a canceled natural FET where I got pregnant anyway, I have a filled prescription for prometrium (oral progesterone) that I haven't been taking. I had bloodwork drawn last week to check HCG and progesterone, but the lab sends it out and the results haven't come back yet. And the doc has been decidedly lacksadaisical about a repeat blood draw. Luckily, I'm not spotting and having normal pregnancy symptoms so I'm not too worried about it. Still, I'd like to know.

Have you told your dc? I haven't told my dd yet.

[Prism]

Juneau, thanks for that tip about my cousin; I am hoping she will get pregnant and call me w the news and then I can tell her mine; but I will make sure to call her either way.

[juneau]

Hey Prism, where are you in the lovely Midwest? I am in northeastern Ohio.

[doulamomvicki]

I am going to be on prednisone until 22wks:(

I am not telling my dc's until I am at least 14wks. They are older and the prior m/c's were really tough on them.

[juneau]

22 weeks! Yikes! :hug

I got my HCG/P4 back, finally: 347 and 23.8, respectively, at 15 DPO. Pretty good for an ancient mama, I think. Going for a repeat draw tomorrow (and another LONG wait for results, I'm sure).

I'm not sure what to tell dd. She wasn't old enough to remember my first loss, and the two last summer were pretty brief pregnancies, so even though she knew about them, I don't think my losing them bothered her all that much.

But my nipples are SOOOO sore, and she keeps asking "Why, mama?" and I keep not answering. So I haven't told her. On the one hand, I want her to know; on the other hand, I'm not sure I'm ready for her to tell anyone else!

[Prism]

doulamomvicki that is a long time! You must be a great secret keeper?

Juneau I am in Illinois, home of midwife-hating doctors, haha.
I have a friend in Canton which may be close to you, though!

q: why all the level testing? just curious.

[juneau]

I used to live in Chicago...:) Canton is about an hour and a half from me, and it's near where my mom grew up.

I am having levels checked for a bunch of reasons. First of all, my last pregnancy was an ectopic that followed so closely after my previous miscarriage that my midwife didn't believe I was pregnant until my tube ruptured. That was somewhere between five and six weeks, with an HCG only around 2000.

My perinatologist wanted me to call on day one of a :+ so I did. Progesterone and HCG monitored until 6000, then an ultrasound to check uterine placement, and then, I hope, hands off for the rest of the pregnancy.

Secondly, this pregnancy happened when I was supposed to be having a natural (albeit progesterone-supplemented) frozen embryo transfer, and the cycle was canceled because my lining was too thin at transfer, and my estrogen was too low. I just want to make sure my old body is cranking out enough progesterone to keep this baby in, since I didn't actually take any of the supplements!

Also, I had three losses in a row and I'm just a little bit paranoid.

Dd has been bugging me SOOOO much today. I don't know if it's her or me or the combination of us both being just a bit more tired and cranky than usual, but I just can't stand it!!! Thank goodness dh is home from work this week or I don't know what I would do with myself. Just now I slammed my door and barricaded myself in my office. I'm contemplating just going to bed in here and not even trying to nurse her to sleep. Oy!

How are you coping with your other dcs these days?

[ktmama]

Hi Mamas! I don't know if I'll be here for long, but I do feel that I need some support today. I just turned 43 in April and had a m/c at 11 weeks in February. I'm due 1/18/09 with this babe, but just started spotting today!

I don't normally do any medical testing or interventions (I've had two homebirths and no ultrasounds until my m/c), so I guess I'll take another pg test if I keep bleeding, and hope upon hope that it stops soon. It's weird to be having pg symptoms while at the same time spotting. :(

[Prism]

oh ktmama, I am rooting for you and your little one!

[doulamomvicki]

Welcome ktmama! Praying for a :sticky for you and all of us. I had spotting with all my pregnancies that stuck. With the m/c's I started right with bright red blood.

Prism Actually, I am terrible at keeping secrets. Even my own:wink

Today my boobs are huge and killing me, I have heartburn/slight nausea and am dead tired. I have never been so happy to feel this way:thumb

[juneau]

Welcome, ktmama, I hope you have a healthy and happy nine months with us. I am sorry about the spotting. I know it's especially scary after a recent loss. :hug

[juneau]

bump!

[juneau]

How is everyone? Are you all still with us?

I'm traveling this week and just started having bad morning sickness. I threw up brushing my teeth yesterday; a low point. :( But it's all good. :) I have an ultrasound Tuesday, and am hopeful that I will hear good news. :fingersx:

[doulamomvicki]

Hey there! How is everyone doing? :love

juneau Traveling and m/s don't mix well. Hang in there:thumb

My hcg was 13127 at 5.3 Weeks - kind of high. I had a repeat Friday so we shall see

[juneau]

Actually, Vicki, that sounds about right. I had mine last drawn at 5 weeks and it was 3557. It was more than doubling in 48 hours at that point, so it would have been at least 16,000 by 5.4. A repeat draw is a good idea, though, you can't say anything from one number.

I am having such a hard time nursing dd (3). Latching on is so incredibly painful. I do everything to try to distract her. I hate doing it because she's sad about it (at least at bedtime, other times she doesn't seem to mind so much) but I just.can't.nurse her to sleep any more. I don't want to give up nursing entirely but once or twice a day would be enough for me (had been 6-8 times a day).

What are you doing to get through the nausea? I am eating as often as possible, starting with a glass of milk at 6 a.m. before going back to bed again. I haven't been much of a milk drinker for a long time but it's just what tastes good to me now.

[hockeylover]

Hi ladies. I just made it over here and finally poking around other threads. I know some of you from the TTC thread.

We haven't told anyone other than immediate family (although DH hasn't told his Dad or brother yet) and my closest friends who knew I was doing IVF to begin with. We go back for an U/S on June 2nd and then I think after that, with the doctor's approval, we'll start to tell people.

[juneau]

Welcome, hockeylover! How are you feeling these days? Is having twins ramping up the nausea?

I had a terrible day yesterday. Dry heaves when I woke up, and it didn't really get any better all day. And we had to drive 200+ miles. Miserable.

Another long drive ahead of us now but less than yesterday. And instead of nauseated mostly I feel fatigued today, which is a huge improvement. But I'm not holding my breath.

[hockeylover]

Actually, little or no nausea. Just a little "ick" feeling in the morning that passes pretty quickly. Thankfully, not vomiting. It's about the same as with DD but maybe a little bit more since there's more hormones running through me with two.

Mostly I'm EXHAUSTED. All I want to do is sleep, which I know is good. I try to get a decent night's sleep, get DD off to school, come home and take a nap. I'm volunteering in the class tomorrow. Hope I don't fall asleep into some green paint or anything. LOL. A friend of mine, who has twins, said that the second half of the first trimester (where we're all at now) was brutal for her with two. Maybe that's what's kicking in for me now.

Juneau, where are you traveling to? I hope you get there soon so you can finally relax a little.

[juneau]

Hi Hockeylover. It's great that you don't have any nausea. I'm pretty much queasy all day, and nothing sounds good to eat. :( I can't even look at the smiley with the knife and fork! Oy! And I've thrown up twice already, blech. :(

You're lucky that you can send dd off to school! Preschool, such as it was (2 hours a week) has just ended for us. Today I took dd to her music class and one of the moms guessed right away that I was pregnant -- I didn't think it was that transparent, but everyone commented on how tired I looked, and asked if I was feeling OK. I tried to beg off, saying I was "travelweary" but she saw right through it! Good luck staying awake in class tomorrow.

As for travel, we were coming back home after being away for 10 days. I was only feeling tired when we left but driving home was a real chore with the nausea on top of it. I feel exactly like I did when I was pg with dd, so I'm guessing another girl (which is what she hopes).

Thank goodness, it's bedtime. :D

[doulamomvicki]

:wave Hockeylover :)

[hockeylover]

Oh man, I hear you on the "looking tired". I went to a school function last night and the one mom (she's got twins in DD's class) who knows asked how I was doing. I said "tired" and she said "yeah, you look it". Lovely. No one's asked though so I guess I'm hiding it well or people are too embarrassed in case I'm not. LOL. Good thing I'm in my "fat" jeans and I think I need to move up a bra size.

Juneau, it's a good thing that you're feeling awful. It's uncomfortable but that means those hormones are raging and that's a good thing. Sorry you feel awful but you know what I mean.

Vicki, how are you doing ?

I'm glad we're all here together.

[juneau]

I just discovered Sea Bands and I ate lunch yesterday! A huge thing for me since I haven't been able to eat much. Driving still ramps up the nausea and the smell of food is sometimes hard to take, but I can eat again. Hooray!!!! I am planning to wear them all day every day but not at night.

Vicki, how are you feeling?

[clementine99]

Hi can I join? I just posted in the roll call thread but then I noticed this one. A little about me: I'm a 39 yo SAHM with a long history of infertility. It took about a year to get pregnant the first time w the help of clomid (my twin girls just turned 4!!!!). After about 3 years of trying for a third with clomid, IUIs, injectibles- finally IVF did the job! I've had 2 losses, one at almost 12 weeks so I don't think I'll rest easy til then. There's a possibility that it's twins again- I won't find out until the end of next week. I'm going nuts with the waiting!!!!

My due date is Jan 31. Looking forward to getting to know everyone here.

Congrats to all!!!

Hockeylover- double congrats on the twins! I will be honest that I found it really challenging (although amazing too) when they were babies- but it is SO FUN having twins. Do you have the book by Dr Luke? I found it really helpful and I followed the insane eating plan. It was hard to pack on all those pounds but I ended up delivering at 40 weeks.

[hockeylover]

Hi Clementine,

What's the name of the book? Obviously, I haven't dealt with any twins books or anything yet. I think I'm just waiting for my U/S on Monday to confirm that the two are really sticking in there. I had an U/S a week ago and we saw two heartbeats for sure but only one yolk sac. The doctor wasn't concerned and was like it'll be 70% fine, but I just want to get over than hump next week before I'm full dealing with the twins thing.

IVF finally worked for us too. This was our 3rd round, my 6th transfer (several frozen egg cycles that didn't take). We're excited about twins but obviously a little scared too. Good luck for you too. I know you'll keep us posted. I can't wait to hear.

[doulamomvicki]

There is a :heartbeat! We went in for a u/s yesterday and there it was! While I know I am not out of the woods yet, after seeing my babe's beating little heart I feel more hopeful about this pregnancy :love.

How is everyone else doing? Juneau, are your hanging in there with the m/s?

[juneau]

Congratulations, Vicki! That's great news! What's your EDD? Mine's the 14th.

AFM, I threw up the eggs I craved for breakfast. Then I called my doctor. Now I have some Zofran, and while it knocked me out for a few hours, now I feel like eating dinner is a distinct possibility.

[doulamomvicki]

My EDD by LMP is 1/19, by FF and the u/s is it 1/22.

Zofran is magical:wink I have been on it for 4 days and feel pretty good. I take my doses when I know I will be able to nap.

[clementine99]

Hockeylover, the name of the book is When You're Expecting Twins, Triplets, or Quads by Barbara Luke. She recommends a LOT of weight gain in the first trimester (12 to 15 pounds as I recall).

Well Thursday is my first ultrasound, the answer to the big question of HOW MANY. I was quite sick by this point when I was pregnant with my girls, and I'm not sick at all this time at 5 weeks. So I have a strong feeling it's one, but can't wait to find out.

OK I'm sure I should be able to figure this out, but- how do you put a signature line in?

[doulamomvicki]

clementine99 If I remember right, you go to the user CP and use the edit signature function. I hope I am not leading you wrong - I already seem to have pregnancy brain:dizzy:

hockeylover I think my future SIL said she gained 14lbs in the 1st tri with her twins. She ended up going early at 34 weeks with the babes who weighing in at over 6 lbs each

How is everyone else doing?

[clementine99]

thanks vicki! i just want to see if my signature worked- i couldn't really deal with all the smileys so it is dull, but let's see if i did it right-

[hockeylover]

Thanks for the name of the book. I'll order it from Amazon.

OMG, I'm supposed to gain that much weight in my first trimester. Oy. I've been eating, don't get me wrong, but I think I've only gained a pound. Honestly, I'm ok with that. I started a good 13 pounds heavier then when I got PG with DD so I think I have a little to "live off the land". I know my weight gain will come and I'm certainly not shy about eating. I gained 40 with DD so I'd like to try and keep it somewhat under control since I'll have plenty to lose on the other side.

I had my second U/S yesterday and we saw two strong heartbeats. One more U/S next week before I "graduate" from fertility doctor land and go to my regular OB. I tried to call my OB today (office was closed for the day), just to get ahead on some things, and now I'll ask about weight gain too.

Clementine, do you know how many yet?

[clementine99]

OK, just got back from my u/s- they saw 2 sacs, but one is tiny. The doc said it i most likely that the tiny one will be gone by the next u/s (next friday). It is going to be another long week! I guess I will just assume it is one, in an effort to stop obsessing about what-ifs.

I had been hoping to see a little heartbeat- I can't remember when that happens. How far along were you guys when you saw it? Maybe I will see one next time- I will be 6 1/2 weeks?

[juneau]

I'm glad you saw sacs, clementine, but you're right, it's going to be a long week. I'm sorry. I saw my HB at just around 7 weeks, though the u/s tech thought I was measuring closer to 6 weeks.

I canceled my followup ultrasound this week and really don't want another one. But my high-risk OB is insisting on one before my first prenatal visit, "for dating." I had an u/s and blood draw at ovulation and was being monitored by a fertility specialist; I don't know how much better dating you can have than that! Right now I'm scheduled for one in about 2 weeks (right around 10 weeks), but I'm going to try to get out of it.

Also, I'm getting really annoyed at people's reactions when I tell them I'm pregnant. Two friends have said to me, versions of, "oh, really, do you really want to go through this again?" Only slightly better than, "I'm sorry." One asked if I was trying! Oh, please, I just got pregnant by accident. Jeesh.

I kind of feel like not telling anyone anymore. If they can't be happy for me then at least just shut up and leave me alone. (Sorry, I'm just feeling really sick and grumpy right now.)

[hockeylover]

Oh Juneau, how annoying are those responses? I don't blame you for not wanting to tell people. Be happy people. This is a baby we're talking about and if you didn't want it, well, you wouldn't be telling people. Sheesh! We're happy for you if that's any consolation.

I had lunch today with a bunch of girlfriends (two know that I'm pregnant). We were talking about ages and I was the oldest one there and felt like a freak that I was just pregnant and still having kids. They're all way done. But that's been that way since I had DD. I'm the oldest of my friends who still was wanting another one. Everyone had their two or three before I even got close. One of the ladies who knows, who's also 44, when I told her I was upset and felt weird said not to worry about it. Having kids at our age will keep us young. it's all good and we *wanted* another baby. Anyone who doesn't get that, it's their loss.

Yeah, I don't blame you for not wanting another U/S. If you know your conception date, thanks to fertility doc, then that's pretty reliable, you're right. Then deal with the rest when you transfer to your regular OB for real. Your fertility doc should be giving your OB all the latest information anyway. Mine is when the time comes.

Clementine, I'm thinking of you. Hope that second one is "the little engine that could" and gets over the hill next week. Try not to stress too much (yeah, I know, easier said than done).

[juneau]

I know how you feel about being around contemporaries who are done having kids. I have three neighbors who are around my age and they all have kids in high school. I just don't really have anything to talk to them about. And women who have kids my age are just so young I can hardly stand it! Ah well. I'm just focusing on my family right now.

I did try to get pregnant in my 30s -- for five years -- without success. I think it's a miracle that I have my dd and an even more amazing thing that I'm pregnant right now. I just keep telling myself that the oldest woman I know who had a healthy baby without fertility treatments was 49. If she can do it, I can certainly have one at 45. And be happy about it, darn it!!

I'm not under the care of a fertility doc -- actually, he doesn't even know I'm pregnant yet -- because our last contact was the day they canceled my cycle (at ovulation). I'm with a peri because of my ectopic last summer, and because I'll need a repeat C/S at the birth, but really for routine prenatal care I'm not especially high risk. I'm debating switching to a midwife.

Gonna be HOT HOT HOT here today! I'm having trouble adjusting, because it only got warm enough to open our windows last Saturday!

[hockeylover]

I know how you feel about feeling old compared to everyone else around you. Once again, I'll be the novelty friend with the babies who everyone wants to drool over. That's how I'm looking at it. All my friends who miss that baby smell, cuddling a little one etc because their kids are so old, I'll be happy to accommodate. Here take a kid. I've got another one to hold. LOL.

I hope you're feeling well though. After my u/s on Wednesday, assuming all is good (which it will be), I graduate to my regular OB. I spoke with her last week so she knows I'm coming. When I see her, the first question will be do I need to see a perinatologist. I obviously didn't deal with that the first time around. So we'll see how that goes now that we're "older". I'm so glad to hear that you're not considered high risk. I think it's all very exciting, no matter how old we are. There's a mom in my DD's class that had twins last August. She was 49. She's a single mom and did a frozen egg transfer but yeah, if she can do it, so can we. As long as we're happy and our family is happy, those are the only people we have to be worried about. Too bad if other people don't understand.

[juneau]

Hockeylover, that's a nice way to look at it. And you'll be happy for someone to hold at least one of your babies, I'm sure!

I am so sick and miserable! The zofran has me completely stopped up, so now am taking various remedies for that. Also have a sore throat that I am taking ABX for "just in case" it's something bacterial... On top of the preexisting nausea that the zofran doesn't completely take away, I am a mess. :( Good thing my folks are here helping out right now, though they leave Thurs. and then we are on our own. I'm just hoping and praying that 10 weeks (next Wed.) is a magic number for nausea.

Good luck with your ultrasound tomorrow! I guess I'm resigned to having one next week, and actually starting to look forward to it a little bit.

[janesmommy]

Hi Everyone!

I'm 42 and EDD is Feb. 5, is that close enough? I feel pretty good so far. I had a HORRIBLE headache the past several days but I actually am beginning to think it was Prozac withdrawal.

Ironically this was totally an unplanned surprise for us, go figure. When we first found out we freaked and weren't so happy about it. Now, a mere week later I just want everything to be okay and am trying not to worry about the many possibilities of the oh so insulting "advanced maternal age".

Anyone else feel this way? I am planning a nuchal screen, not even sure what that is. Had an amnio w/ dd but wanted to be less invasive this time around, hopefully everything will be great. I don't have a history of miscarriage and dd is perfect so I'm crossing my fingers.

[juneau]

Welcome, janesmommy! Congratulations on your pregnancy.

I just have some words of warning in regards to testing. If you wouldn't terminate, don't test! I had a nuchal scan when I was pregnant at 42 (this was a surprise pregnancy as well), and the results were ambiguous, but with a very high risk of Down syndrome or other chromosomal abnormality. My doctor pressured me into doing a CVS immediately. I got the results a week later and all was well. Unfortunately, I contracted an infection from the test and had a horrible septic miscarriage when my son was almost 15 weeks. I wanted to die myself, and nearly did. I have had two pregnancy losses since then, one was an ectopic (also life-threatening) that may have been caused by scarring from the previous infection.

I would just urge anyone not to start down that road unless you really know what you are getting yourself in for. I wouldn't wish what happened to me on anyone, and I try to tell as many people as possible. I've never met anyone or heard of anyone who had my experience and yet we must be out there since the risk of miscarriage after CVS is elevated.

I too, was trying to do things the less-invasive way. I didn't want to do CVS initially, and yet, when I got those nuchal results back, I panicked -- looking back, I blame the doctor, too, for pushing me. My dh was against it but I talked him into it; one of the things I regret most in my life.

[Prism]

oh juneau that's horrible! what you've been through.

[hockeylover]

Wow Juneau! I'm so sorry for what you went through. I can't imagine how you're still standing, especially emotionally.

Janesmommy, congratulations. The nuchal test is a blood test where they test for certain levels (they test for a bunch of things that I can't remember at the moment other than trisomy-18). There's also an ultrasound where they measure the nape of the baby's neck. Apparently, if the neck is thicker, that's an indication of Down's Syndrome. So the measurement combined with the blood levels vs Mother's age, determines the odds that there might be a problem.

I had a nuchal test with DD and my odds came back very high (which was good) for my age. But I was also 38 and nervous and didn't want to take any chances. If I recall, the "average" odds at my age (that over 35 magic number) was 60 to 1. After my nuchal test, combined with my bloodwork, my odds were like 550 to 1. I personally, wasn't interested in a CVS and my doctor said the only way to know "for sure" was an amnio, which we did. All was good. I'm scheduled for a nuchal test in two weeks and based on my situation (donor egg), I fully expect to very high odds. Assuming, that's correct, I don't think we'll do an amnio this time. But that's only because of my specific situation. If we were with my eggs, then yes I would test to know for sure.

Juneau, I'm still in shock from your story. I hope you're a little excited about your U/S next week. Oh, as for me today. I'm an official graduate from the land of fertility doctors. He burned a DVD (so I can show my DH who's out of town) of the two heartbeats which were going strong. Took measurements and we're right on target. I gave hugs to my doctor and the main nurse that I've been dealing with and I move on to my regular OB who I'll see in 2 weeks and get on a schedule from there.

[juneau]

Sorry, everyone, if I shocked or scared you. I won't judge anyone who decides to test but please go in with your eyes open. My doc had lots of resources for me if I tested + for Down syndrome but I never heard a peep from her after I lost my baby. I wonder sometimes how I made it through, too. I really almost didn't.

But here I am, at 44, two years later (the anniv. of my loss is in four days), nine weeks pregnant, with a (so far) healthy little bean.

However, I have to complain because I am miserable. I am having the worst asthma attack of my life and had to change meds because of being pregnant. The new meds will take a few days to kick in and meanwhile I can't stop coughing long enough to fall asleep!!

The nausea seems pretty well-controlled with Zofran but now I am on milk of magnesia and colase for constipation; combined with an antibiotic for possible strep, and two inhalers for asthma, I am a walking pharmacy at a very vulnerable time in my pregnancy. :(

If bean and I are still together and healthy in January it truly will be a miracle.

Congrats, hockeylover, on an end to infertility-land and your graduation to a regular OB!

[doulamomvicki]

Bumping us up:shy.

How is everyone doing?

juneau :Hug I am so sorry that happened. Thank you for sharing, that made me say a big "no" when my ob offered the cvs to me today.

[juneau]

Yay, Vicki, the power of "no"!

I am up and down. Today up; but Sunday I spent the whole day in bed. By LMP I am 10 weeks today; by ovulation, 10 weeks tomorrow. I have my first official OB appointment today and he's insisting on another ultrasound. I was really against it at first, but now have gotten used to the idea. But it's creating more anxiety than anything and I'm going to ask for NO MORE "routine" ultrasounds. We'll also probably have a discussion about testing of all kinds, which I am planning to say NO to. Wish me luck...

I'm still on Zofran though sometimes I can go a whole day without taking it. I don't feel as if I have turned a corner yet, though. When I tried to go two days without, I threw up brushing my teeth. Yuck! Although I must say, I am no longer the miserable wretch I was last time I posted, hooray!

Dd started part-time daycare yesterday, which was a really hard decision for me, since I have been a SAHM since birth. But she seems to be doing well, and I am enjoying the extra time just to rest.

Yesterday was the 2nd anniversary of the loss of my son, and I actually forgot until today, which I guess is a good thing. Although the upcoming u/s makes me worry that something will be wrong today and brings up the sadness of that loss all over again. Oy, I need to stop worrying.

How are you feeling, Vicki? Still taking Zofran? How about you, Hockeylover? Still feeling good? Prism? Janesmommy? Clementine?

[hockeylover]

Juneau, I hope your doctor's appointment goes well today. I know how terrified you are about the ultrasound but if you do this one and know that all is going swimmingly, then I can't imagine that you'd have to have another internal ultrasound. By the time you go back, it should be belly time and just the regularly scheduled ones at, what 20 and 36 weeks. I can't even remember. LOL. I'm glad you were distracted and didn't remember the two year anniversary. It's so brutally sad and you should never forget but at the same time you have something and someone very exciting to look forward to. Channel that positively if you can. I know, easier said that done.

I know it's hard putting DD in daycare but it might be a good thing. Let her get used to other kids so that the baby might not be so traumatic and heck, the way you're feeling, it gives you a few hours of quiet time to rest. You really need that. I'm sorry that you're feeling so miserable. But if you're 10 weeks, you're in the home stretch. You should be coming out of this misery in the next 2-3 weeks.

As for me, I've been doing pretty well overall. Tired of course (if I'd get off the computer, I'd take a nap). MY DH was out of town for two weeks and thankfully came home yesterday. I had a miserable weekend trying to get rid of a 5 day migraine. It was brutal beyond belief. I finally broke down and had a Caramel Frappaccino yesterday and that sugar and some caffeine rush seemed to break it. Go figure. Other that the usual tired, my biggest issue is when I get hungry. I'm instantly STARVING. There's no, "Oh I'll go get something in a minute". I need to eat now. I'm eating at all sorts of weird hours including one day last week when I woke up at 3:45A hungry and had to go eat some bread. And with all of that, I still haven't really gained any weight. Believe me, I'm trying. Geez. It'll catch up I have no doubt. I go see my regular OB next week and get on that schedule.

We told DD last night who was VERY excited at the thought of being a big sister. Then said said "I think I want a brother AND a sister." That blew DH away. She had said that to me before. So we told her that I'm going to have two babies and she thought that was great and starting coming up with names. We weren't sure how much she "got" it although she did kiss my belly and the babies goodnight. When I dropped her off at school today, she told her teacher "My Mommy has TWO (with fingers) babies in her belly." Her teacher was like "WHAT??" since we had a class family thing last night and no one knew. So I confirmed and it's all exciting. So yeah, I guess DD gets it after all.

I hope everyone else is feeling good, or actually crappy. That means those hormones are doing their thing. Off to take a nap...

[juneau]

Juls, that's so funny about your dd. We told mine early on but only because I was feeling so crappy and having to cut back SO far on nursing. Now she's worried about me being sick and always thinks of things that could make me better (ginger ale, ginger tea, etc.). She's so sweet. She does have a habit of blurting out our news, but lately she's been preoccupied with my asthma. She will go up to complete strangers and say, "My mommy has a asthma!" Too funny.

My dd wants a sister. I have a hunch it will be. We had the u/s this afternoon and to my great relief everything is exactly fine and beautiful! Yolk sac, heartbeat, wiggly baby, arm and leg buds, measuring right on schedule; everything you could hope for at 10 weeks. And the nurse practitioner I saw for my appointment agreed no more ultrasounds until 20 weeks. Yay! But I will see the OB every 3 weeks. I guess that's OK.

I'm glad you got your headache to go away. It sounds miserable. I have actually found caffeine, in small doses, extremely helpful for headaches during pregnancy in the past. None so far this time for me, but they plagued me during my second trimester with dd. A cola in the afternoon always did the trick.

[doulamomvicki]

I am still on the Zofran but I am trying to space it out as much as I can tolerate. It works well for my m/s but it makes me sooo tired.

Juneau Yah! I am so glad your u/s was perfect.

Juls Your dd sounds too cute! :love

[juneau]

Vicki, how often are you taking the Zofran? I'm trying to go every other day, but sometimes I can and sometimes not.

[juneau]

I cooked a meal yesterday! An actual made-from-scratch quiche! And ate it! :eat:...

... but then I threw up before breakfast this morning. :(

[doulamomvicki]

I am bumping us up:D

Prism I saw your other post in the ddc. I am so sorry mama, prayers and love to you:hug

Juneau Is your m/s lessening?

How is everyone else doing? I am actually doing pretty well, only taking Zofran every so often. My biggest problem is being so tired all the time, which I can handle.

[juneau]

Hi Vicki! I am mostly off Zofran but suffering terribly from asthma right now. It's kicking my butt! I had it bad when I was pregnant with dd, but for about 2 1/2 years after her birth, I was completely symptom-free. Now I am taking scads of medications :( and still ailing. Wish I could get back to an even keel!

Prism :hug.

Hockeylover, how are you???

[hockeylover]

Hi there!

I've barely been on the computer lately and MDC has been one of my regular haunts to get neglected. Shame on me, but I'm back and determined to check in on all of our progress.

How's everyone feeling? Juneau, I've really been wondering about your morning sickness since it really seemed to get you bad. Vicki, how about you? How are you doing?

AFM, I'm doing well. I'm starting week 13 (aren't we all about the same?) and we've finally pretty much told the world. I was waiting until I saw my regular OB last week and then saw the perinatologist the next day. With twins, I guess I've got a lot of people watching over me. We had our BUN/nuchal fold test and the doctor was thrilled with what he saw. Based on the fact that my donor was 24 and the neck thickness was very thin, he sees no reason why my results won't be very low. I haven't heard back on the bloodwork yet. So assuming that the odds come back very low, I see no reason to have an amnio this go around which makes me happy. Who needs the two sticks? I'm still feeling a little tired but that probably has as much to do with me staying up too late than the two beans in my belly. I'm definitely starting to show although I've really only gained about 5 pounds. Everything has shifted so I'm wearing maternity clothes as much out of comfort as necessity. The bigger boobs are the biggest annoyance so far (and I'm not that big) LOL.

Prism, big hugs to you. We're here for you.

Hope everyone is doing well and feeling good now that we're coming out of the 1st trimester. And I hope the summer heat doesn't wilt any of us.

[juneau]

Hockeylover, welcome back. We've missed you! I am feeling less nauseated and I really thought I was done throwing up with this pregnancy, and then bam, it hit me again today -- between first and second breakfast (LOL). I guess that means I'm still pregnant -- I have been freaking out a little bit lately, and anxiously looking forward to my peri appt. next week.

Great news on the nuchal scan; no amnio, go go go!

I'm still recovering from asthma/bronchitis and so VERY tired. I just called my editor (I'm a journalist) and begged off a freelance assignment I'd been looking forward to for a long time. And I feel relieved about it instead of disappointed. I hope to feel well enough to do some writing in a few weeks; just not right now.

BTW, I am 12w2d today. Still not really in the mood to tell much of anyone about my pregnancy yet, but not hiding my belly, either. I've been wearing maternity clothes since 5 weeks! Due date is 1/14.

[hockeylover]

Thanks! I missed you all too and just didn't motivate to be on the computer more than I had to be. I should be sleeping. What else is new?

Juneau, I'm glad you're still feeling nauseous since yeah, those hormones are raging but even I'm "enough already" for you. You should be done with it. Were you this sick for your first? I barely had any nausea with my DD. And only slightly more this time but I think it's as much as an empty stomach. As soon as I eat something, it pretty much passes. Nothing close to actually getting sick, thank goodness. I know you probably hate me, but I totally feel for you. I truly hope this is over for you in the next week as you pass out of the 1st trimester.

I'm glad you also feel relief that you got out of that one assignment. I work in freelance TV production so I get the idea of job to job and paycheck to paycheck. And the potential that if you turn something down, they may not come to you again. I had to beg off of a job today in November with one of the few directors that calls me first. Yes, it's for a good medical reason but still, I don't want to lose "my spot" as his first choice, even though 4 months is plenty of notice. I haven't worked since the middle of May and it was good for me. I needed the clear schedule to be there for DD since my DH has been out of town so much lately (he just left again tonight for a 12 day trip to Vietnam) and so that I could rest when I needed to. I start back on my regular summer show on Monday and luckily that schedule is very reasonable without stupid hours.

I think I'm about 1 week ahead of you on the "how far along are we" week count. My due date is going to be closer to December 20th I think since twins come 2-3 weeks early. My 40 week due date is January 9. I've been in maternity clothes for about a week. I've bought a few things since my last pregnancy was all winter and I have two friends that gave me two HUGE boxes that I have to through tomorrow. I know there are t-shirts in there which is worth it right there.

We started telling people officially about a week ago. I finally blogged it the other day as well so the few people that didn't know, probably know now. And I've been told that my big boobs gave me away a few weeks ago, even if no one actually questioned it to my face.

[juneau]

Hi Hockeylover,
I was really nauseated and tired with dd but only threw up once. This throwing up every day crap has really got me bummed. I am also really nauseated in the evening, which makes me want to just eat a few bites of dinner and lie down as soon as possible.

Dd told me this morning that she doesn't love me when I'm sick. :(

My actual delivery date may be a week or two early, depending on how things are going. It will be a planned C/S since I had extra surgery at dd's delivery (huge fibroid removed). Last time I was pg my doc said 38 or 39 weeks. I see him next week so I'll see what he says this time. Of course, as I said, it probably depends more on how things are going at the time.

Yeah, I'm bummed about the freelance stuff right now. I've only been working for two magazines since dd was born and was just starting to ramp up again with my favorite editor. He handed me a really choice assignment and I'm sad that I can't fill it. It's the first I've worked with him in a few years, but he's my absolute favorite person to work with. And I just found out the other magazine got canned -- right before I was to start working on a really interesting profile.

Oh well, such is life. I'm busy growing a new one.

What kind of TV production work do you do?

[amorifera]

I'm happy to be joining you all here. I'm 42 (will be 43 in September) and the baby is due January 10. The pregnancy was a surprise, but we are very happy about it (it will be my first) and plan to have the baby at home with a midwife. I'm unbelievably lucky to have made it to 13 weeks without any morning sickness. I do feel for you women who have to deal with that. Ugh!

[juneau]

Welcome, Laurel, and congratulations!!! How exciting to be having your first at 43! I had given up the idea of getting pregnant when I turned 40, after five years of TTC, including failed IVF. Surprise, six months later I was pregnant, naturally. Now I have been pregnant five times in my 40s! What's your story?

I am feeling better today. :fingersx:

[hockeylover]

Hi Laurel. Welcome and big congratulations!! It's a very exciting time for all of us. Glad we can go through it together!

Juneau, hope you're feeling better. I'll keep saying that until you tell us that you are consistently. LOL. I bet it broke your heart when your DD said she doesn't like it when you're sick. And I'm sure you said "Me too!!" The one nice thing about a planned C is that you can make sure all your ducks are in a row and hey, have your nails done. I'm going to try and do it naturally but I fully understand that with twins anything is possible including them turning sideways when I actually go into labor. We're also going to see how it goes. Whatever works best for healthy baby and healthy mom is how we're handling it. I figure we've got plenty of time to see how it goes and make the appropriate decisions.

I'm sure you'll be able to work in another few weeks when you're finally on the upswing. And huge bummer about the other magazine getting canned. How totally disappointing especially when you liked the people you were dealing with.

To answer your question about my freelance work, I'm a freelance Associate Director working on mostly live variety and reality shows. I start work tomorrow on "Big Brother" where I'm the AD on the live show where the houseguests get evicted. It's a great gig since it's only 1.5 days a week which is perfect for the summer. This will be my 5th season working on the show. At this point, I'll make it through the season on "BB" which ends mid-September and that might be it workwise for me. My doctor said maybe I could work in October if I got a few days and we know it's not stupid hours but I'm not holding my breath on that. We'll see. I'll probably just enjoy being on my behind and trying to keep the two beans in as long as possible.

[doulamomvicki]

:wave Welcome Laurel!

Hockeylover I love that show!

[juneau]

Today was a good day. :D

[doulamomvicki]

Yay for good days:joy:!

[juneau]

I threw up this morning, but only because I didn't get enough to eat for breakfast. :(

But other than that, it was a good day again. I saw the doctor, heard a heartbeat (156 BPM), and got released from every-three-week visits to every four weeks. :D

[veganmama719]

Thanks for the visit and the congrats Juneau. I will admit that I've been lurking on this thread to see how you and Juls and Vicki are doing :)

[juneau]

Welcome Veganmama! So glad to see you here!!!

BTW, I am officially changing my "mood" from "sick" to "tired." An improvement!

[wvmommy]

hey, folks. i just wanted to add myself to the knocked up group. :)

first let me tell you that i am a grieving mother. i lost both of my twin sons, arthur at 10 days in november, and erik at 3 months in january. the hole that this has left in my life has been unbearable which is why i decided to ttc. i found a sperm donor and got lucky on my first good try (i had tried once before but it was sloppy and badly timed). i am not trying to replace my sons. i could never do that. but at 41 and with no other children i also couldn't bear the thought of living the rest of my life with no child to love. i wouldn't want to live that life. so here i am.

i have my first drs appointment next wednesday for blood work and the introductory basics, then the ultrasound the following week, then meeting with the dr on the 31st. my due date is 2/26/09. i am a bundle of nerves about the upcoming appointments and i am dying to hear that freaking heartbeat(s). i wanted to do the us on the first visit when i will be exactly 8 wks but they said it was too early and they wouldn't necessarily see/hear what they wanted to see/hear. when i was pregnant the last time they heard a heartbeat at 8 wks in the e.r. am i out of my mind to think that they could at least hear the heartbeat at my 8 wk appointment? i'm just so anxious to know everything is ok, especially because of my history. i am so afraid they will tell me that there is no baby in there. :( i am trying to think positively and consider how fast i got the bfp, telling myself everything is surely fine and this must be meant to be! but i will feel much better when i hear that heartbeat, i'm telling you.

btw, my plan is to find a midwife and have the baby at home. but i'm going to do 'shadow care' with a dr until the delivery date.

thanks for letting me join your forum.

erik and arthur's mommy
erika

41, 7wks2days via home insemination with kd
:+ :1sttri: :novaxnocirc: :lactivist: :dust

[juneau]

Erika, welcome! And I totally understand your concerns. My doctors' appointments have made me more nervous than anything! I've had two ultrasounds and two doctors' visits, and each time, for at least a few days beforehand, I've been scared to death that the U/S / doppler / bloodwork, etc. will prove that the baby is gone. I find them not reassuring at all. Otherwise, I am convinced I am still pregnant because I still have symptoms. Although M/S is beginning to fade so now I am sure I will have days when I wonder again! Thankfully, I don't have to go again until the second week of August, so I will happily enjoy being pregnant until a few days or a week before that.

I am so sorry about the loss of your sons. How old were they? I can't imagine the pain of losing two, especially so close together. (Just reread your post and realize you did say how old they were!)

[wvmommy]

Erika, welcome! And I totally understand your concerns.

i can't wait for my ms to fade! i don't remember feel nauseous so consistantly last time. i get sick to my stomach around noon and feel queasy until about 11 at night. eat, don't eat, doesn't matter. ugh!

so can they hear the heartbeat at 8 wks with the doppler??? am i crazy to think they can??

erik and arthur's mommy
erika

41, 7wks3days via home insemination with kd
:+ :1sttri: :novaxnocirc: :lactivist: :dust

[hockeylover]

Hi Erika! Welcome to this thread. I know you and your story from the TTC thread so I'm so happy that you're here and doing well, in spite of the morning sickness. And I can totally understand your apprehension. I'm surprised that the doctor told you that 8 weeks was too early to hear a heartbeat. When I went for my first US, I was about 6 weeks and we were just checking for one or two sacs (there were two) and we saw both heartbeats clearly. I was really surprised at that, thinking that I was at least 1 week early on that, but there they were. With your history, they should definitely give you the confidence that all is right in there. Insist if you can. Good luck on Wednesday. We can't wait to hear the continued good news.

Veganmama, lurk away. The more the merrier.

Juneau, are you finally over the MS? I sure hope so. Going to tired, I'll take as a good sign that you're on the upswing.

Went to my doctor the other day for another checkup. Not sure why it was two weeks instead of 3 but my next one is in 4 weeks so I'll go with that. Everything is right where it's supposed to be. The Boo-Boo's (as DD is calling them) are about 14 weeks along. Didn't get measurements but we checked and they're happy and swimming nicely. It seems that I'll pretty much have an US each appointment between my OB and my perinatologist because of age, carrying twins, etc. The Peri will make sure they're growing properly (although I haven't seen him since the BUN/nuchal fold test) and my OB is making sure they stay in. LOL. I know DD wants to come and "see" them so that's good that we can bring her to pretty much any appointment.

Other than getting biger, I'm feeling good. DH has been out of town since the 4th and comes home on Monday night. I'm sure he'll see a difference. When I was at work last week, and there are some people don't officially know that I'm pregnant. Oh, they'll figure it out in a week or two if they didn't, but still, I think there were a few friends who were probably wondering about my weight gain but since it's not totally obvious yet, they're not going to ask. One girlfriend of mine was talking to one of the men about me (not sure why but whatever) and he was saying, kindly, that he just thought I was "happy" and I had gained some weight since I last saw him in April. My friend yelled "She's pregnant with twins!" LOL. That explains it at least. I know there were a few (especially some of the men) who were scratching their heads but I could tell they're looking at my belly.

Yup, "Big Brother" is in full swing. Show premieres tomorrow night for those that follow along. Good casting from what I saw on move-in night the other day. (once again, sorry for the long winded post)

[wvmommy]

Hi Erika! Welcome to this thread. I know you and your story from the TTC thread so I'm so happy that you're here and doing well, in spite of the morning sickness. And I can totally understand your apprehension. I'm surprised that the doctor told you that 8 weeks was too early to hear a heartbeat. When I went for my first US, I was about 6 weeks and we were just checking for one or two sacs (there were two) and we saw both heartbeats clearly. I was really surprised at that, thinking that I was at least 1 week early on that, but there they were. With your history, they should definitely give you the confidence that all is right in there. Insist if you can. Good luck on Wednesday. We can't wait to hear the continued good news.

thank you! and yeah, i was surprised that they thought 8 weeks was too early, too. maybe they are assuming that i might have the date wrong or something. they don't know that i inseminated, which means i know *exactly* when this happened! do you think they could hear the heartbeat with the doppler at 8 wks????? i don't know if i can force an ultrasound since i don't know if they have one in the office but surely they can try that. i would love it if i was pregnant with twins again. being pregnant with twins was so wonderful. when i hear you talk about it it reminds of my boys and how happy i was and how much fun it was. i'm hoping i'll get lucky considering 1) it happened once before 2) my age 3) all the vitex and maca and natural fertility boosting stuff i was taking.... maybe? don't mistake me, i'll be happy with one baby, too. it would just be so nice if it could be twins again.

anyway, what do you think of the 8 wk doppler thing?

erik and arthur's mommy
erika

41, 7wks6days via home insemination with kd
:+ :1sttri: :novaxnocirc: :lactivist: :dust

[hockeylover]

I don't know how strong the doppler is. My doctors did ultrasounds (internal and external) on me. But if there's a heartbeat, I would think that it could be heard. Push for it as much as possible. And yes, they can hear it at 8 weeks. I know exactly when my conception happened as well which is why I thought 6 weeks was too early and there they were. Erika, I totally get the twins vs. singleton. Just a happy healthy one or two in there is all we ask. I'm sure it'll be all good.

I'm actually feeling a little crampy today. Of course, this is putting me into a near panic. I'm also working today which makes me think when/if I should call my doctor's office. Luckily, I'm sitting on my behind completely but still, I wish it would just pass. I'll just keep drinking water and hope it goes away soon. And do as little stairs as possible.

Juneau, glad to read the reports on some good days. Finally!!

[wvmommy]

I don't know how strong the doppler is. My doctors did ultrasounds (internal and external) on me. But if there's a heartbeat, I would think that it could be heard. Push for it as much as possible. And yes, they can hear it at 8 weeks. I know exactly when my conception happened as well which is why I thought 6 weeks was too early and there they were. Erika, I totally get the twins vs. singleton. Just a happy healthy one or two in there is all we ask. I'm sure it'll be all good.

I'm actually feeling a little crampy today. Of course, this is putting me into a near panic. I'm also working today which makes me think when/if I should call my doctor's office. Luckily, I'm sitting on my behind completely but still, I wish it would just pass. I'll just keep drinking water and hope it goes away soon. And do as little stairs as possible.

i want to push, but then i'm afraid they won't hear anything and i'll be devastated.. it's like when your ttc and you take the pregnancy test too early and get all bummed out! but i could *swear* they heard it last time at 8 wks with the doppler...

and i'm glad you understand the twin thing. i know you do. and yes, i'll be happy no matter what but i would really feel great about twins. also, i have this tiny little feeling and you may think i'm crazy for this.... but what if reincarnation is real? and what if my sons could come back to me? it's not that i won't love another baby, but i'm sure you can appreciate where i am coming from with that. i just miss my sons so much.

re: cramps. RELAX! it's probably just your uterus stretching! i had that, too, and it wasn't anything bad. your babies are growing fast and your uterus is stretching like crazy. keep that in mind. and keep taking it easy, too.
xoxoxo

erik and arthur's mommy
erika

41, 7wks6days via home insemination with kd
:+ :1sttri: :novaxnocirc: :lactivist: :dust

[juneau]

Erika, when I had my 13-week appt last week the doctor used the Doppler but he warned me ahead of time that, "We don't always hear the heartbeat at 13 weeks." So I would think it would be pushing it at 8 weeks, because the baby is so tiny and so far down still. On U/S, you could see it, definitely. I would ask, but if they say they can't hear it, I would be afraid to make them try because you'll only be disappointed and worried if you don't hear it.

I know you must miss your sons terribly. I never thought I would have more than one child after I had dd, and then I had a surprise second pregnancy in 2006 -- only to lose that baby from a uterine infection just before 15 weeks. I have been trying to get (and stay) pregnant ever since. And even though I am finally pregnant with a sticky bean, I still feel that even after this baby is born there will still be someone missing in my family, you know? And that's nothing compared to losing your children after birth. :hug

Hockeylover, I hope your cramps ease up soon!

I had a great day today: no m/s, no headache (my latest daily plague), and I spent the day shopping with my mom. :joy:

[wvmommy]

i posted this on my other forum so pardon the repeat to those who are members of both. i didn't want to type it twice. :)


i had my appointment today. i met with the nurse to answer a thousand questions and to have blood drawn. my ultrasound is on monday and i CAN'T WAIT. she was really really kind and so pleasant to talk to. i'm really glad i chose that office. i chose them at random so i guess i got lucky. so far. i haven't met the dr yet. but her name is heather so how mean can she be?

i asked the nurse if we could *try* to hear the heartbeat with the doppler and she said we could *try* but not to freak out of we couldn't get it. i agreed and she did try her best. we *almost* got it about five times but it kept moving away! and she said she could hear something swimming around in there. well, GOOD ENOUGH! haha! good enough for me! that is better than nothing and i'll get the deluxe treatment monday, so fine! i was very tickled and somewhat reassured by the whole thing. and she was just so so very patient and kind. so now we just wait until monday....

erik and arthur's mommy
erika

41, 7wks6days via home insemination with kd
:+ :1sttri: :novaxnocirc: :lactivist: :dust

[juneau]

It sounds like you had a great appointment today, Erika. Hooray for Monday!

I am 14 weeks now; I can't believe it. In a few days I will be past the point at which I lost my son. So far so good, although now I am suffering from headaches. :(

How are you, Veganmama?

[hockeylover]

Erika, I posted on the other thread but I'm excited for you. I know you're hoping to hear the real thing but I think the swishing is a very good sign. I guess I'm used to my doctor's sticking that ultrasound thing on (and in) me so I could see it. Your doctor on Monday will check you out and you'll be on your way. Try to relax until Monday. I'm sure the anticipation is making you crazy.

As for reincarnation, after what you've been through, I could totally see where you're coming from. And maybe it is your boys telling you that they're fine and at peace and, together, here's a brand new life to love and treasure. If you feel it, there's a reason for it. Enjoy it and feel the comfort knowing that you've got some guardian angels watching over you and the swisher in you.

Oh Juneau, I'm having horrible headaches too. Normally, I'm a headache and migraine girl and I had a few zingers my first pregnancy 5 years ago. I'm definitely having more, they're lasting longer and having more rebound headaches this go around. I asked my Dr. last week and she said it should subside by about 18 weeks. While I've been taking Tylenol, it's been completely hit or miss on being effective. Of all things, the thing that has done the trick is a Caramel Frappaccino. I'm not a coffee drinker but I do love my Fraps. I figure there's WAY more sugar than caffeine but whatever, it's managed to get my blood pumping and believe it or not, it's the only thing that has gotten rid of 3 different headaches. One had lasted 5 days, I had taken way too many drugs to no avail. I finally lost the plot and wanted the sugar and it was gone within the hour. Go figure. I don't encourage the caffeine but a little won't hurt and heck, we need to gain some weight so what's a few more carbs? LOL.

As for my cramps, thankfully, they're gone today. I had slight, and I mean, slight spotting yesterday and just felt yucky down there. I was really going nuts yesterday because, with my work today (I only work on Wednesdays) there was NO way I could get to the doctor if G-d forbid it continued. But I was fine today, thankfully! I did hear from my doctor with test results from last week. She wants me to start taking a baby aspirin daily. I've done that before so that's a pretty easy fix for whatever was slightly off. Hey, maybe it'll help with the headaches... Got great results from my BUN test so, while I'll check with my doctor to confirm, we probably won't do an amnio. Don't want those two sticks if I can help it. So, now I just need to work on gaining weight. She told me she wants me to gain 20-25 pounds in the first 20-25 weeks. I've gained about 10 in 14 weeks. I'm trying but I feel full. The belly is definitely getting bigger, no doubt about that. I guess it's not too often when you get carte blanche to eat ice cream and drink milkshakes. I should enjoy the no guilt eating, at least for a few more weeks.

VM, where and how are you? And we need updates from a few others of you out there too.

I have to say, I love this thread. I love that there are bunch of us, all within a few weeks of each other, and we're all going through various stages of the same thing. Your support has been great for me and thanks for indulging my silly, long posts.

[juneau]

Hi Juls, I enjoy your long posts!

Caffeine has been working for me too; Tylenol less so. Exercise also helped the other day; I will try that again this morning. I had been decaffeinated for so long it feels strange to actually drink tea with caffeine in it, but it works, so I'll keep doing it. Last pregnancy I wanted a cola but this time I'm really down on sweet things, for the most part.

I lost about 6 lbs in the first 13 weeks, and seem to be gaining, albeit very slowly, right now. I still don't want to eat very much although I do have to eat frequently. I am not quite back to where I started. I only want to gain about 20 lbs though, through the whole pregnancy, so not gaining right now is fine with me. I figure I'll put most of that on in the last trimester.

My belly is starting to make my back ache a bit -- and we've got six months to go, oy!

I'm so glad to be feeling more or less human again, but my energy level is still very low. Just taking it one day at a time, and very easy.

[hockeylover]

Juneau, I hear you on the backaches. My upper back is killing me. I might have to see the chiropractor this week. Hey, if he adjusts me neck too, maybe that'll help with the headaches.

Yes, I had another one yesterday and my Caramel Frap took the edge off. It still surprises me, but I'd rather spend the $4 than keep taking Tylenol which really isn't doing anything and continue to suffer.

I hope you can keep that weight to only 20 pounds. Since you lost at the beginning that shouldn't be too tough to stay within that range. My doctor told me she wants me to gain 45-60. OY! I gained 40 with DD but I don't want to be near 60. I've still gained only about 10 pounds. I'm also having trouble eating full meals. I do better noshing and smaller meals throughout the day. I think I need to make ice cream one of those meals though. I've got to put on the weight. It's strange that it's not happening but when I'm full, I'm really full. Just wait until we're 7 months along. I'll just keep plugging and eating away and hoping for the best.

[juneau]

Caffeine is the only thing that really seems to work for me. And I'm finding that if I have it ASAP after the headache comes on -- which is almost like a clock at 11 a.m. or noon -- the faster it goes away (and doesn't come back till the next day).

Enjoy your ice cream! I still can only eat a little bit of sweets. I guess that's a good thing! Normally I'm all over desserts and chocolate; can't have enough. My dd has been telling me for the past couple of months that she will "eat all the chocolate chips out of my [cookie, ice cream, scone, whatever] for me." Such a thoughtful child! :wink

Do you have a chart that tells you how much weight to gain by a certain time in order to reach your target at the end? I remember seeing those last time around but can't find one this time. I'd really like to know, for example if I've gained 10 lbs by week 20, say, whether that'd be too much or not. I want to pace myself so I don't gain too much. You have the opposite problem, I guess! I am just so thankful that I can :eat: again. For a while I couldn't even look at that smilie without feeling nauseated.

I think I remember Veganmama saying she was going on vacation, so that's why we haven't heard from her. I hope she's having fun -- but getting sick, too!

[juneau]

P.S. I'm changing my mood again, to "relaxed." :joy: I'm finally not so darn tired all the time, although I do have to sleep about 10 hours at night.

[hockeylover]

Caffeine is definitely the trick for my headaches too. Not Tylenol. And normally (non-preggo times) that's definitely not the case. I had a headache this afternoon, went to dinner with some friends and drank a Coke. Not my first choice of sodas but it definitely helped. I'm really hoping my doctor is right and that they subside by week 18. That's about 3 weeks of torture to go.

I'm not exactly charting my weight gain. I know where I started and I know that I need to be about 10 pounds heavier in the next 8 weeks. I'm keeping a pregnancy journal and about once a week they have me chart my weight so I keep up with it there. I need to do some belly measurements though.

I know Veganmama is back. I saw her post on the TTC thread. Hope she stops by here soon since she's got a sticky bean too. YAY! VM, where are you? We missed you. How was your trip??

[juneau]

Must vent about dh's cooking!!! He is a hit-or-miss cook at best, chooses not to use a recipe -- or when he does, doesn't follow it. Once in a while he will hit on something totally delicious, but he won't be able to repeat it because he doesn't remember what he's done.

Anyhow, I probably shouldn't complain, because at least he is cooking, and I certainly am not... but I think he knows by now that onions are giving me terrible heartburn these days and spaghetti sauce and I are not getting along very well either. But for dinner tonight he served pasta with tomato sauce, and a side of overcooked zucchini smothered in onions, and another side of ridiculously undercooked beets. :( I ate plain pasta and made him cook the beets a lot more before I would touch them. I couldn't even stand the smell of the cooked onions. Now I am hungry, with nothing proteinaceous to nosh on, but think I will just take my heartburn meds and go to bed.

Actually, this really should be a complaint about my MIL, because she was too busy waiting on everyone in the household to bother to teach her sons how to cook, do laundry, or clean. GRRRR...!!! The last two have been rectified to a certain extent though dh will only clean if really pushed to do so and does not ever see dirt.

In my household, on the other hand, my brothers and I were all expected to pull our own weight. We all learned to cook, etc., and I also became quite handy with gardening, engine repair, electrical wiring, and general fix-it stuff.

OK, end of vent. Back to our regularly scheduled programming...

Veganmama, please check in and tell us about your vacation!

[wvmommy]

Must vent about dh's cooking!!! He is a hit-or-miss cook at best

o, you poor thing! i lived with a cook like that. sometimes it was great and sometimes it was just nasty. maybe keep protein snacks around like cheese or boiled eggs. grill some chicken breasts and slice them up and then stick them in the freezer to grab down a quick snack. some of that with some cheese wrapped in a tortilla would be great.... jeez, i wish i was eating that right now.

erik and arthur's mommy
erika

41, 8wks5days via home insemination with known donor
:+ :1sttri: :novaxnocirc: :lactivist: :dust

[wvmommy]

my appointment was GREAT! i saw the baby and i got some GREAT pictures! and the little heart was just pounding away at 165 beats per minute. i was thrilled. what a relief!!!! i feel like everything just might be ok....


erik and arthur's mommy
erika

41, 8wks5days via home insemination with known donor
:+ :1sttri: :novaxnocirc: :lactivist: :dust

[juneau]

Yay, Erika!!! :joy: I am so happy for you. I know that must be a huge relief!

[wvmommy]

yes, HUGE!!!!! i'm starting to think it just might be ok...

erik and arthur's mommy
erika

41, 8wks6days via home insemination with known donor
:+ :1sttri: :novaxnocirc: :lactivist: :dust

[veganmama719]

Hi guys, thanks for thinking of me. I am just soooooooooooooooooo exchausted and starting to feel a little yucky (which is probably a good sign).

I don't get a u/s until Spet 8th though (I'll be 12w3d) so I remain unconvinced that this is a sticky bean thus far. I do have the sore BBS and the incredibly vivid dreams of my first 2 PGs though and I didn't get that far in Jan/Feb.

I am so glad you guys are all doing so well!!!

Sunrise m/c this week, she was about a week ahead of me. She seems to be doing well but I know it has to be tough.

[juneau]

Veganmama, thanks for checking in on this thread! I had about given up on you since you started your own 40+ thread in the March DDC. But this thread is all TTC-over-40 grads, so I hope you will stick with us! It'll be great to keep up the conversation.

Thanks for letting me know about Sara, though I'm sorry to hear the news. I hadn't read that thread in a few days.

I'm feeling great these days, hallelujah!! :joy: I am back to swimming and riding my bike, activities I had given up entirely these past couple of months. I felt terribly guilty driving everywhere since we live in a small town and most things I need to do are at least bikeable, if not walkable, but I just.couldn't.summon the energy to do either of those things.

I know it's hard to wait for your u/s but I consider your exhaustion and m/s a very good sign!

[wvmommy]

[B]I'm feeling great these days, hallelujah!! :joy: I am back to swimming and riding my bike, activities I had given up entirely these past couple of months. I felt terribly guilty driving everywhere since we live in a small town and most things I need to do are at least bikeable, if not walkable, but I just.couldn't.summon the energy to do either of those things.

you give me hope! i've been so listless and sick that i don't want to do anything. and on top of it i've been depressed. the grief is all over me these days and everything is getting on my nerves. i live with my sister who is perpetually hot and keeps the thermostat on 64°. i never leave my room because it's just too damned cold in the rest of the house to be comfortable. i came here when i found out i was pregnant with twins and my grief has anchored me here. and now i'm expecting a new baby. not a good time to move. when i move it will be far away from here as i don't like this area and i have no idea where i even want to go this time... my sister is wonderful, really wonderful, but this little issue with living on the polar ice cap is driving me insane. and there is no compromise. she is walking around in a sleeveless gown and sitting in front of a fan with the air conditioning on 64 while i'm wearing flannel pajamas, a jacket and sitting under a blanket.

i'm cranky!!!! can you tell???

erik and arthur's mommy
erika

41, 9 weeks 2 days via home insemination with known donor
:+ :1sttri: :novaxnocirc: :lactivist: :dust

[juneau]

:hug Erika. You will feel better in a few weeks, I am confident. About the cold, well, soon it will be fall... :eyesroll

[wvmommy]

:hug Erika. You will feel better in a few weeks, I am confident. About the cold, well, soon it will be fall... :eyesroll

i'm sure you're right about me feeling better. thank you. :) but as for the cold, forget it. the air conditioner here runs well into the fall and then the heat is kept very low in the winter. speak of the devil... i just heard her turn the air conditioner up just now. :cold:

erik and arthur's mommy
erika

41, 9 weeks 3 days via home insemination with known donor
:+ :1sttri: :novaxnocirc: :lactivist: :dust

[veganmama719]

Erika that does not sound fun. I suppose I'd rather be too cold than too hot though. At least you can always put on more clothes! I have th eopposite problem, I am always boiling hot now.

Looks like you are all busy too! We had a crazy weekend and I had to hold it together even though I was feeling really blah!

[veganmama719]

No symptoms today.

Really considering moving my u/s up even though i know it won't change anything........

[juneau]

:hug Veganmama. It's nerve-wracking, I know...

[veganmama719]

Thanks Juneau. I think in some ways I am scared to move the u/s up too.

[wvmommy]

Thanks Juneau. I think in some ways I am scared to move the u/s up too.

if it were me, i would move it up. i wouldn't be able to take the wait that long. they should be able to see something by 8 or 9 weeks and then you would have a month less to be tormented.

and you know, in the meantime you might as well be positive and celebrate this! i struggled with that as well having had a blighted ovum before becoming pregnant with my sons. i was afraid to be too happy or get too excited because what if it was a blighted ovum again... my breasts were not as sore as my last pregnancy or even the blighted ovum one and i wondered if it was because my hormone levels were not what they should be (indicating another blighted ovum).

and then i just told myself that if it *was* another blighted ovum that no amount of worrying would change it and if it *wasn't* another blighted ovum then i was missing the whole first part of my pregnancy! seeing as this is probably my last i didn't want to miss it. i decided i might as well enjoy it, be positive and let myself feel some joy. which i did. while i also worried. feeling positive was definitely work!

my u/s was at 8wks5days and everything was great. so maybe move it up so you don't have to spend so much time worrying. you achieved your goal!! you're pregnant!! and that is pretty great.

xoxo
erik and arthur's mommy
erika

41, 10 weeks via home insemination with known donor
:+ :1sttri: :novaxnocirc: :lactivist: :dust

[juneau]

Wise words, Erika!

I caught up on the TTC thread last night and saw the newbie who lost her baby at 19 weeks due to severe chromosomal abnormalities. Now that is my current worst nightmare! I think I just need to calm down and enjoy being 16 weeks pregnant and past the first trimester.

[hockeylover]

Hi all. I'm back to the land of our DDC as well.

Juneau, I had the exact same reaction when I read Halifax's story losing her baby at 19 weeks. I guess we're never really out of the woods with worry until we hear those cries in real life. Scary as sh*t if you ask me. But at least there was a legitimate reason (chromosomal abnormalities) which doesn't make it any easier. Knowing that we're all getting to that milestone, it's simply scary.

VM, move up that ultrasound if you can. I'm sure everything is fine but it's got to be so stressful with anticipation. You'll rest much easier and enjoy your pregnancy much sooner once you know all that all is right on track.

Erika, YAY! I'm glad it's all happy and sticky in there for you too. Where do you live that it's arctic conditions inside? For me, I'm always cold so 64 degrees would kill me. I'm comfortable these days but it's also in the upper 90's here in So. Cal so the air doesn't bother me, but it's also not set in the 60's. And I take it as a good sign that you feel listless and icky. Those hormones are raging girlfriend. All good signs. I hope you feel better but relax as much as you can.

AFM, I'm doing well. I go see my doctor next week. I'll be at about 16 weeks so we'll be up to scheduling those 20 week ultrasounds and then I think I'll be on a plan of every two weeks between OB and Perinatologist. I'm feeling good. Still getting headaches but only a few days a week instead of constant. Heartburn has definitely kicked in. Even some constipatation (sorry to be graphic) which makes me feel much more huge than I really am. Fun stuff!

[wvmommy]

Wise words, Erika!

I caught up on the TTC thread last night and saw the newbie who lost her baby at 19 weeks due to severe chromosomal abnormalities. Now that is my current worst nightmare! I think I just need to calm down and enjoy being 16 weeks pregnant and past the first trimester.

i saw that too but haven't had a chance to post about it yet. i'm really behind. and i hear what you're saying, it's something i'm afraid of, too. i have a friend who lost her daughter at 22 weeks due to anecephaly and is pregnant again now, too, about 2 weeks further along than i. she was so scared before her first ultrasound that she could barely make it into the room because of weeping so hard. they had to lead her in. her new baby is fine, thankfully.

but yes, you do need to calm down and enjoy it. otherwise, you'll miss it! i'm trying really hard to take my own advice....


erik and arthur's mommy
erika

41, 10 weeks via home insemination with known donor
:+ :1sttri: :novaxnocirc: :lactivist: :dust

[juneau]

Hi Hockeylover, nice to hear from you again. I'm glad your headaches have eased off; mine too. But I keep some caffeinated iced tea handy at all times. Heartburn has definitely set in for me, too, but only at night. I've started taking Zantac when I go to bed, otherwise I often wake up in the middle of the night from reflux -- yuck!

I'm starting to bump into things with my belly -- kind of annoying, except that it's a nice reminder that I AM PREGNANT! Strange how we develop an awareness, that isn't even conscious, of where our body begins; and it is so hard to adjust when things change. I don't think I ever got used to my belly sticking out with my last pregnancy; my awareness of where that part of my body was just never caught up with reality.

Erika, you just added another paranoia for me to obsess about!! Ack!

Currently I'm a bit worried because I feel like I should be feeling the baby move more by now. Around 10-12 weeks I was sure I felt flutters, and from time to time I think I feel something now, but nothing definite enough for me to say, "Oh, that's the baby!"

Ugh. Must stop obsessing and get ready to enjoy our week's vacation, starting Sunday! I don't see the OB till the week after, which will put me right at 18 weeks -- wow!

[veganmama719]

Hi Juneau, I didn't feel my babes until I was 20-ish weeks with both since I had anterior placenta with both of them.

Erika, I took your advice and called the RE. But the earliest I can get an u/s there is Aug 21. It's still 2.5 weeks sooner than the one I had scheduled so I am taking it but I still have 3 weeks to wait.

[hockeylover]

I'm definitely NOT feeling anything yet. I've felt a lot of muscle movement that feels more like the 3rd trimester when you feel elbows and knees repositioning. That's definitely not the first flutters. I suspect it'll be any moment, especially with two in there for me. But nothing official yet. So Juneau, I wouldn't worry yet. Remember, they're still only about 5-6 inches and our bellies are way bigger than that.

And speaking of bellies, where I am at work, there are some tight aisle ways that I have to get through. That's definitely getting tougher. Or trying not to knock something off someone's desk as I pass through.

Good for you VM for moving up the US. You'll feel better knowing all is good, even if it's still a few weeks away.

[veganmama719]

LOL, Juls, I have a good visual of you and your twin belly trying not to knock things off people desks. Are you gonna post a pic?

[hockeylover]

Here's the link.

http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v631/HockeyBW/DSC_3382.jpg

Relatively speaking, I'm not that big considering I've got two in there. And there are still people who can't tell that I'm pregnant. I told a friend yesterday at work, standing right in front of him, and he didn't know. Guess those big maternity tops are still hiding it well. I'm about 16 weeks. I can't believe I'm not more obvious to the world. Hey, I'll run with it while I can.

[juneau]

Cute picture! I'm so lame, I haven't even taken one yet. I'd better get busy!

[juneau]

OK, here goes:
16-week belly (http://farm4.static.flickr.com/3212/2722833825_d3249f1e69.jpg)

[juneau]

Goin' on vacation; see you gals in a week! :joy: :joy:

[wvmommy]

Goin' on vacation; see you gals in a week! :joy: :joy:

have fun, and great picture! i can't wait till my belly is sticking out like that.

xoxo
erik and arthur's mommy
erika

41, 10 weeks 4 days via home insemination with known donor
:+ :1sttri: :novaxnocirc: :lactivist: :dust

[veganmama719]

Juls and Juneau, cute bellies!

Just got back from a long weekend out of town for a DH-family thing (one of 3 this month ugh). I.Am.So.Tired.

My major PG symptom: Having very vivid dreams in which I am really mad at people. But never the person that I really am annoyed at in my wakin glife (MIL).

[veganmama719]

Hey ladies, are you all busy growing your babies or what?

[hockeylover]

Oh definitely growing those Boo-Boo's. I definitely have popped in the last week. Still need to take a photo of DD hugging my belly while her arms barely make it around me.

Juneau, you look pretty small which is great.

Erika, we'll need to see some photos soon

Went to the doctor on Wednesday. I'm just starting 18 weeks today. I'm still not feeling anything yet but when my Dr. put the ultrasound wand on my belly, those babies were hopping. I don't remember DD moving around so much like that. They were practically doing flips. DH was with me and he always has trouble knowing what he's looking at in the ultrasound. This time, it was crystal clear - head and spine. Very obvious which was so cool, on both of them. We scheduled our structural ultrasound for the 19th since we're going out of town the following week. DD will come with us for that one so she can see the Boo-Boo's in action. That appointment will kick off my every two weeks alternating between my OB and perinatologist. At the peri, they have the better ultrasound equipment so that'll be cool for DD.

Overall, feeling good. Getting big. Waiting for those flutters. I figure that'll happen in the next few weeks.

[juneau]

Hi everyone, I'm back from vacation. I had a great time and felt well enough to hike, bike and kayak! We did some pretty serious hiking miles (OK, well, about 3) given the fact that it was hilly, rugged, we were dragging a three-year-old, and one of us was pregnant!

Juls, I'm glad to hear your babies are jumping around a lot even though you can't feel them. I feel something every now and again that makes me think "baby" but it's never immediately repeated and it's irritatingly vague -- like it could be something else, I'm not entirely sure. Frustrating. I am 18 weeks on Tuesday. I see my doctor tomorrow -- I made the appt. for 10 a.m. and it's a 30 minute drive (what was I thinking?!?). We're definitely not early risers around here...

I guess I'll be scheduling my structural u/s at that visit, but I'm really nervous about it. I really don't want to know if there are any Downs markers, for instance. I only want to know if there is something about the baby that would mean I have to deliver at the hospital with the higher-level NICU. That's IT. The doctor can get all the info he wants; I just don't want him to tell me about it. And I definitely don't want to know the sex!

Veganmama, I forget, does your MIL know you are pregnant? I still haven't told my brothers! I told dh maybe we should call them this week now that we are back from vacation...

[veganmama719]

Wow, you guys are all getting so far along! How exciting that you are starting to feel kicks and flutters, or seeing them hopping around!

Wow, you haven't told your brothers yet Juneau?

We plan to tell MIL (and everyone else) on Aug 23rd if everything goes well at the u/s on Aug 21st. There is a family party that day so it seems like a good time. I am b*tchily not telling MIL ahead of the rest of the family this time as she is annoying me beyond belief.
I realize that I am being a hormonal b*tch but quite frankly I don't care and she deserves it since she never thinks of anyone else but herself.

My parents are arriving from Vancouver on Oct 7th to see us and my sister and her baby (9 months). We will tell them then. Actually I will be 16.5 weeks so I guess they will probably just be able to see when they arrive!

Oct 7th is the day that the PG I lost was due and it is also the day my kid's caregiver goes away for a month and my kids will have to go to someone else for a month (I haven't figured this part out yet).

You'd think with my parents here for 2 weeks and my ILs living 4 blocks away from us (my MIL works 3.5 days a week and my FIL is retired) I wouldn't be stressing about finding someone to look after my kids but alas, neither set of grandparents would ever offer to look after their grandchildren. DS will be in school half days and DD full days.

Boy, aren't I a bundle of :joy: and :love today???

My sister does know, I told her the morning after I found out as SHE is happy and supportive but she has a 9 month old herself so she is not able to come over for an hour or two so I can sleep, KWIM? Which is what I really need right now.

[juneau]

Hi Veganmama,
Sorry you are having MIL troubles. I have issues with mine but at least she doesn't live nearby. How weird that neither your parents nor your in-laws would offer to watch your children! My parents came running when I told them how sick I was in the beginning of this pregnancy.

I haven't told my brothers because my one SIL was a complete b*&#CH when my son died (2nd trimester). She was pregnant at the same time and basically never said, "I'm sorry for your loss," and in fact spoke to me again during the rest of her pregnancy. I let her know how hurtful it was when I met her baby, but then they never acknowledged the two losses I had last summer (one of which was life-threatening) so I just kind of don't speak to them any more. The other SIL is hopelessly clueless so I don't talk to them much, either. I would probably be closer to my brothers if they weren't married! Anyhow, they don't live nearby, and I only see them at Thanksgiving -- which I won't be traveling for this year -- so there hasn't been any good reason to tell or not.

Did you grow up in Vancouver? I usually visit there at Thanksgiving, since my brother lives in Seattle, and I usually need to escape after a few days. I LOVE visiting there and my dd thinks the whales at the aquarium are amazing (me too). We take the train, which we all love too.

Juls, my structural u/s is scheduled for the 19th, too! I just wanted to get it over with. The worst parts of this pregnancy so far (aside from throwing up all the time) have been stressing out waiting for u/s's. The baby sounded fine on Doppler today.

[hockeylover]

VM, Ugh, I'm so sorry that you're having such issues with the extended family. I've got my parents and MIL nearby. My MIL doesn't work (she doesn't do much to begin with - don't get me started) so she's always available when we need her in a pinch. But it's coming to a point where, in a real emergency, I think I'd trust my 5 year old to make the more mature decision. LOL. My parents are happy to help, as long as it fits into my mother's schedule. My Mom's aware of the extra help we may need with the twins. We'll see if she really comes through. I'm not holding my breath at this point. A couple of years ago I had some outpatient surgery to remove a cyst on my ovary. When I inquired if she could help with DD that day, she couldn't because it interfered with her book club. I nearly jumped through the phone and strangled her thus, my confidence is not all that high on the actual help I'll get when these two are born.

Just know that you're not alone.

Juneau, I'm sorry you had to go through a completely unsympathetic SIL. I understand that she probably didn't know *what* to say, but still, think of something. Again, to bring up my family, when I had my very first unsuccessful IVF, my parents and sister didn't know what to say so they all said nothing. So here I am, going through all this sadness and they're not asking how I'm feeling, or we're sorry or anything. That was actually worse than the pregnancy not sticking (which I didn't expect it to because of some other extenuating circumstances). It pissed me off and they didn't understand why I was upset. I guess that's why the MB and this thread helps. We have a place we can vent and we know that we support each other 100%.

I guess we'll be able to compare notes on the 19th about our healthy, growing beans. Don't stress out. Everything is going to be fine for both of us. And then we'll just cruise ahead towards the finish line.

[juneau]

Juls, I had the same experience as you with IVF! The same SIL came to visit somewhat unexpectedly, just as I was beginning my stim shots. She had just let slip accidentally (via an e-mail that was sent to me by mistake) that she was pregnant and then called to say she and my BIL were coming to visit us. Needless to say, it was very awkward all around and I really just wanted to be left alone. When that cycle failed I heard nothing from them.

I tried FET and found out just after my niece was born that I was pregnant. But my betas were not good and by the time I had the U/S there was nothing to see. I stopped the progesterone shots and "miscarried" at 8 weeks. I didn't visit my niece until she was a year old, and then I cried half the time I was there, because I had turned 40 and just given up TTC for good (in retrospect -- hah!). Luckily, my parents were very understanding.

Ironically, just after that visit, I got pregnant with my dd -- my first ever real pregnancy, and unassisted! But my relationship with my SIL/B around pregnancy and childbirth has always been strained.

[wvmommy]

last night i had a really *terrible* dream! i went to my gynecologist's office because i wanted to pick up a picture of the baby (it wasn't really my dr and i have no idea why i needed to go to him to get a pic). he called me out into the waiting room and my sister and my mother (who passed away 8 years ago) were sitting there. the dr starting saying something about his schedule and how i was going to have to let go. i was like, 'let go of what? find another dr?' and he said, 'no... it's probably best of you just let go this time' and i was like, 'speak plainly! what are you trying to say?' and my sister chimed in, 'he's telling you to terminate the pregnancy'. i said to her, 'you—keep quiet. i want to hear him tell me this.' but he wouldn't look me in the eye and he just kept telling me to let go let go. then a minister came in and started touching my shoulders from behind. i whirled around and said, 'you, motherfucker, back off. don't touch me, you hear?' but he kept touching me anyway and his eyes were huge and wide open and weirdly sad. i said, 'someone is going to have to tell me what is going on! why are you telling me to kill my baby?!' and the dr just kept shrugging his shoulders and looking around but not looking me in the eyes. i couldn't figure out why he would say this when everything i had heard so far was good and all reports had been good. i just kept thinking that this man is wrong and i'm going to walk away from here. no way will i let him kill my baby. the priest wouldn't quit pawing at me and i turned around and bit him but he didn't even react. it was awful! what was that all about???? now i am paranoid that something is wrong with my baby....

erik and arthur's mommy
erika

41, 11 weeks 6 days via home insemination with known donor
:+ :1sttri: :novaxnocirc: :lactivist: :dust

[wvmommy]

Erika, we'll need to see some photos soon

how do i do that?

erik and arthur's mommy
erika

41, 11 weeks 6 days via home insemination with known donor
:+ :1sttri: :novaxnocirc: :lactivist: :dust

[juneau]

Erika, that dream sounds horrible. Just chalk it up to pregnancy-loss paranoia coupled with the vivid dreaming of pregnancy and try to forget about it. Or re-dream it -- if it comes up again, try inventing a sympathetic doctor or pastor to come to your rescue.

To post links to pictures, first upload a photo to a photosharing web site, like Flickr. Once you have the photo on the site make sure it is publicly available and copy the link into the MDC message. Do you know how to add links to messages?

[wvmommy]

Erika, that dream sounds horrible. Just chalk it up to pregnancy-loss paranoia coupled with the vivid dreaming of pregnancy and try to forget about it. Or re-dream it -- if it comes up again, try inventing a sympathetic doctor or pastor to come to your rescue.

to add to the whole thing, or maybe this is why i dreamt it, i had the tiniest bit of spotting yesterday. i don't think you could even rightly call it spotting. there was a tiny bit of old blood about a 1/3 the size of a pea. i called the dr's office about it and they said it was probably from the pap smear i had last week and since i had no cramps not to worry. still, after what i have been through it's hard not to worry.

as for posting links, i *think* i do but i'm not sure....

erik and arthur's mommy
erika

41, 11 weeks 6 days via home insemination with known donor
:+ :1sttri: :novaxnocirc: :lactivist: :dust

[juneau]

So next week is a big u/s week for all of us; and Erika, you're almost in the second trimester! Hallelujah!

Erika, just copy the photo link into your clipboard, then when you are on MDC entering a message, click the little world with a chain link icon above the message. When the window pops up to "enter the URL of your link" just paste it in and you're good to go.

Sorry you had spotting; that's always scary. But it probably is the pap. That's one reason I guess my doc waits till 2nd trimester to do those -- I just had it done yesterday.

Veganmama, what specifically are you PO'd at your MIL for these days?

[wvmommy]

thanks! you know, there seems to be differing opinions about when the second trimester starts. some sources say 12 weeks, some say 14, one i saw said 15. what do you think?

as for the pap, the more i think about it the more absurd it seems that they do it at all. and in my case they really had no reason. they said it was to check for stds, but i had all that done with my last pregnancy and i haven't had sex in well over a year. sometimes i feel like drs just want to feel like they're doing *something* so that they can convince themselves they belong where they really don't.

i am particularly angry at drs today. i also found out yesterday that the boob who did my c/s closure my uterus with single layer sutures rather than double, which makes this dr skeptical about allowing me to VBAC. little does she know that i am shopping for a midwife and that she is only shadow care. nonetheless, i am angry that the last dr did that. when the nurse told me this yesterday i asked her why the dr would have done it like that and she said, 'she was probably in a hurry'. WHAT?!?!?!? so now i get to dig up info about VBAC with single layer suturing. it shouldn't be such a struggle just to do what comes naturally.

erik and arthur's mommy
erika

41, 11 weeks 6 days via home insemination with known donor
:+ :1sttri: :novaxnocirc: :lactivist: :dust

[veganmama719]

Erika, I had a pap at my first prenatal visit at my GP's office last weekn too and she warned me I might have a little spotting. It sounds exactly like what yours is.
I love the midwives office. They never do an internal until you are well in to labour!

Juneau, I am so excited about your u/s!!!! And mine too, LOL, next Thursday.

My MIL is just a very selfish person. Everything has to be according to her schedule and her likes and her convenience. Currently I am PO'd with her because she planned a family event at her weekend place for the weekend of the 23rd. It's an hour out of town, everyone is expected to stay the night, and we have had 2 other events up there already this month.
I don't want to go. I am too tired to keep packing my kids up every weekend. Plus I have stuff to do at home! Like sleep, LOL!
Her brother has to be out of his house that week, the closing date is the 24th.
Her nephew's wife has 2 small children and fibromyalgia and is currently off works she is so sick. They live about 2 hours away.
Her niece doesn't want to go. She also has 2 kids and is busy and also doesn't want to spent that much in gas every weekend.
One of the guests of honour (it's an anniversary party that could easily have been held in town) hates going up there and never spends the night.
Her sister offered to have the party in town. But MIL already had her mind made up.

But SHE likes to spend every weekend up there in the summer. And loves to be the Queen Bee and this way she is the host and gets to delegate everything. And she gets to be up there for the weekend.

She has assigned her brother and SIL that are moving to make chili con carne and a baked ham. For 60 people. They are MOVING that week for heaven sakes.

She tried to get me to offer to make brunch for the priest last weekend (it as another big anniversary party). I work full time plus, as does my DH. Plus he is studying for 2 big exams in the next few weeks so I have been doing EVERYTHING at home and with the kids. AND I have 2 small children. She works 3.5 days a week and FIL is retired.

Needless to say I played dumb, pretended I didn't know what she was hinting at and did not make brunch. We didn't even arrive until mass at 1 pm.

She lives 4 blocks from us in town and if she babysits 4 times a year I'd be suprised. When she does offer it is always at the last second and when she has nothing betteer to do.

Yes, I am bitter and hormonal and b*tchy.

LOL, you did ask though, :)

[juneau]

Veganmama, ugh, your MIL sounds like an insensitive megalomaniac. Good for you for not cooking brunch -- I couldn't imagine cooking anything during my first trimester! Sounds like more of you should say "no!" to her more often. It also sounds like that's tough to do, since she obviously makes up her own mind about what each of you should be willing to contribute.

Erika, I say 12 weeks! That's what FF says, anyway. Actually my m/s started to ease at 13 weeks and my energy came back at 15, so I can see why there are varying opinions.

[veganmama719]

Erika, I am sad to say that I puked every day from 6 weeks to 20 weeks with my DD. With DS I never lost the first trimester exhaustion. That said, they say (ahem) "older women"'s hormone levels are lower so they are usually less sick and tired.
So far this PG and I am definitely less sick and less tired.

Of course thathas me paranoid that this is another BO PG.

[juneau]

Erika, welcome to the FF second trimester! Where are those belly pix?

Hey, I've been having some pain just below and to the right of my belly button. It's achy, and I think I feel a lump when I push on it. If I weren't pregnant, I'd be putting a heating pad on it from time to time. My midwife friend suggested it could be a fibroid; sounds reasonable to me. Anyhow, I'm hoping the U/S next week will give some clues. It's been bugging me for a couple of weeks now. Not terribly painful, but always there, you know?:(

[veganmama719]

Juneau, blech! It's never fun to have something else to worry about during PG is it? Do you have a history of fibroids?
I hope that u/s can give you some piece of mind.

I'm actually really nervous. My BBs are no longer really sore and I'm still not really sick at 8w6d. I am a little tired but I had major symptoms with both my kids. I just can't help thinking it's another blighted ovum.

Erika, I am assuming no more spotting for you chica?

Juls and Vicki and anyone I missed, I hope you are doing well!!!

[juneau]

Veganmama, I'm sorry you're so worried. It must feel like a long wait till next Thursday; but at least it's only another week.

AFM, I've had gazillions of fibroids, so it wouldn't be anything new. They're not usually painful, though but then, I'm not usually pregnant, either!

[veganmama719]

The weeks have been going pretty quickly at least. Hopefully this one will too. Soon it will be the weekend ( a MIL-free one at that!) and they always go fast. I am at a spa (just mani/pedis) with women colleagues on Wednesday afternoon and I took all of Thursday off for th u/s.

When did you all sto feeling SO worried? Was it when you saw the HB(s) or when you were through the first trimester?

Juneau, so you do any TCM fr the fibroids? Not that I'm suggesting you do it now, LOL, but have you done it or thought about it in the past? There is a whole chapter in The Infertility Cure abuot fibroids that I thought was pretty interesting.
I just loaned the book to a colleague who I recently found out has been TTC for 3 years. She's 28. She has fibroids but her DH is a doctor so I think they have just pursued western medicine. They are currently undergoing some testing at the Fertility Centre (where my horrible RE is, in fact she has my horrible RE who is very, very popular) but I think they are open to exploring eastern medicine at this point.

Speaking of my RE, I have an appointemnt with her right after my u/s. I am not sure why as they didn't help me get PG and I have been seeing my regular doc. I just called them becasue I wanted an earlier u/s.

Anyway, I am contemplating telling them that I took DHEA for 4 months even though it is "not available" in Canada. Even though you can get it OTC in the US, Health Canada will not let it in to the country (which I did not know when I ordered online, LOL). The fertility centre in Toronto is doing a study with it and I know several US centres have been studying it for a few years. The Cent