View Full Version : Train time!
redebeth 05-21-2008, 03:19 PM Would you let an 8 year old ride Amtrak alone? Their policy is to allow 8 and up to ride by themselves, after you fill out forms and wait with them. They are chaperoned. My son would be traveling 40 min. with one stop between dad's house and mine. I want mama feedback as I am wishy-washy on this.
dawningmama 05-21-2008, 04:54 PM Hmmm, I dunno. I think it depends on the kid. My son (now 10), I probably would have before he was dx'd with type 1 diabetes. My dd is 8 now and I think she'd be fine, but only if she felt the same. My dd who is 6---yeah, I'd probably let her go when she's 8. She's very independent and self-confident by nature. She's also quite good at asking for help when she needs it.
What does your son say/feel?
alllyssa 05-21-2008, 05:16 PM No way. An airplane yes, but not a train with stops, people getting on and off. No way.
redebeth 05-21-2008, 05:55 PM He's is very independent. He would be absorbed in a book the whole trip, I would think. I should say that he will be very close to 9yrs. old if/ when we start this.
I have asked him what he thought, and he sounded kind of mixed about it. I haven't been on a train with him in about a year, so I am not sure if he remembers what it's like.
Part of my thoughts about the safety aspect include weighing the chance of him getting nabbed against the likelihood of a car accident. The stretch of highway that we take is very dangerous, and there are always jams from bad accidents there. This would eliminate that very real danger, but replace it with a different one. A less likely, but possibly more serious one.
I would really like to be comfortable doing this. I have driven a ridiculous amount over the last three years because of this situation, but I don't want that to cloud my vision. I feel like if this was really dangerous, Amtrak wouldn't do it. You know?
dawningmama 05-21-2008, 06:22 PM Well, I think there are probably lots of 8 year olds who are ok with this. I'm thinking mainly of kids who live in areas with lots of public transportation. We have friends who live in Queens and Brooklyn whose kids take public buses to and from school and extracurricular activities at that age or very close to it.
We don't get the chance to use much public transportation out here in the 'burbs, but it is something I'd like to work on and get my kids comfy with.
1growingsprout 05-21-2008, 06:28 PM Probably but it would depend on the following
1. how busy is the train, is there a less busy train time that would work?
2. are you confident his father would be at the other end to meet him 100% of the time
3. will ds have a cell phone for emergencies
4. is it possible to you to buy a ticket (i dont know prices on trains) or something like a monthly famiily pass where you could ride with him, make sure his dad is there then take the next train home.... same thing to pick him up if needed.
My only concern would be him getting off the train at the wrong stop. I've rode on amtrak a lot, and It is always pretty chaotic at stops. I'd call and find out what they do, if anything, to be sure the child doesn't get off at the wrong stop. If they had an employee with the child for all the stops to make sure they stay put until the right stop then I would be fine with it. They do have people standing at all the doors during stops to help people out, so perhaps they are all made aware of the child and that is when they make sure he isn't getting off at the wrong stop. I don't think I would trust that method if it was a full train though.
guest^ 05-21-2008, 08:30 PM Absolutely not.
IMHO, eight is waaay to young. Too many what ifs. Too much for a young DC to handle-no matter the maturity.
mp
kennedy444 05-21-2008, 08:33 PM Totally depends on the individual child but since it is only 40 minutes and there will be a chaperone, YES, as long as child was totally comfortable and not scared at all.
nextcommercial 05-21-2008, 09:25 PM I rode from St Louis to Chicago and back often at that age. I rode the train from Arlington Heights into Chicago often too. (about 45 minutes I think)
That doesn't mean I would let my own 8 year old do that by herself though. It's hard to say. I mean, if he's used to riding the train, he's chaperoned, and you know his Dad will meet him at the station, I think I would take him on a few trial runs first though. Just to make sure he knows all the landmarks, and you are sure he won't get off on the wrong stop. Even with a chaperone, I would want to KNOW my child knew how to do it completely alone just in case the chaperon wasn't paying attention.
lovemy4boys 05-21-2008, 10:52 PM *
redebeth 05-21-2008, 11:00 PM I agree with the thought that urban kids are used to this stuff. Starting in 6th grade I would take the 22 Fillmore from one end of SF to the other everyday and I survived just fine. And that wasn't in very nice neighborhoods.
I would love to do this with him, but the cost is prohibitive. It's $15 per way so for me to go and bring him back that would be $45 8 times a month. Ouch. The point of this is to let up on the amount of driving I have to do, for environmental and monetary reasons, as well as the time it takes me. I also do think it would be more of an adventure than sitting in the car 8 more hours a month. (he spends about 42 hours a month riding in a car. Geez!)
I would be on the receiving end, his dad would put him on the train.
The cell phone for the trip is a good idea. I've taken this train ride a couple of times, and it's never been very busy. He would be taking it at off hours in the evenings on weekends or opposite commuter traffic weekdays.
I don't know. Is it wrong to trust a major corporation with my precious child? You can trust them, right? Okay, just kidding. I'm at a loss because I agree with everyone here.
tessie 05-22-2008, 04:16 AM I used to do a 200 mile train trip (with multiple stops) to my Grandparents from age nine upwards. I was fine with it* but it really depends on the child. I also don't think the world has become less safe in the intervening twenty years.
*Apart from a few years later when I had to take along my younger sister - so annoying! :wink
Oh.this was in the UK, but I don't suppose that makes much difference.
Ann-Marita 05-22-2008, 06:00 AM I would love to do this with him, but the cost is prohibitive. It's $15 per way so for me to go and bring him back that would be $45 8 times a month. Ouch. The point of this is to let up on the amount of driving I have to do, for environmental and monetary reasons, as well as the time it takes me. I also do think it would be more of an adventure than sitting in the car 8 more hours a month. (he spends about 42 hours a month riding in a car. Geez!)
Maybe you could do the trip with him once or twice (or more if needed), just to get him familiar with it all. Then try it once without you riding with him. You could check in every 10 or fifteen minutes with the cell phone.
dawningmama 05-22-2008, 06:11 AM I think there are a bunch of smart-commuter tips you can give him---where is best to sit on the train, make friends w/ your conductor, etc. And I would probably tell him to look around and if he spies a mama and a kid to sit in their vicinity. I know if I were riding the train w/ my kiddos and I saw another kid alone, I'd probably keep my radar up for him.
StephandOwen 05-22-2008, 08:06 AM Maybe you could do the trip with him once or twice (or more if needed), just to get him familiar with it all. Then try it once without you riding with him. You could check in every 10 or fifteen minutes with the cell phone.
This is what I would do. Make the trip a couple times with him on the train until he's 100% comfortable with it. Sure, it's extra money that I'm sure you don't want to spend, but if it helps him become comfortable with the trip then I can't see the harm in it.
I think there are a bunch of smart-commuter tips you can give him---where is best to sit on the train, make friends w/ your conductor, etc. And I would probably tell him to look around and if he spies a mama and a kid to sit in their vicinity. I know if I were riding the train w/ my kiddos and I saw another kid alone, I'd probably keep my radar up for him.
Great tips!
Jessy1019 05-22-2008, 08:37 AM Assuming he's been on a train before and was okay with the idea, yes, I would.
Needle in the Hay 05-22-2008, 01:34 PM Starting in 6th grade I would take the 22 Fillmore from one end of SF to the other everyday and I survived just fine. And that wasn't in very nice neighborhoods.
I think I took that bus once. It was like a lesson in city demographics.
I would definitely go with him. If his dad is unwilling to ride the train back with him, then I guess I'd go with the chaperone thing and really make sure DS knows where he has to get off and to keep track of time, etc.
It would be hard for my DS even though we take trains all the time. It's old hat to him but he doesn't usually pay much attention to the stops as they are announced, though of course he's younger than your son and easily distracted in general.
belovedofbast 05-22-2008, 01:45 PM If your son is fine with it, and you are confident in his abilities, I say, try it out. What I would do, the first time, is ride it with him. My mom used to do this when I was going to a new place that would require repeat trips (school, dentist etc) so that I would be comfortable with it, and that was that. I appreciated that she did it once and I was good to go after that.
violet_ 05-22-2008, 03:10 PM Sure!
But I'd probably take a trip or two with him first, and make sure he has a cell with your and Dad's numbers programmed in. As long as he's chaperoned, I think it's fine.
To the poster who said their kids flew at age 5 -- what airline was that? It seems like more require kids to be 8 or so. We have a 7 yo we'd like to be able to send places occasionally.
lovemy4boys 05-22-2008, 04:59 PM *
marybethorama 05-22-2008, 07:01 PM I had a bad experience with a child-hating conductor on Amtrak so I hate them on principle but since the other staff were fine, I might be okay.
For a short trip too, it would probably be okay
Tigerchild 05-22-2008, 07:37 PM Do you think your child is ready?
What is the chaperone like? Are they dedicated to your kid exclusively, will be with them constantly, or is it like an occasional peek in (kind of like the old 'chaperoning' of unaccompanied children on airplanes)?
Do the chaperones have criminal background check/are you allowed to meet them first to see if they give you the willies?
I could see some 8 year olds being ready to do that. But not all. I'm sure that there are some 14 year olds that aren't quite ready. :)
If you do let him go, I like the idea of his own cell phone, and you going with him the first time, personally I think it'd be worth the cost (though I agree going EVERY time would be prohibitive).
OhDang 05-22-2008, 11:45 PM It depends. They do supposably watch out for the younger kids, but there are some REAL weird people on those trains. I rode amtrak for 4,5,6 hours back and forth all the time when i was about 16 and i always had strange men staring at me, very creepy. :(
harleyhalfmoon 05-23-2008, 05:36 AM No way, no how. The train conductors and ticket takers have their own jobs to do. Many, probably most, are very nice and do keep an extra eye out for young children traveling by themselves, but they also need to be walking up and down the train, in the different train cars doing their jobs, so your child would be alone in a car with strangers, even when the train is stopped for passengers to get on and off. And what happens if your child gets off at the wrong stop or, if for some reason his Dad isn't there to pick him up (flat tire, traffic, car accident, etc.)?
attachedmomto3 05-23-2008, 09:22 AM i could never do it. just my humble opinion. i'm too nervous for that or even on a plane.
pigpokey 05-23-2008, 07:52 PM I don't know. Is it wrong to trust a major corporation with my precious child? You can trust them, right? Okay, just kidding. I'm at a loss because I agree with everyone here.
Yes, but it's not wrong to trust your child with himself, if he's ready. I'm at a loss as to why moms of today think our kids can't do what we did WITHOUT CELL PHONES. He doesn't even have to have one but the fact that you probably do makes all the difference. Heck, if I was out in the world and my mom was out in the world there was no way to reach her even if I went to a pay phone or got a shopkeeper to let me use his phone. How did I survive?
I mean come on, he gets off at the wrong station. At a loss for the crisis there. Kinda a pain but if he's properly learned he'll just go tell the Amtrak people he's in the wrong place. Given that all parents have cell phones there is just no real problem.
Kessed 05-23-2008, 09:09 PM I would go with him the first time.
Then I would write out a 'plan' with him. Get him to help you describe the route so he knows what order things come in. Like "First we went throught the town with a green station - then we went over the bridge"... Something that he could refer to to assure himself that he hadn't missed his stop.
I would also go over what he should do if he got off at the wrong stop.
I used to take the bus home from school (public transit - so no chaperone) at that age. I had to make 1 change. And my parents went over with me what I should do if I missed my stop. In my case - since it looped through the neighborhood - I should wait until the close part of the return loop. And if I 'really' missed my stop - I should stay on the bus until it reached the mall at the end of the route and call on a pay phone rather than getting off in a different neighborhood and trying to walk home.
I would also go over with him what he should do if he's being 'bothered' by a stranger. That he shouldn't do something like try to hide by going to the 'bathroom' where he could be followed - but instead move closer to other passengers.
I would totally let an 8yo ride a train. But I would want that kid to be prepared.
♥Star 05-24-2008, 06:13 AM No, I wouldn't. To me, 40 minutes isn't that long, I would take the ride with him, and then go back home.
redebeth 05-24-2008, 12:17 PM Thanks for all the support! This summer we will practice together, two or three times, and then he can go solo if he is ready. Like I said previously, I would love to do this with him, but it is too much money to spend on a regular basis.
It will be a big step, but I think in the end it will be great for both of us.:)
phathui5 05-24-2008, 05:26 PM Chaperoned by who?
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