Who's here PAL (Pregant After Loss)?

[triscuitsmom]

There seem to be a few of us who were on here PAL in the thread down below, so I thought I'd start a thread for us all here.

I'm Alison, pregnant for the 8th time. I had a miscarriage at 5 weeks, chemical pregnancy, miscarriage at 9 weeks, miscarriage of twins one at 5 and one at 7 weeks, then my one and only living child, and then in the last three cycles I've had a chemical pregnancy, an early miscarriage and now here I am pregnant again.

I know the odds are against me but I feel so good about this pregnancy and I'm praying really hard I get to stay.

*hugs* for all the other PAL Mamas, come sign in here we can encourage each other through this amazing and scary time. :love

[Eliseatthebeach]

I just got a BFP last Friday. I have three awesome girls, see siggy. I lost a baby girl at 20 weeks this past Feb.
I am due with this new baby Feb 6th. I am happy and scared. I will be doing all I can to stay positive no matter how hard it is.

[SoPac]

I had a m/c with my first pregnancy. I have a 19 mo. old daughter and I just found out I'm pregnant. I'm nervous but so far so good! I'm really trying to stay grounded and trust my body, drinking rrl and nettles tea daily, no caffeine, easy on the exercise, considering NOT swimming for a month or two. I'm not a BIG swimmer but it really got me through this winter which was rough with an active toddler. She will stay in the childwatch room at the YMCA so it was actually a nice time to have to myself.

[elspethshimon]

I had a miscarriage back in March.

We were going to start actively trying again next month, but I got a BPF on Thursday (and Friday).


I'm happy about this pregnancy, but I am not feeling excited. And I'm not even all that convinced I'm pregnant.

[northwoods1995]

I had a loss in November.

[DreamsInDigital]

I'm Lydia, momy of 4 and one angel we lost at 13 1/2 weeks in April.

I am still struggling to convince myself to let go and be happy for the opportunity to grow a baby, because the fear is pretty overwhelming.

[cagnew]

I am Corrie. Mother of one earth baby and two angel babies (last Aug and Feb).

Praying this one sticks. I can't bear the thought of having my heart broken again.

[AllyRae]

I'm Ally, and this is my 4th pregnancy. My first pregnancy resulted in my now 4 year old son. My second pregnancy resulted in my son Ryland, who died seconds before birth at 41 weeks. My third pregnancy resulted in miscarriage. And now, I'm on my 4th pregnancy and I'm extremely nervous (like right now, I'm having sharp twinges in my cervix and lots of cramping and am about to give myself an anxiety attack about it...) I have something called essential thrombocythemia that developed after my 2nd birth, and it gives me about a 40-60% chance of miscarriage in the first tri, and then a large risk of pregnancy loss or IUGR, so yeah, I'm nervous.

[naturalmamaof1]

I'm Lydia, momy of 4 and one angel we lost at 13 1/2 weeks in April.

I am still struggling to convince myself to let go and be happy for the opportunity to grow a baby, because the fear is pretty overwhelming.


Chiming in to give you a big congrats! I followed your story and wish you luck!

[Baby Makes 4]

Hi,

I have miscarried three times because of a clotting disorder. Because we also are dealing with infertility DH and I have decided that this will be my last pregnancy. We are done with the TTC rollercoaster.

I am on heparin and aspirin to treat the clotting disorder and praying that it works. I want this babe so bad.

[AllyRae]

If you don't mind me asking, what clotting disorder do you have? I have Essential Thrombocythemia (so I could either hemmorage or clot. Makes it kind of hard to figure out what treatment to do). Right now, I'm on a baby aspirin every 2-3 days, but I have tons of bruises now. I don't know about heparin, but we were completely unprepared...me, my hemo, and my OB all thought we were done with pregnancies, so we didn't have a game plan. Now, I'm so excited and hoping they can come up with something quick...

[midnightmommy]

I miscarried last cycle. That was mid April I guess. We were going to wait a cycle too, but I was more randy than I've been in months (maybe even years). We just went for it! No I'm sweating bullets that I'll not make it past five weeks again. We'll see on Friday. I feel like every morning that I wake up pregnant is a victory.

[Baby Makes 4]

If you don't mind me asking, what clotting disorder do you have? I have Essential Thrombocythemia (so I could either hemmorage or clot. Makes it kind of hard to figure out what treatment to do). Right now, I'm on a baby aspirin every 2-3 days, but I have tons of bruises now. I don't know about heparin, but we were completely unprepared...me, my hemo, and my OB all thought we were done with pregnancies, so we didn't have a game plan. Now, I'm so excited and hoping they can come up with something quick...

I have lupus anticoagulant. The shots aren't so bad, my belly looks horrible though even just after 3 days of shots, I can't imagine what it'll look like in a few months.

Wow, not knowing if you could hemorrhage or clot is scary, I wonder what they will do for you.

[Baby Makes 4]

Alison, have you been tested for clotting problems or hormone deficiencies? My high risk OB said that he believes that 90% or more of women who have multiple losses have one of those problems.

I hope this is the one for you! :1praying:

[WeasleyMum]

Is this thread dead? I was kinda hoping to revive it...

I wanna hang out with the folks that BTDT, ya know? :shy

[DreamsInDigital]

It's aliiiiiiiiiiiiiiiive. *insert evil laughter and creepy music*

Sorry, I'm in a strange mood today :lol

[deuxceleste]

I had a loss on New Years Day.

[mollee19]

My name is Mollee and I had a miscarriage at 8 weeks almost two years ago. I am actually pregnant in the same month and due 3 days later than I was the time that I had the loss. Kind of a weird coincidence.

I am pretty nervous but have decided that I am going to be positive and send good energy vibes to this little bean.

I will keep all of you in my thoughts and hopefully we will all be together come February!:love

[AllyRae]

I'm still around too. I'm just trying not to get too attached to the baby until we see a heartbeat (hopefully Tuesday). I just do not feel pregnant at all, except for the amount of icky (TMI) discharge. (ick.) I'm already past the point of my last miscarriage, but I'm still extremely nervous for the first tri since the last ultrasound didn't even show a fetal pole, and I was 6 weeks then...(although I could have ovulated late, so there's some hope). Well, that, and my "safe zone" is the day I take the baby home since we lost Ry during birth.

But, I'm not even looking that far ahead. Right now, I'm just worried about whether baby sprout's ok *today*... Between not feeling pregnant and having a horribly graphic miscarriage nightmare, it's all one big mindf### I think. Ah, the joys of pregnancy after loss.

[DreamsInDigital]

Ally, I'm sort of in the same boat, except my 6 week u/s did show a fetal pole and tiny heartbeat, I still don't feel safe because my loss occurred at nearly 14 weeks.

I had a horrible miscarriage nightmare too and woke up the next day spotting. I was sure my baby was leaving me but so far everything seems okay.

[gypsy86]

my name is jenni and i'm new to the mothering boards here, but i'm on several other boards on the internet. i had a loss at 6.5 weeks in march and am stunned to find myself at almost 8 weeks now, my first ultrasound is monday, but i managed to throw myselfi into the ER already once, from dehydration because i could not stop throwing up. now zofran is my best friend.

[WeasleyMum]

my name is jenni and i'm new to the mothering boards here, but i'm on several other boards on the internet. i had a loss at 6.5 weeks in march and am stunned to find myself at almost 8 weeks now, my first ultrasound is monday, but i managed to throw myselfi into the ER already once, from dehydration because i could not stop throwing up. now zofran is my best friend.

Welcome Jenni! I had a friend go through that throwing-up/dehydration/ER cycle when she was pregnant, urgh. I hope the zofran helps.

[mamamelia]

add me in please. have had 2 miscarriages - one at around 5 weeks and another at 10 weeks which was pretty traumatic for me because everything was actually perfect the afternoon before (via ultrasound) and something went wrong that night and i birthed our little one early the next morning (held his little body in my hands).
i have 2 beautiful little girls too - feel blessed to have them. i'm excited about this pregnancy but i'm trying to not let myself get too excited even if we get a good ultrasound result at 10 weeks, iykwim. in fact i said to myself today that i will pretend i am not pregnant so that i won't be as disappointed than if i had gotten my hopes up. i have no major symptoms (except a bit of cramping once a day) so it's not too hard to ignore the fact that i am pregnant. never had morning sickness with previous pregnancies though, just a little bit of nausea/aversions from 5+ weeks. still sitting at 4w2d.

nice to meet you all! :love i hope we are all here for the long run. :) :hug

[Past_VNE]

I'm here, too.

I miscarried in December, at 17 weeks. It was a blighted ovum, but was apparently twins. (Yeah, I know....really strange.) I miscarried at home, though, with a midwife and it was not very straightforward. So, I definitely worry about it happening again. I had an episode exactly one month later that was like a complete second miscarriage, it was so major. Finally, a month after that, I passed a large ball of hard "something" with no discernable parts inside. I basically had a three month long miscarriage. And this was the greatly abbreviated version of the story.

Fingers crossed for all of us!

[mexicomommy]

I was just thinking it would be nice to bond with other moms who had similar circumstances.
I am Charlsie I have 3 children on this earth and one sweet little girl that died two years ago at 32 weeks. I had ICP. I look forward to welcoming this new little one.
Charlsie

[WeasleyMum]

Does anyone else ever get that feeling like you've just been in too many DDC's at this point? This is my 4th pregnancy in the last year and a half; each time I join up with the appropriate due date club. The first time I was so excited, posting to every thread I could-- everything was new and wonderful to me, all these people thinking about the same things I was.

Now it all just seems the same-- the same threads about "where is my uterus:", "what vitamins/supplements are you taking", "who else has morning sickness", then the inevitable "I'm out" threads by every mama who's lost her pregnancy. (That always included me, by some point.) I guess just because I've been through it all before, and so recently and/or often.

I kind of feel like I can only really talk to the people who are in the same position as me-- who have experienced this loss and feel a lot more fear than joy or excitement. I'm a different person than I was when I joined that first Nov 07 DDC last year. Maybe if I make it into the second trimester, it'll all be new and fresh to me again.

[Baby Makes 4]

Mara, I feel the same way. I haven't really posted much in the DDC. This is pregnancy #6 for me and after 3 miscarriages I just don't feel comfortable enough yet to commit myself to these women. I don't want to post another "I'm out" thread.

I'm 8 weeks tomorrow and we've seen the heartbeat but I still don't feel safe, I might feel better after our second ultrasound in 2 weeks.

[WeasleyMum]

Mara, I feel the same way. I haven't really posted much in the DDC. This is pregnancy #6 for me and after 3 miscarriages I just don't feel comfortable enough yet to commit myself to these women. I don't want to post another "I'm out" thread.

I'm 8 weeks tomorrow and we've seen the heartbeat but I still don't feel safe, I might feel better after our second ultrasound in 2 weeks.



That's just it, it's hard to get all attached and invested in everyone else's story, and then suddenly not have a reason to stay around any more. Although I should probably admit that the kindness from some of my old DDC's re: the m/cs really helped me get through-- comments and PMs and stuff. Anyways I'm feeling more hopeful today than I was over the weekend. I think weekends freak me out because my RE never gave me a number to call if something happens after business hours the way my OB practice had.

8 weeks though, heartbeat, yay!! I'll be counting down those next two weeks with you.

[TayTaysMama]

Hi. I haven't been posting much at all just because I don't want to have to post the "I'm out" thread and I don't want to get too attached. My MC happened at 12 weeks and it was a blighted ovum. I really won't feel safe until I have heard a heartbeat and we won't be trying to find it until my 1st MW appointment at 10 weeks. If we can't find the HB I may go in for an u/s to see what is up and if I have a real baby in here or not. I am so nervous about not having a baby growing. It just sucked last time to feel so pg and to be so sick and then not have anything but a placenta. Until then I will just continue to lurk and post on the odd occasion.

[AllyRae]

I hear you on the due date groups.... For my only living children, I don't even have a group (I wasn't a member here until DS was a couple months old, and DD was adopted and so her due date group was closed before we even knew she existed). And I got to get all attached to my due date group with Ryland and knew them for 41 weeks and then had to say goodbye. And then the next group was the miscarriage. I'm so afraid of having to post the "I'm out" thread again. :( I've seen the heartbeat via ultrasound and I'm still scared of what could happen. :sigh:

[Larissa]

I am Larissa, and I have three sons. This is my 5th pregnancy. I lost my 2nd child at 12 weeks. Although, I am not as fearful as I was right after my loss, I still get those nervous twinges.

[mamamelia]

count me in... i've also tried to refrain from posting much about happy pregnancy things because i'm afraid i'll have to go update my "i'm out" thread sometime soon with not so good news. i'm a little more calm that things are going in my favour so far, but its no gaurantee of anything and that's what i'm most afraid of. it almost seems that whenever i'm just feeling a little calm about everything, something has to pop up and make me nervous all over again.

it really sucks, doesn't it? :(

[2goingon2]

it really sucks, doesn't it? :([/QUOTE]

Yes - it does. I find myself mostly lurking. It's nice to see excited mammas-to-be and I so want to jump right in but part of me is holding back for the same reasons as many of you. And I find myself wondering about the mammas who have suffered late losses and how they cope and do it.

Here's to peace and healthy babies for all of us.