Post-Loss-Wait (Waiting to TTC After Loss)

[adventuregirl]

I've been wandering around these boards today looking for others in my situation. I don't feel like I fit in on the pre-O thread, so started this one for anyone who is in the post-loss-wait. For some of us, its a wait until we are emotionally ready, for others its a certain time frame decided upon for our own personal reason.

So is anyone out there with me? What's your reason? How do you feel about it?

It's only 3 weeks since my m/c, but I feel at peace with it and ready to move on. I feel ready to ttc again. But I'd like to have one period before we do, so I'm waiting, who knows how long?

I sometimes feel frustrated that I have to wait (my own restriction, I know), not knowing how long that will be. Other times am just fine with it, happy to enjoy life not being pg, doing and eating the things I otherwise couldn't, working myself into a new exercise routine (flew out the window when I began spotting over a month ago) and focusing on doing good for my body as I gear up to ttc.

I also think about how it will be to be pg again, how I will feel, what I will do differently and how long it will take.

[Lucysmama]

No advice for your, adventuregirl - just a :hug . I didn't know about your loss till now. I'm sorry - it sounds like you are in a peaceful place, though. Good luck to you in your next journey!

[Abylite]

I'm really sorry about your loss. My 2nd baby was lost last May. We started trying again last month and now I'm in the 2ww again. I have no patience!! I waited longer to TTC this time to give my body a rest.

It's really hard because I "should" be pregnant right now and here we are TTC again which is a roller coaster ride in itself.

I'll be hanging out here more I think. I hope to have some good news soon. I've felt some of the things you have...

I try to think positive...if I'm not PG..getting sleep...reading novels...drinking wine.

But I really want a family too. It's not fair!!

[proudmamanow]

Hi,

This feels like a good place for me right now- thanks to adventuregirl for starting this thread. I just got my period yesterday for the first time after a m/c at 5.5 weeks 5 weeks ago.
I just got off the phone after leaving a message at my fertility clinic's office (I am trying to conceive through donor insemination in the most natural way possible under the circumstances). They had initially recommended waiting 1 full cycle, but I do believe that I'm ready now and feel strong and healthy-have been exercising & eating well, & started taking my supplements again. But the whole TTC process is SO hard; such a roller coaster, and I don`t know if I'm really ready or not. I keep thinking-well if you do get pregnant, you won't regret a thing, and I`m SO ready to be pg, but am I ready to go through this whole thing again? Not so sure.

:confused:
baby dust to all, hugs for your losses & thanks for listening,

[adventuregirl]

I hear you, ladies. Its so hard to wait, yet you can intellectualize the good things about waiting, but then your heart just hurts because you *were* pg and think about where you would be in your life had you not lost that.

Aside from all of that I am trying to focus on moving my life forward and be positive.

I had no idea what to expect from my cycle post-loss, but got soooo excited last week when I had some ewcm, and then had to talk myself out of bd-ing (or more appropriately, using protection). DH agreed, it would really be best to have one period first, but in that moment, I just wanted to make us a baby. So now I'm hoping it will be my normal 2 weeks until af shows, we shall see.... Then I shall climb back onto that rollercoaster.

I'm glad to see that others are here with me.

Abylite, best of luck this month!

[shannon0218]

Hi All,
It looks like this is the place for me as well. I received confirmation today that I indeed had a miscarriage on Friday night. It has been such a roller coaster, the pregnancy was unexpected (yah, right I was on the pill!!!!) but once it was here I never wanted anything more in my life and my dh Steve was beside himself with giddiness. The really maddening part is that the timing was SO perfect. I run my own business out of my house, I'd have delivered in June which happens to be a time of the year that 98% of my work is right here at home. Wanna be Momma, I told myself just what you said this afternoon, if I get pregnant right away--there will be NO regrets. My hcg is still at 383, does anyone know, can I conceive before it drops to 0? Is there a danger in conceiving prior to getting a real period (other than difficulty in dating?) You know, on my way home today I picked up an ovulation test. I can't believe how much I truly want a baby right now. This will sound dumb but one thing that really bugs me is that my oldest dog Havoc just loves babies so much and I was so excited that we would have one while he was still alive:confused:
Anyway, thanks for starting the thread Adventure Girl, so how many of us are trying right away??
Shannon

[Lucysmama]

Dh and I will start charting after the bleeding stops, and if it looks like I will O, we are going to try. Does that seem irreverent? I hope not. I read you have increased fertility for the first 3 months after a m/c. Does anyone know if that's true? What could be the cause of that?

Good luck to you, Adventuregirl, Wan2bemama,and Abylite!

[shannon0218]

I'm so glad to hear that Katie, we will be doing the same thing, so I suppose you and I will still be in "the same boat" ;)
This all just seems so surreal doesn't it?
I can't express how much comfort this board has brought me though.
I was just talking with a very close friend, years ago, she went through 1 miscarriage and 2 ectopics, she had told nobody and so had no real support. I told her about this because it allows you to be honest with people who understand.
It may be unreasonable but you know I really hope I get pregnant again right away--and you too.
I was waiting to get blood drawn today and I was so sad to see a girl who was all of about 15 with a tiny baby and she just looked so sad, I couldnt' help but think how screwed up the universe is that she had a healthy baby when she likely didn't want a baby at all and I lost one at a stage in my life when I'd have given my life to make the world work for one.
What can you do other than keep trying and know you can make a difference if you're given a chance.
Shannon

[adventuregirl]

Welcome Shannon, I'm sorry for your loss, ITA that these boards are such a fantastic help.

The reason we are waiting for one period is mostly for my body to have some time to recover. I also want to go through a full cycle so that my uterus is strong and back to normal. I haven't seen any real concrete evidence that not waiting for a period is any riskier, I just feel intuitively that this is what I need to do. As much as I want a baby, after being pg for 3 months and looking ahead to another 9, I feel strongly that for me, the break will do worlds of good for my body to enter into this again.

That being said, I don't think your body will accept implantation if it is not ready to handle a pregnancy. I've heard the same thing about increased fertility after m/c, not sure why though.

May we all have BFPs on our next (or most recent) try!

[shannon0218]

Hi there,
Well I think I've figured out the reason for the increased fertility after m/c. In reading on some fertility sites they sometimes give a medication with hCG in it to aid in conception. So I suppose if your hCG levels are still up from the previous pregnancy it would be similar. I was only 7 weeks along and they figure my baby died at 5 weeks so I don't know that my uterus is much different than it used to be :confused: My other issue is I have rhuematoid arthritis and I am currently on prednisone due to a terrible flare in the summer, fortunately prednisone is safe during pregnancy. I am usually on Methortrexate which is better for the disease in general but VERY unsafe for pregnacy (actually it's what they give you to abort an early ectopic) So I'd like off the prednisone because it causes me to gain a couple pounds a month. That and I just so want to hold a baby in my arms. :)
On that note, has anyone used the ovulation detectors that use saliva instead of urine?? They appear to be much cheaper even if just because they are reusable but do they work????

[proudmamanow]

Hi again everyone,

(especially to Shannon who's in Ontario too!)

Well to add to the craziness of my life right now, last night my partner & I put an offer on a house--it would be wonderful to get it, and even more wonderful to be pregnant when we move in (in Dec.).

But not helping my overall stress which is compounded by busy job, etc. I still haven't heard from fertility doctor, so think they want me to wait--this might be okay because I have such a stressful month right now that it might not help my fertility! But if I need to argue with them it won't be the first time....

Great to hear from all of you in a similar situation. Shannon-thanks for info on reasons for increased fertility, I've been really curious about that too. On the fertility monitor question, I use Clearplan fertility monitor (super expensive, but you can get it off eBay much cheaper), but that's because the saliva method isn't precise enough--with AI I need my top 2 fertile days. But if you're using a more natural method :) you may be fine with the saliva monitor.

Warning: detailled info about body stuff & :af -may not be for everyone!
Did anyone notice a difference in their menstruation after m/c ? Mine seems especially heavy & crampy and was wondering if this is normal.

Good luck to all--Hope to see you soon on a July, August, or September 2004 expecting mamas board!
:dust

[mama-aya]

Hi!
Thank you, adventuregirl, for starting this thread.
I had my second miscarriage/D&C on Sep. 18 as well. I was 9.5 weeks this time. I really feel in a pretty good place, considering. We've been ttc 2 years, and I'm not about to go buy condoms at this point! But I'm also not buying an OPK either. Of course, I've been obsessively checking cm for so long now I can't help but do it now. Nothing yet.
After my first D&C, 41/2 years ago at 14 weeks, AF came 4 weeks on the dot. DS was conceived 4 months after the miscarriage. That D&C was quick and no bleeding after, but that period was really heavy and crampy, now that I think about it, wan2bemama. Before DS my AF was usually super light and easy.
This time I've only just stopped bleeding clots last week, and three days ago was the last spotting, so who knows when I'll ever have AF again. That's probably the main reason we're not using protection. Maybe if I had any inkling that I was ovulating or that AF was coming in good time, I would try not to get pregnant. It seems like a good idea to wait, really, and give your body a chance to heal and make sure everything is cleaned out and fresh. Seems like a good idea, but I'm not doing it, so there you go. I'm trying not to obsess about it, and just see what happens.
Of course in about two weeks I'll probably start buying hpts like crazy, and imagining everything as a pregnancy symptom if AF hasn't come. Urgh!
Anyway, I'm glad this place is here, though of course I'm sorry you all have to be. Good luck!
yalisha
yalisha

[BigBelly03]

Originally posted by Lucysmama
Dh and I will start charting after the bleeding stops, and if it looks like I will O, we are going to try. Does that seem irreverent? I hope not. I read you have increased fertility for the first 3 months after a m/c. Does anyone know if that's true? What could be the cause of that?


No it does not seem irreverent, when I lost Cole I was temping & charting I detected O a mere ten days after the m/c....and he was conceived during a phase where I was not O-ing frequently. I am not sure what is the cause of increased fertility after a m/c other than the cervix being slightly open....I'm sure there is a hormonal explanation.
Anyway, I just wanted to say dh & I always started ttc immediately after each pregnancy we have lost. TTC, for me anyway, has been a source of comfort during my time of intense
grieving. I know many couples wait....if it feels right, and there is no physical reason to delay ttc, I don't see any point in waiting.

[j3l]

Hi everyone-
I think I belong here too. I had my first m/c in July and we just started ttc this month. We really wanted to get pg again so I bought the ovulation kit- hopefully it worked. I decided to spend the money and go with the brand name. We have another week or so to find out! So now I am obsessing with every feeling my body is having. I don't remember being like this with my son's pregnancy 3 years ago. This whole week I have had some constipation issues. I did have this with my last pregnancy which ended in mc so I am a little worried that I if I am pg that it won't stick. But with the mc, I didn't have these feelings until after I already knew I was pg. Has anyone else had this issue? Good luck to everyone here! For us, even though we didn't want to wait 3 cycles, I think it was for the best- both physical and emotional healing. Thanks for listening!

[adventuregirl]

Hi Everyone,

I'm popping in for an update, I got my period yesterday! Yes, I am happy about this, we decided to wait to ttc until I had one period, and here she is, yay! So now its just waiting for that fertile ewcm, but at least I have an idea of when that will show up. It was hard to wait for this period not knowing how long it would take, it was only 5.5 weeks.

Wishing you all the best in your time of healing and trying for a new bundle!

[Lucysmama]

Yay, adventuregirl! Good luck TTC this cycle...are you going over to the TTC Pre-O thread at all? I'm hanging out there!
Not for long, though...I have been taking OPKs the past few days, and today I got a nearly positive one! (Line was not as dark as control, but there for sure!)
I am so surprised! :eek I just finished bleeding about 10 days ago, and my body is already gearing up to O again!!!

So I don't think I am going to wait till after the first period. We are going to go for it this month. Let the BD begin! :banana I am sort of excited about it, cause we haven't had sex since I found out I was pregnant, miscarried, and stopped bleeding. I just didn't feel amorous...

How is everyone else doing...?

[proudmamanow]

Hi all

Katie--your little Lucy is sooooo beautiful!!! What a lovely little girl-you must be one happy mama!

Adventuregirl--good luck! I know how you feel. When I got my period again I felt relieved--it was like, oh at least something's working, something's back to normal.


Was back at my fertility docs practice today--what a joke! While they were very compassionate at the time of the miscarriage, they had obviously totally forgotten about it--the receptionist said 'boy, it`s been a while--what's your name again?`And the doc said, after my u/s revealed that I'm not ovualting yet (no surprise since that`s what my temperature & monitor & mucus also indicate), we may need to try you on medication next time. At which point I had to point out that I got pregnant last time just fine without any medication. He had obviously forgotten this, and had to look in my chart to see oh yes-you had a positive pregnancy test last time, right!

Honestly, after a number of negative experiences at this place, at least my expectations are low! (he is the only practitioner in our area and is also very affordable, which I appreciate). Still, not a nice return to the fertility clinic which I hoped not to be visiting again.


Sorry this is so long!!! Good luck to all who are trying & all who are waiting for the big O!

:) Jesse

[adventuregirl]

Katie, I posted right after you did on the pre-O thread, see you there!

Jesse, sounds like your clinic must see a lot of people. I hate it when they forget or don't even try to look up your history like that. Hope you O soon!

[greenbeing]

Yay adventuregirl!

Sending all of you many blessings and babydust :dust

[karenpl]

Go for it, Katie!!! I always found the first time intercourse after a miscarriage to be very healing. I hope it will be the same for you and that you will conceive a sticky baby really soon!!!!

Karen

[Lucysmama]

Originally posted by wan2bemama

Katie--your little Lucy is sooooo beautiful!!! What a lovely little girl-you must be one happy mama!



Awww... :love Thank you! She is such a sweetheart! I AM one happy mama!

That sucks about your Dr. not even remembering what's up with you! :angry I hate that! I once hada Dr. talk into his tape recorder he whole appointment: "Patient came in comlaining of cough, listened to chest, suspect bronchitis.Patient to begin taking drug xxxx, call for a consult." Then he got up and left. :rolleyes: I was like, WTF?!?! I am paying you 80 bucks (out of pocket) for that?!?!

Good luck everyone...I am feeling cautiously optimistic... :)

[proudmamanow]

Thanks for the supportive words,
Lucysmama/Adventuregirl...

I'm still eagerly awaiting my ovulation here, and trying not to obsess toooo much. (but without much success).
So now on to do something distracting!

:dust to everyone! Let's hope this is it!

-Jesse

[mama-aya]

I'll send optimism your way, too, Lucysmama.
Adventuregirl, I'm glad you've got AF and all, but jeesh, I'm jealous! Brother.
I still haven't got even a sign of anything happening O or AF-wise. Its driving me nuts. The thing is, the longer I'm waiting the more I'm feeling like totally going for it. Wouldn't I feel ridiculous making DH use condoms for who knows how long, for no reason?
Ugh! Everytime I think of it, I go a little mad. DH and I both said on our first date that we wanted five children, which seems awfully unlikely at this point. And I thought it was fate!
I swear, if anyone old me in my earlier years that one day I'd be crying over not getting my period quickly enough, I'd have died laughing. Seriously!
yalisha

[Lucysmama]

mama-aya: :hug So sorry AF and O are being elusive! How frustrating for you!!! :(

I feel for all of you ladies, and I am so sorry that we are all here under these circumstances, but I am happy we have others to share this difficult time with. :grouphug

How is everyone doing emotionally, while TTC or waiting for AF?

[greenbeing]

Hello- I think I'm ready to join you. I had a m/c on October 7, and am waiting for AF to show. I did have some ewcm about a week ago, so, very happy about that. I'm definitely looking forward for AF this time, though part of me hopes I'm pregnant again---silly, yes. But, around the time I think I ovulated, we had sex, and that time DH did not pull out!!!!! I know this is probably a little too much info-but I HAVE to tell someone!! We were both in the moment, and I didn't think to remind him, because we've talked about it before-but I guess he forgot, or just didn't think we'd be able to get pregnant anyway so soon.
SO-here I am with these hopes, and fears...just trying to stay healthy and enjoy.

mama-aya and wan2bemama-I hope what you're looking for shows up soon!!

[adventuregirl]

yalisha - hang in there, af will show! It pretty much sucks waiting and not knowing when, when, when???? But it will happen. I've heard that the average time after m/c is 6 weeks (however that depends on time of m/c). We had our m/c on the same day, and today is 6 weeks, so you are in the middle of average, I bet you get it in the next 2 weeks (hopefully sooner during that time).

For the first few days of this af, I had bad baby dreams. One was seeing babies that had died and the other was friends announcing pregnancies and me being unreasonably jealous. I think I had another, but can't remember. I think that bleeding again has brought these feelings to my subconscious. I have some ideas about their meaning, I know I will be jealous if someone I know gets pregnant before me, and will probably have a hard time if it takes a long time to get pg again.

[mama-aya]

thanks everyone.
I know that AF will show up, eventually. Eventually, eventually. I'm not a great wait-arounder. That 2ww is always a killer, and this is just ridiculous. With my first mc AF came quickly, really before I felt ready for it, before I was ready to not be pregnant anymore, if that makes sense. This time I've felt on one hand resigned to the mc, I guess. I got over the shock more quickly, and am moving through the grieving process more quickly. And I'm ready to get going again. Who knows how long it will take to get pg this time, or if it will last long if I do get pg, so I feel anxious to get/keep the process moving. Whatever. I'm just not a good lady in waiting.
adventuregirl, I have had a couple of weird baby dreams, being really jealous of people announcing their pgs, and also a couple with dead babies in the past few days. So maybe AF is around the corner for me, too. I hope so, 'cause those are not my favorite dreams.
In the meantime I'm building up a pretty big bit of anger for the young woman across the street who had her baby a week after this mc, and who sits on her mother's porch most of the day talking on the phone and smoking cigarettes, with the baby inside, alone. I'm super jealous of this single mom, very young woman, living with her Mom and new little baby. I try to think about how she might be feeling, how stressful it might all be for her, but I really feel so mad at her. When ds was born I spent the whole first year doing nothing but staring at him all day and night. Well, mostly. I could rarely leave him alone in the next room, and it kills me to watch someone NOT adoring their baby's every breath and twitch and sigh.
Ugh. Ah well.
I hope everyone else is managing much better than me! I must be getting ready for AF, I'm freaky emotional, obviously!
Yalisha

[proudmamanow]

Hi everyone, I know this list has been quiet for a few days, but I really need to vent & know that you are all great listeners. :)

I was in my dr's office again on Monday and I was still nowhere near ovulation--even though it was day 21. This cycle seems really messed up to me, sometimes I ovulate late, but rarely after day 21, and even my cm is different too.
On one level, I feel this is my body & nature telling me to wait, but on another level, I am ready now. I so badly want to be pregnant!

Today I finally have a bit of promising ewcm, which usually means Ovulation is 3 days away--but our doc is leaving Thursday for 4 days, only back on Monday, and we are away Sat.-Tues. So it looks like I'm not going to be able to try this cycle after all
:crying :crying :crying

I thought I was okay with it, viewing it as a break, but all it does is bring back all my feelings of --I should still be pregant! I should be 12 weeks pregnant by now, not trekking to the doctors for ultrasounds very early in the morning each week.

:(


Anyway--don't know if anyone's out there right now, but I do want to wish you all the very best :dust :dust

Here's to lots of
:+ and :belly

very soon!

thanks for listening

[shannon0218]

Hang in Jesse!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Just keep thinking, once you're finally holding that baby, one cycle will seem like nothing--I hope and that's what I'm telling myself.
When was your m/c? Mine was Oct 10 at around 6 weeks. My hormone levels are still way screwed up. I had myself a mini breakdown on friday night, bawling that I wanted my baby back and my dog back. I have to say this has been the most emotional time of my entire life. I desparately want to be pregnant again but now when I suddenly think I may be, I'm terrified and angry that I'll have to cancel my knee surgery:scratch .
Anyway, we'll all be there soon, I just know it!!!!
:hug to you and Beth.
Take care!!!
Is there anyone else who could take over for you dr if you ovulate while he's away??? Just a thought.
Shannon

[greenbeing]

:hug Hugs to both of you, Jesse and Shannon.

It is so hard waiting. Waiting for another cycle seems like eternity. I'm waiting for AF to show, no sign yet. Today was 4 weeks since the m/c. I work with two other women who are due around the same time I was, and they both just found out that they're having girls--makes me sad :(

shannon, when is your knee surgery?

[shannon0218]

Knee surgery is Nov 11, you know this sounds terrible but I just don't know what I will tell people if I do have to cancel it, I mean after last time, I'm not telling everyone--guess what I'm pregnant again!! Not till I'm sure it's a "sticker"
That would be terrible finding out what the others were having so soon after your loss. Last night I started to cry in the grocery store because this pregnant woman looked so unhappy--she was likley just uncomfortable but I felt like saying to her--do you know how lucky you are????

[adventuregirl]

We're all here for you Jesse! I know it is so hard, I o'd about 22 days after my m/c, so hang in there, it will happen.

greenbeing, that has to be hard, working with women who are at the same stage you would have been. I have to admit, I still read all of the April Mama's threads, its wierd, but I want to see how everyone is doing. I think that I would have been where they all are at too, but I am really embracing the thought that it just wasn't my time. I know I'll be pg someday, maybe not with the same people I was excited to share pregnancy with or the timing I had planned on. I really think the lesson for me in this is that I can't be in control all the time and the universe will give me a baby when its my turn.

shannon, I know what you mean about not wanting to tell anyone for a while next pregnancy. It was so hard to keep it to myself last time, but much harder to break the m/c news. I know I'll tell a few close friends and my mom, but it will be a strict secret for a while. I will need the support to get through the scary time as well as if I were to have another loss.

[proudmamanow]

Thanks so much shannon, greenbeing & adventuregirl--it`s so helpful to know there are others there who know what I'm going through! I'm feeling much better today as I had an appointment with my family Dr. (who`s wonderful) who I hadn't seen since June & she was very supportive & sympathetic & wrote me a prescription for psychology as I need that to get insurance cover.

She was very validating & I really appreciate that.

Shannon-you're so right, once I'm holding that baby it will all be worth it. I can totally relate to your emotions too--mine have been all over the place since I miscarried on Sept. 4th--Mostly these days I find I'm just coping--but at least coping ok. I was so excited to be pregnant but terrified & overwhelmed too, of course--even though this was a much wanted baby--such a mix!
thanks for the suggestion, unfortunately there`s only one doc in the practice--a long story in itself!

Greenbeing-thanks for support, it must be so hard to have those work colleagues pregnant--my partner`s best friend got pregnant at the same time as us, but had waited to tell everyone (unlike us who called EVERYONE the first day & then had to share bad news). I care about this person a lot, but just can't be happy for her...

adventuregirl--I know what you mean about sharing news, as I said, we told everyone last time, as we were ecstatic...and never suspected this would happen. But this time, I imagine we'll be more selective...


Anyway thanks everyone for listening & helping me keep things in perspective :)

:grouphug to all!

[Lucysmama]

:grouphug
Hugs all around...
Because I lost my baby so early, only one other person besides dh knew I was even pregnant. That made it so hard for me to deal with, because I really needed support from people I am close to. But it felt so weird to say, "Guess what? I was pregnant! I lost the baby yesterday.."
I think I will tell people right away next time I am pregnant, so I don't feel so alone in case of another loss.

:) On a TTC note - I thought I O'd, but my chart is really confusing. My temp dropped back down. Here's my chart. (http://www.fertilityfriend.com/home/246EC) Any thoughts, ladies? TIA!

[proudmamanow]

Hi lucysmama,
I'm no chart expert, but I think you ovulated--mucus, monitor & temps are lining up to a certain extent, anyway! My guess is yes.
Temps can be affected by so many things that I don`t think they're the most reliable, I think mucus & monitor are more important.

I think I'm ovulating right now too, or will be in a couple of days, as my signs are finally lining up. :) While this is good, I can`t do an IUI this month 'cause my doctor's away. :( (unless I want to try and pigeonhole one of my unsuspecting male colleagues as my dp Beth suggested :)--no thanks!

At the moment, I'm feeling pretty okay about everything because I think that I just wasn`t meant to try this time, I'm supposed to take a break & rest my body & try & get as healthy, relaxed etc. as possible in preparation for the next attempt.

While I'm waiting, I'll send :banana happy thoughts & good luck to all.

[shannon0218]

ROTFLMAO, common Jesse, where there's a will there's a way!!!:D , it's no harder than oh say getting a tooth pulled:eek
Thanks to your dp, Beth, I so needed something to giggle about today. Course if you could just get a "donation", I've done IUI's on almost everything but humans--I could walk you through it--not hard at all!!
Hang in there!!!!!!

[mammabean]

Hi Katie,
I have been my charting cycles for almost 6 years, and even I get confused to what my body is trying to do sometimes. I would have to say after looking at your chart that it looks like your body tried to ovulate, since you had some ew, but since your temp didn't stay up there you may not have. You'll have to see what your temp and CF does for the next few days. Did you take your temp a litttle later that day or were you sick? That makes a difference too.
Hang in there!!! IT is so hard, I know! I am not too far behind you in my first real cycle (I hope) since my miscarriage. I had posted to you my story under a different subject yesterday.

So are you trying to conceive this cycle? The hardest part for me having to wait so long to O and TTC is that the lovemaking starts to feel a little less romantic and a little more like business! But if the end result is a healthy preg and baby then it is worth it!

I have been choking down my womens liberty tea for cycle hormone balance and hope to O on the 14th, 10 years since I started dating my hubby anniversary.

Sending some O dust your way:dust

How do you like the fertility software you are using? I used to chart on paper until I found ovusoft (based on Toni Weschler's book) and I am happy with it. What I like is that you can have it predict your cycles for you based on cycle history and they have a pregnancy planner chart. It also gives you the heads up if they notice a triphastic temp pattern. I have had 2 triphastic charts, one I was not pregnant, and the other I was. Unfortunately the baby didn't "stick". :crying

Well, I know I prob didn't help much, but I will keep trying :)

love,
Michelle mamma to Alexander :wave 6-25-2003 :angel 10-01-2003

[mama-aya]

Ugh!
I just feel like whining and crying and being a wimp. I am fighting off a cold all of the sudden, and there's no sign of O or AF or anything, still, and I'm tired of it all.
Our first pg we didn't tell many people right away- we found out a few weeks before our wedding and didn't want the focus of attention to be on a baby instead of our wedding. Then we lost it a month after the wedding, at 14 weeks, it was pretty quiet. Not many people knew we were pg, still. Most people in the family found out and so there was support, but we were living far away and really alone. Then we had ds. This last time we were so excited to be pg after ttc for 2 years, that we told our mothers immediately, and told everyone else as soon as we saw a hb on ultrasound (6 weeks). I decided it was better to tell people, and feel optimistic and get good optimistic energy, and not worry about how it would be to have to tell everyone, if we lost it. Which we did, of course. Here's the thing. I still don't know what is the best choice for me. I think, like Katie, that telling friends and family soon is nicer. I feel somehow that its good for that speck of baby to get happiness vibes, as much as possible. I hate asking for help, but I try to remember that accepting help is as much a community builder as giving help, and it was nice, this time, to have friends bringing dishes and offering to tacke care of ds.
On the other hand, having to explain to a three year old that the baby died was awful, and made me feel like the world's most irresponsible parent for telling him we were going to have a baby in the first place, letting him see the ultrasound hb and all of it. When he was asked a couple weeks later how old he was, by a virtual stranger, and hearing him explain that he was three, and that he would be four when the baby..."well, I'll still be four, but the baby died. Mama? Will I still be four when its my birthday?"
Yikes. So I'll probably not be telling ds very early, if we do get pg again.
Anyway, Jesse, I'm sorry you can't try this cycle.
I wish us all good timing and baby-stickiness all around!
And I really wish I would get my freaking period or SOMETHING!

[adventuregirl]

Really good points about the telling thing. I am sure I will tell my mom and my close friends who make up my core support system next time. Maybe not right away, but pretty soon after I find out, I have a hard time keeping it to myself. But last time we told practically everyone, and telling people who are friends, but not very close was the worst part. Its such a personal thing and having to share that with people who are more of acquaintences with, is something I'd just rather not have to do. Like a few people I hadn't seen came up to me and said "congratulations" to which my reply was "not anymore", just uncomfortable. I hadn't told anyone at work and that was nice, they just didn't know and life went on. But I can really see how everyone deals with their loss differently, you just have to think about what you need and support that.

I hope you are all hanging in there and everything falls into place for you and what you are waiting for shows itself very soon!

[mammabean]

mama-aya,
I know how you feel about feeling like an irresponsible parent. You shouldn't though. You just wanted to share the joy of a new baby with your son and that is ok. We didn't know if we wanted to tell our 3 year old I was pregnant, but then decided we wanted him to be the first to know. But then we just didn't know what to say to him when the baby died. We finally told him one day when he was trying to tickle the baby in my tummy and he got mad, and said "no". I don't know how much he understands. He doesn't talk about mamma's baby anymore but he talks about the baby in his tummy. :(

I don't know if we will tell anyone next time right away. I feel torn. There seems like so many good reasons for both.

This last pregnancy my husband didn't tell anyone at work I was pg, and then he had to leave work early one day to take me to the ER. Rumors got started and when my husband returned to work one of the cab drivers he knows came up to him and congratulated him on the birth of his second son. He almost fell apart. I guess people thought he had taken me to the hospital to HAVE a baby, and then someone just decided that we had had a boy, which of course it was way too early to even know the baby's gender.

When I get pg again, my DH wants to wait until we hear the heartbeat on doppler, about 10 weeks, before we tell anyone. I don't know though. It is hard for me to keep good news. Plus I am an early show-er. I guess we wont know until the time comes.

For those who are having to wait for their bodies to cycle normal again, I highly rec. a hormonal balancing herbal tea. I have had great success with it.

great love to all

[shannon0218]

Hi Michelle,
My god, I think it would tear me in two to have to tell a child about loosing the baby, my heart goes out to you and mama aya, your stories suddenly made me glad my only kids so far have 4 legs and fur.
What is Hormone Balancing tea??? I m/c on Oct 10, usually have 27 day cycles, so I'm expecting a period any day now. We want to try again next month, so I'm drinking red raspberry leaf tea, does anybody know, how many cups can you drink a day--I like the stuff. We're still not sure I'm not pregnant again already, showing some symptoms but still neg hpt's (yep, testing every morning--a little single minded these days!!)
I'm interested in anything that will help with getting pregnant right away (not that we had trouble with the first) but more importantly stay pregnant.
So go ahead everybody throw your home remedies at me, I'll get out of the way! :run

[mama-aya]

mamabean- I'm sorry you had to tell your ds the sad news, too. Mine asked questions right away, then didn't talk about it for a few days, and since then brings it up every once in awhile. I'm glad he's able to talk and ask questions, though he is bothered that there aren't any real answers as to why the baby died. That worries him.
shannon0218- Not that I am the world's foremost expert on making sticky babies or anything, but here's what I do-
red raspberry leaf tea (I make mine with red clover and nettles, too); no to coffee/caffeine soda, but yes to tea; B vitamin complex; prenatal vitamin; vitamin C; and no ibuprofen. Also, we're fish eating but otherwise vegetarian (pescatarian?), but if we weren't I'd be wary of lunchmeats, and smoked meats. There are lots of other things, about a billion different things to try, but mostly I've found contradictory advice, unavailability, expense all factors to consider.
And one more thing- I've been taking prenatal vitamins now for over 5 years, every day, and I still wonder- if they make me feel slightly nauseous most of the time when I'm not even pg, is it any wonder I throw them up every morning when I am pg? Honestly!

[shannon0218]

Thanks, now, I bought the raspberry leaf tea in bags, is the other stuff something that can be taken in a capsule? I've been off coffee since finding out I was pregnant the first time. I've actually been on folic acid for 7 yrs now because of rhuematoid arthritis, so I only take a prenatal every other day, this way it seems not to upset my stomach. My biggest concern is that I also take prednisone for my arthritis (before ttc I was on methotrexate) They say it's safe, and my understanding from the rhuematoligist is that a severe flare during pregnancy is more dangerous than the prednisone, but man I'm just so against taking anything right now. I just wish I'd get a period or a:+ , so I can figure out where I am and where we need to go, kwim??
Oh well, the stress continues!!

[mammabean]

Thank you ladies for your nice words. Even though it was hard to have to tell my son, I do feel like I wouldn't have been able to get through it as well as I did without him. It was so nice to be able to hug him and hold him whenever I was feeling sad.

The tea I drink is called Women's Liberty and it is made by Traditional Medicinals. It contains:
Licorice root
Orange peel
Wild Yam root and rhizome
Ginger rhizome
Cinnamon bark
Dong-quai root
Clove stem
Fo-ti root fuber
Angelica root

You can buy it at the grocery store, natural foods, and or supplement store. I am sure there are several brands of this kind of tea, even some of the organic variety I'm guessing. I am going to search for another kind that might taste better.

When I was trying to get pregnant with my son (it took 18 months) I tried this tea called maybe baby, it iwas so gross, but I choked it down as often as I could. If you do an online search you would probably find a variety of hormone balancing teas and capsules.
A big concern of mine is my hornone balance as I never had morning sickness at all during both pregnancies. But on the other hand, I was still able to carry to term my son with no problems except a tiny bit of brown spotting around 4 weeks).

I know I will be terrified to go to the bathroom my next pg! I have never been pg and NOT seen some sort of blood on my panties early on. It can be a bit disheartening.

Oh, I think it was Shannon who posted she might be PG, I am wishing you a :+ tomorrow morning! Let us know, we will be there for you!

love,

[mammabean]

mama-aya! I just noticed you are in WA state too! We are almost neighboors :)

[shannon0218]

Alright ladies, I need some help here. I'm so confused right now, it's not even funny. I m/c on the 10th of October, still have not had a period (my cycles are regular at 27-28 days) going from the miscarriage date, that would make me currently 2 days late. I have taken a few hpt's (even one FRER today) and all have come back neg. I feel pregnant, I'm tired, irritable, until lets say yesterday I felt constantly hungry, now I'm nauseous, and just now while making dinner, opened up the oven, took one whif, and well:Puke . I've had a headache for 3 days and starting yesterday my back hurts. The only thing I'm missing is the tender breasts:scratch .
What do you guys think?? Should I just keep testing?? If the hcg isn't high enough yet to trigger a test, what are the chances that this pregnancy (if it is one) is even viable??
Like emotions weren't running high enough........

Opinions?? Suggestions??? Anything???

[Lucysmama]

Shannon -
A lot of women take a while to get their periods after a m/c. I would not judge yourself to be 2 days late - this is not just any old cycle. Are you charting? Do you have an ovulation date that's pretty "for sure"? That is the only way I think you could judge the length of this cycle as being normal or abnormal.
But even that could be wrong. For example, I was pretty sure that I O'd on CD19 this time...my OPKs were positive, I had wet cervical fluid, and a normal pre-O temperature dip. But then my temperatures remained low after that....so it seems my body geared up to ovulate, but wasn't successful. I just yesterday ovulated - I'm pretty sure, anyway. Have to wait for a few days to see if my temp rise is sustained. So I ended up ovulating a lot later than is normal for me.
See my chart here...we m/c around the same date. (http://www.fertilityfriend.com/home/246EC)

I have also heard anecdotally that it takes a while for symptoms to go away after m/c in some women.

If you really need to know, I would have your doctor run a beta. But, if you ovulated later than normal (which determines your cycle lenth) a beta test may be negative, too.

Hope this helps, and good luck to you! :rainbow

[wolfmom]

sorry to jump in like this girls but i have been lurking on this thread for a while and just wanted to say that i think this thread is just so great! i lost our second little one at the beginning of august and it's so nice to have a supportive place where everyone is positive and comforting. M/c is a horribly difficult thing and i didn't think i would get thru it in one piece but fortunately a few months later we are preggo again and just very anxious. anyway, i just wanted to say thanks to all you sweet ladies and give my condolances to you all for your losses. may all your wombs be full of life soon!
peace,

[mammabean]

Hi Jenny,
Oh, I am so happy for you!! I wish you a healthy pg and peaceful birth.

lots of happy pg dust to you :dust

love,
Michelle

[Lucysmama]

wolfmom- Congratulations on you pregnancy. Best wishes for a heappy and healthy sticky pregnancy! :belly

Shannon- You asked about herbal rememdies, and I forgot to respond to that! :) I recommend picking up a copy of The Wise Woman's Herbal for the Child Bearing Year. It has herbs for TTC, pregnancy, postpartum, and infant use. It's really a good resource! I got mine at a natural food store, but you could probably have it ordered by a bookshop, too.

[mama-aya]

mamabean- Howdy, neighbor! We used to be in seattle, now we're in crackima, I mean Yakima. Physically, anyway. As much as we try to make a contented life here we're always mentally on the green side of the state!
shannon- I mc on 9-18, and still no AF, and no signs of O, either, but I have taken 2 hpts anyway and they're negative of course. You really can't think of this as a regular period. That's a hard thing, for me, anyway, waiting and waiting wondering and worrying! Best of luck to you and +++hpts! Also, I like the book "Getting Pregnant Naturally", it covers a lot of ground in a fairly basic way, and gives me jumping off points for further research.
mamawolf- Congratulations! During my pg with ds I was anxious much of the time, I was so happy, but also sad that I never really felt that overwhelming bliss and excitement that I had felt the first time (when I mc at 14 wks). Most people, I think, feel a big sense of relief when they pass the date that they mc previously, but for a lot of women there's always a worry and anxiousness. Here's hoping that everything goes well for you and that you don't have too much worry!

[shannon0218]

Well everyone, I got it this morning, the faintest of faint lines, but there none the less!!! So I will be calling to cancel my surgery tomorrow morning and I guess get used to limping for the next nine months.
Haven't told dh yet, he's still in bed and has worked so much overtime I want him to sleep--not that I can!

[mammabean]

OMG! Shannon!!! YAY! YAY! YAY! :clap

I am sooooo happy for you!!!!

I am sincerely wishing you a sticky baby :sticky this time around
as well as a healthy, peaceful pregnancy!

with love,

[greenbeing]

Congrats Shannon!!!:balloons

[Lucysmama]

Shannon!!!!!! YAYYYYYY!!!!! :+

:belly :banana :belly :banana :belly :banana :belly :banana
:bouncy :bouncy :bouncy :bouncy :bouncy :bouncy :bouncy
:clap :clap :clap :clap :clap :clap :clap

[greenbeing]

Shannon, I sent you a pm :)

[wolfmom]

Congratulations shannon! that is so wonderful! i will be thinking of you for a healthy 9 months!

[adventuregirl]

Congrats Shannon and wolfmom!!! Wishing you both very sticky, healthy and happy pregnancies!

[mama-aya]

Yay!
Here's to a happy, healthy, as stress-less as possible pregnancy, and a beautiful baby in nine months!
Yay!

[proudmamanow]

:hug :belly :belly :belly :belly :sticky :sticky :sticky :sticky :balloons :banana


YAY! WAY TO GO SHANNON!!!! I`M SO HAPPY FOR YOU! HERE'S TO AN EXTREMELY STICKY BABY!


I've been away this weekend (at the same time as ovulation) so I didn't yet reply to the supplement discussion.

I hope I will soon be joining all you pg ladies, but it won't be for a while....didn't get a chance to try this month, but meanwhile will be taking my Vitex, red clover & red rasp, my favoured combo--sometimes in tea form, or if I'm too busy or too grossed out by tea, then in pill form...

Good luck everyone!
:hug

[Lucysmama]

I'm in the 2ww....not so patiently waiting. I have a feeling this isn't our month, though. I think maybe next month. I don't know why - it took us 6 months to get pregnant with this last baby. I just feel a healthy pregnancy coming my way soon.
My chart, if you wanna obsess with me... (http://www.fertilityfriend.com/home/246EC) I think FF under-read my O date though...I think it was on CD26, not CD29. What do you think, anyone?

How is everyone doing emotionally/physically? :grouphug

[greenbeing]

Woohoo! AF arrived today!!! I'm so excited to be starting a new cycle and TTC again. The little one I m/c is definitely with me still and now it's just a matter of waiting to be pregnant again with her (or him).

Lucysmama, I'm still hoping for you!

[adventuregirl]

Katie, I'm not a charter, so wouldn't be of much help, but I'm a big believer in intuition and it sounds like you have a hit even though I'm sure you'd be happy to be wrong. I kind of feel the same way, like this might not be my month, but I had serious doubts last time too, I was sure af was going to show and lo and behold, I was pg! The funny thing about intuition is when you have a lot of emotional influence (like really wanting a baby) it can play tricks on you. So, I'm keeping my fingers crossed for both of us, may we have huge pg appetites on Thanksgiving!

greenbeing, I feel the same way about the baby spirit that I lost, I know he/she will be back, its just a matter of time. Congrats on af, I know just how welcome she is when you are amped to ttc again.

mama-aya, any sign of af yet? I am pulling for you!

[mama-aya]

No AF yet. Tell me the part about intuition and strong feelings playing tricks with each other again!
I'm just going nuts here. DS, DH, and I have been sick with the flu going around, and yetsterday DS's friend came over to play for the first time in a week, and I noticed a rash on his groin, now DS has the slapped face look of fifth disease, which is also making the rounds of our town, and our homeschool preschool friend has it too. So I, of course, am imagining the worst. Like maybe I O'd nine days ago after all, and maybe the reason I'm nauseous all of the sudden yesterday and today is not lack of sleep, sickness, and worry, but pregnancy, and aren't my cheeks looking just a little too rosy? I'm trying to convince myself that I am 1) not pregnant, 2)not fifth diseased, 3)not going to have another mc because, after all, I am not pg OR fifthed! So, yeah, I'm hanging in there. And, no, no AF yet.
Ugh.

[proudmamanow]

mama-aya---:hug :hug that sucks! I'm so sorry to hear that your family is sick & that you are worried--I hope that all is well for you.....and you get some reassurance soon!

adventuregirl==I hear you about TTC desperately & intuition, (though my own mom was sure I'd get pg when I did this last time,so maybe grandmama`s intuition?) I seem to be always misreading signs. :rolleyes:

I'm adjusting to not having been able to try this time & trying to take care of myself & not got too overwhelmed. So hard to tell if it`s hormones or stress or grief that`s making me so crabby--but one of my unsuspecting colleagues got the brunt of whatever it is this morning! :blush

greenbeing--congrats on AF arriving; I know I can`t wait for mine this time either! :)

Katie--I think you O'd right around CD26, or maybe a few days later? I usually O 1 or 2 days after my temp. drop but everyone is different (something fertility specialists ignore!)


:dust :dust :dust

to all!

[mama-aya]

Hi! I'm feeling better- we can all breathe again without sounding like asthmatic seals. So I'll use lack of oxygen as my excuse for freaking out! Oh well.
I'm resigning myself to a life without AF. Just kidding. But has this been about the longest forever (ever) for anyone else, too?
DS has been saying things like "Next time there's a baby in your uterus I hope it will grow healthy so we can have a cute baby to take care of." and "I'm getting old enough to help you take care of a baby." and "Next time you get a baby in you, don't eat any plums, okay. You promise?" (He stuffed himself with plums at his friend's house the day I had this last D&C, and coincidentally, had an inguinal hernia and needed emergency surgery that night. As far as he is concerned, no matter what I say, plums are the culprit! So, no plums.)

[Lucysmama]

mama-aya: What a sweet boy you have! He sounds so gentle and caring. Glad he's ok, too - what a scary thing!!

So..... 11DPO and just a' :W My breasts got really sore yesterday. They still hurt. Could be AF coming, though.

And my chart! (http://www.fertilityfriend.com/home/246EC) Could it be going triphasic?! I guess there's nuthin' to do but wait. :rolleyes:
I went to a meeting fascilitated by my midwife tonight. It's all about birth choices. There were soooo many babies there, and some pregnant bellies...and the talk was all birth birth birth. Made me wistful...I would be 10 weeks now. :( I was planning to tell my mom on her birthday, which was yesterday. I gave her a coat instead.

Hope you are all well.... :dust to you all!

[adventuregirl]

IKWYM Katie, when I check my calendar to see where I am in my cycle, I notice that I would be 21 weeks tomorrow, I would have a belly for sure, we'd still be talking names (cuz we surely wouldn't have decided yet), things would be different. Its a little sad, but I can't be attached to it, I can't do anything about it now. But TTC is another thing, I'm focusing on that and a late summer or Fall baby. I never wanted to be pg in the summer, but now I don't care, I'll just be spending a LOT of time in water. I hope.

[mama-aya]

How are you doing Katie? Is the breast soreness AF or something special? Fingers crossed for you.
I have had this very achey kind of feeling for two days, like the first weeks of being pg, nauseous for four, and my breasts are sore. Or maybe they're only sore from me jabbing them every few minutes? So I secretly think I must be pg, but the ept this morning was negative (as well as all of the rest for the last six weeks), and that's the last of the costco bunch, I was trying to save it until I was sure it'd be positive. Brother. So now I think I feel gross because AF is on the way, even though I don't usually feel too bad, physically, anyway. Which I guess would be okay, AF coming, that is, because I hate all the waiting and wondering. I really, really, hate it. And I'm starting to feel a little bit desperate around the edges for something to happen already.

[proudmamanow]

Since we didn't try this month, I know my breast soreness is pms, but boy do IKWYM mama-aya....there's nothing like that roller coaster & I really hope this is the last ride for you for a while!

btw, for all of those who like to take pregnancy tests a LOT (like me) I ordered 20 in the mail last time from www.bareware.com for $1.50 each or something really cheap. This was a godsend for us, as we could test as much as we wanted without worrying so much about the cost.

Does anyone else find their having a hard time getting back into good fertility habits? I had been off coffee, on vitamins, on fertility tea, exercising doing yoga for 8 months before TTC. Since the m/c I've been having a hard time getting motivated to take my vitamins regularly. It's like some part of me is afraid to committ as hard to getting my body ready since I tried so hard before and my body let me down
:( :(

Anyway, here I am eagerly awaiting :af so I can start the whole roller coaster again---and sending lots of

:dust :dust to all...

[mama-aya]

Oh yeah, Jesse, I know exactly what you mean. Since this miscarriage I've been sneaking sips of dh's coffee and when we passed a bag of tabacco around church(we're unitarians!) as part of a Native American Thanksgiving celebration, I thought, for a second (or more, maybe) that I'd love some rolling paper to really celebrate with. And I haven't smoked in many years, or wanted to, even. And I finally bought a new kind of prenatal vitamins, in capsules, so they're not so nauseating, but I didn't read til I got home that a dose is 4! capsules. And that really seems like a big chore, to take four vitamins (plus b-complex, sometimes e, and that big old chewable tart c) for no apparent reason.
And here's the rub, each of DH's siblings have five children, and they mostly all smoke and never even heard of quitting coffee for any reason (of course what they drink only remotely resembles what I think of as coffee) and think of nothing of a drink here and there, to say nothing of their diet- almost entirely processed and artificial foods. And those kids are all born at term, healthy fat babies, and no miscarriages amongst the lot of them. It kills me that I'm the one with fertility difficulties. I'm like living proof to them that healthy living is worthless. Worse than worthless, possibly harmful. Maybe its too many vegetables, certainly not enough Meat, that's giving me all of these problems!

[adventuregirl]

Oh, I know exactly what you girls are talking about. I was an absolute angel when ttc before my m/c and this month I've had caffiene (black tea), I'm not so good on my vits, and even had a little beer (yikes!). I have a pretty strong feeling that I'm not pg, but will feel awful if I find out that I am. This cycle has been strange. I am now planning for next month, I'm going to brew up my pregnancy teas and leave myself reminders for my vits and go back to my angelic avoidance of caffeine and alcohol. Its almost as if this cycle had something to teach me about my attitude or that I really needed to get this out before the real game begins.

mama-aya, I can imagine your frustration, I am sure my mainstream family thinks the same of me, being all healthy and m/c.

I ran into an old friend over the weekend who I found out is now 3 months pg. I couldn't tell anyone IRL, but I was really jealous. Really, I am very happy for her, but I just thought, I should be 5 months pg right now. :crying It just made me sad. I also found out that some friends are adopting and will have their baby really soon. Again, very happy for them, but feeling empty handed in terms of my baby coming to me. In my heart, I know he/she is coming and I have no control over that timing, but its hard to accept sometimes.

Anyway, its good to know that you all understand these feelings and I have a place to vent. :hug to you all!

[Lucysmama]

I'm out - AF came yesterday. It's all good, though ~ I'm gettin' pregnant this cycle!!!!!!! I want a nice Christmas surprise to give to dh. Plus, this psycic told me I would be carrying my second daughter in January. :D

[proudmamanow]

Katie-I'm so sorry you're not pg this time.

I can relate a bit to where you're at, AF came yesterday for me too. I definitely want to be pregnant by Christmas too--We CAN do it!

mama-aya & Katie--I hear you on the mainstream family--my cousins' pregnancies have mostly been unplanned (!) including one who called us to say, guess what, if you take antibiotics then they counteract birth control-did you know that? that's how we found out she was pg! And another who smoked through her first pg and will have nothing to do with bfing. At least they are sympathetic to my struggles, though.

After posting last week, and then getting my period, I have been feeling much better, renewed & recommitted to my fertility herbs, my no caffeine, no alcohol & lots of vitamins regime. The healthy food & exercise is a bit more of a struggle, but I'm trying to be gentle with myself...and not each too much caffeine containing chocolate :) Here`s to a healthy, happy, fertile cycle for us all!



(singing: all I want for Christmas is a :+ )

[mama-aya]

jesse, I'm glad you're feeling renewed! I hope this cycle everything works out for you, and Katie, as planned!adventuregirl, hang in there. It really does get easier to bear other's good cheer!
I feel selfish sometimes, wanting so much to have another child- I already have one perfectly wonderful little muffin running around the earth with me. But when I think of DH's family, it just drives me nuts. Not one of them planned on all those kids, or were happy to be pregnant or give birth, none of them bf, and damned if every family snapshot isn't someone holding a cigarette in one hand and a baby in the other! Please! I have no patience right now for people who don't take good care of their children. Dh is a public defender, and spends a certain amount of time defending parents who are in the process of losing their children. Somehow its all connected in a very unfortunate and unhealthy way for me. Like I'm sad, not just that so many people are so awful to their children, or even not hideously, criminally awful, but awfully mediocre, but as if somehow those people got all the children or something. As if my fertility troubles are somehow connected to those in-laws, or those desperate people DH tries to help everyday. Am I nuts or what?
I think maybe I'm so wrapped up in baby-making and this sweet little cocoon of our tiny fmaily that I can't even understand anything in the world anymore except through this place. Its understandable for a three year old to think he's at the center of the universe, but for a 30 yo woman to think that her uterus is the center of the universe is just pathetic!
Ah, well. We had a great Thanksgiving, and onward to Christmas! Hopefully you all will have ++++!
(And, seriously, Santa, I'd be psyched if I could get a + myself, or at least AF, for crying out loud!)

[mama-aya]

AF is here. I feel as expected- bummed not to be pg, but happier than I thought I would, really, to at least have AF. Sep 18 seems like a long time ago, and its good to have some normalcy, and a break of a few weeks from wondering whether I'm pg or not. I think I'm happier about having a little break than anything else, actually. That and three Christmas parties in the next two weeks when I know I won't be pg, and maybe, for the first time in 5 years I'll go to a Christmas party and be able to have a cocktail! I'm determined to enjoy the next couple of weeks- for once not pg, not nursing, not in the 2ww.
Hope everyone else is doing well.

[adventuregirl]

yalisha - I know how you feel, I was a bit giddy when af showed up. You now know that you have an idea of where your cycle is, feels so much better. Enjoy those holiday parties!

Well, I'm working my way through a new cycle, I think my last cycle could have been anovulatory, it was very odd, but I don't keep close enough track to know more than my intuition tells me.

Hoping that this month will do it, I will know for sure by New Years.

Hope everyone else is doing great!

[mammabean]

hello ladies :wave
I have been thinking of everyone, although I haven't visited the board in a few weeks.

Anyone know how shannon is? She posted awhile back she was pg, just hoping all is well.

Well, I am in my 2ww! Well I am 7 days post O, and I didn't O unitl cycle day 37! I was stressed this month!

If I am pg my due date will be a year from the week that I conceived the baby I lost in Oct. I think it would be healing.

nak (a 31/2 year old)! he is heavy so I must keep this short.

much love to you all.

wishing the ladies in their new cycles lot of fertility!!!!!!!!

Hugs

[greenbeing]

Hi mammabean! Sending you positive vibes!!! I hope this is your month!!!

I am pretty sure I'm 10dpo. I'm going to hold out until next weekend, and test if AF hasn't showed.

[mammabean]

Thanks Green,
Wow, you are more patient than I. I used to wait until day 14 or after, but this time I am going to try as early as day 11! There are a few brands otc that test early (25 mIU/ml hCG) There is a brand or two that test as early as days 6-8 past O (15 mIU/ml hCG)! BUt I did not order them online early enough. I just have NO patience right now!

Many preggo wishes to you....

[gossamer]

is it ok if I jump in here and join the chat? JI lost my daughter July 29th at 24 1/2 weeks by emergency C-Section. It's been 4 months now. At first the doctor said we had to wait at least 4 months, then she said 6 months would be better. Our last conversation she said she wanted us to wait 12 months before TTC. I don't know if I can wait until July to TTC. To complicate things, I had to have the C-Section to save my life, so nobody in my life is encouraging me to get pg right now, not DH, MIL or friends. I had 2 periods 3 weeks apart in October, 2 days of bleeding in NOvember and nothing since. I thought I might be PG, but 3 tests later, no +. I will be sending sticky vibes and baby dust to everyone on this thread. I don't even know what to ask for, do I want to be pregnant? DO I want the patience to wait until July? Or do I just want to feel peace about where I am right now?
Gossamer

[Jacque Savageau]

Originally posted by gossamer
I don't even know what to ask for, do I want to be pregnant? DO I want the patience to wait until July? Or do I just want to feel peace about where I am right now?
Gossamer I think a little of all sweetie. Waiting to get pregnant after a loss has so many emotions attached to it. Sometimes these emotions can change daily. I'm glad you're all using this forum to discuss these emotions :hug

[adventuregirl]

gossamer, :hug it has to hurt even more to keep being put off/set back for ttc again. Especially when you do not feel supported in what you ache for, but you have this place where support seems to be the most generous.

You have my most heartfelt wishes to be at peace with where you are right now, to have patience and know that your next baby will come to you at the best time for your family. I truly believe that regardless of when we start trying, we will not get what we want until the time is right. It can be wretchedly hard to deal with sometimes, but I think eventually when we look back we will see the gifts we received during that time.

And while we're here, we have each other to laugh, cry, scream, vent, whatever we need to do with.

Best wishes to you.

[mammabean]

Gossamer, I just wanted to say thank you for sharing photos of your precious angel.

I send many healing vibes your way. :dust


Also, I did not get pregnant last cycle boo hoo :crying

I am on cd 18, with O HOPEFULLY just around the corner!

Hope to hear how everyone is.

Much love,

(edited to add info)

[adventuregirl]

Hi Everyone, hope your holidays were fun and happy. I received a wonderful day after Christmas present, I am pregnant! I am so happy, but also really nervous. I wanted to spread some baby dust around for those of you who are trying and wish you all the best in this new year.

[mammabean]

Yay Adventuregirl!!!!!!! :clap

What a wonderful day after Chirstmas present!!!!

I am so very happy for you and will be keeping you in my thoughts. :hearts


much love

[adventuregirl]

Thanks Michelle!

[Lucysmama]

Hi everyone -

Another congrats to Adventuregirl!!!! :belly :+ :clap

I am taking a break from TTC, I think. I just had another m/c on Christmas Eve.

I am going to an RE next week to get my hormone levels checked. But I can't bring myself to keep charting and using OPKs and real eggwhites and command-performance BDing. We have been trying for going on 10 months now, and it's really getting me down....

Much love and luck to all you ladies TTC after a loss. :love

[mammabean]

Oh Katie, I am so very sorry to hear of your loss. I am sincerely saddened by your news. I can understand why you would want to take a break and get things checked. I wish you healing. I wish you patience. I hope all your dreams come true this new year. For you and for all the mamas and meant to be mamas in this world.

:hearts

[adventuregirl]

And another :hug for you, Katie. Again, I am so sorry for your loss. Lots of :love to you in your journey and a bright future with a nice little babe in it.

[mammabean]

HI ladies :)

How are you all doing?

I am going crazy out of my mind wondering if I am pregnant! :nut

I am 10 DPO, well technically 11 since it is after 1am.

I want to test terribly! But I just don't know if I can look at another test with only 1 line.

On the other hand, I am so afraid to see my morning temp fall as it is so heartbreaking as well. I actually don't know what is worse.

The other thing is, if I got pregnant this cycle, according to my ovusoft fertility software my due date will be Sept. 30th. Which will be exactly one year from the day I had my ultrasound and found out my baby had died. The baby then came out the day after.

I feel as though it would be healing for things to come full circle. I got goosebumps up and down when I read what the due date would be. I hate to say this and jinx myself but I really do feel like this is it.

I had a great high temp 10 DPO, (lp is usually 12-13days) and I have had super higher than normal temps throughout the day, as well as a triphastic temp pattern. I guess it is safe to say my hope are up REAL high!

Wishing for a high temp tomorrow (this)morning!!!!! I just need to get to bed!

I hope you all are doing well.
Healing hugs and love for all :hearts

[proudmamanow]

Big :hug to Katie--I`m so so sorry about your loss, sending loving :hug :hug to you and healing energy.

[proudmamanow]

I've been needing to take a break from all things TTC related for a little while, which includes this thread, but I've missed it & I'm glad to be back.

We had a number of setbacks--good ones, like Christmas & buying a house, and then some bad ones: we thought we found a known donor, but then he said no :( and then our doctor convinced me that I do indeed have PCOS -which made me really sad :( :( (but which explains a lot about my weird FH:LSH ratio and my really long cycles and maybe my m/c, so now I'm trying one kind of medication (Metformin) which I'm not thrilled about, and trying to take soy each day as an alternative to Clomid. I'm on day 8 of my cycle pre-O, too early to tell if my healthy eating, herbs, supplements, soy & drugs are going to do anything other than making me a feel a bit weird!

mammabean--sounds promising! Sending lots of :dust your way!

and congrats to adventuregirl!! yay!! :thumb :thumb

[mammabean]

I think I posted this on another thread here, but it doesn't hurt to post here too, plus it feels really good to say

I'M PREGNANT!!!!!!!!:D

I am terrified but I have high hopes. Please pray for me if you can.

love and :dust to all

[Lucysmama]

Congrats, Michelle!!!!!!
Sending sticky baby vibes your way!!! :sticky :sticky :sticky

Jesse, so sorry to hear of your troubles. Have you thought about getting a second opinion?

Adventuregirl, we need an update! How is your pregnancy going?

Just an update on me...I decided to try this cycle after all. I just had my thermal shift, so we will see. I feel optimistic about next cycle, though...I don't have my hopes up this time. (Yet ;) )The good news is, it seems that my body bounces back pretty quickly after m/cs. I ovulated at 26 days and 28 days after the bleeding started.

I went to my OB's office and it just sucked. The OB didn't know a thing about charting, and said that without a blood test or a D and C she "has no way of knowing if I was even really pregnant or not. In fact, they were probably just late periods." :angry :angry :angry After I educated her about charting, progesterone supplements, and the like, she charged ME $60! :rolleyes: :angry :eek Needless to say, I am never going back to her. (The practice also botched my labor and delivery with my dd, causing me to have an unnecessary c/sec.)

I talked to my DE Midwife though, and she was very optimistic and validating. She offered to pick me up some progesterone cream and was so sympathetic. She's going to be attending my home VBAC when we get pregnant.

Sorry for writing a novel....

[adventuregirl]

Yay Michelle! I am so happy for you!!

Jesse, I had wondered about you, sorry you are going through some setbacks, but congrats on the house!

Katie, I am glad you are feeling optomistic this cycle, I am so pulling for you! Good thing you won't be going back to that OB, such an illusion the medical community puts forth with that profession, sure they can sugically remove a baby really well, but shouldn't they know a little more about pregnancy? (and natural birth, but I won't get started on that)

My pregnancy is progressing, I'll be 8 weeks on Saturday. Its hard psychologically, I go back and forth between excitement and fear. I had one freak out which ended in my starting an herbal formula, progesterone cream and some additional vitamins after a long discussion with my midwife. I just felt like I needed to do something, and it has eased my mind. But I am nauseous, sleepy and generally not myself, so I take those all as good signs. Thanks for asking, Katie.

I wish you all the very best in your new pregnancies and upcoming ones! It is really great to have this community, I would be a much bigger mess without it.

[mammabean]

Thank you everyone!

Adventuregril, what kids of herbs are you taking? I was thinking about taking some False unicorn root, but was worried about the warning to not use when pregnant or lactating. Which I understand now that it is best not to use when the pregnancy is normal, but then how do you know it is "normal" you know?

I am also nursing my 3yo about 2x a day and didn't know if it would affect him.

Does FUR help take away the crampiness? I hate having the cramps, I get so scared.

I am going to get some NPC too, just in case.

Lucysmama, that is terrible about your OB. When I went into have my ultrasound and found out the baby died, I was explaining about charting and how I usually ovulate around day 28 or so and how I charted this cycle so I knew when I got pregnant and everything and he just kid of blew it off like I didn't know what I was talking about and said, well, women ovualte mid cycle on day 14. I told him I had been charting for 7 years and that I had NEVER ovulated earlier than day 17, and that was only once!!!! UGH! They still had me listed as 10 weeks on the ultrasound and I was only 8.


anyways, I hope you find a great Dr.!
I am lucky I have 3 great ND's/LM's to get great care from.

love and dust :dust

[adventuregirl]

Michelle, I am taking an herbal fromula called Welcome Womb by Wish Garden Herbs, it contains Wild Yam, Black Haw and False Unicorn. My midwife suggested it. It has not taken away the very mild cramping I have (if you can call it that, its more like a strange uterine feeling), but that is comforting to me, I feel like there is growing happening when I feel it. I have no idea how it would affect nursing.

I was nervous when I got the NPC and it said not to use if pregnant, but my midwife assured me that it was all ok and couldn't hurt my pregnancy. I think that some of these warnings may only apply to different stages of pregnancy and first tri is a time when you would receive benefit.

[proudmamanow]

Very pleased that after 5 weeks on metformin & 5 days of soy (a cool alternative to Clomid that I heard about) I am ovulating now on day 13 of my cycle--much more normal than any other cycle since the m/c.
We go in for an U/S and hopefully an IUI tomorrow! I'm very pleased, even if we don't get pg this time, this means I should be able to refuse Clomid with confidence! But hopefully we WILL get pg this time & won't have to worry about any of this.

Lucysmama--that sucks about your OB--some doctors just can't understand that WE are the experts when it comes to OUR OWN bodies, eh? A big pet peeve of mine... Glad you've got your midwife...


mammabean & adventure girl---lots of :sticky wishes for you!

[Lucysmama]

Well....during my month of "taking some time off" I got pregnant!

Seriously, we weren't even really trying last month! We only BD once or twice...and here I am, :+ !

I am soooo excited, but very very nervous. I am only 5 weeks right now. If I can make it to 7 weeks, I feel like I could relax.

Already, this pregnancy is feeling "good" to me, and my HPT lines are getting darker. I am trying to take it reallllly easy. (With my sweet dh's help.)

Thanks for all your support, ladies...and please send me some sticky vibes!

[adventuregirl]

Katie!!!!!! Congratulations! I just ran across your posts as I lurked in the October Mama's thread. Sending you tremendous sticky, calm and happy baby vibes!

[Jacque Savageau]

Katie, wonderful news, I'll be thinking about you.

[jecaly]

hi mamas,

i'm new to this thread--we're starting to try again after our miscarriage in november. had our first cyclically significant (er, yes, sure, that's a word) unprotected sex this morning, and i'm just now starting to wrap my head around the shift.

between the miscarriage and now, i pretty much went completely out of the breeding state of mind. even stopped taking prenatal vitamins for awhile, drank coffee, wine, beer, smoked a few cigarettes. pregnant? trying to get pregnant? nope, not me. i'm back on prenatals and have stopped ingesting all the other above stuff, and we did have actual sex this morning in the presence of ewcm, so we're definitely trying (though not charting). i'm trying to keep myself cracked open for this process, but in reality feel sort of skittish.

i've had three normal periods since the mc, and i know that the mc was a sign of my body's wisdom rather than its incompetence, but, you know: it's still tough.

i guess i'm just saying: it's nice to read about all your processes in this thread. thanks, and congratulations to all the preggers!

*jennifer

[Jacque Savageau]

jennifer, it sounds like you needed some 'time off'. I'm glad you listened to your body and did just that.

I'll be thinking about you.

[adventuregirl]

Hi Jennifer,

I'm glad you have found this thread and are benefitting from reading everyone's stories. I too had a little bit of a wild time after my m/c, drinking my share of alcohol, caffiene, quitting prenatals for a little bit. It was almost like a cleansing process (albeit not very clean) that made a clear distinction that I was no longer pregnant. When I climbed back on the wagon, I got pg the next cycle.

Best wishes to you and that egg and sperm meeting inside you now or in the next days!

[mammabean]

Hi Jennifer,
I went through exactly what you described above. This last cycle of mine (before ovulation of course) I was drinkng coffee and not taking vits and was loving my nights out with my girlfriend drinking red wine and smoking cigs. I think I was really angry at my body and I didn't really know it until I was acitng like I didn't care about it. I think it was something I needed to go through. As it happened though, I straighted uo a week before the big O and I got pregnant during what seemed like a doomed cycle.

I am 8 weeks today, and so scared and so happy. FYI, I did have some spotting last week which totally freaked me out and I went to my MW to get a blood draw, my levels were 158,029 at 7 weeks and yesterday at 1 day bf 8 weeks they were at 232,000. So I am very happy about that. I am still worried about my other homones, estrogen and progsterone, and might get tested for those too. But I don't know if I could do anything to help those hormones this late in the game if they came up low. I am ultra paranoid!!

Jennifer I send you many baby dusties :dust and i wish you the patience that I can't seem to find! lol

much love,

[jecaly]

thanks, you guys!

adventuregirl, i like your metaphor of a "cleanse"--i think you're right, it did serve that purpose. and now, as i work to get my head around the idea again, it feels like a good thing that i'm not ultrafocused on two weeks from now when i can test, on how my boobs feel, on any little twinge that could mean i'm pregnant (as i was before the mc when we were trying). also just returned from a weekend of yoga and have been eating well and taking vitamins, so feel ready but not anxious about it.

i think a bit of me is still pretty reserved on the subject; i don't really expect that to change until a couple of months into the next pregnancy, or until i get some sign of "this is real." i'll be thinking about you, michelle--i sure know about how scary even a little bit of blood is, but those levels sound great!

hugs to you all,
jennifer

[gossamer]

Hi guys,
I came back to share the fact that my DH and I have made the decision (for health and financial reasons) not to TTC until spring 2005. In my head I know it's a good decision, but my heart is just wailing inside. That means probably another 20 months or so without a baby, another 12 - 15 without even growing one. These past 6 months have been pure hell, I don't know how I am going to stand it. But I know it's the right decision for us. How can this be so hard?
Gossamer

[mammabean]

Gossomer,
I wish you peace and patience during your time of waiting. I know it must feel like an eternity away. YOu are in my thoughts.

An update on me, I started spotting pink and light red this morning. It has now turned into brown, but I am having some cramping and I am so very scared. I feel hopeless. I feel like I am never going to get through another pregnancy successfuly.

I am trying to stay positive, but I am not doing a very good job. My MW had me lay in bed all day and rest. She is going to call me in the morning. I think I might get an ultrasound on Thursday.

Today is a tough milestone day. Today I am 8 weeks 6 days pregnant, that is how far along I was last time when I miscarried the baby. So to see blood this morning made me feel so defeated.

My only ray of hope is that my Dh and I had sex last night (only the 2nd time in about 7 weeks) and I am hoping that is the reason for the spotting. We have been terrified to have sex and now we won't be having any more for at least 3 more weeks, doctor's orders and I am fine with it.

Good luck Jen, I hope this is your cycle!

I will keep in touch :heartbeat Hoping to see or hear one of these soon!

[adventuregirl]

gossamer, peace and healing to you in your time of waiting. Only you know enough to make this decision for yourself. Best wishes to you.

Michelle, my thoughts are with you. I can imagine how much you are freaking out inside. I hope you get reassurance soon, it sounds a lot like the sex could have broken some capillaries and everything will be fine. I wish the best outcome for you.

[Lucysmama]

Michelle-

Just wanted to say that I had an episode of bleeding at around 8 weeks...it was due to sex. The doctor asked if we had been having very gentle sex, and I said, "Well.....not exactly." :LOL She then went on to explain to me that sex during the first trimester should always be done gently, as the cervix is easily irritated early in pregnancy, and cappillaries can burst, causing bleeding and panic.

My bleeding stopped after a day of so. I hope yours does, too. :hug

[mammabean]

Thanks for your reassuring words!

My bleeding has stopped, just a little bit of light brown sometimes.
The sex was pretty gentle, since we were so scared, but I must have an ultra sensitve cervix.

The only down side is that I still have some cramps and lower back pain, which concerns my MW, so I am having an ultrsound tomorrow morning to know once and for all! I just can't stand not knowing. I guess I feel like this baby is gone becuase that is what happened last time. I want to stay positive. I am trying, but it is so hard.

I will let you know what happens. If you don't hear from me tomorrow, than it's probably bad news.

:peace

[mammabean]

Despite the fact that I was in so much pain from having to pee and the fact that the ultrasound took so long and the tech was a little bitchy and didn't let me see the monitor or tell me the baby was OK until the END of the exam, I finally got to see my beautiful baby's heart beating and him/her moving it's little arms!!! IT was so amazing!!!! I got to take 2 pictures home.

I am so relieved and so happy!!!!!!

love to all

[adventuregirl]

Michelle, I am so happy for you! I was so glad to see you posted and even happier that it is great news! :D

[SamuraiEarthMama]

Originally posted by gossamer
But I know it's the right decision for us. How can this be so hard?


dear gossamer!

maybe you can ease up the pain by thinking that you are preparing for your upcoming pregnancy every day between now and then... by exercising, eating well, and generally preparing the VERY BEST body for your baby to ride in! that was what helped me get through the last year before we tried for this one...

(admittedly, i didn't do as good a job as i'd hoped to!) but it did help me feel like i was at least working towards the pregnancy, and actively participating in becoming a new mom again. reading books, writing, walking, and looking at what i ate and drank... all took on a new meaning when i thought "do i need this? will this help me get ready?"

if it's truly the right decision for you, you will find peace. and if you do not, then maybe you need to revisit the decision with your dh!

hugs,

katje

[jecaly]

hooray michelle!

i've been thinking about you and hoping all was well. so glad to hear it is.

gossamer, the wait is so tough--i feel for you. i've been thinking a lot lately about how the entire process of trying to breed is a patience exercise. even while trying, the two weeks and the two weeks and the three months...maybe it's so we'll all be really, really patient when we have little ones writing on the walls with crayons and singing the same song over and over in the car. having it be so long before trying increases that by orders of magnitude, g. you are a strong brave mama, to do what's best for your family even though it's difficult.

around here, i'm having to get up to pee in the middle of the night fairly often, which was the first sign last time. feel like there might be a seedling; resisting the urge to count days.

peace to all of you,

jennifer

[SweetTeach]

maybe you can ease up the pain by thinking that you are preparing for your upcoming pregnancy every day between now and then... by exercising, eating well, and generally preparing the VERY BEST body for your baby to ride in!

This is really good advice. Unfortunately it's not so easy to get in that state of mind when you're supposed to already have your baby in your arms. I'm workin' on it though.
Gossamer, please know that you are not alone. This is also a really tough time for me. I can relate to how you're feeling.

[sunbaby]

hello all. i am just dropping in to say hi and introduce myself. i havent read the whole thread, just this last page.

wow, gossamer. i could really feel your post. waiting is so so tough. i wish i could make that time just fly by for you.

mamabean, hooray. i am so glad things are looking good for you. stick baby, stick.

i am waiting until april, as per midwife's instructions. i had to have a d and c on feb 2, because i waited 3 months to miscarry naturally and my body just wouldnt do it. i wonder if on some unconcious level i kept that baby inside because i just wouldnt let him go. i kept hoping it was all just some giant mix up and my baby was alive and well.
anyway, two weeks after my surgery i went in to the midwife for a checkup and she warned me that i was fertile on that day. i went home feeling all mixed up, glad my cycles bounced right back, but knowing i ought to wait and still really really upset knowing we could probably make a baby that night, and really wanting that, too.
i have been a mess since the d and c, and clearly have some issues i need to work out - so the waiting is good for me, but still, i have such an intense case of baby fever. i should *never, never* allow myself to lurk in the 'life with a babe' forum. :LOL silly me. sigh.
i am taking advantage of this time to lots of good, enriching stuff for me, so hopefully it all goes by as fast as it can, and i come out at the end of it being a better person for my dd and the babe in our future. i have also spent some of this time feeling really crappy, and i am kinda feeling the time crunch now because if i dont have this funk figured out by april, it might not be the best time to concieve.

[sweetc]

Hi Sunbaby.

Just wanting to say I understand where you're at! So hard to wait even if its the right thing. I hope you heal well, both physically and emotionally.

I'm where you're at - one day thinking I'll make the best of this time and be as healthy as I can, love on my little boy, etc. and then the next day I am down and angry and craving a baby inside me more than anything.

My closest friend IRL is pregnant now - she found out a couple weeks after my miscarriage. That is just so hard for me. I am happy for her, but wanting that so much for myself. Crazy-making.

Hope everyone is doing well today.

Christine

[Abylite]

Just wanted to say Hello again and get "reacquainted".

We took a long break...2nd m/c in May of last year. Time really did go by fast. We tried in Sept/oct but it was too stressful.

Now...I'm ready for the TTC ride again....our desire for a child is too strong to let fear stop us!!!

Good luck to everyone and I'll keep you posted!!! DPO 10 tomorrow....

[SweetTeach]

*twiddling thumbs*
waiting to TTC, know I'm/we're not ready to TTC, but why do I get so sad when Aunt Flo comes for a visit?
I try to be happy because I know my body's working properly and all, but it feels like a cruel reminder of what I don't have.

[sunbaby]

sweet teach, :hug. that makes sense to me.

[whitecrew4]

Sweet teach, I can feel where you are coming from.
I'm so mixed up inside right now. I want another baby, but I'm scared. Dh and I had said we would wait 6 months (From January) and then maybe TTC.
I have 2 wonderful children, but have had 3 miscarriages, the most recent in December at 20 weeks.
My moods are crazy especially when AF comes. SO many of my friends, IRL, are having their babies right now. How can I be happy for them and yet it hurt so much? I think I've over committed myself trying to keep myself busy and not thinking about it KWIM?
Nancy

[Bunches]

Can I join this board???? I started to miscarry on Sunday. I just didn't "feel" pregnant anymore after Friday and somehow I knew deep inside that I was going to lose this baby. My Hcg level was checked and it was only 437 (at 6 weeks). 18 hours later with cramping and bleeding, it was 294. I am still bleeding but not as much and the cramping has diminished significantly. I will see my midwife on Wednesday. Sunday, I spent the day crying. I was soooooooo excited to be pregnant for the first time. My dh and I were really looking forward to having this baby.
My sympathies to everyone else on this pregnancy loss board.

[whitecrew4]

:hug Bunches, I'm so sorry for your loss. You are in my prayers.
Love Nancy

[SweetTeach]

whitecrew and Bunches,
I'm sorry for your losses. You may want to come post over here Pregnancy and Birth Loss Forum (http://www.mothering.com/discussions/forumdisplay.php?s=&forumid=22) as well.

[Green4God]

I know this thread has been inactive for a little while, but I just found it and it seems to be the most relevant to my question. I miscarried naturally 6 weeks ago, though the bleeding stopped about 5 weeks ago. I've read that most people get AF 4-7 weeks after. Is this after the m/c or after all of the bleeding stops? Also, I was wondering how long it was for people here, particularly those that took awhile, so that I can be prepared for the worst. Please indicate if you had a D&C or natural m/c, since that may make a difference. TIA for your input.

Melissa

[farmlife]

I found this post this morning as I was looking for info about AF after m/c. Interesting to see that you just found it also. In my case, I m/c on 4/19 - no d&c but used med to dilate the cervix. Don't think that should make a difference on bleeding at this point. I stopped bleeding 4/28. My question is - I just got what I think is AF today. Could this be my reg. period starting up again?

[Green4God]

Farmlife3,

Sorry to hear about your loss. I read somewhere that you have to have at least 3 weeks between when you stop bleeding and AF to count it as AF. Since you are almost at 3 weeks, it's hard to say. I've also read a lot of people saying that their first AF is heavier and crampier than normal - does that sound like what you have? If not, it could be that maybe you had something left in there (even something very small) that your body is just now trying to expel. HTH.

[farmlife]

Melissa, I'm sorry to hear about your loss also. This board is so helpful at times, isn't it?
Trying to sort out what is still possible m/c and what is AF - just seems like it is a jump back to those intense feelings of loss. I thought it would be weeks before anything started again that is why your thread caught me eye. Just wanted to say thanks for the reply. Knowing that someone else is out there and responding is uplifting.