Anyone else's husband want to wait?

[joannamf]

We had a surprise pregnancy right around our wedding day. We go the positive test about 10 days after the wedding. Husband was not happy about it, but came around quickly. We lost the baby at 9 1/2 weeks. I've never wanted anything more than to have a baby, and want to try again, but he wants to wait. I have to respect his wishes but it is so hard knowing I should be pregnant and can't try again right away. He doesn't like when I talk about it (like right now we'd be finding out the sex) or get jealous of other pregnant people, he just doesn't get it.

Anyone else?

I felt so blessed to have conceived right around our wedding, and prayed for that baby every day, only to have it taken away. It's so hard to reason with myself... I can't help but think I wouldn't have gotten pregnant if I wasn't supposed to have a baby!

[Amydoula]

I just wanted to say I'm so so sorry for your loss. :hug Everyone processes loss so differently maybe he just needs a bit more time before ttc. My DH is very much into trying for a baby again but not every DH is that way.

[love14]

After my m/c 2 years ago he really wanted nothing to do with TTC again, and we held off for a few months. After we lost my son last month, I wanted to TTC right away but DH doesn't. We are compromising with TTC in November. I know it's really hard :hug

[BlissfullyLoving]

:Hug I am so sorry for your loss. It sounds like a difficult situation. I agree with what Amy said. If he does not even want to talk about the baby he could be mourning in his own way. I know that I go through phases like this. I do not even want to think about what would have been because it is just too upsetting. He might be really scared to lose another baby and to watch you go through the physical and emotional pain. I hope you can talk with your dh about all of this and come up with a plan to start trying when you are both ready. :Hug

[CityChic]

:hug I think this must be normal, maybe a guy's way of grieving and saying he isn't ready. My DH is in this boat right now, it is tough.

[JenMidwife]

I'm so sorry for all of your losses. At first my DH wanted to wait 6-12 mos (he guessed) & as much as I wanted to ttc right away (against my doc's advice :o) I knew that dh needed to mourn & that he would do that in a different way than I would, so I just let him be. A month or so later, he initiated a conversation w/ me & said that he was ready when I was ready.

So even though your heart is so very broken right now & all you want to do is fill your womb again, for me it really worked to give dh some space to figure things out on his own.

Many :Hug to all of you

[Mama-Ana]

I'm sorry for your loss. :hug I had a m/c and d&c in June and my dh grieved only once he knew I was physically okay. He processes life differently than I do (all in his head) and I know he's still working through it even though he doesn't talk about it much. We've talked about waiting a few months so that physically everything is back to normal but when it comes time to use some protection we don't. He is okay with not doing anything to prevent it from happening but doesn't really want to "try". Maybe with time your dh will get to that place... and then to trying. Though all men are different and I don't think my dh will ever say "yes, let's TRY" but is happy to have it happen on it's own (though I try to make sure we have sex around when I should be ovu. :wink).