POLL--How we conceive

[Kelly71]

Just curious as to how we all conceived or are TTC our children.

[ekblad9]

I picked married because I've been married for the last four conceptions. I was, however, a single parent for four years. I got pregnant while still in high school and the father left me. I am now married to a wonderful man that has adopted my son and we have three other children and one on the way. So I wasn't sure if I should pick married or got pregnant and then married.

Amy

[saige]

Pregnant at 19,married at 20.

[jasnjakesmama]

Pregnant at 18 and married at 25 to a different man. I found out when we got back from our honeymoon that I was expecting.

[PM]

jasnjakes - I think you meant you found out you were expecting #2 when you got back from your honeymoon, right?

Tried and tried for years and years to get pregnant with ex-dh - we were together for 11 years, married for 3. I'm so glad I didn't get pregnant! Decided to try with current, and it took only 10 days! #2 is taking months and months, though. :(

[saige]

Ah,sweetie,I didnt know that.I hope it happens for you soon!:love

[PM]

It might help if my sex drive picked up a little! I keep psyching myself out every month, then the month goes by, and well...we ended up having sex like 3 times!

[saige]

Mine's been on vacation for the past 3 years,I'm surprised Willow's here actually.

[jasnjakesmama]

Ummm yeah, I didn't mean to sound like I had been pregnant for 7 years...(although I do love being pregnant ;) )

[Parthenia]

We had planned to get married, the wedding dress was almost complete, the date, which had been set for over a year was a mere two months away. Aparently dd couldn't wait that long. We found out we were pregnant by chance. A friend of mine was in town, AF was late, food was tasting funny. I knew I was going to be partying over the weekend, so I took a pregnancy test because I thought something was awry. We had to alter the dress, but we kept the date, much to the dismay of my very conservative parents.
So technically we got pregnant and then got married, but our plan was to reverse the order.

[blessedmamma]

We were breaking up when I found out. Pretty sure we conceived on a "lets make this work" camping trip. Now we co-parent and are monogamous, but we don't live together. We argue less and have more fun when we are together. Gray, our one year old son, loves it when daddy comes over, and now Mommy does too.:love

[lisamarie]

Married at 25 yo, baby boy at 28. Now going to TTC again this summer at 34!

Warmly~

Lisa

[monkeymama]

I answered the poll in the 'Other' category since (like blessedmamma) i found out i was pregnant during a time when my son's father and i had just gotten back together after being apart off and on for over three years.....we were not at a point where things were looking good relationship-wise and therefore when i found out i promptly had to break it off with him. I knew that our relationship would not work - that it had too many problems (mainly an inability to communicate effectively - and also the rather sad fact that i just wasnt in love with him....)

so anyhow i now have a five month old beautiful wonderful son - his father and i are in the process of figuring things out legally through mediation and are embarking on the challenging adventure of trying to coparent ......it will be a rocky road but i hope that we can make it work for our son's sake. We both love him dearly and this fact alone i think will help us through this. I guess this may sound slightly niave - i realize it will take alot more than just love to make this coparenting situation work well - but i believe that this love will help carry us through the tough times. At least i have to hope it will.....

monkeymama

(p.s. Blessedmama - i have pm'd you.....)

[alianmama]

The poll is missing "got pregnant and LEFT the father" (married or not).

Legally married (the guy was in the military & we wanted to live together off-base) for practical reasons w/the understanding that it was meaningless (no vows or ceremony; a friend signed the space for "priest" on the hood of a car in the driveway) and would be dissolved if and when either of us wanted that. Then ended up pregnant, so tried to be "married" for the good of the baby... I got tired of him as he was immature & we were both too young to have a decent relationship so I left him.

[veggiewolf]

I was preggers, then married. Got married 2 months after DS was born, and knew the entire time I shouldn't be doing it. Oh well, live and learn.

We separated when DS was 18 months, divorce was final when DS was three. I re-married in December 2000 and my dh is wonderful! We will not be having any more children though.

April

[hahamommy]

Did everything the "right way" ... married at 27, babies at 28 and 30 ... dh dead at 32. So now I'm a single mom anyway ~ go figure! :love

[madison]

I'll be ttc with a willing-to-be known sperm donor in a couple of months again!

:hippie

[MamaLuna]

Other because...
Pregnant at 19 w/ a guy I'd only known for 2 months (oops!!) and should never have gone with on a second date. Legally married, like alienmama's story, we signed the papers in between loads of laundry at the laundry mat. Tried to make it work until dd was 18mos. Finally came to my senses and became FREE (sort of) at 22...Met and married my best friend at 25, child #2 conceived 9 mos after wedding. Now I can happily attest that "first comes love, then comes marriage, then comes baby in the baby carriage..." is the way to go....

[Julie]

Other
In a monogamous relationship; not married got pg after dateing for 3 1/2 months Ended up M/C that baby and it took us a year to get Pg with DS...Marrage never came up its not something either of us want or need

[*Erin*]

i was ( am still ) in an 8-goin-on-9 yr monogomous relationship with dbf. My pregnancy was a happy accident and a total surprise, though I had been filled with baby lust just prior...We have no plans to marry anytime soon.

[MamaLuna]

Sorry...didn't mean to offend anybody with the whole "first comes, then comes marriage..." thing. Just meant it was the way to go for me, especially after my first experience where love didn't really come first. :rolleyes:

[DeChRi]

Was taking the pill religiously and still got pregnant at 19 to guy i have been dating for 2 months, got married 4 months later. We now have a 3 yr old dd and will be blissfully married for 4 years this November. I say a little prayed every night that I was blessed with dh. We have been fabulous for each other and opened each other to very different things. Yeah! a happy ending.

Jo

[NancyBrink]

Hi! I chose "other" because I didn't see a selection that said "Got married. Got pregnant. Had baby. Husband died." There are more young widows than you think!

[jamminmommy]

Got married, tried to conceive, adopted two dtrs. stayed married as long as I could stand it, but have been single for the past 7 years. in love for the past year with a wonderful man who also has teens.

[Tori]

I got married probably conceived during honeymoon, seperated when dd was 2 mos. conceived again on a "try to make this work" when dd was 4-5 mos. Found out expecting again when she was 6 mos. to the day and the day we officially called it quits. Husband left state and is no where to be found when dd was 7 mos. dd is now 2, ds will be one soon.

[HeatherM]

I picked other, I got preg and left the father.

[madison]

I may now be using a known donor - a friends' husband, possibly! I'll know in a month or so, we are still discussing it. I've been friends with them for 8 years, and we've joked around about it. I am also considering (but not strongly) co-parenting with a gay couple, but our parenting philosophies are very different, so I doubt it will work out.


:hippie

[oceansmama]

We were together 2 years, I got pregnant, he cheated on me the whole time we were together and though I shouldn't have, we got married when baby was 7 months old. Then my now ex husband left me for someone 5 years younger and I divorced him. Then 1 year after the divorce I went to court to get physical custoday of our ds.
NOw I am with a different man, we are expecting our first together. My first son is now 5 1/2 and his father is married to the girl he left me for. The man I am with now, and I are not married yet. Someday.....
Maize
due 9/16

[greenluv]

We did things a little backward.
I met my hubby at 16, I had our first baby at 18 then got married at 19 on our dd first birthday. We figured the very best birthday gift we could give her was committed parents :) We have since added 2 more babies and looking to add another! ( what can I say, we just get one baby up walking and talking and we want another one :rolleyes: ) We are now 29 (me) and daddy is 32.

[Mama2G&E]

This is the way things happened for us, and I wouldn't change a thing...

We 1st bought a house, then we had baby #1, then we got married, then we had baby#2:) And I if all goes well, maybe #3 someday.

[JavaJerri]

I picked using an unknown donor. I did this twice with two different donors. Ds #1 was born 12-30-91. Ds #2 was born 6-26-00.

[sorrel]

About the poll. It is missing " asked him to leave," or "left him." That is actually a lot of the single mommas I know. We got smart or desperate. Anyways, I want to conceive again, in fact I have wanted very seriously and depressingly to have another baby since my daughter was two and she's almost nine. What do you do when you're with the one and he has little sex drive and can't seem to just relax and let the conception happen. I'm aging here, (30yrs) and I don't want to wait any longer. We're actually planning on getting married and the whole bit, but having a baby is the most important thing to me. He loves kids and is awesome with babies, but he can't seem to just say let's do it. I don't want to be distrustful and get pregnant without his knowledge. But the pressure is on for me, and I feel time running out, because I want to be done having babies by 35yrs, and hope to have two more. ANyone have similar experiences? I'd really love some advice.
In peace, Sorrel

[*~*SewHappyNow*~*]

I chose got pregnant then married. My story is complicated, like many. My husband now of not even 2 months and I have been together almost 14 years. We had planned to get married long ago, after I got out of college. My mother didn't like my wedding plans though and I ended up saying screw getting married. I started working and never had time to plan a wedding, nor did I even desire to have one.

...July 4th I found out I was pregnant. We got married last month. Everyone is thrilled, even my parents.

[LaDeesseduTout]

We have never had a text book relationship...

We always knew we were gonna get married one day, there was no get down on your knee engagement or anything, had taken sometime apart.....then gotten back together, we started planning a wedding date and then realize we were expecting - got married 7 months pg. He left 10 months into it....came back a month later.....on again off again ect......Offically of divorced. Then I realized how much I loved him!!:confused: :confused: (I think ) So we are currently "Dating" living seperatley.

We both love each other so strongly but can't always get along - so this is good for now.

Shannon

[Moon]

I picked other too.

I was married to Maeve's father. We separated when Maeve was 5-ish.

I was living with Sophie's father. He is no longer around.

Maeve's father is Sophie's "stand in". She has his surname, and will call him "Daddy" just like Maeve does. He cares for her as if she was his own.

(This worked because Sophie's first Daddy didn't have any family, if he had family that needed to be considered, I might have handled things differently.)

[April 2007]

i picked "other" because I was thinking of leaving my ex-boyfriend, then I knew I needed to, then found out I was pregnant. After that I decided to see how he would react...based on his first response when I told him, "o.k....(pause)...what do you want me to do about it?" , it just went downhill from there (as if that was actually uphill?!?).

So I left him, but tried to keep him involved....he didn't want to be, and ignored us, so I decided that Noah was best without him, too. He's a really bad person.I know that sounds harsh, but he's dangerous and I wouldn't trust him with my child for a split-second!! Besides, his idea of parenting is getting the formula, changing the disposable (maybe twice a day), calling a babysitter (someone he doesn't know at all who doesn't charge much), and then going out partying with his fiance. Not that I've ever given him the chance to express his "type" of parenting, but I've seen him and know him...I woudn't put it past him-I'd bet on it!

Anyway, I won't go on anymore right now...no one wants to read some girl rambling on about an idiot!

-Devin(I really am usually much more positive...I promise!)
and Noah born 8/19/02

[miriam]

Dearest MOthering Friends:

My story is boring.

We met when I was 22.

We got married when I was 23.

We got pregnant when I was 26,...

...and 28,...

...and 30,...

...and 37.

That's all folks!:banana :raz :snap

[kelly]

I am still ttc baby #1 after 8 tries with unknown donor sperm:( . Strongly considering changing to known donor, as it will probably increase my chances of success (lots of medical tests have all been normal).

Kelly

[~member~]

Other - went on a few dates with a man I have known for 17 years. Third date we dtd and even though I was on the pill AND he used a condom...my DD was born on the 24th of September. Her father visited her in the hospital for two hours then split. Haven't seen or heard from him since. Guess you can never really know someone after all, huh? Oh, well, his loss. ;)

[1jooj]

I married dh at 24. We saved ttc until we were secure--not financially, but in our relationship!--and had ds when I was 27. Dear babe #2 is due this winter--I'll be 30.

[annakiss]

at 19 we met & promptly got married (6 weeks after meeting). 3 years later got pg at 22. Now DS is 8 mo and DH & I have been together & married 4 1/2 years and we're 24. Very traditional, I know (except the elopement part). It's odd because we are NOT the traditional types.

edited to change our age b/c somehow I forgot how old I was.

[Wendi]

My boyfriend and I broke up and about a week and a half later, I found out I was pregnant. We talked about it for a while, he actually wanted to get married at first, but I said, "F no!" hehehe, I have never wanted to be married. He seemed to get more upset each day, and ultimately wanted me to have an abortion. There was a NO WAY I could have done that! I haven't seen or heard from him since I was 20 weeks pregnant. He has never even met Max... his loss. About a month after Max was born, I sent him information and pictures all sealed up within another envelope with a note. I have no idea if he ever even opened it. I don't understand at all how someone can just go on with life without being curious about their own child...

[myfreckleface]

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