How is everyone doing this month?

[gonnabeamom]

How are you handling the rollercoaster this cycle?

Trying anything new? Reaching for serenity? Feeling like hiding out?

[naturegirl]

Just laying low and praying for a miracle. :rolleyes: At least that's what it feels like sometimes.

I am still charting just so I can relay info to my acupuncturist and chiropractor about my cycles. I don't think I would be if my acupuncturist didn't use the info for my treatments. I am trying to stay positive yet at the same time prepare myself for being around my 3 nephews and pregnant sil for Christmas. Being around all of them really makes me yearn for a baby and family of my own. :(

How are you doing? I hope we both have wonderful news at the end of this months rollercoaster ride. :)

Cheryl
:hippie

[gonnabeamom]

I'm surprisingly optimistic this month. I finally know when I O'd, which is a first for me. I'm also O ing earlier, so I'm less nervous about my boderline LP

I've somehow been able to do things that have been hard for me. I've had 2 cups of fertility tea each day, instead of 4 cups twice a week. I had to go buy new vitex cause I couldn't find my bottle, but I just did it instead of putting it off.

I'm partly optimistic that I will get pregnant, and partly I find myself just happy that things seem to be falling into place.

I actually was looking at a couple of books I'll be buying if it's not our month, and I seemed to be okay with that.

I've got a huge desire to be pregnant at Christmas, but nobody else is reproducing in my family so I won't be around little ones.

A priestess I know is doing a fertility ritual for me soon (we had to reschedule because she was menstruating) and that makes me feel confident, too.

[naturegirl]

Sounds like you are doing great! :thumb It is very difficult for me to "let go" of expectations and outcomes. I have a feeling I will need to get there for pregnancy to occur but I don't really know how. I am trying to look forward to the things I wouldn't be able to do if I was pregnant, like go snowboarding. That way if I don't achieve pregnancy I can at least go out and have some fun on the slopes...(would much rather be home wrapped in a comfy blanket with a herbal tea/hot apple cider, a book, and a baby growing in my womb though.:wink)

I have also noticed I have a fear of repeat miscarriage. I don't know how to get over that either. I guess I just have to start having faith in a higher power and take good care of myself. Easier said than done...

Cheryl
:hippie

[kelly]

I am in my first cycle of ttc since I took a 1 year hiatus after a previous year of ttc and no babe. My feelings are very strange to me right now - I think I am so afraid to get my hopes up and have them shattered that I can't get excited about a possible pregnancy at all. I know this is not a healthy mindset to be in while ttc, but I do not know what to do about it. Any suggestions?

Kelly

[gonnabeamom]

Kelly,

I think your feelings are quite understandable. If my experience holds, they will change on their own. You will get excited when your baby gets here, and I don't think it will hurt anything if you don't get excited until then.

I would only be concerned if you can't get excited about anything TTC can be so all consuming that it's good to try and keep doing other things that make you feel good.

I hope that this can be a good place for you, and that you are not here long.

[naturegirl]

I don't know if this will help or not. It helped me but I can be a little weird...:p

I was just talking to a lady I know about her kids. She has two boys one is 17 and the other is 13. Well she told me it took her 7 years to conceive her first son and basically 4 years to conceive the other! It helped me because as I get to the one year mark it doesn't make it seem so bad. I can still get pregnant and experience birth. I know I can! It may take me some time but it will happen. It will happen for all of us! Hopefully it won't take us 7 years but if that what it takes...I will take 7 years over never. :)

Good luck ladies and don't give up hope. Her boys are beautiful!

Cheryl
:hippie

P.S. She didn't do any medical interventions...

[chrissy]

hi mamas,

i have just finished (as of sunday) a cylcle of hormone replacement therapy- 14 days of estrogen then 7 of estrogen and progesterone- and now i am waiting and hoping that AF will show so i can try clomid. i am hopeful but also scared. if this doesn't work, not sure what that means. i'm also having acupuncture weekly and she thinks i am going to have a period so we will see.

saw a beautiful maternity shirt today and wanted to buy it but didn't.

again told my dh that i just want to adopt and he is still not ready.

cheryl, thank you for the inspiring story! :love also, i have no idea how to let go of ideals and outcomes. i am struggling with this mysel. but i do have :hug

kelly, i struggle with similar feelings. i want to feel hopeful but i don't want to set myself up for a huge fall. i don't know how to handle the discrepancy. i hope we can help each other on this board. :hug and :love

gonnabeamom, how much longer until you test? you sound really peaceful! good for you mama! :love

[gonnabeamom]

Hi Gals,

Naturegirl,

I also know someone who took 10 years, a few people who've been through IVF. I do think part of what makes this hard on all of us, is that it seems like everyone else gets pregnant right away. And by extension that maybe there is something wrong with you if you don't. I just think people who take longer don't talk about it. Most poeple will be honest with a few close friends if it takes/took awhile, but usually then only if someone else mentions their difficulty. On the other hand nobody minds announcing they got pregnant on the first try. Back when I watched a baby story complusively there was a huge range of time people tried.

LawyORmama,
I hope you get your period (boy do I feel weird typing that).

If it doesn't work their are other options, both technological and magical. Clomid is not the end of the road, or the only one.
:hug

As for me I'm not so peaceful, but I am wound up in a happy way. I've got a really nice chart that I stare at for about 5 minutes every morning. I pledged to ignore symptoms after last cycle, so I obsess about my chart instead, which normally doesn't make much sense. I went back over my old ones and they don't have a pattern at all. I have had one good chart that look like pregnant before, but it took a nose dive at the end.

I also promised myself I wouldn't test until I was late, becuase I usually O around day 20 of a 30 day cycle, but this cycle I O'd on day 17 which means I could actually be 10dpo over the weekend. I'd really like to find out on a weekend so I could spend the day with DH. He didn't buy me a birthday present this year because what he really wanted to get me was a smashing maternity dress, and he couldn't bear to give up on that and get me something else. I want to go shopping!

So :blah, We'll see how long I can hold out.

[kelly]

I'm so glad that there are other people here who can relate to this experience. The stories also give me hope. I am confident that those of us who are already here will serve as sources of hope for the others, too.

I went in for my first ultrsound yesterday, and have 4 follicles that will probably be ready tomorrow. So, I will soon be starting the 2ww and reaping all of its emotional ups and downs.

gonnabeamom - Thanks. I am feeling more and more optimistic daily. I may not be pregnant this cycle, but I am more confident that I will be at some point. The hardest part is not knowing when that will be. Does that make sense?

Baby dust and thoughts for inner peace to everyone.
:dust :dust :dust

Kelly

[AdinaL]

Hi gals! Everybody sounds so good this month!

I am still waiting to O, but I am feeling good about everything.

I have been reading the Whole Person Fertility Program, and it is really good. It is also helping me see some of the things that I have been holding on to emotionally. Some of it I take with a grain of salt...but most of it is really good.

I had an epiphany about getting pregnant, that I felt for some reason I didin't deserve to be pregnant as much as other women. That was interesting and good to realize. I also realized that somewhere inside, I went into ttc thinking that there were going to be problems. That for some reason I couldn't get pregnant.

So this month, I am pretty hugely optimistic. I can and will get pregnant. I can and will have a baby. It is a very different outlook than I have had before. It is no longer "if" but "when".

Anyway :blah, this is just one of those things, that I know you guys would get! So I thought I would be long winded and share!

Much :love and :baby :dust to all!!!

[gonnabeamom]

Kelly,

The not knowing when makes perfect sense to me. I went through a phase around cycle 6, where I was really stuck on that. Like "okay, I get that this will take time-just give me the number. If I just know I could handle it". It did eventually pass.

Adina,

I've got a short list of books I'm gonna get if this doesn't turn out to be my month. Whole Person is on the top.


It so good to be able to investigate what might be blocking you without being hard on yourself. I try to do that for myself. I am thrilled you are feeling optimistic. I think you'll make a wonderful mom.

I'm obsessing over my chart, but managing a little bit of rationality even while I do it.

[Astrid]

Thanks for this thread, the positive energy has really helped make me feel better this morning :) I was feeling so positive all month, then last night af started and I felt so down :crying I cried all night and this morning, I couldn't stop. A year ago I thought I would be holding a baby by this Christmas, or at least be pregnant but it wasn't meant to be I guess.

I keep telling myself it will happen, I just have to be patient but it is hard when every one around you is getting pregnant and having babies. The infertility story that keeps me going is my aunt-in-law who saw the dr after trying to conceive and was told there was no way she could, Im not sure what was wrong but she had a bunch of operations and nothing seemed to work and she was told there was nothing more that could be done. 3 years later she was pregnant! 5 years later she was pregnant again! So I feel like there is a chance for me.

It is wonderful to have a place here to sort of vent this out, esp since there is no one to talk to in real life about it. And I look forward to all of us being :belly

[gonnabeamom]

:wave Astrid,

Have a big :hug.

I've certainly been there. I've seen my parents, who live across the country, an unsual number of times this year, and each time I was sad when I didn't come up pregnant, but thought "well, I'll be pregnant next time I see them."

Same for my birthday, my DH's birthday, mothers day, fathers day, etc.

We're just stuck here balancing the statistics for all those folks who get pregnant the first month. My Dr. took 10 years. But it's gonna happen.

Chrissy,

Any news? Did you change your login name?

As for me, I'm having a weird time because I think this might be my month, but I'm being fairly contained about it. My DH, usually the voice of reason, and Mr. Rain on my parade, when I get excited, practically tapped danced out of the house because my temp went back up after a dip.

It's all great, but it's very strange.

[chrissy]

Oh Astrid, I'm so sorry. :hugs May this be your last AF for a long long time!!

Gonnabeamom, I am so excited for you!! Will try to remain cautiously so. Come on BFP, Come on! I did change my screen name (from lawyORmama? to chrissy) and I changed my signature too.

I'm working on being optimistic and positive. I had some red spotting on Wednesday and it looks like that will be my "period." Had a pelvic exam, no cysts so I'm supposed to start the drugs (Clomid and Tamoxifen) today. I'm very nervous about this for some reason. I wasn't going to tell my acupuncturist but that felt wrong, so I just called and confessed. She was awesome and I am so intensely relieved.

Adina, that's right woman you WILL get pregnant!! I am new to this positive thinking bit but so far I like it!

Kelly, hurrah for your follicles! Have they released yet? I hope your 2 week wait is a relatively easy one with a huge-o gigantico postive at the end!

Cheryl, how are you doing?

[naturegirl]

Oh boy I am really trying to be positive this month and it is hard...:( Monday is the anniversary of my miscarriage. My baby's "birthday" so to speak. That is why I am having a hard time I think. I was so sure I would have had a baby by now or at least been pregnant by now. I remember telling a friend of mine that I wanted to have a baby or at least a big belly by Christmas of this year. That isn't going to happen. (hopefully a little, teeny belly though...:) )

Other than that I am just waitig to O. Still hasn't happened this cycle although I think it will probably happen before Monday.
It is so great to have you ladies to share my thoughts with. :grouphug. I hope we all have great success stories soon.

Cheryl
:hippie

[Astrid]

:grouphug It's funny, I was avoiding coming here because I thought it would make me obsess, but really, having a baby is on my mind all the time and talking out my feelings here really helps :)

Telling dh I am pregnant would be the best Christmas present ever so I am really hoping this is the month. I am going to try to absorb some of the positive energy on this thread to help me through the month.

Cheryl :hug

Chrissy, :love your sig!

[kelly]

Chrissy - I am now 2 dpo! I had two huge follicles and two medium size ones. Hopefully just one of those will be the one!

I'm excited and scared at the same time, though. I keep having this nagging feeling that my tubes are blocked - I know that sounds weird, but I had an HSG 2 years ago and it hurt really, really badly! I heard that's common in women who are blocked, although the radiologist said the dye went through on both sides - I couldn't watch the screen because I was in so much pain. Anyway, my RE wanted to see the films because she says she has disagreed with radiologists' opinions before, and my films get lost in the mail!! (*!&# Postal Service!!) So now there's no proof. Then, when I had laparsocopy last month, my RE told my partner right afterward that my tubes seemed clogged, but she was able to flush fluid through them. BUT, when I went in for my post-op visit, she tells me that she *couldn't* flush fluid through my tubes, but since my HSG results were good I shouldn't worry!! I don't know what to think, but having blocked tubes would sure explain my infertility when nothing else does! I don't know - maybe I should get a second opinion, but now I don't have any facts to base another doctors' opinion on - no HSG films, and contradictory stories from my RE.:scratch

Sorry for the book here - just frustrated and afraid to get my hopes up because I feel like something's wrong but I can't prove it, you know? My only other option is in vitro at this point. Sigh. Soooo, I am just keeping my fingers crossed about this cycle, and maybe I won't have to worry about this stuff any more :D . My RE did say that she'd only have me do injectable hormones for 3 tries before sending me for in vitro, anyway, so I guess there's a light at the end of the tunnel..........

Kelly

[gonnabeamom]

Kelly,

Yeah! for those follicles!

As for me I'm starting a new cycle today, and miserable about it as I always am on the first day. Holidays make it harder.

Tomorrow I'll be optimistic, or maybe Thursday, about the progress I've made this cycle, but right now I am just gonna let myself feel wretched.

I'm supposed to see good friends later today, and I can't decide whether I want to cancel because pretending to feel normal around them is a strain, or want to see them because it would be a good distraction.

I'll wait until it gets closer to decide.

[naturegirl]

Gonnabeamom, hope you are feeling better soon. :hug

Kelly, how are things going. You are 4 or 5 DPO right? I sure hope you achieve pregnancy this cycle so you don't have to go through more tests. :hug :dust

Hey obnoxiously positive! :LOL Getting geared up to O soon I hear. :D Hoping you move on to the 40 week wait soon.

Astrid, I wouldn't be able to keep my mind off of ttc either. I am very stubborn sometimes...:p Hope being here helps you too. :grouphug

Chrissy, what's up with you lately? Glad to see you have an awesome acupuncturist. I love mine too. :love

Lots of :dust :dust :dust for all of us this cycle.

Hang in there ladies, I am sending positive baby vibes to you all!
<<<<<<<<<babyvibes>>>>>>>>>>:D

Cheryl
:hippie

[jenniferB]

Originally posted by naturegirl
I remember telling a friend of mine that I wanted to have a baby or at least a big belly by Christmas of this year.

i told my husband this last year at christmas time too. now i don't dare think about next christmas.

~jenn
ttc#2 for 12+not-counting-anymore months

[kelly]

Hi Again -

I'm now 10 dpo and starting to worry about AF coming. Just have that bad feeling, though really nothing to justify it other than the usual can't get pregnant problem.:rolleyes: If AF does show up, it'll be right at Thanksgiving, when we are having 8-10 people over for dinner. Wouldn't that just be great??

How is everyone else doing? Busy for the holiday, I imagine. Hope this month is a success for you!!

:dust :dust :dust :dust

Kelly

[HollyBearsMom]

Hi everyone- Thanks for this thread. I was in such a state of funk until I started reading the posts!

After the difficult decsion, at 41, to decide to have another child I recieved terrible yet postive news at the same time. After just finishing the clomid challange my Dr discovered during the office hysteroscopy that not only has my fibroid gotten bigger but that one whole section of my uterus is covered in pollups. They don't want me to even bother with the IUI and instead want me to have surgery to clean me up. I am so depressed after the rollercoaster emotions of clomid only to discover it wasn't worth it. Yet the good news is my uterus should be in prime shape for the next cycle! My surgery is shceduled for 12/15 so after tht I can enjoy the holidays and then look forward to a new cycle in January.

My thoughts and prayers to everyone else out there. Lets think happy, fertile thoughts!

[fairymama]

I would like to join you all if you'll have me. I really need to be able to vent to people who "get it" once in awhile and I'm very attracted to all of the positive energy here!
The short version about me is that I have a beautiful, intelligent, loving, and funny daughter named Carrie Elizabeth. She is 33 months old now and she still nurses, although not more than a few times a day. I think we will wean soon, but that's another thread. I lost twins at 6 and 9 weeks before having her and went through around 2 years of ttc. It took clomid and progesterone, along with God's grace, to get Carrie to us.
I always thought she was such a little miracle to us, I wouldn't be upset if we didn't have another one. I was wrong!!! Baby fever gets worse every month. I am encouraged that I've had two periods, with relatively normal days between.
The neat thing I really want to share is that today my DD was playing with the phone, pretending to call grandparents, etc. She started talking to Grandpa Leon, who died last month, and I thought it was really sweet the conversation she was having with him. She hung up the phone and told me she had called heaven. Carrie then made another call and when she hung up, I asked who that was and she told me her baby sister Lilly, and that she was fine and would be coming soon. I got goosebumps!! Carrie has been telling me lately she wants a baby sister, as a friend from church has recently had one. However, after seeing the baby in the hospital, and me holding the baby, she told me she just wanted a puppy, a chocolate lab to be exact. Since the baby wanting seemed to be over for her, this just floored me today. I so want to believe it's a positive sign. And after reading the great posts here, I think I will.
I hope everyone here has good news soon. There really isn't anything more wonderful in this world.
Pamela

[gonnabeamom]

:w

Hi Folks,

Glad you found us. I hope Lily get's here soon.


I'm having a weird month. I binged on Amazon on CD 1, and got 3 fertility books delivered on saturday. I finished two by Sunday, and am working my way through the third , Whole Person Fertility program. It brings up all sorts of stuff that is only part way worked through.

I'm feeling less optimistic about this being my month, I think partly 'cause I can't really deal with the whole christmas thing. If I get pregnant this month, I would not only be pregnant at Christmas I'd get to tell my family in person. Last year we thought we might be, and we were sure we'd be by now, so I think I'm just trying to keep my eye on the regular holiday balls. Shopping planning etc.

On top of everything else DH and I have been having non-ttc related spats lately. I think that maybe TTC is a little like getting married was for us-I feel like I've got to get things sorted out now, before the baby so it raises the stakes somehow. It doesn't help that I'm having these monster headaches, and unexplained nausea. (yeah, I checked, BFN)

I will get my attitude readjusted soon, and rejoin the obnoxiously positive. I didn't leave completely. I am more sure that we will have a baby, just less sure about when.

[chrissy]

hi girls,

kelly, i'm thinking of you and hoping your panties are white and you'll be getting a big HUGE positive in the morning. lots of positive thoughts are being sent your way.

gonnabeamom, i'm sorry you are feeling a little discouraged right now. it is only natural to have periods of down in the dumps about ttc. big :hug and i'm glad you're here!

Pamela, wow, what a great story!! i'm hoping Lily is just around the corner for you!

hi hollybearsmom, i'm sorry that you got news you wished you hadn't. december 15th is coming right up though and then onward and upward- or out (as in belly popping out!) for you!

hey cheryl, how are you? where are you in your cycle now?

astrid, thanks for the compliment on my new signature! i like it too! it's adina's attitude rubbing off on me. how are you?

hi jenn, not to worry, next Christmas you WILL have a new baby in your arms or in your belly.

as for me, i'm on cd 15 today. yesterday my temp jumped way up to 98.5 but then this morning it was back down to 97.6. we'll see what tomorrows does. i had a negative opk today. 2 days ago it was questionable but i considered it a negative until the temp jump. so confusing. still bd'ing like crazy.

[Astrid]

:wave HollyBearsMom and fairymama

:hug gonnabeamom I know exactly how you feel. ttc after this long is a horrible rollarcoaster ride where you slowly ride up for weeks and do the huge drop in a matter of seconds (if that makes any sense:rolleyes: :))

Last month I was feeling good about it so I was quite devastated when af showed up. This month dh parents were visiting so not much time to bd and I wouldn't be suprised if this wasn't our month. I am still hoping but I don't think I will be as broken hearted as last month if af does show up.

:dust Here is for everyone here to be :belly for Christmas :dust

[naturegirl]

:wave ladies. Sorry I haven't been around here much. I have been trying to stay away from the boards a little and have a non-obsessive cycle. Didn't really work though...:p

Had a huge temp drop today (below cl) and have had some light spotting for the past 3 or 4 days. Looks like I will soon be "officially" infertile. :( You know ttc for over twelve months. :rolleyes: THIS SUCKS! (Sorry PMS:splat )

I am going in for testing next month with a naturopath. I hope she can help me get pregant soon. In a way I feel like a failure and in a way I just want to let them do what they need to get pregnant. I also feel like I am giving into western medicine. I have such faith that our bodies are capable of self healing, reproduction, growth, etc. without interfering. Why can't I? :crying :angry :confused:

And if one more person tells me to relax! :angry :bang :firedevil :soapbox :demon :censored :cuss :help Ahhhhhhhhhh!

Sorry, in the process of the huge drop. I so wanted to have a baby/be pregnant by Christmas. It is the ONLY thing on my Christmas wish list.

Cheryl

[gonnabeamom]

Naturegirl,

:hug

repeat after me

12 months is a guideline! 12 months is just a goddamn guideline! 12 months is just a stupid guideline!

One of my fertility books talks a lot about the negative language of Western medicine, and the hurt that inflicts on many women. Don't submit to medical hexing!

Say: MY body is having trouble conceiving, and I am going to take care of myself, and do what I can to help support my body is conceiving and carrying a child.

12 months bites the big one no doubt, but your faith in your body will be rewarded!

[naturegirl]

12 months is just a guideline. 12 months is just a goddamn guideline. 12 months is just a stupid guideline. :)

I have the power and health to carry a baby full term and have a healthy birth. I can do it! :D

Thanks Gonnabeamom :hug

Cheryl

P.S. :af didn't show today, still hanging in there.

[fairymama]

Chrissy, Astrid, Gonnabeamom,
Thanks for the welcome. I really hope to hear about Lilly's arival soon. I too would love to be pregnant at Christmas, along with everyone else here. I work part-time and the job entails doing some counselling type work with at-risk teens. In the last week three of them have told me they're pregnant. Uggggh!! It's really hard to not want to shake my fist at the heavens, but I know that is just the way life is sometimes.
Cheryl- it does really stink to know that AF is on the way when we are desperately hoping not to see her for a long, long time. With PCOS I don't temp, as it's just too darn frustrating to think about temping day after day with no change. Just reinforcing in my mind I'm not functioning right. I am somewhat optimistic with the last couple of months of having periods, so if it happens again I might get the old BBT out of storage.
It's day 14 for me and I seem to have EWCM on day 20-21 if the last two months mean anything. DH will be pheasant hunting a state away next weekend, so that will be perfect timing, not!!
Anyway, ladies here's to hoping we all have a new little baby to be thankful for next November.
Pamela

[naturegirl]

Pamela, Dh are always leaving during O time! Don't they understand! :scratch :LOL Hope your O comes early or late so DH can be with you and do his part!:wink

I am starting a new cycle today. :af showed once again for the 12th unwanted time...:angry

Feeling good that I may get some answers from my naturopath soon and be able to move on again.

How is everyone else?

Cheryl

:hippie

[chrissy]

Cheryl,
:crying :hug

[gonnabeamom]

I am really emotional. I just finished Inconceivable in almost one session. Great book, very helpful,hopeful.

I still continue to believe that I'm gonna have a baby sometime, and to be scared of beleiving that this could be the month. I've even been feeling pushed to start getting DH to talk about parenting styles, and feel like I want to get certain things clear before the baby comes.

I'm CD 13 and just got my second "high" from my fertility monitor which is good news as I'm Oing earlier in my cycles.

I told DH this morning "I know this is going to happen, but I want to forward to the end, where I say it was really hard, and we had to wait for X, but it was all worth it to have our baby now" The waiting just feels like sooooo much.

In the meantime, I'm going to picture all of us at a reunion somewhere with babies, and toddlers running around, and all of us hassled and joyful, talking about how it seemed we'd never get here and here we are with our babies.

[jenniferB]

i feel like crap. :af should be arriving today or tomorrow. i was really hoping to be pregnant by christmas. now i just want to stay inside, avoid all the holiday parties with those pg women, and feel sorry for myself. :crying

i remember during the parties last year i had to avoid any wine because the 2ww. now i can drink but i hate drinking when i'm depressed.
:angry

i think i need to move on. i'm tempted to burn all my charts and toss my bbt thermometers. i need to get on with my life.

~jenn

[Astrid]

:grouphug to Cheryl, jenniferB and anyone else who needs one.

[naturegirl]

:dust for Christmas BFP's

:hug for everyone have a rough time with the holidays. (me included)

I have news, but not sure if it is good or bad at this point. (leaning towards bad) I woke up this am and decided to POAS (temp was up still and my period was "lighter" than usual) Well it was BFP! :eek I started my "period" on Saturday and have had both bright red and dark bleeding. I am still bleeding some today and think I will wait until it is over and if it doesn't get really heavy will test again to see if he/she made it.

I am scared, sad, and a little excited. At least I got a BFP but I think I will lose this one too. :crying I am starting to really wish I hadn't even tested this morning...I hope it doesn't take another 12 months to get a BFP.

Chrissy, gonnabeamom, Astrid, fairymama, jennifer :grouphug

I hope we all get sticky BFP's for Christmas or very soon there after. :dust :dust :dust

Cheryl
:hippie

[Astrid]

:hug :love Cheryl I am so happy for your BFP and am praying for him/her to be sticky :) What a wonderful Christmas present that will be! I am sure you have heard this before, but lots of women have light bleeding early and go on to have healthy babies. Sending you lots of :sticky :dust

[chrissy]

Cheryl, big :hug to celebrate and to comfort you! How is your temperature? I think I read in the 2ww thread that your temp is still high. I would say that is a very very good sign. I wonder if you could have your progesterone checked. If it is low, they could give you suppositories to help the pregnancy stick.
I also wanted to tell you that I had several bleeding episodes during my pregnancy with Noah, one was even kind of heavy and bright red and he was born happy and healthy and huge at 40 weeks. I am soooooooooo happy for you! Spread some more of that babydust lady!

JenniferB, I am so sorry you are feeling down. I sincerely hope that you are wrong and that AF does not show. I know of many many a woman who was sure her period was coming only to get a BFP. I'm so hoping that for you!

Had my blood drawn today for a 7dpo progesterone check to see if I really ovulated. Will find out tomorrow.

Definitely holiday bfp's for us all!!!

[fairymama]

Cheryl,
Get that progesterone tested ASAP!!!! I really believe it can/does make the difference. I have a 33 month old dancing in the next room to prove it. She just came in and told me her "words are very important", then she waved her purple wand and told me Bippidee Boppidee Boo!
Jen, I'm really sorry you're feeling so down. I hope it stays away for you.
I have had a down couple of days myself, don't really think it's all ttc related, but it doesn't help. I should be taking metformin, but I can't seem to remember 3 pills a day. I don't know why that is so hard, but it is. I have decided to just do 1 1/2 pills morning and night and hope that works just as well. I would love to feel like my body was really ovulating on its own, kwim?
Pamela

[naturegirl]

oops double post:scratch

[naturegirl]

Thanks! You guys give me hope. I am still bleeding. Lightly all day long. :( I do have some progesterone (oral) that I started taking today. I just hope it isn't too late. I have an appt. with my naturopath next Monday. I will get more news then. Hopefully I will be discussing how to maintain this pregnancy and not how to get pregnant again...

Thanks for all the support and inspiring stories!

Btw temp was high this am~
Cheryl
:hippie

[jenniferB]

thanks everyone for the hugs. i feel better after them.

cheryl! i'm so happy for you! you have more courage than i do to test during what you think is af. :D what prompted you to test? if you don't mind me asking.

when i had bleeding thru my pg, one nurse told me she bleed the whole nine months and still gave birth to a healthy baby.

i would take it easy for for the next couple of days. when i stayed in bed, the bleeding slowed considerably. our situations probably have nothing in common, but just felt i should share.

my baby was a clinger tho. wishing and hoping yours is too! keep us posted please. your good news has given me new hope.

~jenn

[chrissy]

I ovulated!! I almost can't believe it. I am so beyond thrilled though. My progesterone was only 5.9 so it was a "weak ovulation" but a confirmed one nonetheless. Also I've been reading on the internet that it should be a blood test first thing in the morning before you eat otherwise the result might be lower than it actually is. Hoping that's the case since mine wasn't drawn until 4:30 pm. So I'm on suppositories for 7 days and longer if (when!) I'm pregnant.

If in an alternate universe I were not pregnant then I would stop taking the progesterone and I would get AF. Then I'd take a cycle off to let my ovaries "rest." Then if I still wasn't pregnant I'd have a monitored cycle and probably injectibles of some type. But who cares?! Because I am pregnant NOW!!

Cheryl, light bleeding and high temp are good! I hope you are able to rest and (try to) relax. Many :sticky thoughts are being sent your way!

And now I'm off to join my first ever 2ww!

[Astrid]

chrissy, congrats on ovulating :D I love your positive attitude! I am going to ask my dr about progesterone when I get home, but that won't be until the summer and I WILL be pregnant by then (just testing out a positive attitude for myself:LOL )

Cheryl, I am thinking of you :hug I hope you are able to rest and take it easy. :)

[naturegirl]

Thanks for the story Jenn. Those really keep me positive!

I have had the, why did you even test? alot. Well, I woke up on my third day of "af" and decided to start temping to get my new chart started. Well my temp was still up! Much to my surprise:eek That along with the fact that I didn't have my usual first and/or second day of heavy bleeding prompted me to test. In reality I also had a strange feeling that I REALLY needed to buy some pregnancy tests when I was in the grocery store despite I was on my second day of bleeding. I guess it was innate talking to me. Be quiest and listen. It will tell you things.:) I tested and got a BFP! The first thing I did was start bawling. Just thinking, sure this is when I get a BFP, just so I know that I "lost" another one. :crying

Well, I am trying to not give up hope and stories such as the one Jenn shared give me that hope to hold on and wait and see. Miracles do happen. :)

Chrissy! Congrats on the O! :dust for a :sticky pregnancy for you this cycle! :dust :dust :dust

Cheryl
:hippie

[gonnabeamom]

Jenn,

I've actually tested 3-4 times during strange periods, "just in case".

I tried joining a 12 step program for this, but the twelveth step always wound up in the test aisle at the drugstore.


I'm CD 16 and more cheerful today. Stll waiting for the peak from my monitor, which I got CD 16 last month, but not too anxious about it. Got in some good BDing last night after one of those horrible non-sucessful communication around BDing scenarios the night before. There's a whole topic in how TTC for a long time screws up your sex life. Maybe I'll start it next time I feel like :bang

I'm feeling optimistic over all and simultaneously planning how to tell my parents over Christmas, and what interventions will take if I'm not pregnant when we get back in January. Which is either very level-headed of me or schizophrenic.

[jenniferB]

"There's a whole topic in how TTC for a long time screws up your sex life."

isn't that the truth!

well, i'm a mess again. i keep waiting for af, but not only hasn't she showed, my temps are well above the coverline. i'm in a really anxious mood today and snapping at everyone.

i really didn't want to test ever again. i loathe those things. i was quite content waiting and watching my morning temps until about an hour ago. now i feel like if i don't take the test i'm going to explode.

problem with waiting for those 18 days post o to confirm pg is that i can't be really sure when i o'd. ff has it on cd14 (advanced mode) or cd17 (FAM). now i'm thinking that it could also be cd20. i'm on cd32 now.

geez, even this morning i went and did a due date calculation. gonnabe, you can also start a thread of "long term ttc'ers driven insane."

thanks for letting me vent. :)

~jenn
my chart (http://www.fertilityfriend.com/home/32650)

[fairymama]

The suspense it too much for me!! If you've posted elsewhere forgive me. Cheryl, how are things going??
Chrissy, did you test??
Please post, I'm so hoping for good things for both of you.
Take care,
Pamela

[chrissy]

Pamela, thanks for thinking of me. :) I'm not pregnant. So I've stopped the progesterone and now just waiting for AF to show. I hope she gets here fast. Then my stinking doctor says he likes you to "rest" between medicated cycles so I won't be doing Clomid or any other fertility meds this cycle. So I'm afraid I won't even ovulate, let alone get a period on my own, so who knows how long a "rest" I'll get. I'm thinking of doing another cycle of hormone replacement therapy so I can be pretty sure I'll get some kind of period within a month or so. Or maybe I'll just see if my body is back in line. I don't know. Also found out my doctor is not actually an RE, so I have an appointment with an actual RE in February.

Next door neighbor had her second baby last night. I went to the hospital and visited today. I was giddy with happiness while I was there but have been quite depressed ever since I left.

HOw are you Pamela?

Cheryl, I'm hoping you are still hanging in there with big high doubling numbers!

Jenn, your chart looks really really great! When will you test?

Hope everyone else is well. I am off to sulk some more.

[fairymama]

Sorry Chrissy, that really stinks! I don't know why but I had this strong feeling you would be pregnant. Shows what I know I guess. Try to think of the month off Clomid as a good thing. When I was going to the quack, who posed as someone with a clue about infertility, which is another looooong story, I had several months on 50 mg Clomid in a row. I know everyone is different, but it was not a good thing for me. I was not in a good place emotionally anyway and when each month would end with a BFN, I would crash hard. Just curious, did the dr monitor you with ultrasound or go on the progesterone reading? I just feel like I wasted a lot of time on the 50mg with low readings that would not have ever gotten me anywhere anyway.
Well, I guess I'm just in wait mode. I really am not sure if I ovulated anyway, so who knows. Trying to stay positive and balance it with reality but keep going into this fantasy that I test Christmas morning and get the BFP, followed by 9 blissful months, and then the most wonderful baby ever!!
Sending sticky vibes to Cheryl.
We're having a relaxed snow day here. I work part-time at a school, so we have a fun bonus day. Carrie and I are getting ready to go and make a snowman, and if we have enough energy left, cookies.
Ladies, take care of yourselves
Pamela

[jenniferB]

i'm so sorry chrissy. i hope af shows soon.

my temps continued to stay up and this week i was very stressed. don't feel pg at all. dh and i also fighting all the time. he finally said he didn't want another baby. i felt crushed. i don't want to tell him "maybe", because my hopes get dashed everymonth. but i finally end up telling him because he asked me to help in cleaning something that required toxic chemicals. afterward he does a 180. tells me to go rest and not to do anything. he even makes a special trip to go out and buy a test for me. this is a man who hasn't even taken out the garbage in 6 months. then he asks me to take it right away. of course i don't have to pee so he continues to call me every 15 minutes to see if i have to pee yet.

i hadn't realized what a tole ttc'ing had taken on him. i thought it was just me that was losing it. our sex life really had become miserable and i think that we wouldn't have been able to try again this month.

i did test and get a positive. i don't know what to feel yet. i thought i'd be happy. now i'm just scared that i'll lose him (i feel its a boy). i'm also not so sure that i got to that place i was supposed to get to before getting pg. i think i realy need to just let it flow now.

thanks for all the support. i can't tell you how much i appreciate it.

pamela, astid, chrissy and gonnabe i'll be thinking of you and wishing for dec/jan bfps!

~jenn

[chrissy]

jenn!!!!!!!!!

:D :thumb :love :Kiss :heartbeat :toothy :champagne :sticky :balloons :banana :jammin :bouncy :bgbounce

Hooray!!!!!

[gonnabeamom]

Jen,

Yeah! I am so happy for you.

It seems to me it's not uncommon for women who've been TTC for a long time to be really worried when they do get pregnant. I think some of the free floating anxiety is still there and it latches onto the possibility of m/c. TTC takes on such a life of it's own I think it can be hard to switch gears, and break the habit of thinking about it all the time. It can create a kind of shock, that leaves you feeling a little bit lost.

Some standard anti-m/c advice is to take it easy, talk to your baby, avoid cold foods (both those served at cold temperatures and cooling foods like fruits, raw veggies, etc), and eat really well.

have some sticky vibes

:sticky :sticky :sticky :sticky :sticky :sticky :sticky :sticky :sticky :sticky :sticky :sticky :sticky :sticky :sticky :sticky :sticky :sticky :sticky :sticky :sticky :sticky

Take good care of yourself and enjoy your pregnancy.

[jenniferB]

thanks crissy for the champagne and chocolate. i am virtually gorging myself on them now.

gonnabe, you are so right. i feel lost now. at times i am elated, at others i think "what have i done?", and then there are the constant m/c worries.

i've even gone to the pg boards but i feel so out of place. i've been in the ttc forum for so long (2 years with 14 months actively ttc'ing) that i feel more comfortable here.

i guess i'll have to start that thread of "mom's who are pg after ttc'ing for what seemed like eternity." and will have champagne and chocolates ready for you all!

~jenn

edited to add: i still have the:+ on my bathroom countertop in the hopes that by looking at it several times a day the news will sink in. :eek

[AdinaL]

Yay Jenn!! That is wonderful news!!! Congrats! It will sink in soon enough!

For now just take really good care of yourself!

Much :love and :sticky to you!

[Astrid]

:banana :balloons Congratulations Jenn :balloons :banana
:sticky :sticky :sticky vibes to you :love

[fairymama]

Yahoo!!!!! So happy for you. I totally understand the unreal aspect of it all. You're going through the process of switching gears. When TTC takes up such a large, important part of your life, it takes a little while to adjust to the having a baby part. It sounds wierd, but TTC is famililar territory. I mean, we all know how to handle the BFN. Buy whoa, a BFP?? What's up with that??
Take care and enjoy, you deserve it.
Pamela

[gonnabeamom]

So despite feeling earlier that this wasn't my month at all, I'm now in that rollercoaster part of the 2ww where my opinion about what's going on changes every couple of minutes. I'm cd 27 of a usually 29-30 day cycle, and 9 DPO.

I made a pledge to not consider symptoms because I'd been fooled so many times before but this month my breast tenderness is just over the top. Not only are the sore, my nipples are so sensitive it feels like someone set them on fire at times. I even check a pregnancy book for remedies, and it said, wear a bra when you are out, and not when you are lying around. Apparently it would help if I was wearing one on the outside to my clothes.


I keep looking at my chart even though I know my temps don't drop until the last minute. Thank god I'm kind of busy or I need a rubber room.

[gonnabeamom]

Apparently I'm doing kind of pregant.

Yep I'm pregnant. I feel alot like Jen did, a lot of, shock. A little like I've lost my membership in a club, happy, nervous,etc.

I thought I want to run over to the pregnancy forum right away but I feel a little like hanging back.

I hope everyone here can join me soon.

:dust :dust:dust :dust:dust :dust:dust :dust:dust :dust:dust :dust:dust :dust:dust :dust:dust :dust:dust :dust:dust :dust:dust :dust:dust :dust:dust :dust:dust :dust:dust :dust:dust :dust:dust :dust:dust :dust:dust :dust:dust :dust:dust :dust:dust :dust:dust :dust:dust :dust:dust :dust:dust :dust:dust :dust:dust :dust:dust :dust:dust :dust:dust :dust:dust :dust

[AdinaL]

WWWWAAAAAAAAHHHOOOOOOOOO!:banana

Yaay! That is so very exciting!!! Congrats!!!

[jenniferB]

yipee!!!:champagne :sticky :Kiss :banana :balloons :love

[chrissy]

WOO HOO!!!!! What a month this has been for us!

:D :fairy :love :thumb :Peace :Kiss :bf :clap :diaper :belly :+ :sticky :champagne :binky :sunshine :baby :snap :hearts :balloons :banana :jammin :flower :bgbounce

[Astrid]

:balloons Congratulations :balloons

[gonnabeamom]

Dear Gals,

Thanks so much. I am still feel strange. A little like riding a bike full tilt and loosing your chain. Your feet still want to pedal, but there's no traction.

As a long term TTC'er I have so many habits that I don't need anymore. Before we left, I unpacked my monitor, and pee sticks, and left behind my thermometer and chart.

I'm sort of unsure what to do with that energy. Also DH is sick, and between that and the traveling (we flew cross-country on the day I found out) and the holiday prep, the celebrating has been pretty mellow. If I had all my holiday stuff done, I could at least buy some baby stuff, but no time.

I am also wondering how long it will be before I stop checking the toilet paper and mentally pinching myself. I guess I'd better go find Jen's topic.

I can't tell you how much difference having this group to "talk to" has made to me. It saved my sanity. May you all be blessed with babies.

[AdinaL]

:hug

I can only imagine what that must be like. It would/will be tough. There is a lot of energy that I put into ttc, and checking these boards and all that...I can't really imagine what I will do when I don't have to do that.

Well, once the holidays are over you should have some more time to really soak in the whole having a baby idea!

Much :love to you!

[fairymama]

Congrats to Gonnabe!!! Wonderful, wonderful news. May we all be joining you soon.
I'm hosting AF, and while a touch bummed, I'm thrilled to be having my third 37 day cycle in a row. At this rate, dare I think I might be getting predictable and "normal"??
Merry Christmas, Happy Holidays and here's to babies for us all in the coming new year!!
Pamela