View Full Version : Did anyone choose adoption instead of birth
mosaicmama
11-10-2003, 04:56 PM
My partner and I are able to conceive and have a beautiful dauther. But, I have always wanted to adopt. Anyone else out there have children they birthed, and adopted ones too. Why did you decide to adopt instead of having another child? This just feels like something I would like to do, but sometimes it seems strange since we are able to conceive. I would love to hear anyone's personal stories.
Leatherette
11-11-2003, 11:47 PM
I have a biological son, and we are in the process of adopting our second child. I worked with a lot of children in the foster care system before becoming a parent, and adoption was something that was on my mind as a result. So my husband and I decided to experience giving birth to one child and adopting subsequent children (population issues also on our minds...and my going on bedrest for 3 months with our first).
I don't think it is strange at all to be able to produce children biologically and still want to adopt. Who wants to do things the same way all the time? We haven't even met our child yet, and we have learned so much about ourselves and others through this process.
Best wishes in your decision making....
L.
LisainCalifornia
11-12-2003, 09:28 PM
We have 2 bio kids, and one daughter that we adopted from China. Sometimes I feel like I have hit the jackpot by having the best of both worlds--but also I am amazed at how much there is NO difference between the two worlds. Does that make sense? I love all three of my children with the same intensity, and layering into that is our adoption story with Emma. What a gift I have been given!
I am happy to talk to you more about it anytime if you want to PM me.
Hugs,
Lisa :)
waldohood
11-13-2003, 07:18 PM
We have one son. Since he was born, we have suffered 4 miscarriages and am currently suffering a tubal pregnancy. My OB/GYN feels VERY strongly that we still have an excellent chance of having more biological children. That said, we have been through a lot. World population is definitely an issue- and, finally, we do not want to wait until the doctor officially labels us as infertile. When our next child asks, "Would you have adopted me even if you could have given birth to a child?" I want to honestly say, "YES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
That said, we are JUST getting started on the adoption process- any advice would be GREAT!
T. Elena
11-17-2003, 09:57 AM
We have one bio son and are currently in "the wait" for a domestic infant. We had to do unmedicated IUI (intrauterine insemination) for our first -- that's a relatively uninvasive and inexpensive procedure -- and we almost certainly could have gotten pregnant again with the right amount of time, effort, patient, money, and humility. But we decided on adoption instead for a number of reasons. Some things that played into it was that we didn't care to deal with the medical nonsense again, devoting many months of our lives to that unpleasant process (you have to monitor your body and stick to a testing schedule almost every day), we had population concerns, we felt adoption was the "right" thing to do, bla bla bla.
But, in the end, this is a decision you make with your heart, not because it makes sense practically. We did it because we were genuinely excited about adopting, felt we were in a good position to do so, thought it would broaden our horizons spiritually and otherwise, and never doubted that we would love a child "less" because we had not supplied his or her DNA ourselves. We came to a place where we were sure *our* baby was somewhere *out there.* We are thrilled to be doing this. And what a bonus to our child that we will be able to say, honestly, that we adopted because we wanted to.
Momma Aimee
12-19-2003, 07:30 PM
we have not DONE it yet. But that is, as they say, "the plan".
Dh-2b and I want to have one by birth. I just want to be pregant and I want us to share that expereince.
THEN we plan to adopt also. we both feel strongly that there are toooooo many kids out there that need homes. we are blessed to have a life where we are in a position to be able to share. We really want to adopt.
That is the plan. Coure; if I don't get pregant we will just adopt. To me a child is a child. If God calls me to be the mother; i will be the mother.
Aimee
BunnysMomma
12-28-2003, 11:24 AM
As far as we know, my husband and I can have biological children. But we have chosen not to. I was raised in a religious and cultural tradition that is very inward-focused and shuns the outside world. I have left that tradition because I feel called to lend my voice to the global situation. I feel that I have lots to give to a child and that my love isn't predicated on a biological tie, so I don't feel the need to create a child when there are millions who need homes. We have one domestically adopted child and we are in the process of an international adoption. My husband has always felt that adoption was in his plans for creating a family; he doesn't really know why he feels that way, he just always has.
Btw, I was adopted as an infant. The tradition in which I was raised generally doesn't adopt (although that is s-l-o-w-l-y changing, for very esoteric reasons), and my situation was pretty abnormal!
Wilma:)
Tigeresse
01-01-2004, 11:54 PM
We are also adopting having already birthed 3 children. We have a variety of reasons, none of which supersede our gut feelings on this, which that adoption is a right and natural choice for our family. Like LisainCA I feel doubly blessed, and liken this waiting period to pregnancy w/out all the discomforts. So, I would definitely encourage your to go for it (of course reasearching all your options) especially if you have that feeling that adoption is something you've always wanted to do.
Good Luck!
vBulletin® v3.7.3, Copyright ©2000-2008, Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd.