Hello. I am not sure if this is the right forum to ask this on, but it seemed the best one to me. I have an almost 4 year old DS. He grips his pen/pencil/crayon in his fist and doesn't seem to want to try to learn how to hold it properly. I know he is still young, but is this something he should be doing by now? I know friend's kids younger than him can hold their writing tools properly and write their names, but we haven't really worked on it much.
DS has a brain tumour and will not be starting school till he is 5 1/2 (in 2 years) once his chemo is done. So, I guess you could say he is being homeschoolded till then. I want to teach him everything he is missing in school so he won't be behind when he starts. He is extremely bright especially with his verbal skills and memory. But, his fine motor skills seem a little delayed and I'm unsure if it is the tumour or we as parents expecting more from him than he is capable at this age. Is there any way to help him learn how to do this, or should we just lay off and let him do it when he's ready??

TIA

DS is 5, attended full-day pre-k for last year, and is homeschooled this year. He still has issues with it. His younger brother has held a pencil "correctly" since he was 2. :shrug:

One thing his pre-K teacher suggested was buying the triangle shaped crayons and pencils. They encourage them to hold the pencil correctly.

Here's something from Handwriting without Tears:

Try these exercises to help students and other children with grip:

Keep the little finger and ring finger in the palm.
Have children hold a small sponge or penny in the palm with the little finger and ring finger. This keeps those fingers out of the way while the thumb, index, and middle fingers hold the pencil.

Use the rubber band trick.
Loop two rubber bands together. Place one around the wrist and the other around the pencil. This helps the pencil slant naturally in the child??s hand.

someone here gave me a great suggestion!! break crayons in halves or even in thirds for your child. it is impossible to hold a broken crayon incorrectly. that's how i taught my ds - it worked perfectly.... and it's honestly not as mean as it sounds, lol.

oh gosh. i really hate when i glimpse over a thread and then reply..and then read it fully. i wish i'd stop doing that!!

your son is not quite 4 yet, so i wouldn't even worry about it. my ds was lacking in fine motor skills big time. he will be 5 in march and just months ago couldn't draw a circle. now he can write his name though, and is drawing faces, etc. i did work with him regarding fine motor skills, but it was very very informal (like the broken crayons, etc). i also used shaving cream a lot and would let him play on the kitchen island in it drawing pictures, practicing letters, etc. it sounds like your son has a lot on his plate right now though, so unless he is interested in learning to hold a pencil correctly, i would not be terribly concerned for the time being :)

hugs to you.

At four a fisting is a fine motor delay. It's not a terribly unusual one...I just know from OT that at four they expect a better (not perfect but better) grip.

Writing on a vertical surface (taped to the wall or on an easel) can help. We did broken triangle crayons. Both the breaking and triangle help.
http://www.drawyourworld.com/Catalog/HTML/crayontri.html My friend had a ton of success with her four year old with these special crayons.

If your son is admitted to a children's hospital (maybe even if he isn't) I believe you could get OT for him through the hospital. We had therapists consulted for us when my son was hospitalized.

walmart or target even sell crayola triangle crayons now.

I bought those rubber pencil grips then taught my DS to hold the pencil with that. It helped him learn where to put his fingers. Triangle pens and crayons are a good way too.

My ds didn't hold a pencil properly until he was about 5.5. I wouldn't worry about your son since he's still quite young. In addition to the pencil grips that have already been mentioned, I bought my son a big fat red primary pencil. He has no problems holding it correctly, although I would say maturity had more to do with it than the size of the pencil.

Thanks for the tips on this thread! I care for a 4 yr old who still holds the crayon in his fist and his parents are a little concerned.

It is my understanding from researching this, too, that this would be a minor fine motor delay. I'm not going to force the issue at his age, lest I cause trouble in the long run for him.

I do plan to give him LOTS of opportunities to use his fine motor skills and really, appreciate the tips to encourage a child to develop a proper grip.

I agree with the PPs that suggest not pushing it at this age. I would just give him broken crayons and see how it goes, i.e. if he naturally grips it better and is not struggling to draw/write. If he seems uncomfortable, given what he has on his plate, I would hold off and try again after 6 months (again, gently, without forcing the issue).

I wish my parents to had tought me how to hold a pen or pencil :scratch

I don't know if it is their fault or mine, but I hold the pen a strange wrong way and after few minutes of writing my fingers get tired and ache. And I write awfully :irked:

I hope my kids to learn it better than me :love

Thanks for the suggestions. I have lots of broken crayons around lol, so it's great I now have a good use for them! If those fail the triangle crayons sound great.
We definitely don't push anything on DS especially because we don't know what his tumour is doing to his development, but at the same time we want to help him with his challenges and get him through all of this as easily as possible in a positive way. I am sure if it continues to be a problem that the hospital will help us out. We are there every week for DS's chemo and they have endless therapists and specialists there to help us and him through all of this. They've been amazing so far.

I am having a bit of the same problem, only my dd is 4 3/4 and holds the top of the pencil with her index and middle fingers. She writes letters and numbers quite a bit (some might even say obsessively) and draws alot too. I've been worried that she is going to be stuck in this bad habit, but refuses to change the grip and gets REALLY upset when I try to correct it (and please understand, I'm no drill major about it). I just recently got handwriting w/out tears, but she is not interested in formal writing study yet. She just likes to "play" with her letters now, so I don't want to push it.

I will try the triangular grips and some of the other suggestions, but do I need to worry about her developing this bad habit??

THANKS!