my son using low-level language with younger sibling

[ernalala]

Ds 1 who is now 5,5 has a way of addressing our 3y8m old in a way that is really starting to bother both me and dh.

I can describe it as him going 'down' to a language level that's way below his own capacities and also way beyond ds2's. The language he uses is also not really correct. Like it's a cartoon version of the real thing.

Example (originally not said in English but it gives an idea):
Where one would say 'let's go to the park'
ds1 may say to ds 2 'me you go to park!'
or instead of: 'would you like some milk?',
sth like 'you milk wanna?'
Or 'careful/quiet, mom is there!' (when they are doing sth I would surely comment on) is like 'shhh, mom come!'

He ONLY does this when addressing his younger sibling. It looks like d1 sometimes thinks ds2 is 'stupid' and that ds2 wouldn't understand him if he would just use normal, full sentences as he usually does.

It is true that ds2 was later in verbal expression than ds1. But he's been making great improvements over the past 6 months (also meaning less frustrations and probably also less tantrums due to language improvement?) AND his level of understanding of language as far as we know has always been good (better) comparing to his level of expression so far.

Yes, we as parents may have (had) to repeat many things over and over again to our youngest son, but NOT because he can't understand it on a language level, more regarding behavioural and cognitive issues, and I also suspect spd.

We think this language level thing may be related to sibling issues (rivalry? of which we had a lot), feeling very much like big brother over his younger sibling?, trying to exert some control?, 'parotting' ds2?, making fun of ds2's 3yo abilities?, wanting to make fun if his younger sibling whom he still sees as a 'baby' ...?

It truly bothers us since this gives real poor/low level language interaction from ds1 to ds 2, AND while for ds2 interactions with his older brother would normally be great for his further language development/achievement, we feel that right now, it may be the very opposite and/or even harmful to wat he's just achieved in verbal skills. That by ds1 'parroting' this so-called baby talk to his younger sibling, may in return result in ds2 parroting the same back again and because of this his verbal skills may even be stagnating, or developing in a much slower pace.

We've been addressing this issue with our ds1 on occasion, however have not been pushing or overreacting or repeating too often. We explained the importance of language use according to his abilities, also to children younger than him who MAY appear not to understand/speak as well as he does (yet) but who nevertheless deserve to be offered full sentences.

That, if he wants his brother to become more verbal soon, the best way he could help him is by using 'normal' language level in addressing him

We are a multi-lingual household but I'd like to point out that the above is a separate issue and the multi-lingual factor is not involved imo. They both still mix languages, especially the younger one, but that's just normal and a learning process too. Just as background info.
By the way, the level switch in speech happens in both languages ds1 actively speaks with ds2.

Anyone who recognises this? Is it something that'll pass or sth to worry about? Any ideas on how to help my ds1 drastically improve language use around ds2?

[loraxc]

DD does this with her younger brother sometimes (though admittedly he is much younger than your younger child--21 months). Really, it's a sign of social adeptness-the child is aware that we adjust how we speak depending on our audience. I'm sure your son is just trying to be helpful, but I know it can be annoying. We just call DD on it and say, "Remember, talk to him the right way so he can learn to talk the right way. You're his big sister and he wants to be like you!"

[ernalala]

What actually bothers me most is that ds1 started to do this at some point, it didn't seem like he was doing this much before. But maybe this is because ds2 started to be much more better in verbal expression lately and as a result there is more direct verbal communication between the 2 of them.

Also, my perception is that the language used now by my ds2 is much better than the level he gets in return from ds1, but that ds2 now sometimes seems to parrot back the more baby-talk like speech ds1 uses with him in stead of using his own (higher) acquired level of speech. And it's like ds1 doesn't pick up (or wish to pick up) on that.
It really seems like ds1 wants to 'baby' his brother and sometimes, by the way he does it, he seems to make fun of ds2 in one or other way.
But I may be wrong in that perception.

My ds1 and one or two other kids (aged 4 so inbetween my dss' ages) have been occasionally excluding my younger ds from their play on purpose. So it could also stem from this. Also, ds1 started to use 'he/she/him/her' wrongly since he was 4,5 years old and he's still doing this fequently. Especially when speaking to/about his little brother. So I do not know if it is just a developmental thing still or he sometimes does this on purpose.

But these factors together make it more awkward, too. Or not? I'm just not sure.

[LynnS6]

Instead of viewing this as talking down to his brother, it might be helpful to view this as him learning to use language in more complex ways. He's learning to adjust his speech to his audience. It's a newish skill, and he's doing it badly. But we all have a learning curve for new skills.

If you think he's doing this to exclude/make fun of his brother, that's another issue. You can say gently "Hey hon, your brother understands normal speech."

Overall, though, I wouldn't worry too much about it. The little bit of weird language your ds2 is getting won't have a major impact on him, given the fact that probably 98% of what he hears is typical, every day language from you and his older brother.