Feeling really down on myself

[prone_to_wander]

I feel like I haven't been doing a good enough job eating properly for this baby. I'm feeling really upset about it. I am eating around the same that I did before I got pregnant. I am taking a prenatal...but sometimes I forget. This week I forgot often.

I've been drinking chocolate milk...because I honestly can't stand the taste of regular milk. I've been eating more rice at lunch, but less everything else. The auntie at my kindergarten here in HK makes our lunches but they aren't appealing to me very much right now, so I've been having more rice and soy sauce.

I usually have some fruit maybe 2-4 pieces a day. Maybe a chocolate bar. And then dinner.

Last night I did horribly. I ate a sausage roll and cake. The night before I had crackers and cheese. I don't feel like cooking, or doing anything really. I worry about and I keep thinking about how much damage I'm doing because I can't seem to get my nutrition together. Anyone else feel this way?

[NCmama]

Take a deep breath and relax. You are eating fine for this baby. Sure it may not be what all the baby books tell you that you have to eat, but I don't believe in baby books anyway.

My entire first trimester I was eating fast food all the time and never took my vitamin. (and that was a big change from the way I had been eating!) BECAUSE the heavier the food the better I kept it down, don't know why. (and I have seen lots of mama's here say that too) And the thought of swallowing that horse pill made me sick, so I did what I needed to do to get through it. I kept the food down which was better than eating the dream menu and the puking it all back up.

You'll start to feel better and taking your prenatal sometimes is more than not at all. Chocolate milk is still milk. Rice is still a grain. Cheese is calcium, protein, ect. And 2-4 of fruit a day...way to go!!

Don't beat yourself up over what damage you think you may be causing. These little developing babies are MUCH stronger than we give them credit for! And remember, even cake has milk and eggs

[DeChRi]

I just want to chime in and say that this is my thrid pregnancy and with everyone the first 14-15 weeks were really nurtritionally challenged. Although I only had a week of real m/s with each, certain things just didnt sound good, certain things did, and it was mostly carbs or things with sodium by the bucketful. I felt pretty down too because I did have the super sickness as an excuse, nor true food adversions. I really just had a hard time making anything on the "appropriate" diet list taste like anything but blah to me. I am not sure what causes this?

Anyway, my first advice is be gentle. I lived this whole last week on grapes I think, lol. My second advice is instead of dwelling on what the big picture is of everything you are eating, just start trying to ADD a couple healthier things each day. I started saying....okay, I am going to eat what sounds good right now because my first trimester makes me feel like crap...BUT I am going to make sure I add in one extra good protein serving and a vegetable. So for a week I gutted those down and didnt beat myself up over the cake. Then the next week I added in a bowl of oats and mixed in a litte protein powder and made that my addition. This tactic just helped me know I getting a bit of good stuff and feel like I was doing SOMETHING proactive...but also gave me permission to not beat myself up for what I think is pretty common first trimester finicky eating.

Go easy on yourself.

[prone_to_wander]

Thank you so much guys. I just started crying when you replied. I feel like such a terrible almost-mom and I just can't get the gumption to do anything else about it.

DeChiRi-I think it is a good idea to try and add one good thing slowly.

Thanks so much for your support. I've been feeling a bit alone in all of this.

[stella.rose]

I agree with what other's have said. Guilt is not going to help, nor is dwelling on the past. Instead, start spending time trying to think about GOOD things that you WANT to eat, instead of bad things you should not be eating. Absent high risk for gestational diabetes or existing weight problems, throwing in a chocolate bar on top of an otherwise good day of eating isn't going to hurt anything except possibly your thighs, and you can lose that later!

Get creative and, if finances at all allow, treat yourself to the expensive, healthy takeout when you crave it, and ask the people around you for help with the cooking if you are too tired to do it. It helps me to make food in advance when I have time and energy, and that's an easy way to have healthy stuff around when you need it.

Good luck!

[Yellow Brick Rd]

Just another voice adding to what the previous posters mentioned

In my first trimester, I was a little nervous because seriously, the only food that sounded appealing to me was plain pizza. I guess there was something comforting about the bread and cheese. But I went for a week or two straight eating toast for breakfast, a slice of leftover pizza for lunch, and then a couple of slices of pizza again for dinner. Anything else wouldn't stay down.

Now in my second trimester, my food appetite is finally settling back to normal. I even find myself craving spinach and broccoli. I have a better handle on my portion control and, in general, am eating much, much healthier. But I really couldn't handle anything but pizza a few months ago, and that's okay!

Hang in there

[mama kk]

My first trimester in both my pregnancies I ate bagels and cream cheese twice a day... and I am normally a healthy eater. I felt guilty, but as pp have said, when 2nd trimester comes around you will find that balance again.

[bethanyclaire]

Awww, mama!

I am also of the opinion that developing babies are tougher than we think, especially in the first trimester. I am embarassed to say that the ONLY things I could eat during my first trimester were fast food cheeseburgers and macaroni and cheese (the nasty frozen kind) and apple pie (had to be made from scratch). If I ate anything else I threw it up within 5 minutes. It was terrible. Nothing else sounded good and I was too tired to cook even if it did. Sometimes I kept down my prenatal and sometimes I didn't. Sometimes I was so sick of puking that I didn't even try.

On the bright side, a few weeks into my second trimester I was finally able to eat again. From 16-ish to 29-30 weeks I really made up for my poor first trimester eating. It is getting a little tough again now, but I'm not worried about it.

Don't beat yourself up over it. Early pregnancy is hard (from your post I'm assuming you are in your first trimester). You can try smoothies if you can stomach them and, other than that, just do your best. The previous suggestions of adding one thing at a time is great because you'll feel like you are making changes without overwhelming youself.

[stealthmode]

I totally get the guilt thing. For the first 6 weeks I ate nothing but hot dogs and chicken nuggets, and then after that it was mostly simple carbs and whatever I managed to keep down. I swear I had the diet of a preschooler.

I will say that it gets easier to add in healthful foods once your system settles down a bit. Oh, and the prenatals--I *usually* remembered to take them, but I hardly ever take them now (just started the third trimester).

FWIW, all of my tests have been normal--no anemia, no GD, and my weight gain is in the normal range. Not to mention the babe looks and sounds great.

Trust your body to give your baby what it needs. I second the pp's suggestion of adding in one healthy food at a time, if only to make sure YOUR system doesn't get too depleted.

Good luck to you mama!

[jenfl]

Same here! I ate terribly in the first trimester with both pregnancies, only coming out of it around 15-18 weeks as my sickness subsided.

I found that I tended toward comfort foods from my past, so I asked my mom for recipes for some of the healthier ones that I hadn't eaten since I lived at home. That helped expand my diet a bit.

You'll almost certainly start coming out of it in the second trimester, and then you'll have the energy and motivation to start eating better. It won't seem like a chore. Don't force it -- you'll get there soon enough.

(signed, a woman who ate a fast food breakfast every morning for weeks with #1 because she craved the grease)

[ExuberantDaffodil]

My first trimester was a blur of pickles, cherries, and miso soup. Seriously. That is all I ate.

I did the slowly add something each week plan, and it helped tremendously. Sometimes all I could add was a protein powder shake or a boiled egg. Eventually my appetite caught up and I could make better choices as the pregnancy progressed.

[SunShineSally]

My first trimester all I ate was cereal and salads that was it ohh and second trimester I ate peaches like no tomorrow and cherries (thankfully they were both in season my ) right now at the end of the pregnancy all I want is fast food! Mostly mcdonalds breakfasts and taco bell and Mighty taco and pizza all the greasy goodness don't get me wrong I eat veggies and fruit too but I fight everyday not to go eat fast food mostly because then Ds gets it too and I am not okay with him to have fast food so much!

Basically I am just saying be gentle with yourself you are eating just fine and if you weren't I believe your body would let you know. No one is perfect and we work at it everyday to do better but we can't always do better

[katelove]

I know how you feel. I am 14 weeks and have been living on white bread and fish paste. Normally I have a very good diet. I figure eating something is better than eating nothing and whenever I can I eat fruit, veges etc. You sound like you're doing everything you can in the current circumstances which makes you a great mummy.

[DCMama01]

Just keep in mind that crackheads, dope fiends, and chain smoking alcoholics have perfectly healthy babies all the time. I used to feel guilty too, but my SO reminded me of this whenever I would beat myself up. Just continue to try to do better.

[mylovere123]

take it easy,you can get help from professional doctor ,and if you feel depressed you can talk with us online.

[prone_to_wander]

Today was much better. I had a decent breakfast and my DH sent some yummy treats with me to school. Thank you again. You guys really helped me think more positively.