OOooo, I am so frustrated I could scream!

[BedHead]

I guess this is really more of a vent than anything, but if anyone has dealt with something similar I would love to hear from you

Dh is a fussy eater. but I am becoming more and more convinced that it isn't because he really doesn't LIKE things, it's because he has DECIDED he doesn't like them, if that makes sense.

Example: On Friday we got a lovely dozen brown, green and white eggs from the farm delivered with our milk so on Sunday I made sausages and eggs. I had 3 store bought eggs left over and cooked them for dh, and cooked the farm eggs for the rest of us. Halfway through his meal he said 'I don't like these farm eggs - they taste 'off'. When I told him he wasn't EATING farm eggs he wouldn't back down - I really think his brain convinced his mouth that the eggs tasted yucky, so they did.

That was the first and only time I have actually 'caught' him. If that was the only incident I would chalk it up to one of the store bought eggs actually being 'off', but it's been going on for over a decade, ever since I've known him. Last night I made a new recipe (scalloped potatoes) and he flat out refused to even taste it because he didn't like the way it looked (this happens about twice a week). He won't go near our raw milk because he says it tastes like cow (he has had one sip, once). There have actually been several instances where he refused to even taste home made soup, and instead made himself a can or pkg of soup. Most of this could be attributed to him just being picky, but I think there's more to it, I really do.

There's no point in me trying to talk to him about this because he won't listen. My usual reaction is to just ignore it and cook what I am cooking anyway and let him just eat whatever (last night I served chicken, scalloped potatoes and asparagus, he ate chicken and toast) but MAN!!! it's frustrating!!!!!

[laohaire]

At first I honestly thought your post was about your kid, and somehow I thought for a second I saw something to suggest he was 5. I didn't see anything terribly unusual for that - frustrating, yes, but typical for picky 5 year olds.

Then I reread when you said it had been going on for over a decade and saw you meant your DH! This would drive me bonkers!

He must have some sensory issues, is all I can think of.

My DH doesn't like tomatoes and he was a little skittish about trying raw milk and didn't like it at first. But otherwise, that's it, he'll pretty much eat whatever I plop in front of him and I am VERY happy with that.

No advice, just support that I would find this VERY frustrating as well.

[BedHead]

What are sensory issues exactly?? I've heard of them in passing but have no experience.

[laohaire]

Sorry, I know very little myself, hopefully someone will have something to offer.

But basically the thought is that your DH might have trouble integrating or interpreting his senses. So it's stressful for him to experience something new. So it's easier for him to eat things that are consistent and that he knows exactly what it tastes like, etc.

And probably homemade things can be stressful too, even if he likes a dish. Let's say his mom cooked him "scalloped potatoes" from a box from the Hamburger Helper section of the grocery store. It tastes exactly the same every time. But when you make it homemade, you naturally do different things: red potatoes one time or Idahos another depending on season, more or less cheese or a different type, salt varies by how heavy your hand is that day, more or less milk creating a more runny or more gooey effect, etc. So if he has a sensory problem, he might not be able to really decide like a normal person, "hmm, let me taste, does this taste good to me?" but rather panic that it's nothing like the dish he expected.

Maybe that'll help with your frustration if that's the case - since it's maybe not about your cooking or about him being silly or immature or whatever.

[BedHead]

That is VERY interesting. I'm going to have to look into that some more - it could really explain a lot!