is this something to be concerned about?

[mO'S mom]

hiey guys. DS is 3 1/2 yrs old. these days seems to be touching himself a lot...u know where i mean. m not sure intentionally or un-intentionally his hands migrate to his privates. i dont want to stop the behavior by reprimanding the wrong way, that it will lead to some scaring....u know what i mean.. please help me how to handle this? shud i be even concerned? is this something common? natural? is this a phase? i grew up in a family of girls and have no clue about growing/raising boys...please help

[lonegirl]

Sounds like a normal boy to me...
Just remind him that is something private.

[HappilyEvrAfter]

Yep, yep. Sounds normal to me to.

Gentle reminders of where you want him to be when he does it is what I would recommend.

I see grown men do it all the time in public.

[MusicianDad]

Originally Posted by HappilyEvrAfter

I see grown men do it all the time in public.

Some men are so secure in their masculinity they have to make sure it's still there at regular intervals.

To the OP, what they said above. A simple reminder that it's best done in the bedroom or bathroom.

[annethcz]

From my experience, it seems to be most common in the 3-5 year old age range. After that boys get a little bit better about understanding appropriate boundaries.

Like a PPer said, I usually tell my children that is something they should do in private. "If you need to touch your penis, please go to the bathroom or your bedroom. Wash your hands when you're done, and then come back and join us."

[HappilyEvrAfter]

Originally Posted by MusicianDad

Some men are so secure in their masculinity they have to make sure it's still there at regular intervals.

Do you mean INsecure?

[Ruthla]

This isn't just a "boy thing". Little girls do the exact same thing around that age- or mine did anyway.

I always responded with a simple "if you want to touch your privates, please do it in private". Then I'd remind the child to wash his or her hands.

BTW, I take the exact same approach with nosepicking. "Nobody wants to see you doing it, and wash your hands when you're done!"

[lynsage]

Girls do it too!

When mine started that behavior at around 2 we established that touching your genitals is something that is done in private and I would just calmly let her know that if she wants to do that she needs to go into her room or the bathroom.

[meemee]

yup its a common children thing. in my dd's dc many kids would put themselves to sleep by masterbating. i think they realise it feels good and not really sexual. i remember my dd touching herself when she was relaxing like watching tv or bedtime (which is why i could never do the bedroom/bathroom rule). she never did it in public so i did not have to give her any direction.

[ramama]

My DD is almost 4 and "wiggles" in her car seat and won't get out until she's finished LOL. She really works at it, literally working her car seat straps very loose. Ugh. Sometimes we worry that she is going to hurt herself. So I'd say, completely normal!

[noobmom]

My DS (3.5) just started doing this too. Not all the time, but occasionally, which is much more than before. He never played with or touched his penis when he was younger. I don't say anything to him about it because I was worried about the opposite--that he WASN'T doing it LOL. Anyway, it only happens when he's naked, and since he's generally only naked in the bathroom or bedroom, that pretty much sets the boundaries.

[BunniMummi]

DS1 was the same between about 3 and 4 (pretty much as soon as the diaper came off). I think I went a full summer being happy if I managed to go an hour without redirecting his hands. It was hard to allow him the chance to "get to know himself" without making it seem like a bad thing while still trying to convince him that it wasn't appropriate in all situations.

He still does it on occasion but it's more limited to when he is sleepy and/or distracted.