I know there have been other threads like this but...

nannymom · 11-02-2009, 03:06 PM

they get so long I'm selfishly starting a new one in the intrest of time.

What do you wish you had told your partner before a homebirth in terms of what was helpful to you or what you needed them to do?

What do you wish you had in the house that would have made things easier for you?

And finally what do you wish you had prepared for your other children if they attended or if they went with a caregiver?

TIA

Kmama2 · 11-02-2009, 08:19 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by nannymom

they get so long I'm selfishly starting a new one in the intrest of time.

What do you wish you had told your partner before a homebirth in terms of what was helpful to you or what you needed them to do? Nothing really. Midwife acted as doula and did most of the 'comforting. Dh was my calm, reassuring presence. A few things we went overbefore hand- where the home birth supplies were.. and remembering to turn up the water heater ( for the tub) when I went into labor and remembering to turn up the heat in the house.

What do you wish you had in the house that would have made things easier for you? Again nothing really. We did cover the rugs with painters plastic and that made clean up really easy. I had meals in the freezer and I made sure that the fridge didn't get to empty

And finally what do you wish you had prepared for your other children if they attended or if they went with a caregiver?
baby was born at 555 am and dd slept through it all.
TIA

Sorry this probably wasn't really that helpful but the one thing I wish I knew before hand was how awesome it would be!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I worried at times about labor, birth etc.. and it was sooo awesome!!!!

WindyCityMom · 11-02-2009, 09:39 PM

Im planning a UC but am taking notes on this!

Amandamanda · 11-02-2009, 10:06 PM

ooh definitely subbing!

violet · 11-03-2009, 02:49 AM

Before our first I wish I had known to tell my DH that I wouldn't be able to communicate well while in labor. I remember thinking really loudly that I wish he would press on my back but not actually SAYing it and being mad that he didn't understand.

Also, those first minutes after birth I was really not all there yet and he put the baby in my arms, for good reasons I'm sure. But then I was totally overwhelmed and really needed him to use the common sense I still lacked and get a blanket, etc. I was there like a doofus in the tub looking at the precious crying baby with no clue what to do to make her stop. I guess everybody thought we were bonding but really I needed somebody else to be sensible because my brain had not returned to my body yet.

stuff in the house: more meals in the freezer.

for the sibs- We've tried to have some gifts, activities planned for the time around the birth to keep some focus on them... for my 3rd we had this great advent calendar game thing going because I didn't want the baby's birth before Christmas to take all the attention. This time we are planning a baby party for the sibs with a pinata because they really love pinatas. Nothing special for the birth time itself, just special stuff in general so it's not all baby, all month. their lives still continue, you know?

nannymom · 11-03-2009, 07:25 PM

good stuff. Please keep it coming.

MommyKrista · 11-03-2009, 07:29 PM

Thanks for starting this thread!

MayLibertySprout · 11-04-2009, 11:26 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by MommyKrista

Thanks for starting this thread!

GoGoGirl · 11-06-2009, 11:14 PM

I can't really think of anything I wish I'd told DH. The only thing he did during labor that pi$$ed me off was pushing on my back crookedly when I needed him to do counterpressure. He was trying to rest his arms, so he'd lean one arm on the wall while pushing, but that made me CRAZY because it knocked me off balance. I couldn't relax through contractions when I was trying to keep my balance and not get pushed over. I told him a bunch of times to knock it off, but he kept doing it. So I guess that's something I wish I'd told DH--when I'm in labor, FOLLOW ORDERS!

As for stuff to have in the house, the only thing I wish we'd had was more towels. Or at least that I hid some towels until after the birth! We ended up using every single towel in the house during labor. So when I took a shower after giving birth, there weren't any left and I had to dry off with a wet towel!

camprunner · 11-07-2009, 07:30 PM

I wish that I had told DH that I would need him with ME the WHOLE time. Watching TV and cleaning up messes can wait when I'm in labor. I couldn't call out to him loud enough for him to hear me. I wish I'd told him that he was NOT to answer the phone while I was pushing or until the midwives left and I was doing well. I wish I'd told him that the baby was NOT to get a pacifier (I assumed he remembered from how adament I was about this with the first child). I wish that I'd told him to keep the baby in the room with me while I was being stitched up and to sit beside me and hold my hand instead of walking up and down the hall with the baby. Actually next time, I'm thinking of hiring a doula to be my voice and dh's common sense reminder.

I feel like we were pretty prepared as far as birth supplies went. That part I wouldn't change.

My child was given the option of staying or going and she chose very cheerfully to leave with the person who had offered to watch her. I do wish that DH and I had discussed my preference of care. I had wanted him to go ahead and take dd to her daycare provider that morning before labor got bad so as not to disturb anyone's plans for the day.

To do it all over again...I'm thinking a doula would have fixed a lot of my regrets.

treespeak · 11-07-2009, 08:08 PM

One thing stands out: Not long after I gave birth, DH was holding DS for a minute while my midwife gave me a couple stitches. DH walked into the next room and it freaked me out to be so far away from my baby. It was this unbeleivable pain to be separated...like someone was holding my head and saying "don't worry, I'll bring it right back." I had no idea before giving birth that I would feel like that, but in retrospect it makes sense. DS and I had been living in the same body for nine months. We needed to be right next to eachother after birth.

mcgee · 11-07-2009, 08:22 PM

My homebirth was on Thursday, so this is fairly fresh in my mind.

I wish I'd told DH to put the champagne in the fridge to chill, because my mom cooked breakfast for everyone, and we could have had celebratory mimosas with our midwives, but we all forgot about it. I wish I'd told him BEFORE he rolled out the carpet protector film for the birthing tub that odds were against my labor lasting long enough for us to fill up the pool. Him rolling out the carpet protector took a long time, made a lot of noise, and ended up being a big waste. And then, of course, the package was open and now I can't return it to Home Depot.

In terms of what I wish I'd had at the house, I wish I'd set up more candles in the bathroom instead of the living room, but then, I wasn't planning to deliver in the tub. I just ran out of time to get the pool filled and had to use the tub instead. I wish I'd moved more of the clutter out of the master bedroom, but again, labor moved faster than we thought it would. I wish I'd ordered more of the cold ice pack pads. I only ordered two with the birth kit, and more would have been nice to have. I ended up with a lot of leftover supplies too because I labored/birthed in the tub, so we have a ton of chux pads and other items I may never use.

For our daughter... well, she slept through the whole birth, because it only lasted about 3 hours during the night. So in her mind, she went to bed with a pregnant mama and woke up to a baby in her parents' bedroom. As a result, she has asked us repeatedly if we're really keeping the baby, what happened to the baby that was in my tummy, why isn't the baby in me anymore, etc. I kind of wish that she had been able to come in toward the end, but then, DS had to have CPR after birth, so being there would likely have been traumatic for her. Had she been there in the room, I know I'd regret that we didn't prepare her for the possibility that something could go wrong with the birth and that the midwives might have to work on the baby for a while.

nannymom · 11-07-2009, 08:31 PM

I'm taking notes, this is very helpful!

sunfish21 · 11-07-2009, 08:56 PM

We had an unplanned home birth the first time around--this time I know a few things to do differently. I will call the doula and midwife the moment I think it might be labor--if it is a false alarm, so be it! This would have been very helpful as our midwife was on speaker phone racing to our place when dd was born.

I wish I had known that what I was experiencing was severe anemia after too much blood loss, but I gave birth standing over the toilet and with the midwife not there no-one knew how much blood I had lost. I think I would have asked for a transfusion if I had known it was that bad...took weeks to be able to sit up, walk, and shower safely.

I will set up a signal (?) because I couldn't communicate at all--the contractions were overwhelming. DH was rubbing my back and the movement was driving me nuts--but I couldn't even get words out. I know now that I need constant pressure.

Keep the camera charged and extra batteries on hand.

A home birth kit should take care of many other concerns we had.

Excited to do it again!