How do I hold onto my homebirth???

[jkseawell]

I am 42 full weeks today. I know I am certain 100% of my dates. I was due October 21. As of Monday, I was 4 cm dilated, 80% effaced and baby was nice and low. No mucus plug at all. Nothing in the way. Perfectly positioned baby for birth! Awesome. But no baby! Not even real hard contractions. If you could even call what they are contractions. I have done every natural thing there is on the face of the earth to start labor without induction. We have even done a couple "cervical massages" to try and start things going. Now that we are starting week 43, the common recommendation is to go have a biophysical profile done to check on things. I just don't want to fall into the cycle of intervention. I WANT MY HOMEBIRTH!!! We planned a homebirth with our first and after 36 hours of labor with a posterior asynclitic baby, we transported and 10 hours later he was born, vaginally, but with much intervention that I just didn't want and don't want this time.

Right now the options are: wait. Which at this point, we have waiting a while!!! Break the waters. Which can be done here at home and risk the fact that if labor doesn't start, baby get distressed, or the cord prolapses, our homebirth is over. Go in and have the biophysical profile done and odds are, be told that they need to induce and if we refuse, be told how our baby could die or whatever guilt factor they can use.

So, what do we do??? How do I hold onto this homebirth that we all so desperately want and need for the healing from our last birth when it all seems to be slipping away so quickly??? Anyone been here before??? I just need some encouragement. I feel like such a failure. I want what is best for my family and this baby but I don't want to be so ignorant that something bad happens! I just want feel defeated and tired. I thought I would be holding my baby in my arms right now and here I am fighting for the birth I have always dreamed of! I have had an amazingly healthy and active pregnancy!!! How is this happening right now??? I don't get it! I know in a couple weeks I will be looking back laughing at how emotional I am right now but as I go through it, it doesn't seem too funny!

[Sk8ermaiden]

Who would interpret your BPP and how intervention-happy are they?

When I went to 41 weeks, my midwife requested I go to the sonographer and have a BPP/NST. Had I gone past 42 weeks, she would have let me go to 43 under her care if I went every other day. This was all fine with me because my midwife would be the one looking at the NST, and she was in no hurry to evict the baby.

But if you're being sent to an OB or something who will come up with whatever reason to risk you out of homebirth, then I wouldn't go.

My midwife was cautious. At 41 weeks she sent me home with her spare doppler to check in on baby daily, and like I said, the NSTs. She also had me coming in VERY frequently (every three days) after that point. (I live close-ish and SAH.) BUT that was just her being careful - she's anal like that. She believed that we were healthy, and I trusted her, and she never put any pressure on me.

SO I guess the real question is, how much faith do you have in the person reading your BPP? How much faith do you have in your midwife?

BTW. I went into labor at 42 weeks exactly (sure of dates). My baby was very obviously perfectly cooked - placenta perfect as well.

That's so rambling, I'm sorry, it's late! Have you tried stripping membranes?

[nashvillemidwife]

Originally Posted by jkseawell

Go in and have the biophysical profile done and odds are, be told that they need to induce and if we refuse, be told how our baby could die or whatever guilt factor they can use.

To be honest, you sound a little irrational. We all know the important thing about continuing a postdates pregnancy is not the date on the calendar, but how the baby is doing. You are 100% certain that you are a full 2 weeks past your due date, you should have a BPP. That is not "overly-interventive", that is timely and appropriate. And if the results show the baby is compromised, he or she needs to be born. That is also timely and appropriate.

[GoBecGo]

I had 2 BPP/NST's done in my 42nd week (i got to 41+4 and had them at 41 and 41+2) and both times they found a perfectly happy baby, a perfectly functioning placenta and nothing to worry about. I had my homebirth. She was not at all over-cooked, i think i just cook a little longer than the traditional 40 weeks.

I can well understand, after your last birth, that panic might be setting in, but really i cannot see it panning out like you worry it will.

I think you will go for the BPP and find all is fine. IF, it is a HUGE IF, they find a reason to induce, unless they are the quietest hospital in the world or your baby is in real and immediate danger they will at least send you home to pack a bag and ask you to come in later that night/the next day. Which means when you get the fake phonecall about the fake family crisis that you have to go attend to you will be at home and can then call the hospital and tell them "sorry, this cannot wait, i'll call you tomorrow and we'll reschedule" and thus keep yourself out of there for another few days. Unless of course the baby really IS in trouble (and you can have them detail what is wrong and what it means and get a 2nd and 3rd opinion and STILL disagree if tey're being intervention-happy about it) in which case this is moot.

I was really worried about "monitoring" a they called it, and felt my homebirth slipping away, but honest and true, it actually put everyone caring for me at greater ease, and made my homebirth MORE attainable.

[pants]

I'm here to offer hugs.

I do have to agree with the PP regarding the health of the baby rather then the calendar or charts. I'm praying for you!!!!!!!!

[jkseawell]

I appreciate the responses. Everything seems very healthy so far. The baby still has lots of fetal movement, is sucking good (we felt that during a check), has a stellar heart rate, and my amniotic fluid level is good too! I have faith in my MW that she knows what she is talking about. The Dr., he has tried to use scare tactics before and although I would prefer to not see him, he is my MW's back up and the most homebirth friendly doc in the area. I am going to call today and set up the appt for Monday I think which will give us over the weekend to prepare and figure things out. I agree that the health of the baby is most important. But I also feel that fetal monitoring and ultrasound are far too much intervention for me and set the wheels in motion. And I also know that OB's tend to not like women to go over their due dates, especially in my rural area of living. I don't feel like my fear on this or the pressure they put on women to induce is irrational by any mean, however. I have been there, done that with my first and it was all about scare tactics to get their way to inverventionalize my birth...and they did to an extent! I just don't want that again and anyone who has been there, has to know how that feels.

[Tattooed Hand]

I don't think you are being irrational at all! Going past 42 weeks should only be a problem if there is something wrong with the baby's health. Unfortunately that's not always the case and some docs do use scare tactics.

I think you should get the information and resist in any way that puts the least amount of stress on you - tell the doc to stuff it or pretend to play along. As long as your baby is doing fine, there is no need to rush things along. My cousin had her baby at 43 weeks and the little guy just needed to cook longer, though her doc, even with proof of a healthy baby, was pushing her for induction. She resisted and had a natural vaginal birth and he wasn't even that big (8lbs).

Hang in there!

[aiyasmama]

I don't think you're being irrational mama! When things don't go as planned for your first birth, every hitch the second time around is scary. I had a successful HBAC, but it was a nerve-wracking emotional process! You are right to consider your options carefully. Personally, I would go in for testing after 42 weeks, but I would bring my most trusted advocate, and I would plan to resist pressure for an induction unless the baby was in immediate danger.

Also, do what you can to relax. Baby is less likely to come when you're stressed. S/he'll be here soon!

[jkseawell]

Well, I had a prenatal massage today and the lady was AMAZING to say the least. I had one when my first birth went over a couple days and the lady that time was so hesitant to massage even my back> This time, totally worth it. She asked me what I wanted her to focus on and I told her, "Anything to make this baby come soon." She said, "okay, I'll focus on all the points they tell you not to with pregnant women." And she did! And I started having sporatic contractions on my way to pick up DS. Then, I had them all the way home about 5mins apart. Our MW came over with a mission to break waters if baby was presenting well and since baby isn't, we are doing things to correct that a bit but contractions are still 5mins apart and hopefully putting baby in a good position. I am 6 cm dilated and 80% effaced. So, keep us in your thoughts!!!

[wendybird]

Ohhh...praying for a healthy labour and delivery!!! Go mama!

[pants]

oh YAY I can't wait!!!! come baby come!!!

[jkseawell]

Baby came this morning at 8:00am via an unexpected breech delivery after 10 hours of intense and almost unbearable labor. Xander Josiah, 8lb 4oz. I am so in love and feeling great other than all of the bleeding. I am still on my birth high! Thanks for all of your thoughts and prayers. So glad we didn't goto the Dr. sooner because I certainly would have lost my homebirth!!! Even though it was amazingly scary, everything worked out exactly as it was suppose to and we are so grateful!!!

[Mrsboyko]

Wow, congrats on your breech surprise. He is not even that big for 2 weeks "late". Good job believing in yourself and keeping him cooking till he was done.

[Astraia]

Whoo-hoo, congrats!

I love a happy ending (and I love his name!)

[quiverfull]

great ending!!! so happy you were able to have your homebirth.

[pants]

Originally Posted by jkseawell

Baby came this morning at 8:00am via an unexpected breech delivery after 10 hours of intense and almost unbearable labor. Xander Josiah, 8lb 4oz. I am so in love and feeling great other than all of the bleeding. I am still on my birth high! Thanks for all of your thoughts and prayers. So glad we didn't goto the Dr. sooner because I certainly would have lost my homebirth!!! Even though it was amazingly scary, everything worked out exactly as it was suppose to and we are so grateful!!!

I'm so glad you got your homebirth!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[jkseawell]

Originally Posted by pants

I'm so glad you got your homebirth!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Thanks so much! I was an incredible journey! But I am so glad that we stuck it out because it is totally worth it in the end! We are so blessed and grateful! Thanks again!

[Kidzaplenty]

Congratulations!

[GoBecGo]

What a lovely update! Congratulations!