Swings, Bouncers, Oh My!

CrunchyKnitter · 11-07-2009, 11:12 AM

Hi everyone, I have an "issue" and I hope this is the right place for it. Our son will be 12 weeks old in a couple days and until just recently he's been the type of baby that has to be held or worn at all waking (and lots of sleeping!) moments. Being the type of parents we strive to be (attachment parenting, etc) this has never been a problem. We have both a swing (loaned to us) and bouncer for those times I NEED to set him down for a few min and until recently only used them for needed times (take something out of the oven, feed the dogs, go to the bathroom). I really try not to overuse stuff like this b/c I know it's best for him to be held, etc. Lately, however, we are finding that he's actually quite content and happy to play for a few minutes on his own, focusing on the toys on the swing and bouncer. As long as he's content, is this okay? I feel like it goes against AP to just put him in there to play on hisown, but he'shappy... thoughts?

bajamergrrl · 11-07-2009, 11:24 AM

I consider myself AP-ish and my son loves to be held a lot. I do put my DS down to play on his own when he's content. DS enjoys it and gets to practice scooting or rolling or just likes to look around and laugh. Once he seems to want to be held again I pick him up. I think AP is about attending to your child's needs rather than observing a strict set of rules. If your DS is happy playing on his own then I can't see how it would be harmful unless he was ignored when he wanted to be held again. It sounds like you're a wonderful, attentive mama so your son will probably be just fine.

marisa724 · 11-07-2009, 11:35 AM

AP is definitely about more than just following a set of rules. It's great to wear your baby, I've done it lots with both my boys, but I've also given them space to sit and look around from a different perspective (bouncer, swing, boppy, etc.) My DS1 used to sit in his bouncy seat and watch the leaves blow on the trees while I folded laundry or cooked; DS2 *loved* to fall asleep in the swing in the dining room when the rest of the family ate dinner.

AP is about responding to your baby in a way that will make him feel safe and like his needs are getting met, and it sounds like that's what you're doing!

**DevaMajka** · 11-07-2009, 02:15 PM

If he's happy, then it's all good

My ds2 actually fusses sometimes *because* he wants down. (well, that's our guess- he fusses while being held, and is very happy once we put him down). He likes the playmat, the swing, and he LOVES the Bumbo seat. The instant he lets us know he's unhappy, we pick him up.

Ds is held most of the time, of course, and even when he's down we are usually close to him, so he can see and hear us. But I see nothing wrong with putting dc's down if they are happy.

Now, ds1 screamed when we put him down, so he was held ALLLLL the time! lol

Baby_Cakes · 11-07-2009, 02:58 PM

You are making your baby happy! I think that's the goal of AP'ing. No where does it say that baby must be worn for you to qualify as an AP parent!

JMJ · 11-07-2009, 04:26 PM

Actually, I think this is normal with AP babies. People think of AP babies as needing to be held all the time and screaming if you set them down. Actually, AP is about giving children all the attention that they need, not necessarily 100% of your attention all the time. Some babies need more attention to feel secure, others need less. At some point in time, all children start becoming more independent. I think that there are 2 different kinds of independence: that which comes from making do when they know that they won't be picked up and that which comes from knowing that their needs are met and being genuinely curious about the rest of the world and ready to experience it at an increasing distance away from Mom. There's no reason to feel guilty for following his cues that he is ready to gain a bit of independence. Just be ready to pick him back up when he is ready to be back in your arms again.

ktmama · 11-07-2009, 09:20 PM

AP is about responding to your baby's individual needs and babies are all so different from each other! Follow your baby's cues and you can't go wrong. Congrats on your new babe!

CrunchyKnitter · 11-08-2009, 08:14 AM

Thank you so much everyone! Your thoughts have really helped ease my mind. I think sometimes, as parents, we are so afraid of doing something that we don't believe in and you have to realize that not everything is so bad (like a bouncer is not bad if the baby isn't parked in their alone all day and IS enjoying himself!)

Kelly1101 · 11-09-2009, 12:09 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by CrunchyKnitter

As long as he's content, is this okay?

Yes.