tell me to just do it!

MayLibertySprout · 11-04-2009, 11:20 PM

so i had hoped for a HB since the second i knew i was pg, but several circumstances (mostly financial) seemed to make it not an option, and i just figured i would have to settle for another birth center birth like my last 2.5 yrs ago. that wasn't that greatest of an experience, but not "terrible". to top off they have gotten worse with their "policies" of risking out to a hospital that i REALLY don't want to give birth at - very high C-section rates.

now at 35 wks an opportunity has opened for me to have the HB I have always wanted!

I'm really in shock, and have not really totally processed this i guess. i REALLY didn't think i would have this opportunity, especially this late in the pregnancy.

i loved the MW, i was happy with all of her answers to my questions, etc.
i left this morning in shock that this could be reality. i told her i would get back to her by tomorrow about my decision. my friend, (and doula) said i should sleep on it, but i really need to make my decision asap. (totally agree!)

so for some reason i am apprehensive, and i don't know why! i have wanted this all along - what's wrong with me?

it does bother me a bit that DH is not 100% comfortable with a HB, but says that "whatever makes me comfortable, and i want to do is fine with him". he keeps saying it does make me nervous - "what if something goes wrong!?".

sorry for rambling...any advice

MariaSangria · 11-04-2009, 11:49 PM

I decided fairly late into my pregnancy to go with HB (about 28 weeks, I think). I hadn't been able to find anyone in our area, and had pretty much resigned myself to birthing at the hospital with our family doctor (better than the *one* OB in our town, but still, no midwife). I think I also needed all that time to work through some fears about HB (and birth in general -- this is my first!). I still felt apprehensive, even after we made the decision. One difference was that my partner was pro-HB all the way.

As the weeks have passed I've felt more and more comfortable and sure about our decision, and am looking forward to the birth (which will be any day now!!). Here are the things that helped me -- your situation might be different:
-- I was born at home in the 70s, and I have been present at two beautiful home births.
-- I really like and trust our midwife.
-- The hospital is 8 blocks away ... just in case. It's extremely unlikely that something would happen so fast that I couldn't get medical attention in time.
-- My mom and sister will also be with me, and they have both experienced natural childbirth and home birth.

Even though you're close to being full-term, there's no law that says you can't change your mind about where to have your birth at ANY time. Maybe you could say yes to the home birth, and see how you feel? I COMPLETELY understand your feelings of apprehension. And in the end, I think you need to be where you feel safest. Be gentle with yourself and trust your instincts. One thing that helped me was really picturing labor and birth ... seeing who was there, feeling the energy, hearing the sounds ... and that helped me know I truly wanted to be at home.

MayLibertySprout · 11-05-2009, 12:08 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by MariaSangria

Even though you're close to being full-term, there's no law that says you can't change your mind about where to have your birth at ANY time. Maybe you could say yes to the home birth, and see how you feel? I COMPLETELY understand your feelings of apprehension. And in the end, I think you need to be where you feel safest. Be gentle with yourself and trust your instincts. One thing that helped me was really picturing labor and birth ... seeing who was there, feeling the energy, hearing the sounds ... and that helped me know I truly wanted to be at home.

thanks- this really helps

kolszewski · 11-05-2009, 11:12 AM

You sound exactly, I mean exactly!!, like me 4 weeks ago. In fact, this note is nearly identical to mine!

I am currently laying in bed next to my 12 hour old home birthed baby!!!

the decision to homebirth has been the absolute best decision I have ever made. btw, DH is currently on the phone in the other room telling his friend how cool the hb was (he felt the same as your DH)

Go with you gut!

MayLibertySprout · 11-05-2009, 11:53 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by kolszewski

You sound exactly, I mean exactly!!, like me 4 weeks ago. In fact, this note is nearly identical to mine!

I am currently laying in bed next to my 12 hour old home birthed baby!!!

the decision to homebirth has been the absolute best decision I have ever made. btw, DH is currently on the phone in the other room telling his friend how cool the hb was (he felt the same as your DH)

Go with you gut!

what a great story!! thanks for sharing

mamalink4 · 11-07-2009, 12:15 PM

homebirth is an amazing adventure! I had my 5th baby at home this past june. Thankfully, or he would have been a car baby

. I was all gung ho for months and then as the last few weeks crept by I started having more and more hestitation, but still just couldn't change the scenery in my mind to the hospital setting. What I would suggest is to sit in a quiet room and visualize what your perfect birth for this baby is. Don't force it, let it just flow. When I did that at about 32 weeks, I pictured it being in my bathroom with my husband, best friend and sister being present. I made acceptions for it to change if needed, but who knew that even my picturing the midwife missing it would end up being right? I ended up getting exactly what I visualized so many weeks before. To a T! And I have absolutely no regrets, it was everything I could have hoped for and more. So absolutely trust yourself, sit in a quiet space (or even when getting ready to fall asleep) and just let your mind wander to what you want to see for your birth, you might be surprised at what you see. Good luck mama, I am sure that whatever you choose it will be beautiful!!

notjustmamie · 11-07-2009, 12:49 PM

I look at it this way, if you go for a HB and want to transfer to the hospital at any point, you can just go. It doesn't work the other way around.

Good luck as you make your decision.

MayLibertySprout · 11-09-2009, 09:27 AM

as you can see from my post here, I've made the final decision to go ahead with the homebirth! thanks for everyones support

homebirth after all!
hello mamas!

i usually just lurk here, guess i haven't had too much to say
part of it is that i really, really wanted to have a HB and i was really bummed because there seemed just no way that it was going to happen (mostly financial).

BUT i met with another MW the other day, and we were able to work it out, and i am getting my HB i have always dreamed of (4th babe)!!!

i was (am) really in shock, and overwhelmed, as i have had it in my head now for so long that i was NOT going to have a HB. i was really feeling like it was just too late to be changing the plans now. (i'm 35wks & 1day)
but i have finally made the decision and called the MW to tell her that i AM going to do it!!

i am so excited (and still very overwhelmed)!

just wanted to share